Dating A Cougar
Book One of the Never Too Late Series
by
Donna McDonald
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SMASHWORDS EDITION
Copyright 2011 by Donna McDonald
Cover by Dara England
Edited by Toby Minton
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.
This book contains content that may not be suitable for young readers 17 and under.
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Acknowledgements
I would like to thank RA Bettez for taking the time to read this book several times and provide feedback. Your effort at helping me with the content was second only to propping me up emotionally when I really, really, really needed moral support to keep writing.
I would like to thank my fiancée, Bruce McDonald, for being my real life Marine inspiration. You taught me there are two things to say to our soldiers after their service, and I now say them to you with utmost gratitude. “Thank you for your service to our country” and “Welcome Home”. You are every hero to me. Semper fi.
I would also like to thank in advance every reader thirty-five or younger who reads this story with an open mind about what it means to be older and in love. I wrote this book for you so down the road when you are living where I am, you will have least have heard this from one other perfectly average woman. Love and sex are great at any age.
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Prologue
All Alexa Ranger wanted in the whole world was a hot bath and an early night’s sleep. Days like today where she ended up arguing with her entire staff made her seriously question why at fifty she still wanted to be the creative force behind her lingerie designs. She should be soothing herself with jazz music and bubbles. Instead, she was heading to a cocktail party still dressed in her work clothes, even though last minute socializing was not her idea of fun anymore.
But then who was she kidding? Nothing was fun anymore. Her moods shifted from contented to maudlin in the blink of an eye because of it. She hadn’t been able to wine, dine, or pleasure the restlessness away in a very long time.
Angry at herself for agreeing to something she didn’t want to do, she frowned as she pulled into the parking lot of Seth Carter’s condo, her mind finally slowing down enough to think about checking her appearance. She parked and flipped down a mirrored visor that had seen a lot of use.
Pulling a lip gloss from her purse, she quickly and expertly dashed it across the generous lines of her mouth.
Mascara and eyes still looked okay at least. No need to add more, she decided.
Her mineral powder seemed to still be keeping down the shine on her face; thank goodness for great foundation.
Alexa pondered her reflection, finally deciding against brushing her hair and making it flatter. Instead, she finger combed it until she had achieved what she considered to be an attractively disheveled look falling somewhere between slutty-just-out-of-bed and alluring come-mess-me-up-further.
Or if not, at least the lush hair she invested in maintaining would partially save her this evening from looking like frump mom in jeans and a shirt with a coffee stain decorating one breast.
Maybe she dreaded this evening because the crowd inside was just Seth’s business acquaintances. They weren’t even friends of Jenna’s. But in the end it hadn’t mattered who they were. Alexa had caved because her twenty-seven-year-old daughter rarely asked for anything from her these days. Stop by and meet Seth’s cousin Casey, Jenna had encouraged. Two minutes—that’s all, she had promised.
And it wouldn’t kill her to make the effort to meet Seth’s only remaining family, Alexa had reasoned, when she could no longer think of excuses to put off stopping by.
Unfortunately, her motherhood righteousness didn’t even last the whole trip down the sidewalk. She rolled her eyes at the loud throbbing music as she neared the front door. Great, Alexa thought, feeling the vibrations in her teeth. She was tempted—very tempted—to turn right around and call Jenna from the parking lot.
Before the idea of avoiding the torture could take stronger root, Alexa made herself push the doorbell. The person standing nearest to the door immediately opened it for her.
Alexa smiled in thanks and moved inside slowly, scanning for Jenna or Seth. Not seeing either, and not remembering where anything was from her one previous visit, she moved through the mash of bodies in the living area toward what appeared to be the kitchen.
*** *** ***
Casey’s first thought when he saw Alexa Ranger heading toward the kitchen and him was how much she looked like Jenna at first glance. His gaze lingered to study her as she wound her way through the people leaning against the sides of the hallway.
Males she passed either discreetly, or not so discreetly, followed her progress down the hall. Women stopped talking to frown as she moved by, especially when they noticed the men they were talking to being distracted by the attractive older woman.
Trained by the military to be a keen observer, Casey smiled at both the wariness of the females and the predatory glint in the gazes of the males. Jenna’s mother had to be at least a decade older, possibly two in some cases, than most of the people Seth had invited.
Not that he was immune to her allure either, Casey thought, despite the fact she was at least a decade older than he as well. It was damn impressive to watch the woman move her tall, curvy body through the crowd. Along with every other male she passed by, he couldn’t help noticing aging ex-model Alexa Ranger was even better looking in person than online or in the papers.
Jenna had definitely come from a master mold.
Once in the kitchen, Alexa sighed with what Casey could see was genuine relief to be in the clear of the people crush.
“Hi,” she said to him breathlessly. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen Jenna Ranger or Seth Carter, have you?”
“They’re around somewhere, but it’s probably safer and less trouble in this crowd to let them find you,” Casey told her with a casual smile. “I’m your bartender this evening. Can I get you a drink while you wait?”
“Got a bottled water?” Alexa asked, smiling back.
“We’ve got filtered on the rocks or carbonated with just a hint of lime,” Casey said, teasing. She was much more appealing than he’d imagined she would be from Jenna’s descriptions of her.
“Filtered—straight up, no rocks,” Alexa said, joking in return. “I need the hard stuff. It’s been one of those days.”
Casey nodded and filled a glass of cold filtered water from the refrigerator door. Behind him, he heard her laugh at the unglamorous source of her drink. She was smiling and obviously amused when he handed the full glass across the counter to her.
He watched her take a couple sips before she spoke to him again.
“Thanks,” Alexa said finally. “I’m Alexa Ranger by the way—Jenna’s mother.”
“You know I figured that out already. She looks a lot like you. I’m Casey Carter,” he said, introducing himself.
Casey put one hand on the counter to brace himself and support his bad leg as he reached the other hand over it for Alexa to shake. He smiled when Alexa set down her water glass and leaned her long body partially over the wide counter as well to make it easier for him to reach her.
