Someone Else’s Life: Book Two – Missing Pieces
Jennifer Zwaniga
Copyright © 2011 by Jennifer Zwaniga
Smashwords Edition
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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Table of Contents
September 5, 2008
Dear Diary
I, Keri Lawrence, am certifiably nuts. Sometimes I really question the stupid ideas that go through my head. I mean, what was I thinking when I decided to stay at my grandmother’s house in Cotton Creek, South Carolina for the school year? I was miserable when my parents made me spend an entire summer here and I couldn’t wait to go home.
But things were different then. So much has happened, so much has changed. Back then I didn’t know my family had hidden some important information from me, the fact I had a sister who died the day before I was born. I hadn’t yet discovered I am, in fact, the reincarnation of my sister, Abby. And back then, I didn’t know I would meet Adrian, a guy who affected me in a way that no other guy ever had.
In spite of our rocky beginning, Adrian and I have become friends. It’s hard to let myself believe that a guy like Adrian could ever want to date someone like me, but sometimes the connection—the pull—I feel with him is so strong that I dare to hope.... It’s one of the reasons I decided to stick around.
My first week of school sucked more than I’d have thought possible. I’ve never really felt like I fit in anywhere. Rachel is pretty much my only friend back home, in Chicago. I thought that starting at a new school and having a popular friend like Adrian would give me some leverage—help me be accepted. I let myself believe things would be different in Cotton Creek.
Ha. What a joke. After the past few days, it’s become painfully obvious that Adrian’s tight-knit group of friends will never accept me. And, if I’m honest, I don’t feel comfortable with them anyway. They’re exactly the type of kids I steered clear of at my last school. I guess some of the guys seem okay, but the girls. Ugh! I had my first taste of gorgeous, perfect Alyssa at the river this past summer, when Adrian introduced us. She didn’t hide her dislike for me then, and she doesn’t now either. That is, unless Adrian’s around. Then she’s on her best behavior.
It’s so obvious that Alyssa has a thing for Adrian. The way she hangs off his every word, and coyly uses every opportunity to touch his arm and flirt with him turns my stomach. It’s more than that, though. I want so desperately to be that person—the beautiful, at ease, flirtatious girl who could interest someone like him. Alyssa is the kind of girl who guys drool over. She’s everything I’m not. I don’t see how I can begin to compete, and I feel like I will wither up and die if I can’t have him.
CHAPTER 1
Keri awoke to the sound of the lawn-mower. Glowing red lights of the digital clock on her nightstand read: 10:08. She hopped out of bed and looked out her window onto the lush landscape in search of Adrian. Her heart skipped a beat as he appeared from around the side of the house, pushing the mower into the backyard. Keri sighed. She desperately wanted to spend some time with him.
Figuring she had at least another half hour before he would finish, and possibly another half hour for the hedge clipping, she rushed off into her bathroom to shower.
When Keri stepped out onto the back patio forty minutes later, Adrian had just put the lawnmower away and returned with a pair of hedge clippers. He looked at Keri, smiled and waved.
“Hi,” Keri said. As she walked to meet him, she noticed how his damp t-shirt clung to the hard muscles of his chest. Sweat trickled down his neck, and she had to force her eyes away before he caught her staring. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest. “You got an early start today.”
“Yep. I wanted to get the work out of the way so I can enjoy the rest of the weekend.” He eyed Keri from top to bottom and winked. “I see you’re still determined to wear pants no matter how hot it is.”
Normally, a remark like that would send her off into a defensive tirade, but she was beginning to figure Adrian out. He didn’t mean anything bad by it and, in all fairness, she had never told him about the ugly scar on her leg.
“Yeah, well.” She smiled. It wouldn’t be fair to get all pissy with him over it.
Laughing, he shook his head. “Sometimes I really don’t understand you at all.”
“Keeps things interesting that way, don’t you think?”
“That it does.”
“Do you want to take a break for a bit? You look hot.” In more ways than one.
“I really should get this wrapped up,” he said, nodding toward the untrimmed bushes.
