UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE
It
was a stroke of genius when George Costanza looked at his life and
decided, there and then, to do the exact opposite of everything he
had done before; "Jerry... It's just not workin.'" And
with that, he decided to change everything. “Nothing’s ever
worked for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of
tuna on toast... chicken salad on rye, untoasted with a side of
potato salad and a cup of tea!”
The above scenario occurred
in a Seinfeld episode and although I wouldn’t say that I took SUCH
extreme measures in my own life, I did decide to step out of my
comfort zone. I took a look at what I liked in my life and where I
wanted to be.
You
see, my life consisted of following the rules set by my parents,
going to school, getting a good education, getting a reliable job -
in my case, working in insurance and working my way up the corporate
ladder. For over nine years, I moved from rung to rung in my career
in insurance, stuck in a corner office. Could I say that I was
entirely happy? Well, I wasn’t unhappy. I had a good work
environment, good friends, was well paid, but I seemed to be getting
older without creating any experiences that I could look back on.
There was a steady paycheck, a routine that I could live
with, but something was missing. I think it was a sense of
adventure.
I
think my first foray into doing the opposite came upon reading the
book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kyosaki. He asked the
question was everything we were told in fact a lie? Do we really need
to follow the rules and the safe route in life?
It
was exactly ten years ago when I decided to break the rules, take
some chances and live my unconventional life, as I affectionally call
it. It's about not following the herd mentality and I wish I had
found the courage to do it sooner.
You
see, when you've got a mortgage, debts to pay, it takes courage to go
without that reliable paycheck.
I've
had to get out of my comfort zone and think on my feet to create my
own salary. I've been involved in a number of business ventures, from
starting my own investigation company, to running an importing
business, to becoming a cartoonist, running an entertainment agency
and, finally, becoming a worldwide traveling entertainer.
It's
been a journey in chasing freedom, following my passions and to live
the life that I wanted. To set my own hours, to do what I wanted,
when I wanted. To gain that same security that I had when I worked in
an office, but also create some fun in my life.
I’ve now
turned my business into an ongoing adventure. I've gone from working
in a corner office at work, to performing in front of thousands at
glitzy events around the world. And it’s a great ride.
After
a recent show in which I performed for 400 people all dressed in
black tie and elegant gowns, a lady in her fifties came up to me and
said “You have got to be the most unlikely person to be
entertaining”. “How so?” I responded. “Well you don’t
dress like an artist, you’re down to earth and don’t have an
ego.. but your art was fantastic. And you don’t act like a
comedian, but your show was hilarious. You DON”T LOOK AT ALL like
an entertainer (as she touched my paint stained collared dress
shirt), but that’s the best show I’ve seen in 20 years!”
It
was probably the best compliment I’ve had and come to think of it,
this lady was spot on and that is precisely the reaction I am going
for in life and in business. A big point of difference. I
want to be a trailblazer.
A
trailblazer by definition is an innovative leader or pioneer in a
particular field.
I
think we all have it in us to ‘blaze a trail’. It’s about
being different, giving things a go, living your passion and working
hard to make it happen.
Let me now share with you some of the
fun adventures I've had, some lessons I've picked up along the way
and the journey I went on to become an unconventional entertainer.
So come join me for the ride. Let’s be trailblazers.
TALENT WITH NO SUCCESS
In
2007 I found myself sitting in the green room of Channel 7 studios in
Melbourne, Australia. There were about 30 people in the room ranging
from 5 years old to about 70. Channel 7 had flown us in for the
first season and the very first episode of “Australia’s Got
Talent”. They were hoping to emulate the success of the chain of
“Got Talent” shows from around the world.
Looking about
the place, there were kids getting dressed up in angel costumes, an
older gentlemen playing the gum leaf, and a bunch of teenagers doing
handstands. With no prior knowledge of the show I wondered to myself
what on earth I had got myself into. I was already performing my
shows in front of a corporate audience and really didn’t want to be
seen in a bad light on national television with a bunch of amateurs.
I had heard that the judge was “Red Symons” and having seen him
on ‘Hey Hey it’s Saturday’ in the 1980’s and 90’s, I knew
he was there to put down contestants (the US version is Simon
Cowell). Anyway, we all sat waiting in the green room waiting for
the executive producer of the show to brief us.
An
Asian guy approached me – he was about 50 years and wearing normal
clothing – a collared shirt and pants. He asked me “And what do
you a-do?”. I explained to him that I paint really fast. We got
talking about our different backgrounds and he explained to me in his
broken English – or Engrigh as some people call it, that he “makes
a party trick.”. It turned out that he also performed
professionally in Sydney for over twenty years, but only at Chinese
events. He explained that business wasn’t all that good. I asked
him for a business card, he had nothing. I asked him for his
website, he had none. He offered me his phone number. How good could
this guy be, I thought to myself.
Anyway, he offered to show
me a trick and, with that, pulled a small metal ball from his pocket.
It was about the size of half a tic-tac. He opened up his mouth
wide and placed the small metal ball on his tongue. Now I am pretty
handy with sleight of hand magic – I’ve worked as a magician at
events and I know all about invisible thread, magnets and pulls that
he could have used. However, with his hands behind his back, he then
swallowed the ball.
At this point he opened up his mouth for investigation to show that the ball was indeed swallowed. A few of the teenagers ceased doing their handstands and joined me in looking into his mouth, searching for the ball. It was clearly gone.
