Excerpt for Spiritual Junkie by David Swan, available in its entirety at Smashwords

Spiritual Junkie : Poems That Make You Blink

David Swan


Published by The Spiritual Junkie@Smashwords


Copyright 2011 David Swan


Smashwords Edition, Licence Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for use only, then please return to smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Junkie


Hey You Junkie !

brown eyed and bushy tailed

crying like a true artist

tears soaked all over your suit

thoughts written across your face.

Your brick heavy head lies

dead on my sofa whilst

U dream of methadone martyrdom

and fields made of needles

and wishes that betrayed you.

Hey you junkie !

get you some civility

don’t bribe me with Ginsberg

and his strange words that still my centre

You revealed the coward in me

the full time fool

stop crying about your wife !

Your face is an ugly turtle and 

this whole world is your zoo.

The benches are all empty

and the skies are way too full.

Mother and Baby


What strange creature lies before me

without a name to know you

so I could accuse you

of leaving my belly so cold.

Some say God sent you.

Darwin mentions evolution

but you seem so other worldly

staring at me with history,

looking like peace.

There’s knowledge in the weight of you.

I heard philosophical men once speak

of karma.

Are you my mother ?

Did I do wrong ?

Slowly you will grow old

just as empires do.

But for me they'll build a pyre,

and I’ll set sail,

while the flames dance, snap, and crack. 

Snow


The snow reminds me of dust


something not to breath in.

And the beauty of the scenery I find

quite haunting,

as if  I can't somehow contain it.

So I try to capture it with my camera.

Somehow the photo never quite


brings me back to that moment of


such sad beauty.

So I burn it,


and the ashes from the

photograph fall to the ground 

and remind me once again

of the sadness of pure beauty.

Again I take a photo

but this one I keep in a jar

with a lighter by its side.

It remains there to this day 

waiting for my last breath,

so I can burn and see the beauty


once again.



Loner


You see me here pondering

Bedraggled old loner

Unshaven hunter of dreams

Writer of words not yet written

Singer of songs not yet sung

and the lover of loves

not yet won.

Food


Send me down the river

let this discarded body lie.

Let it rot amongst the lilies

and be nurtured by the sky.

Bury me in the garden, and let

my blood make flowers grow.

Allow my tears to water hedges

and with my death let sorrow go.

Take my body to the mountains

and let vultures be my guest.

Let my flesh be food for comfort

while my soul in heaven rests.



Silly Science


the quarks sat there simply refusing to move 

while protons and neutrons could no longer groove

and scientists sat there observing with muse

that the energies inertia simply refused


Last Words


He hung there like a fake Rembrandt
beautiful but false.
His slender arms stretched like 
twisted towels
his legs delicately crossed.


The beauty of his body raised before me;
an unwilling shroud.


The blood from his forehead
moistened his lips as he raised his head
and said to me


'God is dead ! God is dead ! 
tell the people so.


Your future dies with me
Your father never was,
and your prayers remain unanswered,


just lonely echoes in a forest of silence'.


What Matters


What matters for some is dark chocolate,

And that silky, sexy, bitter sweet taste.


What matters in the minds of rich people,

Matters less in the minds of the poor ones.


What matters are stars born from emptiness,

And crumpled quilts on children’s unmade beds.


What matters most is my mother, cancer

Ridden, and that phone call to say I care.


What matters is that you really know me,

and as human beings all share my fate.


Matter, matters, to the mad scientists,

but it doesn’t matter to faithful priests.


What matters to them are affairs of the

Heart, what matters to them both is truth.


What matters to me is an open mind,

and chewing all things on an open path.


What matters can be the question of death,

buried beneath a system of belief.


What matters in heaven, matters in hell

and if neither exists, and god is dead.


What matters most are these fragile winter

sticks, that can snap, and break in a heartbeat.

God King


I am the God King of all the

Buddha’s. My feet are firmly

Grounded on either Side of the

Universe. My staff is centred.


I hold past and future like lilies

In the palms of my hands. I appear

at once in all directions. My many

faces, reflections of the divine.


Words like Truth, love, and GOD,

Are merely signposts pointing to the

Bottomless and inexplicable

Vastness of that which I am.


Birth and Death are gates through

Which we pass through endlessly.

Time and Space, only nails hammered

In, to give structure to substance.


Cast of your false expectations of

Enlightenment and feel your feet

On the ground, and rainbows

will appear in all directions.

My friend called FOE


What if someone said,

Would you like to meet the fabric of existence

and you said yes.


What would it be like

What colour would it be

Would it be large and if so,

how large ?


Could you touch it

or smell it

or even bring it back to show your parents.


What would you tell them


"I'd like you to meet the fabric of existence"


Do you think they would be shocked ?


"What's his name ? " cries your Mum.


"Where's he from ?" enquires your Dad.


“and what do his parents do !”


But he has no name

comes from nowhere

and certainly has no parents.


