Fast Track
7 Rules to Get Good with Women in Months, Not Years
by
Syboh Seven and Angel Donovan
Smashwords Edition
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Published by:
Angel Donovan on Smashwords
Copyright 2010 Angel Donovan
http://www.datingskillsreview.com/
All rights are reserved. No part of this manual may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
Disclaimer
This report has been written to provide information to help you improve your dating and relationships. Every effort has been made to make this report as complete and accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes in typography or content. Also, this report contains information on Dating and Relationships only up to the publishing date. Therefore, this report should be used as a guide – not as the ultimate source of Dating and Relationship information.
The purpose of this report is to educate. The author and publisher does not warrant that the information contained in this report is fully complete and shall not be responsible for any errors or omissions. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this report.
Distribution Rights for This Manual
You have the right to give this manual away for free. However, you may not modify this report in anyway. You many only pass it along "as is".
Thanks,
Angel Donovan
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the authors' work.
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Contents
The Ultimate Review of Dating Advice
Few Quality Advice Products Vs. Free Information
Forums: When is it OK to Get Outside Feedback?
A. Expand Your Social Circles and Connections
B. Surround Yourself with Guys Who are Good with Women
C. Get Female Friends (Preferably Hot Ones)
Expensive Bootcamps – Worth the $$$?
Get started with DatingSkillsReview.com
The Ultimate Review of Dating Advice
There is no ‘magic bullet’ that will transform your dating life in a day, or a week, into complete success.
No matter what advice you use, the techniques you learn, or what a product’s marketing or an instructor says – you can’t become successful overnight.
It has never happened in the history of dating advice for men (approx. 15 years according to our history of dating advice timeline).
You will have to invest some effort and time to master dating.
Learning to master dating is literally 1000 times easier today than it was 15 years ago. The knowledge exists. And it is mostly accessible. The majority of it is today packaged into dating advice products that you can buy for yourself. There is also a lot, it should be said, that is even more easily accessible on free forums (more about this later).
Over the years we have seen students of dating advice accelerate their success within a year or even less to levels they couldn't have dreamed of beforehand.
Unfortunately, the MAJORITY of students take much much longer, and sometimes they never achieve their potential. This is not only because of lack of knowledge - many of them have used some of the best dating advice products.
It is due to a flawed approach to learning and applying the dating advice.
FACT: The majority of men who use dating advice do less than 10% of what is described in this manual.
This manual represents our most up to date effort to map out the way the best students learn. The ‘how’ of learning. Not the ‘what’ to learn and what to do (which is the focus of dating advice). This is the key to the FAST TRACK.
The 7 rules of accelerated dating mastery are founded upon what we have learned from our years of experience, both learning ourselves, teaching others, seeing our peers develop (many of them amongst today’s star instructors), and reviewing tens of products in the area of dating skills.
In the last few years we’ve pulled this learning together and spent time deciphering the patterns of men who master dating success the fastest vs. those who don’t. The 7 Rules are the map of how ‘fast trackers’ learn.
The rules are numbered by prioritization. You should focus on implementing the first in your approach to learning, then as soon as you feel you are comfortably doing that, move on to the second, and so on. For each rule you integrate into your learning approach, you will accelerate the pace at which you improve. Eventually, when you are applying all 7 rules – you will be moving towards dating success at maximum speed!
We all like to get success easily and quickly. Whilst that isn’t realistically going to happen with dating, there are areas that you can work on with little effort quickly to give you immediate success.
Focus on fixing these first. Don’t do anything else. You want to get to the results with women part quickly right?
By focusing on only these things first you give that the best chance of happening. Two areas have the highest results-to-effort ratio you can get. Also, everything else will flow more easily if you get these areas down first.
The areas are your image (appearance) and basic attracting women skills.
With the right help or information, you can change your looks for the better relatively quickly – in a couple of weeks or even days.
