Broccoli?
Patch Pirates Adventures
What the pirates love best
A special book about a special girl, a special pirate and a special food
By
Mom
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2011 by Dean Derkson
Copyright © 2011 Adam Kolodny
Story by Dean Derkson
Illustrations by Adam Kolodny
Copyrights belong to the creators
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
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Dear Claire: I’ve got to tell you what happened to me last week . One day in port the Captain and I were out to dinner:
“Here Scurvy, try this strange food,” the Captain said to me.
“Oh OK,” I replied as I put some of the strange stuff in my mouth. “Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp.
Wow, that's sour. Is it rotten? What is it?”
“It's called broccoli. I like the sour taste and its good for you,” said the Captain.
“Good for me!?” I said. “HA, eating yucky stuff is good for me? How would you know?”
“Well I AM the Captain and I AM three years older than you. Anyway I bought some of this for myself and I need to take it to the ship. Can you get it there for me?” said the Captain.
“Aye aye, Captain,” I said. “How much did you get?”
“Eight barrels,” said the Captain.
“EIGHT BARRELS!?” I said thinking that's a lot of yucky stuff to swallow.
“UMPfH,” I grunted loading all the barrels onto a cart.
“UMPfH,” I grunted pulling the cart to the ship.
At the ship I had to, “UMPfH,” unload the barrels and “UMPfH,” ROLL ROLL ROLL them all up the gangplank.
Crow was just sitting there watching me.
“Hey Scurvy, what's in all the barrels?” Crow asked me.
“It's a special food called broccoli for the Captain only,” I replied. “It makes you go nom glack mlah mlah zuurp.”
“Sure is a lot of it,” said Crow.
“Yup,” I replied pushing another barrel up the plank.
“Is one barrel open? Can I try it?” asked Crow.
“Hey! It's the Captain's only. Don't touch.” I said.
“That just makes it more interesting,” Crow said.
I finished loading the barrels of broccoli and went about my duties checking the ship for leaks.
Pretty soon Crow came below and I saw him head to where I put the broccoli.
“Hey what do you think you are doing?” I said to him.
“I'm getting me a taste of the Captain's special food. That's what I'm doing. You're not going to rat on me are ya?” said Crow.
“No,” I replied. “But if you get caught I won't defend you.”
Crow took a bite. “Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp, that's nice and sour. I gotta give some of this to Swab,” he said.
He got a bowl and took some to the bunks.
I can't believe he liked it.
I could hear them talking in the bunks.
“Hey Swab want to try some of this?” Crow asked.
“What is it?” said Swab.
“Its something for the Captain ONLY. Its called broccoli,” said Crow.
“Won't the Captain find out you're taking his stuff?” said Swab.
“There are EIGHT barrels of it in storage. He'll never find out,” said Crow.
“Well then let’s try it,” said Swab.
I chuckled. Swab is going to spit it up.
“Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp, that's great.” Swab said. “It tastes nice and sour.”
“What? How could he like it? It's yucky.” I muttered.
Then they headed for Jane's bunk.
I heard them chatting again.
Hey it sounds like she is gonna try it.
I gotta stop them from eating that terrible broccoli. I walk in the door.
“Gulp. Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp,” says Jane. “Wow that is sour. Where did you get it?”
“It's from the Captain's private stash,” I said. “You're stealing food from the Captain.”
“What!?” said Jane.
“Scurvy, have you eaten any?” said Swab.
“Well, yeah. The Captain gave me some when we were in port having lunch.” I said.
“Well if the Captain 'gave' you some then I can try it,” said Swab.
“But I think its yucky,” I replied.
I went up on deck to speak to the Captain.
“Captain I need to talk to you about something.” I said.
“Just a moment Scurvy,” the Captain said.
First Mate Jack was there. He and the Captain were talking about something.
“You want me to eat that yucky broccoli too?” said First Mate Jack.
“You need to eat it so the crew will think it is good to eat. Broccoli is good for them,” said the Captain
“Scurvy here has been helping by telling everyone it is the Captains only and pirates like to steal things,” said the captain.
“Yes pirates would eat any food as long as they think it is stolen,” said First Mate Jack.
“What, I am being used to advertise yucky food,” I said.
“I'll only eat it if Jack does. He is, after all, a very picky eater.” I said.
“It’s a deal,” said the Captain.
That evening at dinner the Captain had Cookie bring him a bowl of broccoli for the whole crew to see.
The Captain took a bite, “Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp.”
“Hey Scurvy what's that the Captain is eating?” Pegleg asked me quietly.
“That's that broccoli that the Captain had me haul to the ship this afternoon,” I said. “It’s for the Captain only.”
“The Captain only, you don't say,” said Pegleg.
So we all could hear the Captain said, “Hey Cookie could you get another bowl of broccoli for First Mate Jack? He'd like to try some.”
Cookie got him a bowl.
Jack put some in his mouth, “Nom glack mlah mlah yuhhhhhh.”
“Alright, he is going to spit it out,” I thought.
Then suddenly with a “Gulp” and a “Zurp” Jack swallowed.
I looked on amazed.
I whispered to Pegleg, “Wow look, First Mate Jack ate some broccoli and he is a pickier eater than I am.”
“Then it must be good. I'm gonna get me some later,” Pegleg said to me.
Later that night I snuck below deck to the Captain's barrels of broccoli to face my fears.
“Hey, Who goes there?” Pegleg and First Mate Jack called.
“It's me, Scurvy, what are YOU two doing down here?” I replied.
“We're here to get some broccoli for a snack,” said Pegleg and First Mate Jack. “And you?”
“I told the Captain that I'd eat it if you ate it,” I said to First Mate Jack.
“The Captain had to kick me under the table to get me to swallow it the first time. I'm here to try it again,” said First Mate Jack.
“Well here goes... Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp, thats nice and sour,” said Pegleg.
“Me too,” said First Mate Jack. “Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp, that is not as bad as last time.”
I took a bite, “Nom glack mlah mlah Bleah, it’s still yucky.”
“What are you going to do when the Captain finds out you're taking his stuff?” I asked.
“Well, you do know, the Captain wants all the crew to eat it as it is good for you. And everyone likes it except you. So your choice is eat it and like it or eat it and don't like it.” replied First Mate Jack.
A few evenings later I was feeling a bit hungry so I went down to the galley.
“Well, what shall I grab ...
Cheese ... no, that will give me bad dreams.
Coffee ... no, that will keep me awake.
Sausage ... no, that is too heavy in my stomach.
Aw shoot, what I want is something sour.”
I got a small bowl of broccoli, took a big bite, and headed up to the deck.
There was the Captain standing there, “Good to see you're eating well, Scurvy.”
“Nom glack mlah mlah zuurp,” I replied.