“Casey? You’re the reason I stopped by. Well, it’s nice to meet you, fin—finally,” Alexa said, stumbling a little over the words.
When Casey slid his palm across Alexa Ranger’s, he was surprised at the electrical current that shot through him. He almost laughed when Alexa’s startled gaze locked itself to his. Looks like she felt it too, he thought.
How long had it been? Two years, he decided. Two years since he’d felt anything for a woman, much less an attraction that made his blood rush. Alexa’s pupils dilated, and Casey felt a tremble in the slender fingers wrapped around his palm.
He was as keenly aware of her reaction as he was of his own, but Casey could think of nothing sensible to say in reply to her introduction, mostly because he was too distracted by what was happening to the lower half of him under the counter. If it continued, he was going to have to adjust himself as soon as he dropped her hand. Not that he would mind, he wasn’t the kind of man who embarrassed easily, but Alexa might be a little shocked at the reaction she’d caused.
He tightened his hold on her hand just a little and watched her eyes darken to the color of storm clouds. Her breathing grew a little erratic, but she never looked away. As they looked at each other, suddenly an image of kissing Alexa Ranger flashed through Casey’s mind. The sigh he’d been holding in came out like a breathless groan of anticipation.
Casey never would have dreamed in a million years Alexa would respond to that kind of mating signal from him, but she drew in a sharp breath and blushed. His erection hardened even further, confirming the intense attraction.
When Alexa lowered her gaze to their still joined hands, it took every ounce of his self-control not run his thumb over her knuckles just to see what she would say or do.
She caught her bottom lip in her teeth, sucked it in thoughtfully, and swallowed hard when she released it. She cleared her throat, opened her mouth to speak, met his gaze again, and—said nothing. It made him want to laugh.
By now, Casey was guessing thirty seconds had passed with nothing more than a tight hand grip between them. She still wasn’t tugging her hand away, and he wasn’t moving to end the contact either. He still held tightly enough to keep her body stretched across the counter. Casey thought Alexa looked a little afraid he was going to yank her over it the rest of the way, which actually seemed a pretty natural next step to him, he admitted.
He opened his mouth, intending to tell her what was happening to him, to ask what was happening to her. One of them needed to say something, at least acknowledge the situation.
“Oh, good. You found each other,” Jenna declared loudly, entering the kitchen. Her gaze went immediately to his and Alexa’s clasped hands, and she smiled.
Casey let go at last, shocked further by his reluctance to do so. He heard the echo of Jenna’s words in his head as he considered how close he had been to making a serious pass at her mother.
Yeah, we found each other all right, he thought.
Casey watched Alexa take a large step back from the counter. Her face was a fascinating shade of embarrassed pink. Casey knew with the tiniest bit of honesty that he could probably cause it to darken several more shades.
Jenna put a hand to her mother’s face. “Mama, are you okay? Your face is so flushed.”
“I’m fine, Jenna,” Alexa protested, pulling Jenna’s hand from her forehead.
Alexa looked at Casey, and then turned her attention to Jenna and shook her head.
“I’m fine,” Alexa repeated. “Just a rough day. I need to make it an early night.”
“Okay. Let’s find Seth, and then you can go,” Jenna said, looping her arm through her mother’s. “Thanks for coming by to meet Casey.”
“Of course. It was nice to meet you—Casey,” Alexa said, pronouncing his name very carefully.
Casey could tell Alexa forced her gaze to meet his once more even though awareness of their attraction colored her face still.
“It was good to meet you too,” Casey said, smiling in approval of her nerve. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other.”
Alexa nodded absently, which told Casey she was already trying to rationalize away what passed between them.
Too bad, he thought. He wasn’t willing to forget it so quickly. Thanks to her, Casey now knew for sure the trauma of the last two years hadn’t made him impotent. And he wanted to know how Alexa Ranger had simply touched his hand and turned him to stone.
Picking up the glass of water Alexa had left behind, Casey put his lips where her lips had touched the glass, right over the lipstick marks he licked with his tongue. He drained the contents and lectured his body about this intimacy being all it was ever going to get of Jenna’s mother. His body’s response to the command was to ignore it completely.
Laughing at the irony of his intense arousal to an inappropriate woman, Casey sighed and adjusted himself beneath the counter.
Chapter 1
“Why so glum, gorgeous?” Sydney asked, unwrapping his sandwich with great anticipation. “Trust me. I made sure you got double avocado.”
Something was up, Sydney thought. Normally, Alexa would have been three bites of ahead of him by now.
“I don’t know. Do you think fifty is old, Sydney?”
Alexa Ranger watched her thirty-five-year-old assistant and good friend take a giant bite of his club sandwich and swing his gaze to hers in shock at the same time. Then she watched him pound his chest to keep from choking as he attempted to swallow the bite around a coughing fit.
At six two with a trim waist and shoulders like a football player, the brown-haired, brown-eyed Sydney could easily be the most handsome man Alexa had ever known. He designed and wore his own line of clothes and looked like a male model himself.
When Sydney didn’t answer right away with one of his usual smart-ass quips, Alexa concluded he was really surprised by the question. Surprise was okay. If he looked at her with pity, she would probably throw her sandwich at him.
“It’s all about the quality of the preservation,” Sydney said at last, joking to give himself time to think.
In the ten years he had known and worked for Alexa, Sydney had never known the woman to be truly insecure about anything, especially her age. Not that Alexa hadn’t let herself go a little bit in the last couple of years. A lack of male companionship had taken a negative toll on her. She hadn’t shown any real interest in anyone specific in some time, nor in making a fashion statement. Most days the woman wore jeans and a shirt, which in Sydney’s mind was barely better than a uniform.
Still—insecure? Alexa was not the type of person to worry about much of anything for long. Alexa was brash, boastful, demanding, and many, many other things, but the woman was not at heart insecure.
Pulling himself from his contemplation, Sydney noticed Alexa was intently waiting for his reply to her question. Sydney made himself focus on the possibility of being fifty. Naturally, his stunning life partner came immediately to mind.
