The Predator’s Tits
German Alcala
Published by German Alcala at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 German Alcala
The Predator’s Tits
Poem Listing
9 – Going To Hell In A Handbasket
13 – How I Became Public Enemy No. 1
14 – Fuck!... They Did It Again
1
The Predator’s Tits
The morning welcomes a wild call of the villagers
The drums and fires of war are put into their beat
“We’re on the search for a monstrous creature!”
The monster is on the run deep in the forest
They call me a predator I’m a Mexican creature
You want to see crazy? Just look in my eyes
It hasn’t been long since a lover left me to die
It hasn’t been long since somebody in my inner circle
Gave himself the hang, and any minute now
The rest of my inner circle will fall apart
You see it is the same people in my inner circle
Who plan to call the police on me
Just listen to the screams that ring
Day and Night in anger, searching to prove me evil
Where is the monster who has killed so many others?
Where is the predator that is to blame for everything?
We’re on the search for a horrible creature from Hell!
Somebody needs to go down and take the blame!
It’s him!
To blame!
Bitten by wild creatures, covered in mud and dirt
I continue to run, I can no longer claim innocent
Nobody will believe me and absolve me of accusations
Let me dance across the wild plants frantically
Predator! A bastard!
You have nothing left!
Where will you go!?
Predator! Fucking freak!
I am a predator, a crazy fucking bitch, be weary of me
I’m a dark creature who will bite off your hand
I’m a psychotic monster who will love and hate you
But is it only for acting differently that I’m crucified?
Fuck this!
Predator! You have no excuse! No self respect!
No dignity! No love! No soul! No friends!
Julius Cesar could relate to you!
But never would he touch you!
You predator bastard, go to Hell!!!
They tell me I’ll go to Hell, but I know one thing
I’m going to meet them there
Oh, may God forgive them for betraying me
I’ve surely gone insane, but I no longer care
I’m surely a predator, but I no longer give a damn
Bonus Poem
Straight Jacket
Crawling across the dirt, and seeking live game
In the hunt I can never feel any sort of shame
Take the blood of an animal and use it as paint
I’m the predator and I’ll make any animal faint
Take the mud from the earth and use it as eye-shadow
I’m the predator no matter how large others may grow
And the village folk come through the trees
I climb to the highest branch to continue being free
No use. They’ve spotted me and they have a truck
I can’t run, or at least I won’t go far before I’m stuck
Now, they’ll take me down soon enough, but no fear
Because I’ll fight my way out to come back here
Put me in a straight jacket and slam me away forever
I’ll be back in the streets by dinner time as a survivor
Put me in a straight jacket, because I’m legally insane
Realize I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain
Put me in a straight jacket, but you won’t keep me long
I’m not scared to crawl out because I’m willing and strong
I’m pretty disturbed, but don’t be afraid of me
I have no weapons anywhere that you can’t see
I have them out for the sun in my hands to use
Cut through the plants and delve deeper into abuse
It’s pretty scary to go farther into the woods
But I’ll find my way through to valuable goods
There’s nothing that scares me except lack of freedom
I am the predator so trust me to never bring boredom
I know the way of the jungles and the ways of life
I have my smarts and it makes it useless to carry a knife
I know what you want, you want to imprison me
But I’ll always live for nothing more than being free to be
So, put me in a straight jacket I’ll bite through the walls
I’ll steal regular clothing from the surrounding malls
Then again why bother with clothing at all, I’ll go nude
Run back to the wild, and spend my days collecting fruit
Wrap me in a straight jacket and lock me away for life
However, don’t expect me to endure the terrible strife
It’s pretty obvious that I’ve gone insane over time
But I’m nowhere near done with my batty rhyme
So put in a straight jacket. Sue me. Kill me. Laugh
Stab me in the back. Burry me, and then you can laugh
But trust that up above I’ll stock through the clouds
One day you’ll die, and I’ll pounce on you in the clouds
I’m the predator, a wild animal that you can’t handle
Simply approaching me is putting your life in a gamble
But don’t be scared of what can only be good for you
For I try to be sweet, sincere to you, and very true
But if you should take out a net or a knife I’ll pounce
And when I let myself go I don’t hold back any ounce
I don’t think you would want to be in my bad books
Because I can deceive the deceitful with sweet looks
I don’t think you want to wrap me in a straight jacket
I know those things cost a lot and I’ll leave it in a casket
Should you try it, I’ll hate you forever so keep me glad
Before I let you know what a predator is and get so bad
A vicious creature, a predator, don’t come near me
I’ll crawl and bite if you try to deter me from being free
I see your eyes and I can tell that you envy my freedom
There’s not much I can say about your life of boredom
I know nothing of simplicity, but if you would want to trade
I’d give you the whip as long as you promise not to be afraid
If you’d like to trade places with me, and be free
I invite you to. You’d eventually pay a penalty
The predator endures too much for my liking
Every other person thinks you are always lying
Take away my whip and my ability to climb
I won’t want to come back in any future time
2
Clean Conscious
How could you do this me?
