Memoirs
of a Little Old Man - REVISED
Stormy J Froom
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 Stormy J.Froom
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REVIEWS
"Memoirs of a Little Old Man, by Stormy Froom shows the growth of a hurt boy into manhood. This book gives hope to those in the deepest depths of despair. Yes! they too can heal and become happy from within. This book of poetry and black ink art can be a quick read or one to ponder over, well worth the money. I recommend this book to anyone interested in personal healing and growth or those seeking understanding of someone who is beginning a pathway of healing."--Chapters online bookstore, anonymous--
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hello, my name is Stormy Froom and I wanted to talk about me and writing this self-published book. My childhood and growing up had been filled with chaos and pain. I got to a point in my life to which I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get it out or die but the pain had to stop. So the first two chapters is me remembering when a time of nightmare and hope still lingered in me. A time when feelings had a meaning for at that time at least emotions were louder than pain. Years later I started to draw and that is why half the book is art (to heal through sight) and finally I needed to let others know that there is another side to pain, there can be another day where the clouds don't taunt the rays of the present. Healing is all I do now so I can feel without the pain(Spiritual Healer). My book is to hopefully help the ones that know this pain. Many blessings to you and may it flow into life.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book is dedicated,
To the lost souls that live their lives in secret, with internal devastation,
Torn inside with pains in every waking night.
In hopes you may heal through sight.
AND
To my son Jayde,
for the gift of a heart.
AUTHORS NOTE
My name is Stormy Froom.
I welcome you to my healing,
To a fantasy in which I lived every day of my life.
Please read slowly and understand,
These aren’t just words on pages to come,
But my soul spread out before you,
To heal,
To be whole.
CONTENTS
To Feel
To Love
To Soar
My Art
Survival Healing
My Manifesto
CHAPTER 1
Moon Goddess
Echoing from the dark,
She lights our way.
TO FEEL
In a dark laden corner hidden from the touch of light,
Sits a shell of a soul once bright.
An decrepit weathered old man,
Beaten by a past that taunts within the shadows of every waking night.
His roots grow from the pain that is sapped from the essence of fear.
Darkness which lingers in the daylight follows and taunts into the mists of his dreams.
An anger against the empty hollowness lives within a little boy of his past.
An outsider hidden within masks so vast to hide the pain.
Born with walls so high but lost to the skies.
Chained to a feather only of sight,
Weighted from a curse of his undoing.
Just a little boy tranquil within thoughts of chaos.
Confused and lost in the darkness he’ll hide, From a faceless unknowing,
Pondering why?
His existence takes form in a realm of castles and fairy tales.
Of an untold story of a boy,
Hunted by a beast.
The sanctuary of the mist which clouds his dreams is where the battles take part.
So no one will hear his piercing screams,
Or the shattering of his heart.
Ravaging the scars lay bare and aching they’ll be.
With the coming of night a beast finds harmony.
Perched on pillar of stone,
A gargoyle he has become.
A beast calmed in the sin of ecstasy.
No hurt to harm him,
With his heart only stone.
No pain he’ll know,
No need to be whole.
Lay upon a path with no map he’ll walk,
To a loosely hung string of a fantasy.
Unholy thoughts are all he hears.
Battles within walls so great with voices so loud.
Fire which once flowed through pumping veins, As lava to a golden heart,
Now lays battered and cold.
Inhuman to the man he once was,
To the fantasy once lived.
Concaved from within the dark his only sanctuary.
Longing to be whole,
For now he possesses a dammed soul.
To live a day is a year,
To live a year is to feel an eternity without
a day.
CHAPTER 2
Love
Held within a single touch,
Flutters the heart in a way.
Gentle breathe of mother earth,
Tickles and smiles away.
TO LOVE
Pondering of a time when the future was now and tomorrow was years to come.
Feeling the warm breathe of mother earth against his skin.
He passes through the thick stagnant air of his past,
He ponders on a single candle,
Lay upon his table as a reminder of a spark once given.