The difference in the response you get from women is HUGE and well worth the effort. Girls pick up on a lot of aspects of appearance that guys often don’t pay attention to – anything from basic cleanliness, to fitness, and to cool fashion and accessories that signal a sense of style and social value. So do these things:
1. Learn about fashion/ style
2. Get some quality clothes that FIT you
3. Get on a healthy diet and to the gym to build a muscled- well toned body. If you are overweight – cut it – if you are skinny – build some muscle.
To really accelerate this process buy one of the top related advice from Ranking of Top Image/Fashion Advice Products.
It is a fact that 99% of guys who are not getting results with women do not know which behavior s attract women and which repel them.
By focusing your efforts on learning some BASIC attracting women skills you can transform how women relate to you quickly.
This includes making an effort to learn:
1. What behaviors are attractive and to do them
2. What behaviors are unattractive and stopping them
Sounds simple. But too often guys get carried away and distracted with advanced attracting women concepts, or other advice and techniques. Focus on the basics of the two things above. Think 80/ 20. And stick to making some basics of attraction working for you.
Once you have done this you will start to understand why “Attraction is Not a Choice” for women but follows automatically from the right behaviors (As you saw in Day 1 of Daily Dating Gold).
For the top related advice see the Ranking of Top Attracting Women Advice.
As you start and keep on learning, you will have to find information to feed your progress.
The problem is that today there is a huge mass of advice on how to improve your results with women. Some is good. Some is bad. We are talking about information overload of the worst kind here, because it is difficult to know what is good – and what is wasting your time, or worse, bad advice.
Fact 1: The vast majority of men, even in the seduction and pick-up artist communities, and relationship advice columns are not successful (or don't understand why they are). As a result, they give counterproductive advice and opinions that do more harm than good.
FACT 2: Today we all, as humans, have a strong information seeking bias that has been nurtured in us by the media age and the media companies. This means that we have a tendency to seek information even when it cannot affect our actions or outcomes. We have become information consumers for the sake of it. This is unfortunately a major cause of why we see many guys who know a lot about dating from reading but can't apply any of it!
Don’t fall into the trap of continuously looking for more information to help you. It will only dilute the good advice you already have. The only way to get past this issue is to be extremely disciplined about the information you use.
Apply three tests before you consider using a new piece of advice on dating:
1. Do you master the advice you already have? If not, your time is better spent in applying the advice you have than getting new advice. (See Rule #4: Doing is Understanding to know how to do this)
2. Does it add an actionable insight to the advice you are already using? If not, it will only be a distraction from using and applying the good advice you already have.
3. Is the person giving the advice getting the type of success you are looking for? What proof is there? If you only have their word for it, you are on dodgy ground.
We have four proven practical tips for you on this.
Few Quality Advice Products Vs. Free Information
There is no shortage of free information online these days. Some of it is good, most of it is bad. There are good blogs out there, and excellent forums, with a lot of quality tidbits of information.
BUT… most of this free information sits like a ‘needle in a haystack’. A lot of time and energy can be wasted on irrelevant threads, bad newbie advice, and blind-leading-the-blind suggestions.
So the question is: How do you find the good information the easiest way?
Answer: You will be much better off investing in a couple of high quality proven products early on, and focusing on studying them thoroughly.
Good books, video and audio programs, put together by guys who have been “in the game” for years and have real world experience dating and teaching it, are the most efficient way to learn the core principles you need.
In a 200 page book, or a 6 hours audio product, you get all the wisdom they have accumulated, in a concentrated manner, and structured in a way that helps you “get it”.
Here we’re talking about quality products, obviously. Which is where the second issue comes in. How do you know which products are the good ones – that are actually getting results for people? The best way we have found is unbiased reviews. This is why we created DatingSkillsReview.com to put as many experienced editor reviews and a mass of reviews from users in one place.
Today, there are a lot of excellent products that are inexpensive and nevertheless packed full of life-changing information.
We have two lists of the best advice we have found to date:
1. Our selection of dating advice that does an excellent job of solving the specific challenges you have in our Dating Skills Review Editors’ Choice.
2. The top rated dating advice in our Top Editor Rated Products Ranking.
We have also defined an optimum learning strategy in our optimum learning strategy video. It outlines advice and products that target your specific needs at each stage of your development from beginner all the way up to advanced.
