Free Sony EBooks: Free ebook sample of "Spiritual Awakening September 2011" by Ann Marie Aguilar

FOREWORD 2

Making a difference without leaving the house 4

How to make emotions work for us 5

Who are you? Why are you here? 7

Trust your intuition 9

Dancing by myself 10

Book Reading and Cooking some food 12

I long for you 14

Zen Saturday: Heavy Rain 16

A day in the Wilderness 18

Why you don't have what you want? 20

New Life and a New You 21

Difficult Times 22

Healing and Recovery 23

If you have to then do it 25

Counting your blessings 26

Truth about life 27

Coffee 28

Bright Monday Morning 29

Hopeless and helpless 30

Sinking into the gloomy side 32

Saturday Zen September 3, 2011 34

Spiritual Awakening 36

Night Anxiety 37

Power out: Short circuit 38

About the Author 39

Making a difference without leaving the house

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Feeling useless? Feeling isolated? Alone? Living by yourself? Do you want to make a difference even if you can't get out of the house or don't want to leave the house?

You can still touch other people's lives. How? Make a list that anyone who knocks at your door, like the mail man, messenger, annoying neighbors, You can still touch their lives by praying for them without them knowing it. Try not to be impolite. Be tolerant if you can, be patient if you can. Be understanding if you can.

Even those people you know on facebook, chat rooms, online games, e-mail friends. Friends online, you can help them on someone way, if you know how to edit photos or web sites, you can help them, or maybe they need you to read their written works and make book reviews. You can help them.

If they have troubles or worries and needed someone to share it with, you can help them by replying to them or read their e-mails. You can also pray for them.

So you think, you can't do anything, just because you can't go anywhere. The contrary, there are things you can still do.

***

How to make emotions work for us

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

We are created with emotions. It is part of us. We must acknowledge our emotions not suppressed them. We shouldn't ignore our emotions. We ignore or suppressed them we'll go insane cause a lot of problems.

We need to let it out. Share it with someone who troubled you. Settle the issue. If you can't speak with the person who gave you trouble, speak with someone who is willing to listen and understand you.

You can even write how you feel on your blog, your notes on facebook, twit if you have twitter account, send an e-mail to a friend. Don't keep it inside. You don't want to explode causing mental illness, emotional or physical illness.

For those who are religious or believes in God, share how you feel with God. Cry out to God. He will give you rest.

Good emotions consists of faith, hope and love.

How do we heal bad emotions? How do we heal painful memories?

Past memories hurts us, scarred us. It is either we blame others, God, our selves or on circumstances. We say "Forgiving is not easy when we are hurting."

It is because we thought we are not worth forgiving and others are not worth forgiving either. We need someone to blame. It is either we look at ourselves so high or so low.

We don't understand why bad things happened. We feel better when we blame someone. We reject what had happen rather than moving on and healing our emotions.

We like to be in control of our emotions. We fear of getting hurt and being betrayed.

Acceptance is important. If things had happened that can't be change all we can do is accept it, let it go, learn from that experience. The longer we dwell on it, the longer we will suffer.

If you think others don't understand, you'll be surprised that they do.

You're anger and upset, you feel violated at times. You loss something or someone. Whether we like or not. Accept it or not, it already happened. What will set us free is forgiveness and acceptance.

"Injustice!" You say. You ask, "Would the crimes committed will go with out being punished?" Of course not! Acceptance and forgiveness is not for the criminal it is for you to heal and have a life. Prayer is important, let it out to the heavens. Let God hear your cry. He will not let the wicked go without being punish.

We all been through different experiences but the effect are the same "pain, sorrow, sufferings, depression, insanity, anxiety, bitterness, anger and a broken heart."

You have a choice. Would you choose to have faith, love, hope, peace, forgiveness or fear, hatred, anger, revenge and curse someone?

It is up to you.

***

Who are you? Why are you here?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A burning question that keep us asking. Some would state their jobs, gender, wealth, civil status, and their names.

Who are we?

We are a unique individuals born with God given talent. Like if you have musical talents, artistic talents, good at public speaking, good at handy crafts, cooking, designing houses, clothes. You could either be introvert or extrovert and even in between. You are a person with worth and value in God's eyes.

Though we can not choose our parents, siblings and relatives. But we can choose how to react. We can even choose our personality, thoughts, actions. We can choose to be bitter, angry, vengeful, withdrawn, indifferent, stubborn, be a rebel, villain.

Or we can choose to be a person with faith, love, supportive, with hope, accepting, hopeful, prayerful, tolerant, a person who is willing to let go of the past and be forgiving.

