America for the Newbie
By Joey Matthew
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © Joey Matthew, 2011
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Landing at the Airport
Finding a Place to Stay
Shopping Tricks
Saving Your Receipts
Store Specials & How to Save Money
Saving for a Rainy Day
First Car
Car Insurance
Buying a House
Home Owner’s Insurance
What if You Lose Your Job?
Finding a Spouse
Kids – What’s best for them?
A Divorce How-To?
Retirement
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Foreword
Although this book is intended especially for people who come to the United States to stay for at least a while, most of the ideas and suggestions will help anyone starting their new life here. All suggestions in this book are based on experiences by the author when he landed in Houston on October 10, 1986 with fifteen dollars in his pocket and his life after that.
He is considered very lucky compared to many other well-educated immigrants from many foreign countries who landed here, some even took their own lives, including their loved ones — a ‘2008-murder-suicide’ in California, when an unemployed accounting-industry worker from Bangalore, India, who was despondent over financial problems shot and killed his wife, his three children, his mother-in-law and himself in an upscale home in the Porter Ranch area of Los Angeles — or stooped so low as to drive taxies, cut grass for the public, paint houses, living homeless, and even marrying for a green card, all to survive in this new place.
One young Indian immigrant with a Ph.D., from India even found his belongings on the lawn in front of the house where he was temporarily staying after losing his job — in a well-to-do suburb in Houston — because of his ignorance about the new country. In fact he had quit one well-paying job and taken up another, before the INS processed his papers. When the new employer abruptly withdrew the job offer — he probably found a more ideal candidate — while our hero was vacationing, he found himself without a job or valid papers on his return to Houston. One of the local church volunteers who took pity on him and hired him to babysit in return for free boarding, had lost his patience and thrown him out without any warning!
All the anecdotes described here are real, but names and places may have been changed to avoid any hard feelings. If you liked parts of the book, please tell would be readers and if any parts were unsuitable, outdated or disturbing to you, please drop me a line.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart for reading this book, I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, and maybe add your own experiences without naming any names!
Joey.Matthew@gmail.com
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Landing at the Airport
You made it. It was probably a harrowing experience if you were like me. You must have shopped hard for a good bargain before purchasing the plane ticket. As you have realized by now, there may be a fair amount of commission built into the ticket price, and shopping around with agents as well as the airline will reward you with good savings. This is something to keep in mind for future flights as well.
Other things to remember include; what will you do if you miss a flight? Forget the day of the flight? Or just had to postpone the day of the flight? No need to panic here. Don’t call the Airline, unless you want to pay anywhere from $25 and up. As you are probably aware, talking to an agent costs money while dealing with a computer is free as of today. Don’t have a computer or internet access, no problem, just walk into a nearby public library and you can use the computers there for free. If you have a laptop with wireless access? In that case, all you have to do is park in front of the library and use the free Wi-Fi Access right from your car. All you have to do is just click on the ‘Wi-Fi Button’ at the bottom right-hand-side of your desktop and choose the icon that corresponds to the signals coming off the Public Library!
So, feel free to get online and do your research and if not sure, do an internet search of your specific problem and you will find many similar incidents and what others did to get out of a similar predicament. Once (~2010) I had to change flights on a Southwest Airlines flight and it cost me $15 per ticket for a flight from Houston to New York. Nowadays, the cost of rescheduling on Southwest Airlines flight is free, if you do it well ahead of the day of travel. Sometimes it may be cheaper to cancel the flight and book a new ticket instead of rescheduling. Always check both prices before rescheduling a flight!
Once you land at the host country airport, you will need to pass through immigration and customs and have your papers checked. Expect a long line for the immigrants vs. the line for citizens. Considering that the plane originated in a foreign country, it is safe to assume that most travelers are aliens. That’s what they call you in the US. They even give you an alien number that will stay with you even after your death, just in case somebody wants to steal your identity after your passing away!
Once you are out of customs, you will need to get a taxi or call someone to pick you up. It is a good idea to have coins to make local calls unless a family member is waiting for you already. It is advisable to arrange for someone to meet you at the Airport. It is kind of hard to trust anyone these days, although I am told that the taxis that pick you up at the airport are licensed and trust worthy. But if you were to ask me, this is not the place you were born and do not want to trust anyone, especially salesmen, more about them, later on in the book titled “First Car”.
