TaraElla’s Way to Life
By TaraElla
Copyright 2010 TaraElla
Smashwords Edition
Part 1:
Live the Dreamer's Life
Chapter 1
Believe in Dreams, and Achieve your Dreams
Try to achieve your life's dreams - what you have always wanted to do all your life. This is doable, and indeed important for both yourself and the world. Here's why:
1) Your Dreams often Tell You What You were Made to be
As a species, we are each equipped with different strengths, so we can work together effectively. However, some sections of modern society have neglected this and instead demanded everyone to meet the same standards. This has created a hard life for many. If we want a world of good wellbeing, we need to recognise the facts and start recognising everyone's strengths and help them to use them to their best. Start with yourself - don't let the system tell you you are inferior. If you see other people affected by this, talk to them and make them feel better. And next time, when you can change or improve the system, remember to go by this philosophy.
Here's one thing that I cannot say enough of: you should never force yourself to be something you are not. I have found that, even if you tailor yourself painfully to fit something you are not, you will lose in the end, and bitterly, because you are not given a chance to escape whatever bitterness you got into since everyone thinks you must like it to get into it.
2) Most things are Possible, if only you Try
Most people have a whole catalogue of wishes they would classify as pure day-dreams. When they were young they probably thought they were not day-dreams. But years of being told otherwise and 'learning the hard way' has hardwired this behaviour into them.
But when you think of it, most dreams are quite achievable. These days you don't need much money to research and experience (at least to some extent) many cultures in the world. You can learn almost anything out there if you just get the right resources, which there are plenty out there. And just dedicating half an hour to each activity is enough to learn a lot long-term.
If you want to bring your dreams to the next level, if you want to be a recognised pro, then you will have to work at it - your craft, even if it is very good, takes time to get recognised, especially if it doesn't fit well with the set standards and perceptions out there. But then, don't give up here! Just achieving those dreams to a level that you find fulfilling (e.g. becoming some sort of expert) should be a drive to continue. Remember, many of the most recognised pro's have said that some of their best moments and best work are often some before they had become recognised - e.g. when an artist was a poor unknown or a band was playing in garages and pubs. Your current moment may be your defining moment - never give up too soon.
Chapter 2
Overcoming the Opposition to Dreaming
Overcoming Cynicism
The most important thing to do to be able to start dreaming again is to overcome cynicism. Cynics have always been around in history, and we all know that it isn't the happiest way to live. You never see great historical achievements made by cynics, nor have they come up with effective ways to wellbeing - it is the dreamers, even how unrealistic they sometimes are, that end up being successful in life. Yet why do we still get drawn to cynicism that much? It comes through failure.
Dreaming and keeping the dreams up require bravery. Dreams are tested by reality, harsh reality, and it is only those who can overcome these that can find the prize in the end. In this process, it can often seem that turning cynical and uncaring can be easier, in fact it is often much easier. In life, I have cried a lot for my dreams, did a lot of things that others have deemed useless, got my self-esteem destroyed many times. Yet I have found that whenever I gave up a little, the situation is even worse. When I give up my hope for the future - what is there to fight for? And then I become a robot in everyday life. Similarly, if I give up wanting this world to be better, then do I silently agree to condemn those disadvantaged people to be condemned forever?
This is enough for me to keep dreaming, no matter how hard it is.
The 'Scarcity Crisis' and how to Protect Yourself from Being Engulfed by It
There are so many crises facing people who just want a good everyday life today. But where are the crises actually? If we have a closer look at it, much of it relates to the stress from a system can't let everyone get hold of a certain something popular, or even if you are on board now, you may get kicked off later. This is based on something called the scarcity of resources by economists. It means that everybody can't have every material demand they want because production is limited. Examples include how, in economic bad weather, you may get a pay cut and be no longer able to afford brand name items, and so you drop off the 'fashionable' scene.
While the scarcity of certain resources is not very amenable, a satisfying life is not actually scarce. The vast majority of people in society already have the means to a satisfying lives, if they really put the thought to it. They just need to re-examine their needs. Basic human needs are food and shelter etc., and to be happy we need something more. But that does not necessarily come from a material life - in fact evidence has shown that a material life does not make one happy. The way to happiness is to, rather, define your dreams in terms of what you want to do / get out in life, and do it on your own terms, the only way in which nobody can ever stop you. If you define your life goals in terms of the material, not only does this not fulfill most dreams very well (most dreams are spiritual, but can get translated into material in some way, and busy city people who don't have enough time to think often do that), it also makes you much more vulnerable to the fact that even if society allows you on the 'rich bandwagon' now, it may not do so later.
