Excerpt for The Funeral by Carrie Waugh, available in its entirety at Smashwords

The Funeral

Carrie Waugh

Copyright 2011 Carrie Waugh

Smashwords Edition




“Eve, your mother died yesterday.”

That one line made me pause mid stride. I stared dumbly at the answering machine. I could see Aunt Nita on the other end of the line smoking a cigarette and thumbing through a magazine like she was having a friendly chat instead of telling a daughter her mother was gone from this world.


“The funeral is tomorrow. The whole family will be there.”


My face settled into a frown after the click of the line disconnecting. What was left unsaid was the implication that I attend the funeral I had secretly looked forward to for a long time. A vicious thought slithered to the forefront of my mind. I hoped her death was painful. She deserved no less.

The eight hours it took to get to the old farmhouse was nowhere near long enough to prepare myself for the rest of the family. As soon as the tattered white house came into view, so did the memories. Most of them I longed to forget. After all, I didn’t exactly have the most normal childhood.

I was tempted to drive past the dirt driveway and go back to Dallas. There, I could go on pretending my life didn’t include the dirty little secrets of my lineage. I tried to hate them all with every fiber of my being, but to hate them was a waste of emotion. I stopped hating my blood kin about the same time I accepted our lot in life. I came to realize if not for them, I would truly be alone.

For almost five years I successfully avoided my family, barring the occasional phone call. Now, Mother’s untimely death dragged me back into the fold. I felt just a tinge of guilt for being so cold about her demise. She wasn’t always the harbinger of contempt and disgust. She would understand my sentiments.

Letting out a resigned sigh, I pulled into the driveway. As I inched my way closer to the house my stomach tightened and convulsed nervously. I wondered why I was so anxious about seeing them again. Just because they always accepted me back without question or condemnation? Even if they didn’t’ approve of the life I chose to live, it was my choice to make. It didn’t obligate me to care for them any more than I did.

From the look of it, I was the last to arrive. I recognized a few of vehicles in the driveway. Seeing my Uncle Trevor’s dilapidated red Ford truck calmed me a little. If I had to choose one of my relatives to relate to it was good old Uncle Trevor. He shared my twisted and often times cynical views of the world. He was my anchor when I felt like I was being ripped apart.


I parked on the far side of small shed to the left of the house. As I ascended onto the front porch, I noticed one of the living room blinds fall back in place. My flighty cousin Dana met me at the front door.


“This is a pleasant surprise.” She said, throwing her thick arms around me. She smelled exactly the same, like vanilla and coffee beans. “I didn’t think you would come.”

I forced her off me. “Mother just died. I couldn’t miss her funeral.”

“Well, come on in. Everyone else is here already.”

Trying to sound more excited than I felt I said, “Great. I can’t wait to see everyone again.”

The inside of the house looked exactly the same as it had the last time I was there; down to the worn vinyl on the floor. “I see mom didn’t out grow her fear of change.”

Dana shrugged in her whimsical and carefree manner. “She was waiting until she saved up the money to redo the whole house.”

“That’s Mom.” I mumbled. “The queen of procrastination.”

In the living room, the people I furtively called my own stared back at me.

Donny and his mom, Aunt Nita, were as close as a mother and son could be without crossing the creepy line. They even shared the same bland taste in clothes, music, or anything else they thought would express their personality.

Uncle Gary, well, he came out of the closet some time ago. Before that revelation he managed to father his twin girls, Jessie and Sandi. They pretty much stayed out of each other’s way. I think they despised one another more than I did them.

Uncle Trevor’s son, Parker, was sitting on the edge of the couch as if waiting for a pistol to sound so he could race for the front door. I knew exactly how he felt. I looked around, but no Uncle Trevor.

“Hello, everyone.” I said through a forced grin.

Not everyone seemed as happy to see me as Dana. They acknowledged my presence with a short wave or a nod. I had expected a little more enthusiasm. Maybe they have finally come to terms with my disdain.

“You’re cutting it kind of close.” Donny pointed to the antique grandfather clock by the fireplace. “The funeral starts in half an hour.”

A woman I’d never seen before followed Dana out of the kitchen. “I’d like you to meet someone.” Dana told me. “This is Rose.”

“Nice to meet you, Rose. I‘m Eve.” I said, shaking her hand. Before I could stop myself I added. “It’s about time Dana brought home a real friend we can all see.”

Rose covered her mouth, as if fighting back a smile.

Dana laughed off the comment. “Eve, stop it. You’re always so bitter.”

And you are always so disgustingly chipper. I managed to keep that one corralled behind clenched teeth.

“Anyway,” Dana went on. “Rose just moved into town. She works with me at the movie place.”

“I can’t imagine why anyone would want to move here.” I said with a shake of my head.

Rose shrugged. “I like it. After jumping from one foster home to another, I finally get to settle some place that’s of my own choosing.” She took my hands in hers. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”


I pretended to accept the condolence with the heartfelt sentiment with which it was given and all but yanked my hands free. Uncle Trevor walked out of my mom’s room, saving me from anymore chumming up to Rose. Not like I had anything against her. She was actually kind of nice. I guess I wanted to keep from liking her anymore that I had to. Sentiments always made things more complicated.

“Hey, Tater Tot.” Uncle Trevor boomed as he picked me up in a big hug.

I cringed. “I thought I heard the last of that name.”

“Not likely.” When he set me down, I noticed the ring box in his hand.

“Is that it?”

He nodded. When he tried to hand it to me, I hesitated.

“She wanted you to have it.”

Even in death, Mother was trying to make me feel included. I took the box and put it in my jacket pocket.

Turning, Uncle Trevor announced it was time to go.

