Thanks to:
...Kirsten, Noel and Jim, this book/short story is for you.
Story:
When I was young, my mother told me: "Just because you think you know something doesn't mean everyone else needs to hear." My bizarre methods of communication have disturbed many previous relationships with both women and men friends who have since called me "Weird ol' Mikey." Of course, being quiet isn't a choice of my own doing – to be honest, it's the opposite.
I know everything.
I don't mean "everything about baby seals in Alaska" or "everything about fruit scented tampons," I know everything that is going to happen in my future from the time I've been able to speak until the time I'm going to die. I know the date of my death; the time and how it's going to happen: April 15th 2021 at 11:09pm during a hunting accident. Which reminds me: I need to learn how to hunt to make it look like an accident. At least buy a gun and learn how to shoot. To be honest, I'd rather die than sit in a crowded movie theater like this. Large crowds scare the hell out of me.
"Come on, Michael, the movie's about to start!" Hannah screamed over the vast sea of heads drifting in waves at the Cinema-plex 16 concession area, breaking my thought, "I don't want to miss the previews!"
Sigh. I don't know why I bother with relationships anymore since I won't marry, but I still enjoy the touch of a woman.
Back to the original point I was trying to make: I stay quiet on purpose.
I hand the candy-jockey a $20 bill from my wallet and pick up the flimsy recycled cardboard tray with her soda, medium popcorn and two boxes of sugary-filled happiness: Milk Duds and Sno-Caps. The sugar alone from the candy coursing through Hannah's diabetic bloodstream will guarantee me a good time after the movie ends and we go back to my house. The cashier hands me back two quarters I put in my shirt pocket while balancing the tray with my left hand. He focuses on my rolling eyes before helping the next sucker in line. At least I hope he makes more than minimum wage, expensive as these "movie going experiences" have gotten. $40 for two hours of "entertainment" could be better spent elsewhere.
"Come on, hurry!" Hannah wraps her arm around my waist as we walk down the hallway to our designated theater. Despite this being opening night, I already know how the movie ends. Hannah thinks I'm some type of psychic since I tend to "guess" things before they occur. In more times than not, I'm running my mouth when I shouldn't be and some small bit of information leaks out which hasn't come to fruition yet and everyone looks at me in awe, or pity, as I "guessed" right. For a time in high school I use to make stuff up on purpose which couldn't come true only to throw people off from my little blessing, but as the years get shorter I tend to care less about what others think of my goofy ass.
These days, it's easier to just shut up.
It's too bad alcohol isn't allowed in the movie theater. A little liquid courage and I'll start preaching about what's going to happen and be pulled out of the theater –again. It wouldn't be the first time someone's had to remove me from somewhere because I've imbibed a bit too much and ran my mouth. I've been pulled out of theaters for explaining the entirety of the movie and giving away the ending of a movie slated to come out in six months. I love performing the role; however, as with any act of attention, it gets old over time.
I let Hannah choose where to sit, since the theater is half-crowded to begin with and the local commercials are still playing before the main previews start. My preference is to sit right by the exit or as far back as possible against the back wall. As I've said before, I'm not fond of crowds. Something about the claustrophobia of being forced against another sweaty human who's stealing your air makes me want to sit outside and wave to all the other suckers walking into their sweaty doom. The benefit I have being over six-feet tall, is I have a slight advantage to get air above the rest of the normal sweaty mob. Being tall also means you are the first one spotted in a crowd and you can't ride a bicycle under low-lying tree branches, but I have no choice about the length I grew.
Hannah finds a spot and "we decide" to sit in the middle of the theater - eye level with the screen. (I used quotes since I don't have a say in the matter.) The theater our movie is playing has two separate sections cut in half by a flooring section where the disabled can watch the movie without having to sit in small seats and can move their wheelchairs without having to maneuver around others. Two things I notice right away: a good number of people already here and a small older gentleman in a wheelchair with a camouflage jacket staring at me with determined interest.
I, being the massive smart-ass I am, stare back.
Hannah looks at me after I didn't answer a question about something shown on the screen and follows my gaze with my staring match between G.I. Joe on wheels and me. I feel her stare burrowing into my cheek, so I break eye contact and turn to Hannah who starts to give me the "Not here, please?" lecture on how we don't go out and do anything nice since I'm always starting something with someone. I blame being cocky, she tells me I'm an ass and stands up to take her jacket off.
I settle down and reach for the drink on Hannah's now-soggy cardboard tray when I see the man stand up from the corner of my eye. The wheelchair rolling backwards across the room is what caught my curiosity first, however when I focused my attention back on the man, he pulled out a small silver gun from his jacket and pointed it at me while walking towards the exit, firing off a round every other step while walking for the door.
I jumped and grabbed Hannah to push her on the floor since I don't remember being at Hannah's funeral; however, the rest of the auditorium ran "calm and collected" to every possible exit in the building – climbing over each other and screaming as if they forgot their grade-school training. Facing her and grabbing her arms, I noticed her face disfigured and opened wide by the bullet wounds. Six, maybe seven bullets buried their lead payloads deep into her skull.