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Finding a Place to Stay
If you are lucky like me, the person who picked you up from the airport also gave you some cash and arranged a place for you to stay. If not, these are the things you need to do to find temporary living quarters.
Renting a place in your name is out of the question as they need to do a credit check and a background check before they will rent you the unit. So the best thing right now is to find a roommate who already has a unit rented in his name. People tend to advertize on notice boards at Schools, Churches, etc. for roommates. Once you are settled in and found a job, then you can decide where to live and your roommate is going to be helpful here. Be nice to him, since he is probably the only one you really know. The best way to lose a friend is by lending him/her money. So be careful here. On the other hand, friends stick with you, when you owe them something. In this author’s experience, helping a friend could cost you yours friendship. Case in point — My wife and I’ve helped five people to get good jobs during our twenty-five years of stay here.
The first woman we helped had a masters degree in biology and she was staying home complaining about her inability to land a job for the past several years and she had quit looking for one. She was a college professor back in her native country — she taught biology in English, not the local language — and that didn’t seem to help. After we got her introduced to a manager who promptly offered her a job, she was all set for life and advised us promptly not to let anyone know that we got her the job. It happened to be below her dignity to admit that she had received a favor from us.
Later when her husband needed to buy a new personal computer, he chose to buy it from a man and not from me — I had started assembling and selling computers at the time, more out of curiosity than making any money in the process. When I complained asserting that we got his wife a job and he didn’t even feel comfortable buying a $1500 dollar computer from me, they were like, “All our friends are buying from this Pakistani gentleman!” The fact of the matter is that, when their computer assembled by the Pakistani gentleman broke down, he dragged to my house and I fixed it for free. I normally don’t accept money from friends for repair work!
After arriving in the US, the first thing to do is, to get an identification card (ID card) at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). Ask anyone, where to get a driver’s license and they will point you in the right direction. In the US, without an ID card, no transactions can be done, unless you want to pay with cash for everything.
Second, go to the nearby bank or credit union to set up a bank account. Most paychecks are automatically deposited into the bank account. This is convenient for the employer as well as the employee. At this time ask the teller at the bank for a credit card application and apply for one right away. Most probably, the bank is going to deny you a credit card because of your lack of credit history. At this time, ask the bank to give you a secured credit card. What it does is to keep your money, say $500 as security deposit and will give you a credit card with a credit limit of $500. This way, if you decide not to pay or disappear, then the bank will confiscate the $500. You could also ask for a secured loan to establish your credit.
In order to beat the $500 credit limit set by the bank, try adding more money into the credit account. This can be easily done by setting up automatic payments from your bank. So, every time you get a statement from the bank, the credit card will show you a credit balance all the time. A word of caution here is that the banks tend to send you a check stating that you have a credit balance and then charge you an ‘over the limit fee’ or a ‘late fee’, so be careful here and keep an eye on the account!
Other things to consider are, proximity to a grocery store and church. If you happened to find a roommate who is also a church goer, then you are in good shape. It might be useful to contact a volunteer group interested in taking new visitors around the city for errands until they get settled in.
When I first landed in College Station, Texas, my sponsor put me in contact with a church group, whose members would take turns and chaperone me around until I got my wheels. It was a great help for me since I had absolutely no clue about anything and had to ask for directions, even to go to the bath room. My first experience with a vending machine was the highlight of my first day in the new city. I should have saved the tape!
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Shopping Tricks
Once you have lived in the United States, you will realize that everything here has a price and is on sale for the right price. If you really like a house and if it is not for sale, don’t panic, just offer a good price and before you know it, the house is yours. More about it later on in the section titled “Buying a House”.
The first thing to consider is impulse shopping. If you ever do it, you will end up in the poor house before you know it. Always do your research, especially for big ticket items such as a TV or a refrigerator. When I bought a new house, I got a washer & a drier pair for about $500. The setup and delivery was free. I was thrilled at the opportunity to save money here. The purchase was made in 2008, three years ago.
At the same time I bought the house, a friend of mine in New York had also bought a house, but didn’t want to spend the extra money for a washer & drier. He had his clothes washed at a Laundromat as before, until I told him how cheap it was to get a pair, when it comes on sale. I even called him and told him where the sale was. I even quoted him the price they were selling it for. Well, three months later, my friend told me that he actually did buy a washer and drier and paid $1900 for the pair from Home Depot. I was like “what the f*$k?” and he explained to me that the pair he got does everything for him except “deliver a pizza.” I wanted to tell him that he would be in the poor house if he thinks all salesmen are gods!