As I suspected, we were the only ones at the funeral home. Mother never made an effort to befriend anyone she deemed less than her equal. Which covered everyone but us. That was one of the many insufferable quirks I so disliked about the tight knit lineage we all shared. My cousins weren’t so rigid about bringing outsiders into the fold, so long as they were kept at a distance.

Personally, I got tired of sneaking around town just to have a few friends and, dare I say, a boyfriend.

When we pulled up behind the funeral home, a short balding man in his late fifties met us at the back door. Apparently, he was in charge. Aunt Nita told him she would deliver the eulogy, after which we would drive to the cemetery to finalize the ceremony. To anyone else the whole thing might look cold and unfeeling. We acted as though we were buying a house, not mourning a loved one.

I half-listened to the meaningless words coming from Aunt Nita. My mind wandered to my job, and a long to do list waiting for me when I got home. Though I would have loved to leave for Dallas as soon as the funeral was over, I knew Uncle Trevor would want me to stay, at least until the last of this insufferable ceremony was over.

"It's tradition." He would say.

At the cemetery we all passed by the casket, saying our goodbyes. As my mother’s body was lowered into the ground I felt tears threaten to break through my icy fortress. Not for her passing, but for the life she brought me into. I longed to tell her once again how I hated her for it.

On the drive to the farmhouse, Uncle Trevor and I reminisced over old times, when I was a little girl, before life became nothing more than a duty. It was nice to remember being so blissfully naive.


“Have you heard from Gregory?” He asked.


I squirmed in my seat.


“It’s okay. I won’t say a word to anyone.”


“Not in a while.”


“We all miss him.”


“Yeah, me too.” I felt bad for lying to Uncle Trevor, but I didn’t trust him not to run his mouth to the others. Gregg made me promise never to tell them where he was, and for my silence I got to stay in his life.


Uncle Trevor laughed. “I still remember when you two were born. Your mother always said you were two halves of one soul. Her soul.”


I pulled up to the house and started to get out when Uncle Trevor reached over and patted my hand. “You know your mother only wanted what was best for you and your brother. Don’t blame her for loving you so much.”

As much as I hated to admit to myself, and I would never admit it to anyone else, his words held some truth to them. Mother might have thought she was giving us all a great gift, but it was her selfish fears that moved her to act.

By the time I walked into the house, the smell of fried chicken and fresh bread filled the air. Uncle Gary had, no doubt, slipped away from the funeral early to warm up the plentiful feast prepared earlier that day. Donny and Sandi were outside on the patio talking. Aunt Nita and Jessie were setting the table. Dana was in the living room with Rose, showing her some old pictures.

I didn’t have much of an appetite, so while everyone else ate I sat at the table sipping some water.

“Aren't you hungry?” Uncle Trevor asked, passing the mashed potatoes over my plate to Dana.

“Not particularly.”

He nodded in understanding. “You always had a soft stomach.”

Dinner went on for a good hour before people started leaving the table. I was one of the last to go into the living room. When I walked in, Aunt Nita held up her hand to get everyone’s attention.

“First, I would like to thank you all for coming. Especially you, Eve. I know how much it meant for your mother to have the entire family together on this sad, yet joyful day.” Turning to the others, she went on. “We will not mourn the loss of Louise Harrison. Instead, we will rejoice in the new life she is destined to live. A life we have all enjoyed for so long.”

Everyone, but Rose and I nodded in agreement. I could tell she didn't quite understand Aunt Nita's last comment.

“I suppose we should get on with it.” Aunt Nita looked my way, again. “Would you like to do the honors?"

I shook my head.

“Very well.”

With one swift movement, Aunt Nita raised a pudgy fist and jabbed it into Rose's cheek, knocking her to the side. Dana was quick to strike her blow, sending the wide-eyed woman sprawling to the floor. When the others joined in, I stepped back.

I tried not to look as the sound of breaking bones and savage grunts filled the room. I wanted to go outside until it was over. Not because of the hideous scene being played out before me; I have accepted what we are and what we do to maintain our way of life. But to keep from seeing the repugnant look of elation on their faces. A look I, myself, have donned many times. A feeling I fought to suppress.

When the room went silent, I turned to look at the bloody mess on the floor. That stain would never come out. I guess Mother would have to remodel, now.

It was hard to believe that by morning that battered body would be healed. No sign of this inhuman slaughter would be left but the memory of poor Rose. Her life snuffed out like an annoying gnat so Mother could take the now empty vessel as her own.

Uncle Trevor wiped spittle from the side of his mouth, leaving a crimson smear in its place. “The ring.” He said, holding out a weathered hand to me.

I took the ruby ring from its box, admiring its beauty. Funny how something so small could hold what was left of Mothers essence. The others considered it to be our soul preserved inside. I knew better. Our souls were forfeit a long time ago. What resided in that ring after our bodies died was merely a shadow of who we once were.

I watched as Uncle Trevor forced the ring onto a mangled, broken finger. There was a faint glow and I, along with everyone else in the room, felt the transference. Uncle Gary helped Donny carry the body into Mother’s room. There was nothing left for us to do but go about our own business.

I didn’t say word as I walked back to one of the bedrooms in the back of the house. There was a full-length mirror on the front of the closet door. I stood there looking at the woman I had brought home five years ago. I still remember her name. Hillary. She was a nice woman. Very cordial and good tempered. That’s why I chose her. I envied her happiness. This body was well worth preserving. It was one of the finest I had ever taken in the three hundred years since my first death.

I touched the smooth surface of my face and smiled. I was kidding myself to think I could ever abandon my ancestry, because no matter how long or how hard I run this was my family.


My life.

My hell.

And I know no other more deserving people with whom to share it.


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