“Do I think fifty is old?” Sydney said, repeating her question. “Well, Paul is fifty-two. I certainly don’t consider him old. The man just gets sexier with each passing year.”
Despite being starved, Sydney took a smaller bite of his sandwich this time just in case Alexa shocked him again.
“It’s different for men,” Alexa said with a wave of her hand, hating the self-pity in her voice and the dark cloud of female worry over her head. “Men get better with age, and Paul is proof. Women—well, women just get old, Sydney. Even women like me.”
“Okay, this is too weird,” Sydney said, putting down his sandwich. “That was definitely self-pity I heard in your voice. What’s wrong with you today, Alexa? Years of good maintenance are paying off big-time for you, honey. You look great.”
Alexa shrugged her shoulders. She enjoyed her looks. In fact, she built her business on her looks. The problem was that looking younger at fifty didn’t make her feel as good as it had in her thirties or forties.
Now, regardless of how she looked on the outside, inside Alexa felt fifty.
“Oh, never mind me. Forget I said anything. I don’t mean to whine—you know I hate whining.” Sighing over her depressing thoughts, Alexa took another bite of her sandwich.
Sydney hurriedly finished his last bite and leaned back in the chair. “When was the last time you had a date?” Sydney asked, inspiration striking. “I mean a real date where you dressed up and went out somewhere nice.”
“Don’t remember,” Alexa said around a bite. “It’s been a while I guess. Nine months, maybe? It’s harder at my age to find someone interesting.”
Which was mostly true, Alexa thought, if you didn’t count the attraction she’d felt shaking hands with Casey Carter last month. The retired Marine was appealing, but definitely too young, and definitely too related to her daughter’s boyfriend. Her life was talk show worthy enough as it was—she certainly didn’t need to add to it.
“I can’t believe turning fifty is making me this crazy. Most women have their mid-life crisis at thirty or forty,” Alexa protested.
Sydney laughed. “Needing sex is not a crisis, honey. It’s a highly solvable problem,” he told Alexa, studying the shifting expressions on her face with a frown.
“Who says I need sex?” Alexa asked, rolling her eyes at the statement.
Okay, so maybe it had been nine months ago with a friend, and who knew how long ago with a man she genuinely desired. Maybe, Alex thought, maybe she even secretly worried on some level about never wanting sex again, because not dating had been a relief instead of a sacrifice. Determined not to sink into an even deeper funk dwelling on her voluntary celibacy, Alexa took a big bite of her awesome sandwich and chewed.
Sydney looked at her and smirked. “Do you have a booty call man you haven’t told me about?”
“No,” Alexa said sadly. “Not anymore. I gave him up too. He started talking about setting up a regular time for us every week. I stopped seeing him about nine months ago.”
“Bad call. Abstaining does not suit you, Alexa. You are a vibrant woman. You need sex,” Sydney argued. “I could hook you up with one of my straight friends. I have several who think you’re hot.”
“Good lord, you’re offering me a pity date?” Alexa laughed, shocked under her amusement. “Am I that bad off?”
Sydney nodded. “Your insecurity is showing, honey, which is so not like you. I think you need someone in your life who can make you feel young.”
“Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t even let Regina and Lauren fix me up with dates. I prefer to just meet a guy and follow a little feeling that says he’s worth getting to know.”
“Well, I hear you there. Certainly sounds like the best motivation, but when was the last time you had a feeling about a guy?” Sydney asked with a grin.
“Last month actually,” Alexa confided, revealing the truth to Sydney, who would never betray her, mostly because he valued his life too much. “It happened with Seth’s older cousin, but Jenna would simply kill me if I put any moves on him.”
“So don’t tell her,” Sydney said, laughing. “Swear the man to secrecy.”
The idea of asking the former Marine to indulge in a secret love affair with her struck Alexa as more funny than possible. What would Casey Carter want with an older woman like her when he could have any number of younger, more attractive models?
And if she did get that far, what would she do with Casey when they weren’t in bed? There might be different problems dating younger men, Alexa concluded, but all dating had the same damn depressing outcome for her.
Not to mention there would likely be hell to pay if Jenna found out.
“Right,” she smiled, drawing the word out. “You expect me to date Seth’s macho cousin, and convince him never to mention it to Seth or Jenna? That’s a bold play, even with my dating history.”
Sydney stood and gathered their lunch trash. “Since when is Alexa Ranger afraid of being bold?”
Alexa shook back her reddish brown mane of hair, her eyes glittering in amusement as she laughed. If only she could find a straight man who understood her as well as Sydney. He knew just which buttons to press.
“What would I do without you, Sydney? You’re absolutely right,” she said, nodding, not wanting to argue further about his plan.
“Of course I am. Now go be bold,” Sydney replied sternly. “And make notes so you remember the details. You know how forgetful people are at your age.”
Alexa swore at him, laughed, but ultimately blew Sydney a kiss as he headed back to his desk.
Even if Casey wasn’t a possibility, now that Sydney had all but dared her to date someone younger, the idea was churning inside her. However, a decision this important needed more than the sanction of a gay friend. It required the advice of female experts, Alexa decided.
Fortunately, she was already meeting her two favorite experts for dinner that evening.
*** *** ***
The food at Lucinda’s was always good. If it hadn’t been, Alexa would have rousted the manager for a heart-to-heart. Not just because she was part owner, but because she truly loved meeting there for dinner. Part of what she liked was that the management trained the staff well on deflecting unwanted attention from its more famous customers. Anyone with a press badge or camera had to check their electronics at the door.
Both she and Regina felt safe there.
“So when was the last time you felt a genuine interest in getting to know a man,” Alexa asked the two women seated at her table.
They had demolished three plates of appetizers in less than twenty minutes with no complaining about calories. It was a point of honor between them never to feel guilty about food.
Regina—aka Dr. Regina Logan—was polishing off the last of the veggie pizza.
“I love pizza. It’s such happy food. And all those carbs make for a good snooze after. Did you ask a question, Alexa? Sorry, I was in the middle of a pizza orgasm,” Regina explained.
