DEDICATIONS AND THANKS
I would like to dedicate this book to my husband and children. I would also like to thank my mum for believing in me when no one else would and to my family who support me always and love me no matter what!
I am relentless at times and have made lives difficult at the best of times, but my loving family have always been by my side and for them all I am eternally grateful, they gave me my start in life and what else could I want!
INTRODUCTION
I will begin this book with a quote, I am as thick as a plank. This is quote made by Princess Diana who was known as the queen of hearts. In some ways I feel she was my kindred spirit guiding me through my life when times got hard.
I was diagnosed with Manic Depression 10 years ago and what a road it has been since then. I have learnt things about life that have pushed me beyond belief and things that have stuffed me up mentally, I have also learned that my illness has been a gift, one I must share with the world to help others recover.
I began my journey into self discovery and development from reading Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life and from there the sky became the limit, little did I know at the time, what would become of me, my hushand and my daughter. Many things came I wanted and some lessons I learnt the very hard way, like all of us in life.
CHAPTER 1
INSTRUCTIONS
There is a way to read this book that will benefit you greatly so I put it to you before commencing. Please follow to the letter, if you don’t put one ingredient in a cake recipe like baking soda or flour, would it end up nice and fluffy or a complete floppy disaster?
Buy a book, or grab some paper for now and get small cheap one later. A lined one for writing is good, we will call it a journal or diary, whichever you like. This is for recording lessons, tid bits or things you pick up as you go.
Follow last instructions in last chapter to the letter.
SECTION 1
LOVE
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same
Nelson Mandela
CHAPTER 1
HEARTS
I believe our hearts can do so many things, some which are good and some which are bad, which is the root of all evil and the push of all things loving. Monks, Priests and Leaders in the world I believe would agree the world is in need of change and that the heart is where it begins.
I believe the heart is why the earth suffers, look at France and the love shaped garden, look at the reason people are vegetarian! We feel on the one hand we need to be vegetarian but on the other we love a good steak!
I don't quite know how to explain this fact but know I am guilty as charged and love tucking into a good leg of lamb at times then other times could kill someone who makes me eat it! The animals on the planet I believe have much to teach us as do the crazy people like me who fill it's corners.
Music can make us cry, laugh and heal yet we can sometimes choose to listen to destructive forces like AC/DC a favourite of mine! Catch me on a good day and I will plug relaxation music and sit there and make you listen to it! Either way I feel that life is something that teaches us when we are busy making other plans as John Lennon so rightly said!
I know for a fact however that forgiveness of all things is crucial also in the journey of life, without this we are lost souls wondering the earth. I at this time of my life am carrying a boy and feel pulled by his heart at the best of times and know the men hold up half the sky, I can feel it that
CHAPTER 2
Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.
Tori Amos
THE PATH TO HEALTH
I am writing this book in the hope that I can help other sufferers of the illness see things a little differently.
I
started two books previously about healthy mind and heart but this
just sits better for me to write as one thing I am is an expert at
having it!
I guess from young I have always felt different from the crowd, feeling the way I think was different from other people, not quite fitting in with mainstream society. However had I known how my life would turn out, I would have said, no way mate, you must be joking, that is just too plain ridiculous even for a fiction novel!
I grew up in Perth, Australia, the best place in Australia I believe but ask any Ausstralian they will say the same about their place of birth. I was born at Princess Margaret Hospital and my mum had a few issues with her health at the time.
My dad is your typical aussie man, tough, rough and ready and will do anything for his family and for that I owe him my life, he is my saviour and hero as most gilrs would say about their dads, I now am a mother of one and my daughter feels the same about her dad!
CHAPTER 3
DIAGNOSIS
I was diagnosed at 19 with Bipolar after a long string of successes in my life, I was a dancer, a university student and seemed like I had it all. How wrong I was at the time, I know now was my lesson to learn, I often call it my curse with a smirk!
I was in hospital for three months and to get outside was an effort I almost was totally crippled with fear, but that year was the year of my awakening to what gifts I had to offer the world in terms of a healthy heart and mind. I may be one thing and that is different from most to say the very least.
After that three month admission, I have been in and out of hospital four times, I am not going for the world record but I believe it has taught me a lot about life, forgiveness, love and courage.
One thing I feel and still feel today is that doctors, psychiatrists, life coaches and the like are all there for a reason and they serve a purpose, yes that includes plastic surgeons as well! They are needed to make us beautiful if the need exists, this is my belief anyway, I love doctors and hate them at the same time and this is another curse of mine which is a constant thorn in my side!
YOUR TIME TO SHINE
I want to use this example as it is one of my all time favourite people and musicians, the world over I think as well as a boy from my home town Perth, David Helfcott, good boy from Subiaco wine bar, most people now know his story from the movie with Geoffrey Rush, Shine.