Thick blood poured out of the open holes in her face as gray matter mixed with dark red oxygen-rich blood pooled in the folds of her blouse and settled down between her cleavage, skull fragments and other material stuck to her hair and my arms. The man hit her square in the face multiple times, and going through my memory banks as I held her limp body against mine, I couldn't think of anyone dying in my arms at a movie theater. I couldn't remember being shot at, even though this is suburban Detroit; it's not as bad as movies make others believe. I looked down at myself and only saw Hannah's blood and brain matter covering my clothes and hands. I didn't feel as a bullet hit me, but with all the blood from Hannah, I couldn't be sure. By the time I turned to scream for help, three security guards – all with "security-guard" mustaches – surrounded us and started trying to separate me from Hannah while one called 911 on the phone. I didn't know movie theaters had armed security guards; at least not this many. I overheard one say something about medics on their way and two other security guards were looking for the shooter in the lobby. My head was spinning: I didn't see this happening. None of this does happen. Not ever. I've been over today and nothing of the sort even comes close. The movie was a sappy chick-flick. A different security guard told me to sit down and forced a bag in my face to breathe into. My hearing became muffled as if someone were cupping their hands over my ears and my vision collapsed into a deep black tunnel with no light.
The next thing I notice, a light fixture surrounds me with a rich, white light one sees in operating rooms at hospitals. I'm staring up at it in a haze. A giant purple and pink spotted octopus puts a mask over my mouth and tells me to breathe deeply while patting my head.
I'm sure I haven't seen this looking forward before, but my vision is foggy and those lights are damn bright. I'm certain I would remember something this traumatic. I'm also pretty sure the octopus had a nice rack and I'd put money on the fact that I've never seen an octopus with breasts before; future or past. I can't say I've ever seen an octopus...
Something is off and I'm staring down that dark tunnel again.
<<<<>>>>
"Two quarters saved his life."
"Imagine the luck this kid has."
"Any word on the shooter yet?"
"He should be waking up any time. His room is on FBI lock-down so no information goes in or out."
"Why would the FBI care about a shooting in a movie theater?"
"Word is the shooter wasn't human, not even close."
"Android?"
"Worse."
"Alien?"
"That's all I've heard at the moment."
"You mean to tell me an alien shot my girlfriend in the face in a movie theater?" I said, looking through lights again to find a face to focus on.
The doctor and nurse standing over me stopped talking and started checking vitals and IV's; as if I caught them in the act of sucking face over my body. These people looked human, although they did seem a bit odd. Something I couldn't put my finger on.
"How much did you hear, son?" The Doctor looked down at me, patting my arm.
The sting from his touch told me something was wrong, but I ignored it for the time being given the more interesting information I had eavesdropped.
"First thing was something about fifty cents saving my life. I don't assume you're talking about my insurance being cheap. . ."
The nurse giggled. I turned my head to find out how attractive the nurse was when a searing pain came from my spine – pain reminiscent of a severe burn. But she was still cute –thin with no chest at all. Not the big breasted octopus I met earlier.
"Don't try to move," the doctor said, putting his hands on my arm again, once again, the stinging came back, "you've been seriously injured and need time to recover."
"I've been seriously injured?" Twisting my neck to look at the Doctor was creating more pain than I could bear; "Hannah doesn't have a face anymore and..." the pain settled down once I did, "why the hell am I in so much pain? I didn't do anything or get shot. Did I?" My mind started racing and the nurse jumped at the sound of the EKG machine showing it's acceleration in my heartbeat.
"How long have you known Hannah?" The Doctor came close and whispered in my ear, the nurse bent down to hear as well.
"Hannah?" I thought for a moment before answering "A little over a month. We met through mutual friends at college."
"What's her last name?" The nurse whispered in my ear, I bent in pain enough to pretend to get closer to her words and catch a glimpse of her tan lace bra down the front of her gown. Well worth the physical anguish.
"No idea." I admitted, not caring enough about Hannah to get closer than a handful of random dates. "Since I never stay with anyone for very long, I try not to make lasting relationships and not knowing basic information is a great way to initiate a breakup."
"You try to break up with women on purpose?" The nurse asked, taken aback.
"Let's just say I know how the relationship will end." I winked at the nurse and my eyelid stung.
"Can someone tell me why my whole body is hurting?" The volume of my voice echoed throughout the room and the door opened while two men in black suit coats entered.
"Doctor, nurse," the shorter of the two men took off his hat and nodded at the hospital employees, "you may leave now. Thank you for all your help."
The Doctor and Nurse looked shocked to see the two men in suits and straightened their stance as they walked toward the door backwards.
"Let us know if there's anything we can do."
"We will, don't worry." He put his hat back on and said "we won't be staying long."
"What about me?" I said, looking up at the two men.
"We have some questions, if you can remember anything."
"I wish," I said trying to move my body, only to feel more agony, "can one of you tell me why I'm in so much pain?"
"On a scale from one to ten, one being lowest," the taller man asked, "how much pain would you say you're in?"
"When I lay here without moving, I'd put it at one. However, even blinking is stinging my skin, five or six when I'm moving."
"And that's with morphine, impressive tolerance, kid."
I bent around to look at the IV and winced in pain, "that's morphine? Why the hell am I on morphine?"
The shorter man held up something that resembled a metal acorn. "Can you tell me what this is and why it was in your pocket?"
"Can you bring it closer?
"Sure," the man scooted his chair closer and raised the metal acorn into the light so I could get a better view. "Can you see it better? I'd ask if you wanted to hold it, but, well, you know..."
"No, I don't know," I said, mad at the cynicism in his voice, "tell me why I can't hold it and I'll tell you what that is."
"You were badly burned."
"How is that possible? I was in a movie theater and someone in camouflage flipped out and opened fire on my girlfriend. There were no flames involved."
"Lift your hand and look for yourself."
It took all my strength to lift my left arm out from underneath the sheet and look at my skin. It had indeed been burned badly. Entire layers of skin were missing and the flesh looked old, grey and blue with visible arteries and veins drawn underneath.
"How..."
"That's why this is so important." The man held up the metal acorn again, "how did this save you from being disintegrated from the android?"