Chapter 3
Myths Against the Dreamer's Life - Time to Bust Them
In this supposedly materially rich world, more and more people are in fact turning to the fast growing 'life is bad and we can do nothing about it' party. Why is that the case? Because something is missing from our lives, something essential, we are told. But what it this essential thing that we are missing?
The Key to Happiness
The key to happiness is not in gaining more and more material and money, as modern society has proven. Are we truly more happy than those who lived 50 or 100 years ago? Yes and no. If you are a career woman (like me) you would probably not be happy living in 1905. If you were gay and lived in 1955 - that's probably quite a good definition of hell. But those changes did not come from our material achievements. From our material achievements - yes they did provide some comfort, but not to a great extent. The only achievements that probably contributed to wellbeing a lot were a small percentage of the many things that happened - to name a few, advances in medicine, means of communication, and the mighty computer. A new brand of salad dressing may make our day once, but it cannot keep an individual happy for more than a few months, let alone make humankind happier for a long time.
What do the great achievements have in common, that a new brand of salad dressing does not have? The great achievements let us do more in life, the new salad dressing cannot do that. I believe that, as human beings we all have different strengths (and weaknesses may I add), and we are all born to achieve special tasks, things that can help the world greatly. The more we can do these effectively, the happier we will be, and the happier the world will be. Experts call this 'self actualisation'. But I believe that it is just common sense stuff. They say there is an Einstein, a Mozart, a Mandela, or equivalent, in each of us - it just needs to be discovered and promoted. This sounds cliche, but it's true. If you are asked to work like a robot instead, you won't be contented. Just like you won't be contented to lying around and running around like a dog does or chasing after cheese like a rat does every day - you know that it is not your job, and that is not the meaningful work for you.
So what is stopping us from achieving more of that? No one single thing is responsible, I believe, but a lot of myths that people have set up and accustomed to over the years. These myths we have collectively believed, and they are pervasive in our culture. If we break them, we will do ourselves some good, and yes, to the rest of the world some good too. If you help your friends break free from these myths, you will be doing some good for them too.
Now Let us start Busting the Myths that Stop you from Getting to Where you Should Be...
Big Myth Number One: Is Feeling Good Selfish?
Feeling good about yourself is the start of an enjoyable and productive life. I believe this is the most important thing that you can do to change your life around. And no, I don't count myself as selfish in thinking this. Without trying to feel good about yourself and the things you can do, you cannot realise your potential in life, and you will end up succumbing to the 'it's all because life is shitty' thoughts.
Feeling good starts from your mind. To believe you can do well in what you wish to, and to believe what you are doing is good, is the first step to feeling good. You don't need anybody to tell you that you are a worthy person. You just need to be confident that you are making a positive contribution to the world. But that feeling does not come with empty words or empty thoughts. What you need to do is to find out more about yourself, find your purpose in life, work hard for it and cherish it. More on this later.
They say a good feeling and goodwill is not forever. Sure, it's not, like any other thing, but you can make it last longer in life so that in most periods of your life you will be in this mood, and as a result you will be happy and productive throughout most of your life. The feeling will last if you try to remain hopeful in any situation and try hard to find a better way in the face of unduly unpleasant feeling (this is not to be confused with escapism), rather than just to 'acknowledge that life is supposed to be bad' - because that's not true. Just tell yourself that, and you only have to try that attitude a few times before it all makes sense. By that point you will have had past experiences to back you up so the attitude becomes automatic. But to make the first step, you need to change your attitude - deliberately.
Some people say that to live a life with the goal of feeling good is selfish. Well, I can't disagree more. If your definition of Feeling Good is all about getting drunk and hung over and dancing through till sunrise and sleeping through the day, then yes, that is selfish. But there is nothing more meaningful that trying to be optimistic about the world, and from that perspective trying to find the your work in your life that is meaningful and takes your unique experiences and abilities to benefit the people around you, or even the rest of the world.
Remaining fresh and happy is always more helpful than floating in a sea of decay. The option is all in your mind. So start your happy life today!
If only we all appreciated Feeling Good as a Common Goal...
...Then we would all be happier and more productive. Yes, more productive, and thus doing more things that can improve our lives collectively. These days it's all about productivity, in every single industry. But my experience tells me that, long term productivity can only come from a good feeling about life. Stress and deadlines can bring about short term adrenaline fueled productivity, but on the long run they wear everyone out.
Your feelings are usually useful signals. Taking good care of your body by listening to its signals is the first step to a comfortable life.
Though on the other hand, we all know that certain unrestrained desires can cause havoc in a modern society, like the urge to fight, hard-restraining them is an uphill battle and not a good way at all.