He has a similar condition to mine, another great movie of similar sorts is the one with Russell Crow a Beautiful Mind, sorry if I keep quoting Australian actors movies but I am patriotic hey sue me for it, I really don’t mind.
Anyway the point I would like to make here is this. David Helfcot is one guy who chose a life without medicine so I think at least I know my creative gifts don’t seem to flow as much if I am drugged to the eye balls, my poetry started while on medicines, I call them drugs as I see them as addictive as the hardest of drugs it is a big statement to make.
A friend also once said to me, is food an addiction, sugar, television or computers, yes I would say all things can be addictive, I still am yet to kick my facebook addiction and try to get off it for a one week ban at times for mind training sake.
David Helfgott had a musical gift no one could quite understand or believe, not even himself at times I am sure of. His wife married him and till the day she dies will be with him I hope even if second wife, who says they are not a happily married couple would could all strive to be. There are course in marriage counseling, relationships, how to get a man or woman and millions of experts to boot. But why not just look at a couple like that to see how it is done. No special recipe or course taken, just one based on love.
Doctors should they have seen him in the scene walking downstairs with no pants at university, would say throw him into a mental ward, straight jacket and all, he is crazy and uncontrollable.
I would say to the doctor that said that, this being example not factual account, hey, hang around doc, this guys music you won’t want to miss. See I think many doctors get the patients at the wrong time or moment in life. Like when a parent or loved one worries and says quick lets go and see a doctor and get some help to fix it. With the best intentions yes, but often the loved ones of a sufferer don’t know the root of the problem or why it is happening even those who have experienced it previously. They just want their wife, husband, sister or friend feeling back to normal, with no more crying or suffering, so that is also understandable no?
I just feel that if a doctor, yes I know there time is limited they must study seven years of medicine and they have patients these days lined up at there surgeries with more and more new illnesses, should be trained in things other than sickness and grief, god knows there would be cliniics of accupunture and natural medicines lined up to offer free support or help. Why is it that natural medicines are okay to offer free services so much. Or that they jump at the chance to cure or help sufferers.
I am not saying the medical profession knows nothing, far from it I may need an operation should my leg need to be removed from gangrene, all I am saying is if more doctors were willing and able to do study in nutrition and health and love heaven forbid, there just may be more sufferers cured or less walking through the doors of surgeries as people would start being educated on positive health stories and cures, not bombarded with adds for cold medicines and the like. I would not mind seeing a commercial for accupunture success or massage clinic curing a bung leg. It happens, once again start researching yourself cases of mental and physical health miracles there are many and varied cases, studied, documented your just not looking for them enough, do so now!
You have the choice what to do with this information I am about to give, you can read whole book and at end have a small shift in focus or you can do each and every thing put in, like when I read a book. I devour every exercise with a note book on hand.
With your journal, keep it on hand, throughout the book, jot down bits that gel or information you want to act on, so you have a map at the end and can progress much faster towards health. I myself may still be returning to hospital who know what the future holds and David went in before also, but one thing I know is true, the sickness I have I now see as a gift. One that teaches other patience for one, I can push peoples buttons, not necessarily the right ones at times. I would also say people in your life that are pushy, completely opposite to your or just plain dysfunctional are also there to teach you something. Those people I have met, helped or known in my life have such amazing courage and strength, you would not believe the places some people have come from. Most adults from orphanages, would never tell their closest friends about their childhood, why would they if they have gone on to success?
Shine the movie, basically is one I put in to point out, would David have been better off drugged up on medicines daily with no music to share or a bit crazy or different from the crowd, one who became one of the most inspirational musicians of our time.
You decide, but I warn people you will need help from those already trained in health or natural medicines helping you or a friend at least to support you on your road to health without medicine. This also may mean medicine is only option, then you come off it, if you need speedy recovery due to being sent through emergency department alone after suicide attempt, but I am hoping I don’t get readers who are that far gone. I say that bluntly but with a smile, this is a subject I have seen a lot of and no I don’t’ take it lightly but use to make a point. Don’t wait until your life is so far down the gurgler and your ready for divorce or to start hitting the bottle as your so depressed. Do something today with your life and start enjoying your life daily.
CHAPTER 4
SPIRITUALITY
I Believe deeply that we must find, all of us together, a new spirituality.
Dalai Lama
ACCEPTANCE
I have learnt over the years to accept my lot in life, be realistic and all the stuff that comes with a diagnosis of this kind. If you asked me at 23 years of age if I had a problem with Bipolar I would have slapped you and said I am doing the Tony Robbins Date with Destiny, get out of my face, I think Tony himself knows the power of humour, well I hope at least!
I learnt over my 100’s of books, CD courses in health, thousands of dollars spent on quick fixes that there is never a complete cure for a headache of this sort. So finally after 10 years of in and out of hospital and on and off medicines, I have accepted I have an issue with this mental health problem. If I didn’t accept it, I would be even nuttier than I am already heaven forbid!