"You sure you have the right room, mister?" Even raising my eyebrows in my standard cocky demeanor stung "Those are two quarters."
"What. . ." he looked closer at the metal acorn.
"Look in the center and you'll see the words "In God We Trust" bent around the edges." I pointed over at the acorn. "You ever lay a nickel on train tracks? In the center is the lead tip from one of the bullets. Your observation skills aren't very good if the doctor and the nurse knew about the two quarters before you two did."
The eyes on the smaller man became wide with fear. "Say that again?"
"When I woke up I heard them talking about two quarters saving my life. I assume it was the two in your hand."
The shorter of the two stood up and nodded while the taller one drew his gun.
"What's going on?"
"We need to get you someplace safe, I'm certain these aliens are contaminating your body."
"Aliens? Contaminating? With what?"
"Great questions, kid, I hope we all live long enough to find out."
He ripped the IV from my wrist and held down on the wound to stop the bleeding. He pulled the sheets from me in a quick way as if he was attempting to pull a tablecloth out from underneath a proper table setting. The IV liquid pooled on the floor in a cloudy white pool which began to steam.
The pain from the man pushing on my wrist was unlike anything I had felt before.
"Tell me something, please, sir," I tried to sound as sincere as possible, which is difficult to do for a smart-ass, "how did I get so burned."
"Your girlfriend Haley..."
"Hannah," I interrupted him.
"Whatever, she was an android from this planet, and not one commissioned by the US Government, also not one here on legal terms with the FBI and FGO. When she was shot and started bleeding, it wasn't blood covering you; it was acidic oil which burns away at things except for latex and metal. It took most of your clothes and skin while you slept."
"FGO?"
"Federal Galactic Operations."
"Galactic?"
"Yeah," the taller one said, moving his cell phone away to give me a snotty sneer before adding, "Think Star Trek meets Border Patrol."
"Sounds like a horrible sitcom."
"It is," the shorter one said, "we're on an alien planet in a building designed to give you the impression you're still on Earth. The android you were with at the assassination attempt was the main target, not you. We don't know why these guys want you dead and we don't know how they know anything about you since we haven't heard about you since this morning." He took a breath before adding, "it's going to hurt like hell, but I need you to put on this mask so we can get you out of here safe and have you healed, and find out more information."
"Someone wants me dead?" I sat up quick, startled someone would want me dead. "Why would anyone want me dead? I haven't done anything."
"Save the dramatic questions for another time." He tossed the gas mask into my lap, "throw it on, bear with the pain, we'll be leaving shortly and I don't want to have to knock you out only to drag you out."
"Could I get some real morphine? It would help with the pain, and with me walking out of here naked." I could hear sounds of a helicopter blade cutting through the air nearby.
The shorter cop grabbed the IV bottle and looked at it. "This says morphine, but I don't believe they were pumping you full of pain killers." He opened the lapel of his jacket and pulled out a small pen, drawing a line against the top of the bag. In an instant, the bag disappeared and he looked over at me before looking around the room.
In the top shelf of the cupboard a bottle of hydrocodone lay open on the shelf. He took out his cell phone, took a picture of it, poured out a pill, took a picture of it also and once his phone beeped, he nodded, handing me four pills and grabbed my glass of water, throwing it against the wall. The wall behind me started to smolder in a heat-burn. He ran the tap, flicked his hand against it to make sure it was real water and poured me a new cup, forcing me to choke down all four of those huge white pills.
"I can't swallow pills." I said, looking up.
"Then chew the bastards, we're running out of time." The tall agent barked at me.
I threw all four in my mouth and tipped my head back, taking large gulps of water but having no luck with anything other than gagging.
"Chew em."
"Is it safe?"
"You are being poisoned on an alien planet by people posing as humans while you survived multiple attempts on your life and you want to know if it's safe to chew four tiny pills."
"Calm down, Norm. He's scared." The tall agent said to the smaller one I now know is Norm.
"We're not on Earth?" I looked over at the tall agent who nodded.
Norm grew angry, "Chew them or I put them into your body another way. You want pain relief, chew the damn pills."
I chewed the pills. While I chewed the pills I imagined small pieces of chalk being forced into my mouth by bullies. Norm pulled a flask out of his coat and said "do you need something stronger to wash those down?"
I reached for the flask and heard the taller agent give the command to gas the hospital.
The tall agent adjusted the strap on my gas mask while telling Norm "The transport's on the roof - ready when you are."
<<<<>>>>
I'm convinced this is a dream.
I can't see or feel anything in this darkness, only mush.
Come to think of it, I don't know where I am, what's going on anymore and what's going to happen.
It's an odd feeling when you've been the one who always knew what was going to happen and no longer can. It's as if my entire view of the world is wrong. And the universe...wow. Earth isn't alone in the universe. I didn't know that.
I feel like I'm in a bath filled with oatmeal. Maybe it tastes like oatmeal?
"Blarg - spit."
"Nope, it's not oatmeal."
Ooh, I echo.
"Hello."
Okay, let me get a handle on what's going on: Hannah is – sorry, was, an android with acid blood and someone shot at me and her to try to kill me. Most of my skin is gone due to her acidic oils and the GFO or PGA or whatever they're called - the Galactic police are trying to get me someplace safe from where I was first taken after the shooting which was a hospital on an alien planet where they poisoned me.
Sure as hell beats sitting in Psychology 102.
I'm more curious why I didn't know this. I've always been able to see the future, why didn't I see this?
"Are you better?" Someone with a female voice yelled from above me.
"What?" This echo is impressive, it seems to never end.
"I said are you better yet?" Same voice, same direction, now in more of an agitated tone.
"Better how?"
"Subject fine."
