The One You Love
By Paul Pilkington
Copyright 2011 Paul Pilkington
(Revised Edition, December 2011)
Smashwords Edition
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Prologue
He watched from the boat as they sailed past the sights of London – the thrusting steel spires of Canary Warf, the domed O2 arena, then Tower Bridge, and finally the London Eye and Westminster. The sky was deep blue and the sun’s heat intense, so the cooling river breeze had been heaven.
After disembarking he headed for the tube. The day in the capital had been enjoyable. But now the holiday was over, and the real business was just beginning.
It was time.
Soon she would know just how bad it felt.
1
‘Em, it’s Will. Where the hell is that fiancé of yours? He didn’t turn up at the meeting place, and he’s not answering his phone.’
Emma Holden cupped her hand over her ear, but struggled to hear what her brother was saying over the chatter of the busy London pub. The Irish theme bar was heaving with twenty and thirty-somethings - mostly city workers celebrating the end of the working week and the beginning of a long Bank Holiday weekend. Emma however was celebrating something far more important – her imminent wedding, due to take place in just over two weeks’ time. This particular place wouldn’t usually have been her first choice for a night out - it was so busy that it was difficult even to turn on the spot – but it somehow seemed perfect for a Hen Night.
‘Hang on a minute,’ she shouted into the receiver, reaching around a group of people and handing her drink to her friend Lizzy. Lizzy nodded and smiled as Emma gestured that she was going outside. ‘I’m heading outside,’ Emma shouted again into the phone as she began to weave her way through the crowds, ‘can’t hear anything in here.’
After what seemed like a monumental effort she reached the door and exited into the night air, leaving the rest of her ten-strong hen party inside. The distinctive downtown London summer smell hit her: a mixture of fast food, beer and exhaust fumes. And for the first time that evening she felt the alcohol going to her head, somehow ushered on by the waning sunlight.
‘Sorry about that, Will,’ she said, stepping out onto the crowded pavement. ‘That was my fault - Lizzy persuaded the barman to turn the music up for the special occasion. Now it’s so loud my eardrums feel like they’re about to burst. I only noticed your call because I had my mobile out, showing Lizzy and the girls some photos from last week.’
‘Em,’ Will said, not engaging in the banter. His uncharacteristically serious tone made Emma check herself, as though he’d just issued her with an order. ‘Where’s Dan? He didn’t turn up in Covent Garden, and he’s not answering his mobile or your home phone.’
‘What?’
Emma absorbed the surprise revelation as she watched a garish white stretch limo cruise past. A group of laughing girls with their heads out of the window toasted passers by with glasses full of champagne.
‘Yee ha, cowgirl!’ one of the girls shouted at Emma from the limo window. Emma was confused for a second, before remembering what she was wearing. The Wild West outfits had been Lizzy’s idea. And dressing up was compulsory, especially for the bride-to-be.
‘We even came over to your flat,’ Will continued, as Emma took off her cowgirl hat and held it under her arm. ‘Thought he might be running late, but he’s not answering the intercom. We’re all stood outside there now, looking like right lemons. The bugger’s not gone out with you lot instead, has he?’
‘No,’ she said, twirling fingers nervously through her brown, glitter-sparkled hair. ‘Last I saw of him was when I left to go out, about two hours ago. You sure you didn’t miss him in Covent Garden?’
‘Positive. We stuck around there for over an hour. The police were going to move us on for loitering. All we needed was a tambourine and collection basket and we’d have made a fortune.’
‘I don’t understand,’ she said, pacing up and down outside the pub, suddenly forgetting the party going on inside. ‘He was about to go out when I left to come here. He wouldn’t have been more than a few minutes longer.’
‘It’s a bloody mystery then. You don’t suppose he got cold feet, decided to head off to LA with Cameron Diaz?’
‘Screw you, William.’
‘Just joking,’ he laughed, breaking the tension. ‘The man would be a fool to turn down the chance to marry my wonderful little sister.’
‘That’s better.’
‘Seriously though, Em. What if he’s had an accident or something?’
‘Accident?’
‘He could have been in a road accident.’
‘Aren’t you being a bit melodramatic?’
‘Probably,’ he said, ‘but those things can happen. Do you know how many road accidents there are in London every day?’
‘Do you have to be such a pessimist?’ she said, watching as two police officers attempted to cajole a homeless man from the shop doorway directly opposite. It was a sad but familiar London sight. ‘He’s probably stuck on a tube train – that’s why he can’t answer his phone. You know what the underground’s been like this week. I was stuck on the Northern Line for half an hour on Wednesday. Signal failure or something.’
‘Maybe,’ he replied. ‘I was thinking of breaking your door down though, just in case.’
‘Don’t you dare! Anyway, I’m the black belt, not you. You’d hurt yourself.’
‘Okay, Bruce Lee,’ he said, feigning disappointment. ‘I just want to look out for my little sister.’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘And you always have done.’
The police gave up on moving the homeless man, for now at least.
‘Hey, that’s why older brothers were invented. Tell you what, I’ll wait here and see if he turns up.’
‘No,’ Emma said, moving away from the pub door as what must have been another hen party pushed inside – this group was dressed as cheerleaders, with ultra tight tops and mini-skirts. At least Lizzy hadn’t gone for that idea. ‘Go back to Covent Garden,’ she said, ‘in case he turns up there. I’ll try and call him myself.’
‘The others can go back, but I’d rather stick around here,’ he insisted. ‘This is all pretty strange, Em. You don’t think…’
‘Don’t even say it,’ Emma interrupted. ‘Just don’t.’
‘You’re right, Em. This is totally different than last time.’
‘Hey, there you are,’ Lizzy said, throwing a semi-drunken arm around Emma as she returned to the group. ‘Wondered where you’d got to. Thought you might have sneaked off for a crafty last snog with some hunky stockbroker before it’s too late. After all, you’re still twenty-eight, free and single – for the moment.’
Emma didn’t meet Lizzy’s smile. Instead she looked down at the mobile phone that was still grasped tightly in her hand, hardly hearing what her best friend was saying. Although she’d been deliberately upbeat to Will’s pessimist, a few unsuccessful, attempted calls to Dan following the conversation with her brother had wiped out the party spirit in her. Part of her had thought that he would somehow answer the phone for her, despite Will’s failure to contact him. But now, faced with the same frustrating silence, all she wanted to do was get out of the place as quickly as possible and find out what was going on.
