The Monster Hunting Agency Casebook Part 1
by
Tim Jousma
Published by the Tim Jousma Media Empire
The Monster Hunting Agency Casebook Part 1
Copyright 2011 by Tim Jousma
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**********
Author's Note
Children have dealt with monsters since the beginning of time. My children have been no different. When my eldest son first started talking about the monsters he dealt with in his dreams I was at a loss in how to help him out. As an adult, I obviously knew that as a kid, he had an active imagination. What child doesn't? But how could I logically tell a kid that the monsters he dealt with in his dreams were figments of his imagination when those figments were causing him such fear?
The answer was a story. I thought that if I created a story where he was able to defeat the monsters that scared him, he'd be able to live vicariously through the character I created and have some courage when he dealt with his own monsters. In my kids case, it worked.
I hope you enjoy the first three cases of the Monster Hunting Agency. Once you're finished reading, feel free to head over to my website, TimJousma.com, and send me your thoughts on the stories. Any writer telling you that what they write is perfection denied is a fool. So any thoughts or critiques you have will help in the further shaping of these stories and the continued adventures once they come out. Above all, enjoy.
**********
Case 1-The Bath Tub Monster
Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. They range from short little furry creatures with razor sharp teeth to huge monsters dozens of feet tall with roars that could make a grown man cry like a little girl. That’s where I come in. My name is Izaak and I hunt monsters.
I was working the day shift at the Monster Hunting Agency when the phone on my desk rang. It was my secretary.
“Izaak, I have a Miss Allie Pettigrew in the office wishing to speak with you about a monster in her house.”
“Thank you. Send her in.”
After a moment, the door to my office opened and a girl who looked to be eight years old stepped in. She had blond, curly hair, a pink shirt covered in hearts, and blue jeans with frilly bell bottoms. I rose to shake her hand, offering her a seat.
“Thanks for coming in,” I said. “Tell me what brings you here today.”
“I’ve been scared to take a bath. Every time I get close to the tub I hear a noise coming from the drain. I don’t want to go in there if something wants to pull me down the drain and hurt me.” Allie started to sob.
I rose from my desk and walked over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder.
“It’s ok,” I said. “I’ve been in your shoes before. But one day I decided I wouldn’t let the monsters scare me anymore so I decided to fight. Can you tell me a little about this monster?”
“Well, it sounds like a big cat. He just roars every time I get close to the tub. Then I see these arms come out of the drain that look like an octopus arms. I think they’re trying to reach for me.”
“Alright, leave your address with my secretary and I’ll be by your home tonight to check things out.”
“Thank you so much.”
Allie rose and left. I headed over to my bookshelf, pushing a button located secretly behind my display of Lego’s. The bookshelf slid open, revealing a fireman’s pole. I hopped on the pole and slid down. At the bottom, I walked out into the labs of the Monster Hunting Agency. There to meet me was my partner Clyde Roman.
“Clyde, let’s head over to the utility room. We’ve got a monster sighting and I need to get the right tools for the job.”
“Nice.”
We headed to the utility room. Clyde opened the door and turned the light on. The room was cavernous, filled with shelf after shelf of tools that could be gathered together when on a job.
“So what kind of monster are we looking at?” Clyde asked.
“From the vague description I got from the girl it appears to be a class M creature, a bathtub monster. I need to get some tools together that’ll help me confront this thing and determine what its purpose is.”
“I see.” Clyde led me to a particular shelf and pulled down two spray canisters.
“We just got this shipped in from Finland. Premium monster spray, guaranteed to drive away even the scariest monster ever.”
He pulled another item off the shelf. “This is a high tech, multi-colored flashlight fresh in from our friends at the CIA. Basically it’s an expensive kaleidoscope. But as we both know, monsters react to light differently. The bad ones run away as fast they can while the good ones are attracted by the light and show their true colors so to speak. And you mentioned this was a bathroom monster?”
“Yeah.”
“Then follow me.”
He led me down a long row of shelves that had various monster fighting items my team had used through the years. We arrived at a shelf that was bare apart from two gumdrops, one colored red and the other colored blue. He picked them up with the delicacy of someone picking up an antique.
“These are very special gumdrops my friend. The blue gumdrop will shrink you down allowing you to get into the drain and into the monster’s lair. The red gumdrop will be used when you’re out of the drain so you can go back to normal size. Whatever you do, do not lose these.”
Clyde took a special case sitting next to the gumdrops, placed them inside, and handed them to me. I slipped them into my pocket.
“Well let’s get my gear together and head over to Miss Pettigrew’s house. We got a monster to stop.”
“You’re going to need one more thing,” Clyde said.
Clyde led me to the final shelf. I knew what was waiting there. Clyde grabbed the item and handed it to me. They were the coolest pair of sunglasses a guy could have. And they had the added benefit of being able to spot monsters with a built in infrared sensor. I put them on.
“Do I look cool?”
Clyde smiled. “Yeah.”
“Then let’s collect our gear and go.”
**********
We arrived at Allie’s house around seven o’clock, around the time she said her parents made her take a bath. I knocked on her door. Within a few moments, her Mother answered.
“Hello. May I help you boys?”
“Good evening ma’am. My name is Izaak and this is my partner Clyde. We’re here from the Monster Hunting Agency.” We showed her our badges.
“My goodness. Allie told me you would be stopping over tonight but I never realized you’d be so young.”
“Ma’am, monsters only affects children so children can be the only ones to beat them. Can you take us to your bathroom please?”
Mrs. Pettigrew led us to the bathroom. “Now ma’am, we need this area clear to do our work,” I said.
Mrs. Pettigrew left Clyde and me to do our job. Clyde set his bag down and took out the equipment. I put on the infrared sunglasses, strapped on the kaleidoscope flashlight onto my belt, and put two monster spray canisters into their holsters. I pulled the case with the gumdrops out of my pocket. Before I stepped into the bathroom, Clyde put his hand on my shoulder.
