Opening Doors: Getting Connected
by That Writing Chic
Smashwords Version
Copyright 2011 That Writing Chic
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Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - You Need to Get Connected
Chapter 2 - Use What You Know to Get What You Want
Chapter 3 - Offer Something of Value to a Valuable Person
Chapter 4 - The Value of an Assistant's Assistance
Chapter 5 - Say Thank You and Mean It
Chapter 6 - The Importance of Being Sociable
Chapter 7 - Opening Doors
Chapter 1: You Need to Get Connected
There is a belief that each person on this planet is connected to one another through no less than six people. There have been studies and even television shows dedicated to that theory.
Several years ago, when I was working at a television network, the President encouraged us to come up with our own mission statement.
One of my self-defined statements read: “Mentoring my way, reducing six degrees to two or three.” When I wrote that statement, I had in mind developing relationships that would lead me to greatness as well as assist me in helping others do the same.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a relationship builder. While I haven’t always fared well in the area of romantic encounters, even as a teenager, my mother constantly told people that I “never meet a stranger”.
Raised in a strict religious environment, I attended conventions on a regular basis, where people gathered from all parts of the country. An avid volunteer, I met people from near and far and maintained contact with them. Something about me connected with just about every person I met and made it easy for people to speak with me.
However, in high school, I was not one of the “cool kids” or even that popular. Years later, I have worked in the music and television industries and now, in my career as radio host and freelance writer, I interact with people whom I have watched on television, heard on the radio and whom I admire from afar. How did that happen?
While it was not an overnight transition, I do believe there were some key components that taught me the value of relationships and how to develop them. More valuably, the importance of setting boundaries and constantly evaluating those who I allow to be members of my “circle of influence.”
In these financially challenging times, many people have varied skill sets and still find themselves unemployed. What they need most is an opportunity to showcase their talents to the right people. How can you make that happen?
This e-book is NOT about making contacts. For those of you who are old enough to remember what a rolodex is, think of it this way: Would you rather have hundreds of pieces of paper organized with names and telephone numbers of people who have the potential to help you reach your goals OR would you rather have the direct cell phone number to just ten people who have access to those people and will get a response in a matter of minutes?
This e-book IS about how to meet the people who will get your foot in the door and beyond. Consider this a starting point in your personal plan to building successful relationships. It is written to provide real life examples, based on my personal experiences in an effort to help the reader get connected to those who could greatly impact your future.
The lessons derived from the stories contained within will significantly reduce your circle of influence from six degrees of separation from every human on earth to two or three when consistently applied over time.
While most of the advice will contain specific examples from the entertainment industry, it is information that can be used no matter your path to success.
I offer you an insider’s look into principles and techniques that have worked for me. In no particular order, what follows are what I believe to be key contributing factors to my success.
Some of the stories and the lessons learned in them are the same, only expressed differently. However, each story is unique in that it is true and it happened to me. Each approach is different, although hinged on several basic principles.
As you read this book, please keep in mind that common sense and manners go a long way. I've heard countless horror stories of people wanting to get a foot in the music or television industry who have been rude or even disrespectful in their approach.
It is my belief that no one should work a job just because they have to pay the bills. It is my belief that each of us was created to do something so incredibly great, that it would not get accomplished if we did not do it. It is my belief that if we pursue our life’s passions, we will enjoy a quality life and improve the lives of those around us in the process.
Let's start opening doors and getting connected.
Chapter 2: Use What You Know to Get What You Want
The first key to building relationships is determining what you want and whom can best get it for you. Depending on what you want to accomplish, that can vary greatly. Regardless of what you are trying to do, the idea is to get as close to the top as possible.
Often, the best way to do that is to develop a relationship with an assistant. Yes, a secretary. Whatever the person you want to get to calls them – they are the doorkeeper and can make or break your relationship before it even gets started.
In the late 80’s I wanted to break into the music industry as a manager. I had a group that I wanted to present to a major record label but I had no connections and no idea about the process.
All I had was a name.
I called the main number of the record label and asked to be connected to the office of the person I wanted to speak with. Once the assistant answered the phone, I asked if the executive I wished to speak with was available and I referred to her by first and last name. The assistant asked my name and after giving my first name, I added “I understand if she’s tied up, but can you please let her know that I will be in New York next week for three days. Can you find out which day she is free for lunch and I will check back in a few days?” She agreed.
A few days later, I called again using my first name only. I remembered the assistant’s first name and referred to her by it. I said that I was heading into a meeting and wanted to check in to see if she was able to book the lunch for me. This time, I let her know that my schedule was getting full and I was about to head into town and wanted to firm up my plans for the week. The assistant said that she hadn’t and I told her that I could imagine how busy the executive was and how challenging it was to manage her schedule and that I would check back in on Monday.