‘Get this down you,’ Lizzy ordered, forcing a Sea Breeze cocktail into her free hand. ‘You’re far too sober for my liking. I’m in charge tonight, and whatever I say goes. And I say drink! Cheers!’
‘Cheers,’ Emma said half-heartedly, clinking glasses.
Emma watched as a beaming Lizzy took a swig of her drink. She had met the ever-cheerful Lizzy, a strawberry blonde with a big heart and even bigger voice, at an audition three years' ago. A classically trained singer, she was currently plying her trade on the West End stage, where she had a part in a popular musical. Since that initial meeting they had become good friends and had flat shared for a time, until Emma moved in with Dan eighteen months ago.
‘You okay?’ Lizzy asked, finally noticing that Emma seemed distracted.
‘I’m not sure,’ Emma said, playing with the straw and ice cubes in her drink. ‘It’s Dan. He’s gone missing.’
‘What?’
‘That was Will on the phone. He said Dan didn’t turn up for the stag party. And now no one can get hold of him. I just tried to call him now. His mobile sounds like it’s turned off, and there’s no answer on the home phone.’
‘But wasn’t he about to leave when I arrived at yours? Lizzy said.
‘Yeah,’ Emma said. ‘That’s what worries me.’
‘Maybe he’s stuck on the tube?’ Lizzy offered, raising an eyebrow.
‘That’s what I thought. But it’s been two hours, Lizzy.’
‘I’m sure he’s fine,’ she offered, touching her side lightly.
‘You don’t think he’s had second thoughts, do you?’ Emma said, her hitherto buried insecurities finding a voice. ‘You know I said he’s been acting weird over the past few weeks. Maybe he’s decided that I’m not what he wants.’
‘Don’t be silly. Dan’s a great guy, and he’s crazy about you, Em.’ Lizzy squeezed her arm. ‘Anyone can see that. Men act weird now and again – it’s genetic. He’s probably just sat on a park bench somewhere, feeding the ducks and contemplating his final days of bachelorhood. Trust me, my brother was the same before his wedding – had some kind of pre-commitment crisis and thought about travelling around Australia for a year instead. And this is the guy who can’t stand insects or heat.’
‘I sound hysterical, don’t I?’ Emma smiled, taking a nervous sip from the drink. It wasn’t like her to get worked up – she was usually calm and controlled. But tonight was different. The thought had been weighing on her mind for months – whether this wedding fortnight was really the start of something much better or the testing point where everything fell apart at the seams.
Just like last time.
‘You’re under a lot of pressure,’ Lizzy said. ‘You’re getting married in two weeks for heaven’s sake. Plus you’ve got the biggest audition of your life coming up in two days’ time. Big things are happening girl.’
Lizzy was right. An upcoming wedding would be enough to unsettle anyone, but adding a potential career making movie role into the equation really cranked up the tension. Emma was desperate to get the part in the new British romantic comedy - it would be a major step up from the daytime soap she had spent three years on, and her recent appearances in a variety of London stage plays. It was the break she’d been working so hard for, and never dared to hope might one day arise.
‘I know it’ll turn out to be nothing,’ Emma said, trying to rationalise the situation, ‘but why disappear tonight of all nights?’
‘You want to go back to the flat, check if everything’s all right?’ Lizzy asked.
‘Would you mind?’
‘Not at all.’ Lizzy took the drink back and handed it to Sarah, another one of the hen party, who was sporting not just a cowgirl outfit but also a holster complete with plastic gun. ‘We can leave this lot here. We’ll catch up with them once we’ve found that man of yours. Bloody men, eh,’ she said, wrapping an arm around Emma’s shoulders and giving her a motherly hug, ‘always want to be the centre of attention.’
‘Yeah,’ Emma said, trying her best to smile, ‘bloody men.’
Emma tried Dan’s mobile another three times during the taxi ride. Each time the phone had gone straight through to the answer service. She’d also called Will, who confirmed that Dan still hadn’t appeared or answered the intercom. As the taxi twisted and turned through the bustling streets of the capital a sickening feeling of loneliness swelled inside her, refusing to go away, and sending her stomach into freefall.
‘Please, God,’ she whispered to herself, resting her forehead against the taxi window, trying to stop her mind from racing. ‘Please don’t let it happen again.’
2
‘Still nothing?’ Emma asked, as she climbed out of the taxi and approached Will.
Will was sat on the apartment steps with his arms folded, in designer trousers and a bright white shirt that clashed dramatically with his thick dark hair. He shook his head and unfurled his bottom lip. Although Will was only a few months short of thirty, he looked like a little boy who was waiting for mummy to come home.
‘I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, Em,’ Lizzy comforted, moving across to them as the taxi drove off.
Emma looked up at the top window of their rented apartment, which overlooked Marylebone High Street. For a second she thought she saw a figure looking back at her, but it was just a trick of the light. She’d calmed down a lot during the taxi ride - the circular breathing, taught to her by her karate instructor ten years ago, had helped her refocus away from those overly negative thoughts. Okay, it was weird, Dan not turning up like that, but the likeliest scenario was that there would be a perfectly reasonable explanation for his disappearance.
‘She’s right,’ Will agreed, getting up from the step and dusting himself down. ‘I was thinking about it while you were on your way over here. I’m overreacting, like I normally do. And if it wasn’t for that bloody intercom security system, I’d have been able to go up there and check for myself.’
‘Couldn’t you have just sneaked in when someone came out?’ Lizzy suggested.
‘That was the plan,’ he replied. ‘But no one’s come in or out since I got here. Bloody annoying. I also pressed all those buttons,’ he said, pointing at the intercom on the wall, ‘but nobody answered.’
‘It’s deserted in there at the moment,’ Emma explained, finally looking away from the window and back at Lizzy and Will. ‘A lot of people are on holiday I think. I’ve hardly seen anyone on the stairs in the last couple of days, and the post is building up.’
‘Someone’s in there though,’ Will countered. ‘You can hear music when you open the letterbox.’
‘Right,’ Emma said, looking up at the other windows along the front. There were no signs of movement in any of them. ‘We’d better get inside and take a look.’