Another friend of mine has a thing for the stock market. What he does is called “buy high and sell low”. When a stock is doing particularly well, he has this itch to own it. He is an ardent fan of business news on television, especially CNBS. “Hey, everybody is talking about it all day, and I feel left out and to top it all, most analysts are recommending it as a ‘strong buy’.” So my friend buys the stock and feels good about it for a while until it starts tanking. He will wait to see if the loss in stock value is for real or just a temporary correction in the stock market.
But once he figures out that it is for real, he dumps the stock and is depressed for a few weeks. Well, here is something to learn. The genius of all, Warren Buffet said once that “I do the opposite of what everyone else is doing”. It explains why he makes money whether the stock market is going up or down. The lesson here is make your own decisions and don’t be a copy cat!
"Pump and dump" is a form of stock fraud that involves falsely inflating the price of an owned stock by analysts through misleading positive statements, in order to sell the cheaply purchased stock at a much higher price. Once the operators of the scheme "dump" their overvalued shares, the price falls and investors lose their money. Stocks that are the subject of “pump-and-dump” schemes are sometimes called "chop stocks". My friend needs to read this information before plunging head-long into a stock buying binge!
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Saving Your Receipts
If you ever wanted to return something to a shop, having a receipt is very handy. Although, most shops have their receipts on a server, they seldom retrieve it for your benefit. Their job is to sell and don’t appreciate it when anyone returns it for any reason. When you walk into a shop, if the return line is longer than the check-out line, get the hell out of there; you don’t want to shop there, unless there are some serious deals to have. I don’t mind waiting in line 3-4 hours, if I am going to save at least a $100 on the merchandise. All the great purchases I made were on Fridays after thanksgiving, buying laptops and similar electronic gadgets.
One thing to keep in mind while shopping is that certain items need to be returned for a refund sooner than the others. One example is Wal-Mart. Normally, you can return items for up to 90 days, sometimes even without a receipt. But expensive items do require a receipt, unless you are willing to request the manager and yell at him so that all the shoppers may hear you. Pharmacy items can only be returned within 2 weeks of purchase. So beware of where you shop and what you buy. Never throw receipts away, instead put them in a bag and keep them at least for a year.
If you have a credit card that provides extended warranty, use them for big purchases. This will get you a 2-year warranty instead of one year, if the product comes with an initial one year warranty. Also disputes with a merchant can be easily resolved, if you bought the item using a credit card. The credit card companies are eager to please you with a quick refund.
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Store Specials & How to Save Money
If you enjoy saving money, the key is patience. Mark your calendars for special holidays like thanksgiving and Christmas. There is also a white sale in January. So if you wanted a nice Jacket, this is the time to buy it for as much as 80% off the retail price. When it comes to saving money, there is no need to feel shy. If you don’t feel happy about it, like me (I get a rush that lasts for several days), feel free to donate the savings to an unfortunate family member or someone you meet while shopping. This way, you could feel good twice, first when you buy something on sale and second, when you see the face of the lucky recipient whom you gave the cash.
A few years ago, I was shopping for groceries at a fiesta mart here in Houston. At the check-out line, I happened to stand behind this old lady paying with cash and she didn’t have all the cash needed to cover the groceries. So she would ask the cashier to remove a few items at a time and try to pay with the cash that she had on hand and she fell short a couple of times.
I knew from the way the elderly lady looked, that she was having a hard time making ends meet. So I told the cashier to give all the groceries back to her and paid the difference. The lady thanked me and left. My wife was standing behind me and she was stunned! To this day, every time I think about it, I get the same feeling I experienced that day when I helped that elderly lady. She needed the cash more than I did. So look for opportunities to help the needy. They may be in your church, at the mall or in your School wearing a torn jacket.
The effects of such donations are several-fold, since there is no middlemen taking money away from your donation for the so called “administrative costs” as the fat cats call it. You will be surprised to know the number of people that make a living “in the name of charity”, including my Bishop. In an ideal world, there shouldn’t be an administrative component. Everybody should be a volunteer or must accept volunteer salaries. Well, then how else are they going to drive expensive German cars or live in palatial mansions, drawing a salary from a charitable organization?