The optimum learning strategy is a very efficient way to learn that uses a minimum of information – that's information discipline.
It feels great to be learning new things. Which is why you have to be extra careful when reading some new ‘cool’ piece of advice on women. Learning something new may feel good, but it doesn’t necessarily help you. If it is not better than the advice you were using, it risks just distracting you from using the advice you had. And as a result slowing you down. Sounds a little counter-intuitive, right?
Well, this is how it works. Advice is about using information to change an aspect of your behavior. If you have one piece of advice and you apply that to change your behavior it is very probably that it will actually become part of your behavior during that time. And you will see the relevant results.
If you want to get even better. You can then take another piece of advice and change another behavior. This is likely to work too…
But then comes ‘decreasing returns’ as your attention gets stretched beyond its limits. Our brains and willpower are only capable of introducing a limited amount of change into our lives effectively. The amount is a lot smaller than you would believe. Change is hard, it demands a lot of attention.
If you read ten bits of advice and try to apply them all we guarantee you will fail, or be mediocre at them all. What you want to do, is apply one at a time, and focus on the best.
There are three practical approaches guys have found to do this.
1. Cheat Sheet: Summarizing behaviors you want to change (e.g. a good behavior to do, or bad behavior to avoid) on a small cheat sheet. This should be like a small list that you keep under 10 items. Some people keep it in their wallets, others on their computer somewhere – the important thing is to use and revise it to keep it current (relevant to change you need to make).
2. Journaling: Writing down your experiences and how they relate to the knowledge you have has proven to help you to assimilate knowledge. Like a getting good with women diary. Many guys do this daily. For example, they’ll note down the items from their cheat sheet they did well during the day, and those they did bad. This helps them to focus on the information that will be helpful to them for the next day. It also signals them when they can move on to learn something new because they have mastered the current bits of advice they have.
Forums: When is it OK to Get Outside Feedback?
When we try something out and we don’t get the result we expected. A great way to help clarify what we might be doing right or wrong is to consult others and get feedback about it.
So when you’ve written something in your journal and there are unanswered questions. Things you aren’t sure about. Why did the girl say that? Why didn’t she give me her number? Why didn’t she return my call? Etc..
It can be useful to post them in a forum where you can get some customized feedback on what you did and the result you got.
Well, this is true… Sometimes….
You see, it all depends on how good the feedback is that you are given.
Forums, like the Dating Skills Review Community forum, can be an excellent support to you through the advice given back to your posts. But that feedback and advice can also be completely misleading.
Back, when I was learning, I remember many guys who used to post responses to my questions and Field Reports (where you post about your experience approaching or meeting a girl, what you did and the results you got). A few of them sounded very confident… and posted a lot. You know what, though? When I met those guys in real life I found out that they didn’t have the experience to back it up and really weren’t good with women. I’d found that out the hard way by listening and working through their suggestions and ideas. What a waste of time… “The Blind Leading the Blind”. Often the people who post the most actually offer the worst advice (it’s counter-intuitive, but it’s the way it is).
So, you have to be careful. But that doesn’t mean you should drop getting support from forums completely. They can be invaluable, when you have questions you can’t answer yourself and you need a different perspective (and more experienced one).
So here is what you do.
1. You pay attention to what you post. You make sure you clearly recount the events as they happened (not bending them to make you sound better than you are for instance). You make your post as authentic as possible, you should be using an ‘anonymous’ forum name anyway so no one is going to know it’s you. You also don’t omit any details that could be important. Getting good feedback starts with positing a clear question or situation.
2. When people reply check out how many posts they’ve made. Assess how good their advice is before you take it in. To do this
a. See how other people relate to them on the forum.
b. If you like their advice, check out some of their other posts and see if they are as good quality.
3. Most importantly – assess how emotional their posts are. Confidence, experienced men with women post to the point and unemotional laden posts. That’s just the way it is. The guys who come across more emotional (and often extreme) in their posts usually are that way because they aren’t completely secure in their dating success.