FAITH
I have also learnt over the year that having faith in something whether it be, love, sport, work, children, card collection anything, it proves to be a powerful force of good. I always have faith things will work out in the end and call me crazy but I feel the world could do with a little of this!
I have learnt also to accept that life gives you no more than you can handle, but sometimes god can lay it on pretty thick. I guess if you believe in Bhudda, God, Ala or whatever it should support what your doing not destroy it as it can at times with me still.
CHAPTER 5
LOVE
A friend of mine who taught me so much and helped me with many difficult times in my life said one thing that stuff with me for life. He said keep it simple and if you do nothing else just focus everything on love and base your life on that.
The saying keep it simple stupid comes in handing in this instance. Do only one thing at a time and focuse everything you do, say, eat, breath on love and what can go wrong? If you eat what you love, buy what you love, do what you love, treat others and yourself with love, wouldn’t your life be easy.
Just believing that all you need to do day in, day out for the rest of your life if you accomplish nothing else is enough for me at the hardest of times. Say for example one week, all is going down the guggler. Your husband leaves you, you then loose your job and you think, holy smoke what am I going to do now I am never going to get over this hump. If all you do each day is get up and love all you do, write the word love in your journal, I will get to this later and just keep all your attentions on this fact. I guarentee you will recover faster than you can say boo.
Some weeks in my life have been so disasterous that all I have done is just write love, and daily plans and I have overcome going manic superfast. This is in weeks where prior to living this way I would have ended up in a psychiatric ward, mania as you know if you have it, can take two days to take over and land you in all sorts of strife.
I guess the one thing I do when all else fails is think ok, this week I will focus on love only. I usually try to focus on love and doing all things slowly and once in this habit, life seems to roll along with no hick ups.
I guess at different times love can come to us in forms we don’t want. For example, going to hospital three months after my baby was born, taught me how to start a support group we called stress busters and that was wonderful for that time and place. I still have two friends from that hospital visit, some I have from my very first stint. He is a friend I will have for life and we have been to hell and back together or at least seen some things that many would not.
There is something to be said for support groups which I will now talk about in my next chapter.
CHAPTER 6
SUPPORT GROUPS
These are many and vast and in every city in every continent, I think you will find one for something. They range from alcoholics anonomous to parents of children lost through drunk and driving. Then there are those simply for mum’s living over seas. What I have found however is these groups have proven life saving for me from my very first support group which was a class in Sir Charles Gardener Hospital.
The group I will never forget, had stories from people who I honestly can’t remember, but the lady running it, I do remember to this day. She was an occupational therapist who seemed to have it all to me. She then used to talk to me walking around the ward and even in the garden sitting down outside. Lessons in those places could be learnt at any moment in time.
One talk to her she said look I may seem to have it all together but if you come to my home it is like world war three. At the time I thought yeah sure, but she inspired me to think, hey even those people have things at home that are not perfect.
Also my first support group was the group of friends I met in the ward. I tell you, the friends in those places can laugh and make a laughter therapy class seem pathetic. We once snuck out to steal roses at night. We also would steal the wheel chairs from other wards just to hoon around. Hoon around means put simply cruise like in a sixties chevy. We had fun, that was for sure.
Also one night, I would always not matter how sick be able to round up a party, that to this day I love to my husbands disgust. The first visit, our support group, well friends we had become for the time there decided to play Oprah, she was like Jerry Springer at the time and we thought hey we are the kings and queens of daytime drama, lets do our own! The doctors at the time said Lee be careful, we won’t stop you but don’t get too excited. I laugh now as that is something I still struggle with, ask any Bipolar person, getting excited is the spice of their lives! Don’t take that away.
So that night, we had one girl, stuff her top with pillows and she had a sister who was just too damned jealous bitch! I tell you, we had no alcohol or drugs but the language was something not so nice. We laughed and poked fun at each other, and I think the other patients would have wondered what was going on. I was pregnant I think or pretended to be while walking around the ward. The fun, we had was a memory I shall never forget and one that doctors would not have taken away. Psychiatrists working in those types of wards always allow crude behaviour, they hear and see things most people would shudder at.
Another thing too that those places have taught me over the years is that although they have a high turnover of staff all involved genuinely love the patients and help them to the best of their ability, whether or not they succeed or not. I am sure many of them may not have good home lives if they do it forever or years on end. One doctor I saw on my last visit, still there and still smiling, the same warm person I remember from the beginning.
All I will say is people who have loved ones or know someone with Bipolar or any mental illness for that matter, go to a group even if you only go once. It will help you no end I know that for a fact from my experience.
CHAPTER 7
DISABILITY
I have learned a lot about disability over the years and one thing I find helps me keep focused. Is that disability whether vision impaired or wheel chair bound. People are people and they are effected regardless and here to teach others.