“Just for a few minutes? I can get us some cold drinks.” She hoped she didn’t sound like she was begging.
Adrian placed the clippers onto the freshly mowed lawn. “I guess a few minutes wouldn’t kill anyone, and a drink would be great.” He followed Keri to the patio and sat on one of the padded white wicker chairs.
“I’ll be right back,” Keri said, and then hurried into the house. As she poured two glasses of lemonade, she watched him through the kitchen window. After a week of being subjected to Adrian’s friends, she was ecstatic to have him to herself. Her heart raced at the thought. It was what she wanted, but she was so nervous about blowing things with him. Adrian was almost too good to be true. Sometimes she had to pinch herself to believe it wasn’t all a dream.
With chilled glasses in hand, Keri rejoined Adrian on the patio, and sat on a chair across from him. She handed him his drink, droplets of condensation already sliding down the smooth glass, and took a sip of her own. Unsure of what to say next, she stalled by taking another swallow, savoring its tart sweetness.
“So, what do you think of Cotton Creek High so far?
Keri shrugged.
“What does that mean?” Adrian asked, as he mirrored her shrugging action.
Keri curled her lip in thought. How could she say what she really felt without offending him or sounding like a whiny baby? “It’s okay, I guess. Just different,” she finally said.
“How so?”
Keri paused. “Sometimes it feels like....”
Adrian gave her an encouraging smile. “Like...?”
“Well, like everybody already knows each other. I feel totally out of place ... like I don’t belong here.”
Adrian rolled his eyes, playfully. “Don’t be silly. It’ll just take some getting used to. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Oh, couldn’t it?” Keri challenged. “It’s hard enough not knowing anybody, but it seems like everyone around here has known each other forever.”
“You know people. You know me and you know my friends.”
How could she make him understand? She wanted to tell him about all the snide comments Alyssa had made to her when he wasn’t listening, how Alyssa had accused her of taking advantage of Adrian’s good nature by attaching herself to him and his friends like a leech. She had even gone so far as to say that Adrian was just being nice to her because of his friendship with Keri’s grandmother. Keri didn’t want to believe any of it, but Alyssa had succeeded in planting a small seed of doubt in her mind. She couldn’t say any of this to Adrian, though.
“About your friends...” she began slowly.
Adrian pulled his chair closer to Keri and eyed her curiously. “What about them?”
“Well...I don’t think they like me much.”
“Of course they like you.” Adrian looked at her with soft eyes that made her want to melt. “I thought things were going okay. I mean, I tried to be there for you as much as I could—”
“Oh, it’s not you. You’re great. I didn’t mean to sound like I was complaining about you. It’s just that ... well, you’re like my only friend, and I truly believe your friends would rather not have me hanging around.”
“You’re not serious?” Adrian sounded surprised. “Maybe you guys just need a little more time to get used to each other. It’s only been a week, after all.”
Keri shook her head. “No. I don’t think that’s it.”
“Alyssa and Bev have been trying to get to know you. I always see them talking to you at lunch and stuff.”
Keri bit her tongue. His comment opened up a bottomless pit of things she could say about the little princesses. As much as Keri wanted to tell Adrian what she really thought, she didn’t think laying into him about his friends was going to win her any brownie points. Instead, she took a deep breath, already questioning if the next words out of her mouth would be another mistake in the many she’d made with him. “I feel like I’m intruding. You guys have all been friends since you were kids, and everyone is older than me, and—”
“Only a year—”
“Adrian, please let me finish.”
She’d been giving a lot of thought as to how she should handle the situation, but she hadn’t, until this moment, decided for sure what she should do. She hated that it had come to this, but she couldn’t see any way around it.
“I need to try making some new friends of my own—friends who aren’t hanging around me because they feel obligated to.”
“Is it me, too?” Adrian asked. “Do you think I feel obligated ... because I never meant to make you feel like that. I really do like you Keri, and not just because of Martha. I want to be your friend. I thought we were friends.”
A tear sprang to Keri’s eye. She quickly turned her head and wiped it away. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed hard and paused before responding.