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Saving for a Rainy Day
There will be a lot of rainy days, if you know what I mean. Irrespective of the local weather, there will be a lot of rainy and cold days for the immigrants, especially in the south, like in Texas. Talking about the south, a middle-aged teacher once (~1994) told me how she hated driving through Mississippi on her way to visit her elderly mother. She was African-American and wouldn’t stop to use the restroom, if her life depended on it. When I complained about the attitude of some folks down here, to a New Yorker, he told me that I was crazy to live down south. I believed him at the time, but was too lazy to move my butt all the way down to the Big Apple.
Studies have shown that only 47% of working age Americans have a full-time job, meaning 53% of the people are either unemployed or under employed. The number of Americans that receive food stamps is 43.2 million1. That's 18.1% of all working age Americans. So for obvious reasons, one has to be very careful with spending money. Another look at homelessness shows that, about 3.5 million Americans were homeless as of 20072. That is about 11 out of 1000 in 2007. These figures are staggering, especially since almost half of those were children (1.35 million). The 2008 recession may have pushed more people out of their homes and into the streets.
The facts mentioned here points to the urgency of the situation. There are numerous ways one can put money away and let it grow. There are several outfits that let you invest your money in mutual funds. A lot of research needs to be done before picking a company. The most important number to keep in mind is the expense ratio. Higher the expense ratio, more of your money will disappear towards administrative costs. The second item to remember is the fees they charge you on a yearly basis. Some companies like vanguard won’t charge you fees, if you agree to receive all correspondence from them electronically.
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First Car
If you never bought a car before, it is better to ask someone or take someone along for help. If you have never driven a car before, it is likely that you will crash your car soon and hence, it is not advisable to invest much money in it until you are satisfied that you are a good driver. So the best thing to do is to buy a used car until you become an experience driver, and since you are likely to crash it, better buy a safe car so that you will be around to buy a brand new car.
Before deciding to buy a new car, search online to see what features you are looking for and which cars fall into that category. Always make a list and know beforehand what the dealer cost is and what kind of promotions are available. Consumer Report Magazine is a good source for unbiased information. Typically a car/truck costs 15% less that the sticker cost. So you must add any rebates on top of that. If a $50,000 car cost $42,500 for the dealer and the manufacturer is offering a $5000 year-end rebate, then start offering the dealer a price not greater than $37,500. Of course, the same car may be offered at different prices at different dealerships. Although I have five dealerships within ten miles, I had to drive over 30 miles to buy three of the cars that I bought within the last three years.
Never believe anything the car salesmen tell you. They may tell you half-truths or lies. They are there to make money and not to help you out, but to help you spend your money. It is always better to go to as many dealerships as you can before making your final decision. After your first visit, they will be calling you to get you to buy their car. So give it a couple of months before making a final decision. Also beware of dates to keep in mind for getting a better deal. Summer time, end of months and year-ends are the best times to negotiate for a better deal. If you are an immigrant, avoid salesmen from your country. You are likely to pay a higher price to someone who looks like you and speaks your native tongue. So steer clear of them.
Get a loan pre-approved from your bank before you start shopping for a new car. If the dealer gives you a better rate than your bank, go for it. But beware of the financing by the dealer. They may add extra costs to your bottom line without your knowledge. So your bank is the best bet for financing a new or used car. Another thing to be aware of is extended warranty. If the car you are planning to buy is likely to breakdown soon after the factory warranty expires, and if you plan to keep the car for a while, then extended warranty is highly recommended.
Keep in mind that you have the option to buy the extended warranty before the new car warranty expires and if I were you, I would wait before making a decision like that. There are several companies that offer extended warranty, and they are very aggressive. If you call them once, they will be calling you back the whole year, trying to get you to buy the extended warranty. If you decide to buy it from a company other than the car manufacturer, you might it be in for a surprise, when your car breaks down. Doing a lot of research on the company, especially customer complaints is important before you jump in.
After signing a contract with the dealer, make sure you get copies of all the paperwork and study them at home. If there is something you don’t like, or some decision that you took, while you were there at the dealership, and if you want to change your mind, don’t hesitate to call them and sign a new contract. Normally, you have 30 days to change your mind.
Lately, I have heard several complaints from customers that, after buying a car for a certain interest rate, the dealers changes the rate saying that the banks wouldn’t approve the low rate they thought they could get. To avoid such complications, don’t take delivery of the car until you are sure that the loan is approved and everything is to your satisfaction.