Alexa laughed when Lauren McCarthy—one of The McCarthy’s of Falls Church, Virginia—rolled her eyes at Regina’s response. Lauren had the sexual sensibilities of a twenty-year-old and the sexual urges of a forty-year-old. It was not a happy combination in a woman who worried daily about what people thought of her. Stranger still, Lauren risked her reputation weekly by hanging out with Regina and Alexa, definitely two of the most sexually notorious women in Falls Church.
While she waited for them to think about it, Alexa thought about the differences between the women she trusted with her deepest secrets. Regina and her work as a sex therapist drew the interest of the press regularly. Fortunately, Alexa’s notoriety had dwindled when she’d stopped dating so much. Only Lauren avoided the press, rarely even making the society pages. They teasingly called her Saint McCarthy’ because the woman never did anything even remotely scandalous.
The worst thing Alexa had ever known Lauren to do was buy a vibrator after her divorce, but what single woman didn’t own at least one of those?
Alexa looked at Regina, smiling as the woman licked cheese off her fingers.
“I asked when was the last time you felt a genuine interest in getting to know a man,” she repeated.
Regina frowned as she wiped her hands on a napkin.
“Wow. I just realized I don’t have an easy answer to your question. That’s so depressing. I guess it’s been almost a year for me,” she said.
Alexa looked at Lauren, who squirmed whenever any of them talked about sex. Only Lauren could make forty-two look as innocent as twenty, Alexa thought, amused.
“Like you want to get to simply know him, or you want to—you know, get to know him in the biblical sense?” Lauren asked.
“Biblical sense,” Alexa answered around a grin.
Lauren sighed, “I guess I’d have to say about two years ago and for yet another womanizing man. The one before him was six years ago when I first got divorced. I developed an urge to date my lawyer.”
Regina arched an eyebrow, “Your lawyer? Honey, that was gratitude, not a sexual urge. Haven’t you ever wanted a man so much you just went for it?”
“Absolutely not,” Lauren answered honestly and sincerely. “Technology is a much better solution and more satisfying.”
“No, it’s not,” Alexa said gently, but with great conviction. “There’s nothing like falling into a satisfied sleep after you’ve had a man inside you two or three times. There’s no substitute for that kind of connection.”
“True. Have you been connecting to someone lately, Alexa?” Regina asked, smiling at the thought of her gorgeous friend getting lucky.
Alexa laughed and sighed, “No. I’m just a little attracted to someone, that’s all. It’s been a while for me, too. It’s complicated because the man is a lot younger than me.”
“Younger can be good. How much younger?” Regina asked, inspecting the appetizer plates for any lingering bites.
“I don’t know,” Alexa said frowning. “Why?”
“Less than eight years makes you a Puma. Over eight years makes you a Cougar,” Regina said wisely, as Lauren nodded in agreement. “That kind of hookup is happening a lot these days, and women are benefitting greatly. I wish I had an eye for younger men. I could have a lot more dates. Unfortunately, I get irritated with their conversation long before the mating urge can happen.”
“So who’s the younger guy you like?” Lauren asked, truly interested in the answer.
Both Lauren and Regina looked at Alexa, who just stared back silently, blinking. Alexa’s reluctance to share his identity had both of them giggling.
“Hmmm . . . this is interesting, Lauren. Alexa doesn’t want us to know. Is the boy-toy in question at least of legal age?” Regina asked Alexa, teasing.
“Of course. He’s around thirty-eight I think,” Alexa finally confessed.
“You’re a Cougar then, but honestly—thirty-eight is not that young,” Regina exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “When you said young, I was picturing a twenty-something who checked himself out in the mirror every two seconds.”
Lauren laughed at Regina’s description because it fit her own mental image. “I was thinking the same. Anyone over thirty-five is fair game, Alexa. Though I’m a bit like Regina, I like men closer to my own age. Younger men seem to be too anxious and needy.”
“Amen, sister,” Regina said, high-fiving with Lauren and making her giggle.
“So neither of you would pursue this if you were me simply because of his age,” Alexa repeated, wanting to make sure she understood.
Regina and Lauren looked at each other. Surprisingly, it was Lauren who piped up with “depends on the amount of attraction.” Regina just smiled widely and nodded in agreement.
Alexa closed her eyes and crossed her arms. “This is not helping,” she complained.
Regina removed the white linen napkin from her lap and folded it into a neat triangle before placing it on the now empty plate in front of her.
“Do not try to fool the sex therapist, Alexa,” she said ominously, making Lauren giggle again. “You’ve dated slightly younger men before. What’s the real problem with this guy?”
“The only younger man I ever dated was only two years younger than me. The term younger barely applies in that case. But you’re right, the real problem is he’s Seth Carter’s cousin Casey. He’s the older one that raised him,” Alexa confessed at last.
Conversation paused while Regina and Lauren absorbed the news.
“Jenna would probably kill you,” Lauren finally said, wincing at how dramatic that sounded.
“Yes, exactly,” Alexa agreed. “I’m not sure any man is worth risking my life.”
Regina squinted hard as she considered the frown on Alexa’s face and the disappointment reflected in Alexa’s gaze.
“I agree it’s a tough twist, but I wouldn’t let it be the deciding factor. Jenna and Seth might not work out anyway. If you don’t take this chance, then everybody loses. Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish, Alexa. This may be one of those times,” Regina told her.
Alexa nodded, but none of what they said made her want to call Casey up and ask him out. The idea of a fifty-year-old woman dating a thirty-eight-year-old man just smacked of desperation to her. If the press found out, she would make the headlines again—Aging Model Dates Young Marine. She wasn’t ready to deal with the public or private fallout that might happen. She liked being less notorious.
“Do you think fifty is old?” Alexa asked them sadly, knowing her age was the biggest reason she wasn’t even considering Casey as a potential.
“You’re kidding, right?” Lauren proclaimed, shocked at Alexa’s sad tone.
Alexa sighed. Talking to Regina and Lauren was turning out to be worse than talking to Sydney. No one seemed to understand her concerns.
