The Great Balducci
Written by H. Jason Schulz
©2011 H. Jason Schulz
All Rights Reserved
Smashwords Edition
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Players:
Announcer
Balducci
Scene:
An empty stage.
Scene 1
The lights come up and the announcer is standing center stage.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! May I introduce the Great Balducci and his atomic juggle of doom! (Announcer begins to clap vigorously)
(Balducci enters the stage and takes several bows and stands next to Announcer)
Announcer: The Great Balducci will now frighten and delight us with his most dangerous act! The Great Balducci will attempt to juggle genuine nuclear reactor cores! This act is so dangerous that twice, the Great Balducci himself has burned the eyebrows from his face! The gamma radiation alone has destroyed every living thing within a three mile radius of his home as a result of his constant practicing of this most dangerous act! (Announcer begins to clap vigorously)
Announcer: However, insurance issues have prevented Balducci from performing with actual reactor cores. In fact every prop that is owned by the Great Balducci has been confiscated, just now, in the parking lot by a hazmat team. (Balducci hangs his head in sadness)
However! The Great Balducci will perform his act using… imaginary props! That’s right! The show must go on! Balducci has practiced to perfection his act and through the very muscle memory which he possesses you will see this incredible act…minus the actual props. So! With out further adieu, I present the Great Balducci! (Announcer begins to clap vigorously as he moves to the side of the stage)
(Balducci acts out the scene as the announcer calls out what he is juggling)
Announcer: Balducci will now warm up by juggling three dangerous objects! Are you ready Balducci?
Balducci: I am ready!
(Balducci produces three imaginary tennis balls and juggles them for a while.)
Announcer: What are you juggling Balducci?
Balducci: Tennis balls.
Announcer: Not dangerous enough! Did anyone happen to bring any imaginary dangerous objects?
(Announcer takes suggestions of dangerous items from the audience and asks the audience to toss them to Balducci. After a time Balducci stops juggling. Announcer begins to clap vigorously)
Announcer: Finally, the nuclear reactor cores! (To the front row of the audience) If the radiation gets to great, feel free to move back some! Ladies and Gentlemen, The Great Balducci and his atomic juggle of DOOM! (Announcer puts on goggles)
(Balducci pretends to open a box then cringes at the contents. He puts on welding mask and gloves then re-opens an imaginary box. He quickly tosses several imaginary reactor cores into the air, juggling them with difficulty. After a time he tosses them back into the imaginary box and quickly closes the lid of the imaginary box. He stands with his hands raised for applause.)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! The Great Balducci! (Announcer begins to clap vigorously as Balucci bows)
End of scene