The
Asian guy then turned to me and said in his broken Engrish “And of
which hole do you want the ball to come from?”. Despite the
teenagers yelling out “Arse!” I took the safe option and thought
I would trick him, I replied “From your eye”. Looking like he
had done this a thousand times he looked at me and said “And which
eye, left or right?”. “Left eye” I replied.
The
Asian guy inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He then brought his
left index finger to just above his left ear. He made a motioning
movement as he seemingly pushed forward the skin between his ear and
his temple with his index finger.
Now I don’t know if I was
seeing things or not - but this day I could have sworn I saw a metal
lump under his skin moving from his temple down to his eye socket.
The Asian guy then made a blinking motion and, lo and behold that,
little metal ball could be visibly seen in the corner of his eye. At
this point he had captured the interest of most of the people in the
room. The crowd went wild.
He
leant over and the ball fell from his eyeball into his outstretched
cusped hands. He was on a roll, and his little show was clearly not
over. He looked around the room and walked over to a small coffee
table. He emptied a bunch of minties and fantales out of a small
white bowl and came back to the crowd with the bowl.
Now most
Asians I have ever met are pretty shy, but this guy was clearly quite
the entertainer. He took off his shirt, exposing his bare chest. He
then inhaled and made a weird Chinese noise, one like you may have
heard in a ninja movie during the fight scenes!. He then placed the
white bowl onto the upper part of his stomach and, quite
miraculously, it stayed there.
By this stage the whole
audience in the green room was watching him and he announced “Anyone
can try to move the bowl”. The only condition was that you could
not stick your fingers underneath and rip it off.
One by one
the teenagers had the first shot, they pushed downwards, leftwards,
rightwards without even moving the bowl. Then it was my turn.
As
I stood to his right, I had another guy in the green room stand to
the Asian guy's left to act as a counter weight, so that I could
really have a crack at it. I pushed onto that bowl as hard as I
could. It was like playing tug of war- in reverse!. I pushed the
bowl and the Asian and the other guy tried to hold still.
Despite
me sending them both off-balance the bowl remained suctioned to the
Asian guys stomach, it was absolutely amazing.
At this point
the Asian guy made his weird ninja noise again and reached up
casually and took the bowl from his stomach as if it was nothing. We
were still all applauding as he put the minties and fantales back
into the bowl and the executive producer of the show entered into the
green room.
The next day was the filming of the first show and
there I was in the makeup rooms. Being bald, most TV shows pad my
head down with some type of make up so my scone doesn’t shine too
much on TV. I don’t mind, actually it feels relaxing – so here I
was, sitting back, watching a TV monitor in the makeup room which was
showing a live recording of what was happening on the stage. Out
walked the Asian guy onto the stage.
He walked out in a
traditional Chinese dress carrying a serving dish with eggs and some
cups. He placed four of the eight eggs into holders so the eggs
stood vertically in a square pattern. He did the same with the other
four eggs. As the music started, he calmly took off his shoes and
slowly balanced himself, one foot at a time, on top the eggs.
As
he brought his second foot up, he was clearly seen to be standing
with each foot flat on all four eggs. The audience stood up and gave
him a round of applause, whilst my make up lady remained unconvinced.
She said “Oh they must be fake, or they’re hard boiled, or
something”. Knowing what this guy was capable of, I just smiled as
one by one, the Asian guy broke open the eggs into the empty glass,
proving that they were just normal eggs.
Immediately the make
up lady exclaimed “That was unbelievable”. “Yep” I responded
“and you should have seen what he was doing in the green
room!”.
She said to me “What was his name again?”. Can’t
remember I said.
This
may sound obvious, but RULE NUMBER 1: GET YOURSELF SOME DECENT
MARKETING.
Word
of mouth is fantastic, but without that business card from that Asian
performer, I have nothing to show you. I haven’t heard of him
anywhere since. He was known only in the small Chinese community and
has probably stayed that way. What a shame.
I’ve told
plenty of people that story and I really wish I could show them a
video. But all the talk in the world doesn’t mean anything to him,
because I cannot show them his website. I’ve searched for him on
the internet and cannot locate him either.
It amazes me some
of the other entertainers and bands that I come across that do not
carry a business card and/or have a promotional video on their
website. Crazy! Why would I hire you if you can’t prove to me
what you can do for me?
The same really goes for any
occupation – let’s take a landscaper for example. How would you
hire a landscaper? Well, on your website, I don’t just want your
contact details. I want to see EVIDENCE of the work you have
completed successfully, how about before and after photographs of
amazing transformations. Give me at least 5 case studies.
I’ll
go even further – give me a time-lapse video of your project, along
with a testimonial from your clients. Convince me that I have to buy
from you. Give me a guarantee that you can do it quicker, quieter,
without mess, without interruption. Give me the evidence, give me a
guarantee and I would happily pay you a premium for your expertise.
You see, on the road to becoming a trailblazer, you firstly
need to show me that you are the expert in your field and this is
accomplished with essential marketing in place.
TREAT
PEOPLE AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
A
few years ago, one of my businesses, Red Faces
Caricatures,
won the contract for a bunch of caricature gigs around Australia in
pubs and clubs for Suntory, a large alcohol company. For those that
are unaware what a caricature is, it’s a drawing of a person that
distorts the noticeable characteristics of that person. The idea was
that if people tried one of their brands, they would receive a free
caricature of themselves.