But he loves to play,

always playing ;


with time,

with creation,

with the destruction

of stars and dreams,

endlessly creating new people, new planets, new languages, new species.


If you met the fabric of existence

how would you feel ?

Maybe scared, initially.


Something so vast:

no boundaries

no signposts

no name to call it


and to be it completely

you would have to give up your ground.


Can you handle that ?


to have no name,

to have no boundaries,

to have no sense of self or place in this

vast and uncompromising universe.


no sadness, no joy, no shame, no sorrow....


Yes ? No ?


Maybe you would put it back and say no thanks.


I'm quite happy with who I am.


My laptop, my living room, my unconventional eating habits.


You would put him in a box.


Maybe call him GOD.


Labels are nice,

boxes are nice,

to contain things is nice...


and if your parents ask....


where did that big, ugly, friend of yours go ?


you know the one without names, or boundaries, or parents


and you would say,


I don't know he just disappeared.

Chasin Fiery Tigers Tails


I chase fiery tigers tails

Sometimes they burn my fingers
I cool my fingers in turquoise waters
while the emerald jewels of the lake
wink from my reflection.

Fiery tigers they have furry tails
that are longer than my dad
they stretch across hungry skies
that hug me then sneak off into space

Fiery tigers like to call my name
they invite me out to dance
In a trance my feet twist and turn
hypnotised my hands twist and shake
as I pirouette across the desert floor.

By night time I've grown tired
of chasin fiery tigers tails.
So I sleep on the desert floor.
A desert fox keeps the wind from me
Stars become my bed time light.

When I sleep I dream of fiery tigers
They sing and dance to tempt me
and in my dreams I can fly
so I chase fiery tigers across the sky
they try to hide behind the stars


I chase them till the ends of space
where a million tigers are running
Their long fiery tigers tails light up
the edges of the universe
as they endlessly eat into empty space..


The Piper


The piper stands feet firm to the ground

his heart points towards the north.

Strong gales reach down childless lochs

while huddled elders whisper Gaelic tales.


Some say ghosts lay along this road

souls of clansmen drenched in blood.

Tartan cloth and skin become bone,

hands clenched tight, molded to metal.


Draped in this flag dark blue and white,

a cross that bears the scar of repression.

Some say we dance to a southerner’s tune

but we say the piper stands alone.


How long to wait for the rallying call ?

Remaining servants to distant cousins.

Some say that we fear to go it alone,

to tread without sisters and brothers.

 


For what is a home without its heart.


Rotterdam


Straight lines no curves

History bombed flat.


A cold naked canvas at

The mercy of adventurous architects.


Meticulous plans laid down from the

Dreams of scholarly men.


Turning ghosts whispers

From the ethereal to the angular.


Some say dispassionate, abstract

Forms of tactless construction.


I see true peace in symmetry

A prayer in concrete form.


Collateral Damage


The best time is early in the morning

when the sun lifts its eyelids across

the desert floor and the smoky swirls

of burning oil are chased away.


The smell of cheap black coffee

that catches the back of your throat.

The sight of your first target.

My gun is a cross on which I die daily.


When squinting through the cross hair

my bullet could be galaxies away.

A message from the angels of death

How could you be so cold they say ?


But I was trained to shoot targets,

I was trained to ‘not’ think, just shoot.

There’s no room for a chance to say

'drop your weapons' ask what side you’re on


To kill is drilled into me, to question,

left by Officers. They provide the excuses.

One minute a hero, next a psychopath.

They say, why didn't you identify ?


One women, a husband, and one child.

Burning sunlight in downtown Baghdad.

Faces of hatred thrown at me. Every

Human being a potential target.


But what some say is wrong, is

sometimes considered right and war

strips you of your humanity, takes

your soul, and nails it to a cross.

I Am

 

I am small but can be tall.

I am fat, thin, black, white,

funny and sad.

 

I am the sun rising early in the morning

then descending slowly till I am the night.

 

I am the love your mother gave you, but

I am the hate that made you fight.

I am the sex that makes love to you sweet and light.

 

I am WAR, a seed hidden deep within you,

stripping you bear with all my might.

 

I will give you the strength to build yourself up,

and with a single word, bring you crashing down.

 

I am fear.

I am thunder.

I am a rainy day.

I am a sunray.

 

My storms have wreaked havoc across continents

rendered countries helpless, thousands dead,

children motionless with despair.

 

My wars have taken humanity to

the darkest regions of its soul.

 

I am holocaust.

 

I am atom bomb.

 

And when the world finally collapses to its knees

unable to witness its own destruction.

 

I will come.

 

For I am hope in the distance,

coming out of the darkness into the light.

 

I am God, but the Devil too.

 

Do not try to understand me, for

I will turn you insane.

 

Trust in me.

 

I am out there but in here.

 

I am the Universe and beyond.

 

I am all.

 

I am everything.

 

But most importantly of all,

 

I am nothing.

Stone


It sits.


Huddled like a mother

Cuddled by the weather

A burden on the landscape.


