Reclaiming Your Soul
Reclaiming Your Soul
Working With the Mystery
Awakening Your Authentic Self in an Insensitive & Spiritually Detached Society
or,
Embracing Your Experience and Awakening Your Authentic Self in an Insensitive & Spiritually Detached Society
by Brian David Snyder
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When you finally learn to love yourself,
you will dissolve all the stones that are cast.
-The Indigo Girls
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So, there you are, lying on your deathbed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. You scroll back through everything that happened in your entire life up to that point, and all you can think is... “What was that all about?” Suddenly, everything that you ever worried about happening or not happening in your entire life seems so infinitesimally small and unimportant, that you begin to wonder... “Oh, my god,” you think. “What did I do with my life? Did I miss the point? Why did I make the decisions I did?” You wonder, “Why did I ever worry at all, to begin with?” Then, the big questions come... “What could I have done differently? How could I have brought more well-being into my life?” Then, suddenly, you realize that you COULD have appreciated your life, much, much, much... MUCH more than you did.
Either you simply didn’t know HOW to appreciate living/being, or for some reason, you decided a long time ago to NOT appreciate living/being. That was the norm, so you bought into it. You decided, “Life is serious. Very serious. I need to take it very, very seriously.” So, you lived a very serious life, and then you ended up on a very serious bed, looking at a very serious ceiling... in a very serious way. It’s then you realize, you made an egregious error. You COULD have taken life less seriously. You COULD have laughed more. You COULD have played with life. You could have taken better care of yourself, without apology. You COULD have done any number of things to improve your life, but you just didn’t. You begin to feel foolish, like you are the butt of some kind of cosmic joke. Then, you realize, nobody played the joke on you. You played the joke on yourself, and society fully supported you in playing this joke on yourself. By your own decisions and your own actions, you sabotaged your very own happiness. You vow that in your next life you will make the most of being in a physical body, as you slip into the next world.
As if through a wormhole of swirling memories, you are sucked through stars and planets, until... SNAP! Coming back fifty years, you’re back in your seat, and like Ebenezer Scrooge, you begin coming to your senses. “Oh, my God. I’ve been asleep for over 25 years. I spend most of my existence complaining, and I don’t even know how to enjoy being ME. Things have to change, or I’ll live and die this way. I don’t want that. I want to learn how to play with life. I want to learn how to feel alive, again. I want to learn how to love living.”
Unfortunately, many people don’t know how to enjoy living. I mean, let’s get real (whatever reality is... :] ...,) are we ever encouraged or taught how to enjoy living? Are we encouraged to play with life? I’d say that’s a resounding “NO.” We are taught that happiness is always around the next corner, and the next, and the next, but never here, now. We are taught to everything very, very, very seriously, and to not smile. The funny thing is that we can accomplish the same amount of work, and enjoy ourselves simultaneously. In fact, I’d venture to guess that we would accomplish MORE work if we incorporated PLAY into our schedule.
Our society is absurd, to put it kindly. We are taught that objects are more important than people, that love is something you give to one person, forever, and that the more unique you are, the more important you are, and the better you’ll feel. We are never taught that we are all connected, love is something you share with everybody and everything, and that the more you dissolve your sense of ‘self,’ the more wonderful you will feel. We are never taught to enjoy each others’ company, simply for being. Imagine a world where people actually touch each other! Ooooooh. Did I just SAY that!? Oh, no, we couldn’t have that. A world where people actually touch one another, and it’s not only acceptable, but encouraged! Ooooooooh. Did I just SAY that!? NO! We must walk around like robots, with earplugs in, or on our cell phones and defending our pathetic egos which keep us from experiencing true joy. After all, we are all so very different, aren’t we? WAKE UP, PEOPLE. WE ARE BECOMING ROBOTS.
“All of that is very well and nice, Brian. But, how, exactly, are you going to teach us how to enjoy living? Can that be taught? You have no idea what I’ve been through. I’ve tried everything and I’m a hopeless case. Nobody can help me.” All of these things and more, you say. To which I respond, “The times, they are a-changing, my friend. Just because something hasn’t happened to you yet, doesn’t mean it WON’T happen to you. You are steering the ship, now. You can’t control the wind or the water, but you can control the sails. It all comes down to choice. You always have a choice, and a next choice, and a next choice. The future is not set in stone, and the potential for your joy is so great that I promise you, it is well within your reach. Once you’ve stuck your foot in the door to a better life and a better way of being in the world, that door will not close. You’ve started down a path that will grow wider, wider, and more glorious as you go. You’ve opened a door that will open wider, wider, and will not shut on you, ever again. You’ve asked for grace, and grace is beginning to shine upon you. You’ve plugged into a network of people who are interested in one thing, and one thing only. Your happiness. Why? Because, they understand that your happiness equals their happiness. You’ve left the cold, rainy street, and walked into a warm inn, full of people who have been waiting for you since time forgotten. There is bread in the oven, and warm hugs from every person in the room. You are not alone in this. We are all in this together. Even me, as I’m writing this, let me reassure you that I am not alone in this. I am a part of your healing as you are a part of mine. Without each other, we are nothing. With each other, we are everything. No, you are not alone in this. Your sadness will pass. Your tears will be cried. Your sorrow will heal. Not too long from now, you will cross the tear threshold, and begin climbing the joy ladder. And, I’ll be there with you. We’ll both look at each other and say, ‘Wow. Did you ever think we would make it this far?’ To which, you will respond, ‘I knew it all along. I just didn’t know I knew it.’”
