If I'm so Lucky
Kevin Chappell
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Copyright 2010 Kevin Chappell
If I’m so lucky…..
If I’m so lucky as to know when my end has come, when at peace, I have time to reflect and replay the moments of my life that meant the most, I want to know that in those last moments I regretted not a single thing. I want to know as I look back, that the times we shared are as magical as I felt they were in the moment, I want to know that with you I found a love so pure, so true, so everlasting that my life ends knowing our love never can or will.
If I’m so lucky enough to be with you on that last day, I’d want nothing more than to sit peacefully, or to walk along our favourite beach and sit a while and wonder at the beauty in front of us. We’d be quiet in moments; whilst I rest assured our love will carry me away in peace.
I’d spend some time sat with you drinking tea, whilst our legs are entwined. We’d know that we’d truly let our hearts and souls meet and that we’d shared our lives to the full. We’d know we’d ‘sang with rapture and danced like dervishes’, we’d know that we had let ourselves be open to all that our love might bring, and that we had been and remain, truly and unashamedly, deliriously happy. We’d know that we had fallen head over heels in love and that we still loved each other like crazy. Having fallen so deeply in love and as my end neared, we’d know that in that moment, we’d never change one thing, that our journey together had been given and was to the glory of an all powerful source of love and that we had, in our lifetimes been so blessed to have experienced such sweet bliss.
If I’m so lucky to have that time to reflect, then I’d know that I never needed to ask you to support me, I never needed to ask you to love all of me, my pain and my joy, you’d done it because you are you and that’s the beautiful soul you are. In those moments when I had been overjoyed and full of energy you loved me, in those moments, when I was low and thought I lacked purpose; you were there for me still.
I’d want to tell you how much I admired everything about you, how your peace, your grace and your manner, had often left me feeling in awe. How I loved the way you were with our children, how I loved your sense of fun and playfulness. How nothing for anyone, was ever too much trouble, how you taught me to be more open, how you helped me through moments that were less than easy for me. Most of all I’d want to tell you how deeply I loved you and how every single minute I spent with you were the best, the most wondrous, and that I’d not hesitate to do it all over again.
If I’m so lucky as to know my end has come, I’d spend those moments with you; no one else might understand that desire but you would. I wouldn’t want to rush around doing anything that I hadn’t, I wouldn’t want to busy myself with small details that mean nothing but often cloud our lives. I’d want nothing more than to be close to the woman I love, the most single influential soul on my life, ever. I’d want to hold your hand in mine, I’d want to stroke your face and feel your soft skin beneath my finger tips. I’d want to hold you close to me; I’d want to spend some time gazing into your beautiful eyes. And when my time was done, I’d kiss you gently; I’d shed a tear and close my eyes and leave.
After I’d gone, you’d still know my love for you was present, every time you sat in peaceful quiet, every time you listened to your calm inner voice, every time you walked in the beauty of nature; you’d sense me close, you’d feel our love and you’d smile, you might have a tear in your eye but inside, deep inside, you’d know our love lived on and that one day our souls would be reunited in love. When that day comes, when you are at your end, I pray that you are lucky enough to have that same day as I did and have the time to reflect. I pray that as you do, that our love is as real then as it is in this moment now, and as it was on my lucky day, so it is now on yours.
I have and continue, to love you from a place that is true, with a heart that cannot hide and neither wants to from the power and beauty of our connection, and from the all powerful source that created it. If I’m lucky enough to know when my time is done, I want to know that I have lived my life with you at its centre, surrounded by our children, families and friends who were as blessed by this love as we are.
If I’m lucky enough to actually have that day, you are the only soul I’d ever want to share it with.
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I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Many thanks, with love, Kevin
If you'd like, please contact me: kevinxchappell@googlemail.com I'd love to hear your comments!
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