My father when I was a child was a strong man, who worked hard all his life for us, my mum and dad are still married. He worked in a Down Syndrome Centre as he was builder and I said one day, those not so nice people are stupid. He said don’t ever say that if I hear you say it again, I will belt you one. I was sixteen and working in a child care centre but knew he meant business.
I did then not say it in front of him but learned that they have a right to be heard and l still to this day help and talk to anyone with a disability. I met many people in a wheelchair in hospitals and depression is not something hereditary in my opinion, they are just pissed at being stuck in a chair. Wouldn’t you be, whether you had it from birth or were in an accident, it would be pretty hard I think, not something you would be happy about.
So then it comes to happiness. Who are we to say someone in a wheel chair is less happy than someone not in one. Look at those olympics for disabled, those sports men and women are more ruthless and fit than I can ever hope to be.
I guess this is the one thing I hate doctors for yes hate. Sometimes I feel the medical profession has a lot to answer for. Not the doctors doing the work in hospitals, the proffessors that refuse to hear or listen to information that could help them cure millions of sufferers.
I for one would say in wards for people who are in psychiatric wards or cancer wards any for that matter. Let’s spend more on acupuncture and alternative medicines than the thousands spent on western medicine. Even if they took say 20 percent and trust me the drug companies can afford to take a bit of a loss on this. I guarentee the recovery rate would improve three fold and heaven forbid some patients may do well enough not to return.
The very hospital I went to first and so called the best for psychiatric care in Perth, have started a clinic of alternative therapy, for the cancer patients. This is run by volunteers and probably not funded well, but is chock full of people wanting to offer free service and has patients streaming in. You have to book a week in advance and if your not a cancer patient, they don’t have room for you.
I guess the point I am trying to make here is why do so many thousand people use and have used for thousands of years. Medicines that are shunned by doctors. I guess they are always behind in cures, they usually discover cures for things, just in time for another disease to arrive. Such is the way of the universe.
“
CHAPTER 13
Children are like the flowers of the world, they inspire us to be more than we feel we can be!
Lee Dhepnorrarat
DIAGNOSIS
For me, this was the trickiest of things. Once diagnosed, which I know was necessary, my life began a vastly different path but one necessary for me. For others it could mean death, for those who have cancer or have a car accident and are put in a wheel chair for life.
All I know is that this step for me, was the worst and most difficult part of my life, yet the start of the most wonderful part as I started to appreciate the meaning of life at a much deeper level.
Diagnosis for my friend who has helped me keep going towards medicine free life, was vastly different to the diagnosis I got. She basically went into a surgery, a General Practicioner and he said look you can take this drug and be on it for life or go back to your country and heal your family trouble.
Simple statement yes for my friend, this meant a whole different ball game, all I can say is her life was much more difficult than thousands of women world wide, I won’t say her nationality but I have helped her with many traumas that have resulted in her trip home.
Well I guess the thing that keeps cropping up for me is, that in hospitals, day to day living, with clients, friends and the like the question is always asked, do I take medicine or not.
Well if this was a simple answer then there would be no hopsitals of the western kind and I am the first to say, we need hospitals where would we be without Emergency Departments and crisis care. Accidents happen daily so if that happened and you broke your leg, you would for sure take morphine to ease the pain and go under for surgery if necessary.
I am hated by many and argue with the same amount but I know for certain there are a few people I have saved from going down the path of depression medicines, and know they will never touch a pill.
I also know many who I have since met, well a few at least, that have opted out of their doctors recommendation, refusing to take medicines for depression and they are a ok, not a need for them, although they may live life on the edge or like the rest of the world.
I guess what I am saying is, that doctors need to wake up and realize, that the patients know more at times about their health, perhaps all of the time, than they do. You can not place someone in a psychiatric facility if they don’t agree, even if they go in with a straight jacket. Their treatment will not work, simple as that.
I have seen people shipped off to harsher facilities and the like for non complience but wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier if all the patients put up their hands and said, hey doctor I need to go to a psychiatric ward please admit me. I have asked once and been turned away. Well at least I asked funny, but that time I cruised another few years with no admission.
I guess for easiness sake I will use depression as one example of a success story in the next chapter.
CHAPTER 14
I'm a survivor - a living example of what people can go through and survive.”
Elizabeth Taylor
SALLY WHICH WAY?
Here is another aspect to my book, happy stories, not just statistics. This is one thing doctors should be made to study, cures of cancer, depression, not just the drug treatment, I am sure of that.
Depression treated by patient number one. Sally I will call her was a person much like you and me.
Sally had a few things happen in her life yes perhaps a bit more than most but in her eyes let’s say a few.
She was told by her father to go and see a doctor she clearly has depression.
She went to doctors surgery, he said, she is suicidal, you must make her take depression medicine after doing a routine questionare given to all General Practitioners.
I won’t go into details but all General Practioners are given surveys this I am sure, I have been given hundreds over the years. I just wonder if these surveys are taking into account the weather that day and the fact that someone may have died that week. As I know for me that anyone experiencing death in a family may feel a bit depressed that week.