“There’s one more thing you’ll need that I forgot to mention.” He handed me an earpiece. “I’ll not only be able to communicate with you, you’ll be able to use this as a universal communicator. You’ll be able to understand everything the monsters are saying.”
“Thanks,” I said, putting the earpiece in my ear. I entered the bathroom.
The bathroom smelled of pine cleaner. To my right was the sink and bathroom mirror. The toilet was to the left of the sink. The tub was straight ahead.
I stepped into the tub and took the box of candies out of my pocket. I opened it, taking the blue candy out. After putting the box back into my pocket, I popped the blue candy into my mouth and swallowed it. It took a moment for the candy to take effect. The shrinking was quite a shock to get used to but I finally got my bearings. I headed for the drain and jumped in.
The drain was like a slide, a water slide that was drenching wet no matter where I touched. Just as I thought it wouldn’t end, I landed on a slimy metal floor. I rose, adjusting my glasses to see in the dark.
“Are you in yet boss?” Clyde asked.
“Copy that. I’m just waiting for my eyesight to adjust then I’ll start my search.”
I took out my flashlight and turned it on. I appeared to be in a building the size of a warehouse. At the other end of the room was a door. I headed there, being as that was the only exit.
Once I walked through the door, I heard a roar. But thanks to the universal communicator I understood what was said. And it scared me a little. The voice said “I hear a noise.”
Someone knew I was here. I pulled out one of my squirt canisters and headed toward the voice.
“To whoever just spoke, my name is Izaak. I’m an agent for the Monster Hunting Agency. Please show yourself.”
Silence. Suddenly something from behind me shoved me to the ground. I quickly rose and faced the creature that shoved me. It stood about as tall as me, maybe a couple inches taller. Its teeth resembled fangs. The fur that covered its body was dark gray.
“What are you doing here?” The creature asked me.
“I’m an agent with the Monster Hunting Agency. I’ve been sent down here to investigate a monster that’s been scarring a little girl.”
The monster laughed. “The Monster Hunting Agency? They’re going to send children to stop us monsters?” It started to laugh.
I smiled. “You wanna come over here and see this child kick your butt?”
The monster charged me. I kicked him in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground. I pinned his shoulders to the ground with my knees and punched him in the face.
“Ok, enough,” the monster yelled.
I rose, pulling out one of my squirt bottles, aiming it at his chest. “This squirt bottle is filled with premium monster spray. I’m sure you know what that is right?”
The monster nodded. “Yeah, it dissolves all the badness from a monster and makes us permanently nice.”
“That’s right. Now I got a little girl up there who’s scared of a monster that has octopus tentacles. Have you seen anyone like that down here?”
The monster snorted. “Why should I tell you?”
I smiled. “I can see this ain’t going anywhere.”
I pulled the trigger on the spray bottle. Before the spray hit the monster he ran out of the way of the stream. I ran after it.
“What’s going on down there?” Clyde asked from my earpiece.
“I’m chasing a monster that attacked me. I think he may have some knowledge of the creature we’re looking for.”
“You be careful down there boss.”
My infrared sunglasses gave me the ability to follow the monster’s footsteps. I took each step slowly, not wanting to get ambushed. A squeaking noise from up ahead caught my attention. I followed the noise to its source.
It appeared to be a toy. I picked it up, inspecting it. Without warning, something from above hit me on the head knocking me out.
**********
I awoke in a small room. Clyde was bellowing in my ear.
“Boss. Are you there Izaak?”
“Yeah I’m here. I just got ambushed, that’s all.”
“What do you still have left with you in terms of supplies?”
Apart from my sunglasses and earpiece, I was left with nothing. “They pretty much stripped me bare. I’m trapped in a little room now.”
“Well you need to find an escape route fast. And you also need to find that red candy again.”
I hadn’t even thought about that. The red candy would be my only way out of here. The problem was the only red candy I could take would be the one that was down in the drain here somewhere since it was an appropriate size for me to take, now that I was tiny. If I had any chance of escaping I needed to find that red candy.
A door opened. A monster stepped in, resembling the monster I encountered earlier but clearly a woman.
“Please sit down,” she said.
I took a seat on the floor. With no obvious options of escape I had no other choice but to listen.
“My name is Glingee. I have to apologize for the actions of my son Sklar. He tells me you’re a part of the Monster Hunting Agency. What is your name?”
“Izaak.”
“Why did you come down here?”
“There was a little girl that came to my agency because she was hearing roars from the drain of her bath tub and she saw octopus arms coming out of the drain.
Glingee laughed. “This girl must be referring to my daughter Flar. She’s an infant and doesn’t realize humans can perceive us as scary. I assure you that the human will not hear from my daughter again. And please give the girl my apologies.”
“I will.”
“Now we must get you back where you came from. Sklar!”
After a moment her son came into the room carrying my stuff. He had an angry look on his face.
“Why are we letting him go back? He hit me.”
Glingee took one of my squirt bottles and sprayed him in the chest. Sklar shook a moment and then smiled.
“I’m sorry Mother.” He handed me my gear.
“Now,” Glingee said, “let’s get you home.”
**********
Glingee pushed me out of the drain. After thanking her I took the red candy. Within moments I was back to my regular size. I walked out of the bathroom and joined Clyde in the hallway.
“Looks like the Pettigrew’s won’t be having any more problems with monsters,” I said.
We walked into the living room where the Pettigrew family was waiting for us.
“Well?” Allie asked expectantly.
“I took care of your problem. I talked with the mother of the monster who was making the noise and she promised that you’ll never hear from any monster again.”
“Oh thank you,” Allie said, giving me a hug.
“No problem. Remember, if you have any more troubles, call the Monster Hunting Agency. In the meantime, keep this monster spray with you. It’ll keep you safe.”
I handed her one of my spray bottles. The family thanked us and we left.
“Well Clyde, looks like we found some more monsters that’ll know not to mess with little kids.”
“You think we’ll ever stop all the monsters from scarring kids?”
I paused. “Maybe not. But I’m sure going to try.