I already know about how much you hate me
So you should just walk away
I know you want to, so just leave me here
Don’t pretend to be sorry, because you suck as an actor
I’m sick and tired of you, so just walk away
Leave me here and walk, but when you come back
I will no longer be here, and I won’t be waiting for you
Because I know that you leave with a smile
I know that you hate my guts and I don’t know why
But you can leave with a clean conscious no matter what
Like a prodigal son I know you’ll come back and I don’t care
I know you want to come back, but for now you smile
You walk away and leave I won’t be here waiting
You leave with a clean conscious after everything you’ve done
All of this pain, heartbreak, and hatred effects only me
After everything you’ve done to me
After everything you’ve taken
Leave me here, and don’t worry
Walk away with a clean conscious. Forget all the tears I weep
I know you’ll sleep like baby, and I’ll toss and turn
But don’t worry, I’ll live.
I won’t die from the stab now upon my back
A clean conscious…
Leave me and don’t come back, I don’t care anymore
You leave think that I’ll be here waiting for you
But that’s wrong
I won’t be waiting for you
I respect myself much more than that
Walk away with a clean conscious; I know you’ll be fine
I won’t find somebody else to heal me of my pain
I respect myself more than that
I’ll make it alone
I’ll fight my way through the jungles of this world
And I won’t rot by the door waiting for you
There’s nothing left for me in you, I will live on
While one day you will die and forever be gone
I will go down in history with only thing
The memory of you
So leave me with clean conscious, hit me and forget it
I know that one day I will sit on the shoulders of Gods
And you will rot… you won’t live long… I’m tired
You know how much I love you, but that’s enough
As far as you care I might as well never see you again
And as far as I care you can go on to become king of Heaven
I won’t be dragged behind you anymore
I respect myself too much
I’m done with all the games; I’m fed up with the pain
So leave with a clean conscious as the pain eats at me
But before you know it I’ll have moved on and you’ll be back
But my address will have changed
And you’ll have no worry and can have a clean conscious
So leave me here, and make sure you forget this place
3
Grinding Against The Wall
Sorrow has come too close to a once peaceful home
I think I might as well live in an airless dome
Because it’s very obvious that no one can hear me
Nobody‘s hand is coming the dark well
I’ll write of how I feel, not how I ever fell
I feel like my power has been brought to an end
I cannot push further, because my limit is met
There’s a wall here that I just can’t pass
Unless I become a ghost I’ll never pass
Now I realize that my limit is in sight
I realize that all my fears are now in flight
The pressure against me is too much to bear
I’m grinding against the wall and I’ll soon tear
I’m grinding against the wall as I fall to the floor
There is nothing left for me to aspire to or to adore
Now I only want to die, I have nobody and nothing
There is a darkness that I have stopped resisting
I am grinding my face against the wall and blood appears
Wanting to see somebody to return to me I only see tears
There’s only this dark energy and nothing different
I know my angels have shaken their heads and left
All my friends have said goodbye or shooed me away
Now I just want this to be my last living day
Grinding against the wall I’ve never been so low
I need to get past this wall for there’s nowhere to go
Grinding against the wall I know only of sadness
Everybody has left and now I realize loneliness
I realize that if I cross the wall I will find a new wall
And soon enough I’ll find another thing to make me fall
Grinding against the wall I bleed and shake
Hoping for this pain to take a break
But it doesn’t care and I’ll be dead soon
Soon somebody will toss the harpoon
Hopefully I’ll die soon and see the light
There’s nothing here but fright
4
Made A Victim
No, I won’t be the idiot to follow you
And I will not walk over the edge of sanity
And if it means that I’ll be left here so blue
I really won’t take it so hard. I’ll live in vanity
In the end we won’t miss each other
In the end we only hurt each other
Leave me and don’t leave me uncrushed
Couldn’t prove myself a superhero, I won’t die
And when I take my last glance at you
I realize that I have no reason to cry
No, your idiot has finally died
You lead him into the abyss
We’ll be strangers and I’ll find
In my solace some peace
If we’re done. I won’t be the victim
Cut at the bonds that tie us, but I won’t cry
I won’t play the clown anymore for you