We can decide what role in life we want to be. We can not say "I am because you made me or I was born with it." The contrary, we always have a choice. You might ask about birth defects, accidents that made you cripple or circumstances that damage us emotionally and spiritually and maybe victim of a crime.

It is up to us if we choose to accept that it happened or reject, be bitter and dwell on your pain. Or you can let it go, forgive but not forget. We learn from our pains and we don't allow it to happen with others and if it does, we are there to help them out when no one else did with us.

We are all have different painful experiences but all leads to pain, sufferings, depression or misery. What makes the difference, is how we react, how we handle it. Are we open for change? Are we willing to forgive others and forgive ourselves?

Is wicked left unpunished?

We become the things we think we are because what people say, do to us. We even let circumstances and our emotions drives us. We also let television, movies influence us on how we think.

We ask again, "Who am I? Why am I here?"

You are here as a gift from the heavens and what you become is a gift for heaven.

We can not avoid bad things that will happen, it is part of life. We have no control on other people's action, thoughts, words and in their hearts but we can control our thoughts, let our emotions work for us.

We are here to love, pray, support, help one another if you choose to.

You decide, what role will take? Do you want to be happy or do you want to be miserable and make other people's lives miserable like yours?

***

Trust your intuition

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Trust your intuition even people say do it. Even if you get into an argument, even if they say you're a pessimist. Don't waste time doing something that you feel, it is not worth doing.

Don't you hate it when you're right and people you love are wrong. They say "At least you tried." If people don't believe your intuition, it is not your fault.

You feet soar, you smell like the afternoon sun and smell like smog. You prepared for everything. You practice what to say but you know it is not worth the effort because you had a bad feeling it is not what it seems.

You missed your favorite soap opera, you missed your favorite noon time show, now you have a bit of a headache, soar feet.

But hey! You get to get out of the house, ride a electric train, see the city with smog. Encounter annoying passenger who leans against the bar of the train and doing public display of affection: hugging and smooching or something.

You probably encounter cute cats along the way, eat some moon cakes, drink your coke zero in can, you get to exercise your feet, you get to sweat, dress up, put on some make up. Maybe see some lovebirds and cute bunnies being sold by vendors.

And yeah, your feet is still soar and you still have a bit of a headache.

***

Dancing by myself

Monday, September 19, 2011

I watched television

Two hours later

I felt bored

I got off the bed

I turned off the television

I hang my mp3 around my neck

I put on my ear phones

Turn on some music

I dance

I look at myself on the mirror

I watch myself dance

Smiling

Grinning

Swirling

Shaking the hips

To the left

To the right

I turn around

I see my shadow

Dancing along with me

As I sway to the left

My tied hair bounces to the left

My soft

My silky

Black hair

I dance with my shadow

Dancing by myself

As I think of you

As if you are here with me

Thirty minutes passes by

I stop

Sweating

I turn off the music

I remove my ear phones

I remove my mp3 player

Put it in a black pouch

I open my door

and walk out

***

Book Reading and Cooking some food

Monday, September 19, 2011

One in the afternoon

I awake

I am alone

Should I eat?

Should I not?

I sit in front of the computer

There's no connection

I open the e-pub reader

I read the story "Welcome to KillVille, USA"

I expect to be bored

But I am not

A few hours later

I feel hungry

I cook my late lunch

I cook some rice

I fry an egg, sunny-side up

I fry some sausages, again

I eat

I drink some water

I am full

I continue reading

I couldn't stop

I stop when they arrive

Tired and hungy

She argues

My siblings just sits in silence

I fry some eggs and some sausages

My siblings eats ahead of her

She comes down and eats

My sibling walk up the stairs

The phone rings

She answer

She calls out

She did not finish the last three bits

She covers her food

She walks up the stairs

I brush my teeth

I walk up the stairs

I walk into my room

And close the door

***

I long for you

Saturday, September 17, 2011

My heart

My Soul

Longs for you

I can hear your whisper in my ear

Though you are not here

Illusion?

I can feel your touch

Your Caress

Though I know you are not here

I must be crazy

Daydreaming?