**********
Case 2-Toiletron
The trio of monsters couldn’t believe their luck. Just inside the bedroom door sat a little baby boy in diapers playing on the ground with his toys. With no parent anywhere in sight, they could scare the kid and head home for the night happy.
“This is gonna be fun,” the head monster said.
He led his partners toward the unsuspecting child, taking each step slowly and deliberately. The child continued to play with his toys, various blocks and toy cars. The head monster approached the child and tapped him on the shoulder. The child turned and smiled.
“Look at this, guys,” he said to his fellow monsters. “This kid isn’t scared of us.”
The child laughed. “You sure of that pal?”
The monsters paused in shock. Before they could react, the child grabbed a block and threw it at the head monster’s face, forcing him to the ground. The other monsters advanced. The child jumped up and kicked the monster on his left in the face. He grabbed the monster on his right by the head and forced him to the ground. He pinned the monster to the ground with his knees.
“Make a move and you’ll be eating my diaper.”
The sound of clapping caused the boy to turn. His brother Izaak, head agent of the Monster Hunting Agency, approached.
“Good job Luke.”
He patted Luke on the shoulder. Luke stood up, letting the monster rise. Izaak approached the monster.
“Say hello to my little friend,” Izaak said.
He pulled out a spray canister and sprayed the monster with monster spray. Then he sprayed the other two monsters.
“And one more thing,” Izaak said. “You are all under arrest.”
**********
Izaak headed to the office of Big Daddy, his boss at the Monster Hunting Agency. He didn’t know what this meeting was about. He knew this wasn’t about something he’d done wrong but being kept in the dark like this made him feel uneasy. What could Big Daddy want to talk with him about? And another thing. Where was his partner Clyde? He reached Big Daddy’s office and walked in.
Big Daddy sat at his computer typing. Without looking up he said, “Take a seat.”
Izaak sat in the chair across from Big Daddy waiting for him to finish. Once he was, Big Daddy looked up.
“I heard about your big arrest the other day. Good job.”
“Thanks.”
“I got a big job for you but first I got some bad news. Clyde Roman has quit the Agency.”
“What? Why didn’t he talk to me about it?”
“It wasn’t his decision. His parents moved to Arkansas.”
Izaak sighed, trying not to let his anger and frustration get to him. “So this big job you have, I’ll be doing it alone?”
“I didn’t say that. I wanted you to meet your new partner.”
Big Daddy pressed a button on his intercom. “Send her in.”
The door opened. Izaak turned, wanting to see who this new person would be. Once that person walked in, he turned back to Big Daddy.
“My sister Ashley is my partner? But why?”
“Why not?” Big Daddy replied. “She’s a fully qualified agent like you. And frankly, she’s got some talent as an agent that you don’t.”
“Come on. I’m one of the best agents here.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t. But one person can’t claim to have talent in everything. That’s why we have partners. Now get to work. Luke is waiting for you in the equipment room.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Izaak said. “You never told me what I’m looking for.”
“Both of you will be looking for Toiletron.”
Izaak stood up. “Toiletron? I won’t do it.”
Big Daddy leaned forward in his chair. “I know your history with Toiletron. And I feel, with Ashley and Luke’s help, you can defeat him. You have the most experience with him so you are the perfect agent to bring him down. Now, off with you two.”
Big Daddy turned to his computer. Ashley rose and left the office. Izaak paused, sighed, and followed. Ashley waited for him outside the office door.
“You know it’s not going to be so bad,” she said.
“Shut up,” Izaak said. “Just stay quiet and do what I say.”
Ashley shrugged and followed Izaak to the equipment room where their brother Luke waited for them. Izaak opened the door and walked in, making sure the door would close as soon as Ashley reached the door. Luke stood by a shelf pulling off a device he wanted to work on. He turned when he saw his brother and sister. He motioned them over to his work area.
“What have you got for us Luke?” Izaak asked.
Luke smiled. “Oh, the usual. The only thing I really wanted to show you guys was my new invention.”
He brought Izaak and Ashley over to a table. Sitting on the table was some device covered by a sheet of tarpaulin. Luke pulled over the tarp to reveal his invention.
“I call it the Diaper Cannon. You take an average dirty diaper, depending on the baby of course, load it into the cannon, pull the trigger, and watch the doo doo fly.”
Ashley laughed. Izaak thought it was funny as well but he wasn’t about to make Ashley think he agreed with her on anything.
“Big Daddy didn’t give us an update on Toiletron. What brought us on the case?” Izaak asked.
Luke led them to his office. Once Izaak and Ashley sat down, Luke turned on his laptop and turned the screen toward his brother and sister. He started a video file that was already set up.
The video showed a little boy, around five years old, walking into a bathroom. The kid stepped to the toilet, pulled down his pants, and just as he was about to sit on the toilet to use it, he suddenly jumped off whimpering and peeing himself on the floor.
“A kid was scared. Where’s the monster at?” Ashley asked.
Luke pulled out two pairs of 3D glasses and handed them to his brother and sister. Once they put them on, he adjusted the sound settings on the computer and started the video again. It started off the same but Izaak and Ashley both jumped when they actually saw what scared the kid off the toilet. It was Toiletron. His enormous body lunged from the porcelain bowl and he pointed at the kid on the ground.
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha, I made you pee your pants, ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
At that point, Toiletron jumped back into the toilet. Izaak tossed off his 3D glasses and left Luke’s office. Ashley and Luke followed him out.
“Izaak, what’s wrong?” Ashley asked.
“Nothing I want to talk to you about. Let’s get this over with and finally defeat Toiletron.”
“Then let’s head over to that kid’s house so we can,” Ashley said.
**********
They arrived at the home of Peter Hellmuth around 6:30 pm. Izaak knocked on the front door waiting for one of Peter’s parents to answer. After a couple of knocks, the door opened. It was Peter’s father.
“What do you punk kids want?”
Izaak cleared his throat. “We’re, uh, agents from the Monster Hunting Agency. We’re here concerning a monster your son Peter saw.”