Does that mean that person has depression. On the off chance the persons wife or husband is away for work and say their only sister died. I would say yes they may seem upset.
Let’s say that person then thinks oh my god, I have an illness, just to make things better, that may be how they see it. They now not only have to face the death of a loved one, but they will be taking medicine each morning to fix this thing.
Well, I am sorry to say I would disagree with the doctor if I saw this woman on the street. I would say to her, hey of course your upset, why don’t you talk it over with your spouse when they get home, they may not think you have the illness.
The path this person would take would be so different with both options given. But why is it that so many would take the doctors advice or diagnosis from a survey, over a person in the street who may have been through something similar but overcome it drug free.
The point I am making here is that we all have a choice, whether we think so or not when we walk into a doctors office. I used to take antibiotics for colds for many years and here in some countries they are handed out over the counter, yet in others they are illegal.
Why is it up to countries to decide which illnesses are treated with one thing that is harmless in millions eyes, yet six hours across the sky in a plane, it is completely illegal and a doctor can get fined or much worse loose their licence. Premiums are high these days. Look at the United States, most people can’t afford an operation to save a finger, if they so must make the decision. Who has a spare six thousand dollars lying around.
Start to look at health differently, just because your born in the place your born, it doesn’t’ mean you must accept their laws about health and the like as gospel. Start to become a sceptic, not just about the medicines you take but about the governments that feed you news daily. What good news is spread each day, you don’t hear stories of love and peace on the daily box at 6pm world wide, it is just too boring, I wouldn’t watch a dog rescue a cat from a tree.
CHAPTER 15
POSITIVE HEALTH ADVICE
Examples of success in health are vast and many. But you will not hear or find them in doctors surgeries, hospital counters or pharmacies. Why would you, they would not be in existence if no one had headaches or broken legs.
Face the truth. Again, this is to be told if we are going to talk successful health cures. Why is it one person can take vitiman c for a cold yet the next person has a cold five times a year and loads up on Codral, the common drug in Australia. Everyone knows the song, Soldier on with codral, soldier on, soldier on. I rattle if of now after not being in Australia for three years or seeing the commercial for over five years. Drugs are big business, don’t be naïve.
The topic I am very passionate about and for one reason only, I have seen these things happen in my own life and in others and know it is belief in drugs or natural medicines that keep a person well or keep a person sick their whole life.
I guess for me, I no longer see myself as sick all the time although I have accepted my doctors diagnosis from ten years ago. I accept it for sanity sake but don’t have a sick mentality anymore, as I am healthy in my heart, no matter what my life holds in the future, I am a happy girl.
Passionate I am but loving what I do in my family, work and spiritual life I am. I guess that has it’s demons that rear their ugly heads, but if I walked out and got hit by a bus tomorrow, I know I have lived a full and happy life, with love, helping others to the best of my ability. And what could anyone want more than that. For my life I am grateful, although I can be a horrid witch at times, I do things out of love most of the time or try to daily.
Well the success stories can be a lady having cancer, having chemotherapy, yet reading books on alternative health, making a 100 percent natural diet to replace the current one, then going on to live for another 20 or more years. I have seen this.
It doesn’t mean she always has cancer in her mind and goes for her check ups and worries like mad for her children. It simply means it is not the death sentence it has been fed to us to be. I still believe that all of us know someone who had died and we all should treat those with it with love and forgive ourselves if we upset them too. We are all human after all and allowed to make mistakes.
I am saying start to focus on healing from the inside out, from the foot to the head. Depression is linked to parts in your back as well as your head. I have been treated quicker and healed faster from depression and recovered without a tablet, from few needles in the right acupuncture points.
Previous to that, I was the biggest sceptic and thought that Chinese stuff is useless and dodgy like those things that people go and never really have much luck with but can have real trouble if they go to a back yard doctor. I thought, they can really make you sick if you get it wrong and secondly who would I know that could recommend a Chinese herbalist, there just is not many around and I doon’t know anyone who has used one.
Success is 1 percent inspiration 99 percent hard work. This is my second biggest hurdle I have with myself and others.
NEGATIVE VERSUS POSITIVE
Wow this one I could go on for hours about, especially since Bipolar is a bit like Squitsophrenic Disorder, I can have two personalities, that I am sure of, just ask my alter ego!
The many labels doctors have come up with can be your best friend and your worst enemy. They have come up with so many these days I don’t know if I am anxious, hypomanic, angry or just plain fed up with life! Ask my doctor he is also Bipolar and he is the biggest expert on what you can do to help yourself not be a victim, he has helped me a lot over the years. For that I am grateful
SECTION 2
WOMANHOOD
“It is a weakness that I lead from my heart, and not my head?”
Princess Diana
CHAPTER 14
There is Buddha for those who don’t know what he is, really. There is no Buddha for those who know what he is really.