Reaching within the webs and walls of his own very soul,
He cradles an ember.
To the past he’ll go in the present he’ll be.
With his eternal flame lit,
The boundaries of his domain lay in shadows no more.
Gazing upon its tranquil presence,
Taunting the flame dances with unknowing power.
Pulling him from reality to a fantasy once given.
Eyes lay upon to a time of unknowing,
A time of his first,
Only love,
That made him sing.
A melody without any sound,
To dance without no motion.
Revoking an image of a maiden sent through paths of time to stumble upon his feet.
Her essence sapped from the purity of a drop water,
Drained from an ancient glacier,
Untouched from grasping hands.
Refined and molded from a single spark,
Given by the night sky.
Her essence engulfs him,
To feel at home within chaos,
With the clenching of her hand.
For she wears armor not of metal,
But of his peace,
Within the screams and sounds of his own chaotic mind.
A mortal enticed by lavish fruit,
Within a secret garden of two craving souls.
Lost within the endless battle against the grandfather of time.
Protected by a shielding aura of love,
They set afoot upon a single woven thread,
Balancing to where either will know,
But together they’ll be,
In their unsung harmony.
Celebration with a white trained dress and carefully placed flowers.
Walls of a sacred church,
Tower over the heart of the joining of these two lost souls.
Tears of joy and smiles within laughter flash before their eyes.
Joined as one,
On a day of piercing sun.
Shining gold rings and two hearts beating as one.
Cheers to the future and moments to come.
Lifted and cradled within a gentle breeze to the nest of woven dreams.
Laden with beads of lust, passion, and unspoken trust.
Absorbed together with a single kiss,
Lost to the unknowing,
Lost to the abyss.
Awoken to birth of an emerald strong and true, His name was all they knew.
As pure as the glacier his maiden was poured, Glimmering together,
Forever more.
The tranquil old man soaked with tears from a faucet rusted by sand beaten time.
Dims the soreness from his eyes.
He now lives in a time when the future has no meaning,
Without the presence of the past.
The spark within his heart smolders with an ember once given.
Years to come he’ll be not whole without his maiden true to be.
Their emerald still shines in sunsets of his fantasy.
Chapter 3
Eagle
As the divine light broke
through the dark hollows of my pain.
My spirit arose and began to soar.
TO SOAR
Awakened from cries of play and glee,
Children with non-taunting thoughts play upon his backyard street.
Rays of the dawn cascade through his lands of mists and fairy tales,
As a flower opens to receive the warmth,
Ringing of a melody.
Cracked and broken free,
Skin aged of a time with burden,
Now sheds from a serpents flame,
Born of earth,
Once feared,
Now flows him away,
From terror in surrendering ecstasy.
Petals outreached as a flower of light.
Awakened to true divinity.
There’s no more time to lie about,
No more time to tell of sights.
So take away what you will of a dream or fantasy.
Soar with me through endless clouds and battle your ups and downs,
For one day I’ll look upon my walk and ask, “Did the sun treat you well today or did the clouds taunt away?”
So many blessings to all,
May they flow into life.
CHAPTER 4
MY ART
Abundance
Bear
Bug Dance
Wakened from their winter slumber,
life rejoices and celebrates the coming
of summer.
Butterfly
Cocooned with ideas plenty,
determined to blossom,
we find flight.
Celestial
Earth
Flowing and ever-changing,
seasons become interwoven,
in the sands of time.
Fire
Surrendering oneself,
Gaia gives life,
sacred the way,
consecrated we'll be.
Inner Child
Our creations become life,
this life force posses our happiness,
so in the pursuit of happiness,
we made our dreams, passions, and ideas
of our inner self reality.
Lost
Lost before the then is now,
before the now is then.
Ocean
Swells of healing bliss,
laps at my shore,
filled with food of thought ,
with thanks I take no more.
One
Prosperity
Re-Birth
Spring
When the coming of spring approaches,
nature uplifts from mother earth and bursts
forth with new life.
Creations of the divine become the display.