The key to looking after yourself is to understand what your mind/body needs and how you can usefully employ it. We can use it for putting people to their best use, something sometimes called 'human resource management' in the business world, and is very important for productivity. For example, those with a lot of 'physical energy' may participate in sport or physical work rather than sit couped up in the office and spend their weekends wanting to start a fight. If you happen to be a maths expert but poor in the languages, you would indeed do better to contribute to the scientific or engineering world than to spend your time in linguistics. These are perfectly apparent examples. But there are more subtle parallels in our everyday life that we often don't pay enough attention to. Like trying to stand up to pressure on you to do something that can only make you depressed on a long-term basis because it's 'good for you'. From my experience, 80% of the time it won't be good for you. Which brings me onto my next myth.
Big Myth Number Two: Follow Your Heart is Not Good for You
I don't know who made up this myth, but it is quite counter-intuitive. And maybe because of the idiosyncratic nature of the very statement itself, nobody actually states this myth aloud. But like my first myth, this one is quite pervasive in culture too. It often comes in ideas like to think about what is practical, 'the reality', and so forth. But while it may not really be a good idea to quit your day job just because you want to go to India for a month, having an ideal and working to it is a very noble thing to do, even if some parts of the ideal may not be very practical. Most inventions in this world wouldn't have come into being if everyone was 'practical' based. But somehow, everyone from our parents to 'productivity experts' tell us to 'stop wasting time daydreaming'.
Actually, I believe they are actually getting the opposite of what they want. Following Your Dreams serves two functions - one is that it helps us get towards doing what we ought to in life, as the process is driven by following what our minds tell us what we are passionate, comfortable and good at doing and what we are not. Those in the process of trying to do what they ought to also feel better about life, thus have a better physical and mental wellbeing. The other important function is that some things can only be dreamt of - like the great inventions of the world. If nobody ever followed their dreams, we would still be stuck in the forests, eating raw animals and dressed in leaves.
People say the phrase 'follow your heart' more and more these days but actually people, in many circumstances, may actually be following their hearts less and less. In the advent of advice being so plentiful and mistakes being so expensive, people consult more and think less. (Note that this book is not about advice really - it doesn't tell you what to do specifically, rather it tells of a lifestyle you can follow that will do you good and in the process do the world some good too.)
However, this is problematic. One can only think for oneself. Others' choices are often unsuitable and may even lead to unhappiness or potential not fully achieved. Therefore, when you are required to make a choice yourself, do it yourself!
Big Myth Number Three: You are Useless / Helpless
Big Myth Number Four: You are Not the One Destined to Change Things
I will consider these myths together as they are actually two forms of the same myth, aimed at everyday tasks and big dreams respectively.
Thinking that you are worthless or unessential? Thinking that there are too many people who are better than you? You are not alone, indeed. With so much of the two aforementioned myths going around, that is not surprising. But it's time to abolish these thoughts. It's time to abolish these thoughts because they stop you from dreaming. And we need to follow our dreams to do us justice and do the world good, remember?
Here's an exercise that can help some of us do that. Think of what you do best. Think of your presence, and what it can do to people. For example, by your presence you may be able to induce happiness, calmness, motivation etc. and the effect can be seen in every day life almost from the moment you start doing it. Think of the ideas you are good at thinking, at what they can do. (You really need to block out the 'they're useless' voices for this one - try to consider each of the ideas that you authored without considering practicability for this moment). Your ideas may also go a long way if you just dream. Think of what may happen if your ideas can go a long way. They are not so lame after all, are they? Think of what you do best. Everyone can do them, you may say. But really? Think of your presences and ideas PLUS your skills. You have got a mix that much fewer people have now. What can this mix do for the world? Think of your experiences, and what they can add to the mix? Your ideas are unique and so are your experiences, and therefore so are what they can contribute. Your presence conveys the ideas in a way that is uniquely yours. Your skills are what will help you achieve the tasks that lie ahead. They are all valuable and they are what make you valuable.
Big Myth Number Five: You Can't Be Happy for Very Long
There are times that come and you don't expect it. And there are also times that have gone and you miss so much. Many people I've met recently have been stuck in the latter situation. Symptom 1 is: They usually yell 'Wow, I'm bored'. Symptom 2 is a deteriorating efficiency at work. and Symptom 3 is deteriorating health, especially mentally.
As you can see, helplessness seems to be the common underlying theme here. The people here are all complaining that they can't help themselves. This feeling is fostered by a culture where you are expected to feel much less than well for significant periods of your life because, well, this is life. But this is just another one of those dirty myths. Wellbeing is our key to knowing that all is well with our mind and body, and thus a lack of wellbeing is a warning sign, not something to take for granted in life.