Regina swore and got up from her seat to gather her things. “I have to go catch a plane, so I’ll be quick with my two cents on the subject. No, fifty is not old, and you make it look better than thirty anyway. Lauren and I are using you as our role model. You know damn well that at forty-seven, fifty’s just around a corner for me. Go have sex and shake this mood, Alexa. You need the oxytocin high from intercourse to fight the hormonally depressive funk you’re in right now.”
“Hormonally depressive funk? Is that a precise medical opinion, Dr. Logan?” Alexa asked sarcastically.
Regina just gave her a look that asked if Alexa needed a little more proof, or a lot more proof. She would happily give either to her friend.
“Fine. I’ll take care of it,” Alexa said sarcastically. “You’re probably right, anyway. Sydney said the same thing.”
“No, I’m probably right about the weather changing, and that the plane ride will be bumpy to Boston,” Regina told her. “I am always right about sex.”
As they split the bill and debated the tip, Alexa thought about how best to follow Regina’s advice. Instantly, Casey Carter’s image popped into her mind and her heartbeat picked up. No, she told herself, putting it away in the realm of fantasy and not reality.
Instead, Alexa made herself think about the ever-available Todd Lansing who was a friend-with-benefits as Jenna would say. A couple years ago her comfortable relationship with Todd had been okay with Alexa because it kept her from bed hopping while she casually dated other men. Now, the thought of using Todd for gratuitous sex held no appeal, much less desire.
The only man who sexually interested her at all was not a good possibility. Which was just as well, Alexa concluded. She didn’t need another empty sexual relationship without the remotest possibility of happily-ever-after attached.
Chapter 2
The moment Casey Carter walked through the door of the Eddy’s Bar and Grill, his attention zeroed in on Alexa Ranger sitting at a polished dark wood table with two other women.
Since meeting her a month or so ago, his body had developed a radar for her presence that refused to be ignored no matter how much his brain argued about it.
Looking around, he saw Seth was not waiting for him as promised—no big surprise there. Luckily he was having a good day and hadn’t needed to use the cane, so he chose a seat in a dark area of the bar near the door.
It was as far away as possible from Alexa’s table, but still with a view of her. Slipping off his sunglasses, he pulled the Marines logo ball cap lower over his eyes, not wanting to draw attention to himself while he studied her.
Casey guessed Alexa had to be at least forty-five years old despite the fact that she looked much younger. The intensity of his attraction to the older woman was a mystery to Casey, but the reality was that when Alexa was within view, Casey couldn’t stop himself from meticulously planning what he would sexually do to her and with her if he ever got the chance.
And because Casey had that reaction even the very first time he’d met her, he had been avoiding even minor social contact with the woman for the last month. Jenna and Seth had finally given up trying to include him in family activities.
Not that Alexa seemed to have the same problem.
Looking at his watch, he saw thirty minutes had passed in the bar now without her even once glancing his way. Evidently, Alexa did not have the same physical radar for him, though he still believed she had been attracted to him too.
As Casey studied Alexa, he considered it a point in her favor that she didn’t constantly scan the bar for men like one of her companions was doing, or look around in disgust like the other one. No, Alexa just kept on talking, her focus completely on the conversation.
His phone buzzing with an incoming text message finally snagged his attention away from Alexa.
Can’t make it after all. Last minute problem keeping me here. TTYL.
He texted back a reply.
WTF? Drinking your beer and mine then. Your fault if I don’t make it home.
Seth’s obsession with work matched any Casey had ever had with the Marines. Only eight years older than Seth, Casey felt a couple decades ahead in understanding about what was important in life. There had been some rough times for him, but he hadn’t let a hip replacement or a wife dying of cancer take him down for good.
Casey watched Alexa shift her attention when the door to the bar opened. Even at a distance, Casey could read the depth of her concern in unsmiling lips pressed in a firm line.
He shifted in his chair, willing his body to relax when all it wanted was to get up and go to her—comfort her. It was the craziest reaction he’d ever had with a woman he barely knew.
Casey’s attention finally shifted to the person Alexa had watched come through the door when the woman in question passed by his table.
There was a blur of blue and a whiff of some expensive scent that made him think of silky sheets, pulled blinds, and ceiling fans. From the tall heels all the way up the seamed stockings to the more interesting curves outlined in the skin-tight dress, the woman was a dream come true for the lucky guy she’d dressed to please.
Wow, Casey thought, that is a take-me-now-I’m-yours dress. Though it had been a while since Casey had seen one, he still recognized them.
And thank God for that, he concluded.
Dragging his attention away from the woman, Casey noticed pretty much every man in the bar was watching her with great interest. Then he noticed she was heading directly to Alexa’s table.
When the bartender yelled the woman’s name, Casey swore silently. The woman was Alexa’s daughter—Seth’s girlfriend.
So where was Seth? Seth hadn’t mentioned anything about Jenna in his text. What detained Seth at home if it wasn’t Jenna?
Casey drummed his fingers on the table. Some clichés were truer than others, especially where military men were concerned. All Casey’s instincts were telling him—no, swearing at him—that this situation was not good. So Casey put his sunglasses back on, picked up his beer, and discreetly moved to the other end of the crowded bar nearer Alexa’s table where he could do some further reconnaissance.
Or in other words, where he could eavesdrop on their conversation.
*** *** ***
Alexa’s mother radar went on full alert when Jenna walked into the bar. Seeing Jenna in full-out woman gear was a thrill, but the look in her daughter’s eyes spoiled the perfect picture. Alexa sighed when Jenna frowned at all the males avidly watching her swinging curves move across the room.
Jenna stopped at the table and put her hands on hips, mirroring a physical gesture Alexa recognized as one of her own. Her heart contracted with love.
“Is there an age limit to join this hen party?” Jenna asked, her gaze meeting her mother’s.
“Yes. Lauren barely makes the cut, but at twenty-seven you’re good,” Alexa teased.
“Wonderful—because I really need a drink,” Jenna said.
Alexa offered her still nearly full glass of red wine to her daughter who took it while still standing and drank greedily.