The gigs were a lot of fun, we did
over 400 venues from casinos, pubs, nightclubs and everywhere
in-between. There were about 30 artists involved, however, my
fondest memory was from a job that I personally did on a lazy Sunday
afternoon in Newtown.
Newtown is located in Sydney’s inner
west, and is known for its diversity - restaurants, comedy spots and
perhaps most of all, the lesbian and gay community. I rocked up at
the Marlborough Hotel where they were promoting the whisky. I was
ready to draw some funny faces.
It turned out to be just the
right time – within five minutes the place was packed, it turns out
that a girl was having her 30th
birthday and had invited all of her lesbian and gay friends.
Awesome, should be a busy afternoon!
Now I tell you, that
afternoon, I was absolutely flat chat! I couldn’t have wished it
any better! They loved the whisky and they loved getting their
‘free’ picture drawn. You see, as a cartoonist I have a set
formula of drawing couples. I’ll draw the female on the left of the
paper about half way down and I’ll draw the male on the right of
the paper about two inches above her. Having the heads at different
heights makes for a more stylised drawing.
So I stuck with the
same formula, albeit with some changes. With lesbians, I could often
tell who was the ‘male’ in the relationship. Think Portia de
Rossi and Ellen. You have the one person as the female lesbian –long
hair, dress, a full face of makeup (ie. Portia) and then you have the
male lesbian – short hair, more likely to be wearing jeans and
converse shoes (ie. Ellen). As couples came up together to have
their drawings done, I really couldn’t believe just how easy it was
to spot who was the female/male lesbian’s in the relationship. So
true to form, I would place the female on the left and the male on
the right...
As I worked my way through the stack of drawings,
my next in line was a female at the party. She had forked out the
money for a drink which she didn’t really want, but she wanted a
picture of her friend “Sally” who was standing behind her. “No
worries” I said, “have her take a seat.”
As she moved
out of the way, I saw who Sally was. Sally was about 115 kilograms
(about 250 pound), dressed in something pink (sorry I can’t
remember), with big shoulders, thin lips and a blonde wig. I could
clearly see that bluish tinge on her face, where “Sally” had just
shaven – yes Sally was the first transvestite I had ever drawn.
Sally
took a seat and in true typical female style said “Oh please be
nice”. Now how does one answer that? I thought for a second and
replied “Yes maam”. Anyway I got talking to “Sally” and
asked what she (we will refer to her as she from now on). Turns out
she drives a truck for a living. I thought to myself – of all the
things you could do as a transvestite, this one is a truck
driver.
Anyway the drawing went well. I was left with one
problem that I had to solve before I completed the drawing. Usually
on males I will utilise a pencil to indicate in shading where a beard
is, I mean, you really could see the bluish tinge on her face.
Should I put this on Sally? I decided to give the shadowing a miss
and instead gave Sally pouty lips – I mean, every female wants
pouty lips don’t they? As a final touch, I placed a few flowers
behind her ear.
I showed Sally the drawing – she loved
it, she jumped up and shook my hand (a very firm handshake) and left
with a big smile on her face.
In life and in business you have
to treat people as you want to be treated. We are all individuals
and no matter if you are Sally or the President of the United States,
I like to think that we all ‘put our pants on one leg at a
time’.
Since this event I’ve travelled extensively for
business. Regardless of your nationality, age, occupation, celebrity
status or wealth you need to show that you do not have an ego –
make it a rule that you always treat people with respect.
STAYING
ON THE RIGHT PATH
In
2003 I was lucky enough to travel to China as part of a caricature
promotion for the large shopping centre chain “Carrefour”.
There was myself, a female caricature artist by the name of Joanne, a
Kiwi cartoonist, Steve, and a European cartoonist- we’ll call him
Casanova.
We had some great times travelling around China
drawing caricatures on a stage inside the hyper malls – they are
like the Westfield malls here in Australia, they sell everything from
toothpaste to bicycles all under the one roof.
So here we were
in Tianjin, in northern China, where very few people speak English.
As I walked down the road, it was as if I were a celebrity – heads
turned and it felt like I had a million eyes on me, watching my every
move.. I guess they had never seen a big, white, bald westerner
before. I joked that I was Bruce Willis.
I got to know my
other travelling cartoonists and one night in Tianjin, myself, Steve
and Casanova hit the town. Now this story centres on Casanova so
let me give you a rundown of this guy. One word - sleazy. He was
nice enough to me, but he really treated women with little respect –
he came on to any female within one hundred metres in a heartbeat.
He had been married umpteen times and had children to numerous wives
all in a number of different countries.
So when we all jumped
in the taxi, Steve and I muttered that we wanted to go out to a pub
and have some drinks. We tried to explain this to the taxi driver
and Casanova muttered something in Mandarin (yes one of his wives
were Chinese, so he had a pretty good grasp of the language) and off
we went.
It was about 9:00pm and we pulled into some dark lane
about 20 minutes from our hotel. Where is this club, where are all
the people? We got out of the taxi and Casanova said “Don’t
worry, follow me”.
We entered into a building in the
backstreets and followed him up the narrow flight of stairs. At the
top of the stairs was a reception area. He muttered something in
Mandarin and, before we know it, the female was escorting us into the
next room..
Steve and I were laughing hard, as a Chinese guy
completely starkers walked by us. He had a white towel over his
shoulder and just let everything else ‘hang out’ if you know what
I mean. He had obviously just come from a steam room.