You had me once, you lost your chance
I won’t be made the victim of this anymore
No, I won’t be the victim or the idiot, not anymore
I’ll lay on a floor, cry for you, but won’t be your whore
Now I see that you are what I thought you were
I can see past the mask that you have carved yourself
I won’t die and I won’t place my heart on the dusty shelf
The bonds between us no longer exist
No, I won’t be made the victim in this
You threw my love into the abyss
And now I can find my own bliss
Oh, where is your love, the force of awe
I know where it is now, it’s gone
It’s down a well without a rope
I won’t be the victim here and you will not be the victor
This is over in all the meaning of the word
We’ll be strangers, not friends, not enemies, nothing
No, I won’t be an idiot, not for you or anybody else
I’ve learned. This is done
Bonus Poem
Covered In Sand
Suffocated in tears I’m asked to confess crimes
But I have nothing to confess, I’ve done nothing
I have so many things to confess in these rhymes
But I know well that I’ve done not a single thing
To be frank I’m tired of this I don’t want to cry
There is much to cry about, but I won’t continue
It’s your fault and mine as well that I slowly die
But there is nothing in your friendship that is true
Or ever was
I feel like I’ve been to the beach and covered in sand
With smiles on your faces you placed me down here
And then when I needed to get out there was no hand
You were paralyzed by your own wild fear
Covered in sand there is nothing here for me
The sand crawls into every pore in my skin
And the ocean is all I can see
I feel like I am made of sin
I’ll be honest and I’ll admit that I wish for death
Every night lately
Every time I wake up I regret having a breathe
I only wallow sadly
Now let’s stop this game, the sun is tired
And my feet are buckling under pressure
So leave me. Consider yourself fired
Because either way you’d leave me deserted
There is no easy way to stop this pain
But I know how easy it is to leave me behind
Covered in sand I’ve been stabbed in the back
I realize that I’m surrounded by idiots so blind
I’ve never thought things would be left like this
I always thought we would never part ways
I’ve never questioned your loyalty to me or mine to you
But our friendship lies in forgotten days
5
The Light In His Eyes
Docile and intelligent.
Ride through the heavens
Settle when you reach the stars
They shine as brightly as you
There was once a boy I knew a bit
Bearing intelligence greater than mine
Inside him the strength of a king
Born so pure like everyone else
Lived with a cloud so dark over his head
Yet his eyes shone beyond the dark like stars
He died one day with tears in his bright eyes
Yet his soul knew well that it would ascend
Far from home, all he wanted was to return
Far from love, he had his weakest moment
Far from the strength I admired for, he was
Far from life, he took the rope and goodbye
The light in his eyes was quite brilliant
How I wondered at its beautiful glow
How it haunted me some days until I shook myself
The light in his eyes so brilliant and smart
He was much like me in some ways
Blinded eyes by love and thoughts
A Virgo as pure as the cleanest Earth
With a restraint for me as I had for him
How regrettable I did not allow myself
How regrettable that he detained himself
How regrettable he left doubts in his midst
How regrettable that he chose to leave
Skin smooth and tongue adorable
A picture of youth so admirable
How I cry to know he was buried
For he is still desperately needed
The light in his eyes will shine his way
Through the fogs in the skies he’ll go
The light in his eyes will shine on God
Through eyes that have no longer need cry
For he has no more pain or memory of it
For now he has no reason to carry grief
Sorrow, love, and pain are myths to him
The light in his eyes is now as pure as ever
The light in his eyes will dance across the moon
As it rises and falls over the poor mortals
That must live while he laughs in joy of peace
Waiting for the day they sit with him in the sky
For now he waits in his peace with only one toy
The lights in his eyes that dance across surfaces
Angels dance to the glide of his laughing lights
It’s his soul filled with happiness that lights him
In his midst he left behind doubt and cries
Still I believe with all my heart that he knows
That those doubts couldn’t matter more
For he is in another world where all is clear
Questions, accusations, lies, and tears
He holds nothing with them now
They can no longer feed off of him
For his eyes shine the darkness away
Resting in heaven or up above.
You never believed in God yourself.
I still know that you have peace.
I believe that you live on in joy.