(Note: In the Dating Skills Review Community forum our expert editors try to answer most questions and reports and give feedback within 24 hours. You can feel safe with them – they are all very experienced guys).
Fundamentally, mastering your dating life, is about mastering your social life.
A harsh reality of the dating world is that the majority of men that aren’t getting results have a lack of ‘social experience’ in comparison to those that do get results.
This is why the typical profile of guys who have less success with women are those that have jobs which are not social. What you spend your time on, is what you develop skills in. Typically an IT programmer who sits in front of a computer all day has a lot less social experience than a sales man or a consultant. They also tend to get less success with women as a consequence.
An essential factor in getting good, fast, is increasing the % of your time spent socializing with people no matter the context. This naturally leads to you being more in control in social situations as you unconsciously acquire hours of social experience.
You may now ask, yeah, but how can I do that? Here are three specific things you can do to increase your social experience in a focused way to create results fast.
A. Expand Your Social Circles and Connections
Too many guys make the mistake of learning about “meeting women” in a vacuum. What we mean by this is that you make all your social activities about ‘meeting women’. You go to bars to practice meeting women. You make friends with other guys who like to talk about meeting women… it becomes your only social life. This is better than not being social, but (counter intuitively perhaps) it is a lot less effective than developing a balanced social life and range of social experiences.
If you want to be good and stay good long-term, you need to learn to be social. You need to expand your social circles and make connections easily.
When you are out and about, don’t focus purely on hot girls. If you meet a cool or interesting guy or girl, take the time to really get to know them. Forge friendships with interesting people everywhere you go.
Naturals (guys who are naturally good with women) have big social circles for a reason.
Which brings us to…
B. Surround Yourself with Guys Who are Good with Women
Your life is shaped by who you hang out with. Your close friends “set the bar” for your expectations and ambitions.
One of the best ways to learn without even trying is to make friends with naturals, and hang out with them as much as you can.
You will learn by osmosis, just talking to them and observing how they operate. Their stories about what happened to them and what they did will naturally lead you to a better understanding of women.
This is a REAL no-brainer. It’s a lazy way to learn, since it eventually just happens thanks to your absorption of what these guys are doing everyday you know them.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking your time is better invested in chasing women vs. meeting some cool guys who will effectively mentor you via your friendship. The time invested in hanging out with naturals will lead you to results ten to a hundred times faster.
C. Get Female Friends (Preferably Hot Ones)
Too many guys have a core circle of friends that is male-only.
That doesn’t help you get good with women, does it? How do you expect to learn about women if most of your time you aren’t even around them?
Go out of your way to meet a couple of beautiful girls and become their friend. Don’t try to get in bed with them, even if you get the chance. Make it clear to them (and to yourself) that they are like your sisters.
This gets you three huge pay-offs:
(1) Social proof that you are a guy women like:
You can hang out with them in public venues, and be perceived as a cool guy who understands women. The simple fact that you are “friends with hot women is a good sign that you must be interesting enough to hang out with (and remember an outsider looking in can’t tell exactly what’s your relationship with them…friends, lovers, exes?).
This is called social proof, because socially, the fact that you should be seen out with women offers proof to others that you deserve it. It will then affect how those people relate to you.
(2) A better understanding of the female perspective:
Talking to hot women, as a friend, about their goals, desires and frustrations is the best way to understand what makes them tick. You can’t learn subtleties just from reading, you need to balance this with what women really do. The stories women tell you about their lives and what you see them do when you’re out will help you with this.
(3) A diminished sensitivity to beauty:
The more you are used to talking to beautiful girls, the less it will ‘inhibit’ you in a flirting context. A big barrier with most guys is that they get shy or nervous around the girls they really like. This only happens because they aren’t used to being around girls of that quality. So make it part of your life… and the nervousness will disappear, and stop sabotaging you when it matters.
You can spend your first couple of weeks studying, reading, listening. But very quickly, you will hit diminishing returns.
This is because no matter how much you think you understand, a lot of the material will go right over your head. You can’t make sense of it – or internalize it - unless you actually get real-world experience.