CHAPTER 5
SURVIVAL HEALING
I just want to give some basic ideas and tips in helping others to protect themselves and heal spiritually. Remember these are very basic but in survival anything helps.
Since 2002 when my son came up to me and said, "daddy(7 yrs old) I want to be just like you," I promised myself that my son would not become the broken person that formed the man that stood in front of him. So I set out in any way possible to heal myself and allow my son to grow up with as little as pain as possible.
I became kundalini awakened (a story for another day but I must add there are support groups out there to help others awakened by the flame of kundalini, and to these people you are not crazy, salt in a bath and prayer will help ease the pain for not much does) and worked with rogue spiritual masters, took workshops on dna manipulation, energy manipulation, joined spiritual groups, did workshops, took on spiritual practices from around the globe and have become very spiritual and not religious with the mind to find the right tools to heal and remove my pain. I found myself dedicating many years of digging into nightmares and losing all frames of time and beliefs in the hunt for the gentle words of bliss to ease my mind. Making even my skin the scriptures that I read and recite over and over again asking for protection from whatever purest form that will grant me some kind of shield, so I can work, without the pain not of mine, blurring me from the sight of my pain for pain only wants more pain, so its lingers in and all around but not to say hope and happiness was not there, it's that my glasses were scratched, broken and the blurriness is hard to see through when those clouds don't allow the sun to shine through.
I want to let anyone who needs help some way to release some of the pain and temporary put bandages on it to get though the pain other than the typical drugs or alcohol. Spiritual healing works kind of the same way, it bursts the bubble of the consciousness in a way that it temporary numbs you with happiness and allows you to feel no pain even though depending on the healing or healer depends on the potency of such a thing so the time it lasts varies. I am no spiritual master but I am a healer professionally for awhile but frustrated with not having the tools to help others and only creating chaos so I started the journey within. I have no idea of the illusions surrounding me but I have always felt the programming within me was given to me like dna within their strands not seen but only felt. Frustrations with the definition of karma a thing that people use to attack others with their ideology so that there ego can be stroked so they don't have to address their own issues and to live in the exticy of ignorance to their own being and existence. All people want to know is that they are right in what they do, that they are sane, but what creates harmony in another doesn't create harmony in all. I read somewhere that we all dance a different way but all to the same tune. As my unknowing ignorance slowly is removed I can see how hurt only hurts for that is what it feeds on, it's what it needs to live.
PROTECTION
Protection is the first thing I would like to start with.
Here is a story but my details pertaining to the story are not always accurate but it not entirely the story but the meaning behind it is what I'm trying to tell.
Deep in the mountains some Chinese ( I believe) scientists were studying the effects of energy projected at water. They used water from a local lake with very little pollutants so to get better results. They yelled at the water with words of hate then with words of love and froze the portions of water during each time and noticed when sending love to water beautiful crystalline structures formed and when sending hate to the water the structures were broken and took little form. So to conclude, we are made up of water, so what do you think if someone yells hate at your body. How do you think your water will react? So how do we stop the body from reacting like producing emotions or energy not needed but only protects or feeds our egos. Protection and healing branches from here, our bodies are biological computers reacting with energy of action, thoughts, and words. Its programmable and de-programmable but it's the how that can become troublesome and frustrating. Still with all the tools I use nowadays you think it would be easy but its persistence, patience and the belief that we can heal and it doesn't matter what others say, do or think at us, we can stop the pain.
Find the purest forms (that don't have alternative motives and posses the singular wave of a single intention) like for me Buddha, Christ, Angels (Arc Angel Michael is a good one), and many others from many religions around the world but not through people, it's through your connection to all that is, is where you will find help. You exist and spiritually that means you're already hardwired to all of existence, you don't need someone to connect you. Others are useful if you want to take on their spiritual practice or religion (ex:pranic healing) then go for it, they have their entities, masters, rituals and rites of passage that you can honor so you can practice that particular style of path but for me I attempt to limit the walls and barriers placed on me by a singular way or ideological belief.
Protection will start with just asking them.