At this
point we told Casanova “Mate, we like you and all, but we want a
drink, not a steam”. He begged for us to stay a bit longer. At
this point in the middle of a long corridor the female receptionist
then came back with about 15 females aged about 18-30 years. They
paraded up and down the corridor and Casanova pointed at one. The
female then led him off down the corridor.
Steve
and I stood there shocked. We shook our heads and explained that we
are not interested. The receptionist, or should we now call her the
‘madam’ looked at us as though she didn’t understand , and
then escorted us to a lounge area in another room. I remember it was
low lit, with a couple of old dark red leather lounges and I
distinctly remember the smell of urine. It was making me feel sick.
We sat waiting for Casanova.
The madam came over to us and
with said something in Mandarin. Without Casanova we were useless
and couldn’t understand one word. We sat there confused. She then
walked out of the room. Steve and I considered going at this point
but we thought we better stick around for Casanova’s sake, we
thought, he should be back pretty soon.
About ten minutes went
by and the madam again appeared. She said something to us again in
Mandarin – we sat there again, confused. She clicked her fingers.
All of a sudden the doors opened and another group of girls walked
out. They paraded up and down and Steve and I jumped off the lounge
and tried to explain that we are not interested. We said “No”
and shook our head. Despite her not understanding English we did our
best by waving our arms in the ‘no’ gesture with our palms up and
shaking our heads.
Finally we believed she had understood
the message, the girls and the madam walked out of the room. Steve
and I relaxed back in the lounge.
The madam returned again ten
minutes later with even more girls – not again... It became
apparent to us that the madam was of the belief that none of the
girls were too our liking. She didn’t understand that we were just
not interested.
This went on two more times before Casanova
finally walked into the room. He had been gone for about an hour and
Steve and I were fed up and ready to go. He said that he “shouldn’t
be much longer now”. I said “Man, we are out of here” and
Steve and I walked towards the reception area. Casanova reluctantly
followed and we walked into the reception area.
As we entered
the reception, Casanova approached the madam and said something in
Mandarin. I have no idea what was occurring but I could tell from
their facial expressions that the two were arguing and it was
becoming heated.
I walked off towards the door. All of a
sudden from behind the counter a couple of huge Chinese guys
appeared. They didn’t look friendly.
Steve and I scurried
down the steps into the dark lane and jumped in a cab.
I
think the lesson here is to be your own man. In business, I make the
decisions and I make sure I stay on the right path. I’ve got no
one to blame but myself if I make a decision that doesn’t work
out.
As the story demonstrates, this situation could have
gotten out of control and we could have been stuck in the middle. So
whether you are in good times or difficult times, don’t follow the
pack, take the path YOU want to take.
SUPER HERO KIDS
Every
year I try and help out with the Variety Club. They support
disadvantaged kids and have an annual Christmas brunch. Usually they
have a few thousand kids at the event and so I go along and draw
them. They also have a range of activities for the kids, usually a
headline singer and some other performers like clowns, stilt walkers
and acrobats.
If you have ever been down in the dumps or contemplated how tough things are, a few hours with these kids can turn it all around for you. The kids are basically In heaven here, they get all the candy they can eat, show bags and entertainment and the smiles from ear to ear can melt your heart.
We usually have some big queue lines because with a few thousand kids, there are generally only two or three cartoonists that are willing to donate their time at essentially the busiest time of year.
A few years back I worked with my colleagues Steve Panozzo a fellow caricature artist, and David Rowe, who works for the Financial Review and who is arguably the best newspaper artist in the country.
It is a touching sight, as many of the kids have Down syndrome, are in wheelchairs, some even operate them only with a deformed hand on a control or are pushed by their carer.
So we have a long line up of kids and in between drawings, I look over at Steve, his face shows a warm smile as he draws a caricature of the young boy in a cape flying through the air. I look over at David, he is drawing a young girl as a ballerina twirling on her toes. It should be mentioned here that both of the subjects that are being drawn and children in wheelchairs and will never have the opportunity to walk.
As the carer pushes the next child in the wheelchair in front of me, I decide then and there to draw every child as a super hero, because to live a life with these disadvantages, that is exactly what they are.
Every
time I do this event, I walk away thinking just how lucky I am. It
affects me deeply knowing that these children will never have the
opportunity that a normal child receives. I know we all have to make
our fair amount of money to buy the things we want, but to donate
your time without conditions, will give you an appreciation of your
life and is something we all should do.
So volunteer some of
your time to someone less fortunate – it helps you appreciate what
you have and it will be repaid to you in good karma.
SPEAK
THEIR LANGUAGE
This
one is another story from my China experience back in 2003. I was
sharing a room with Steve, the Kiwi cartoonist and had just finished
a gig with Joanne, somewhere in Tianjin.
It was about a week
into the tour and Jo and I went back to our hotel at about 3:00pm to
our respective rooms to relax for a couple of hours. Our working
shifts were staggered and I knew Steve would be due back in about an
hour or so.
I thought I’d have a quick shower and then do
some sightseeing. As I entered the bathroom I closed the door behind
me and locked it (as you do when you are sharing a room). The lock
clicked in an unusual manner and I remember then trying to open the
door again – to no avail. The door knob basically just swung 360
degrees.
There was no screws on the door knob and it was
clearly busted. I tried to pull the whole thing off the door frame,
no chance, I tried to kick in the door, no chance, I was clearly
stuck.