Also, you won’t change your behaviors unless you DO things repeatedly. You will find that juts knowing something, doesn’t necessarily make it an automatic part of your behavior. That takes practices.
So rather sooner than later, you need to cut on the studying and increase the doing.
After two weeks, for each hour of study, you should spend a couple of hours outside, meeting people, talking to women, and applying what you have learned in your conversations and behaviors. In other words, PRACTICING.
After four weeks, for each hour of study, you should spend 4 hours practicing.. and so on. You get the picture.
Extra study is meaningless without practice by DOING. So don’t waste time with it. You need to increasingly be focused on the ACTION side of the equation.
Limiting beliefs are a big reason why guys don’t get results quickly.
They don’t believe one of two things:
1. What they read about how to get good with women is true
2. That they, themselves, can get good with women
The way to get past these road blocks to your progress is Seeing is Believing. Sometimes you have to just see it with your own eyes before you can fully accept it.
FACT: Many guys STALL OUT in their progress because of limiting beliefs. They simply don't believe what is possible – they have a smaller realm of possibilities than others. These limiting beliefs lead him to self-sabotage himself in subtle ways, keeping them in realm, while they watch others achieve things that they don't understand.
By following our advice in Rule # 3 Get Social you will already be hanging out with cool guys and girls and already getting a good dose of experience from these relationships. You’ll see the cool guys meeting women, taking them home and getting into relationships with them in ways you never thought possible. You’ll see your female friends hooking up with guys in ways you also didn’t think of.
That will be Seeing is Believing right there. You’ll soon start accepting the way the world is, and really accepting what you’ve learned from dating advice.
By following our advice in Rule# 4 Doing is Understanding, you’ll also be getting out there and applying things yourself and seeing the results of what you do for yourself. That will blow away some of those limiting beliefs right there too.
You’re on your way to cracking this one.
Now, if you really want to blow this one wide open – there is also the accelerated option – the bootcamp.
Expensive Bootcamps – Worth the $$$?
Bootcamps often are not cheap, so you have to decide if the investment makes sense to you.
It can be fun to “pay your dues” and progress on your own. It does forge character. But it’s also slower.
Having a good teacher lead you, break down your mistakes, and show you what’s possible, is one of the best ways to cut months or years (for some people) off your learning curve.
A bootcamp can show you what is possible when the instructor demonstrates with women what you need to be able to do and can do.
A bootcamp can show you that you can do it yourself. Instructors can push you to do what’s right till you break down barriers in your understanding. Once you have done it yourself, it’s very hard to go back on that – you accept that you are able to do it.
We say can… because this is dependent on you choosing a good instructor and one that is suitable for you. Do your due diligence before you buy, so that those $$$ get you your money’s worth of acceleration to results with women.
If you are considering a bootcamp or coaching check out:
1. Our mini-guides on the subject:
a. “Introduction to Dating Coaching, Dating Bootcamps, 1 on 1s, Virtual Coaching and Dating Seminars”
b. “How to Buy Dating Coaching & Get Maximum Value for your $$$”
c. “Dating Bootcamps: How Do the Most Expensive and Cheapest Compare with the Best Student Feedback”
2. Check out the Ranking of Top User Rated Bootcamps and what past clients have had to say about their bootcamp experiences with different companies and instructors.
3. Lastly, get to know your potential instructors and their advice in our DSR Weekly Interviews Series. The more relevant an instructor’s background and learning experience to your own the more value you will generally get from him.
Typically, guys who learn fast first look like they are failing and getting rejected a lot.
You may have heard the saying “the quicker you fail, the quicker you succeed”, or the somewhat counter-intuitive statement “Fail faster”.
These are often heard in the business world, and they are true in the dating field as well. In fact it is even more true.
In the business world you can have big cash losses if you go wrong. In the dating world, the worst thing you can do is mess up an opportunity with one or a group of women. There are millions in the world. And the reality is that guys very rarely make mistakes that blow their chances with a woman forever. A month later most hiccups are forgotten.