“It’s not you.” She turned to face him again. “I’m glad to have you as a friend, but I think it’s going to have to be outside of school. I’m not used to hanging out with people like them, and I think it would be better if I separated myself a bit.”
Adrian reached over and placed a warm hand over Keri’s. Fingers entwined, he gave her a gentle squeeze. “I think you’re overreacting. You just need time to adjust, and so do they.”
Keri shook her head, refusing to allow his words to convince her. “I don’t expect you to understand how I feel. It’s complicated. I just need some time and space to figure things out.”
“Wow.” Adrian sighed and ran his hand through his thick, dark hair. “So what happens on Monday?”
“I’ll find my own way to school. Then I guess we’ll just see from there.”
“Don’t be silly. I can still drive you to school.”
“No,” Keri insisted. “That will just make things harder. I appreciate everything you’ve done, but my mind is made up.”
“But—”
“Let it go ... please.”
Adrian rose from his chair, his tone taking on a sharp edge. “You know what I think?”
Not daring to speak, Keri waited for him to continue.
“I think you’re doing the same thing with my friends as you did to me when we first met.”
Keri looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t you remember the way you acted when we met? You didn’t even know me, but it was like you wanted to pick a fight or something; like you wanted to push me away. Now you’re doing it again with my friends. I don’t understand you at all.” He shook his head and turned away. “Thanks for the drink. I better get back to work.”
Keri panicked, trying to think of a way to save the situation. Nothing had gone as she’d planned. All she wanted to do was make Adrian understand that she was struggling to fit in, and that she needed some friends. She had hoped that he’d see the truth in her word, that he’d understand his friends had not made her feel welcome at all. But all she had succeeded in doing was making Adrian believe she thought his friends weren’t good enough for her. And she had told him she didn’t want to hang around with him at school.
What was I thinking?
She wanted to take the words back. She wanted to rush to his side and tell him it had all been a joke, and that she couldn’t imagine a school day—any day—going by without hanging around with him. She wanted to wrap her arms around his solid body and never let go.
Paralyzed, she did none of these things. Instead she watched him walk away.
CHAPTER 2
September 12, 2008,
I’m such a loser. Five days, and I haven’t been able to make one lousy friend. On the few occasions I got up enough nerve to try to talk to someone in my classes, they hardly gave me the time of day. Oh, sure, they were polite enough to say “hi” back to me, or to answer whatever lame question I managed to come up with. But that was about it. Nobody went out of their way to continue the conversation beyond that. Am I really that bad?
The first day was the hardest. By the time lunch came, I had nobody to hang out with. Adrian and his friends were already sitting in the cafeteria. I was so tempted to go sit with them, but I forced myself to sit somewhere else, hoping that someone might join me. Nobody did. Finally, I think Adrian took pity on me and came over to convince me to join his table. I hated sitting there all alone. I didn’t know what else to do, so I followed him.
Big mistake.
Right away, Alyssa and Bev started in on me with questions about why I wasn’t sitting with them like usual. I could see the smug looks on their faces, could see the hidden laughter. I got out of there as quickly as I could, and went for a walk and a much needed cigarette. After that, I just avoided the cafeteria altogether.
Not hanging out with Adrian is killing me. I’ve been avoiding him as much as possible because seeing him from a distance, laughing and having fun with his friends, is too painful. I want so badly for him to leave his friends for a bit and come looking for me—to hang out just with me. But I made my wishes pretty clear to him, so I guess it wouldn’t be fair to blame him now that he’s giving me what I asked for. Or maybe he really doesn’t want to hang around with me at all. Maybe he’s glad to be free of me.
He did call me a couple times this week to make sure I was okay. I lied and said everything was fine, and that I had some new friends I was hanging out with at lunchtime. Of course, wondering if he might know them, he asked me who they were. It caught me off guard, so I just threw out the names of a couple girls in my homeroom. I think he knew I was lying.
“Well luv, I think that’s about everything,” Gram said, wiping her sweaty hands on her pant legs. “Looks like you’re all moved in.”