Ask yourself, what you would do in this situation? Sit there and do nothing? Let them get you? Let the growing shadow of darkness gradually engulf you? Or walk actively towards the source of the light? I would choose the latter, because it means I don't have to be engulfed.
For starters, many people help themselves by getting close enough to what they want to do. For example, if there are not enough parties around I will throw my own. If there is nothing to do I will create something for me and my friends to have fun with. If there is nothing special happening that day then it is time for me to do something about it. Starting by small things like having your friends sign an entry in your diary would be good. In short, the possibilities are endless.
But that's just the start. What we should do is to achieve a balance in our lives so that we don't need to fear going without wellbeing. And the balance should be automatic and inherent - you shouldn't need to chase after the 'next party' to feel well. We can only find that balance in time, but you should start working towards it today. How can you start? I believe that in finding that balance, finding what lets you have a sense of wellbeing and trying to do more of it is important. Your mind and body are good signals that tell of that - so listen to them, rather than dismiss them with a 'life is like that'.
Big Myth Number Six - You need to Change your Personality / Style
Ah, this is probably the most public and acceptable of all the myths out there today. There are whole books written on it, even a whole industry based on it. Apparently some personalities are bad and successful and effective people don't have them. As a result, if we want to be successful, we need to change our personalities to be like those who are successful.
But you can only say this if you ignore the vast range of personalities among the people who are successful in today's world. Bill Gates is widely known to not be the easiest to get along with, while Oprah Winfrey is much more supportive. There are obsessive people and relaxed people, creative people and robotic people, romantic people and practical people, who have all found success.
The key is not to change your personality, but to build on it, and avoid its bad side. Those people who succeed in doing this do well in life. They become the passionate, the analytical, the innovative and so on. Those people who don't become every negative type - the violent, the cynical, the unrealistic and so on.
The first step is to understand our personality, not reject it, because it is our greatest friend and our greatest foe at the same time. It is our greatest friend because it is one of the biggest tools in our toolbox to help us do what we are destined to, as showcased by the great masters of influence, from Oprah to Mandela to Clinton, who each have different personalities but are equally captivating. It is our greatest foe because if we get on the wrong side of it, it can really ruin our life, as seen in many sad cases in life (unnamed of course, but numerous) who have tried to do something that is really not for them and failed miserably (and hence why they are all unnamed).
Why are so many people in the world afraid of showing, let alone studying their personality? It is clear that they are afraid that they will not be accepted, because they do not have the 'perfect personality'. Worse, some of the atypical ones, those that are probably most destined for greatness due to their uniqueness, are afraid that to be different is to be a 'freak'. But this is an illusion! And, this should be clear when you have a look at the people that have succeeded in gaining popularity, setting trends, selling well or making a mark in the scheme of things. All of them are 'different'! Many of those who have made the greatest contributions are exactly those who were bullied at school because they were different, not those 'perfect' types you find in management books. Sadly, other 'different' people have instead gone and wasted their lives on withdrawing from life or even becoming a real pest to society (much to the delight of those who want to prove the 'perfect personality' theories), because they just can't see this. But clearly, the choice is up to you.
The world needs every personality, just not any one of them in their bad or toxic forms. If everybody were about the same, and nobody bothered to create their own 'brand', the world would be standing still and there will be virtually no big progresses in all areas of life. So, my advice is, cherish your 'difference' and use it well!
Chapter 4
Building that Dreamer's Life
They all say that it is the little changes in life that count. And it is true! Big changes are hard to make, and are often accumulations of small changes anyway. So starting with the small changes is the way to go, usually.
Make just a little change in life today, and you may be onto something already. It can make a great difference! It may be that you are tired of your routine trips. Try to catch the alternative bus if you can afford to be home 10 minutes later! You may think it's just a trip, so what etc. But that trip may inspire you and refresh you so you can do better work.
It may be that your surroundings bore you. If so, change them! Change your decorations around or add 1 or 2 items here and there to make your working/living space feel somewhat different may just give you that energy boost you need. It may be that your neighborhood is too familiar. Shop in another part of town, perhaps on the way home!
These are just some things that you may not need to be any richer than you are now to do.
People can Dream, Machines Cannot. Therefore:
The Most Important Change - Stop Being a Machine.
People nowadays often comment on how the people around them are becoming more and more like machines. Is that actually true? Probably yes, probably no. But a large part of what they are referring to is the fact that the world is becoming more and more impersonal.
Some blame it on the technology proliferating in our world. Is there a problem with this? Actually no, since the machines themselves are becoming more and more 'human'. Also, machines are just tools, and used well they can actually assist in interpersonal relationships, as some who have used internet dating have found out.
But why are some of us living as machines then? By choice or coercion, probably more by choice than coercion actually.