“Well, don’t you look yummy tonight. If I were a lesbian, I would make a pass,” Regina said, giving Jenna an admiring perusal.
“Thanks,” Jenna bent forward to brush her lips across Regina’s forehead, “I’m glad the dress is getting an appreciative response from somebody.”
Alexa’s eyebrows rose into her hairline at the comment, but Jenna looked away before she could ask the obvious question.
Lauren looked at Regina. “Lesbian? You? I can’t even imagine you giving up men,” she said snidely.
“I don’t know. How much harder could being a lesbian be?” Regina asked dryly, pushing her auburn red waves back from her face. “When I suggested male enhancement drugs to the last man I hoped to be intimate with, he told me I needed to grow up. I told him he needed to get it up, patted him on the hand, and left.”
Lauren looked at Regina in complete and utter shock, because that was appalling behavior—even for Regina.
“You didn’t really suggest your date take male enhancement drugs, did you?” protested Lauren, blushing at the thought. “You probably hurt his ego. If you’d just slipped it in the man’s drink at dinner, he’d have thought you inspired lust.”
“Lauren, I would never trick a man into taking male enhancement drugs. Besides, drugging someone is a felony. Don’t you ever talk about sex with the men you date?” asked Regina. “Communication is key, you know.”
“I have no need to discuss sex with my male companions. My dates are strictly platonic, and I like it that way.” Lauren insisted, saluting Regina with her mineral water. “You are the only person I ever discuss sex with, Dr. Logan.”
Regina rolled her eyes and took a long drink of her pomegranate martini. “I feel sorry for you then.”
Alexa breathed a sigh of relief when Jenna belly laughed at the argument between Regina and Lauren, and smiled the first real smile since she’d come into the bar.
Looking at her vital, lovely daughter, Alexa couldn’t help wondering for the umpteenth time what Jenna found so appealing about Seth Carter. The man was good looking, but not very physical. Jenna worried about his lack of desire constantly and complained about it now and again.
After meeting Seth’s cousin Casey, Alexa was baffled more than ever about Seth. Casey’s sexuality had plastered her over the kitchen counter with just a handshake.
Sighing at the irony, Alexa figured she was the only mother in history who ever worried about a man not putting the right moves on her child. But she wanted Jenna to have a real relationship, and well—she would like to have grandchildren someday.
“Sweetheart,” drawled Alexa, “if your ego needs stroking, all you have do is turn around. There are at least eight pairs of eyes glued to your lovely rear right now.”
Jenna sighed, walked around the table, and leaned over the stunning brunette who had borne her for a lingering hug.
“If you were standing up, Mama, you know every man would be looking at you instead of me,” she said.
Alexa crushed Jenna to her in a fierce embrace. “Not today. That shade of blue is amazing on you and matches your eyes perfectly, which is only secondary to what it does to enhance your—”
The sound of glasses dropping interrupted Alexa. It was followed by someone big hitting the floor with a loud thud and swearing.
The other women at the table giggled, and then laughed outright as Jenna straightened red-faced from the hug.
“I guess I shouldn’t have bent over so much,” she admitted, face flushed with embarrassment.
A booming voice yelled, “Jenna Lee Ranger, no more bending over the table. I can’t afford any more losses here, cutie pie.”
Several people in the bar laughed. The women at the table laughed louder than anyone. Jenna’s blush spread upwards to the roots of her hair. She pulled out a chair to sit, but could barely manage to wiggle into it because the dress was so tight.
“Sorry, Eddy,” Jenna yelled over her shoulder. “I’m sitting down now.”
Alexa patted her shoulder in support, while she worked to stifle her own laughter. It was not nice to laugh at your child—your only child.
“Well, that was mortifying. What makes an intelligent woman think a dress like this is a good idea?” Jenna whispered, complaining to the women.
She sighed, laid her head back in the chair, and slid down as unglamorously as possible into the seat. “I can’t sit comfortably. These three-inch heels are killing me. The dress is so tight I can barely breathe. I’m an idiot.”
Alexa thought Jenna looked more like a pouting twelve year old than an accomplished woman of twenty-seven. When Jenna walked into the bar, Alexa had internally raised two fists in the air and screamed “Yeah!” Being an architect in a profession mostly populated with men, Jenna rarely bothered with her feminine side.
Men, Alexa fumed. Only a few were even worth the expenditure of hormones.
“I bet you were thinking Seth Carter would want to chew that dress off you with his teeth,” Regina said, eyeing the dress with envy.
Jenna opened her mouth to reply, but Lauren interrupted and patted her hand.
“At your age Jenna, hormones cause a temporary form of female insanity. Men briefly look good for a few years, but the urge passes eventually.”
“Stop that!” Regina scolded Lauren, smacking her hand off Jenna’s. “You’ll scare her. Just because you swore off sex years ago doesn’t mean you get to warp Jenna.”
“Ouch! Your watch scratched me, Regina. And I did not swear off sex. I swore off men. It’s a different thing altogether. You of all people should know that,” Lauren protested.
Regina turned to Jenna and said seriously. “Sex with men does not have to ever go away. Or at least it doesn’t have to if you want to keep on living and not become a dried-up prune at age forty-two.”
Alexa looked at her friends in both amazement and wonder. There couldn’t be two more different women or two more differing views on men. Jenna certainly had unusual role models with the three of them.
She focused her piercing sapphire gaze intently on her daughter’s slumping form.
“Well, I bet you were thinking the dress would once and for all get Seth Carter’s attention off his cell phone and focused instead on you. Just like you thought the red dress, the pink shorts, and the black lace bra I gave you would do the trick.”
When Jenna didn’t reply, Alexa gave her daughter a long, knowing stare. “Sweetheart, you are one hundred percent sure Seth’s not gay, aren’t you?”
Jenna’s chin lifted at the question and she pulled herself completely upright in the chair.
“I’m sure, and—no,” she answered her mother. “Seth’s not gay. I don’t know what the problem is, but it’s not being gay.”
Alexa knew quite well the good and bad of men. She loved men, but in her experience, most men were better in bed than out of it.