The man snorted. “That. The kid is lying. But hey, if I want a happy wife, I gotta let you kids in here. Follow me.”
The man led them into his house. They followed him back to the bathroom and left them as soon as his wife walked in. She introduced herself as Margaret.
“I hope Phil wasn’t too harsh with you. He just doesn’t believe in monsters.”
“Where’s your son ma’am?” Ashley asked. Izaak grimaced.
“He won’t come in here since the incident. He’ll either use the restroom at school or…” She wanted to save her son some embarrassment so she didn’t go on.
“Well, we’d like to get working ma’am so if you’d leave us,” said Izaak.
The woman thanked them and left the bathroom. Luke began pulling equipment from his bag. He gave his brother and sister their canisters of monster spray. He gave them their container containing the red and blue candies they would need to shrink them down and get into the toilet to search for Toiletron. One of the last things he pulled out was a clear plastic ball. The ball appeared to have very tiny exhaust pipes on the side and on the front of it sat a miniature version of the diaper cannon he showed them at the office.
“What’s that thing?” Izaak asked.
“You’ll see.”
Luke positioned the ball on the lid of the toilet. He motioned for Izaak and Ashley to stand with him on the toilet seat together.
“Now take your candies,” Luke said. “Once you’re shrunk down, you’ll see the purpose of my new creation.”
They all took their candies and momentarily shrunk down to miniature size. Once small they saw the entrance they couldn’t see earlier on the ball. It was no ball. It was a vehicle they could use to navigate through the sewer system. Luke pulled out a remote from his shirt, pressed a button, and the door to the ball opened up. Luke urged them onto the ship.
Once they were strapped in, Luke started the ship. With a slight nudge, the ship moved forward and fell into the toilet bowl. Izaak gripped the sides of his chair. Ashley held her hand out to him.
“It’s ok. I’ll hold your hand if you want.”
“Shut up. Don’t touch me.”
Ashley shrugged and stared out the window. Izaak kept his eyes away from the window, remembering his previous encounter with Toiletron.
He was five years old. He had never thought a monster could be real. That all changed when Toiletron decided to pay him a visit.
He went to the restroom one day and sat on the toilet. As he was going, he heard a bubbling coming from inside the toilet. He felt a hand reach up, touching his leg. He jumped off the toilet, scared. Toiletron popped out of the toilet and…
Izaak shook the thought out of his head. He had to focus on the job at hand.
“How much longer do we have to reach our destination?” Izaak asked Luke.
Luke looked at the dials of the ship. “We should be there soon.”
Izaak closed his eyes and relaxed.
**********
Luke pulled the craft to a stop. Ashley nudged Izaak awake.
“We’re here,” she said.
“I can see that. Did you need to poke me that hard?”
“Sorry.”
Luke turned off the engine and opened the main hatch. The three walked out and inspected their surroundings. They stood in a vast cavern. The walls, at least the wall nearest to them on their left, were dark black as was the ground. The air smelled of old, musty sweat socks that your mother never knew you didn’t wash but which you ended up wearing a lot. Luke unloaded some equipment from his backpack, handing Izaak and Ashley a hand held radar device.
“The last time our people encountered Toiletron we were able to attach a homing beacon on him. Use these devices to find him. I’ll stick around here to keep an eye on the ship.”
“Why would he let our people put a beacon on him?” Ashley asked.
“I don’t know the specifics but they did,” Luke said. “Now go get him.”
Izaak and Ashley grabbed their sunglasses and put them on. They started walking, letting the pings from their hand held radars lead them toward Toiletron.
**********
Izaak heard a noise. He raised his hand, having Ashley stop. Something was up ahead waiting for them. It wasn’t Toiletron but by the sound of it, that something up ahead was big and mean.
“Follow me but stay quiet,” Izaak said.
They took each step slow, scanning the entire area to try and see what lay ahead. Suddenly, Izaak was shoved to the ground. Ashley was picked up and embraced in a bear hug. A monster, standing at least two people taller than them, covered in bright purple fur and with the longest, sharpest teeth they’d ever seen, hugged Ashley and laughed.
“Ashley, my little human princess! How are you?”
“Pikefungus. I’m so glad to see you. Give me a kiss.”
The monster stuck out its tongue. Izaak winced. On its tongue was another set of lips that it used to kiss Ashley on the cheek.
“So what brings you down here Ashley?” Pikefungus asked.
“We’re searching for Toiletron. Have you seen him?”
Pikefungus frowned, turning his glance behind him, seemingly to see if anyone could be watching or hearing their conversation. He motioned for Izaak and Ashley to come closer to him.
“Please go home. They know you’re here. If Toiletron knew I came here to warn you he’d put me in jail. You have to go home.”
Izaak stepped forward, putting his hand on the monster’s shoulder. “Stop. We’re going to stop Toiletron no matter who gets in our way. So if you supposedly care for my sister, either come with us and help or get out of our way.”
Pikefungus stared at Izaak a moment before averting his eyes. He turned to Ashley, patted her on the cheek, and walked away in silence. Ashley turned to her brother.
“Why did you do that?”
“He was just trying to scare us off. We don’t need to deal with stuff like this. Let’s get going. We have work to do.”
Izaak turned his attention back to the radar and followed the signal. Ashley stood for a moment staring at her brother, not sure of what to think of everything that had just happened. Shaking her head, she began following him.
**********
Izaak and Ashley paused when they reached the entrance to what looked like a cave. Izaak pulled a small flashlight from his pocket, turning it on and aiming it into the darkness. Drips of water fell to the ground from the ceiling, making plinking noises in the cavernous space. Izaak turned to Ashley.
“Stick close to me. Places like this are ripe with Shadow Monsters.”
Izaak and Ashley pulled out their bottles of monster spray and stepped into the cave. Their footsteps echoed back to them, giving the impression of their footsteps being made by huge boulders. Ashley moved closer to her brother.