A profound density of mass,


Bearded with moss.


Transient


morrocan firebird

long tail trailing

curly hair held

tight in my fists

arms and legs wrapped

round like vine leaves

my knuckles knead

your doughy skin

our eyes lock and

i see love : death

time doesn't exist

when i am with you

but death does,

a grinning skull.

love is transient.

Rise


i rise at 7:30

& sit on my

zafu.


outside lightning

strikes,


inside the

buddha

speaks.

Dreams of Africa


From the ashes rose

Africa,

A phoenix of pure

sunlight.

Its vast wings of

antiquity,

shadowed across a continent:


a mother’s arms shielding its

newborn

from an imperialist sun


It’s velvet and silky voice now

soars across a delightfully orange

tinged sky;

singing songs from fallen angels

about the hidden fruits

they once tasted.


hopes on one day returning,

on wings borrowed from

Africans Sorrow.



The River


Tired and brown the river winds down

through mudflats and derelict houses.

Its steady stream gazed upon by lovers,

Thieves, and untainted children.

 

Its water courses through cities and towns

and abandoned waterways. Sounds of

modern distractions held back by

un-tamed brambles and gnarled branches.

 

The river reflects hands held to faces

and absorbs the tears of young men.

Sometimes the shadows of flies twirl

unpredictably: as is the nature of things.

 

The river runs on for miles and miles

and passes no judgment. All are welcome

to gaze upon Its hypnotic surface and try

to fix an eye upon its movement.


But the river moves on from mountain to sea

and it has no story to tell.


The Heart of it

 

was in the stone

 

But u can’t hear anything.

u can’t see anything.


It offers u no teachings.

 

Just sits there.


Round, smooth, the weight of an Angel.

A symbol of peace.

 

Its illusory solidity confirmed,

by Scientists and Buddhists alike.

 

Confirmation definite.

 

Its silent sound vibrates from the centre,

the endless cycles of the universe

 

A never ending gyroscopic descent,

into the heart of matter.


Child Soldier

 

I am a child soldier, but I have never seen

the plains of Africa. My battlefields are

the living rooms of tired tenement blocks,

and semi detached houses everywhere.

 

I stare out across carpets and see shrapnel

of smashed tea cups and photo frames.

Scratched records spin endlessly round

‘singing bye bye Miss American Pie’

 

I protect the Angel an embattled old soul

who holds aloft her bottle of Martini

like Joan of Arc & sings the blues like

Billie Holiday. Cigarette smoke twirling.

 

And you my sodden father, drunken old

Teacher. Zen master with war weary tales.

Your tears and spit would often mix in your

Palms as you firmly shook my hand.


Don't you know the Queensberry rules ?

She can't dance like a butterfly, but you

sure sting like a bee. And now the whole

world to me is Joe Frazier, and I am

Muhammad Ali.

The Singularity


Bending a singularity
Is very simple don’t you see
Take a finger pinch of space dust
And split time with eternity.

Grab the corners of the universe
And with some water add a dash
Bend the curves without a nervous twitch
And don’t forget to catch the flash.

View the flash under a microscope
Then with a knife slice through the middle
And you’ll see right in the heart of it
A singularity playing the fiddle.

If your patient, why not wait a while
For this wondrous song to end
And then ask the singularity
If it wouldn’t mind giving a bend.

The Wall

A Blackness that can’t be

Penetrated.

A Thickness that offers

No Hope.

A Silence that can last for

Eternity.

You notice a Gate, with a sign which reads,

‘leave everything behind if you wish to pass through’

So you take of your clothes;

Shoes, hats, socks and shirt.

Then leave behind your family;

Your Father, Your Mother, Sister and Brother,

And cousins too.

You place aside your memories

Of all you’ve ever done.

Then remove your body;

Your hair, Your teeth, Your blood, Your bones,

In a nice pile please.

You stand there as nothing,

And open the gate.

But there’s nothing there cept a sign that reads,

BIG JOKE : )

And the wall starts to laugh, everything starts to laugh,

everyone starts to laugh: So you should laugh too.

Solitary Pilgrim


I sit in the Sahara Desert, contemplating.

After the war to end all wars finished.

Sun tracing my back, wishing the world was flat.

All human life vanished, in an instant.

Some animals left angry and confused, I their master.

I have the last flower picked from a field in Iran,

Dried and placed between the pages of a book.

I drank the last drop of water from the Indian ocean,

Surviving on tears till they dried too.


So here I sit, Solitary Pilgrim, the only one with a key

And always the last to leave.


Slowly the world rotates, whittling itself down to an

Apple core. I too whittle away until nothing remains.

And from all around me I hear laughter.

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Thank You for reading my poems. I have been writing on and off for fifteen years and the above poems are the result of meditating, searching, and thinking about myself and the nature of the world we live in. I am a late starter in life and I am currently working on a novel of the same name which I hope to also have published via smashwords.com. Please find me on dpswan.wordpress.com for updates. Thanks



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