I looked up to see a small orange light at the top of wherever I was sitting. I felt the bottom of the tub start to vibrate, moving upwards and looked to see the light grow closer. I felt my skin and noticed it no longer stung when touched, not sure if it was the vicodin I chewed on back at the hospital or this tub of crap I'm floating around in.
"How do you feel?" The voice came from somewhere outside of the tunnel.
"Not in pain." I peeked around to try to find the source of the voice. "Is the vicodin I chewed back at the hospital kicking in?"
The bottom of the tub moved until it was flush with the flooring and all the gooey green stuff I was sitting in poured out and down into drains around the opening. I looked down at myself and saw smooth white flesh and ran my hand down my arm and leg, feeling the fresh, taut skin.
I moved and realized I'm naked after my sack pressed against the bottom of the metal tub.
My eyes adjusted to the lighting and I saw I was in some form of hospital room, again. I still couldn't find the female who was asking me questions earlier.
"Hello?"
"Hi there, do you feel better?" A computer arm sprang to life and spun around my head, scanning or probing or whatever it wanted to do.
"You seem normal." The woman's voice seemed disappointed. It was also coming from a display next to the end of the scanning arm.
"I feel pretty good, even though I'm naked."
"Naked definition please."
"I'm naked."
"Naked definition please." The female voice repeated. Maybe she didn't know what naked meant.
"I'm missing an outer layer of clothing which humans on Earth wear to prevent other humans from viewing our private parts."
"Private parts definition please."
This is already annoying. "Private parts of a human are the sexual and reproductive external organs. Other humans don't wish to view them all the time, so we wear clothes."
"Human records and strange Earth information updated. How does your penis feel?"
I reached down and grabbed myself. "Bonus, still there."
"Good. You are above average humanoid size, requested clothing being prepared according to estimates."
"You're going to make me clothes?"
"Of course, what else would I do to a naked man standing in a woman's room?"
"You're a woman?"
"According to my records, I am to interact with humans in this vocal tone." She said these words with much disdain for them, almost if she didn't want to admit it herself.
"A female computer A.I.," I said, looking over the apparatus, "very nice curves if I'm allowed to say so."
"Thank you, Michael Addams."
The doors behind me opened to show the two agents who visited me in the hospital and both turned their back on me when they realized I was still naked.
"Delores," Norm said, "Can we have some clothes for Mr. Addams?"
"Already on it, Agent Johansson," she almost giggled before adding, "He likes my curves."
"You do have amazing curves, Delores." The taller agent added.
"Try some of these, Michael," Delores sent a trail of random clothing shooting out of a hatch near the top of the display panels on the back wall to form a pile in front of me.
I grabbed some underwear, not too tight, mismatched socks since I don't care - a blue t-shirt and a pair of stonewashed black blue-jeans straight out of the early 1980's.
"Hey Delores," I said, modeling off the choice, "How do I look?"
"Look definition please." Delores said.
"Never mind," I added. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"
"Let's take a walk and we can chat someplace more private."
"Fine by me," I jumped over the rest of the clothing after the two agents out of the door. "I didn't get your name," I stuck my hand out, hoping the tall man would take it and shake it, "but I know your partner's name is Norm Johansson."
"I don't intend on giving you my name." The tall agent growled down at me.
"Why not?"
"We won't be with you long enough for it to matter."
"I thought we were going to talk?"
"We are going to ask questions," he said through a sigh, "you are going to talk."
"Hey Norm," I said, pushing his arm, "no sense of humor, eh?"
"We're not allowed to have one." Norm said.
"Swell. When does the fun begin?"
"When we go back to Earth. There's a chance we could be attacked or the audio intercepted while out here in orbit."
"Can I see the Earth from space?"
"What, are you a little kid?"
"Kinda."
"No. Just follow us to the Trans room and we can get back to the surface."
"Trans room definition?" I asked?
"It's short for transportation or transporter. We call it the Trans room. I think you spent too much time with Delores." Norm added.
"I had a great time, hey how did you grow all my skin back?"
"You've been in Delores's re-growth chamber for two weeks now." The taller agent said. "Your skin and muscle tissues are complete and back to normal function."
"Is it bad if I ate some of it?"
They both stopped and looked at me like a kitten was crawling out of my nostril.
"I thought it was an oatmeal bath."
They kept looking.
"Sigh. Never mind."
"How much did you ingest?" Norm asked.
"None," I replied, "I spit it back out since it tasted like crap."
"It is crap." The tall one smiled. "And you ate it." He started laughing so hard he had to sit down. At least his sense of humor wasn't gone out of him; you just need to know how to eat crap."
Norm added with a smile, "and to make matters worse, it'll give you bad flatulence episodes."
"Flatulence episodes?" I asked, "Farts?"
The tall agent was having trouble catching his breath. "Yes, farts." Norm said, pulling up his partner who was still snorting and giggling over my new-found eating habits.
"Who do you guys work for?" I asked as we walked, "The government?"
"A power much higher than any government on Earth, but we work with governments on many planets." The tall agent said while trying to compose himself.
"I take it this is the Trans room." I said, unimpressed.
"What gave it away," Norm asked, "the giant sign on the door which says "Trans Room" or the fact there's nowhere else to go down this hallway?"
"Why would someone want me dead?" My ADD kicks in when it wants, I can't help it.
"We'll discuss it on Earth."
"Fine."
The Trans room itself was unimpressive. A handful of translucent monitors facing a stage similar to something one would see on any space program on television. The impressive part came from the giant glass dome over the room which showed the stars, moon and other items proving we were orbiting earth as a satellite. Norm pushed my shoulder, forcing me forward to the stage.