YOUR WORDS CARRY INTENTIONS, WHICH HAS ENERGY, THAT ENERGY CAN BE SENT TO WHEREEVER YOU WANT IT. SO SEND IT OUT AND ASK FOR PROTECTION FROM HARM.
It's like calling someone's name that you see in a mall and you want their attention, just call to them and ask. Maybe a picture of them will help but your concentration should be singular to the moment and after the moment, whatever, but during, concentrate, focus and send your intentions.
HEALING
Think of yourself as a psychologist going through your own mind with a fine tooth comb slowly and patiently.
Spiritual healing is like calling for protection but with using your intentions(what you want, 'to heal') for example the Medicine Buddha mantra repeated over and over again calls to him for help. Right it down, say it out loud, record it off of the internet in mp3 format and play it over and over again in your player while you're sleeping and walking, let it flow to the pain. Your resistance might be strong but be patient with yourself, thank yourself for healing and attempt to be nice to yourself somehow. Simple thanking yourself for healing helps. For me healing it was hard and still can be hard. I found as I slowly changed my consciousness things become louder in other parts of me and other people's consciousness fought me so I would still support their ideology sub-consciously or whatever. I find karma, the flow of energy sub-consciously or consciously needs to support others beliefs (ideology) so if it needs to survive it attacks somehow, sad I know but true, it's kind of like a battle I feel. Things want to live like hate or whatever has a life and wants to seep into all your cracks with its roots so that it can grow life and maintain its survival. Hate is just hate. It protects us but also harms us and hate only makes more hate so what do you do, find its opposite like love or compassion . Think of hate as a trigger (an indicator) to let you know that there is an iceberg under the surface that you may want to address later or at the moment buts it's just a trigger as most emotions are. Reactions within our programmed biological ideogly that we may have been born with or learned but it's just programming that can be de-programmed with time and patience. It may be hard to love yourself at first but use someone like the Medicine Buddha or Green Tara that uses compassion to ease your pain, they help, they help me and who am I, I'm just someone who wants to heal my pain, if you saw me on the street you probably wouldn't even think twice about me. I'm no monk in the mountains of Tibet or a priest in robes in front of a congregation (which is totally honorable that they are), just a guy who wants to heal. Ohhh and a good practice is to say thank you to them. Respect in the spiritual world goes farrrrrrrrr as you would want respect, so we give respect, even if it's just: 'Thank you.'
I hope this helps some. Remember patience and persistence.
MY MANIFESTO
(or Just Frustration)
I am a spiritual healer.
Ego attacks me sets war at me and I continue on,
Energy of hate laughs at my failures and I continue on,
Entities attack me and stab my heart and I continue on,
Karma takes my food, home, and existence in this reality of ego and yet I continue on.
I am a spiritual healer
Never rewarded nor ask to be rewarded for keeping my hate in check,
Stopping my mind from causing others pain,
Stopping my hand from growing fists for war,
Or stopping my words to crumble others to the ground.
My crime only exists in ego and ideology,
I exist without your meaning or permission,
I exist without your pain,
I exist without your abuse.
I am a spiritual healer and I exist,
I live in the meditation of bliss,
I live in the knowledge of the now without the past ,
I live in the harmony of laugher from joy and within its embrace.
You may attack me but you won't attack for long.
I am the new world, life without your pain.
NO-MORE EGO
Just a thought:
By changing your perspective you change the world instantly, Instead of attempting to change the world to be your own perspective. Healing starts with ourselves then grows fruit to which we can share. Blessings to all and may they flow into life.
-- Stormy Froom --
I would like to extend my gratitude to the spiritual community for my healings, and to ALL whom purchase or support my work. Sincerely, I Thank You
Stormy J. Froom
Stormy Froom is a spiritual artist / healer expressing his interpretation of the environment that unfolds in front of him through poetry and his black ink art.
Stormy resides in the Vancouver area and enjoys being near the coastal mountains of British Columbia, Canada.
For further information about his work please refer to:
http://www.Celestial--Designs.com