The reason is that you have to gain real-world experience as quickly as possible. That means trying out lots of the ideas and techniques you have learned and experiencing them in reality. You need to take RISKS.
The mindset is of experimentation. You should be thinking I wonder if I apply this thing that I learned will I get this better outcome. If you don’t experiment, you just do the same, and you get nowhere. So always push to take the bigger, more experimental, and higher risk approach. You’ll either get a much better result or a much harder failure.
Either way it’s good. The quicker you make failures, the quicker you learn the hard lessons you need to internalize. There is simply no substitute for failing and learning from your mistakes.
So just accept you need to go through this process, and make it quicker by not taking any little failure seriously - whether a girl ignores you, doesn't give you her number, flakes on you for a date, doesn't call you back, or breaks up with you... all of these steps are necessary and inevitable.
Even experts get those sometimes – but they don’t obsess over it. They laugh it off, learn from it and move on – and that’s why they are successful.
The knowledge you are learning will help you avoid more and more mistakes, but no one can implement it perfectly overnight – you still need the experience of applying it to REALLY UNDERSTAND and be able to implement it better and better. The only way to do that is to take RISKS.
So what are risks? What are the exact things you should be doing A LOT of.
The following is a list of the risks that you MUST take on to make your dating life better:
1. When you see a woman you’re attracted to, going and talking to her
2. When she gives you positive signs getting her phone number
3. Texting and calling the phone number
4. Setting up time and place to meet her again
5. Putting your personality on the line and being yourself when you see her
6. Making physical moves to escalate the relationship (touching, kissing, sex etc.)
7. Applying and testing new things you have learned in real life, even if they sound counterproductive (you will never know if they work until you try them yourself – just remember to obey our Rule #2 Information Discipline)
If you are applying rules 1 – 6, after a couple of months you are most likely already successful with women. But there is one final trick to learn…
There is short-lived success, and there is the type of success that endures and remains.
While it’s important to work on your attraction skills, and how to meet women, you also want to keep those special ones in your life.
For that you have to actually “BE” more than the average guy. All those dating behaviors and skills you learned are great, highly effective. But they are superficial to an extent, because they are about dating – what happens after the initial phase of dating is over? They won’t enable you to develop enduring relationships with women based on strong foundations.
So, the final step is to work on your life besides dating skills. You need to make your day-to-day grind more interesting.
One of the best ways to do that is to develop interesting hobbies – bonus points if they are cool, energetic, socially-oriented hobbies.
Start a band, volunteer for an NGO, learn surfing, you name it. The name of the game is taking an interest in life and being passionate about exploring its options.
Develop a cool world that you draw her into and she is excited to be a part of.
That pulls together the vital things you have to continuously keep in mind to get on the Fast Track to Dating Mastery.
Review this document often to remind yourself of them and keep them top of mind when you’re working on improving your dating skills or making decisions about how to go about taking your game to the next level.
Now, to work. Take these goals inspired from the 7 rules and chase after them at full speed:
1. Quick & Easy Wins: Buy some quality image consulting, get fit with diet and gym, buy style quality– not quantity whether it is haircuts, clothes, shoes etc.
2. Information Discipline: Invest time in finding quality/ credible dating information and study it intensely. Get constructive feedback, but only trust credible sources.
3. Get Social: Take every opportunity to meet new people, go to at least 2 social events per week (more if possible). Build a network of quality male and female friends. Invest time in socializing instead of TV, films, computer games, fiction reading etc.
4. Doing is Understanding: Put more emphasis on doing than studying. Invest twice as much time in practicing behaviors in life as in studying after two weeks. After four weeks invest four times as much time as studying in practice. And so on.
5. Seeing is Believing: If you can afford it, take a bootcamp. Make sure you select a good instructor, the more tightly related the experience of the instructor to your situation and goals the better.
6. Accelerate Failure: Take every opportunity to fail with women that you can. Take risks. If you are wondering if you should escalate in some way with a woman, that’s a sign, just do it.
7. To Keep – ‘BE’ More: Continuously plan and take opportunities to develop your interests and your life experience.
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