She pulled out her keys from her handbag, but they slipped from her grasp and fell into the gutter, narrowly missing a drain.
‘That was lucky,’ Will commented, as he picked up the keys. He moved towards Emma and noticed that her hands were shaking. ‘Hey, are you okay?’
‘I’m fine,’ Emma lied, taking the keys. Although mentally she had recovered her composure, her body was still in overdrive. ‘I’m just a bit on edge, that’s all. I guess I’ve been thinking through different scenarios and it’s shaken me up.’
‘Come on,’ Lizzy said, ‘let’s get up there and sort this out. He’s probably flat out on the bed and has slept through the calls.’
They could hear the music as soon as they entered the apartment foyer. It seemed to be coming from one of the upper floors, travelling down the wooden staircase. And from the bass vibration across the ceiling it sounded like it was set on maximum.
‘Someone’s having a party,’ Will commented. ‘U2, if I’m not mistaken. Sounds like the band are actually up there rehearsing.’
‘Dan was playing that CD just before I left,’ Emma said, beginning to hurry up the stairs. Will and Lizzy followed close behind.
Emma took the steps two-by-two, and with each step the music swirling from above seemed to get louder. Something definitely didn’t feel right about this now. Her imaginings flooded back, but now it wasn’t about whether Dan had got cold feet – they were of something more sinister, more tragic. Maybe Dan had fallen and hit his head, and he’d been lying on the floor while she’d been out partying.
As Emma reached the middle floor, Mr Henderson, her elderly downstairs neighbour, blocked her path, stopping her dead. Judging by his reaction it seemed he had been waiting for her.
‘What do you think you’re playing at?’ he said, poking a wrinkled, liver-spotted finger in Emma’s direction.
‘Excuse me?’ she said, taken aback by his unusually aggressive tone. Normally he was so placid. Mr and Mrs Henderson had been living in the apartment for over twenty years, and had welcomed them with offers of help when Dan and Emma had first moved in. They were one of the only people in the apartment not to be renters, and seemed to revel in their role as the building’s surrogate grandparents. But although Mr Henderson still said hello when they passed on the stairs, Emma hadn’t seen much of his wife in recent months. Some time ago, while looking out of the window, she had seen her being helped into an ambulance. But she didn’t know what had been wrong and felt it would have seemed overly nosey to ask them.
‘That music,’ he said angrily, gesturing upstairs. His face was blood-red and his eyes burned like Emma had never seen before. ‘Your boyfriend’s had that on full blast ever since I got back from the shops. Edna’s trying to get to sleep in here; she’s not well you know. She gets distressed easily. She was crying when I got back home, sitting in the corner of the room, covering her ears. People think just because you’ve got dementia that you don’t matter. But she matters to me. I love her.’
Tears welled up in his eyes as his anger faded.
‘Doctor says she’s dying,’ he added. ‘Please let her rest,’ he begged, ‘please get your boyfriend to turn the music down. He won’t even answer the door for me. I’ve been up there three times, but it hasn’t done any good.’
Emma looked at Will and Lizzy, who returned anxious glances.
‘Sorry,’ Emma said, feeling desperately sorry but also wanting to get to the top floor without delay. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said again, side-stepping Mr Henderson and heading for the next set of stairs, almost launching at the first step.
‘I’ll call the police if you don’t turn it down,’ Mr Henderson shouted, before breaking out into a bronchial cough. But Emma had already turned the corner at the top of the stairs.
She reached the front door, fumbling with the keys to a rock soundtrack. The music was coming from inside their apartment, and it was extremely loud. Dan never played music that loud, and that thought only intensified Emma’s sense of foreboding for what lay inside.
‘Dan!’ she shouted. ‘Are you in there?’
She was really panicking now, feeling dizzy with nerves. The key wasn’t going into the lock, so she began banging on the heavy wooden door with her fists.
‘Dan!’
‘Come here, Em,’ Will said, taking the keys gently from her. ‘Let me do it.’
Emma stepped back, surprised to find that she was crying.
Lizzy hugged her and said everything was going to be all right, but she didn’t sound convinced anymore.
Will unlocked the door and a crescendo of guitars and drums swept out onto the landing. He betrayed his own sense of urgency by leaving the key in the lock.
‘Danny, you in here?’ he shouted, moving into the apartment. He turned left towards the lounge, from where the music was coming from, while Emma and Lizzy headed for the kitchen.
‘Dan,’ Emma said, as she neared the kitchen. ‘Where are…oh my God.’
‘What is it?’ Will shouted.
‘Something’s wrong,’ Lizzy replied, as Emma stood in stunned silence, taking in the scene. Her worst fears were realised. Blood rushed to her head, sending her reeling, and she placed a steadying hand against the fridge freezer.
The kitchen was smashed up – broken plates and dishes littered the floor, the bin had been overturned and emptied, the blinds were half torn down, and the water was running in the sink.
‘My God,’ Will said, appearing breathless at their shoulders, as he surveyed the damage.
‘What the hell’s happened?’ Lizzy asked, to no one in particular.
‘The other rooms,’ Emma said, pulling herself out of her shock.
She turned and headed for the bedroom, flinging open the door, expecting to find something horrible inside. But there was nothing. The bed was immaculately made, just like she had left it. Everything was in its right place. A faint hint of Dan’s favourite aftershave hung in the air. Emma turned to head for the bathroom, the last remaining room of the apartment.
‘Oh, shit!’ she heard Will shout from behind her. ‘Shit! Call an ambulance! Somebody get an ambulance!’
‘What’s wrong?’ Emma said as she rushed out into the hallway. Will appeared from the bathroom, his hands caked in blood. ‘Oh no,’ she said, covering her mouth and shaking her head. She backed against the wall. ‘Please say he’s okay.’
‘It’s not Dan,’ Will said, his face pained as he held blood-soaked hands out in front of him. ‘It’s Richard. I think he’s dead.’
3
‘Do you think Dan did that to Richard?’ Emma asked, as the three of them sat in the hospital waiting area.