Suddenly something knocked the flashlight from Izaak’s hand. The flashlight flew forward, traveling many feet in front of them before something turned the light out. Ashley and Izaak stood with their backs to each other, monster spray at the ready. They headed in the direction they were heading in, each step taken slowly.
“Just stick close to me Ashley. We’ll get out of this.”
Laughter caused Izaak and Ashley to pause. Something brushed across Izaak’s arm, causing him to shiver.
“Human children. My, someone must like me.”
Izaak clutched Ashley’s arm. Something else brushed Izaak and Ashley’s hair.
“Run,” Izaak yelled.
They bolted for what they thought was the exit. As they ran, Ashley kicked something on the ground. Hearing it skid along the ground, she paused, hoping to hear where it stopped.
“Izaak, I think I found the flashlight.”
She moved her hand across the ground, madly searching the ground for the flashlight. Izaak yelled for her to get up and run. Finally, her hand bumped against the flashlight. She picked it up and turned it on, searching the cave for Izaak. She found him in the darkness. She smiled.
“Time for a girl to handle things.”
Izaak watched as Ashley began dancing through the cave. He shook his head. What does she think she’s doing? he thought?
She continued prancing around the cave, doing her best impression of a ballerina. Just as it seemed she’d lost her mind, out of nowhere Ashley jumped up and did a kick in the air. Izaak shook his head in bewilderment…until he heard a bump on the ground.
“What? How?” He stammered as Ashley walked past him, tossing him his flashlight.
Ashley smiled. “You always forget Izaak. Girls rule in boys drool.”
**********
The exit of the cave loomed ahead. Izaak shut off the flashlight, a bright glow guiding them to their destination.
“Do you think we’re close to finding Toiletron?” Ashley asked.
“We’ll have to ask these guys waiting for us up there,” he replied.
Waiting at the exit of the cave were two of the freakiest monsters Izaak had ever seen. One stood at least double his height, covered in bright orange fur, huge oval eyes, and long dirty fingernails. On his feet was a ratty pair of tennis shoes. The other monster was a squat little thing. It’s body a leathery black. A white mow hawk sprouted from the top of its head. The tall monster headed toward Izaak and Ashley.
“Come with me. Da boss wants to see you.”
Izaak looked at Ashley, shrugged, and followed the monsters. They exited the cave. The monsters stripped Ashley and Izaak of their monster spray. They walked into what appeared to be a steep valley. Straight ahead sat a huge castle entrance built into a mountain. The monsters led them to the entrance of the castle, opened the huge doors, and led them inside.
A huge entrance hall awaited them. The two monsters closed the front door. The big orange monster turned to Izaak and Ashley.
“Stay right here. The boss will be right with you.”
With that, the two monsters walked out of the room. The silence weighed on Izaak and Ashley like a blanket. Izaak turned to his sister.
“Stay close to me. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
A rumbling noise got their attention. They looked around, not knowing the exact source of the noise. Suddenly, the far wall burst away. A huge monster resembling a Tyrannosaurus Rex with an overbite walked into the room and gave a roar. It was Toiletron.
Izaak stepped back against a wall and started trembling. The terrifying monster from his memories, the monster that made him afraid of using the toilet, towered over him roaring, bearing his terrible teeth. Izaak began to cry.
Ashley stood at the side of Toiletron, staring at the horrendous beast as it attempted to terrify her and her brother. Something was bothering her. What was it? Something about this creature struck her as wrong and…
Once the realization hit her, she couldn’t do anything but smile. Ain’t nobody going to make my brother cry, she thought. She ran toward the monster’s tail.
Izaak saw Ashley run toward the monster. He held out his hand. “Ashley, no.”
Stricken with fear, he watched as his sister ran to Toiletron’s tail, lifted it up, and…, and…
“Ewwwww.”
He watched as his sister entered Toiletron in a rather unconventional way. Nothing seemed to happen. Then suddenly, Toiletron paused. Music erupted from his mouth and the monster began to dance.
“Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!”
The monster began swaying to and fro. Izaak ran out of the way as Toiletron stumbled in his direction. Izaak watched in amazement as the monster crashed to the ground. In the ensuing silence, Izaak heard some clattering inside Toiletron’s head. The clattering stopped. Izaak saw Ashley’s head poke out of Toiletron’s ear.
“Guess what I found Izaak?”
Ashley climbed out of Toiletron’s ear dragging a furry little creature behind her.
“Wha…, what is that?” Izaak asked.
“This, brother, is the real Toiletron. His real name is Larry.”
Izaak stood, confused. “So the monster I’ve been afraid of all these years is…, is a little hairball?”
Ashley picked up Toiletron. The little monster began squeaking.
“It would appear so.”
Izaak slowly approached the monster. “Why have you been scaring kids Larry?”
The little monster huffed. “You all get to be so big. You all get to grow up and tower over everyone. That won’t happen to me. So I did the only thing I felt was right. That’s scare every little kid I could.”
Izaak, his courage growing by the second, stepped forward. “Well pal, you’re under…”
A noise to their left got their attention. The two monsters who led them to this hall were back and running in their direction. Toiletron broke free from Ashley’s grasp and ran toward his friends. The monster’s crept toward Izaak and Ashley, laughing. Izaak clutched his sister.
A boom from the right caused everyone to turn. A white ball flew toward the monsters, hitting the small one with the mow hawk in the face. Izaak and Ashley turned to each other.
“Diaper cannon,” they said in unison. They ran toward the hole in the wall the cannon ball made. Pikefungus poked his head through the hole.
“Ashley, Izaak. Follow me. I brought Luke.”
Izaak and Ashley jumped out of the hole. They paused. The back of the castle was right at the edge of the river where Luke parked their boat. They ran toward their waiting brother, Pikefungus at their heels.
“I did what I could Ashley dear. But be warned, the monsters are getting together against the Monster Hunting Agency. They’ve started their own organization, M.A.C.E., Monsters Against Children Everywhere. Do be careful.”
They reached the boat. Before Ashley got on the boat, she hugged her friend.