I thought

You belong to me

But

It was all wishful thinking

Nothing is real

You have your life to live

I have no life

I only have my dreams of you

I am awake

But

My thoughts are fill with your images

We have a connection

It is so untrue

You don't even know me

I don't know you either, in person

Illusions and wishful thinking

Make believes

Live life, my love

I must live mine

Go on and I will also go on

Even without you

You're a sweet dream

You're also a frustrating dream

I'll see you when I do see you

If not

Let's go with life

without each other

***

Zen Saturday: Heavy Rain

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I wake in the middle of the day

We talk but cut me short

I change my clothes

We watch television

As we talk

I feel hungry

I walk down the stairs

I fry an egg and four pieces of sausages

I eat

I'm full

I sit in front of the computer

I set the time

I compute for the bill

Tenants are leaving on Wednesday

We can't avoid conflicts of interest

I'm done with computation

You're in the kitchen

Speaking while washing your hands

I write my prose or poem

As you eat with my sibling

An hour later, You finish eating

I am alone again in front of the computer

It is raining hard

As I write my Zen

The rain becomes light

I save my work

Now, I am done

***

A day in the Wilderness

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I find myself walking in dark path of frustration

Bitter and Angry

Sad and Gloomy

It is a long walk into the light again

A path opens

A path into my fantasy

Sweet Fantasy

Romantic Fantasy

Frustrating fantasy

You wait for me

Standing by the open door

You reach for me

I walk towards you and take your hand

We walk into the house

God only knows what will happen

Behind the close door

I awake in the morning

I regret that moment

I walk away while your sleeping on your bed

I walk out of the house

I walk back into the despair path of life

The path that leads to you disappear

I walk alone

Frustrated with tears flowing down my cheeks

A new path opens leading into my sanctuary

I walk into my sanctuary

I close the door

I cry

My soul is downcast

I desire the things I can't have

I lie on my bed

I close my eyes

I sleep

I had an awful day, yesterday

I had an awful night

Now, I'm walking into the bright path again

I can see everything clearly

Despair left

I can smile again

***

Why you don't have what you want?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Everything you have is base on who you are. If you change, life will change. This is so true. If you're an introvert and you wanted to be a television broadcaster, it won't work if you're camera shy and you don't like interacting with other people.

If you hate memorizing then you probably shouldn't be an actor or a teacher. Teachers and actors have to memorize something.

If you hate paper works, you shouldn't be in the office. If you want to be a physical trainer, then you must be physical healthy.

I can go on but I think you get the point.

***

New Life and a New You

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Don't you ever wonder what makes plants grow big, strong and healthy? It's the fertilizer dung or manure. "Ewww!" You say but this helps the plants looks healthy and the flowers looks beautiful.

What does it have to do with us? The manure dump on us are the ugly things happens to us. It help us to grow as a person, helps be strong and us healthy. We really don't like the stinky, disgusting, ugly experiences in our life but they are necessary.

It helps us blossom in beauty.

Or maybe you feel like an ugly caterpillar? That you think you're a burden or pests on the plants or leaves of the trees. After you sleep in your cocoon you become a beautiful butterfly.

After all the trials, hardships, pain, sorrows at the end of the tunnel, there is a bright morning spring awaits for you. Your perspective in life changes, you change, you are a new person and it radiantly reflect on the outside.

***

Difficult Times

We're in difficult times, all we see is our difficulties. We are worried or even anxious but it won't change our situation. We don't have what we want because of our personality.

We want life to change but we won't change. Change your attitude and life changes before your eyes. We want out of the situation but you can't, much as well accept it and just let it go.

If it has to happen, let it happen. Trust, have faith, pray, and let it go. Without you knowing it, everything happens. You're dreams came true without you realizing it.

You got to be open for it, welcome the dream. When you least expect it, it will happen.

***

Healing and Recovery

Thursday, September 8, 2011

It takes awhile before anyone can be healed and be on the recovery stage. It will be different for everyone. For some it just takes a few days, others a few weeks, a few months and for others it takes years. It all depends how much we are hurt.

Injuries can be physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

How does one heal from the wounds? In my case, it is faith, hope, prayer and love.

If faith has left you, it will be difficult for you to heal on your own. As well as hope, even if you pray, it doesn't work because you have don't have faith and hope. You don't believe in life.

You lost hope and just gave up. You also don't believe that your prayer can be answered and also don't believe in love. You are a complete doubting Thomas.

What now? Try not being alone, be with people who understand you, keep watching television programs that can help you, keep reading inspirational books though you have the tendency to block whatever message it has for you.

Eventually, all the messages will get through your heart, your mind, your soul.

A good night sleep can heal, some of your bruises or wounds. How can you get a good night sleep? A cold shower, a warm bath for the cold days, warm milk, relaxing music, reading a relaxing and encouraging books. Meditate, reflect, and pray.

Stay away from watching horror movies, drinking coffee, soda or anything with a caffeine.

Prayers can heal if you have faith or believe it can happen. If doesn't happen, it means it wasn't meant to happen, not just yet or it has another reason.