Zen Proverb Quotes.
MUMMIES BE MINDFUL
This chapter is designed for mums, but read on I am sure there is stuff in here to help men and women of any background. Mums world wide have been reading books by men and written by men so mums it is your time to shine.
Go easy on yourself. I love that saying and it is something my husband would often say to me when I am having a diva moment to my disgust and annoyance at times. But I have found of late that this saying can be crucial in mummy life.
The reason for writing this is I have found that one of the things I struggled with as a mum the most was comparing myself to other mums and coming up second best. I then though, this is something I bet many mums also struggle with so please read on if you ever feel this way.
Have you ever felt like your methods of motherhood have not been like those of other supermums. I think all of us mums have at different times, I know I feel that way a lot. A decision I made recently was to not beat myself up over mistakes I make with my daughter no matter how big, I know it sounds crazy! Even though this may annoy some people in my life it has proven crucial for
my own development as a person and mother.
NO COMPARING
I always have not been the cleanest of people and that is my burden to carry I believe. In saying that I used to wish so much to be like those supermums who have a house, decked out to the hill and looking glamourous all of the time. I have since learnt even the supermums can have their times of mess and mahem which I guess helped me stop also. From realising I am not one of those mums who will ever be wondermum with the rooms all glistening I have learned to accept that my home is my home regardless of how it is. This may sound like giving up or resigning to the fact that I will never be a glamourpuss. Simply put this has saved my sanity!
YOUR WAY, THE BEST WAY
I
have learnt also being a mum, there are things I have to offer,
regardless of how I felt at different times. I have learnt that I am
the best at beating myself up, therefore I am also the one who can
praise myself if needed.
You may feel that your mummy ways
are not up to scratch, when you compare to those who may seem to do
better as a mum in your life. All of us have friends or family which
we think seem to breeze through life. Well hate to say it but those
mums also feel like they are not doing the best at different times in
their life so stop it and remember if your going to compare apples,
bring out your biggest! This simply means that if your going to
compare, compare your best quality or what is your biggest strength
to their weakest ability. Meaning all of us have things to offer. I
am hopeless in the house but I sure can dance attitude, trust me when
I say it attitude is everything! If your going to go in the ring with
Mike Tyson your not going to get out your frilly pink gloves for the
match!
YOUR VIEW IS A GOOD VIEW
Don't doubt what you bring to the table as a mum, and this means also when your talking relationships with dad also or other family members for that matter. This is tricky at times but something you need to address.
When being mum, it is my view right or wrong but that mums input is as important as dads even if dad is bring home the bacon. It can seem hard at times to transition to being mum if you have worked or wherever your from as mum. Remember just because your not bringing in money and same goes for working mums, opinions are as important from both parties. I think the tragic thing in society is that all things have a price tag, well sorry but mums at home, this is proven are as stressed as the super excecutive if not more! On top of that we are raising the worlds next leaders, artists and mini people, so do it with full force! Mums unite, wherever your from, doing or are in life, your all important and wonderful, don't forget this world has had wars over women!
DAILY PRACTICE
I will say last but not least, maybe the most important to me is daily practice or commitment to being better you. Not all people do this but it has proven the strongest thing and most important thing in my life, daily rituals. I daily practice qigong, swim, meditate and all that stuff but if I didn't I tell you my life would be down the toilet. I took years to get to this stage and don't say it to make myself look good, I have been in and out of hospitals too many times to mention but have found this is my one saving grace. I say it to put across that all of us can do something to make our lives better so start by doing something each day for five minutes like keeping a journal, doing a meditation as soon as your out of bed, walking just anything. Once you start this you will notice when you miss it you feel crappy. It also sets a precedent for making five minutes for yourself a day, more importantly. This will annoy others and may be difficult to begin but trust me you can do it and will do it today!
CHAPTER 15
What we have in excess is women. So if you want, we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands. Let them go to your place. They will create disasters. That way you can lessen our burden
Mao Zedong
MASCULINE VS FEMININE
This could be called ying and yang, weak or strong, whatever but we all know a woman scorned is one you don’t want at your place or talking in your ear.
I know when I am annoyed or heading to mania, heaven help my father, husband or any man who wants to calm me down and say I have a bad headache go and lie down.
I say this laughing but it is an important point none the less. I feel strongly a woman in touch with her feminity is much more powerful than a woman with short hair, suit, no scarf, even a high up politician of the female kind, take Pauline Hanson for example.
She is for those not Australian, a woman hell bent on making equality for all. She was a fish and chip shop owner who became a polititian and thorn in the side of many. I won’t go into politics to make my point, but will say, woman are equally powerful as men given half a chance.