Now luckily inside of this bathroom, in downtown
Tianjin there was a phone next to the toilet. Great!
I picked
up the phone and pressed the reception button. On the other end was
the answer “Nee Hao” from a young female voice. “Yes this is
Brad, I am in room 923, I am stuck in the bathroom, the door lock
has broken”. “Yah” was the response. “Can you send someone
up immediately”. “Yah” was the response.
Ten minutes
went by with no sign of anyone. I rang reception again. “Nee Hao”
answered again. “Yes I am locked in my bathroom – 9 2 3. Is
someone coming up?”. To which there was silence following a
shuffling of the phone. “Wey?” answered. “Yes this is Brad I
am in room...” then there was more shuffling on the phone. Finally
“Herro? Can help?” came onto the phone. “Yes I am locked in
my bathroom – room 923, the lock is broken”. “Yes”.
Oh
no.. this is hopeless, I thought. So I tried to banged on the door –
“yes – I am locked in!” as I punched the door with my hand.
“Yes” was the response.
Now when you are in a tight little
hotel room, you start thinking stupid things; ‘I wonder how much
oxygen is in this room?’.
I waited another twenty minutes
before calling the reception again. “Nee Hao” answered. I just
banged on the door and yelled “Help – I’m locked in!”. The
phone was shuffled again to another person. “Hello? Wey? ” was
the answer.
Now here we are in some remote area in China, I’m
stuck in a little hotel room, banging on the door and all I am
getting from the reception guy is “Yes”. I mean, it’s not
their fault that they can’t speak English, we are in their country.
I just wish they didn’t answer “Yes” to everything without
understanding.
Finally the phone was shuffled again to a male
“Hello?”. “I a m l o c k e d i n t h e t o i l
e t”. I said in the slowest possible way. “Yes sir, I will
call maintenance” said the male.
About thirty minutes went
by, when I heard some noise outside of my hotel room. It was
somebody knocking on the front door of the room.
I yelled out
– “I am locked in, I can’t answer the door!” to which I
banged on the door again. Gees, I am locked in the toilet and they
send someone up to knock on my door.
To cut a long story
short, they finally entered into my hotel room and managed to unscrew
the whole door lock from the bathroom. It was nearly 6:00pm when I
got out, so I had been locked in for over two and a half
hours.
Within ten minutes of getting out, Steve arrived at the
hotel room with a couple of shopping bags. “So what have you been
doing for the past couple of hours and why is our door knob missing?”
he said.
In
business you need to speak the buyers language. It’s like my
example of being stuck in the hotel room – you can talk all you
like, but if they don’t understand it, you won’t get out and in
terms of business, you won’t get sales.
Make what you do
clear and concise. I have a friend who is a cartoonist, caricature
artist, speaker, author, master of ceremonies and now he also does
two different entertainment shows.
You
go to his website and it’s an absolute mess. He is also trying to
sell prints of his caricature drawings, his cartoons, as well as
promoting all of these other ‘services’ he provides.
He
redoes his website every six months and always asks for my comments.
I’ve told him straight up – if I was a person browsing his site I
wouldn’t last ten seconds. I still have absolutely no idea what
you do. As a buyer I want to hire an expert. The solution? Have
multiple domains for your different work, make it clear to the reader
or your prospect what you do.
Better still, concentrate on one
thing only and only move onto the next one only when you are the
expert – Don’t be a jack of all trades, master of none.
‘Jack
of all trades, master of none’ is a figure of speech used in
reference to a person that is competent with many skills but is not
necessarily outstanding in any particular one.
THE BEST LINE EVER
When I was working as a caricature artist, I tended to develop a number of standard responses. In fact it can drive you insane. I feel sorry for really tall people, I am sure they get asked the same thing on a daily basis "Wow, you're tall, how tall are you exactly?" and then this would be followed by "So, do you play basketball?".
Well as a caricature artist, like our tall friends, you get asked 2 questions which absolutely drive me insane:
1. How long have you been drawing for? To which my standard sarcastic response is "about 2 minutes". The smarter people recognize my humor and move onto question 2 whilst the remainder then ask "err.. I mean, when did you first start drawing?". Now I might then have a proper conversation or I might just reply with something like "Well, I started drawing in prison a few years back..." and give a sly grin.
2. So do you do this for work? This one can really get under my skin. Here I would be at a company conference dressed in a suit on a summers day in Sydney and some guy asks me "Do you have a real job?". "Nah I was outside busking, happened to be wearing a suit and I love drawing so much, that I thought I would just come and work for free" would be my sarcastic response followed by a wink.
So that's just a warning, if you ever get drawn, try and ask something original.
Then we come to the audience jokers. This is the scenario - you are drawing someone in front of other people. Someone from the audience pipes up with "Gees, you didn't have to make her nose that big!". Now I wish I had a dollar for every time that has happened.
Now I've heard a lot of lines but the best has to be the story from another caricature artist as he was drawing. The caricature artist was half way through drawing the face, when someone from the crowd that was gathered around him piped up with "Gee, you didn't have to draw his ass first!". Finally we got an original line.
THE COW STORY
It was a most unusual request: "So the final painting of the night Brad... what we want you do is... Well we want you to paint a giant cow!".