“The sad thing is that most people never live at all,” said Socrates to Dan in the book, ‘Way of the Peaceful Warrior.’ The reason most people never live at all is because they are rushing to the finish line with blinders on, worrying about what everybody else is thinking, and missing everything in-between. What happens is this. We grow in Earth age, and we somehow forget our true nature. We forget that underneath all the ego, the goals, the desires, the products, the masks, the roles we play, the fears, the defenses, and the garbage that we were taught, exists a being that is wide-eyed and full of wonder... with a joyful, loving, playful heart.
Life isn’t about having what you want, but wanting what you have. Do you want to live a life of enormous quantity and very little quality... or would you rather live a life of extreme quality, for just one day? Your journey is about shedding everything that keeps you and others from seeing that being of Light that you most truly are. That’s what Reclaiming Your Soul is all about. It’s about remembering who you are, before you learned to be who you’re not. Most people have forgotten that they have options. Your goal is to remember that you always have options, and the best decision you can make is the one that feels right, intuitively. This moment could very well be the first step on your journey to enlightenment. Remember that it is a journey, and that you cannot push the river. Also, remember, the only way out is through. So, when times get tough, and you plunge into the long, dark night of the soul, remember that we are walking with you. Be gentle with yourself. Always, be gentle with yourself. In the end, nobody cares if you loved your life or you hated your life, but either way, you have to live it. So, let’s go now and gather the lost fragments of yourself and put you back together, that you may operate on all cylinders once again, and be the beam of Light you were born to be. Let’s Reclaim Your Soul. (:]...Smile, here.)
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I used to think I was here to change the world,
Now, I know that the world is here to change me.
(And, that’s how I’ll change the world.)
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Life is a mystery.
You can work with the mystery, or against the mystery.
Work WITH the mystery.
Watch the miracles as they unfold around you.
If you welcome the mystery with open arms, there you will BE joy.
The way I see it, you can either fight with the unfolding of your life, or work with it. I know people who have chosen both ways. The people who are working WITH the unfolding of their lives are much, much happier. It’s all about deciding the content of what you want in your life, and then allowing the form to take shape, as it will. Now, if you’d like to choose the alternative method, go for it! May blessings shower upon you.
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Okay, let me start over. I was working in the Herb Room at my college, today, and I wrote a new introduction. So, I decided that instead of erasing the older introduction, I would simply add this one, to make two.
So, starting over. Ech-hem. As I was saying, your life can be glorious. Your life can be so much fun that you want to giggle with gratitude just thinking about it. The question is, “What’s keeping you from experiencing joy on a daily basis, as a regular occurrence, as a way of life?” What or who is stopping you from enjoying yourself? What or who is stopping you from spiritual growth? You have options, you know. (((In my healing practice, I have a technique I call Soul Integration, which is essentially pin-pointing what it is people DO enjoy about living, and incorporating those activities into their experience.))) If you don’t have a feeling of where you WANT to go, you end up wherever you are. It’s the whole insanity definition of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you are enlightened, that’s great. As for those who still seek enlightenment, they need to surround themselves with things and activities they love. Even enlightened beings surround themselves with things and activities they love, until everything they see or do becomes love. (while at the same time, loving everything and everyone they come across.) Being enlightened doesn’t mean being better than anyone else. It simply means being full of light, and enjoying your life. Thus, the undeniable magnitude of importance of knowing just what it is that makes you smile, and surrounding yourself with those objects, or activities, or experiences. What makes a person smile is different for everybody, in form, but essentially the same. Physical activities that move the body in new and exciting ways. A healthy amount of human touch and playfulness. Learning new skills or information. We are not one-dimensional creatures. We are not robots. We are not intended to become so serious that life itself is no longer enjoyable. We are not intended to be disconnected from nature and the natural rhythm of life. We are playful, joyful creatures who are intricately connected with nature and all that is.
Here’s a question for you. Why live an unhappy life? Just to keep your body alive for fear of death? That doesn’t sound like a very good reason. Sounds like a sad, sad way to go. No, forget about that. Your life can and will be phenomenally wonderful. That is, if you ALLOW it to be. All limitations you set, you set upon yourself. YOU HAVE OPTIONS. That’s what life is. An endless stream of options & possibilities. That’s why it’s so important for you to think before you act. Think with your heart before you act with your body. Go in directions that support your growth & enjoyment, and forgo those activities that keep you stuck. Search through magazines of activities, people and objects you love, and paste them on the wall if you have to. Pictures of people dancing, surfing, and making love. Pictures of trees and flowers and the beauty of nature. Pictures of people enjoying themselves. Call it your Wall of Love. Place everything you enjoy about this world on that wall, and every time you look at it you will remember everything and everyone that make your life so enjoyable. That way, you will know what it is that brings you joy, ergo, what you want from life. More joy. If you don’t know what brings you joy, how are you going to surround yourself with joy? Of course, these activities, people and objects that bring you joy are only part of the equation. The other part is spirit.