Keri looked around Abby’s room, hers now, thankful that Gram had been so agreeable about her changing rooms. From the first day she’d arrived at her grandmother’s, Keri had felt an overwhelming pull to the room, but since discovering the truth of her reincarnation, she felt even more compelled to spend time there. Her memories of Abby were clearer here. She still had so many things to figure out about her past—and her future—and she felt that her connection to this room gave her the best chance at solving the puzzle.
She’d decided to keep all of the furniture, and she’d left most of Abby’s books on the bookshelf. The tattered Raggedy Ann doll still held its place of honor on the top shelf. They had moved the storage boxes out, but aside from a few things, like Keri’s desk, computer and TV, the room looked very much the same. Although she didn’t want to change the space too much, Keri figured in time the nasty pink wallpaper would simply have to go. As much as she wanted to feel a part of Abby, she had her limits.
“Thanks for your help, Gram.”
Gram sighed. “It’s still so hard to get used to this room being used again. I have so many memories—good and bad—from when it belonged to your Aunt Caroline and then Abby.”
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Keri asked. I have to have it.
Gram nodded. “Yes. It’s been locked up for too long, harboring so many secrets. A lot of healing can come of this, for all of us. It’s time to move past all the old sorrows.”
With a smile, Keri gave Gram a hug.
“Have I told you how pleased I am that you decided to stay?”
Keri laughed. “Only about ten times a day.”
“Because I couldn’t be any happier.” Gram clapped her hands together. “I’ll let you get settled while I work on dinner.”
“Thanks, Gram.”
Keri closed the door behind her grandmother and surveyed the room again. It felt like home, like it was where she belonged. With a sudden urge to read something from Abby’s diaries, she entered the large walk-in closet, stopping short at the sight of the large armoire that stood against the far wall. The big cabinet had been the bane of her existence for the last week of her summer. After weeks of reoccurring dreams about a secret attic, Keri had been convinced that the room lay somehow beyond it. But after days of looking for a way to access it, and being unable to budge the monstrously heavy piece, she’d been unable to figure it out. Eventually she’d given up and tried to put the idea out of her head.
Now, as she studied it further, she had to wonder if maybe she’d been wrong all along. Perhaps there was no hidden attic room behind the armoire. Or if it did exist, maybe it was in an entirely different location. For all she knew, that armoire could have been somewhere else before it was moved to Abby’s room and the attic room she dreamed of was somewhere else, too.
Even as she thought it, she was certain it wasn’t true. The dreams were too frequent and too vivid. She was sure she was on the right track. If only she could move past the point in her dream where she was looking at the armoire and could actually see how to access the stairway....
Not feeling up to the frustration of trying again, she carried on with collecting Abby’s diaries, and went directly to the old cedar chest that held the coveted books. She lifted the lid, removed the blankets, and slipped her finger under the almost hidden lip that allowed her to lift the false bottom to where the six diaries were locked away.
Fingering through the worn blue velvet covers, she searched for the oldest one, deciding that she would reread them in order from cover to cover. She wanted to know and understand the person she’d been when she was Abby. Besides the occasional dream, and the intermittent memories, the diaries were her best link to the past.
After propping herself up on her bed, she opened the book to the first page and began reading about the life of ten-year-old Abby.
It was early morning when Keri awoke from yet another dream about the armoire. She sat straight up, her head thumping and her forehead dripping with sweat. The dream had been so real, so vivid—more so than ever before.
She dabbed her forehead with her sheets. As a precaution, she flipped the lock on the bedroom door before heading to the closet, determined to solve the mystery. There was a reason she kept having this dream. She was convinced it wasn’t random. It was real, and she felt strongly that deep down, somewhere she couldn’t explain, she should know the answer. She’d been beyond this hidden door before. Not as Keri, and not as Abby, but as somebody else. Someone or something was leading her to this attic hideaway, the same way she’d been led to Abby’s locked room when she’d first arrived at Gram’s house. She needed to know.