The event was the annual Queensland feedlot convention with about 800 people, and this was certainly an unusual request. "Yeah, no problem" I responded, as I began to wonder how I could paint this cow in four minutes, and more importantly, how on earth I could make it exciting for the audience.
It was certainly a busy time of the year for me and I had been planning a number of events around it. The same week I was painting a CEO in Singapore and then painting a female award winner, also in Queensland. With a few jobs on in the same week, it is a case of a bit of preparation, getting photos of the subjects for the portraits, mixing music for shows and generally working out how to add some sizzle to the show.
So a few weeks went by and I was planning the shows out. I had requested a photo of the CEO from Singapore and the award winner from Queensland and now focused my attention to the feedlot convention. You see, the client had a particular cow scene in mind. "These farmers know their cows, they want you to paint a particular cow with its markings, so I will send you through a photo now!".
Five minutes later the phone rang. "Hi Brad.. It's Tom from the association. I just want to confirm that you received the photo on the email". I quickly refreshed my email and the photo of the cow appeared. I clicked on the attachment to see a great big black and white spotted cow. "Great photo,” I said jokingly. “What a great looking cow!". The phone went silent for a few seconds. "Well some people call her a cow!".
All of a sudden it dawned on me. I was speaking to a representative of the company that was giving the award to the female employee and not the feedlot association.
Afterward
So I did the painting of the cow and true to the event organiser's word "it went off". Even though I also painted Bono, Elvis and the CEO that night, the cow fetched over $6,000 for a charity and was the most highly contested auction item out of all my paintings.
I
actually learnt a lesson from this show and that is of customisation.
If you can customise your product for the buyer, you will be more
successful.
In my cow story, I initially thought that the
painting of a cow was a ridiculous idea, even though I did agree to
it. The fact is, is that the event organiser was absolutely correct
– these farmers live and breath their cows and while it’s not
everyone’s cup of tea, that is the painting that excited them. I
also put on Australian country music whilst I painted the cow (Lee
Kernaghan – Country and Western singer) and it was all about
relating the show to THEM.
Since this show, although it takes
me a little bit of extra time – I do like to customise all my shows
for the audience. Doing this has taken me to Singapore (where I
painted a building opening), Dubai (where I painted an image of the
Dubai Creek Golf Club) and also to work for companies such as
Mercedes (where I did a number of shows painting their very first
automobile and their very latest automobile) and Wrigleys (where I
painted a picture of an M&M!). I think if I had just an ‘off
the shelf’ product, these opportunities would have gone astray.
So if you are in the service industry, make it specifically
about them.
DON’T
SHOOT THE CARTOONIST
On a balmy night back in 2005 I was drawing for a leading web based company (well one of the largest internet companies.. but I won’t mention names) at a Christmas event. There were about 100 people in the middle of the CBD, at an open top bar. In true Christmas party style, the alcohol was flowing.
Now tonight, I was drawing on large A2 paper with a Masonite drawing board and a thick juicy marker and I've gotta say, I was in the zone. I don't generally see people different, but tonight everyone looked like a cartoon character to me.
One after one I peeled off hilarious drawings of the staff and clients. Some had humungous foreheads, some had chins that took up three quarters of the drawing pad. Soon the drawings started circulating and within an hour I basically had everyone from the party surrounding me. I had to sit down because people were standing on chairs to see who I was drawing and just who I was 'taking the mickey out of'.
As I finished a drawing of a guy with a massive double chin, that I had turned into a quadruple chin, people burst into laughter, laughing so hard that they were coughing from not getting enough oxygen. After this subsided and tubby moved off the chair, I could see that people were scared. The seat remained vacant, even though I had announced "Next victim please!".
You see, it's fine if you are just one on one having an exaggerated drawing made, but once you are in front of an audience, I guess it can be similar to being stripped naked. Every feature of the face is examined and basically made fun of and this was exactly what I was doing. I can certainly understand why people were scared, but you they knew what they were in for if they took a seat – it was for the entertainment of the audience.
It was time for my
next victim and a few guys suggested that Carlos be drawn. It took a
chorus of about 10 people to start chanting his name, before finally
everyone joined in. The crowd all turned and it was like a parting
of the red sea as Carlos stood there, obviously reluctant to be
drawn. He was basically dragged by his arms by fellow co-workers
into the vacant seat and this is when I got a real good look at him.
It was clear that they had sent the poor lamb to the slaughter, poor Carlos definitely wasn't the best looking guy. I think he was of Indian descent, he had a chubby face, a severe monobrow, basically One super thick eyebrow, that was just a continuation from one side of his temple to another. But what really stuck out was his nose. It was massive, like Gonzo from Sesame Street. Not only did it protrude, it was bent like a beak and they had set poor Carlos up for a flogging.
I introduced myself and Carlos shook my hand and then basically stared at me, without a hint of smile, almost knowing what was going to happen.
The moment was surreal, I remember having the whole audience hanging on every pen stroke. I started by turning the page landscape instead of portrait and drew a massive nose right in the centre of the page. This alone was enough to crack every one up behind me and for those who could see the drawing. Next I moved onto his mouth, having had his nose dip down I made it look like that part of his nose overhang his mouth. Once again, people cracked up and Carlos tried to see the drawing, which I had purposely slanted so that he couldn't.
Next came the eyebrows. I basically drew a large rectangle above his nose and colored it in black. Doing this, I had people behind me laughing so hard they were crying for not only did it look like Carlos, it had hammered him.