Prayers can heal, food poisoning with a good sleep. Prayers can heal a lazy eye, it can heal a polycystic ovaries syndrome, heal your depression, heal anxiety, removes your bitterness and anger. I'm talking from experience.

You can also pray for faith, hope and change. If you real want to. Don't lost hope, it will take awhile before you can have faith, hope and have some changes within yourself.

After you get healed, you are now in the recovery stage which needs maintenance. Keep reading inspirational books, keep moving forward, keep meditating, praying, make life simple as possible, remove the clutter things in life.

Take out things that make you life difficult, and I don't mean throw out your family members out of the streets or shoot someone you hate. Believe in what you pray.

Stop looking out for yourself and start sharing your life with others. Don't deny how you feel. Feel what you feel. Acknowledge it. Be thankful on the little things you have.

Write the good thoughts you have for the day, write the blessings you have for today.

***

If you have to then do it

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

If you have to cry then cry

If you have to sing then sing

If you have to pray then pray

The heavens hear your cry

Hear your songs

Hear your prayers

Play if you must

Eat if you must

Drink water if you must

Playing makes you enjoy life better

Eating nourishes your body

Water fills your thirst

If you're angry then be angry

If you're sad then be sad

If you want to speak out then speak out

Be angry but don't be violent

Be sad without over acting it

Speak with discreet

***

Counting your blessings

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It sounds like a cliche but it helps. Give thanks for small things you receive and not yet receive.

Thanks for the food

Thanks for the water

Thanks for the good night sleep

Thanks for the soft bed

Thanks that for the television

Thanks for the electricity

Thanks for the love ones

Thanks for the pets

Thanks for good thoughts

Thanks for the hugs and kisses

Thanks that you are able to used the computer and read this today.

***

Truth about life

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Life is not perfect. Life is not always fair. Life sucks sometimes. Life has joyful moments and sad moments. Most of the time we're more focus on sad moments, trials, hardship and what makes us miserable.

Just to let you know, all of those thinks are part of life. If it always joyful moments, you get everything your way. No trials, no hardship, no complication. What's point of living, if you have everything?

We need both experience joy and sorrow. We learn from trials it makes us stronger. After misery there is hope for a sunshine in your life.

If someone makes your day terrible it teaches not to be so confident about everything. It makes you realize you not the only person in this planet. Not everything goes on is about you.

And people who makes your life difficult teaches you tolerances, understanding and acceptance. It also teaches you cause and effect.

If something blocks your way to a good life find another way around it. If some things did work, try other things. You never know until you try.

***

Coffee

I love coffee

Yummy and sweet

It alerts me

Gives me energy

I hate coffee

Keeps me awake late at night

Gives me the jitters

Stop! Don't drink the coffee

Too late, I had coffee

***

Bright Monday Morning

Monday, September 5, 2011

I woke up

I dress up

I waited downstairs

Re-heat the rice

You bought some coffee and some bread

We eat breakfast together

We brush our teeth together

We giggle together

You hug and kiss my cheek

Eww, I said (Teasing)

You hug and kiss my cheek again

I wipe my cheek and said "Yuck!" (Grinning and Teasing)

You laugh hard and I laugh along with you.

Thanks for the hugs and kisses.

You haven't done that for a long time.

Thanks mom!

***

Hopeless and helpless

Monday, September 5, 2011

So many reason why people get immobilize. It can be physical. It can be financial. It can be emotional. It can be spiritual. It can also be mental.

People argues that "You don't know what I'd been through!" That is true, every situation is different but still the same effect. It immobilize each one of us.

If we are physically immobilize, we can't do any activities that we need to do. It frustrates us, makes us bitter and makes us angry.

Just as the same, a person who has nothing, he can't do much. He can't go anywhere he wants. He can do what he wants. He can't buy he wants. He stuck in one place and have to put up with the bad neighborhood.

Emotionally immobilize people couldn't function well. Why? It because they are upset or stress or even depressed. They couldn't continue life. They are feeling so down, they just want to stay in bed or wanted to die. Everything frustrates and irritates them. They don't feel physical pain but they suffer emotionally.

Every situation is different but the same effect. It makes you stop continuing why life.

a person with spiritual and thinking of some kind of problem suffers just like everyone else. As if life was drain out of them. They couldn't think right and couldn't do anything right. They're like walking zombies.

So, don't be angry with them. If they get weak and you think it's just petty or stupid, you don't know how they really feel inside and you don't understand their situation. Let's not judge so quickly.