Ever since they had found Dan’s brother Richard unconscious on the bathroom floor, with what was undoubtedly a life-threatening head injury, Emma had been desperate to ask that question. But she was afraid of what her brother and best friend might say. Lizzy hadn’t said anything, either in the apartment waiting for the paramedics to arrive, or in the taxi on the way to the hospital. But although Will also hadn’t commented, Emma knew her brother well enough to sense something deeper was troubling him about the situation.
‘No, no, of course not,’ Lizzy said, snapping out of her daydream. ‘Dan couldn’t have done something like that.’
Will sat with his head resting in his hands, staring blankly into space.
‘Will,’ Emma said, noting his silence, ‘you don’t think he did it?’
‘I don’t know what to think,’ Will admitted, rubbing his eyes.
‘Dan would never hurt Richard,’ Emma said, turning on Will. ‘Dan said they’ve never fought in their lives. They couldn’t be closer.’
‘Could you try and keep the noise down please,’ a passing nurse said. ‘We’ve got patients who are trying to sleep.’
Emma apologised, feeling suitably chastised.
‘I’m sorry, Em,’ Will said, as the nurse moved on with her business. ‘But it doesn’t look good, that’s all.’
As much as Emma hated to admit it, Will was right - it didn’t look good. The paramedics made it pretty clear to the arriving police that they felt Richard had been attacked, rather than just falling and hitting his head. The injuries indicated that someone had used a blunt instrument, and had smashed it into his head more than once. It was no accident. And Dan had now disappeared. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. It was little wonder that most of the police questioning at the scene had centred on Dan’s likely whereabouts and the relationship between him and his brother.
‘He couldn’t have done it,’ Emma dismissed, refusing to believe that the man she had fallen in love with would be capable of carrying out such a violent attack. ‘I can’t believe you’d ever think he could.’
‘I hope you’re right,’ Will said, ‘I really do.’
‘I am right,’ Emma stated. ‘I believe in him.’
A tense silence descended for a few seconds.
‘Do you think the police will want to talk to us again?’ Lizzy asked.
‘They’ll definitely want to talk to us in more detail,’ Will said. ‘Those were just preliminary questions before,’ he explained.‘But we’re talking about possible attempted murder here, or even murder, so they’ll want to know more.’
‘I really thought he was dead back there,’ Lizzy reflected. ‘When you couldn’t find a pulse, and there was all that blood, I thought that was it.’
‘So did I,’ Will admitted. ‘I can’t get those images out of my head – of Richard lying there against the bath. His head was twisted. I thought he’d broken his neck. You never expect to experience something like that. Thank God the paramedics got there quickly.’
‘You saved his life,’ Emma said, ‘doing the first aid work on him.’
‘I’m not sure I did anything really,’ Will deflected, ‘but at least he’s got a chance now.’
‘Sorry I shouted at you just. None of us are thinking straight.’
‘Don’t worry about it, Em,’ Will said, ‘I probably deserved it. Look,’ he said, getting to his feet and exhaling. ‘I’m going to nip outside, call the others and let them know that the celebrations are on hold. They’ll be wondering where we’ve got to.’
‘What are you going to say?’ Emma asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Will admitted. ‘That there’s been an accident?’
‘Just don’t tell them where we are,’ Emma urged. ‘I don’t think the hospital would appreciate twenty drunkards descending on the ward. And anyway, I can’t take all the attention, not yet. Not until there’s been time to let this all sink in.’
‘Understood,’ Will replied. ‘I’ll be suitably vague.’
Emma nodded her thanks.
‘I won’t be long,’ he said, ‘hopefully you’ll have had some good news by the time I get back.’
‘I hope so,’ Emma replied.
***
‘Will’s been gone a while,’ Emma commented, watching a team of medics wheel past an elderly man with an oxygen mask held over his face. The man seemed to look right at her, as if trying to communicate something with his watery eyes. It took Emma back to a time she had tried to forget.
‘Twenty minutes,’ Lizzy confirmed. ‘Maybe he’s having trouble getting in touch with the others.’
‘Maybe. You know, Lizzy,’ Emma said, as the man on the trolley disappeared around the corner, ‘I really hate these places. It just brings back all the bad memories.’
‘Of what happened to your mum?’ Lizzy asked.
Emma nodded.
‘This was the hospital where she died, of the breast cancer. I came here every day for four weeks, watching her change from being the most energetic person I ever knew into an empty shell. When she died, I said I’d never come back here. I guess I thought it would be too painful, returning to the scene.’
‘It’s always painful being reminded that someone you love is gone,’ Lizzy said, ‘no matter how long after the event.’
‘It’s her birthday tomorrow,’ Emma revealed, smiling painfully at the thought. ‘She would have been fifty.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Em.’ Lizzy reached over and put an arm on Emma’s back. ‘No wonder this is all bringing back bad memories. If there’s anything I can do – tomorrow that is – let me know. You need to be with people at a time like this.’
‘Thanks,’ Emma replied. ‘Back when mum was dying Dan was a massive help. Especially with what happened with Dad. When Dad sunk into a depression and didn’t want to know, Dan stuck by me. It helped me realise just how special he was. He carried me through it all. But now he’s gone.’
‘He’ll be back.’
‘I’m really scared, Lizzy,’ Emma said, lowering her voice. ‘What if Dan and Richard did have a fight, and Richard fell and hit his head? What if Dan killed Richard by mistake? I mean, I don’t even know what Richard was doing there – he said he couldn’t make the stag party because he was away on business.’
‘Emma,’ Lizzy said, reaching across to comfort her. ‘We don’t know that Richard is dead. We’ve got to hope for the best. And you’ve got to believe that Dan couldn’t have done this. You said it yourself.’
‘But if he didn’t do it, then where is he?’
‘I don’t know,’ Lizzy admitted.
‘Emma.’
Emma looked up, to be met by a fresh-faced man, dressed in a blue shirt, tie and smart trousers. He didn’t look much older than her. The stethoscope around his neck told her that he was a doctor.
‘Yes, that’s me.’
‘Dr Hennessey,’ he said, holding out his hand, ‘I’m the registrar looking after Richard.’
Emma took his hand with her heartbeat quickening in anticipation. ‘Is Richard okay?’
He maintained his poker face.
‘I think it’s better if we talk in the room next door.’