6
I Admit I Envy You
I’ve always been the one to see the bright side of life
I’ve never been the type to cry and say I’m done
I’ve never felt the sting of my own hopeless knife
And you committed that act. You fought yourself and won
I realize how I wish I could die and know peace
How I feel so lonely without you and now I envy you
You left the world so easily and I envy your peace
I admit that I envy you I won’t be missed if I copy you
There’s nothing here only dark circles around me
And a heart that continues to slowly die. I worry
I worry that everything I’ve ever said was a lie
I lied about the hopes in life for people in a hurry
All those people that could not wait to kill themselves
I told them to stop. To think more slowly. I was wrong
I can only stand straight if I hold onto bookshelves
I realize that to continue living I am not that strong
I admit I envy you, I know I’m a coward, I want to be gone
I know you left behind pain, but now all you know is rest
So if it means leaving behind a few sad folk, they’ll move on
And then I’ll rest and it will be as if I never did exist
I miss you so much, but I can’t continue in this mess
I admit I envy you more than I could miss you
Because I know that now you only know happiness
That your warmth might once more be true
If I leave … I will know peace… I will know serenity
I will know all of God, and if he is not there
I do not care for I know that peace is in eternity
If I leave then my name will soon be lost to air
7
I Won’t Bring Him Back
We’re in this argument that has escalated
In the midst of a loss you’ve accused me
Your fear has allowed doubt to be created
But a child that’s on a witch hunt I won’t be
“Don’t you dare bring him into this”
You yelled at me when I said his name
The name of somebody who is now in bliss
In the midst of his death you play a game
I won’t bring him into anything, you idiot
I won’t try to bring him back into anything
He hung himself to escape being in any shit
You damn me for a fear that you’re carrying
“Don’t say his name any longer, he’s not in this”
Don’t tell me what to do. Here you have no power
You’re so scared of what I’ve done. You could piss
For all I know my crimes could make you cower
I don’t care what you think of my “crimes”
In quotations for those “crimes” are fiction
Ideas that are as fictitious as Gospel rhymes
Psychopathic nature is my new depiction
But I know that of me he never thought badly
I know that where he is he knows I’m innocent
And now his name is all I can think of so sadly
Now in the face of death we all feel so impotent
But I won’t bring him back into problems he left
I won’t bring him back into your mind to torment
However, he’s all I can think of since when he left
I won’t bring him back in your stupid tournament
I’m not the one leaving; I’m the one being wise
You’re the one who turned on me already
All you did was help fuel my hopeless cries
I didn’t think he would ever go. He wasn’t ready
I won’t bring him back, no matter how much I cry
I wish I could bring him back, and kiss his lips
Sorry for saying that, but I never had balls to try
Now the regret for it holds me in its mighty grips
But my regrettable restraint is not the point
The point is that I miss him more than you’d believe
Don’t tell anybody my immature secret
I denied it, and I didn’t want to believe he would leave
But I won’t bring him back, even though it would be neat
I don’t trust you anymore, so I wish I could ask him
These are all doubts that need a very delicate treat
I know he would come back and give all the fears a trim
But I can’t bring him back, because I don’t know how
And if what you say is true, if the accusations prevail
Then I’d rather leave him and preserve a nice memory
Because if what you say is true, it would make him a liar
Bonus Poem
The Knife In Your Back
Once upon a time so bright
Where there wasn’t any fright
All I had was joy and love
All I could do was help others
And connect with people and watch out
I was like the Aunty; they were the kids
And they’re now friends
And they walk away as I burn!
It hurts, it stings, and it burns
Stop complaining bitch!
That’s all you do, complain
What of the way you talked shit
What of the way you ridiculed?
And whatever happened to the puta
That didn’t care?
I think she’s gone and isn’t coming back
So bye bye to everything you love
It’s the knife in your hand that once cut
Now it’s the knife in your back that backfired
Where is all your charm?
What of your wit now?
I think you might be up the river without a paddle
Guess what?
I’m not helping you get back to the top
The knife in your back is there deservingly. Deal with it
It’s there, stuck, and you take it out yourself. You could
All the time you said “you’ll survive, you’ll make it, girl”
Now you’re the one on the floor and now you see
It’s not so easy to rise up from ashes
So take the knife in your back out and live
That was your advice to me
You remember all of the bitches you helped?
All the light you found? Well now you cry
And guess what?
Nobody’s shining light on your life
No, better yet they have decided you deserve worse
How about we turn on you on leave you behind?