Without spirit, no amount of activities, people or objects will fill your soul with love. Spirituality is about deepening your connection to the divine source of love, so that those activities, people and objects you love will just be icing on the cake of divine love. That way, instead of looking to those activities, people and objects to fill you up, you are already full when you approach them. Spirituality enables you to experience contentment, with or without those activities, people or objects. Of course, it’s always better if they’re around.
Know yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself without apology. You should NEVER apologize for taking good care of yourself. If somebody around you has a problem with you taking care of yourself, then that is NOT love. That is control. If somebody truly loves you, they will want you to do what’s best for YOU.
You’ve gotta laugh about this life. Don’t take this so seriously. Reclaiming Your Soul is about learning to stay in, and operate from, present time. In present-time, the past doesn’t matter, and you are free to create. Create love. Impress no one but yourself.
In today’s modern society, we have much to learn about how to enjoy living. We know how to survive, but there is something MAJOR missing. Something that no amount of products from Wal-Mart will fulfill.
The material-only model of reality just ain’t workin’
What’s missing is spiritual acknowledgment and cooperation with spirit. In my experience, I have discovered that nurturing the spirit is equally as important as nourishing the body, or sharpening the mind. It’s like lifting weights for the soul. At first, you can’t lifts 3 pounds, but after a little while (depending upon your attention and devotion to your practice,) you can pump 350. “What’s the point of being able to pump 350 spiritual pounds?” you might ask, to which I would reply, “Well, no point, really, except for, without working your spiritual muscle, a longing will develop in your being which no other exercise could fill.”
Many people end up walking the Earth like the living dead, just ‘trying to get through’ life. Looking at objects and each other as means to an end. Something or someone to be exploited. Why is this? What are we doing wrong? I’ll tell you. We are not connecting with one another, the planet or ourselves on an authentic level. We are not appreciating one another, the planet, or ourselves. We don’t appreciate and love one another, simply for existing, the planet, simply for existing, or ourselves, simply for existing. Instead, we see each other as obstacles to be avoided with or dealt with. This must change for us to evolve to the next level. We need to learn to slow down and love in the way the word “love” was meant to be used. Not “love,” as a way of controlling another human being, but “love” as a way of supporting everything and everyone around us. Control does not equal love. Hate does not equal joy. And, age does not equal wisdom.
Before you can learn to love another, you need to learn to love yourself. That means taking a good look at yourself and seeing where things are and aren’t working. You see, what happens is this. We are born these incredible, flawless beings, and we are slowly, but certainly, begin to hide our light, because we want to match the darkness around us. (((pieces of ourselves along the way. What kind of pieces? Pieces that our relatives disapproved of, or we suppressed to make others happy.))) In my case, I hid my Light, my beauty, my enthusiasm for existence, so that other people would be more comfortable around me. I allowed myself to be emotionally and psychologically abused to make other people feel comfortable. Who knows why, but I began to forget who I REALLY was, absorbing so much energetic crap I was constantly being bombarded with. I forgot that I was a LIGHT being in a shadowy world. Eventually, I learned how to maintain my light in a room of darkness, however, it has taken practice and a greater understanding and heightened perception of energetics between people.
While growing up, many of us begin to say, “I am this and I am not that,” and we develop an ego, or separate identity, and put ourselves into little boxes. Sooner or later, that box begins to make us feel so claustrophobic that we feel like we’re choking on a lack of oxygen. We begin to realize (by our late twenty’s, usually,) that there are parts of ourselves missing. Not physical parts, but rather, spiritual.
You may realize that you have been over-accommodating to others, at your own expense, because you grew up trying to make your family happy. Or, you may realize that you let others push you around, because you were raised to ‘take it.’ Or, you may realize that the masculine/feminine aspects of your personality are out of balance, and need to be aligned. Or, you may realize that everything you love you were told is a waste of time, and begin to pretend like you don’t love it, anymore. Or, you may realize that you are simply exhausted from trying to make somebody happy who has decided long ago that they will never be happy. Or, you may realize that the way you’ve been living your life just feels soulless, and you need to find a better way of being in the world. Or, you may realize that life is too short to waste doing something your heart is not 100% in. Or, you may realize that life is too long to live the way you’ve been living... heartlessly. Or, you may realize that you’ve been living somebody else’s idea of a good life, but for you, is Hell on Earth. Or, you may simply recognize that you no longer feel like you’re living, and that you are just going through the motions. These are all signs that there are lost fragments of your soul floating around in the Universe, and you need to reclaim them. Once you realize that you need to Reclaim Your Soul, there is no turning back. Everything becomes so uncomfortable that business as usual will no longer work. You will reach a point where you can no longer smile and put on an act that you are happy, when in truth, you are beyond miserable.
Human beings were never meant to sit in little gray cubes, behind flashing screens, pushing around papers and acting happy while their souls are dying. It’s not natural. It’s inhumane. We each need to find a way to reclaim our souls. That means ritual, connection with nature, appreciation of the self, and a way of living that celebrates existence. Being miserable isn’t natural... it’s learned. We learn how to stop dancing, how to stop singing, how to stop laughing, how to stop loving and touching, how to stop feeling, how to stop BEING. We learn how to be little robots. Little robots rarely laugh heartfelt laughter. You can quote me on that.
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Life is not about understanding the world and everything in it.
No, life is not about having all the answers.
Life is about being okay with not having the answers.
Life is about enjoying what you do not understand.