As she stared at the huge armoire, it struck her for the first time as kind of strange that it was in the closet in the first place. For one thing, it was a beautifully carved piece of furniture. What was the point in hiding it in a closet? Besides, the closet was huge. It had plenty of room already for clothing without it. The other thing that seemed odd was its size. Sure, she’d often marveled at the enormity of it, but she’d never stopped to think about how it got to be in the closet in the first place. There was no way that that thing ever fit through the closet door opening, which pretty much meant that either the closet had been built around the cabinet, or it had been assembled right in the closet.
Why did I never see this before? Now it seemed clearer than ever. It was there for the purpose of hiding the doorway to the mysterious stairway she’d so often dreamed about. But why?
With newly ignited excitement, Keri paced the closet, surveying every angle, every inch of the armoire. There was a way past it; she just had to figure it out. Although she knew it was pointless, she pulled open the two top doors and climbed right up and into it. Starting at the top left corner, she worked her way across and down, feeling for anything that might be a switch or a loose board. When she was satisfied there was nothing, she climbed back out, pulled out the bottom three drawers, and shimmied her body into the tight opening. Again, she felt around the back, but still found nothing.
Sweating, and frustrated, she wiggled back out. She sat on the floor staring up at the haunting piece. “Come on, Keri,” she whispered. “Think. You know the answer.” She squeezed her eyes tight and tried to concentrate, willing the solution to miraculously pop into her head. After a few moments of nothing, she gave up.
Moving beyond frustrated to angry, Keri leaped up and slammed the palm of her hand on the side of the armoire. The pain was instant.
“Damn it,” she cried, grasping her fisted hand and gritting her teeth. Tears of disappointment slid down her flushed cheeks, and she didn’t even bother to wipe them away. Unexpectedly, a vision of an adrenaline-hyped green Incredible Hulk picking up the chunk of wood and tossing it aside like a toy popped into her head. The Hulk was one of Abby’s memories of a TV show she used to watch as a child. Keri almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it. If only she unexpectedly had super strength powers to shove it aside.
The sudden connection to her past as Abby gave her the drive she needed to continue. “I will beat this thing,” she vowed.
She breathed deeply, and tried to regain some semblance of composure. Having a meltdown wasn’t going to solve her problems. She needed to think, be rational. If there was a door back there—and she knew there was—there had to be a way to get to it. After pushing aside the clothes that hung on the rack on the left hand side of it, she began feeling around the edges of the yellowing wallpapered wall.
Who the heck wallpapers a closet? The thought hit her from out of nowhere. “Oh my God! Why would someone wallpaper a closet?” Maybe to cover something up, to hide it. Unless wallpapering closets was a common practice years ago, she believed she might have stumbled onto something.
She ran her hands across the wall, in search of anything that might feel funny—a bump under the paper, perhaps. Next she ran her fingers along the edges of the wood, when she realized that the wallpaper stopped where the cabinet began. She was no expert in wallpapering but she knew that people didn’t typically wallpaper around their furniture. Her heart sped up. She was onto something, she was sure. Why didn’t the wallpaper cover the entire wall? Because there’s a door behind it, that’s why.
As she continued feeling around the edges for something, anything, that might give her a clue, she started to feel a bit woozy. Her vision blurred, and everything went momentarily dark, as her mind slipped back into another time.
I slammed my bedroom door shut and rushed immediately to my private refuge. Since first discovering it, the attic room hidden behind the armoire in my closet had become the one place I could always escape to when things became too much to handle. Today definitely qualified. I love my sister, but ever since she started going to the same high school as me, nothing has been the same. Nobody should have to be overshadowed by their all-too-popular younger sister. It isn’t fair.
Clothing, hanging from racks that surrounded the large cabinet, carefully concealed the backside where the entrance to the stairway was. I slipped my fingers into the small space I always left between it and the wall, and pried it open. Once I got it started, it swung open with little effort. Then, turning the doorknob of the attic door, I pushed it open and looked up at attic stairs.
With a quick flash of light, the memory was gone. Keri blinked a few times to clear her head. The significance of the memory sunk in.