“Thank you for your help. Be careful.”
Pikefungus poked out his tongue with the lips and kissed her on the cheek. “I will.”
Izaak shook Pikefungus’s hand, thanking him for his help. They entered the boat, watching Pikefungus run off. The other three monsters, with Toiletron in the lead, ignored Pikefungus and headed toward the boat. Luke got the engines started and they were off. Just as they thought they were out of danger, Izaak saw a boat materialize out of thin air. Toiletron and his friends got on that boat and began pursuing them. Izaak grabbed the diaper cannon.
“Is this thing loaded?” Izaak asked Luke.
“Yeah. I had lunch a couple hours ago so we should be set for ammunition.”
Izaak aimed the cannon at Toiletron’s boat and fired. It splashed to the right. He fired again. Another miss. Shot after shot erupted from the muzzle of the diaper cannon, none of them reaching their mark. Izaak pulled the trigger one more time and heard a click.
“We’re out of diapers.”
Luke rose. “No we’re not. Grab the controls.”
Izaak grabbed the steering wheel. Luke walked over to the diaper cannon. Without hesitation, he pulled down his pants, took off his diaper, and placed the last bit of ammunition he could make into the cannon barrel. He aimed and fired.
The diaper sailed across the river. To Ashley, it seemed as if it were flying in slow motion. She watched as the diaper landed squarely in Toiletron’s face, his friend’s getting hit with ricochets. Their boat lurched to the right, turning over. The last image Ashley saw of them was Toiletron shaking his fist at them.
**********
Izaak, Ashley, and Luke stepped out of the bathroom and informed Mrs. Hellmuth that Peter would not be hassled by Toiletron again. She thanked them for their help. On their way out, she gave them some cookies.
As Mrs. Hellmuth closed the front door, Izaak turned to his sister.
“How did you know Toiletron was inside a robot and not the robot itself?”
“Izaak, you know what my favorite movie is, right?”
“The Wizard of Oz?”
“Of course. Once I saw that robot burst through the wall I knew he was using that thing to scare people and that it wasn’t really Toiletron. And it also said ‘Made in Taiwan’ on his tail.”
“Thank you Ashley. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.”
Izaak gave his sister a hug. She smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
**********
“So they got away Toiletron?”
“Yeah boss. I knew I could make Izaak run away but it was his crazy sister that found me out.”
“Ah, yes. Ashley. You said Pikefungus helped the humans out?”
“Yeah. I saw him help them to their ship.”
“Find him. He’ll regret the day he interfered with M.A.C.E.”
Case 3-All of Your Toys
There was a knock at the closet door. Heather sat up in bed and stared. The knocking started a little less than five minutes ago, waking her out of a deep sleep. It sounded like someone’s knuckle hitting the back of the door. Who is making that noise? she asked herself. She sat up and stepped out of her bed. She walked over to her light switch flicking it on. The noise stopped. Heather thought of her Father, wondering what he would do if he heard a noise like this. Before she could think of an answer, a voice called out her name.
“Heather.”
She froze and smiled. Tenny. She ran to her closet door and opened it. Standing inside the closet was her precious teddy bear Tenny. She picked him up and gave him a loving embrace.
“I’m so glad you came.”
“I told you I would. I would never lie to you,” Tenny said. Heather set him on the ground, taking a seat next to him on the floor.
“So what story are you going to tell me tonight?”
Tenny sat on Heather’s lap. “I don’t have a story tonight. I just wanted to tell you that I may not be able to see you again.”
Heather stared, her mouth opening and closing in shock. How could this be? Tenny had belonged to her since long before she could remember. Her Father told her it was the last gift her Mother bought before her Mother died. This teddy bear was the only link she had, the only connection she would ever have with her Mother.
“You can’t leave.”
“But I must. You’re getting older now and there’s only so much time I have left to be with you. So I’ve come to tell you goodbye.”
“Please don’t go. I love you. You can’t leave.”
“But I have to. You’re getting older and one of these days, you’ll no longer want me around. So I’ve decided to move to Toyland.”
“Toyland? What is that?”
“It’s a wonderful land where all the toys go when kids get too old. It’s the greatest place ever made. Any toy you could think of would be there.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s a place of refuge for toys that have no home. And I must leave cause that will be my home.” Tenny headed for the closet.
Heather held back the tears that wanted to flow. She couldn’t explain why she was so sad. The thought of never seeing Tenny again just wasn’t something she wanted to think about. She held out her hand.
“Let me come with you.”
Tenny paused, turning his head back toward Heather with a smile on his face. “You really want to come to Toyland with me?”
**********
Ashley sat at her desk staring at her work. It had been over a month since the Toiletron case and since then she’d seen nothing but paperwork. Big Daddy had asked that her and her brothers write down every detail of the case due to the revelation of her monster friend Pikefungus that an organization was out there that was signaling them out. That organization was called M.A.C.E., Monsters Against Children Everywhere. Since the Toiletron case, no other information had come up in regards to this organization and what its ultimate goals were.
There was a knock on her office door. “Come in,” she said. Her brother Izaak walked in.
“You can put that stuff away for now. Momma wants us in her office.”
Ashley blinked in shock. “Momma wants to see us? What, did Big Daddy get in trouble?”
Izaak laughed. “No, he’s fine. Momma is in charge of the M.A.C.E. investigation and took it over from Big Daddy. And as we know, what Momma wants, Momma gets. Let’s go see her.”
Ashley rose and followed Izaak to Momma’s office. Momma was the head of the Monster Hunting Agency. She was the strongest, most impressive monster hunter Ashley ever knew. If Momma wanted to see them, she knew whatever they were supposed to be doing was important. Izaak opened the door for his sister and they entered Momma’s office. They each grabbed a chair at Momma’s desk. After a few minutes, Momma entered the room.
“Good afternoon you two. Thank you for coming so fast.”
“Like we had a choice,” Izaak smirked.