That’s the knife in your back right now
It’s your fault
You were kind and sweet
Thoughtful
And now this is what you get, stupid cunt
This is what you get darling, this what you asked for
This is what you thought was so easy to do
Now take the knife in your back out and walk
You told me to live and I lived to do this
But do you remember the person you helped?
You couldn’t stop him from killing himself
It’s your fault he’s gone. Your fault and guilt.
It’s the way that you asked him not to
It’s the way you suffocated him about it
You asked him not to do it
He said he really should
Then you said “no, please don’t”
But he refused to listen and he left
Just like that, he’s gone, and he ain’t coming back
So feel the knife and let it take out blood
You don’t deserve
You don’t deserve blood
You don’t deserve light
Or food
Or drink
Or love
Or peace
And that is why we leave you
That is why we hate you
So, where is the human spirit you spoke of?
Where is the fierce strength you said everybody had?
You obviously don’t have it.
It’s your fault that you life here, crying, sad, and alone
It’s your fault that he left, you didn’t try to stop him
So, feel the knife in your back.
Feel the burn
Feel this moment
And let it be your portal to the rest of your life
The knife in your back is what I love
It is what you deserve and nothing else
The hatred and the loss. That’s about it
So prepare yourself, for in this world
There is no peace, no love
Just acting and we’re sick of games
So prepare yourself I have a game in store
Let’s play with your sanity
Let’s play with your heart
And then we’ll leave you at the end
The knife in your back will fall out one day
But for now let’s all play, let’s whisk you away.
8
The Dead Don’t Need Me
One boy killed himself, the other fell ill, and I cried
I felt so hopeless when the folks around me all died
Now the mortals left behind are all turning on me
A mess of idiots wasting energy in the midst of tragedy
My friends are all either dead or shooed me away
Now I realize the dead don’t need my crying ways
The dead don’t need me to cry over their loss
The dead already have other mortals with flaws
The dead have already forgotten my name
The dead don’t care about a mortal’s pitiful game
The dead don’t want or need me
So I’m absolved of responsibility
I’ve come to believe that the dead don’t need me
So, I will no longer cry because of any tragedy
Nobody really cares about me in life, why in death?
Nothing changes when somebody exhales a last breathe
The dead don’t want me
So I’m immune to tragedy
If when alive I was a stigma to you, then why cry?
It’s hypocritical, it’s lying, and it’s a waste of time
You’re dead, goodbye; I’ll miss you very much
But with the living I won’t bother to stay in touch
The dead don’t need me
So I’m done as a devotee
9
Going To Hell In A Hand Basket
Little boys up in Heaven putting themselves there
But to touch any sort of purity I won’t ever dare
It’s a scary thought. The stupid bitch in Heaven?
The fucker with the ambition, the venomous vixen?
I know I suck the life out of poor victimized folk
I’m a murderous monster and I’m easy to provoke
That’s why I know that I’m going down to Hell soon
When I die I’ll laugh and look below and into Hell swoon
Down to the fires and the hot embers ready for me
Swallow some lava, and crash into rocks waiting for me
The stupid bitch needs to die one day, and she’ll burn
Roasted up, boil skinned, and into ashes he’ll turn
I’m going to Hell in a hand basket, I deserve shit
Send me to Hell on the day I die, I won’t fight it
“Go to hell, fucking freak” I’m on my way, babe
I’ll see you there, you asshole, you’ll feel my rape
“Go fuck yourself, go to hell, you deserve to go”
I’ll gladly go, and I’ll see you there. Don’t be slow
I know you’ve realized I’m the predator!
But you’re worse than a corrupt senator
So, I won’t be the fucking retard anymore
I said “hey” out of courtesy, now I’ll go
Nice to say Hello, and now I have shit to do
Get me to go away with a spit and a boo
I don’t give a shit, I’m a pretty busy person
Good life, and promise I’ll visit you in prison
However, it doesn’t even matter what I do
We’ll be together when we die. Burning Two
I’ll keep my dignity for life, and forget you
Because all you’re going to do is make me blue
You think I’m a faggot, little idiot, stupid bitch
You think I said nothing to make him stop
Fucker, I told him a thousand times to stop!
Mr. Ass, now I say goodbye, and turn my tires
I’ll see you in the demonic burning fires!