We need to love and understand each other. Be considerate with other people's feelings but it doesn't tolerate their bad behavior. Point out their behavior with a firm conviction, saying, "You know, you're unbecoming and you know this wrong."

Give a helping hand and a warm embrace if you can but if he is a psychopath or violent get a professional help. Be discreet in everything you do and be wise.

***

Sinking into the gloomy side

Sunday, September 4, 2011

People sinking into Depression. Why do people get depressed? When they loss the one they love, loss a job, didn't get what they want in life, they have so many problems they can't solve. They get depressed when they can't change things.

They have the tendency to withdraw from life and from others. They push people away. They're angry, bitter, fearful, insecure, irritated and no matter what you say, they will contradict you or block you.

They loss hope and loss faith in life. They give up. They stop living life. They stop fighting for their dreams. They feel lost. They don't have a clue on what to do.

How would someone get back?

They must acknowledge their pain and express themselves whether write a journal or talk with someone who can understand what they are going through. Read books that can help.

They should not dwell on the past but live on the present. It sounds easy, but it is not. It never is. A person will have a hard time living the present when they can't forgive themselves and couldn't accept their present situation.

What frustrate a person makes them even more depressed. They must learn to let go whatever it is that holds them back. They should simplify their life. Removing all the clutter.

They should stop focusing on their selves but think how they can give or share with others.

We must remember we have a body, mind, soul and heart. Everything should have a balance. Take care of your body by feeding your body when it needs to eat some food. Drink when the body need some water. Exercise the body needs it too. Some good amount of sleep. Taking a bath or shower when the body needs it.

The mind needs feeding too but with the right information and good thoughts. The soul needs some feeding too by praying, meditating and inspirational and encouraging songs. The heart needs love, joy, fun, and so on.

Refocus your goals and intentions. Draw away from yourself and give love.

Stop trying to escape reality.

Healing takes time, it can take you a month, or months, maybe a year or even years. Whatever situation we are in, we must learn to accept things we can not change and live for the moment.

I'm talking from experience.

***

Saturday Zen September 3, 2011

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Nine hours sleep

Feeling refresh with a relax mind

The sun smiles as I smile back at the day

Late afternoon I woke

Taken a cold shower

Felt the water against my skin

Feeling refresh and relax

Four in the afternoon came

I cooked

I fried and stirred

Opened the lid

The rice is ready

The kettle whistles

I pour some hot water in my cup

The aroma of good coffee

Two bananas and a cup of coffee

I eat and drink

Relaxing and Zen

I finished my coffee

I brushed my teeth

My mouth felt refresh

I smiled as I climbed up the stairs

I turned on the lights

It's six in the evening

I sat on my chair

I wrote my poety

I watched television

I'm waiting for midnight

After Six hours of waiting

Now I can post my poetry

I posted and I am done

***

Spiritual Awakening

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Spiritual awakening is as natural as the sun rises, as natural as the flower blooms. When it hits you, you can't go back. You become aware of everything and see things as they are, not how we perceive them to be.

If you feel pain acknowledge it, we are both body and spirit. Sleep if you need sleep, eat if you need food. But there are things we don't act on for it damages the soul. You can not deny you are both body and spirit it is foolish to say, you are just a spiritual being. If you do not take care of your body the spirit will also suffer.

There is also the mind, if you feed your body you must also feed the mind and the soul. You can't disregard one part of yourself. There should be a perfect balance in all you do. You have a mind, soul, body and definitely you have an emotions.

***

Night Anxiety

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Every night as I lie on my bed

Anxiety sets in

My heart beats fast

Feeling tense and restless

Feeling negative about everything

A partial chest pain and irritated

Trap in my mind

Thinking of the past over and over again

I couldn't sleep

I stay late at night

I sleep when the sun rise

***

Power out: Short circuit

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Listening, Dancing by myself in my room

The speaker turns off

Charging my mp3 player

Turning on the television

The power goes out

Bought the new fuse

Checked the fuse box

Lizard got fried

A new fuse installed

Lights on, television on

Life continues but not for the lizard

***

About the Author

Ann Marie Aguilar is a writer and a digital artist. She started getting serious about writing when she was waiting for the correction of her thesis in February 2010. Her first fiction was titled “Kisho Cross” with two Volumes, an Epic Fantasy, in Script Format. The second fiction she wrote was titled “L.A. Supernatural Detectives,” Dark Fantasy Fiction Novella.

Web Sites:

http://www.anniesdigitalartworks.com/

http://annieswrittenworks.weebly.com/

Blog:

http://annblyt.blogspot.com/

***