Momma stared at Izaak. He smiled a moment, trying to keep her stare, and then turned away. Momma took a seat at her desk. She handed files to Izaak and Ashley.
“We have a lead on this M.A.C.E. organization. It’s not much of a lead but it’s the best we have. I want the two of you to find out more.”
Izaak and Ashley looked through the files. Ashley saw a name that brought a smile on her face.
“Pikefungus gave us the lead?”
Momma nodded. “Yes he did. The fact that he did does raise a problem. He’s in danger and I want you two to make sure he’s safe. Luke will set you two up with all the equipment you need. You may go now.”
Izaak and Ashley rose. They left Momma’s office and headed toward Luke’s lab. Ashley walked faster than usual, wanting to get to work right away in order to help protect her friend.
“Ashley, wait up,” Izaak said.
“We have to hurry. Pikefungus is in danger.”
“I know but we won’t be able to protect him if we’re totally out of breath.”
Ashley slowed down. “Sorry. I’m just worried.”
“I know. He saved us from Toiletron and his minions. But in order to save him we have to do this right. And the first thing we have to do is see Luke.”
“You’re right. Thanks.”
They arrived at Luke’s lab. Izaak held the door open for his sister. They entered. Luke was at the back of the lab with his back to them, putting together a new project. Izaak and Ashley walked up to their brother.
“What you working on?” Izaak asked.
Luke turned and smiled. He held up a small square box with a red button in the middle of it. He pressed the button. “Phhhht!” was the sound that came from the box. After a couple seconds, a horrible stench came out of nowhere. Izaak and Ashley plugged their noses and gagged. Luke laughed.
“Better than a whoopee cushion. I call it the Fart Master 4000.”
“How does it get rid of monsters?” Ashley asked.
“It doesn’t. But it’s great for parties.”
Luke led Izaak and Ashley to another part of the lab. “Momma told me what you guys are going to be doing. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to come along for the ride this time. Seems that my little diaper canon kinda got me on field suspension. But I got some toys you guys are gonna love.”
Luke grabbed a pair of squirt guns and tossed them to Izaak and Ashley. “Seems Big Daddy was able to pull some strings and actually got you two some actual squirt guns and not the spray bottles you all used to have. These are long range squirt guns and man, they could take out a monster at five hundred feet.”
Izaak held the gun up. “Lock and load baby!”
Luke and Ashley stared at him. Izaak shrugged. “So? I always wanted to say that.”
Luke turned back to his devices. He handed Ashley a spray can
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Instant adhesive. There are some monsters out there that are fast as lightning. You spray this in their general direction they’ll instantly be frozen wherever they’re at. Handy stuff to have around.”
Luke led them to a table. A sheet covered something on the table. He paused for dramatic effect before pulling the sheet off the item.
“What is it?” Izaak asked.
“The Miniaturizer. You strap this baby on your back. When you come across a monster that’s too big to handle, you aim the barrel straight on the monster and boom, you make them the size of a mouse.”
Izaak smiled. “Nice. Wish you made this earlier. We could have used this against Toiletron.”
Luke raised an eyebrow. “Don’t question my work. Now get packed up. You both have a special transport waiting for you.”
**********
“A closet? How can this be a special transport?” Izaak asked.
“According to the files, it’s a transport that the Monster Hunting Agency acquired from a company that used to run in the monster world. It served as a gateway between the human and monster worlds. What they did with it we’re not totally sure but we have it and now it’s our way to get into monster land.”
“What? They couldn’t get more creative than this? A closet?”
“As long as it gets us there that’s all that counts. Now if you don’t mind…”
Ashley opened the closet door and stepped inside. After a moment’s hesitation, Izaak followed his sister inside. Ashley felt a cold shiver run across her body; her hair rose up like when a balloon full of static electricity ran across your head. After what seemed like forever, Ashley felt the air turn cold. She knew she’d arrived in the monster world.
She turned and saw Izaak appear behind her. He rubbed his hands across his arms, warming up his body.
“That was weird,” he said. “Do we know where Pikefungus is going to be?”
“Of course. If you had read the paperwork, you would have found that info. Just follow me.”
Izaak followed his sister. They traveled what seemed like hours through the barren wasteland that this area of monster land seemed to be. They traveled without speaking, each one worried about the mission ahead. Ashley was worried about her friend Pikefungus. She knew that he was going against the monster code by being friends with a human. But he’d told her that there was no reason why humans and monsters could not be friends. There was no reason for them to dislike each other the way they did. Izaak was worried for his sister. He didn’t want to see his sister upset like this. While they didn’t always get along, he did everything he could to protect her. She was younger and he felt it was his duty to protect her from the bad things in the world.
Ashley held up her hand, stopping Izaak in his tracks. “The report said Pikefungus would meet us here.”
“Then where is he?”
“The report said he would be here so we’re going to wait.” Ashley took a seat on the ground. Izaak joined her.
“I got to tell you Ash, I’m really uncomfortable with this.”
“Why?”
“Can’t really explain it actually. I just have a bad feeling about this.”
“Funny. Look, we can trust Pikefungus. He’s been a trusted friend of mine for a long time…”
“You’re six. How can you have any friend for a long time?”
“Shut up. Just remember the help he gave us against Toiletron.”
“Sorry Ashley. I’m just not that trustful a person. And I think I have every reason to be.”
A noise in the distance prevented Ashley from responding. Izaak rose, stepping between his sister and the noise. After what seemed like forever, a figure appeared in the darkness. The closer he got to them, the more the distinctive features of Pikefungus became recognizable. Within moments, he appeared before them. Ashley rose and gave him a hug.
“Pikefungus, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Princess Ashley, I can’t begin to tell you how I’ve missed you. But follow me you two. Big things are afoot. We cannot delay any longer. Follow me.” Pikefungus started off in the direction he had come. Ashley looked at Izaak. He shrugged and followed the monster.