‘There is good news and bad,’ the registrar began as they sat down in the private room. He perched on the very edge of his chair, leaning forward and glancing at the door every few seconds as if he was readying himself for having to leave at a moment’s notice. Emma scrutinised the doctor for clues as to just how bad the bad news was going to be, but his expression gave away nothing. For that instant she thought about how not all acting was done on the stage or in front of the camera.
Emma and Lizzy waited for a painful moment while Dr Hennessey gathered his thoughts, steepling his fingers with the point touching his top lip. The air in the room was stiflingly hot and stale; warm enough to make it feel like the orange plastic chairs on which they were sitting were melting.
‘The good news is that Richard is alive,’ he announced, without a hint of celebration. ‘It was touch and go for a time, but the team worked very hard and fortunately Richard also did his fair share of fighting, which always helps.’
‘And the bad news?’ Emma prompted, not really wanting to know the answer to her question but desperate to find out everything and get it over with. She watched the doctor ready himself. For a time she had toyed with the idea of studying medicine – her grades had been good enough and she liked the idea of helping people – but here, empathising with the doctor’s task of breaking bad news, it didn’t seem like such a great job anymore.
‘I’m afraid the bad news is that Richard has slipped into a coma.’
‘Right.’ Emma wasn’t surprised by the revelation. Although she had hoped it wouldn’t be that serious, the extent of Richard’s injury and the fact that he had remained unconscious throughout the journey to hospital, pointed to possible coma. But at least he was still alive.
‘The MRI scan showed that Richard has suffered a subdural haematoma – a bleed between the surface of the skull and the brain,’ the doctor explained. ‘The pressure that this puts the brain under can lead to coma.’
‘But he is going to be all right?’ Lizzy asked, her voice anguished. ‘He’ll come out of it?’
‘We’ll just have to watch and wait,’ he stated. ‘I’m afraid it’s impossible to predict what’s going to happen with any certainty. But it’s worth saying that a large proportion of patients recover well from coma.’
‘But some never do,’ Emma said.
‘Some never do recover, that’s true,’ he admitted. ‘But a lot do. I know it’s difficult, but you must try and be as positive as possible. The first few weeks are crucial really. I hear that Richard has no immediate family, apart from his brother?’
Emma nodded. ‘His parents died when he was young.’
‘Well it’s good that he’s got friends to be by his side,’ he said. ‘There is plenty of research that shows patients in coma respond to external stimuli: familiar voices, smells. You could help greatly in his recovery – like I said, just try and stay positive, even if you don’t feel like it.’
‘We’ll be there for him,’ Emma said.
‘’Course we will,’ Lizzy affirmed.
***
Will watched from the hospital car park as an ambulance swung into the drop-off area. The back opened and a young girl, limping on her left leg, was helped through the main entrance by two paramedics - yet another human being with their life in the hands of strangers. He took a last, long drag on the cigarette before stamping it out. He hadn’t had a cigarette in over a year, but he had needed one tonight. Looking up at the clear night sky, he tried to pick out a star. But the lights leaking from the city obscured the celestial view.
He thought back to the item he had found next to Richard’s body.
What the hell am I going to tell her?
Pulling out his mobile, he punched in the number and took a steadying breath, feeling light-headed and nauseous.
The phone was answered on the second ring.
‘Hi, it’s me, Will,’ he said, leaning back against the wall for support. ‘Something terrible has happened. And I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do about it.’
4
He had watched from the car across the road, sunk down into his seat for camouflage, as the ambulance arrived. It was traumatic, seeing Emma in such a state without being able to do anything about it. All he had wanted to do was run over there and wrap his arms around her, pull her close and tell her everything was going to be okay. She looked so vulnerable, tears flowing down her cheeks, and knowing that he couldn’t protect her from the pain made him feel sick inside. He was the one who should be comforting her, not that backstabbing brother of hers. But he knew that now wasn’t the right time. Things had to be planned carefully – it couldn’t be rushed.
He moved into the kitchen, taking the small knife from the block, and then headed for the bathroom, stepping over piles of old newspapers and stray pizza boxes. He needed a release from the pain.
He peeled back his shirtsleeve, right up to the shoulder, and stood in front of the mirror.
How had it come to this?
As he tensed his arm in readiness for the cut he thought back to all he had seen.
‘Don’t worry, Em,’ he said to his own reflection, the blade of the knife glistening under the bathroom light, ‘everything is going to be okay.’
***
‘Will, where’ve you been?’ Emma said, as Will appeared from around the corner. He looked even more exhausted than before he left.
‘I went for a walk,’ Will said, slumping into the seat with a thud. ‘I didn’t plan to, but I just ended up walking off down the road. Before I knew it, I was up near Euston station. You know, I never really realised just how many really strange people there are around the streets of London – maybe I’m just on edge, but it didn’t feel safe out there. If it wasn’t a homeless guy it was a potential drug dealer or gangster. Then on the way back I nearly walked under a bus - think I was in some kind of trance.’
‘You do look pretty rough,’ Lizzy commented.
‘Thanks,’ he said, deadpan, staring at the ceiling. ‘I feel worse.’
‘Have you been smoking?’ Emma asked, sniffing the air.
Will put his hands up in the air. ‘Busted. I only had the one though – I succumbed to temptation but then threw the rest of the packet in the bin. Promise,’ he added doing a mock Cub Scout salute of honour.
‘You got hold of the others okay?’ Emma said, letting the cigarette issue drop. Will didn’t have to justify anything to her, and the dangers of smoking were the least of their worries at the moment.
‘Yeah,’ he replied, looking up at the ceiling tiles. ‘It took me a while to get any sense out of them – both groups are pretty drunk. They thought it was all a big wind up at first. Sorry, Em, but I ended up having to tell them the truth. Well, what we know anyway.’
‘That’s okay,’ Emma replied. ‘They had to find out sometime.’
‘It certainly burst their balloon. They wanted to come to the hospital, but I told them there’s enough drunks here already in A&E. Now everyone’s going home.’
‘You did the best thing,’ Emma said. ‘We can keep them up-to-date with what’s happening from here.’
‘No news about Richard then?’ Will rubbed his eyes like he was trying to scoop out his eyeballs.
‘There is,’ Emma replied. ‘The doctor came along before. He’s alive, but he’s in a coma.’
‘Shit,’ Will said, shaking his head. ‘Is he going to be okay?’