It was at this point that I decided that I wouldn't continue further. I mean, I didn't want to add his eyes and hair, I just kept it as a cartoon. I spun the drawing board around and the crowd burst out laughing. It was the sound of about ninety nine people laughing hard at once, the only person who wasn't laughing was a stone faced Carlos who basically pierced my eyes with his glare.
I unclipped the page from the drawing board and handed it to him. In one continuous motion of taking the paper, he ripped it in two and stood over me. People were still laughing and I really didn't know what to do. Before I could even wipe the smile from my face, Carlos grabbed my Masonite drawing board, held it with two hands in front of him and kneed it right in the centre smashing it in two. It was like he had turned into one of those Bruce lee opponents who broke the boards before Bruce would look calm and say "Boards don't hit back" before disposing of their sorry ass.
Immediately a bunch of Carlos' colleagues rushed at him to try and calm him down whilst the other half of the crowd seemed to be now laughing harder at what had just happened.
So Carlos walked away and the event representative apologized to me for his behavior. She immediately offered to pay for the drawing board and the night continued on.. Without me really doing any more exaggerated drawings.
Aftermath: The company held their next Christmas party exactly twelve months later in the exact same venue. It was like de ja vu.
Immediately
as I entered the event, people came up to me talking about last year.
"Remember Carlos from last year? That was hilarious, we can't
wait for you to draw him again this year!". Yes the group was
trying to set him up again, the mongrels!
After about twenty minutes Carlos came over and apologized for his outburst from the previous year. I mentioned jokingly that I only brought one drawing board this year and so we both agreed that he wouldn't be drawn again.
LEADING THE WAY ON CREATIVITY
Whenever I travel to Asia, my eyes open up to the different ways they do things. I am not just talking about how they can efficiently transport 7 million people around Hong Kong (a train every 3 minutes!), whilst Sydney struggles with just 4 million people (a train every 15-30 minutes!) in an area that is one and half times the size, it's their whole approach to everything. Specifically I would like to give you some examples within my industry, event entertainment.
My first foray into Asia came in 2008 when I painted Nico Rosberg (Formula 1 driver) at a RBS Formula 1 event at the National Singapore Museum. They had a few other pieces of entertainment that were fun - rather than having a bar, the bar staff were all young females in tight Formula One clothing on roller blades serving cocktails. They scooted around the floor of the Singapore Museum on their rollerblades serving the drinks. They also placed a real Formula 1 car inside of the museum and placed a simulator machine on a computer in the dashboard of the vehicle. They had Nico set his best time on the simulator and had all the guests trying to beat his time.
In an art themed event last year, of course they had myself the speedpainter, but they also had guys walking around as the Mona Lisa with their heads and hands sticking through the painting. They also had models with a palette hat, complete with paints. The event teams are creative and, with so many events, they have to be able to capture the imagination of invitees.
Another example that comes to mind is shopping centers. In 2009 I was involved in a launch in 2009 of a new shopping centre opened in Singapore by Asia Malls. They invited me because they wanted something totally different to normal entertainment and to generate interest in the centre. The fact is, Singapore is definitely not short of shopping centers, it has hundreds - and browsing through them is like watching the first hour of the movie Groundhog Day (movie with Bill Murray). They all have the same stores, and the shopping centre that I performed at opened directly in the centre of 2 other large shopping malls.
What
I am trying to say, is that in today’s highly competitive world,
YOU need to stand out. It doesn’t matter what you are trying to
promote, if you don’t have something unique about you – it can be
your service, your product, your guarantee, then like most businesses
that start up, you will unfortunately fail.
Let me give you
some examples of how common businesses have stood out and why I use
their services:
My
dentist:
I have to say that I actually don’t mind going to the dentist. A
very personable dentist, he lays you back in the dental chair and
above your head is a large LCD screen. He switches on the screen and
always has the latest movies ready and gives you the choice on what
you would like to watch. He puts these big earphones that completely
muffle any noise from his dental equipment. A few years ago I was in
the chair for about 30 minutes and was pretty disappointed he had
finished so quickly, I was enjoying the movie!
My
Post Office:
After the retirement of old George and Wilma who owned my local post
office for ten years a young ambitious owner (Robert) purchased the
business. When I first collected a parcel, he confirmed my name and
my post box number. The next time I walked in a few weeks later
without prompting he said “Hi Brad, good to see you, I’ll get
your mail now”.
After years of old George serving me, he
had never once called me by my name. Within two weeks, Robert had
memorised the names of the majority of postal box owners. I bumped
into Robert at the airport a few months later and had a good chat
with him about his business – he thought THAT was the priority and
very first thing he would do before other exciting projects he had
for the shop, like changing the layout of the counters etc. He
became personable with all of his clients. He actively takes an
interest in their lives – he remembers the name and one small
detail about everyone. His sales have doubled.
THE CLOWN THEY CALL “COOKIE”
In
2008 I had the fortunate experience of performing in Fiji. The event
was a festival in Suva, Fiji and was called “Showcase” – it was
an annual event where Fijians from all over would travel to Suva to
shop, eat food and watch some unusual entertainment.
The guy
organising the entertainment was from NZ and was a clown called
Cookie. He explained that he had been doing the Showcase festival
for a while now and had brought in all sorts of acts from around the
world including magicians, fire eaters, people on stilts etc.