WORK WITH THE MYSTERY.
Don’t solve yourself. Enjoy yourself.
There are enough people in this world willing to beat you up.
Don’t beat yourself up along with them.
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DISCLAIMER:
The most spiritual thing you can do is enjoy your life. Enjoy the passing of time, no matter what is happening. That, and laugh a lot. That, and do no harm, (especially to yourself!,) whether it be psychological, physical, emotional or otherwise. Remember, if you can’t laugh about all of this, then you’re missing the point. Life on Earth can be amazing, if we will all agree to allow it to be.
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All life is is a series of consecutive decisions,
that all lead you to where you are,
right now.
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DISCLAIMER #2:
The idea for this book came from my desire to share my experience of discovering Qi (prana, life-force, motive-force) & spirituality; And the phenomenal journey I am presently experiencing. Many people come to spirituality after a major trauma threatens business-as-usual. My story is no different. It’s called the journey of a “wounded healer.” Many of the great healers are “wounded healers.” Perhaps, one day, I, too, will be a great healer.
After experiencing a heartbreaking loss, many people go searching for what they believe to be true, and for me, organized religion was not sitting well in my gut. Something about that whole, “Jesus died for YOUR sins,” thing made me think... “Hmm. My sins, huh? Jesus died for MY sins?” That’s interesting, because I’ve been nothing but a peacemaker for my entire life. So, I should still feel guilty about something? Hmm. This doesn’t sound right.” After becoming disillusioned by organized religion, I decided to delve further into my own spirituality to discover exactly what I believed to be true. The results have been so incredibly glorious, beautiful and satisfying. Imagine a world where you are not programmed that we are inherently “bad,” and have to spend the rest of your life apologizing for your “badness.” Can you even imagine that? Chances are, you, too, have been programmed to believe that you are a bad person. Let me dispel that lie right now. There is no such thing as good and bad. There is only energy moving in and out of form. There are only experiences to be had. Experiences that inform us, “Well, I better not do that again,” or, even better, “This feels right. I’m going to keep walking this way.”
You are completely loved by the Universe. How do I know this? Because, as my friend and Reiki Master, Sarah, would say, “You are what the Universe is doing.” Think about that. If you ARE what the Universe is doing, then why spend your whole life apologizing to the Universe? Or, you can think of it as, “You are what God is doing.” If you ARE what God is doing, then why spend your whole life apologizing to God? That’s like saying, “You gave me life... I’m sorry I’m alive. I apologize for you creating me.” Hmm. Feeling guilty for existing is not natural. You would never experience guilt if you were not taught how by society. You eventually reach a point when you scream, “I am tired of apologizing for my existence! I am here, and I am amazing. I am so incredible, and the Universe loves me, and I love me, and you know what? I am going to enjoy this life, because it is MY LIFE.”
None of the great masters who walked this Earth ever desired to be worshipped. All they ever wanted was to be emulated. Jesus did not want us to worship him. Jesus wanted us to walk with him. I love Jesus, and I also love myself. Jesus and I are of the same heart (... that was an Indigo Girls shout out...) Jesus is no better than I am, although he may have been more spiritually realized and had greater spiritual powers. However, there is no “better.” Ultimately, we are equals. We are both children of the Universe. We are all equals. We are all children of the Universe. “Following” a great master does not mean walking around and saying, “Look, there’s that guy who I will never be as great as. Isn’t he great? Wow. I could never be that great.” “Following” a great master means following his teachings, not his incarnation. We are all “God” in bodies. The problem is, most of us don’t believe this, and so we pretend that we are unworthy of eternal love. Not only are we worthy of eternal love, we ARE eternal love. We forget this. We are taught that we are unworthy. We are all worthy. How could this not be true? How could all be ‘one,’ and some be unworthy? Do the math.
Over the past few years, I have read many novels on spirituality, some of my favorites being, “A Course in Miracles,” “Way of the Peaceful Warrior,” “You are God, Get Over It!,” and the “Conversations with God,” series. Many of the concepts mentioned in this book are also found in the aforementioned books, which have inescapably influenced this writing. My intention is not to rewrite those books in a different way, but rather, to add to the wealth that has already been provided by so many other writers. The way I am presenting my experiences with spiritual growth may speak to you in a way that the other books didn’t, and provide you with some insights you’ve been looking for. I achieve this by speaking directly to what your heart already intuitively knows, however, has yet to discover; Or, I could say, uncover.
What justifies the writing of this book, and sets it apart from its influences, is its personal nature. I have had to overcome many obstacles within and without myself. All of which, I am positive that many people are currently struggling with. This book is intended to reach those people, and say to them, “Hey, I have been there, too; And, here is the help I discovered which you may not have found, yet. There is hope! Let’s do this.” This book is more practical than it is esoteric. It is my hope that someone who is in the deepest depths of despair will find my book, and be so touched with love that they will transform their approach to life from one of horror & sadness, to one of peace & love.
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Enjoy your life... THIS IS IT.
It’s not something that happens later.
So, GO DANCING!
ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
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DISCLAIMER #3:
While spirituality is a gift, so is physicality. In fact, the entire purpose of spirituality (in my view,) is so that we can learn to fully enjoy and embrace our physicality. While tending to your spirituality, do not neglect or reject your physicality. We must blend the two, beautifully, and not tend to one more than the other. Just as we have a masculine/feminine side, we also have a spiritual/physical side. Any kind of imbalance leads to trouble. We are all caught between two worlds. It’s our job to keep them in balance. It’s the whole paradox of physical existence. We aren’t from here, and yet we are here, so what do we do while we’re here? I’m here, but I’m not from here. Why am I here? Many people spend their entire lives wishing they weren’t here. Other people love being here. I believe that spirituality is recognizing that you are more than your physical body, and cannot be contained, while at the same time recognizing that you were put here, so you might as well be of service while you’re here, and ENJOY YOURSELF, if it’s the first thing you do.
What’s most important in life is finding joy in how you spend your time. Like James Taylor sang, “The secret of life is enjoying the passing of time...” I wrote a song that goes, “The secret of life is have nothing to hide...” If you have nothing to hide, then it’s much easier to enjoy the passing of time. So, if your spiritual journey becomes a chore, you are missing the point. I know that when I began my spiritual journey, I wanted to leave the people of the world to destroy each other and go live in a cave or a commune. I took my spiritual journey very, very seriously, and judged people who weren’t spiritual as somehow worse or inferior to myself. I even made a bumpersticker that read, “You are not your car,” just to let the people around me know that I saw through their meaningless ego games. Then, one day I realized that we are all equal, no matter what intelligent or absurd decisions we are making. I was rejecting people. Any rejection is a waste of energy. I came to the conclusion that everything except for spirituality was meaningless, and began losing enjoyment in life.
Now, a couple of years into my spiritual journey, I have come to see everything and everyone as sacred. Nothing is better, nothing is worse, everything just IS. We must embrace our experience on this planet, fully. Spirituality gives us a point of reference to know that there is much, much more, and also gives us much more strength with which to face the world. That is the purpose of spirituality. It’s something you find when you are disillusioned with pettiness, and you are searching for healing. You delve into it as deeply as you can, and you come back knowing that you can still live in the world, and choose to not take part in the pettiness. Spirituality shows us how to walk this world as elegant spirits. “I am an elegant spirit, joyfully moving through this world with grace, maturity & poise.”
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Every thought is a prayer. Every word is a prayer. Every movement is a prayer.
Every minute is a prayer. Every hour is a prayer. Every day is a prayer.
Everything is prayer.
Every prayer is answered.
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(Welcome to the inside of my head.)
I have no idea what I am doing on this planet. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, for whatever reason, has decided to give me a human experience. “What am I supposed to do!” I scream. “What do you want from me?” “There is nothing you have to do,” I hear. “Nothing to do, nowhere to go.” But, what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Are you telling me that there is nothing I have to create to be worthy of being here? There is nothing I have to do but experience this experience? I don’t need to understand it? I don’t need to create it? I don’t need to control it? I don’t need to agree with it? I just need to experience it? Is this what you’re telling me? Because, every attempt I’ve ever made to solve my life or this world has failed. Are you telling me, I don’t need to know how my acupuncture needles are made, I just need to know how to use them? I don’t need to know how the herb bottles and wrappers are made, I just need to know how to read them? “Everything in your life is being provided from the Universe. “ So, you’re telling me that I don’t need to do anything? I don’t need to create anything? “Exactly. Simply allow goodness to come into your life.” That sounds too easy. No. I must make my life difficult.
When I was younger, I used to think, “When I am older, I will understand what’s going on, here. I will understand life.” Now that I am getting older, the more I realize that I don’t understand anything at all. I used to think, “When I am older, I will be happier, because I will have become somebody, and I will know what’s going on.” Now that I am older, I realize that you never become somebody, because you already ARE somebody. There is nothing to become except for who you already are. You never know what’s going on, because there’s too much going on. You can’t even begin to understand it. And, why would you want to understand it? The mystery would disappear. Your only job on this planet is to experience what is happening, fully, right where you are. Don’t try to understand it. Don’t try to create it. Don’t try to control it. Don’t agree or disagree with it. Simply experience it. Try to enjoy it. Really, really try to enjoy it.
Once you realize that you are not in control, there is nothing left to worry about. Worry comes from a desire for a specific ending, however, there ARE no endings, so why worry? It’s all one fluid continuation of life. If you wait until you understand the world and everything in it to be happy, you will never be happy, because it is beyond your understanding. However, if you acknowledge right now that you will never understand what is going on down here, then you are more likely to enjoy it without judgment. Simply experience what is. That is all you have to do.
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You look at me and see a person.
I look at you and see eternity.
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Repeat after me.
“It is not my job to solve the world and everything in it.”
“It is only my job to master myself.”
“Most of this society cares nothing for my health and happiness, so I will choose my friends with care.”
“If I wait for somebody to tell me how to take care of myself,
I will be waiting forever.”
“If I am waiting for somebody to tell me I can live a joyful life,
I will be waiting forever.”
“If I want the life I see and feel to improve,
it is up to me to make different choices.”
“I have all the tools I need to become a fiercely independent,
and unreasonably happy person.”
“If I want to live my life with purpose,
I need to begin making some different decisions.”
“There is nothing I need to do to be deserving of love.”
“I am going to enjoy the rest of my life, because I choose to do so.”
“I am going to enjoy the rest of my life,
even though I don’t understand this world or anything in it.”
“It’s decision time.”