‘They said they’re still doing tests and won’t know how bad it is for a while yet. He said something about a bleed on the brain.’
‘Bloody hell,’ he said. ‘You know, even though it didn’t look good, I thought he was going to be all right. I thought we might have done enough.’
‘We might have done,’ Lizzy said. ‘The doctor said there was every chance.’
‘I hope so,’ Will said, ‘I really do. I assume you haven’t heard from Dan yet?’
Emma shook her head.
‘Come here sis,’ he said, putting an arm around her and pulling her close. ‘No matter what happens, we’ll be here for you.’
‘Like last time,’ Emma muttered.
‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘like last time.’
***
‘Emma, wake up,’ Lizzy said. ‘Richard’s back.’
Emma opened her eyes and it took a few seconds for reality to break through. She glanced around, first at Lizzy, then at the hospital reception desk opposite, where a couple of nurses were filling out forms. Realising where she was, and why, was a terrible feeling.
‘What time is it?’ she said, kneading at her stiff neck.
‘Nearly one o’clock in the morning,’ Will said, flattening strands of hair down at the back of his head – a sure sign that he too had been unable to stay awake.
‘By now we should officially be completely plastered in one of London’s tackiest nightclubs, dancing to Kylie,’ Lizzy said. ‘I had it all planned.’
‘Funny how things don’t turn out how you expected,’ Will noted. ‘Who would have thought we’d be sitting in a hospital tonight?’
‘Where’s Richard?’ Emma said.
‘A nurse just came by,’ Lizzy replied. ‘She said we can go in and see him. They’ve put him into the private room over there,’ she added, pointing to the room in the corner.
‘Did they say how he is?’ Emma asked, standing up and trying to look through the windows that ran around the room.
‘She didn’t say anything,’ Lizzy replied.
But the nurse didn’t have to say anything. Just one look at Richard lying in bed, hooked up to a ventilator that controlled his breathing with its constant artificial inhales and exhales, told its own story.
In many ways he looked more ill now than he had done back at the apartment. His head was bandaged, hiding the injury, and his face was ashen.
‘Can he hear things?’ Emma asked the nurse, keeping her eyes trained on Richard. As she approached the bed she half expected his closed eyes to snap open like they would do in a horror movie.
But of course they didn’t.
‘We don’t know really,’ the nurse admitted. ‘But people who have come out of coma do say that they remember things from when they were unconscious, so it’s always better assuming that they can hear everything you say. We also recommend that you try not to talk about the person indirectly whilst you’re in the same room as them.’
‘Sorry,’ Emma said, ‘I didn’t realise.’
‘It’s okay,’ the nurse said. ‘You’ll find it strange at first, but you’ll get used to it.’
‘How long have we got with him?’
‘You can have a few minutes, but then I’m afraid the doctor will need to come back in. Sorry.’
‘That’s okay,’ Emma said, stepping up close to the bed and grasping the handrail. Lizzy paused just behind her, while Will stood at the head of the bed, his face set on solemn. ‘It’s just good to see him.’
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ the nurse replied, as she left the room.
‘Thanks,’ Emma said, not looking back at the nurse, and instead keeping her gaze on Richard. ‘Hi, Richard,’ she said. Despite talking to someone who was unconscious, she didn’t feel at all self-conscious. It was as if Richard was awake and alert, listening to every word, making eye contact. ‘It’s good to see you. We thought you might be…’
Suddenly, unexpectedly, she broke down.
‘It’s okay, Emma,’ Lizzy said from behind, but her voice was cracking with emotion too and she had tears in her eyes.
‘Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,’ Will said, still keeping his distance at the base of the bed, like Richard was infectious. ‘Maybe we should come back tomorrow. It’s been a tough day for all of us.’
Emma turned to look at Will and held his gaze. He was right. There was too much going on in her head, too many thoughts swimming around up there.
What happened to Richard?
Where is Dan?
Did Dan…
‘You’re right,’ Emma agreed, ‘we’ll go.’ She turned back to Richard. ‘We’ll see you first thing tomorrow,’ she promised. She placed a hand on his cheek and held it there for a few seconds. His skin was worryingly cold.
Richard was going to be Dan’s best man.
What the hell had gone so wrong?
‘Thanks for letting us see him,’ Emma said, as they walked past the nursing station.
‘That’s okay,’ the nurse said, looking up from the desk. ‘It was the least you deserved after waiting there for so long. Let’s just hope that Richard shows some battling spirit and pulls through this,’ she smiled.
‘I hope so,’ Emma said, pausing to chat.
The nurse smiled kindly. ‘It’s not as bad as you think. I’ve been working here for nearly twenty years and I’ve lost count of the number of people who weren’t really given a chance, but then recovered against all the odds. I always used to wonder why people who had the worst injuries recover, while some who don’t seem as badly hurt don’t make it. And do you know what I realised?’
‘What?’
‘That love can make the difference between life and death. I know it sounds sentimental, but I know. I’ve seen how powerful love can be. And that’s why having you there is so important for Richard. It’s just a shame that his brother couldn’t be here too.’
Emma kept quiet, wondering whether the police had told the nursing staff about the circumstances surrounding Richard’s condition, and Dan’s possible role in it.
‘He called about five minutes ago,’ the nurse continued, ‘to ask how Richard was. Must be hard for him being so far away from home at a time like this.’
‘Far away?’ Emma queried, confused as to what she was talking about.
‘He’s out of the country on business isn’t he?’
‘Are you sure it was Dan who called?’ Emma said, trying to get her head around what she'd just been told.
‘That’s what he said,’ she replied.
‘Well…did he say anything else? Did he pass on any messages to us?’ Emma asked, her head buzzing with possibilities.
‘He just told me to tell you that he was sorry,’ she said. ‘He was sorry that he couldn’t be there with you all.’
5
‘Thanks, Lizzy,’ Emma said, as her friend handed her a cup of tea. ‘It’s really nice of you letting me stay here. I just can’t face going back to the apartment. Not yet.’
‘It’s no problem, really,’ Lizzy replied, sitting down on the sofa next to Emma. ‘It’s nice having you back here. Pity it’s under these circumstances though.’
‘I know,’ Emma said, staring into the tea and letting the steam drift up onto her face.