Arriving in Suva, I was picked up by a van and taken to my
hotel. Along the way the driver listened to Vita FM – a radio
station that played the latest music. During the commercial break I
heard the voice of “Cookie” as he encouraged everyone to come
down to the Vodafone arena. As we entered into Suva there was a huge
poster of Cookie also advertising the dates for Showcase.
After
settling into the hotel it was about 11pm and I heard a knock on the
door. This is where I met Cookie, without the makeup, of course! He
is a down to earth New Zealander who loves his fishing. He has been
a professional clown for years and he reiterated that he has
performed at Showcase for nearly two decades.
Cookie explained
to me that the Fijian audience are very different from the one back
home – you have to use simple terms so that they understand what is
happening and you have to basically work the audience and tell them
what to do. They tend to be extremely quiet and sit in awe of the
entertainers.
A few years ago he had a stilt walker in Fiji
and a lot of the people thought she was born that way, ie. With very
long legs, and felt sorry for her. Clearly this was a different
world, as I was about to find out.
Cookie explained that he
was quite well known in Fiji. The story goes that when Suva first
opened the McDonald’s chain of restaurants in the late 1990’s the
Fijian people were calling Ronald McDonald “Cookie”. I really
couldn’t believe that a ‘clown’ could become this popular.
The great thing about being a clown is that nobody in public
knows your identity. Cookie was the same, his real identity remained
a closely guarded secret. When in role, he wore white gloves, his
face was fully painted white and he had a bright yellow wig, so
Cookie could have been anybody – Indian, Fijian or Caucasian.
Cookie had his own changing room and only hung out with us in the
media room, where nobody else was allowed.
The following
morning we fronted up to the Fijian media in costume – we did a few
radio interviews and then some TV interviews. On the way home,
Cookie had our driver stop by the side of the road. He said, “Watch
this” as he opened the van door and walked into the school. A
couple of children spotted Cookie and they came running. Within five
minutes it was crazy – there must have been at least 300 kids
surrounding Cookie trying to touch him. It was absolutely out of
control – I’ve never seen anything like it.
I sat in the
crowd the following day watching Cookie perform for about 2,000
people. Watching the crowd I noticed the adults laughing just as
much as the kids. It was almost surreal – Cookie would have the
kids bow and using his big clown shoe he would kick them up the bum.
It then dawned on me – these are just really simple people, the
simpler your act, the better. No wonder he was a star – he didn’t
need to do something amazing, he just brought his comedy to their
level and they loved it. Cookie had it down to a tee, he would
‘speak their language’ using simple terms. Even his magic tricks
– there was nothing too complicated there, making silks change
colours and that sort of thing - but it was simple, clean and fun.
That night Cookie and I decided to go out for a drink. Well,
one drink turned into another and seeing as we didn’t have to work
until midday the next day, there was no pressure to come home too
early. We got talking about magic and Cookie started showing me some
tricks. Within a couple of minutes we had a crowd gathering.
Now
I just remember being on the dance floor in some club in Suva,
watching “Cookie” performing for a bunch of people. It happened
almost in slow motion – he put into his fist a yellow silk and it
vanished showing his palms empty. He closed his fist and brought out
a bright red one. The audience went crazy!
It was then that
I asked one of the females, had they heard of Cookie the Clown? Of
course they had heard of Cookie, they answered. Cookie stood next to
me as we revealed that the man they were watching was indeed the
famous Cookie.
They all looked puzzled and funnily enough,
didn’t believe us.
This story goes to show that the sky
is the limit. A clown can capture the minds of an entire nation.
Cookie has built a reputation (firstly in New Zealand) and then
around the world at being the best in the business.
Other
opportunities presented themselves – he had a regular double page
in the kids section of the Woman’s Weekly, then came sponsorships,
then came festivals. I don’t think it is fair to say what Cookie
earned in the past year – but let’s just say my jaw hit the
ground when he told me.
Become the expert and dominate your
industry.
JUST DO IT
Back in 2008 I was one of four international acts to perform at showcase, Fiji's largest annual festival. To set the scene, the acts were all housed in vocative arena Fiji and the stage faced the stadium seating. During most shows there were two to three thousand Fijians crammed into the venue. It was a fantastic learning experience for me because until then I was still relatively 'green' in the entertainment world. Any nervousness that I had performing in front of large audiences quickly disappears when you perform two shows a day to thousands of people.
There was one situation though that had me on edge. We were fast approaching the conclusion of showcase when I received a knock on the door of my dressing room. It was from the festival organizer "Brad, today our interim Prime Minister Commodore Frank Bainimarama will be coming to the show. We really want you to do a picture of him during your show". Wow I thought, my first prime minister. "Absolutely" I replied "..and how about I do it all impromptu on stage.. I promise not to say anything out of line! I will call him up put him next to the easel..'
"Definitely not Brad!" the organizer interrupted. "You see, with all the political unrest here in Fiji, there is always the risk of an assassination attempt. He will be in the audience, right in the centre of the crowd, but please do not make mention that he is with us today... Oh and please make sure you do a good job of his picture, his bodyguards carry machine guns" and with that the organizer gave me a wink and left the room.
I have to say this was pretty nerve racking. With an hour until show time I jumped on the Internet and googled Frank Bainimarama. And there he was, mainly in military apparel. I quickly printed one out and setup for the show.
So my music comes on and I introduce myself to the crowd. There must have been more than 3,000 people in attendance but the weight of just one person felt like it was even more.
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