It’s decision time.
Are you gonna love this life, or not?
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How much joy are you willing to allow into your life?
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A shortcut to peace...
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BUT THINK FAR BEYOND YOURSELF
I am not sure this paragraph belongs here, but it’s one of the most important messages I have to relay, so here is where it is. Our first priority is to take care of ourselves. The only way to help #2 is to help #1. It’s a simple Universal Law. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else. One of the hardest lessons I have been learning in this life is that it’s not my job to make other people happy. In fact, it’s only my job to make myself happy.
Now, here comes the secret to happiness. You will never be happy in your own mind, rolling thoughts over and over and flipping them around this way and that, like some ferris wheel that’s gone out of control. The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more miserable you will become. It’s a simple fact. The best thing you can do is set your mind to something and focus on that, and that only, for however long you are doing what you are doing. Wisdom is doing. When you are doing what you are doing fully and completely, you are no longer thinking about yourself... you are simply doing what must be done. Get your mind off of yourself, whatever way you can. Open your heart to everybody around you. Open your mind to new ideas. Open your body to new experiences. Remain open and begin to love all that is around you. (((You see, when it rains, it rains on everybody, not just you. So, quit thinking that it’s only raining on you when it’s not.))) When someone is speaking to you, listen to every word they say, and give an authentic, non-canned response. If you are anything like me, you’ll realize that you are hardly ever listening to what another person is saying because you are too busy thinking about yourself. Once you break this cycle, you begin to actually hear other people for the first time. You hang on every word, curious what the next one will be. You are outside of your own mind, and that is the secret to happiness. Non-circular thinking. The more you are able to get outside of your own head, the grander your experience of the world will be. The quitter your mind, the better your life. The best way out of your mind is to focus on whatever you are doing, completely, and trusting that the past and the future will take care of themselves.
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Does what you think, say, and do bring you peace?
If not, think, say, and do something else.
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Sometimes, a disaster is what it takes...
ONE ROAD ENDS, ANOTHER BEGINS
My name is Brian David Snyder. I grew up in a military family. We moved every 3 or 5 years. I never felt very grounded. I spent a large portion of my life trying to make people around me happy. I always felt like I was here on Earth to do something important, but I never knew what it was. I never understood why people were so cruel to one another. Music was my solace, and my God.
I majored in music in college, but I didn’t want to teach. I wanted to write songs that would change people’s lives for the better. College was wonderful. I sang in choirs, acted in musicals, wrote music for plays, attended dance recitals, and enjoyed creating for the joy of creating. After college, I worked low wage office jobs from Florida to New York City to Nashville to San Diego. Those were the worst years of my life. I felt as though whatever it was I was supposed to be doing, I wasn’t doing it, and what made it worse was that even though I was surrounded by people, I wasn’t connecting with anyone on an authentic level. My whole life felt... fake. I no longer was in a choir or a theater. I no longer felt joy in being alive. Life became all about survival.
While working for a music publicity company in New York, I went to see a band my company was representing on 43rd Street at some dive bar called the Siberia. The band was excruciatingly loud, and I wasn’t wearing ear plugs. In a moment that would change my life forever, my left ear literally popped. From then on, I woke up with a ringing in my ears and went to bed with a ringing in my ears for years to come. I could no longer listen to music. It all sounded like mud. My super-sensitivity to sound was gone, and I felt abandoned by “God,” the Universe, and grace. Everything went from in-stereo to mono. Only a few months earlier, I recall thinking to myself, “What if I couldn’t hear in Stereo? That would be horrifyingly awful! I wouldn’t want to live.” My whole life was about the joy I experienced listening to in-stereo sound. I couldn’t stand mono. Whereas every sound used to sound like a choir of angels to me, suddenly, every sound sounded bland and tasteless. I was absolutely devastated, to put it lightly.
After trying to “make it,” in the music industry for years and working low wage jobs across America, combined with the incessant ringing in my ears and not being able to enjoy music as much anymore, I lost hope in life.
Back home in Florida, I woke up one morning in 2005 and said to my Mother, “I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I’ve been miserable at every job I’ve ever had. I don’t see how I’ll ever make it as a musician. This ringing in my ear won’t quit. The doctors say that there is nothing they can do, and I can’t see it ever getting any better. I don’t know how much longer I want to be here (on Earth.)” And, I meant it. My Mom said, “Don’t give up hope. I’ll get you an acupuncture appointment.” I said, “Acupuncture? What’s acupuncture? Sure, I’ll try anything.”
As Dr. Tzong Jiunn Wu (who is not technically a Dr., but I call him that, anyway,) placed the last acupuncture needle into my skin near my hand, there was a great shock that shot through to my right index finger tip. I said, “Do you have me plugged into the wall?” He said, “No, that’s your Qi.” I said, “What? Are you sure you don’t have me plugged into a wall?” He said, “I am sure.” I was so confused. What in the world had I just experienced? There was obviously a shock in my finger tip, and he didn’t have me plugged into anything, so what was that?
After the first treatment, the ringing in my ear actually subsided a little bit. Every time I went back to Dr. Wu, my hearing would improve and the ringing would decrease. After a while, the improvement hit a plateau, however, there was enough improvement to say that Traditional Chinese Medicine was having a profoundly positive affect on the quality of my existence.