Jenna looked away from the women staring at her intently, and then finally brought her gaze back. “I wanted to surprise Seth. When he answered the door, the phone rang. He took the call, turned his back to me, and left me standing in the doorway.”
“Left you standing the doorway? In that dress?” Shocked, Regina could only shake her head.
“Was it bad timing, maybe?” Lauren suggested, choosing to believe there had be an answer other than Seth didn’t want Jenna as much as Jenna wanted him.
“It’s always bad timing with Seth,” Jenna told Lauren, sighing and unable to keep the sadness from her voice.
She looked at her mother.
“Earlier this week Seth kissed me good night, and I know—damn it, I know he was interested in that moment. I mean I’m not completely stupid about men.”
“Jenna,” Alexa scolded. “You’re not stupid at all. Any man in this bar would happily take you to bed. This is obviously about Seth and not about you. Don’t even go there.”
Jenny looked at her with huge eyes, and Alexa winced. She sighed and reached for Jenna’s hand. “It was an observation honey, not a suggestion to take a strange man to bed.”
Of all the people who thought poorly of her dating habits, her own daughter was the worst critic. But Alexa would never have let a man she dated make her feel as bad as Jenna felt because of Seth’s lack of response.
“Let me rephrase my comments,” Alexa said, having had a lot of practice soothing her daughter’s ego. “I admire your sincere affection and longing for Seth. He’s damn lucky you came to see us instead of picking up the first great-looking guy you saw. If Seth Carter is worth the emotional investment, he’s yet to prove it to you. Most men would never have turned a sexy woman away. If you don’t believe me, ask Lauren and Regina.”
Jenna looked at Lauren.
Lauren squirmed, then sighed. “Your mother is right. Most men would never have turned you away, not in a killer dress and those heels. The message you’re sending is loud and clear.”
Jenna swung to Regina. “So am I being a doormat? Am I letting Seth make me feel bad for no reason?”
Regina hesitated, but as usual opted for honesty over diplomacy.
“Yes.” Regina agreed. “It’s probably because you love him.”
“That’s just great,” Jenna pronounced, leaning down and banging her forehead on the table. “I am an idiot then.”
Alexa and Lauren looked across Jenna’s bent head to Regina. Regina tugged at her Rolex and pulled herself reluctantly into Dr. Logan mode.
“Jenna, listen. Seth may have reasons for rejecting your advances,” she softened her tone, “reasons that make sense only to him. You should consider dating other men. It might at least help you decide if Seth is worth the risk of more rejection.”
Jenna’s forehead was still pressed to the table, so Regina leaned over and touched Jenna’s hand to make sure she was hearing.
“If you keep repeating this specific rejection pattern with this particular man, you put yourself at risk of believing the problem is yours alone. Seth may be passive-aggressive about it, but he is rejecting you, not the other way around. You wouldn’t even be here if he had reacted the way you had a right to expect.”
Jenna raised her head and sighed in defeat. Alexa saw the decision in her eyes before she spoke, and she hurt for her daughter.
“No matter how much I care about Seth, I refuse to spend my time wanting a man who’s never going to want me back the same way,” Jenna reached out, linked her hand with Alexa’s and squeezed hard. “One Ranger woman already did that. I’m not repeating the same mistake.”
Alexa brought Jenna’s hand to her lips and kissed it in support. She was grateful there was at least some understanding between them. She was also grateful she’d always opted to tell Jenna the truth, even about her father.
“Okay—to hell with feeling sorry for myself. I’m so done with that,” Jenna said firmly.
She stood and lifted her chin as she smoothed the dress down.
“I love you all,” Jenna told them, her gaze scanning the table. “Thanks for letting me vent. I need to go home, change clothes, and try to forget about tonight. I’ll call you tomorrow, Mama. Is Daddy coming this weekend?”
“I left the invitation open. I’ll call you when I hear for sure.”
Alexa watched her daughter walk out not acknowledging the men who looked longingly in her direction.
“Men,” Alexa spat the word like oath. “Life is so much less complicated when you don’t want one.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Lauren said, lifting her mineral water.
“Well, I’m not drinking to such foolishness,” Regina informed them. “And since when have you given up on men, Alexa? I consider you the ultimate optimist for trying so many for so long to find the right one.”
“Very funny, Dr. Logan,” Alexa said. “For your information, I haven’t seriously dated a man in a couple of years.”
Alexa paused for dramatic effect, sipping her now meager glass of red wine, thanks to Jenna.
“But it doesn’t mean I’ve given up sex.” Alexa winked at Lauren, who grinned back.
Regina saluted Alexa with the rest of her drink, and polished it off.
“Thank God for that at least. It’s use it or lose it after menopause starts, honey.”
*** *** ***
Behind them, Casey sat in silence trying to absorb all he had heard. First, a big one for him was Alexa was fifty instead of forty-five, which made the age gap between them even wider than he had thought. He would have to think about whether or not it bothered him. Certainly, knowledge of their exact age difference didn’t stop him from wondering if Alexa would heed her friend’s advice to use it or lose it.
Since the idea of Alexa using it with another man bothered the hell out of him, Casey supposed his reaction likely answered his question.
And just who was the red-haired woman talking so much about sex anyway? They called her Dr. Logan. Casey made a mental note to look her up online. She was the one scanning the room for men earlier. The other woman, a polished blonde, seemed to not like men at all.
The entire conversation made Casey wonder just what kind of woman Alexa Ranger was. Not that Casey was a prude or anything, he just preferred a woman with at least some modesty.
Okay, so maybe he was used to having more experience than the women he’d been involved with sexually. He had been his wife’s second lover and last one. The thought still pleased him. That didn’t make him sexist, did it?
He didn’t even want to contemplate how many lovers Alexa had had looking like she did. It was one more thing he would have to think about before getting involved with her.
Still, the worst bit of news to ponder was that something might be seriously wrong with Seth. Did he really send Jenna Ranger away tonight? Holy shit if he did, Casey thought, swearing silently as he refused to believe it.