Let's look at the main difference between humans and machines. Humans have these superior qualities:
1) Humans can think for themselves.
2) Humans can act outside a previously set of instructions.
3) Humans have much higher fault tolerance.
Machines are much more productive, however. Imagine how many more people a company will have to use to do the same tasks if they did not have computers? They are productive because they are designed to do the same things over and over again, without the need to think at all. You would imagine that if people did the thinking, and machines worked on the 'productivity', then everything should be good. Also, if humans became machines then nobody would be doing any thinking, and we would have productivity for nothing. Therefore, it follows that now that machines can do the 'boring stuff', humans should actually become more human to maximize the productivity.
However, the problem is that, within many companies there exist mundane tasks that are require a bit of intelligence and hence can't be done properly by a computer, yet don't really require much human thinking. In short, they require a human working like a machine to complete. And in the current structure of our society, such work is numerous.
This problem will only go away with social restructuring, which I guess will happen in the next few decades. But for now, if you have to mainly do such humans-as-machines work during the day, it is up to you to maintain your complete, thinking humanness in other parts of your life. If you really put effort into doing so, you will do yourself some good, as you will be able to understand yourself better (a human attribute), and therefore choose things for yourself wiser. You will also be doing the world some good by helping to make it more human.
In conclusion, the answer to 'are you living as a machine' is that of a choice (with you), like all other lifestyle questions. Also, remember not to coerce others into becoming machines by giving them overloaded, mechanical tasks. And most of all, remember to be tolerant of faults.
You Only Know Your Dreams if you Express Them, so
Be High on Self Expression
Talking about thinking humans and the importance of understanding yourself, self expression is something that is good for you in both these goals. It is important for self understanding and establishing your identity, which is an important step to finding out who you actually are and hence what you need in life and what your work in life is. It is also a way of valuing yourself as a special and valuable individual - if you can do this well, you are less vulnerable to the cynical forces of the world that try to tear people apart all the time.
Self expression does not require a lot of effort.
It can be your (regular/irregular) personal movies/books/music chart
It can be a point form record of your day's highlights
It can be your to-do list for the day (how amazing it will seem like to read in a years' time!)
It can be a piece of random writing you felt like doing on the train
It can be what you wrote on a note a friend gave you, after reading it
It can be......
It can be......endless, and
It can be a collection of all of these.
And the good news is, it is easy to start today!
Start Paying Attention to Your Own Concerns
There really is an unhealthy culture of self sacrifice out there. I think it probably originated from the idea that if everyone puts in their share of work and dedication, then the work will be done more productively. Which is true indeed, but this idea has really gone too far nowadays. When people raise concerns, they can be seen to be distracting everybody from 'real work', or worse, putting up a challenge to the status quo where 'everyone is happy'. It is this culture that has led to many people learning to suppress their concerns down to just existing in the 'subconscious', leaving the conscious mind for 'more important things'.
What's wrong with this is that most human concern actually point to sources of discomfort, and if these are not dealt with well then they can lead to chronic misery or conflict, meaning that people will toil on without a purpose, living in misery and not being very productive either. It is in this culture that people cease to question if their lifestyles are good for their health, mental or physical. So many big 'public health problems' could be prevented if people just slowed down and... thought about their concerns.
Therefore, we need to unlearn this culture. Don't let people drown out your concerns, for they do matter. Through your concerns you may see something that past people haven't. Have a questioning mind to the beliefs out there, and how things are done, even if they are 'traditionally accepted' (I am not a big fan of this idea at all, as you can see). All that out there may not really be right, and concepts are often contaminated by centuries of brainwashing, right?
Because this culture of suppression is so prevalent, you may actually find people trying to train it back into you. Keep it out at all costs, now that you know it is not doing you any good. Keep your humility and clear head though, and remember to be calm in the face of 'the world collapsing upon you'. That way, you will sail through the storms that an 'aware person' unfortunately needs to deal with in this suppressive culture.
Reviews help bring out hidden wishes, so
Let's Start a Life Review Too!
It is helpful to realize what you really want in life, and from there not only will you start making better decisions for yourself, you may also gain more than a little bit of insight into what your work in life really is.
Start a life review today to map out all your dreams and wishes, dissatisfactions, and other ideas, and start finding easy and practicable ways to deal with them.
If you feel that you are not living comfortably, or are unable to do the things you feel you should try and map out your discomforts. Then try to find out the reasons behind them (remember, knowledge is strength). Think of plans which are practicable to get yourself into a more comfortable life.
If you feel that you are going nowhere in life, then you can map out your strengths and weaknesses, and what you want to do and where you want to go in life. Then think about how to put these into the life you are having now. Remember, sometimes there may not need to be that much disruption to reach a goal, if you try to fit it in the right way. While I do not believe that a four hour working week is really practical for most people, I really like how the book The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss tries to fulfill wishes and make people 'rich' by breaking the 'dream life' into little digestible pieces.