**********
Pikefungus walked up to the castle door and opened it, holding the door for Izaak and Ashley as they stepped into the amazing building. The room they stepped in seemed out of place with the dark, barren wasteland outside. The room erupted with colors. The curtains were a bright red, the carpet they stepped on was an almost blinding orange, the chandelier hanging from the ceiling, besides being amazing due to its size, the colors it emitted thanks to the lights coming through the massive windows were almost like a gigantic rainbow was planted in the room and growing up into the sky. Pikefungus closed the door behind him and stepped forward, taking Ashley’s hand.
“We have a lot to talk about. Follow me. I’ve made us a nice dinner to enjoy while we discuss M.A.C.E.”
Pikefungus led them into the heart of the castle. Izaak felt the shadows slowly come up from who knows where, seemingly reach out to them as they walked. He didn’t know what was wrong, couldn’t put his finger on what was going on, but he didn’t like this. Not one bit. Izaak stared at his sister, trying to guess what she was thinking about. Whatever it was, he had no clue.
“So why did you decide to contact the Monster Hunting Agency?” Ashley asked.
“Well, in terms of my people, there are some of us that want this war to end. Humans are just like monsters in many ways. There are good humans and bad humans. You can’t say all humans are bad just because a few of them are big meanies. So some friends and I decided we were going to do whatever we could to prove to our other monster brothers and sisters that humans were not all bad.”
“But aren’t you afraid that having a meeting with two agents from the Monster Hunting Agency would put you and your friends in danger?” Izaak asked.
“That’s a danger that’s loomed over us for the longest time,” Pikefungus said, arriving at a door. “But I’ve just made a deal that will make my monster brothers and sisters see the light about humans forever.”
Pikefungus pressed a button on the wall. The door in front of them slid open, revealing a room full of monsters with evil intentions in their faces staring at them. Izaak and Ashley both went for their squirt guns but before they had the chance to aim them, a monster with the power of speed took all their weapons away. Ashley turned toward Pikefungus, the pain and anguish in her eyes was unable to be masked.
“I’m sorry,” Pikefungus said. “I had no choice.”
“You…you Lando.”
Before Izaak and Ashley could react any further, a handful of dust was tossed in their face. After inhaling it once, they both fell fast asleep.
**********
Izaak opened his eyes slowly, the sleep not wanting to leave his body. The dream he was having was quite fun and it wasn’t something he wanted to stop. But the more consciousness crept back into his body, the more he remembered what was going on. Izaak finally realized where he was and opened his eyes.
Where am I? he thought. The room he was in was drab, gray, and had the feeling of old movies from the 1980’s that his father watched. The room was as empty with no windows indicating where he was at. He rose and stretched. He started pacing.
He had to find out where he was and how to get out of here. He had to find his sister to make sure she was safe. A noise caught his attention. He turned, watching part of the wall open up, a monster with seven eyes and dark silver skin walking into the room.
“You are one ugly monster,” Izaak said.
“And you are one ugly human,” the monster replied.
Izaak stared at the monster. “So you’re in here. Where am I?”
“Your new home. Toyland.”
Izaak smirked. “Toyland? What, did you spend ten bucks on this place?”
“You’re funny for a human. Now follow me. My leader wishes to speak with you.”
“Take me to your leader.”
The monster led Izaak out of the room. A long, cramped hallway led to what seemed like nowhere was before him. The monster led Izaak down the hallway. While he couldn’t see any doors, from the noises he heard he knew people were trapped in rooms behind the wall.
They walked from what seemed like twenty minutes taking turn after turn, heading in no particular direction in particular. They reached a dead end.
“You led me to a wall. Nice,” Izaak said.
The monster faced him, blinked his seven eyes, and smiled. The floor jolted, causing Izaak to lose his balance. Before he realized it, the floor lowered down to the floor below him.
The room seemed like a throne room he’d see in books about King Arthur. Expensive looking curtains hung on the walls, the color a dark purple. Candles were lit and were all over the throne room. Straight ahead sat a large golden throne. The monster took Izaak by the hand bringing him to the throne. As they reached the throne, the monster went to his knees.
“Behold the King. The King of Kings. On your knees dog.”
Izaak stood his ground, not wanting to go along with what this stupid monster wanted. Without warning the silver monster pulled Izaak to the ground. Trumpets blared in the room. Izaak put his hands to his ears. To his left, the wall slid open. Monster guards holding flags stepped into the room. The guards made a pathway, raising the flags over their heads. Suddenly the trumpets stopped. The king monster entered the room. Izaak stared at this…monster in shock.
It was a man.
Izaak turned to the gray monster. The monster smiled.
“You don’t have to be a monster to be a monster.”
The man walked slowly to his throne, taking a seat. He glared at Izaak and the gray monster.
“What child is this that is brought before me?” The King asked.
“It’s Izaak, lead agent for the Monster Hunting Agency.”
“Ahh yes. The annoying little agency that has been hampering business. Tell me why I shouldn’t destroy you now little boy?”
“Destroy? Who writes your dialogue?”
The King laughed. “I heard you had a mouth on you. It’s nice to hear it in person.”
“You’re Majesty,” Izaak said, “to what do I owe the pleasure of being here?”
The King leaned back in his throne. “Your organization has been a thorn in the side of M.A.C.E. for too long. And this project I’m leading for M.A.C.E. needed no disturbance. So we decided to get the two best agents from the Monster Hunting Agency and…borrow them until our plan reaches fruition.”
“You kidnapped me and my sister.”
“Maybe so, but I think my explanation was a little more articulate.”
“So what do you have planned for us?” Izaak asked.
“You and your sister will join our other guests as cogs in our master plan.”
“How so?”
The King smiled. “Why explain it when you’ll get the gist of things momentarily? Guards, take him away and get him to work.”
The gray monster grabbed Izaak by the arm and led him out of the throne room. Izaak didn’t resist. He had to find a way out of here but causing a disturbance that would cause them to look more closely at him and his sister would not help.
**********
Luke ran into Momma’s office. “I’ve lost Izaak and Ashley’s signal.”
Momma rose from her desk. “What?”
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