Early the next week, two days before my “trip to NY”, I called the assistant again. This time, I apologized for being a bother and let her know that my schedule was full, but, that I would be back in NY in another two weeks, so if the executive had time I would gladly accommodate her.
Later that afternoon, guess whom I got a call from? The record label executive!
She asked for me by name, and when I asked who was calling and she identified herself, I nearly fainted!
She asked me if we had ever met and where, because she could not remember. I came clean with my ploy and she laughed and agreed to a meeting in her office. While I didn’t get the group signed, I did take advantage of my time to ask questions about the best way to work for a record label. Her assistant referred me to a temp agency and imagine my delight when just months later, I got work in the copyright and licensing division of the label, and sat just a few feet away from her office.
When I first decided to call the label, I had no plan. After the first call, I wasn’t sure if I would call back again. I was so terrified that I didn’t even leave my phone number.
Based on my prior history as an executive assistant I realized a few things. An executive assistant never wants to offend anyone the boss has a good relationship with. They would rather err on the side of being friendly to a stranger than assume that the person does not really know the boss.
At that time, the music industry was very different from what it is today. There were so many music seminars and conferences and chances to meet an industry executive one on one that it was quite likely that I had met the executive and she just couldn’t remember. This would not have worked if this was an executive who never left the office and there was no opportunity for any type of chance encounter. I took all of these factors into consideration before even trying to contact the executive.
The more I reasoned about my plan, I realized the simple truth: I would only get one of two answers. Yes or No. Once you remove fear of rejection, what else do you have to lose?
Clearly, the executive did not allow the assistant to schedule the lunch because she was not sure if I really knew her. However, once I agreed to leave my phone number, curiosity got the best of her and she decided to make the call.
I believe this worked out well because I was creative in my approach and because once confronted, I told the truth. Nothing that I said to the assistant was harmful to anyone involved.
All things considered, the most vital piece of information that contributed to my getting a meeting with the executive was knowing who she was the fact that she frequently attended local music industry events, so the chances of us having met before was at least somewhat realistic.
Chapter 3: Offer Something of Value to a Valuable Person
The next aspect of opening doors is to realize the value of the person you are seeking to meet with. Often, we assume when approaching industry executives or those in positions of power that they recognize that we know their worth.
I once “managed” a music producer. I put the word managed in quotes, because I later found out that he was under contract to another management company. Prior to learning that my agreement was null and void, I attempted to secure him a publishing deal (a contract with a record label to produce music for artists on its roster),
Again, I knew who to go to, I just didn’t have a relationship with him.
Could it POSSIBLY work again?
I called the main number for the record company and asked for the office of the executive. My approach this time was to try to get the executive on the phone. I kept asking the assistant when was the best time to call to reach him and was upfront with my wanting to get a meeting about the producer I managed. He didn’t budge.
While I persistently continued to call, I was respectful. I walked a thin line while trying to get the information I needed. In the interim, I began asking around about the executive and I hit pay dirt.
I found out that he never left the office for lunch. His assistant did, however, take lunch like clockwork and when he stepped out, the executive answered his own phone.
So, I changed my approach. The next time I spoke with the assistant, I told him that I would follow up again, however, I didn’t want to call when he was out to lunch. The assistant gave me his personal lunchtime and the following day, I called when I knew he wouldn’t be around.
Once the executive answered the phone, I immediately said “You don’t know me from a can of paint and I know that people call you all the time and say they have music for you to listen to, but, I’m different. I value your time. In fact, for 15 minutes of your time, I’m willing to pay you $100, when are you free?”
The executive laughed hysterically and arranged a meeting. Did I sign that producer? No. However, I ended up developing a long-term relationship with the executive who always provided me with leads for an artist I was managing at the time.
What got me the meeting? Was it the way I dealt with the assistant? Yes, but, more importantly, the executive realized that if I was willing to put up $100 of my hard earned money for 15 minutes of his time, there was no way I would waste it. I let him know that I valued him and although he never took the money, I earned it many times over.
The approach in meeting executives should always stem from YOU having something to offer THEM. Clearly, the money I offered was just a symbol of the fact that I valued his time. Of course, my desire was to get a meeting with him, however, that’s what so many other people wanted from him as well.
What separated me from the rest of the people he had never met with was that I devised a plan to let him know that his time was just as valuable to me as it was to him. Also, I didn’t ask him for an hour. I asked him for fifteen minutes – more than enough time for him to access whether or not he would meet with me again.
Chapter 4: The Value of an Assistant’s Assistance
The role of the secretary, administrative assistant, executive assistant and personal assistant vary greatly. However, one thing is universal: these people all have the ear of the executive you want to have access to.