I know I’m going to hell when my blood can stop
On the day I die the Devil will give a small hop
I’m going to Hell in a hand basket, I’ll be fried
But don’t think things, Lord knows I really tried
I’m still going to Hell in a hand basket like Toto
Because I’m a motherfucking fake ass ho!
May the fires burn amazingly elaborate marks in me
I’ll laugh as the fires engulf everything that used to be
May I die with lots of clothes, because it’ll feed flames
In so much pain and so much fire I’ll play my games
I’m going to burn for eternity, and I can’t wait
I’m anticipating going to Hell in a hand basket
10
May God Forgive It
There was once a time and land
Where Man walked hand in hand
Where beasts and nature were friends
And God was setting all the trends
In truth and justice
God decided to leave the world to rest
He lay back to sleep and rejoice
As he trusted the world was set perfect
May God forgive himself for leaving
For when he awoke he saw what he had done
People crying and knives heaving
What had happened since he had gone?
He had left Man to his devices
To his own greed and his rage
All good had been banished to crevices
And doubt and fear take their place
May God forgive us for being such monsters
For that is what he made, he made beasts
He created a world full of fellow foreigners
Who together would collaborate in horrible feats
Without him people go about their business
Blinded by other humans and false brothers
But there are moments of clarity in happiness
They remember that they are truly monsters
If God were a man then may I hate him deeply
And if God were a woman I would call her stupid
For God seems to have abandoned us all so cruelly
I know that God is happy to see us wounded
May God forgive me for saying such things
May God become enraged and ask for an apology
He won’t get one. I won’t no longer care what he flings
May God do his worst to cause me more catastrophe
There was once a time and land in which I worshipped God
There was once a time and land that made any sense at all
There was then a time and land covered in sorrow and blood
And my trust in him was proved wrong and I met my fall
May God forgive me
May God forgive it all
May God forgive himself
May God forgive all these people
May God realize that he needs to act right away
Before my words are further proven right
11
The Mind Is A Jungle
It seems I’ve come to become clogged in mud
My only option is allowing my mind freedom
It seems I’ll try to explain these feelings in words
My only fear is that the paper will end at some point
Slowly through the mud I’ll let my pen write
Lose my senses in the dark; what do I have to lose?
My mind has come to question everything now
All of my senses feel like ruined stone megaliths
Everything I once held dear has left me here
Looking at the sun is almost hard to do anymore
To think that I once looked at the sun with joy
The mind is a jungle, but my mind is dying
The tress have lost their leaves
All the animals are going hungry
And the flowers are wilting
The mind is a jungle, and a grand structure
But I have felt the clash of ideas
I have felt the clash between nature and innovation
The plants are blossoming along a concrete wall
The bugs are getting caught in the exhaust vents
The ecosystem is deteriorating and I know death
The mind is a jungle, but my jungle suffers
The birds are all crashing into mountainsides
The monkeys are falling from the tall trees
The snakes are burrowing deep into the Earth
I can feel the pressure as they seek an escape
They’ll only find more dirt and more regrets
My mind is spiraling down into oblivion
I have nothing left in this dark existence
I used to have so much hope in my life
But all the hope is gone from all the strife
I can feel my heart as it’s falling to my feet
My tears are drowning me away from sanity
All I have left is a bit of sad darkness
I have not slept or smiled in so many days
I’ve gotten drunk and messy, but never laughed
I chugged at the vodka and the whiskey
But believe it or not all I did was sit still
All I did was sit and think
I’m never touching another drink
I’ve realized that it’s not the solution
But couldn’t I have been given a buzz?
A few moments of peace and happiness?
No, because I don’t deserve it
Yeah, I know
So all I have left is my hopeless fight
I have nothing to hold onto, no reason to live
Then why do I stay here taking up space?
The mind is a jungle, and my mind is dying
The fruits have all stopped growing
The ones left taste so bitter
My mind is a jungle and I’m giving up
I’m going to lay down and die right here
As the last bird drops from the clear sun
As the monkeys lay down to die with me
As the snakes all realize there’s no escape
As the trees slowly settle upon dry roots
As the predator in me is subdued
12
People Like
Once upon a time I was so ignorant
I was sure that life was rose scented
Darling, I’ve come to learn much
It’s been difficult, but there’s a lesson
I have come to learn that people leave
And friends can turn into strangers
I have learned all of this the hard way
People like to leave you when the dead are buried
People like to walk away when they’re most needed
People like to place blame on anybody but themselves
People like to pretend that they have never been bad
People like to victimize themselves like children
People like to be given praise for nothing
I remember when I was a child
Spending all evening blowing bubbles
The sun would shine during summer
And the rain would pour in winter
It was all natural and beautiful to me
What have I come to learn?