It was Sunday morning, more than twenty-four hours since they had found Richard nearly dead in the apartment. They had returned to the hospital on Saturday as promised and Emma had stayed there for most of the day, watching Richard. They had also spoken with the doctors - the results of the tests were back. Richard was suffering from a cerebral contusion; a bruise on the brain. And although they still couldn’t say whether he was going to be okay, the fact that they hadn’t detected a bleed on the brain was really positive news.
‘Sleep any better?’ Lizzy asked.
‘Not really,’ Emma admitted. ‘I must have woken up over twenty times – I probably slept for about three hours or so in total. Every time I woke up I just kept replaying seeing Richard in the flat and the hospital. In the end I came in the lounge and watched some telly.’
‘Didn’t hear you,’ Lizzy said, ‘you should have woken me. I’d have kept you company.’
‘Thanks, but I’ve inconvenienced you enough without ruining your sleep as well.’
‘Nonsense,’ Lizzy replied. ‘Next time, wake me up. I’ll expect you to make the hot chocolate though.’
They smiled at each other, the kind of smile that only happened at times of anxiety.
‘Emma,’ Lizzy said, tucking her legs under her body, ‘what do you think really happened?’
‘I really don’t know. But I still can’t believe that Dan would hurt Richard. Like I said, they’ve always been more like best friends than brothers. I just can’t imagine any way they’d fight.’
An uncomfortable silence settled between them.
‘I’ve been thinking about what the nurse said,’ Lizzy mused. ‘About Dan calling the hospital to see how Richard was. Why doesn’t he just get in touch with us if he really is innocent? I don’t mean that I think he did do it,’ she added quickly, ‘but it just doesn’t make sense.’
‘Maybe he’s afraid of what we might be thinking,’ Emma offered, not admitting that she had thought the very same thing non-stop since the revelation that Dan had called the hospital. Until then, the thought that Dan too was hurt somewhere had been at the forefront of her mind, but the phone call from him appeared to quash that possibility.
‘Or maybe he’s hiding from the person who really did that to Richard?’
‘I’ve thought that too,’ Emma said. ‘Maybe they’d got into some kind of trouble – I don’t know, gambling or something and someone came looking for them.’
‘Dan was a gambler?’
‘No, but maybe Richard was. Oh, I don’t know, I still can’t believe that this is happening.’
Emma shook her head in exasperation.
‘Emma, just tell me to piss off for being so insensitive, but I was wondering what you’re planning to do about the second reading tomorrow.’
‘I can’t go. Not while Dan’s still missing and Richard is in hospital. I just couldn’t do it; it would be so selfish.’
‘I understand,’ Lizzy said, taking a sip from her tea.
‘You think I should go to it?’ Emma said, reading her friend’s face.
‘I think it’s a fantastic opportunity,’ Lizzy admitted, ‘after all these years of hard work, it’s what you’ve always wanted – always dreamt of. Having Guy Roberts, the famous casting director, call out of the blue and ask you to come for an audition for a potential blockbusting movie. And to think that someone actually recommended you to Guy for the part – it’s amazing really. It’s a real shame to turn your back on something that could change your life.’
‘But…’
‘But,’ Lizzy continued, ‘I think that you’re doing the right thing.’
‘Thanks, Lizzy,’ Emma smiled gratefully, ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
***
Will woke up with one hell of a hangover, courtesy of a bottle of Jack Daniels. He’d spent the evening drinking in front of the TV and had fallen asleep fully clothed on the sofa. And although he’d woken up several times since, he didn’t have the balance, energy or inclination to make his way to the bedroom. He struggled to his feet and staggered towards the curtains. A short, sharp shock was required. The blast of early morning sunlight set off what felt like a nuclear bomb in his head. Turning back towards the living room, grimacing at the sour taste in his mouth, his eyes focussed on the photograph lying on the coffee table.
Why had he not told her about it when he had the chance?
He’d somehow managed to regain his composure in the hospital, hiding his torment, joking even with Emma and Lizzy. And the phone call from Dan seemed to indicate that maybe it wasn’t what he feared.
But who was to say that the person calling really was Dan?
He moved over and picked up the photo.
‘If you had anything to do with this, I swear I’ll fucking kill you,’ he said, his eyes burning at the man in the shot.
He showered, dressed and headed outside into the sunshine, needing to escape the stale smell of alcohol that seemed to have soaked into every part of the flat. He decided to head towards Regent’s Park - maybe amongst the crowds of picnickers and sunbathers he could try and forget about the mess he had got himself into, if only for a couple of hours.
***
‘What did he say?’ Lizzy said, as Emma replaced the handset. ‘Was he okay about it?’
‘Surprisingly nice,’ Emma replied, not quite believing what the casting director Guy Roberts had just said to her. ‘He said he understood why I’d decided not to go, but he was really disappointed as I’d been the standout candidate from the first reading. He also said that I had real talent.’
‘Wow, Emma, that’s great,’ Lizzy enthused. ‘And you said there were loads of people going for the part.’
‘You don’t think he just says that to everyone, do you, just to humour them?’
‘No way,’ she dismissed. ‘Why would he? People like him have got enough wannabe actors bothering them without encouraging people who aren’t good enough. So he wouldn’t have said that unless he meant it. That’s really great news. I’m so proud of you!’
Lizzy embraced Emma in a congratulatory hug.
‘Thanks,’ Emma said, ‘but it’s not really important now, is it?’
‘I guess not,’ she conceded, pulling away, ‘not right now anyway. But everything will work itself out, Em, I’m sure of it. Then maybe you can contact this guy, see what else he’s working on. If he likes you that much, he’ll be interested in seeing you again for another part.’
‘Maybe.’
‘Let’s get out of here,’ Lizzy announced, trying hard to sound cheerful. ‘You need to take a walk, have some time away from that hospital. We’ll go and get a coffee or something.’
‘Okay,’ Emma said, ‘that’ll be nice.’
Just then her mobile rang.
She spun around, looking for the phone, and saw it on top of the breakfast table. As she dashed over to get it her heart leapt when she saw the Caller ID.
It was Dan.
‘It’s him,’ she shouted at Lizzy in a panic whilst she grabbed the phone. ‘It’s Dan.’