Having been in just about all of the above capacities, I understand that they have a significant amount of influence on whether or not a phone call is returned and a meeting is set. They are the main line of defense and while they are loyal to their bosses, how they represent you will greatly affect the executive’s first impression of you.
Further, I learned that there is camaraderie among people in that same job function and forming a common ground with them has always worked in my favor.
In my last role as an Executive Assistant, I represented a very high level person in the television industry. When working for senior level executives, you are in direct contact with the assistants of other senior level executives and often the executives themselves. Building relationships with them is crucial to your immediate and future success.
My desire was to be in production. While I was an assistant, I did my job extremely well. I became known as the "go to person", because I was very resourceful. When people know that they can come to you for an answer or to get things done, you are well on the way to getting connected to others.
Not one time while I was an Executive Assistant did I turn down any assignment or feel like anything was not a part of my job description. The more responsibility I got, the more I wanted.
I devised some ways to make my boss more efficient and continued to build on relationships with Executive Assistants in the company.
One day, the Executive Assistant of a VIP in the music industry called to set up a meeting with my boss. Because of the reputation of the VIP, I was super excited to let me boss know that he called.
With absolutely no ulterior motive, I began to communicate with the assistant of the executive on a regular basis. When I got promoted, I let the assistant know. When I left the company, I let the assistant know. Every step of the way, I kept in touch - just often enough.
Subsequently, the major artist on the label was looking for remixes and a friend of mine contacted me to see if I knew anyone on the label. I sent an introductory e-mail. Although I was requesting a favor, it was plausible. This was an attempt to meet a need of the record label. Although the music submitted was not used, it was another step in building the relationship.
I recently began writing for an entertainment magazine. One of the articles I pitched was to ask several celebrities the same question. I contacted this assistant and before the end of the day, I scored a response from one of the foremost players in the music industry.
While I was an assistant at a television network, I developed some of my own production projects. When I needed a place to shoot the project, I got it with the help of several assistants. An assistant helped me secure the music lounge. An assistant helped me with getting the proper clearances and credentials to film in the building. An assistant helped me with sponsoring a meal for the crew. An assistant helped me secure the talent and set up times for their segments.
For those of you who are thinking "they did their jobs", you are right. However, I put together the shoot in less than two weeks. No one was under any obligation to make themselves available to help me.
Not only was my timing tight, but, I was still working 9 to 10 hours in the office, BEFORE shooting in the evenings, so there were many accommodations for my schedule, especially for a project not directly related to my work there.
In most cases, I had previously developed a relationship with the assistant. One of the assistants however, was someone that I only spoke over the phone with to schedule meetings. I don't know why I was hesitant to invite her to lunch, as I had with most of the others throughout my tenure at the network. However, she aided me tremendously during this project and since that time has become one of my closest friends, although she's moved to the other side of the country.
I don't know today if any of those assistants realized the significance of their help to me. As a result of my efforts on that project, I was offered a position in production. My project could not have been successful without the help of every assistant involved.
Chapter 5: Say Thank You and Mean It
The first time I learned the value of saying thank you was in high school. At my graduation, I was awarded a certificate for Excellence In Secretarial Skills and presented with a check for $50. The award had been started by an alumni who was then working as a Secretary at the Board of Education.
As soon as I cashed the check, I purchased a thank you card. I hand wrote a heartfelt note stating that I was honored to receive the award and went directly to the post office to mail it.
Less than a week later, I received an envelope from the Board of Education. Enclosed was another check for $50 with a thank you card to ME stating that in all of the years she had given the award, not one person had ever taken the time to say thank you.
That reaction left such a profound effect upon me that showing appreciation became a way of life.
I attended a screenwriter’s conference several years ago. I made it my business to introduce myself to each of the speakers and ask a question related to their expertise while I had their attention. I asked for the e-mail address of each of them, and they readily gave it to me.
Once I returned, I began to apply the principles I learned. After I began to see measurable results from the application of what had been shared I sent a note to each of the instructors, including the Association’s President.
The message addressed each person and spoke of how I applied what they had taught.
Not only did I receive a response from each of them expressing their gratitude, I was able to build on those relationships.
In his follow up response to me, the President of the Screenwriter’s Association asked if he could interview me for the launch of their online newsletter. Of course, I obliged.
Last year, when I started my first online radio show I reached out for three of the instructors. Two agreed to be guests.
Whenever you are in a room of experts who are doing for a living during the day, what you dream of doing while sleeping at night, take advantage of it.
Walk up to them and ask the questions that could change your life. More importantly, ask for an e-mail address. Immediately send them a thank you expressing which part of your conversation stood out to them.
Make it about the thank you and nothing else. Let the relationship develop at a natural pace.