Another source of good information is online, where you can find out what people actually paid for a certain car. This will give you an idea as to what the car is actually worth, before losing your hard-earned money.
Servicing your car is equally important to avoid costly breakdowns. A good rule of thumb is to read the owner’s manual and do the recommended services yourself or at a reputable mechanic. It is important to keep the receipts, if the car is still under warranty.
The dealership might ask for maintenance receipts, if you have a mechanical failure. They might say things like, oh that happened because you didn’t change the air-filter. Keeping all the receipts is also good when it comes to selling your car. The buyers might want to look at them before they make you a better offer. This is one way they make sure that you took care of your car while the car was in your care.
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Car Insurance
A good rule of thumb is to check with your friends and family about insurance companies they have with first, before you start calling for insurance quotations. Over the years, I had companies such as Travelers, Farmers, State Farm, Colonial Penn, Harford and Geico. I had Geico twice; the first time I had Geico, I got a better deal from Hartford and switched my policy. After a couple of years, Geico gave me a better deal and I switched back. The ideal thing to do is to call around as soon as your policy is up for renewal.
If you are like me, you would call all the reputable insurance companies before making your final decision about which insurance company to go with. Make sure to ask for discounts you can get and make use of them. You may save money by attending defensive driving classes or adding an alarm system to your car. Living in a house vs. an apartment and a zip code with high crimes all can make a difference to how much you pay for car insurance. Having a high deductible can also save you money on car insurance.
When I lived in College Station in Texas, I was paying $500 for full insurance for two cars and two drivers. When I moved to Houston, my insurance shot up to $1200, just because of the move. So you could end up paying a lot more just because of your neighborhood. Sometimes, it is better to drop full coverage to save money. Again, it depends on your driving habits and the ability to pay for repairs from your pocket. Your liability will cover the other party’s car that was involved in the accident, if it was your fault.
Try to minimize claims as the number of claims can increase your premium. If the damage is not much, it is best to pay for it out of pocket rather than filing a claim. Accidents happen rarely, but once they increase your premium, you will end up paying for it over several years. So just by adding up the numbers, you can decide which way to go when a claim arises.
Getting speeding tickets in Texas can actually increase your insurance premiums. So try to avoid getting tickets and for occasional tickets that you get, take a defensive driving course to keep it off your record. Texas allows one defensive driving course per year.
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Buying a House
Listen to what people say about buying a house, especially from people who live in the area. Best thing to do is to live in the area for a while and check out the neighborhoods before settling on a location.
Things you might want to consider include crime in the area, neighborhood schools, shopping, especially Chinese or Indian grocery stores in the area, restaurants that you might want to frequent, and parks, if you like to walk or take your kids out frequently. It is a good idea to have 20% of the purchase price in cash and a good credit. After getting the first job, building credit should be a top priority.
Borrowing money from your credit union (I would not recommend banks because they can be real nasty, if you don’t watch your back!) and financing your car, even if you don’t need that loan are good ways to increase your credit score. Getting store cards and purchasing everything on them and paying them off right away is another tactic used by many to increase their credit scores.
Buying a house is probably the second biggest thing you might do in your lifetime, first being the spouse. Your kids are going to grow up in that house and it will have a big impact on them. So, tread lightly and make a wise decision. Moving to a different house is not easy and you could end up losing a lot of money and not to talk about the time and effort that goes into it.
Picking a realtor is something that you can use to your advantage. If you already know what house to buy, then you could negotiate with the realtor and decide on the amount commission the realtor can keep. The extra amount can be used as a down payment and one must get this in writing so that the realtor won’t go back on his word and walk away with a fat commission, for which he didn’t invest any time or effort. Picking the right bank is equally important. One can get pre-qualified for a loan, even before finding a house. This will give you an idea as to what amount can be financed as well as what your monthly payments are going to be. The magic number is 30% of your take home income, provided that you are not indebted elsewhere.
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Home Owner’s Insurance
The key point here to remember is this: If you have a house made of fire-resistant material, then you wouldn’t need to buy homeowner’s insurance, unless you financed your home through a bank, then you definitely need insurance. Normally an average home will cost about $1000 per year to cover for fire, theft, etc.