“Hinges,” she muttered. “The armoire is on hinges.” Carefully, she began pulling away the edges of the wallpaper in the areas where she expected she might find them. The old paper cracked and broke under her touch. She continued moving down the edges, gently peeling until she found what she was looking for. The hinges were set into the wall and wallpapered over to hide them. Wow. After all this time, I finally know.
Excited, she moved to the other side of the armoire, desperately trying to push it far enough from the wall to be able to get her fingers in. Where’s a crowbar when you need one? She obviously couldn’t go searching through the house at this time of night, assuming Gram even had one. And she couldn’t spot anything else in the closet that would work either.
Instead, she moved around to the front and stooped down, grabbing hold of the wooden bars that were still accessible from having removed the drawers. She pulled as hard as she could. The hinges creaked and she felt it give ever so slightly. She pulled again, harder, and the armoire gave a significant jolt.
“Yes!” Her heart skipped with the realization that she was one step closer to solving the mystery. When she returned to the back, she saw an opening about half a foot wide. She squeezed between it and gave the armoire another hard shove. It creaked and groaned under the effort. Beyond the opening hidden in the wall was a door. The door. Keri stepped forward and placed a hand on the knob. It felt warm to her touch and a tingling sensation worked its way up her arm and through her entire body. Just like the first time I touched the doorknob to Abby’s room. Whatever was beyond this door, it was important. It held some of the answers to the questions she had about her past, about who she was, who she is.
Not wasting any more time, Keri pushed open the door. The dim light from the closet cast a soft glow on the first few steps of the staircase ahead of her. Beyond that was darkness. She took a step toward the foot of the stairs and felt along the wall for a light switch.
There was none.
CHAPTER 3
“Damn,” Keri said, groping the wall one last time hoping there might be a switch. She couldn’t wait any longer. Lights or not, the draw of the attic room was too strong to deny. She took a few tentative steps forward, and placed a foot on the first step. It squeaked under her weight. With one hand trailing along the rough surface of the wall, she continued up and into the darkness, counting the steps as she went. After only five steps, she was shrouded in blackness.
The journey up the stairs felt overwhelmingly familiar to her. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her deepest memories. With a clear image ingrained in her brain, she continued, eyes pinched tight. Ten, eleven, twelve. If she was correct, she should be at the top. Lifting a foot, she tested for another step to be sure. There was none. So her memory—or the memory of whomever it was that she had been dreaming of—hadn’t failed her. Too bad she couldn’t see a damn thing.
Disappointed, she turned around and returned to the closet. There must be something I can use for light. Returning to her room, she plopped down on her bed and moaned. She looked up at Raggedy Ann and sighed. “It’s not fair. After all this searching, I find the room, and I can’t see a darn thing. I need a flashlight or a candle or something.”
The reality of what had just happened struck Keri. Her entire body shuddered. What did it all mean? She already knew that she had been reincarnated once. And she also knew the attic dreams were not Abby’s memories. She was certain of this because in those visions there was a sister, and Abby was an only child. Plus she’d discovered in Abby’s diaries that she’d had the same dream, but never did discover its location.
Since arriving at her grandmother’s house two months ago, Keri’s entire life had been turned upside down. It was crazy enough to know she had been her own sister, but to think that there might be more.... Gram had once told Keri that Keri’s own mother had noticed some incredible similarities between her dead sister, Caroline, and her daughter, Abby. Was it possible that Keri had been Caroline, too? There were enough clues that pointed to a very real possibility that she had been. But why? Why would her soul keep coming back?
Keri needed a smoke in the worst way. Rolling over, she slid out of bed and began rummaging through her nightstand looking for her cigarette.
My lighter! I can use it to light up the attic room a bit.
Her addiction could wait. Keri exuberantly snatched up the lighter and ran back toward the closet. It wouldn’t be bright, but at least it was something.
A knock at the bedroom door broke her determined stride. She stopped dead in her tracks, cursed silently, and spun around. “Yeah?”
“Morning, Keri,” Gram said in a bright voice. “Are you up? You have a visitor.”
“A visitor?”