Love being the basis of all things, means getting in touch with your energy masculine or feminine and embracing it. So if you’re a guy who is so talented with fashion, why not go and be a designer. This also means he may not be gay, stereotypes are dangerous. I know many people look at the movie Milk who are in male, male relationships and would defend a child to the death from danger. Here where I live transvestites, Catois so they are called are known to be good with children. An office I worked had a boy or girl receptionist, who did a fabulous job, and still got along with his mother.
In asia or where I live at least you can go to any make up counter for a makeover and if you get a boy, dressed as a girl, I think, well they will be good, they made themselves go from a boy to girl, give me your make up tips sure!
I guess the point I am making here is why is the west is it so crucial to bash up a person for their sexual preference, yet people by the thousands flock to asian countries for their plastic surgery or jobs never to return to their home country, no matter how their lives go, good or bad.
To me this means there must be something in the eastern culture the west longs for, yet the eastern culture also long to be more like the west, the movies at the cinemas are filled with Hollywood stars as well as 90 percent of commercials for food and drinks.
Why do woman always hate if they are at home with the children, and feel like they should say, I work a lot and can cook well for fear of being looked at by working mums.
On
the other hand why should working mums feel guilty for not spending
time with their children’s and feel bad for not being an at home
mum and say they can’t afford it.
I feel there is no simple answer to this, but one thing for sure is that the society of today needs to look back for a change and realize the dark ages had something to offer.
Look at Indian culture in the United States, there are similarities I am sure to the culture of the Aboriginals of Australia as well as the Greeks of Europe. We all started from one land mass, so why not realize we are all the same and perhaps the wars of today are not that different from the indigenous wars fought thousands of years ago. All wanted to fight for their cause back then, who are we to say, we know why and that today’s wars are more important.
In aboriginal culture there is a thing called women’s business. I know from a good friend, a woman is not supposed to play a digeridoo and most australians tread carefully with aboriginal affairs as they are the rightful owners of the land. Deep down we all know this no matter what we all say good or bad.
Womens business is to be revered and weaving and the like only 100 years ago in Australia was common place and the child rearing was something the men of the culture took seriously.
So why today is women’s jobs so undervalued even though they can earn 100 000 dollars no problems just like the men.
I don’t think the last twenty years of society has come that far for women even with the bra burning stage and women going to war as nurses and the like.
Still I feel a woman should not be in a war, yet many choose to go free and willing, and we let them. I guess men need a tender loving nurse as much as a weapon or gun. In a movie, yes movie a statistic was raised that most men in wars shoot to the side or sky away from the target, no matter from what country or hold high up they are. Most people don’t want to kill another, no matter what for.
I will leave this topic with a quote as it is ongoing and controversial and I only want to make on point. Women embrace your feminine power and men do the same. Be proud if you’re a mum, house wife or home maker. Be proud if your single mum raising your children and are on the single mums pension, one day you may go on to work at some point later in their life.
CHAPTER 16
It’s good to be just plain happy, it’s a little better to know that you’re happy, but to understand that you’re happy and to know why and how and till be happy, be happy in the being and the knowing, well that is beyond happiness, that is bliss.
Henry Miller
SWEAT IT OUT
Most people say to me or come to me and say oh you help people with stuff, I have this problem. Then I say, start by doing this. Well then the excuses start or the sob stories begin, however you want to put it, the barrier is up.
Then I for a time, pushed and probed and prodded and tried to get them to do the easiest option. This was my biggest downfall. If the people don’t want to do thai chi, stopping sugar for a week or writing a journal aint gonna happen. They just are not ready to change. Which means not all people want to heal. Most people are happy being sick.
This may be contradictary, but I am one of the biggest sooks and can be the worst for avoiding hard work. Say to me five years ago, go for a swim or walk around the block, I would have reached for a coffee and said get lost, I am meeting my friend for a coffee and a chat. That is not going to happen, ask someone else or preech your health nuttiness elsewhere I am not interested.
All I will say is do it would you rather be sick on medicine for ten years or a bit healthy and happy for twenty, your choice.
CHAPTER 17
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
Anthony Robbins
GREEN IS GOOD
Eat lot’s of green vegetables, just bulk up on broccoli, lettuce, even spinach if it so takes your fancy, you will feel healthier I guarentee it. I still love pumpkin and swear my daughter could survive on that alone, but greens give you muscles like pop eye, or so the story goes and I don’t mind having big muscles!
VEGETARIAN
Personally,I,can’t,do not vegan, I can’t do the whole no leather shoes thing, I am sorry. I do know since cutting down on meat, spiritually I feel better and my husband and I simply argue less.
We still eat when people come for parties, really guts into it too. We also go to barbeques or dinners and eat steak, pork, chicken the works, I can’t do without my lovely buffetts. I just found that for me the vegetarian rule sits well say 80 percent of the time. I just don’t enjoy plowing into a cow that once walked call me crazy.