Flood prone areas require extra insurance as the regular insurance will not cover damage from flood. I never understood the rationale behind it, but this is the reality. But keep in mind that ‘acts of god’ are not covered by your homeowner’s policy. There is only a limited coverage for theft as well, unless you expressly insure the materials by calling the company and sending a copy of the bill to the company. A recent break-in in a nearby community left a family without their priced gold jewelry worth at least $50,000. After the break-in they filed a claim and was promptly paid $5000 dollars for the loss!
Things to consider before calling the insurance company; what are the types of discounts you qualify? Would it save money to have a burglar alarm at the house? How about investing in a fire extinguisher? How about being a member of an organization like AARP? What if you are a teacher? How about getting a higher deductible? All these will add up and will save you a bundle. Talk to home owners you know and they will be able to give you some information for saving money.
Another thing to keep in mind is that, at the time for renewal of the policy, shop around to see if you can get better rates. There is no harm in trying, but if you didn’t, your policy might keep going up year after year! Keep an eye on the statements. Sometimes, they raise your rates for no reason. I had a home owner’s policy with Hartford. After year, my premium suddenly went up by about 15%. I called GEICO and switched my policy right away. After a month, Hartford sent me a refund check stating that the state of Texas actually lowered my rate and hence they were giving me a refund.
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What if You Lose Your Job?
Most people lose their jobs at least once in their career. The chance of job lose mainly depends on the type of job you have. Many jobs such as in the retail business or the manufacture of durable goods are cyclical, with ups and downs in the market. So if you are the only bread winner in the family, then you need to choose your career wisely. At present, the jobs with lasting ability are in Education, Healthcare & the City and Federal Government. Engineering & Financial firms also go through ups and downs depending on the economy. So plan your life accordingly and get your spouse ready to jump in, in case of job loss.
Pundits suggest that you bank six months worth of living expenses for just such purposes. But what if you don’t find a job in six months? Do you have enough time to sell your house and move to a cheaper place? What are you going to do for money in the new place? It is good to have a plan in place for such emergencies. I am a pessimist and hence I would move to a cheaper place as soon as I lose my job, unless my spouse is able to pay mortgage while I look for a job. This will give us additional time to plan ahead without losing out heads.
Another option is going to school. This will give me time to think and plan ahead with a possible career change. Student loans are available to cover college expenses. The important thing to consider is what if I don’t land a job after completing my studies? Make it a point to check what percent of graduates actually landed jobs before picking an area to study. Going to a Community College can save you money as the cost of tuition is one fifth of what most universities charge. Beware of online colleges. They are for profit and you will have to do a lot of research and talk to past students to find out if they are worth it. There are cases where students studied at a private institution and then had to repeat everything at a regular University. If you are not sure, go to a State University. Chances are that you won’t be cheated out of your money, although State Universities may not be as efficient as some of the private ones. Always apply for a scholarship when applying for studies. Unless you try, you will never know.
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Finding a Spouse
The most important decision anyone makes in their lifetime would be choosing a spouse. You make a mistake here and your “life is screwed” for the rest of your life, like one of my friends put it. So read self-help books, do your research, and talk to experienced family members before making a commitment. People say that Americans marry three times. First for sex, could be a high School sweet heart, second marriage for babies, need good genes for that, and the third marriage is for companionship in their old age. The reason being is that, you are going to be staying home 24/7, and you need somebody you can put up with all the time.
The take home message from this is this; marry someone you can have sex with without feeling guilty or ashamed, have good genes, and of course, with whom you can grow old with. This way, you can jump three hoops with one smart decision. So what’s it going to be? A beauty that will turn you on with one glance? A smart one who got all the answers or someone who is sweet and with whom you can talk about everything under the sun and don’t get bored doing so? If you are lucky to find someone with all three attributes, just beg them to marry you and don’t take no for an answer. Sometimes, persistence pays off, and try it several times, before calling it quits.
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Kids-What’s best for them?
When it comes to kids, learn from others, who have gone through the same problems and there is no need to reinvent the wheel. When in doubt, ask others, search on the internet or take advice from family members. The first few years of a child’s life is crucial and if there are no good Schools in the neighborhood, make an extra effort to put your child in a private School for at least until your child can read and write.
How to make your child excel in school? There are lots of techniques that can be used to motivate the child. Some children don’t need any encouragement, but most children do need constant prodding. The particular method of getting your child to get good grades may depend entirely on your child. Try different tactics until you hit upon the one that best fits your child. The best way to motivate any child is by rewarding them for good behavior, such as getting an “A” on a math test.