I have learned too much
Have I bitten more than I can chew?
Surely I have for I shouldn’t know
People like to walk away when the chips are down
People like to be the ones who are protected
People like to go through life without lifting a finger
People like to eat, but never be the ones to cook
People like to abandon somebody who loves them
People like to speak of love only if they are loved
People like to be entertained
People like to receive without giving
Won’t somebody tell them that’s not it
Will somebody let them know
They need to open their eyes soon
I remember when
I was young and naïve
So when I say I’m crying
Don’t act surprised
Do you remember when flowers were your friends?
Can you write about the chalk on the sidewalk?
And can you take me back?
To my life when I was never sad?
Can you help me to forget that people are evil
So that I may once again know mental peace
So that I may sleep without tossing and turning
13
How I Became Public Enemy No. 1
It’s not me. I blame everybody else, and stupidity
It’s almost like I’m going around spraying graffiti
You people are so ridiculous and unbelievable
I can hardly piece together how I seem so evil
I don’t know how I became Public Enemy No. One
I thought we were all really tight and really fun
Now I’m the crazy bitch with a million enemies
But nothing is worse than hypocritical frenemies
Suddenly I appear in the dictionary with “Freak”
Getting slapped so many times I have a red cheek
I had never meant to become the terrible monster
No matter what I do now; I am seen like a bomber
I suddenly became the number one public enemy
I might as well build my cave of mass weaponry
There’s a thousand myths being fabricated of me
Weak knees don’t let me defend the truth of me
All I can do is look at you; say I’m amazed and shocked
I can’t defend truth; I might as well have my lips locked
My shock, but it’s also an undying loyalty that must die
Because suddenly I realize everything was a beautiful lie
I don’t know how I became an enemy to the innocent public
But now everything I say is a dirty lie and I’m a fake trick
I don’t know how I became the public enemy number one
But now everything I say is seen sugared and cruelly spun
I only know that now I became public enemy number one
I thought I was a real bitch, but as trustworthy as a nun
How did I become public enemy number one of the empire?
I felt that people never thought me capable of a conspire
I can’t figure out how I became the highest form of traitor
Since when am I the most psychotic psychopathic murderer?
I’ll never know how I could have possibly become an enemy
Now to our friendship I’ll wave my gun and write an elegy
I don’t know how I became public enemy number one
All I know is that somehow it is right where I belong
I don’t know how we became enemies, I’m not smart
I’m dressed in black with a machine gun and we part
I have to go before I summon the strength to fight back
I don’t know how I became responsible for an attack
All I know is that I am the official Public Enemy No. 1
Now I’m shunned away
I can only walk away
Walk like an exile across the world towards a setting sun
14
Fuck!... They Did It Again
Words were so heated and hurtful
I was backstabbed it was so painful
Then I think of the dead
I get a sensation of dread
I fear they’ll do it again
I hold a vision of pain
It means nothing I won’t worry
Then I hear the scream of misery
Fuck!
… They did it again
They thinned their numbers
This suicide was accidental
My inner circle has vanished
Fuck!
Another friend gone
I’m truly done!
I’m tired of the misery here
I find my problem is this:
I have no more reasons to exist
I feel guilty for contributing hate
I did nothing to stop this accident
And through misery strikes death
I only cry and try to keep my breathe
But why do I live? Past all of this?
Maybe I should go into the bliss
Maybe join them in the skies
“I’ll see you in Hell” were my cries
Fuck!
…They it again
Another one is in the Other World
The one I’ll see in Hell
Nothing will keep me from Hell now
Fuck!
My soul is truly tainted
I began to hate him in his last days
And he hated me so much more!
German, you did nothing to stop the hanging!
I’m accusing you of encouraging him to do it!
I never told you I actually asked him not to
But I never got the chance to stop you
I said Are you done, rambling, fuckwad?
No, I’m not.
Go to Hell!!!
Gladly! I yelled, and ran out.
When I said “Gladly”, you probably smiled
Then I left, and that was my last word to you!
Fuck!
…They did it again
They killed to get into another world
They covered their hands in blood
In their own blood!
Fuck!
… This is perfect reason
To not even try to save my soul
Fuck! I’m surely going to hell
Fuck! I fought with him last!