Chapter 6: The Importance of Being Social
A major tool in opening doors and getting connected today is social media. No matter your aspirations, chances are there is a blog, network or online group that can get you connected.
For those of you who shy away from social media, here are a few facts on what I've accomplished through social media:
Rebranding myself as a writer.
Rebranding myself as a radio talk show host and producer.
Established an audience for my radio show.
Created an interactive community.
Landed a job on a top reality show.
Obtain high profile guests for my radio show.
Landed a freelance magazine writing job.
And this has all happened within 9 months.
If you are already connected to the major social media networks, you should consider the message you are communicating with each interaction.
Who are you trying to reach?
Who would you like to connect with?
What impression are you leaving your audience with?
Social media is your chance to build a presence and brand without any financial investment. However, how well you get connected and the strength of the relationships you develop will require a significant investment of your time.
One of the social media networks that has served me best is Twitter. The account is free and easy to set up. When I chose a screen name, I picked something that described who I am as much as it described what I do.
While many people update the world on their every movement, my use o has helped me build a platform for my book, radio show and blog.
Every morning, I tweet a series of prayers. Initially, it started because I wanted to write at least one thing consistently. People started responding to the prayers I put up. They began to expect the daily posts and would tell other people about them.
The more I posted, the more people read and referred other people. Throughout the day, I interacted with people and discussed pop culture, current events and lifestyles in general.
I'm not saying you have to post prayers. You need to offer people something of value. Your tweets can be about your music, about your writing, about an invention, about your kids - whatever it is, give people a reason to connect with you so that doors can begin to open on your behalf.
My followers continued to grow, and I continued to send out the daily prayers. One of the challenges of Twitter is that you must write complete thoughts in 140 characters or less. Initially, this felt limiting, now it's second nature.
Because of my name, That Writing Chic, people began to interact and ask questions about writing. Those who read my bio wanted to know more about my work, the television shows I worked on and my experiences in entertainment in general. Little did I know, I was building a platform for this e-book.
Simultaneously, I created a radio show on Blog Talk Radio. I began promoting my show on Twitter. When I was interested in book a guest on the show, I would do a search for their Twitter account. After making sure it was actually the person I was seeking to contact, I would begin following them and reading their tweets. Their short bio usually provides a link to the celebrity official website, so I would go there to get the agent, manager or press contact.
I've had some celebrities follow me back and send me private messages. Recently, a celebrity retweeted several of my morning prayers. The result? I gained more than 300 followers in less than an hour. More people became exposed to my work, just because I get up every morning and post prayers. Another daytime celebrity tweeted in response to a question I posed for use in a magazine article.
Then, I started my "300 Steps to Greatness Initiative" and brought some of those Twitter followers over to my blog.
That's just by using one social media platform.
As with any social media, be cautious and let common sense prevail. Don't expect results if you have not put in the work.
Chapter 7: Opening Doors
Now that you have seen how I have been able to open doors and get connected throughout my career, it's time for you to do the same.
First, determine what doors you want opened to you.
What are your goals?
What natural skill sets and talents lend themselves to you accomplishing your goals?
Should you pursue additional training?
Have you done the research to determine the path you should take?
Who can help you most with achieving your goal and how can you connect with them?
My journey did not start nine months ago when I became active in social media. It did not begin when I landed a temp job at a television network. In fact, a radio show was not even on my radar until several years back and then it was just a passing thought.
A crucial part of my success has been research. In each of the stories presented, I did not enter blindly into the situation. I put in countless hours researching all I could find out about each person I wanted to come in contact with. And when I met someone new, I continued the same process.
I didn't always write my plans and goals on paper. More importantly, I spoke of the things I wanted to do and began taking steps towards them.
Recently, I started the "300 Steps to Greatness" initiative. While the decision to implement the project took a few days, the plan was already in my heart for many years. The purpose of the initiative is to encourage and support others to take 300 steps throughout the year to reach their overall goal. My goal is to make this the year I DID, not the year that "I should have or could have".
Don't expect anything to be handed to you. Interact regularly with those who are doing what you want to do.
Put your best foot forward and kick down doors while getting connected!
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About the author
That Writing Chic is a Blogger, Mom, TV/Film Writer, Producer, Editor, Director, Friend of God, Radio Talk Show Host/Producer and Freelance Writer (not necessarily in that order)!
Connect with That Writing Chic Online:
Website: http://www.openingdoorsbook.com
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/thatwritingchic
Blog: http://thatwritingchic.info
Radio Show: http://blogtalkradio.com/thatwritingchic
Smashwords Profile: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/thatwritingchic
Coming Soon
Opening Doors: Developing Relationships
Opening Doors: Getting Connected Copyright 2011 That Writing Chic www.openingdoorsbook.com