On the stage platform itself, small squares lit up with footprint outlines on the flooring. I stepped into the first one and felt a strange sensation: like falling off a cliff in a dream. I looked around and saw I was standing next to my car in the parking lot of the theater Hannah and I were at when all this nonsense started.
I turned around to open the car door and the two agents were standing on each side of me.
"Now we talk."
"In a parking lot?" I asked, lifting my cocky eyebrow.
"No chance of interception."
"Fair enough. What can I answer for you?"
"Why does anyone on a Galactic level want you killed?"
"I want to know the same answer." I said, moving to sit on the curb next to my car.
"Do you have any special powers no other humans have?" The tall agent looked at me.
"I can see the future," I admitted. I looked up to expressionless faces and sighed. "See the old woman across the parking lot by the furniture store? She's going to take her purse and look for her keys and while she searches, her cart filled with a bed frame will run into an oncoming blue pickup truck."
The agents turned around. "Where's the woman?"
"She's walking out of the furniture store."
"Oh. If what you say is true, I know why you can't be on earth."
"Why?"
"I want to see this first."
The old woman pushed her cart to her big Mercury Mountaineer a hundred feet away from the store doors and grabbed her purse. The cart started, slow at first, but picked up speed on the damp asphalt back towards the store. At the last second, a bright blue Ford Ranger drove by, causing the cart to crash into the back quarter-panel of the truck and splatter the contents of the cart across the threshold of the store.
"Get up," the tall agent said. "We need to speak with the Fates. Now."
"The who?" I asked, hoping it wasn't anything bad.
"Fates," Norm said, grabbing my shirt and pulling, "We have to trans back."
<<<<>>>>
"We need you on your absolute best behavior, please." Norm said, looking over at me as we stepped on a glass platform which looked out over a bright ocean of orange water hundreds of miles below us.
"The fates don't like to waste time," the taller agent who won't tell me his name said, "and to be honest, I don't either."
"So what are we waiting for, gentlemen?"
I watched the taller agent's shoulders slump as we walked forward through a gigantic detailed crystal-sculpted archway into a darkened chamber.
The architecture of the building was massive in comparison to anything seen on Earth. The ceiling is at least five stories above me with water colored or stained-glass as light shined through the cross-hatched pattern of glass blocks to give a kaleidoscope effect throughout the main level. "Breathtaking" is the only word I can think of to describe how amazing the colors danced through the sunlight on the floor and walls around us.
Norm took my arm and led me to the center of the room, where an inlaid metal embossing seal stamped into the floor showed the outline with a strange ethereal light.
As soon as the last foot stepped on the embossing, we dropped from the floor without any ill effects one would expect from such an event. No stomach turning upside down or feeling of being sick at all. The orange sea beneath us grew closer as I saw the waters part and open for our arrival. Hundreds of feet of water zipped past us as we descended into the ocean and soon to the ocean floor. Above us, the orange waters reattached themselves as if we were nothing more than a diver splashing into a pool.
At the bottom of the ocean, our platform settled next to another large archway, this one created from bright white marble unaffected by some force field. As we stepped on the sandy sea floor, the doors opened by instinct, inviting us into another dark chamber - this one much darker and dank with the musk of sea-life surrounding us.
"Let me guess, one more trip somewhere and we'll be there?"
The agents said nothing.
"Guys?"
Norm smacked my arm and I noticed they were bowing their heads as if in silent prayer.
"Do we have to pray to get to the next section?"
"You talk too much." A feminine voice from above echoed throughout the room.
I looked up to see a green pair of beautiful female eyes staring down at me in a stern way – the way a mother would stare at her child for doing something foolish.
"S-s-sorry ma'am," I mumbled, "it won't happen again."
"Of course it will." This time a male voice from above on the right hand side spoke, "I know what you're going to say already."
I looked up to my right to set a fatherly set of brown eyes looking down at us.
My instinct told me to look to my left, and as I did, a blue pair of female eyes blinked at me.
These three beings, Fates I think Norm called them, were giants. A full-grown adult would be as tall as their toenail.
I, of course, stepped out in front of the agents first. "Hi there, I'm Mike. These two guys brought me here because I'm not safe on Earth."
The blue-eyed blond knelt, almost to the point where I could see down her toga top, and held out her hand. Not thinking I climbed into her palm.
She raised her hand and put me eye level with herself and spoke in a quiet tone, since I'm pretty sure if she yelled, my head would explode. "Hello Michael Addams, my name is Trinity, I am the Fate of all which has passed in time, and you are an oddity in the universe we were not aware of until this morning. Given the fact we know all of history, are you indeed a rare and unique individual."
"Tell me about it, Trin," I said, sitting down in her hand, "One day I'm a mild-mannered college student, the next I'm a target in a galactic drive-by."
"You don't know the half of it." Trinity whispered, "you are unique, for all of your thoughts come to life."
"Wait... did you say all my thoughts come true?"
"Indeed I did."
"So I don't know the future, I create it?"
"Indeed you do."
"How does that work?"
The brown-eyed giant moved closer to Trinity's hand, "We were hoping you could tell us. I'm the Fate of Future times; you may call me Zelig, while our silent sister is the Fate of Current times."
"And do I dare ask her name, if it is as beautiful as she..."
"Felicity." She said without blinking at me.
"Nailed it."
Trinity spoke first: "Do you know how you managed to come into possession of such a powerful gift?"
"Nope. I was born this way. I could always tell what was about to happen."
"What about in High School when you tried to make the ridiculous happen?"
"Hey, that's true. None of my made up stuff ever came true. You sure I can't see the future and that's all?"