If you feel that you are not enjoying life, then you are probably not liking the things 'you have to do' in life. Start by thinking of a list of activities you would like to do. And try to fit them into your life. Also, add plenty of variation/events to your life routine if you are feeling too bored/tied down.
Just remember, when trying to change things around. Do not take too big a step at a point. Start with the more feasible changes that also give you the most significant results first. Also, remember that thinking that 'you can do it' is the key to putting the review to work.
The world around you isn't always a Dreamy Place, so
Try Very Hard to Maintain Your Space
Try very hard to maintain your space. This includes time to be yourself, express yourself, explore, and the confidence to be yourself and the fresh mind to explore. When you take care of your own space, and everyone else does the same, we will be a friendly and spacious community.
People who don't take effort to consciously maintain their space will find their space being gradually quashed by the events and 'duties' surrounding them. They will no longer be able to think for themselves or do meaningful things just for themselves, and thus they will become a machine and a concern suppressor without choice. And there are indeed many 'incentives' to give up your space in this numbers driven world, which explains why many people actually happily give up their space. But don't give into this 'temptation' - your space is worth more than any set of numbers they can bribe you with.
Chapter 5
Making Dreams Possible for Everyone
ReDefining success
Success is so hard to achieve, especially in the modern times, when once you get there, everyone else seems to be there too, and so you remain average no matter how much effort you put into things. In this climate, a lot of us end up becoming perpetually greedy and unhappy people.
There is a better way. I believe that everyone comes to this Earth with a particular set of skills and 'magic' that is their own, and everyone should be able to use this magic well in their lives. The important task for everyone is to find their work in life, and work at it, and it will be for the better of both that person and everyone else. I believe a system to encourage individuals to start doing that is important, but as such a system is still being set up, individuals themselves who get this message now will have to work hard to find their own way.
Working for a Chance for Everyone
Everyone deserves a chance to do what they want to do for the world, really. The world also deserves to receive the goodwill of everyone willing to give their best to contribute. That's just the way it should be.
Chapter 6
For Harder Times
You can Get It
Have you often thought that something is so out of reach you will never get there? Well, often there are many ways to arrange things to suit your goals better, if you will just think about it. For example, if you feel very isolated from the rest of the world, reading some internet news or personal websites may work. A simple gathering can be the start of big things. Just don't give up, even when your (and others') pessimistic sides kick in.
Don't panic!
Nowadays everyone in the world seem to be panicking too much, and as a result irrational decisions are taken, the principles that drive our actions are often compromised, and the things that we have built and cherished for so long are gone before we know it. So, everyone who wants to change things around, please keep a cool mind, think clearly and only then act after that, act on rationality and not on fear.
What's Good is not just Somebody's Version of What's Good, Remember
If you want to do something to improve situations, don't let your constructive thought be destroyed by the endless coils of judgment out there. You too can decide base on your understanding of things. And they don't have a right to slam you down as long as you are not hurting others or taking others' rights away.
Keep the Dream Alive
Many young people, especially teenagers, believe they can change the world, and that one day they will be famous, and own a great lifestyle. However, equally many 30-somethings (I haven't reached that stage yet, but I have read) sigh at how 'average' their lives have become. What caused that transition? What killed the dream? And how can we bring back the dream in time, before we age too much to forget it?
Feeling Guilty
Feeling Guilty has a purpose in preventing you from making errors. However it does nothing much otherwise. It interferes with a good life in excess.
Learn the lesson so that you do not commit the error again. However, move on after that.
At least, thinking positively, if you can almost do one similar good thing for everything error you made, than you would have helped improve this world.
Affected by Tribalism?
Does this (or even he/she) belong to this faction? That fad? Those kinds of culture? Ultimately, we all belong together in this one world, so lets put these silly labels aside whenever they obstruct the path to this truth. Use the best of this world, and care for everyone. Try to appreciate everything you can, and don't be arrogant over that you don't understand. Today you may think something's wrong, tomorrow it may fit.
Get through the times together
Though we should never be dependent on it, most of us will do better when we have each other to support us through various times. Therefore, activities to bring us together in this aim is good. There are various places that do this already. Better still, however, is to put this out in everyday situations, and in situations where people are not 'tribalised/restricted' (i.e. probably generally groups of friends rather than special groups). Also, extend this to the wider community, also non-judgementally. That is why it is good to see 'popular role models' donate to various causes, from disadvantaged ghettos to discriminated minorities. This type of activity is definitely better than endless meaningless boozing and offending.