“Adrian stopped by. He’d like to see you.”
Shit. Adrian had the worst timing in the world sometimes. She wanted desperately to get back at the attic, but how could she not see Adrian when she had the chance. “Um, yeah. Okay. Just tell him I’ll be about ten minutes. I’m not even dressed.”
“No problem, luv. I’ll keep him entertained until you come down.”
Quickly, Keri hurried into the closet. Pushing her body up against the armoire, she gave it a hard shove, and then another, and another until there was only an inch between it and the wall. She replaced the drawers, arranged the clothes so that they concealed anything that might look suspicious, turned off the light and shut the door.
There was no time for a shower, so she hastily dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Then she made her way to the bathroom, where she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and ripped a brush quickly through her hair. Inspecting her reflection in the mirror, her heart sank. She wasn’t a pretty sight. But it was the best she could do at such short notice. With a sigh, she went downstairs to meet Adrian.
“Hi,” Adrian said, when Keri joined him and Gram on the front porch. “I hope I didn’t get you out of bed.”
Keri shook her head. “Naw, I was awake.”
Gram patted Adrian on the knee and stood. “Well, I’ll just leave you two be,” she said and walked into the house.
Keri sat in the rocking chair that Gram had just vacated and looked at Adrian. “I have a pretty bad headache. I was just lying around.”
“Oh,” Adrian said, disheartened. “That’s too bad. I was kinda hoping we could hang out for a bit. I’ve hardly seen you at all this week.”
Keri was torn. Adrian wanted to hang out with her. It’s what she dreamed of every day. But the attic room called to her. It was just as important. Maybe even more so. Her life was so full of holes, and there was a very good chance that room held the answer to one of the many missing pieces of her life. Adrian would have to wait for another day. She glanced at the front door before turning her attention back to Adrian.
“Sorry, Adrian,” she said. And she meant it. “I really feel like garbage. My head’s pounding and my neck is killing me.” She rubbed it for effect. “I didn’t sleep much last night, either.”
Adrian nodded. “Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?”
Keri shook her head. “We’ve already talked about that. Nothing’s changed.”
“I don’t get why you’re being so stubborn. I can’t just stop hanging around with them because you don’t like them.”
“Nobody’s asking you to stop seeing your friends,” Keri said, defiance creeping into her voice. “But you can’t expect me to hang around with them either if I don’t want to.”
Sighing and shaking his head, Adrian rubbed his forehead and looked to the ground. “Why do you hate them so much?”
Keri huffed, and turned away. “Me? I don’t think I’m the problem. They don’t like me, Adrian. They don’t accept me and they never will.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know.” Keeping her eyes firmly averted from Adrian, Keri stood and walked toward the door. “I should get back to bed.”
Adrian followed Keri, placed a hand on her arm and turned her toward him. “Look at me,” he demanded.
She did.
“I’m not sure I buy the whole headache thing. Ever since I got here you’ve been fidgety and looking back at the house, like you want to get rid of me or something. If you don’t want me around, just tell me.”
Keri shook her head fervently. “That’s not it.”
Raising an eyebrow, Adrian said, “I wonder.” Before Keri could say another word, he turned and was gone.
The sinking feeling in Keri’s stomach hung with her long after Adrian had departed. I blew it with him again. Why did he have to show up here today, of all days? Now he’s all annoyed with me. I just can’t win with him no matter what I do.
She sighed, realizing there was nothing she could do about it now. With a flashlight she’d found in the kitchen pantry in hand, Keri started toward the stairs.
“Adrian gone already?”
Keri jumped at the unexpected sound of Gram’s voice. “Um, yeah,” she said, the flashlight hanging by a looped handle from her finger. Although she’d done nothing wrong, she couldn’t help but feel like she’d been caught red-handed. Guilt crept into her cheeks. Without thinking, she clasped her hands and the flashlight behind her back.
“He wasn’t here for very long.”
Keri shrugged. “My head hurts. I’m going to go lie down for a bit.”
“Lose something?” Gram asked.
“Huh?”
Gram nodded toward Keri. “The flashlight....”