Felicity spoke in a light, motherly tone: "No. You never believed those were real. The rest of time itself, you believe is going to happen. You even proved it to our agents back on Earth. We would like to know how you can change current and future history by believing it true."
"You have a powerful gift," Zelig spoke again, "one which could be used for evil if taken into the wrong hands."
"So if I believe something will happen, it will?"
"Yes," Trinity replied, her giant beautiful green eyes staring down at me, "in a task as simple as looking down my dress to taking over entire worlds."
I felt myself blush.
"Which is why we must destroy you," Felicity added.
"Wait," I tried to think for something but this time, my mind blanked out.
"Yes, human?" Felicity said, looking mad.
"I left the coffee pot on... I mean..." I thought of something, someplace I'd rather be, anywhere but in the hand of a giant gorgeous woman who wanted me dead and could squish me as easy as a spider walking into the wrong bathroom at the wrong time and closed my eyes. . .
I opened my eyes and was sitting in my own bathroom.
"Ha! I did it!"
"Took you long enough, at least wash your hands." I heard my sister's muffled voice from beyond the bathroom door.
I opened the bathroom door and ran out to see Noel sitting on the couch watching some strange Science Fiction show on television and gave her a hug.
"Hey, perv," She pushed me away with a frown, "I don't know where those hands have been."
"Turn the TV off; I have a serious question to ask you."
"No, you can't get pregnant from spanking your monkey."
"Not that. But thanks for the strange mental image. I'll go tell your toys in your sock drawer the information."
She opened her eyes wide. "Stay the hell out of my room."
"Fine, just answer me a question and do it somewhat quick: Can you, no... Do you have any ability no one else does? Can you see the future or remember the past or anything?"
"I have a memory where I remember everything I've done."
"You do? I mean, you can remember things in great detail down to sounds and smells?"
"Yes, it's called an eidellic memory. Why do you ask?"
"Prove it."
"When you were two years old, at my 10th birthday party on December 18th and you pooped in the corner of the living room because you saw the cat doing it and you blamed my friend Theresa who went through the rest of school as Cat-Turd Terry."
"That doesn't mean you have an eidellic memory, Noel..."
"It was on a Friday night at 8:33pm, and the smell of your poop overpowered the smell of the fried chicken and mashed potatoes - my favorite dinner, mom made. You had to take a bath and afterward you squirmed out of mom's arms and ran through my party naked leaving wet footprints around the house."
"Okay you win. One more thing, do you know if ... never mind."
I kissed Noel on the cheek and ran out the back door, realizing I had just kissed my sister on the cheek.
"There he is!"
Crap, Norm and the tall guy found me.
Gunshots rang out from their side of the driveway as I ducked behind my mom's dead Dodge Dart.
"You go around one side; I'll go around the other." I heard them say to each other.
And I'll slide underneath the mighty Dodge.
I crawled out from the back bumper of the Dodge to the business end of a Beretta 45 in my temple. I looked up and saw more men in black suits pulling Noel out of the house.
"Let her go and you can have me."
"We have orders to bring both of you back to the Fates."
"Crap."
What can I do? They have me and my sister. No one else in our family is alive other than Grandma. She's a thousand years old and lives on an Indian Reservation somewhere down south.
We transed back to the Fates' huge cavern and I sat on the stone floor, trying to shimmy closer to Noel to bring her up to speed, but a giant foot slamming down a mere feet in front of me stopped any more movement.
"What do you want?" I yelled from the floor.
"We must have you dead to keep order and peace between all the worlds in the Universe. You and your sister are the ones preventing us from doing such. Your powers in the wrong hands are something we cannot have happen and will need to learn control. The only way to control human nature and the thoughts you have is to destroy you."
"There's no way we can live and you can keep with the peace and order business?"
"Not if you keep changing the time-line." Zelig looked down at Noel, "And what gift were you blessed with, my child?"
"I can remember everything I've done." Noel said, "Nothing too earth shattering like my moron brother here."
"Yes," Trinity said, looking down on Noel, "but your thoughts can change memories, can't they?"
"I don't know what you're talking about..." Noel stared at her feet.
"What about Todd? He never kissed you by the fields behind school, but your mind changed the memory which changed what happened in reality - he did kiss you after school by the fields."
"He did?" Noel's cheeks turned red.
"Before the time-line becomes more damaged," Felicity said, "We require control."
I looked over at Noel who was looking back at me with fear in her eyes.
"The only way you can have control is to have us destroyed?" I looked up at Trinity, "That doesn't seem fair."
"We keep the time-line secure," Zelig said, looking down at us with sadness in his eyes and what could be interpreted as sympathy, "we do what we must."
I grabbed Noel's hand and looked into her scared eyes.
"Sorry."
<<<<>>>>
"Let me get this straight," I said over my shoulder to the tall agent pulling me by the shirt down a dank hallway while a crying Noel cuddled in Norm's arms, "You two have to kill us, even after you saved me?"
"I'm afraid so."
"And how do you plan on doing the deed, so to speak?"
"The way we always do."
"...Which is...?"
"Throw you into the center of the Earth."
Noel looked at me and mouthed "this is your fault" before starting to cry again.
"Can we make a deal or something?"
"You can't make a deal with the fates."
"I want to make a deal with anyone who will make a deal with us."
Norm laughed.
"The Fates are absolute; they don't make deals," the tall one spoke in a hushed tone and looked back at Norm, "But we will."
"Great!" I stood up quick and said "how do we do this?"
Noel ran over behind me, the agents flanked each side so we couldn't run.
"We want you to come with us to the Groman home planet, since they're the ones that put a one-billion credit on your head." The tall man smiled at me.