First thing to do is to find out what your child really wants and what the child is willing to do, to get it. If you buy everything for your child, then the reward system will not work. Hold things that they want back and only give it to them for behaviors that you want them to do. Here is a good example for how the reward system worked with my son. He used to play soccer as a child and was not really interested in the game. His team lost miserably to other teams throughout the season. He was also an avid video game player and was always looking for cash to get the latest video game to play on his Nintendo console. I knew that he would jump at the chance of earning some extra cash. So I suggested that I would pay him $5 for each goal that he scored. His team beat all the other teams except one for the reminder of the season. The coaches named him ‘lightening Fred’ and limited the number of goals he could put to six per game!
If you live in Houston, then there are high quality magnet Schools you can pick from without getting into trouble for doing so. There is a case going on right now in Ohio, where charges of grand theft were filed against Kelley Williams-Bolar for sending her daughters to a school outside of her assigned school district. The problem here seems to be that the school taxes collected from neighborhoods is spent locally, and hence no one is allowed to send their kids elsewhere. A possible solution could be collecting out-of-district tuition for any available space. But implementing this would take an Egyptian style revolution (Feb., 2011).
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A Divorce How-To
If you tried everything, then it is time to let go. A bad marriage is like living with a bullet stuck in your brain. It gives you constant pain and you are on pain killers, but removing it would be like pulling the plug on grandma. Ideally, communication is the key and couples in conflict must talk and resolve their differences amicably. Come on, you lived together for eternity, shared joys and sorrows, but when it comes to talking, just can’t do it, can you?
The first thing to do is to make up your mind. Can it be saved? What can you do to save it? Where is the problem? Can it be negotiated? Did you two go for counseling? Talk to friends? Talk to family members? Talk to your kids? If nothing can be done to save it, then the decision has already been made, end it!
The next part is deciding how to go about it. Who is going to take care of the kids, if they are below 18 years of age? How to divide assets? Who gets the home? How much alimony to pay for the spouse who ends up taking care of minor children? The spouse who planned to end the marriage ahead may hide assets. Also if there is only one house, there can be a problem with division. If the couple jointly owns two houses with equal equity built-in, the division will be easier. Otherwise, the spouse that gets the house may have to pay the other spouse, half of the equity, complicating the matter further.
If the kids are about to reach 18, it is better to wait to avoid complications with child custody. Filing for divorce can be done at the court house or get someone to do it for you. An attorney is only needed, if both parties don’t agree on the division of assets. In Texas, divorce maybe granted on the following fault basis: (1) Cruelty, (2) Adultery, (3) Conviction of a felony, (4) Abandonment, (5) Confinement in a mental hospital, (6) Living apart without cohabitation for at least 3 years. The divorce is normally granted three months after filing it, when both parties have signed the petition.
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Retirement
The first thing to do after getting your first job is to sign up for the 401(k) plan. Putting as much money tax-free in this plan can help you borrow money for emergencies at a lower interest rate. But keep in mind that your money is not growing as it should, during that time. When you change jobs, the funds can be transferred to an IRA and can be used for tuition payments or as a down payment towards your first home purchase. Investing the money wisely can help you retire wealthy and even earn you an early retirement, if the funds grow substantially.
Normally, pundits recommend a 60-40 split for a healthy portfolio. Stocks in the portfolio must be 60% and 40% bonds. When interest rates go up, bond rates fall and vice versa. When stocks reach their peak, it is a good idea to move the funds into bonds and switch back, when the stock market crashes like in 2008. Keeping an eye on the 401(k) funds is really important to weather ups and downs in the stock market.
One can start withdrawing money at age 591/2. So if you plan on getting Social Security at age 62, then you could retire at age 591/2 by taking monthly withdrawals from your 401(k) account. You are required to pay ordinary income taxes on the withdrawals, but if you are retired, then you wouldn’t have much money coming in, to pay taxes on it anyway.
References
Other Titles by Joey Matthew
Caretaker or Predator
Do More With Less
How She Got Her Man
Lovers Beware
Mail Order Bride
Me, Nisa & Texas
My Algebra Teacher Is A Nymphomaniac
Olivia's Revenge
One That Got Away
Three Sisters
Till Burning Bed Do Us Part
To Diet or Not To Diet
Twist of Fate.
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