Part 2:
Happy Life Philosophy
Chapter 1
Envisioning a Beautiful World
You just have to believe whatever vision you dream of, as long as it is good for people. Don't let the outside cynical world get you down.
Dreaming up Something Great...
To me, the opportunities for dreaming is the best thing about pop culture. This culture of dreaming has been behind some of the biggest legends in history, and has brought to the forefront some very important ideas, eg. the peace movement, equal opportunities for minorities. Without these things happening, where would we be now?
On a more personal level, dreaming means that you will never give up in getting what you want and this means yor will never give up on yourself or the possibility of a beautiful life. This is important to keep brilliant minds going in times of hardship.
So I think it's important that we celebrate, and whenever possible, contribute to the culture of dreaming.
Find your own Wonderland
I believe that we should wake up every day trying to find our wonderland for that day.
First I think about what I want to do. Feeling like doing something meaningful? You can either search through the traditions and try to find something there, or try some of the new things that people are working on. More importantly, if the things they do out there aren't really right for you, then feel free to use your insight and creativity to make it better. Do believe in yourself, for you too can be a great contributor to this world!
Then I would try to get into the right mood. Working in a good environment is an important thing that can stimulate your mind, make tough work less so, and make your day brighter. Different types of environments (or even images) you can go to to suit your mood of the day. Music is also an important tool for this exercise.
Finally I would try to find the right people. People who will be friends no matter what, people who share your interests, and people who can be physically around you so that you don't feel like a robot in a lab, in that order. The first one is probably a hard find, but is always worth trying, the second is easy with modern technology, the third isn't so hard either.
I Already Have a Lot
'The Reality' is almost always one of the things that stop us from getting what we want, isn't it? Why is that ? Does it have to be this way?
We often say that we don't have this or don't have that, and this largely make up 'the reality' that we talk about so often. But does what we don't have really stop us from our goals? Often there is more than one way to achieve a goal, so while not having certain things can stop us from using one particular path, it cannot stop us from going for our goal altogether. What we need to do is to look at what we have got, how we can effectively paste together a path to get it with the resources that we have, not with the resources that we can't have.
It may not ever be a path that others have found, but that doesn't mean that it will not be successful. Otherwise we wouldn't have pioneers!
Beautiful Things...
Making the room that you sleep in the paradise that you dream of, with items or pictures reminding you of the things that you like can really make a big difference to life. It can make you start with a better mood, give you a better day, and put more inspirations into your head. So try it today.
Chapter 2
Living Life to the Fullest
Wake Up to Real life!
How many people are resigned to reading about others' dreams in the paper or watching it on TV? There must be many out there, seeing the numbers excited by reality TV compared with those really trying every bit of their existence to achieve their dreams.
But we can change things. To start, start daydreaming - this thing that we were often discouraged from doing from when we were in school. Come out of feeling inferior, something that may have been instilled into you from a very young age but certainly not coming from inside you. Use flexible thinking to circumvent unhealthy hierarchies telling you that you are nothing - this is wrong because you have a brain just like the people who invented these myths. Then you will have made a good start.
Ending A Culture of Inferiority
The concept of knowing our place and not hoping for better fray sound outdated enough to most of you, I think. However, it is still being hammered into us all the time. Like we are supposed to know that there are those who deserve to have much richer lives than us, or that the red carpeters are supposed to enjoy interesting lives we can never have. Well, I refuse to listen to any of this. At the end of the day I believe I can create the life I want. It is not my fault that the world is arranged in such an inequitable way, but at the same l don't have to obey this absurd order that seems to fly in the face of everyone being equal. We all have to remember this: dollars are just tokens, tools, and they are not the only tools we have to make things happen in this world. Creativity, your mind, is an even more important tool.
The Spirit of Real Life
The Spirit of Real Life is spontaneously loving, curious rather than fault finding, and free from harmful man-made rules. Discrimination and bigotry can only take us further away from looking objectively, further away from finding about the truths of this world, and further from the true spirit of real life. It takes us further from love, compassion and a better life for all, and nearer to thought of destruction, and worshiping of harmful man-made rules. Therefore it should be avoided at all costs.
Chapter 3
You Are the Voice
The Unique Voice
Most of the red-carpeters out there are so similar to each other, and (sadly) that set of things they all do becomes the hot thing of the day. It's sad because although we see so many faces, we don't get nearly as much inspiration or learn nearly as much about the world. Maybe that's because of commercialisation - everyone is instructed by their companies to do what brings in money. But in the end, it's always the unique voices that contribute, that are remembered. Think about the last few decades. How many 'original legends' can you remember, even if they were poor to begin with? And how many of those 'Copycats' do you know, even if they brought in the cash relatively quickly?