Norm added "they may give us more when we tell them we found the past human seer as well."
"Well okay," I said, looking around, "let's go!"
"That's the issue," Norm said, stepping closer, "we can't walk out of here with you; we need you to Trans us to their planet."
"You want me to warp everyone to a place I've never seen before?" I looked at the two agents and added "how is that possible?"
"You believe a door in the tunnel is a way to their planet," Norm said, "we walk though, turn you over and go on our way."
"What will they do with us?" Noel asked.
"We don't know how they found out about you to begin with," the tall one said, "so I'm not sure what they have planned. They're a religious race to begin with; maybe they want to know when their God is coming back or something based on their beliefs."
"And the Fates will believe us dead or will they know what happened?"
"We'll be hunted," Norm said, "which is why we'll need the credits to survive."
"No other plan?" I asked.
"Not unless you have a plan, no."
I could feel Noel's hands shaking as she hid behind me. I had to think quickly before the agents decide to change their minds.
"We'll do it." I felt Noel jump at my words.
"You're insane." She whispered at the back of my shoulder.
"Make the door and we'll be on our way." Norm said.
"Okay, time to tempt the fates."
We walked down a bit further where a wooden door jutted into the wall itself.
Norm opened it and I walked through.
The tall agent pushed Noel through the door as they walked and drew their guns.
"We need to get to the main citadel hall, that's where the leaders sit." Norm said, pointing his gun at me. "It's deep into the center of the main city and we'll have to escort you to the Prince himself.
"Shall I walk in with my hands held high or would you rather I do something else?"
"Just do what they say and let's figure something out later." Noel whispered to me as I raised my hands like a convict.
This world we walked on to was beautiful. The door dropped us on the outskirts of town and a lush forest of blue tipped trees cascaded behind us as giant white stone walls covered the perimeter of the city itself. The front gates reminded me of the a movie in the middle-dark ages with large planks of dusty wood held up with iron and chains latched to wooden spindles on the aged stone walls.
"You say these guys are religious?" I asked anyone who wanted to answer.
"Very religious," Norm said, "they even built their city based off a design in what they believe is their holy book."
"Looks like Jericho." Noel said staring up at the houses built on top of the 50-foot stone walls. "Do we march around it before the walls fall?"
"What are you talking about?" The tall agent asked in haste.
"The Bible," Noel said, turning around and walking backwards so she could speak to him, "we have it on Earth. Jericho is a city in the Bible."
He laughed before saying "You're a long way from Earth, honey."
Norm pounded on the wooden door and watched the dust glitter from the top of the door and fall in front of him.
"Who is it?" A gruff voice screamed from behind the door.
"Black agents of the Fates," Norm screamed back, "We have your Michael Addams in custody."
The old wooden door dissipated in front of their eyes to show teams of formal-dressed police all pointing weapons at whoever was on the other side.
Mike noticed they were octopuses. He remembered something about an octopus...
Noel screamed and ran behind the tall agent.
"Bring them in and we'll escort you to the Founders Hall," one of the police octopuses said.
The tall agent picked up Noel while Norm pushed his gun in my back, forcing me to move forward into the city. For an ancient looking exterior, the interior of the city was advanced with amazing technology like small teleport pads to move octopus between locations and fancy businesses selling expensive-looking eight-legged suits. For first impressions, Groman looked like a smaller New York City bustling with activity. And we were clowns in human suits drawing attention from every direction.
The Citadel or "Founders Hall" is a smaller, older building in the center of the city and walking to it took over an hour even with the police escort. I waved and made my usual comments when a crowd gathers because of me:
"Show me your boobs!"
"Call me and bring your mother!"
"This is my posse. I'm LOADED baby!"
A few of my comments had Norm chuckling, however Noel clung to the tall agent with her eyes wide with fear.
Ironic, since I hate being in a crowd, but I love being the smart-ass leading the crowd into a frenzy.
I felt bad for Noel. Ever since mom died, it's only been us. Our cat even ran away. I haven't been the best of brothers, but we argue and get on like most brothers and sisters. Christmas and birthdays are usually us eating by ourselves unless we get invited by friends someplace. Noel is all I have and I'm all she has. As much as we torture each other, I don't know what I would do without her. Therefore, It's my job to make sure she stays with me.
I looked back behind me to see Noel and the tall agent no longer behind me. My breathing stopped for a second as he carried her down a side street we weren't going. Along with them, a mob of people followed.
"Norm."
"What's up?"
"Where's tree trunk taking her?"
"I'm going to deliver you first and then he'll bring her in and ask for double the credits."
"Promise? I can't lose my sister."
"She's fine."
Somehow, I didn't believe him.
As we passed another intersection, I lost sight of the mob following Noel, I took a quick glance over at Norm who was holding his gun, but his finger was off the trigger and it swung by his side. A distraction was all I needed.
Protesters on the opposite side of the street with signs written in a strange language were throwing rocks and yelling at the police force marching us to the center of town. As soon as Norm glanced over at the protesters, I ducked into the crowd.
One problem: I'm human in a city filled with octopus. My plan of "blending in" soon changed into a plan of "hide and find Noel." Second problem: I have only two legs while the Police octopuses have eight and can run faster than most humans drive cars. Third problem: the two agents who were going to kill me and Noel have guns and possession of my sister.
"Strike three." I said out loud to no one in particular while running through an alien city filled with, well, octopus aliens.
"Michael!" Someone from the left side of the street yelled over the mob. "Come here! Quick!"
I turned while still ducking between bodies to attempt to find the source of the voice. An arm (it could have been a tentacle, I'll admit I wasn't paying attention) pulled me out of the crowd and into a darkened storefront. I turned around to see a purple and pink spotted octopus bandaged from serious wounds but smiling to see me.