Keri laughed awkwardly. “Oh, yeah,” she said, thinking quickly. “I ... uh ... I dropped an earring when I was getting ready before. I thought this might help. Anyway, I’m going to try to get some sleep.”
“Can I get you anything, dear?”
Keri shook her head. “No thanks. I’ve got everything I need.”
When she reached her room, Keri locked the door and wasted no time in returning to the attic room. As she stepped into the stairway, her heart pounded so hard it was almost painful. The handle she found on the back of the armoire allowed her to pull it toward her and seal the entrance. She aimed the flashlight up the stairs. This is it.
She practically ran up. The flashlight revealed an area of about 15ft by 20ft, mostly filled with boxes and several old chests. There was a rocking chair, an antique mirror, a roll top desk, and a small table with four chairs. Everything was loaded with a thick coating of dust and billowy cobwebs.
The image of an old Victorian oil lamp flashed into Keri’s mind. She pictured herself lighting the wick and using it to brighten the attic room. Once the vision was gone, Keri looked to her left to find the exact lamp she had envisioned sitting on the floor in the corner. One more piece of proof I’ve been here before.
Gently, she picked up the lamp, wishing she had her lighter on her, and brushed away some of the cobwebs. It felt familiar to her touch and sent a comforting warmth through her. Whoever she used to be when she came here, must have kept this lamp ready. She hoped the oil was still good.
Using the flashlight to illuminate her path, Keri walked the perimeter of the room, taking in as much as possible. She closed her eyes, trying to remember more; trying to remember what she might already know about the room or about the person whose memories she was experiencing. Several times she felt like she was on the brink of a memory, but each time it evaded her, just slightly beyond her grasp.
With so many chests to explore, she didn’t know where to begin. She wanted to see it all, every last detail of every last box, but realistically she knew it could take weeks or maybe even months to go through everything. As she stared from one end of the room to the other, she waited for a sign, something that might guide her to a particular item. She got no vibes from any of it. Instead, she randomly chose one of the chests nearest to her and knelt down in front of it. Still shining the light on it, she ran her finger through the dust, leaving a streak that revealed handpainted flowers. She rubbed a bit more and admired the detailed artwork before lifting the creaky lid.
Uncertain of what to expect, Keri held her breath as she peered into the trove of treasures. The eyes of an antique china doll stared back at her. She reached in and gently removed the toy, fingering the delicate yellowed lace of the dress. A musty odor drifted from the doll and filled her nose. She couldn’t even begin to guess how old it might be.
Setting the doll aside, she rummaged through the contents of the box. She found a silver brush and mirror set, a couple of very old dresses that looked like they came straight out of Gone With the Wind, and a tattered envelope that contained various mementos, some papers that might be letters and even a few photos. Her heart skipped. Some things that might give her a glimpse into the past—possibly her past!
Quickly deciding the flashlight wasn’t going to cut it, Keri removed the envelope from the chest so she could take it to her room and look through everything properly. Her hands trembled as she closed the lid. She almost had to laugh at herself for being so excited about a few ancient photos of people she didn’t even know. A few months ago, she wouldn’t have even given the pictures a second thought.
With the envelope in hand, Keri returned to her bedroom, fluffed her pillows against the headboard, and positioned herself comfortably against them. She emptied the contents of the envelope on her bed. Along with the photos, there were three locks of hair bound in ribbon. Her eyes glossed over the two chestnut brown ones and locked on the beautiful strawberry blonde ringlets. A quick flash of recognition hit her, but it was gone before she could be sure it had truly happened.
Keri turned her attention to the pictures and fanned them out in front of her. My ancestors. This is where I came from. The thought surprised her. But it was exactly what she was looking at. The house had been in her family since it was built over two hundred years ago. Whatever items or pictures where stashed away up in this attic had to have belonged to some family member from long ago. As she puzzled over who these people were, she found it kind of sad to think they’d been forgotten. She wondered if Gram might know who they were, but quickly dismissed the idea of asking, knowing she’d then have to explain how she came across the pictures in the first place.