Casey would bet his entire military pension Seth was not gay. The boy had not slept around indiscriminately as a teenager, but Casey had bought him box after box of condoms when there had been a woman in his life.
Seth was not gay—incredibly stupid, definitely—but not gay.
Eavesdropping had seemed like a good idea to Casey when he’d moved around the bar. Now the only part of the conversation Casey was glad he’d heard was Alexa Ranger wasn’t currently dating anyone.
Chapter 3
Just a few more months was all he needed, Seth thought. The import and export business Seth started two years ago was taking off at last. Soon he would have to hire an assistant to help him keep up with it. After that, he could finally slow down and enjoy what he had accomplished. He could also pursue his relationship with Jenna without constantly being interrupted by work problems.
Seth tapped his phone and ordered flowers to be sent to her home along with an apology. Tomorrow he’d call in person and apologize again. Seth was becoming well practiced at saying “I’m sorry. I’m a jerk. I’m crazy about you, so you have to forgive me.”
Normally, Jenna didn’t hold a grudge, though Seth expected this time it might take longer. Before, she had at least complained about being ignored. This time Jenna had just left without saying anything. Silence was never good.
After finishing his apology note, Seth pressed send on his phone just before Casey came through the door. The look on Casey’s face instantly propelled Seth back to being a teenager again.
Casey glared at Seth. “What is your problem? Are you gay?” he demanded.
The question was so unexpected Seth dropped down on the couch and laughed. “Are you drunk on two beers? I’d be mad, but I can’t believe you’d ask such a stupid question. Have you seen Jenna? You know, the incredibly hot woman I’m dating?”
“Yes, I saw Jenna. In fact, I saw a lot of Jenna, and so did thirty other horny guys in Eddy’s bar when she bent over a table to hug her mother,” Casey informed him.
Seth opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it again and put his hands over his eyes.
“Did you really send Jenna away tonight?” Casey asked, his brain still not able to wrap itself around the thought. “In that dress?”
“No! I did not send Jenna away,” Seth protested. “I got a phone call from Japan I’d been waiting for all evening. Jenna must have left while I was talking. When I finished the call, she was just—gone.” Seth ran a nervous hand through his hair. “It’s okay. I sent flowers and an apology note. Tomorrow I’ll call her. This will be okay. It’s happened before.”
Casey swore viciously and glared at Seth.
“Yeah, I heard all about how it wasn’t the first time when Jenna was complaining about it to her mother and friends,” Casey threw up his hands. “Do you have any idea how much trouble she went through to try and seduce you?”
Seth closed his eyes. “I know. I messed up—badly. I sent flowers,” he said quietly. “This will be okay.”
“I don’t think flowers are going to make up for Jenna sleeping alone tonight when she so obviously had other plans. You better hope she’s as much in love with you as you are with her. Otherwise, she’s going to be looking for a man without a cell phone,” Casey said, taking off his coat and hat.
“You know, I’m trying like hell to put my expensive Harvard education to good use by getting my business going. Now all the work is finally paying off,” Seth insisted. “I just need a couple more months, and then I can have a different kind of life.”
“I hope you get lucky then,” Casey said, “because you sure as hell aren’t being very smart about Jenna. If you don’t have time for her, cut the woman loose.”
Seth watched as Casey walked off mumbling about dresses and stupidity, leaving him digging in a side table for the pills Seth took to settle his stomach.
Seth refused to think tonight was the disaster his cousin seemed to think it was. He was in love with Jenna, had been in love with her since the first time he saw her.
There was no choice except to believe things would work out. If not easily, well he’d just see to it they did anyway. Seth was very good at making things work out.
*** *** ***
A couple weeks later, Casey stood outside the building where he knew Alexa Ranger worked. He had accused Seth of being dumb about Jenna, when Casey was being just as dumb about his attraction to her mother. When a woman was on a man’s mind as much as Alexa was on his, it was time to do something about it. Or at least, it was time to explore it and see if it was worth doing something about or not.
The doorman of the building opened the door and nodded respectfully as Casey walked into the lobby. Casey could literally feel the man’s curiosity and concern about the limp.
“Morning, sir,” the doorman said with a smile, holding the door for Casey. “Let me get the door for you.”
“Thanks,” Casey said, noting the man’s concerned gaze dropping to the cane.
“I’m good—just a military injury,” Casey said with a shrug, before smiling and walking on. “Cane beats a chair any day.”
“Indeed it does, sir,” the doorman answered with a respectful nod. “Thank you for your service to our country.”
“You’re welcome,” Casey replied, nodding respectfully in return.
At the elevator, he scanned the building key looking for Alexa’s business. Casey called the elevator and moments later was standing in the middle of the most chaos he had ever seen. A giant sliding door off the lobby was opened, revealing what looked like it should have been an impressive art gallery, but was instead filled with several nearly naked women standing around in nothing but underwear.
After almost two years with no woman in his life, the sight of so many scantily clad ones had Casey momentarily frozen where he stood. A multitude of pleasing female faces looked up at him briefly. One or two smiled and finger waved, causing Casey to grin, but eventually all of them went back to their tasks, which seem to include all of them talking at once.
Casey shook his head. There was a time not too long ago when his presence would have earned more than just a brief glance. One of them might have broken away to come speak to him, at least until Susan chased her away. Maybe the cane was slowing him down a bit. Until recently, he hadn’t given much thought to what women might think about it, or him. He wondered how Alexa would react to it.
“Can I help you?” a distinctly masculine voice asked from behind him.
Casey turned a little too quickly and stumbled sideways into the tall, incredibly handsome man belonging to the voice.
“Damn,” Casey said. “Sorry about that.”
“Easy,” the man said, righting Casey and making sure he was stable before letting go. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Let’s not add to your military injury.”
Casey looked surprised at the guess, but the man merely smiled. “Military? Did the doorman call you or is it tattooed on me somewhere? I thought they removed the label before I left,” he said.
“It’s the haircut—direct give-a-way, and you carry yourself like a solider. Judging by the haircut,” the man said, his gaze inspecting Casey’s head with a serious perusal. “I would guess you were in the Marines.”
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