So try to be a unique voice, even though everyone is chasing the hot thing.
Inspiration to Create Something New
So many of the great additions to our world from the past few decades all actually came from simple ideas. Some people borrowed traditions from other cultures, others just believed in their little ideas that just came out of their mind. Technology itself often creates new inspiration too. But most importantly, the dreams, the ideas that we can have a better life, was what changed everything. We can all do with a bit more of those, I think.
Now do you have inspiration?
Upholding your Clan for the World to See
The first black university student. The first Aboriginal pop star. The first woman in parliament. What do they have in common? They showed us that their type is worthy of everybody's admiration too. They showed us that they can be successful without hiding or being ashamed of who they are. They showed us that what they are can even bring some advantages both to them and to the world in some situations. They were strong, have tried very hard to get there, and their success is more than just their own.
Now you too can be doing this in life. In your everyday life, besides trying your best to do whatever you are good at, don't forget the things that you are that society doesn't think is so glamourous as yet. For a start, stop being ashamed of who you are. Now, be braver and dig up the things that you are that society seem to misunderstand. Try to think of reasons to be proud about them, and put them in your heart. When it comes to your time to cross the finishing line, you can just show everyone how proud you are. That way, your achievement won't just be your personal feat, and it will not be in vain.
The Creation of an Example
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade," so goes the saying. But how many of us can actually do that? And why can't we do that all the time?
I think one of the main factors is that we care too much about how other people see things. For example, if you are a poor artist that can do nothing much about your life except using the cheapest materials for your work, you are quietly likely to be seen as a nobody by many people. This causes a lot of people to just give up. Worse, throughout history certain groups, like people of some ethnic backgrounds or with certain medical conditions, were discriminated against and were expected to remain within an inhumane boundary that forever limits their potential. Those who try to escape this boundary not only faced tremendous hardship, they were even told that they were delinquent and even evil. No wonder under these myths and perceptions there were so few that could do it. Coming back to our point, if we believe it when others tell that our lives are crap and hopeless, we will act like this is the truth, and will not be able to move forward on anything. Rather, we should have a look at what we've actually got and what we can actually do about things. Maybe then, you will be able to do something brilliant.
Truly a Superwoman
She admired the Superwomen
For all that they could do.
And she got all her energy
From the inspiration they gave.
Miss Cata was someone like that, she thought,
Someone that had been an inspiration all along,
But Miss Cata let her down
Cata was not the ideal she was thinking of
All that time.
She bullied for her own gain,
And never helped others up.
What she did look glamorous,
But it was actually harm.
Now she has her own Superwoman life,
She swore to be never like Cata.
Doing good is even more important than looking good,
And that's her mantra, every day.
She is a real Superwoman,
Unlike Miss Cata.
Chapter 4
Ways Out of Hard Places
New Paths are the Best Paths Sometimes
So you want to do something. You've found out the tried and loved path to it. But then you see too many already successful people on the path struggling to make it, and also find it hard to get an access. What do you do?
You find a new path, of course. All paths are found by people, and if the existing one is so hard to use, why not use a new one? New legends running on the express lane often use a new path, and that's the secret of their success, after all.
Picking Yourself Up Again
Feeling down and hopeless from time to time is something most of us cannot avoid. But letting this feeling stay in our system for too long will damage us, and prevent us from effectively going for our dreams. So we need to learn to pick ourselves up again.
The first thing I ask myself is, is it really that hopeless now? Isn't there just the little glimpse of hope somewhere in my vicinity that I can just pick up, and run miles ahead? Often there is. Even if there is not something that you can see, you can start using your imagination, to join up some of the dots in your life, and see if come interesting combination comes up. Often that is enough to give you some new inspiration to keep you going.
Just remember that, in life the run to victory often start from a trough, and when you have gained enough momentum to come out of the trough you often will already have enough momentum to cross the finishing line.
The fine line between Rejects and Stars
Stars and rejects share one thing: they are both different. It is not surprising that stars were often rejects before they became liked. Therefore, every reject has to remember that, like stars, they may have a great deal to bring to the world, and what they have to do is to start believing in themselves. They also should try to connect with the outside world while remaining unique because that's the only way they may be able to bring their something new out there. These two strategies are often what commercial people to being previously unspectacular things to the forefront, and maybe it is time for all of us to start harnessing them.
Start Moving Away from Hurt
How much hurt are we creating for ourselves? You only have to watch the news to know. Wars, terror, people making others lose, people putting down other people are all man made.
Why isn't finding a cure to all of this at the top of the international agenda yet? Is it too hard? No, in fact it can begin in any individual, it's as easy as becoming conscious not to do those things from today.