I know a story that sticks with me well. And trust me I was one of those who had to obsessfully watch Peta commercials to finally make the switch, I just loved my steaks and couldn’t see it happening in a million years
A monk was teaching in a prison and met one of the hardest of criminals. The man I don’t know who or what he was in jail for aparantly was working on a farm at the prison and looked a cow in the eye with a tear rolling down. He said from that day on he would never touch meat. The cow made him crumble. This may sound funny but true it is.
Another friend although she is a nurse and tough as they come once drove past a farm of cows, saw two people with brut force push the cow over, viola, vegetarian. Makes me smile thinking of it, but such stories are true and impact the hardest of hearts. I know many of the people may go back to meat eating or maybe some don’t but for me, I don’t remember our visit to Dorsogna Brothers the most famous butcher in my home town fondly.
I volunteered to stuff a plastic wrapper with a leg of meat, I was the bravest of brave, but to be honsest, it felt disgusting and not nice and think, although the class watched me, I never quite felt the same about the company. They were also a rich farmer family, one of the most popular in Perth, funny how life works.
CHAPTER 18
Honor is obtained by eating this tasty dish; of all gifts, this is the greatest gift.
Sri Guru Granth Sahib
DAILY ALKALYSER
One part Apple cider vinegar, any brand will do, teaspoon is my limit, but add a full table spoon if you can hack it.
Equal part honey, same rule applies.
Then fill up the cup with water, hot, cold it doesn’t matter.
Drink or wolf down as I do, it takes some getting used to and your good to go. This is good if you’re a sugar and coffee lover like me and just need a quick fix!
INGESTION KILLER
Bicarbonate soda or baking soda, one teaspoon again, with water, hot or cold coffee mugs worth and viola you will burb out that pain in your chest.
Beware: don’t do in a coffee shop or shopping mall, you may feel bit embarresed.
Another thing I found helped me with doing daily rituals, some weeks I do none of them and that is also ok, as if I have much on I simply forget and get back on band wagon week after.
SWEAT SUGAR
Sugar is a subject much talked about and my opinion is enjoy it, don’t make a fuss like it is be all and end all to life. For me I can overdose on it for a day and feel totally manic and not sleep but I think enjoying a mint chocolate is more important than having a complete sugar ban.
For many they say, it can cause this blues and that, but for me in and out I enjoy it. I think as long as your not obese or twenty kilos overweight, it is not an issues. But then I have been through times in life where I was more comfortable at eighty kilos and still I see others that carry a few pounds, but feel great and do good things in life.
Who are we to say if someone is fat they are an over eater if they work in an Italian restaurent, food would be their passion! I know a friend who owns a restaurent, drinks a bottle of wine probably daily, he has stopped smoking but is 80 years old and happier than most, with his life and family.
I guess many people have opinions on this and that for me, I believe live and let live as Paul McCartney said best. Why is it we all get inspired by movies such as dangerous minds and love all in it, but when it comes to crunch, we would rather not give someone a chance at an education for fear of what they will do with it.
So I to this day love sugar and go in and out of addiction to it, but if it wasn’t sugar I may be back on the cigarettes and drink so I think I am happy how I am today. I prefer to have a day of binging, parties and cocktails then sleep for 12 hours the next day, if the week is one of those weeks. That would help me over a manic phase quicker than you can say boo! Doctors would cringe at the thought, but it has kept me well for three years and counting.
In moderation is what they all say, but moderate lives are just not worth living I think, lets indulge once in a while! God knows the world couldn’t live without chocolate cake, but hey I am a woman!
WRITE IT ALL DOWN
I am not talking about food diaries but food for the mind is also self talk in my belief. It can be as powerful as a good stir fry eaten daily, no matter what weight watchers have you believe. I am also a weight watchers life time member. I don’t mind, I lost the weight and am proud of it.
I still hate to do this as I usually know it is crunch time and time for change. I usually do so as last resort but then can change a focus quickly for the next day to come.
Basically, if I have a week from hell, I will write non stop for about three days or a week, what ever it takes then at end get rid of the useless stuff and replace it with a new thought or food. Some weeks sugar may need to be cut down, but most times I find, my focus is fear. This can then be a fear, anger tug of war and if I think ok, now it is time for love or courage, the week after seems like a breeze.
Make not each week and person is different. So what you write will be unique to you and what needs changing will also vary considerably. Afterall if all weeks had the same dilemas, the world wouldn’t be interesting.
SECTION 3
LIVE
Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin.
Mother Theresa
CHAPTER 1
POEMS TO LIVE BY
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for,
forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much
greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Mother
Theresa
Take good care of
yourself
Pacharee Pantoomano
Good works are links that form a chain of
love.
Mother Theresa
I feel like my body has been hit by a truck (again), but gym this afternoon.
Vachini Nueng Krairish
Hugs
do the world of good - especially for children
Princess
Diana
You can heal your
life
Louise Hay
Do you really want to look back on
your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been
afraid to live it
Carolyn Myss
Diserata
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