‘Dan, where are you, are you okay?’ she spluttered, before she had even given him a chance to say a word.
She forced herself to stop talking and listen, but was met with silence.
‘Dan, are you there?’
Again there was nothing.
‘Dan?’
Then the line went dead.
Emma looked across at Lizzy, but before she had chance to say anything the phone rang again.
‘Dan?’ she said.
‘Hi, is that Emma Holden?’ a deep male voice asked.
‘Yes, yes,’ she replied, taken aback by the fact that it wasn’t Dan on the other end of the line.
‘Detective Inspector Mark Gasnier here. I’m part of the team investigating the serious assault on Richard Carlton. I was hoping to speak with you today…’
‘Sure,’ she said, meeting Lizzy’s interested gaze.
‘This morning okay?’
‘That’s fine,’ she said, ‘do you want me to come down to a police station?’
‘That won’t be necessary,’ he said, ‘we’ll come over to you.’
***
He stood on the opposite side of the street, looking up at the window to the flat. It had been risky to call, especially while he had been standing only metres away, but he just had to hear her voice, if only for a few seconds.
He could sense the anxiety, the desperation.
It was all worth it.
A double-decker rumbled past and briefly obscured the view, its sides plastered with an advertisement for the latest West End musical. He took one last look at the flat before heading for the tube, making his way towards the hospital.
6
Will sat down on the grass, closing his eyes and letting the warmth from the powerful sun bathe his face. A gentle breeze wafted his shirt and amongst the shouts and laughter of fellow visitors he could hear birdsong - in any normal situation this would feel like heaven. He had been wandering around a bustling, vibrant Regent’s Park for more than an hour, already completing a couple of circuits. He knew what had brought him here - this place harked back to happier times. It was the place his parents used to take him to, when he and Emma were children – he’d seen the photos, with the four of them sprawled out on a picnic blanket, surrounded by treats.
Even Dad had looked happy in those days.
He lay there for a few minutes, watching the brightness of the underside of his eyelids. But he couldn’t just shut out the world and its problems – especially when the problem was internal. He opened his eyes and scanned around the park. The sun had really brought out the crowds – especially the families. It was a huge playground, with kids running around, playing football and chase. He focussed on a small boy who was trying to launch a kite – but there really wasn’t enough wind, and it kept crashing to the ground and bouncing along the floor. As he watched the boy pick up the kite to try again, that’s when he saw him, sat on the grass, looking in his direction. The hairs on the back of Will’s neck bristled, and his pulse quickened.
‘It can’t be,’ he mouthed.
His stared across at the figure, who still seemed to be staring back. But it was just too far away to make out the man’s face, and the sun distorted the view somewhat. His first reaction was to turn and run, or at the very least pretend he hadn’t noticed the attention. But then he was overcome by anger. Anger of what had happened to Richard, and to Emma.
He stood up and began striding over, dodging kids as they weaved through his path. His heart rate picked up rapidly.
By the time he reached the man, the guy had his back to him, sitting on the grass, leaning on his hands.
‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ Will demanded. ‘Are you following me?’
And then the man turned.
‘Excuse me?’ the man said, puzzled, shielding his eyes against the sun. ‘Do I know you?’
It wasn’t him.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Will said, holding up his hands and stepping back a couple of paces. ‘I thought you were a friend,’ he said, trying to explain.
‘Right…’ the man said, warily. ‘That’s fine. Don’t worry about it.’
‘Sorry,’ Will said again, turning and pacing off in the opposite direction.
‘What the hell am I doing?’ he muttered to himself as he walked away, his face flushed with embarrassment.
He only stopped walking once he had put enough distance between himself and the man – there was no way he wanted to run into him again. He leant against a wall and put a hand to his head.
Why did this have to happen?
He thought back to how the man had looked at him. Like he was some kind of maniac, ready to pull out a knife and attack him.
My God, he was really cracking up.
Then his thoughts turned to Emma and not for the first time he felt intense, painful shame. She thought he was the perfect brother, the one who had supported her through everything. And he had revelled in playing that part.
‘You’re a fucking impostor,’ he shouted, just as a family with two young toddlers walked around the corner. The father shot him a reprimanding glance.
‘Come on kids,’ he said, shepherding them away from Will. ‘Let’s go over to the zoo.’
‘Yes, daddy!’ the little girl shouted excitedly, tugging at her father’s shirtsleeve. ‘Can we see the monkeys?’
‘Sure we can,’ he said, ruffling her hair.
‘Yes!’ she said, jumping up and down on the spot. ‘I love monkeys!’
Will watched them as they walked away, the two children leading from the front, unable to curb their enthusiasm. The man and woman held hands just behind. Faced with a scene of such love, Will felt lonelier than he had ever felt in his entire life.
But worst of all, he realised with disgust that he was beginning to empathise with the man who had caused all these problems.
‘Please,’ he said, looking up into the deep blue sky, ‘don’t let me become like him.’
***
‘Emma?’ the man at the door said.
Emma nodded.
‘Detective Inspector Mark Gasnier,’ he continued, holding out a hand and flashing a surprisingly white, movie star smile.
‘Hi,’ Emma said, taking his hand and meeting his firm but fair grip. The guy certainly wasn’t what she had expected. He was a towering figure; his hair was gypsy black and his skin summer tan. She’d expected someone scruffy, hangdog even, but this guy was wearing a designer suit.
‘This is Detective Sergeant Christian Davies,’ Gasnier added, nodding towards his companion.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ Davies said, also shaking hands. Davies was at least a foot smaller than his partner, and they looked like quite an odd pairing.
Emma smiled and waited.
‘So can we come in?’ Gasnier said, again smiling. This time it seemed more businesslike than friendly.
‘Oh, sure, yes, come on in,’ Emma said, forgetting herself.
She led them into the lounge, where Lizzy was waiting nervously on the sofa.
‘Hi,’ Lizzy said, getting up to welcome them. ‘Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee?’
‘It’s okay,’ Gasnier replied, sitting down without invitation. ‘We’ve just had one, back at the station. And we won’t be here for long, you’ll be glad to hear.’
Lizzy smiled nervously. She’d never been involved with the police before, she’d never even as much as spoken to a policeman in her life. But now she had two detectives from the Met sitting in her apartment. It was just too crazy.
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