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Our salvation lies in loving ourselves, and one another.
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And, so it begins...
THE AWAKENING - MY DISCOVERY OF QI
“My energy is so strong right now,” said Dr. Wu, with a wild look in his eyes, as he gently waved his hands back and forth, about one to three inches apart in front of his chest. Obviously perplexed, I responded, “What are you talking about?” Little did I know that in that one moment, reality as I knew it was about to come crashing down all around me, like an entire mountain being leveled in one gigantic avalanche. Sure, I had already experienced the shock in my fingertip during acupuncture treatment, but this was different. This was a force that I was feeling in the air, coming from one person’s hands into my hands. What was this force? How come nobody in my entire life has ever known or told me about this? In that one instant, I viscerally knew that my life was about to take a much different direction than I could have ever foreseen. As he waved his hand in front of mine, I felt a tingling sensation run through my hand and up my forearm. “What is that!?” I asked in wide eyed wonder. “That’s my Qi,” he responded, “my energy.” “How do you do that!?” I begged of him. “Will you teach me how?” “Yeah, sure,” he said. I’ll teach you Tai Chi.
Before that moment, I had lost hope in life. I believed that I was only a physical body, and everything was pretty much meaningless. I had always felt as though there was something more that I was missing... something I was supposed to be doing, but just wasn’t doing it. I could never find out what that thing was. I tried everything. I worked in restaurants, outlet malls, video production, the entertainment industry, law, and more, but everything I did left me thinking, “Is this it? Is this what my life has come to? It all feels so empty. So superficial. I KNOW there’s got to be something else out there.” So, when Dr. Wu waved his hand in front of mine and said, “My energy is so strong!” with a huge smile on his face, I was ecstatic. “Your what??? Your energy? What on Earth are you talking about? Teach me how to do that!”
This energy, or Qi, or prana, or life-force, or motive force, or whatever you want to call it, reintroduced magic into my life. Before discovering qi, I felt powerless. After the discovery of qi, I felt empowered. Empowered for what? Empowered for a better way of living. Empowered for self-healing. Once again, I felt loved by the Universe.
The discovery of qi began to influence all of my decisions. From when I woke up, to what I ate, to what I stopped watching on T.V., to what I stopped reading in the newspaper, to everything. Qi is everywhere and in everything. There is no life without Qi. There is no movement without Qi. Without Qi, the body would flop onto the floor. Everything carries energy. Everything IS energy, disguised in form. Everything is energy, moving in and out of form. This is the most important thing I learned. It was not only that we could cultivate this energy for self-healing, but that everything in the whole world was simply energy in different forms, being transferred. Every decision I make in my life now has to do with Qi. From what I eat, to who I spend time with, to how I move my body. I began to feel as though I was not in control of my life, not that I ever felt in control before, but now, all the decisions I was making involved the Qi. It was almost as though the Qi was making decisions for me. What I choose to do next is always a question of where the qi takes me.
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Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you.
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WHY IS THE MY DISCOVERY OF QI SO IMPORTANT?
AND, WHO CARES ABOUT THE HUMAN ENERGY FIELD?
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Something is very, VERY wrong here (on Earth, in this society)...
AN OVERWHELMING SADNESS HAS DESCENDED UPON THE WESTERN WORLD
The greatest disservice we are ever given occurs at the moment of our birth. The time when we are given an individual name (i.e. Johnny, Bobby, Sarah, Sam...). With this new name, and new body, comes a sense of separation from all that is. Consequently, we live in a world full of people walking around thinking, “I am Johnny. I am not Bobby, Sarah or Sam.” “I am Bobby. I am not Sarah, Sam or Johnny.” “I am Sarah. I am not Sam, Johnny or Bobby.” “I am Sam. I am not Johnny, Bobby or Sarah.” Yet, this is not the truth. In ultimate reality, nothing is separate. For whatever reason, we all, as one, have decided to break apart so that we may experience our “Self” in different forms, with different talents. Like different facets of the same diamond. Like a vile of mercury that is spilt upon a white, marble floor, we have dispersed into various incarnations. However, where can various incarnations go? Where can we go, except for home, again? What do you think “Heaven” is, except for a re-convergence of “All That Is?”
This may come as quite a shock to you, however, you are NOT your name. You are no more your name than you are your car. You are not who you THINK you are. The mind will tell you that you ARE your name and you ARE your car, however, if you think about it for a minute, you will surely agree with me that you are NOT. That name was given to you. That car was made for you. All these labels and objects that are attached to you are just that... labels and objects that are attached to you, yet, names and objects can change. Every problem that exists in this world comes from people who think that their name is somehow better than their neighbor’s name, and needs to be worshipped. Many people would fight to the bitter death for their name, which, in the end, doesn’t even exist.
Truth be told, we all are different landscapes on one world. You’re a snow covered mountain top and I’m a rolling ocean, but does that mean we are different? We are all attached to one planet. We are all individualizations of the same one truth. How could anybody attack anybody else if we all had the same name? In ultimate reality, we all DO have the same name. Call it what you will. It’s eternal. For anyone to have an enemy, they must first name that enemy. Once an enemy is named, and that name is considered “different,” , attack is justified. “KILL WHAT’S DIFFERENT!,” they shout. If they only knew that they were killing themselves. Any killing is the killing of the self.