Fuck! He killed himself as well
Fuck! This can’t be real
Somebody pinch me, I won’t feel
This can’t be true
I hated you
But you alienated me
I don’t say it to justify my immunity
But the dead don’t need me and you count now
You hated me
Told me to go to Hell
Well, boy, I’ll see you there!
15
Turn The Page
Hope I did well, but this enough
I’ve been ruined, and it’s time to get up
I’m tired of this sad story leading nowhere
It’s leading to a life of wear and tear
I think I’ve had enough to drink
Time to rewrite and time to think
Time to be a wise writer and say it’s done
This story is over. Time for this book to be gone
Be sure I’m only leaving to get to the top
And I won’t be going back to the old hop
So turn the page, get to the next chapter
Better yet flip it again and close the cover
Time to start a whole new book
I’ll even give myself a new look
Turn the page on this sad story of pain
I won’t be seen wanting to die ever again
They beat me down
Made me feel like a clown
My life is like the bible, but without God’s fear
This was the story of Noah, but without the beard
The storm came; the aftermath’s effects won’t last
Whoever left me to die is drowning in the past
The few who are on board with me are the shit
There is no going back; my past life was so shit
I’m betrayed by my friend
I’ve been sentenced to death
But nobody will kill and crucify me
Because you can’t nail me that easily
So turn the page a couple times, and close the cover
All the sad stories are hopefully over
And if the publisher tries to push more pain on me
I’ll get my angry bitch face on and be immune to tragedy
I have always known in my heart that I won’t live long
But I also know that I have to and I plan to stay strong
I don’t have much time to be sad, so, turn the page
I’m tired of being hopeless and resorting to pained rage
16
Light Up The Ruins
Hold a statue’s hand
Walking on dead land
I gaze out at what once was
It’s time to light up the ruins
There’s nothing left in this land for me
The empire has collapsed under brutality
I can’t believe I contemplated suicide
But I have no option but to survive
Sitting in the ruins of a temple
It used to be filled with people
I used to hold God so close to me
Now I don’t really think God to be
The Lover’s Lake is bone dry
And missing love I won’t cry
Love made me do stupidities
Love toyed with my heart strings
The bank went into foreclosure
All the people ran under pressure
The government was overturned
The dead bodies must be burned
The ruins of what used to be youth
Must be burned and I’ll bring new truth
This is the end, I have no friends
This is the end, I never followed trends
It’s time I gave my closing statements
This is the end of the embarrassments
The land has wept and came to fall
I saw the fall of every carefully carved wall
Inside my heart grows a dark sense of pain
The fear that I won’t be able to rise again
But all I have left is the next book in life
Everything here has felt the coldest knife
Am I strong enough to rise from the ashes?
Will I suffocate and die in the difficult process?
In the next book I will be what I will be
Being what people wished lead to catastrophe
Now I hold the match, I must strike a flame
The jig is up; an end has come to this cruel game
The ruins must be burned away and vanish
The memories of abandonment must tarnish
As the night comes I whisper my last prayer
I drop the match and the fire blows array
The fire spreads… The statues melt away
As I watch it fall away I have nothing to say
I have never felt so alone then now that it burns
Where once was life, I watch as the archive burns
This land has been raped and forgotten it burns now
How gracefully and quietly it takes its last bow
The ruins of my empire slowly burn
The moon and the sun slowly turn
How long will the fire last?
How long to forget the past?
I wonder what will happen when it’s all gone?
When the grass is ash and the buildings are done
When only me and a few others wander the land
I will be alone to build it all again by hand…
The fires are so beautiful and brilliant
Oh how they rise up so high
It looks as if there are buildings of fire
I see the vision to which I must aspire
I have to come to realize that I will live
And the empire will rise once more
I give myself no other options
Than to rebuild after I light up the ruins
Fin
Author Info
German Alcala:
From Los Angeles, California German Alcala is 14 years old, Mexican, Gay, and considers himself a novelist, poet, singer, dancer, carpenter, and everything in between! German Alcala's biggest inspirations include Edgar Allan Poe, Maya Angelou, and Jackie Collins. He has self-published eBooks across the web from Apple iBooks to Barnes and Noble NookBooks, has been called Awesome, Inspiring, and Amazing in book reviews.
Discover other titles by German Alcala at Smashwords.com:
The Witch’s Tits – http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32083
The Vampire’s Tits – http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/36304
The Demon’s Tits – http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/38448
Connect with Me Online:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/ConceitedPerson
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/GermanAlcalaSahagun