"I...."
"I know who you are, I know why you're here, and I know the guys who brought you here can't be trusted." She said.
"You're the one who...You're the nurse with the nice boobs!"
"You remember me?"
"When you have a set as nice as yours, it's hard for a guy to forget." Still unsure how I knew she had breasts since she was an octopus.
"Thanks, Michael." She said, almost blushing, I think, before adding: "Those men who brought you and the other one here are the ones who shot down our rescue ship."
I had to sit down. Too much information and my head hurt.
"Why did they shoot down your ship, why did you rescue me and why is there a bounty on my head of a billion dollars or credits or whatever?"
"When the assassin took out the android that targeted you, we flew to bring you back here."
"She was sent to kill me?"
"Of course, that's what she's designed to do. The problem being..."
"I know, I know it was my good looks and charm that won her over..."
She laughed and finished her thought, "Not quite, she started malfunctioning due to the moisture in Earth's atmosphere. Robots don't work well in water. A month or two and their reporting functions spot responding so whoever sent the android to find you couldn't find their android."
"So how did you find me?"
"When the assassination took place, it was news on every channel in the Universe. After a quick review of who you are and what you can do, the Prince ordered we attempt to rescue you before the ones who tried to kill you get another chance. The Black Agents shot down our rescue ship right as we hit our sector in space."
"And what is your name, my dear?"
"My name roughly translates to Michelle in English."
"So tell me, Michelle in English, why are you helping me now?"
"I'm a trained nurse," she held up her bandages, "but due to the crash landing I'm recuperating - reading and wondering how you were doing or if you were even still alive. For a human, you're kind of cute."
"And as I said before, I think you're gorgeous, but you're an octopus and one of those Black Agents out there has my sister. Before we go get cozy and break open the wine, I need to find her and make sure she's safe."
"Follow me."
Underneath the storefront, a grate opened up into the sewer system through the basement. "I think I might know where they're taking her, but be quiet anyway."
"Lead the way, Michelle! By the way, you have a nice...tentacle region as well."
"You can stop trying to flatter me, Mike, we're about to go underwater where most of my kind live. You'll have to use me to get your air to stay underwater for any amount of time so prepare for me to kiss you."
"Now you're talking my language!"
<<<<>>>>
I hung on for dear life as Michelle swam towards unseen and uncharted areas flipping my senses of direction. To put it another way: I was lost, hanging on to an octopus to try to find my sister in an amphibious world filled with octopuses.
Underground, in the waters underneath the city, octopus swam by the millions. It was a sight to behold. I'm glad I had one attached to me who knew where to go since I would have been a bloated floater after a few minutes.
Michelle also knew how to keep air in my mouth, but I'm not sure how she obtained air to give me. Every so often, I'd pull on the tentacle I was assigned and she would turn around, wrap herself around my head and blow bubbles into my face. I would exhale and inhale her oxygen, which seemed to work well. Soon, we swam to a darker area of the sewer system and soon moved above water to a dusty and unused area.
"These are the ancient tunnels underneath the citadel itself where all of our previous leaders' tombs rest. This is holy ground to all Gromanians."
"Don't touch anything. Got it."
"Follow me, hon, and let's hope my suspicions aren't correct."
She scrambled up the crumbling and cobweb covered stairwells into dungeons, past old holding cells and prison blocks. This was an old castle of some sort with torture devices rusting away in ancient chambers of prison holding cells. A slight chill ran up my spine with the memories which occurred here so many years before to the people of this city under a religious regime. It reminded me of the Vatican or better yet, the constant fighting between Israel and everyone surrounding them.
"Are you sure you know where you're going?"
"No, but there only seems one way to go: up." Michelle spun back around and added: "you aren't nervous, are you?"
"I've been nervous ever since I sat in a movie theater on Earth. This is a strange dream no matter how many times I pinch myself, I can't seem to wake up from."
Michelle took one of her tentacles and with her suction cup, popped a hickey on my left arm and left a mark.
"I like how you do that," my cockiness coming back, "maybe later I can get naked and you can show me how the magic happens."
If an octopus could roll her eyes, she did.
We kept climbing stairwell after stairwell until another sewer-grate blocked our way any further. Above us, I heard voices telling them what to do with Noel.
"Keep her alive until we have the male, and once we extract his brain and put it into an android we can control, kill them both."
"Well," I said whispering to Michelle, "at least I know what they want to do with us."
"I have a plan," she said, her big eyes blinking back at me, "but it might be suicidal."
"As opposed to...the android with my brain?"
"True, but this might be worse than the android."
"How?"
"Hear me out." Michelle moved down a few steps from the grate and sat down, one her tentacles rubbing my leg.
"You have my attention if you keep rubbing."
"Sorry, bad habit," she admitted, "we show up, you give yourself up in your cocky-type manner you're such an expert in, and while everyone's distracted, I'll grab your sister and bring her back here."
"That doesn't help my case out of being dissected."
"I have friends that are looking for just the right time to lay attack on the prince in charge and overturn his regime of religious nonsense. Let my kind fight the war we've been planning for years and you and your sister can escape."
"As much as I'd love to overthrow a religious dictator on another planet, I'm afraid I'll just be hunted down again, this time by the Fates for betraying their commandments."
"Well, what if you and your sister turned in the Black Agents for going against them?"
"I still think they'd kill us for our powers."
"I see."
I could tell Michelle was back into deep thought since she started rubbing my leg with her tentacle again.
"If there was only a way I could get you back to Earth..."
"I can get us back to Earth, that's not the issue."
"How?"
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