I look around and most of what I hear is endless drama. Drama that comes from people who think that they have a unique name that needs to be worshipped, and lack of understanding, or desire to understand. People think that they are their biography, their clothes, their story, and they defend these things at all costs. People think that all they are is the name that they make for themselves. People think that they are their body, and so they dress it up and make it as “different,” as possible so that they appear to be somehow special, or better. Truth be told, none of us are special or better. People who are special or better attack other people to defend their specialness. Most people are so caught up in feeling as though they are separate, that they don’t recognize the harm they are causing themselves and others.
You are no better than anybody else, and nobody else is any better than you, in the eyes of eternity.
There is nothing wrong with individuality, per se. We ought to celebrate our individuation of our God-self. However, let us not kid ourselves that different form equals different essence.
Everywhere I go, most people I meet are shrouded in darkness. I cannot visually see this darkness, although some people can. No, I cannot see it. However, I can feel it. It penetrates into my core and leaves a residue of deep longing and sadness that I cannot accurately describe in words. Suffice it to say, I feel this energy from more and more people every day, and it crushes my heart. It’s as though there is an anger and hatred inside of them, and the only way that they feel they can get rid of it is by sharing it with others. In addition to having a name that identifies them as separate from others, which brings sadness, people also have energetic systems in their bodies which they have never been taught about, and are toxically contaminated.
People share this energy with everyone and everything around them, all the time. I am a water sign, astrologically speaking, and water takes the shape of the container it’s in. It’s no wonder that I have such a hard time in negative work environments, surrounded by people who think they need to defend their names, and are full of awful energy they don’t have any idea how to clear. When I am surrounded by this negative qi, I feel awful. When I am in the Herb Bar, (an eclectic, high-vibration, new age store,) I feel elated. These feelings are more than just ideas or thoughts. I can actually feel the difference of these environments, energetically. Not everybody can, but soon everybody will. It’s a blessing and a curse. Unfortunately, in these times, there are more negative than positive environments, hence the sadness I often feel in public places. However, the more healed I become, the more capable I am of carrying joy into joyless spaces. I am also learning ways to deflect negative qi, and keep it from sticking to me.
I know where the pain the people of this world experience comes from. It comes from an ancient longing for connection with other humans in an authentic way. However, in this society, there is no value in connecting on an authentic level. No, we place all our value on objects outside of ourselves and not on ourselves. We can’t see beyond the physical form of anything, which is the root of all of our pain. I see people dress up and look beautiful, or look different, or look funky, or look eclectic, however, I see the same deep sadness beneath the thin facade most people around me wear. Dressing up for fun is great, so long as you recognize that who you truly are is incredibly perfect and beautiful without the outfit. You can change your outfit all you like. You can get as many tattoos as you like. But, until you see that you are one with everyone else, you will simply feel more pain and separation. Our society thrives on this idea of uniqueness and trying to be different... but think about it, how unique are any of us? We all have a head, arms, legs, fingers, toes, biceps, quadriceps, hamstrings, a heart, a liver, a bladder, bones, blood vessels, femurs, tibias, fibulas, a spine... how different are we, really? What’s this huge attraction with the idea of being different? Do you think that by being different you are somehow better than somebody else? Think again. We are meant to be individuals and express ourselves in unique ways, however, don’t take this unique form for being any different from the substance of all. Until we come to recognize and celebrate how we are all the same, we will suffer tremendously.
Another cause for this darkness I feel is how most people think that they are their minds. Most people think they are their bodies. However, they are much, much more. None of us is our mind. None of us is our body. The mind tells you that you are separate and alone. The body tells you that you are separate and alone. The mind doesn’t know anything. We are all in this together. Back to the bumper-sticker I made in the beginning of my spiritual journey that read, “You are not your car.” I was trying to make this same point. I noticed that everyone around me associated themselves with what they presented, and I could tell that they did not know themselves outside of their social status. You are not who you think you are. You are not that Florida Gators shirt you are wearing, or that Chicago Bulls shirt. It’s just a shirt! It doesn’t MEAN anything. If you weren’t wearing that shirt, who would you be? You are not that Texas Longhorns hat you are wearing. If you had never heard of the Texas Longhorns, who would you be? As long as we continue to associate our worth with ideas outside of ourselves, we will suffer. All of these meaningless, false idols are simply paths to further separation from the truth of unity. Of course, the flip side of that is, if we understand this rudimentary truth, then we are free to continue playing our little games. The difference being, at the end of the day, fans from both teams take off their shirts and laugh together about the silliness of competition.
We live in dark, dark times. I can feel it in my bones. True joy is unknown to most people. The entertainment industry makes millions, however, I have yet to see a smile that lasts. Entertainment and escapism has its place, and is a wonderful gift from the Universe. Creativity is a wonderful, wonderful thing. However, the high experienced from entertainment joy is fleeting. And, like candy, is quickly consumed and forgotten. Entertainment is wonderful, however, our spiritual selves must not be neglected. These days, people are not meeting simply to enjoy one another’s company and loving presence. Instead, people are seen as objects to be used and exploited, or at least, avoided at all costs. “What can this person do for me? How can I use this person?” seems to be the mantra of these times. Until we see each other as valuable simply for existing, and stop seeing each other as simply objects to get around or use, we will not know true joy, and we will not know peace. Please, quote me on that.
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