Excerpt for Idle Light by Gabrielle Bryant-Gainer, available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Idle Light



A Collection of Poetry







Gabrielle Bryant-Gainer

Copyright 2009






978-0-557-10709-4







Magdalena


In the meadow where gentle rains fall
Her soul slips slowly to the light
In a place with no recall.

Her sins that never did appall
This love that was so right
In a place with no recall.

Some say she was sinful
Did she keep her lips locked tight
Safe behind the wailing wall?

In a blessed land so small
Her soul came relentlessly to fight
Those words should they befall.

You can still hear them wail
To a soul from the depths of night
In a place that was to fall.

Did the people hear her call?
With such a raging heart of might
She was banished from them all
In a place with no recall.




Buddha Ballerina


guided by the gentle toes
she lends herself a prayer
graceful gallant airs
we rise as ballerinas

and move in currents
and currents in waves
as light behaves as
we behave

marionette with invisible wings
until spotted by a distant star
the blinking of the little things
looking out from afar

dancing in the lonely moonlight
where all the silences refrain
before the mood begins to wane
we dance like it means nothing

and leap into the space
like we're falling from grace
only to land in perfect pose
guided by gentle toes




Germany

He's so easily Hermann Hesse
he's in with the highs and lows
his lucid prose infuses feeling
you can hear his heart beating
making readers rehearse
their better version of 'me'.

He paints you Germany
expressionist smears of black and sorrow
turning thoughts to watercolor blues
he says: The Bar on the corner has
a maroon sign in the window
and it is looking for someone like you.

It says you are welcome here
with your soft margarine legs
my Madeline, my hummingbird
sleepless nights in Germany
loneliness in Germany
Germany, so you will not forget me.





Lithium

I could be the murderer
and I could kill the mole
But I live here in this home
Of broken windows
So I wait for the darkness
Before I'm taken
And turned away
From that which buried
all your reflections
becoming mere impressions
Ghosts of enmity..

I could mimic this bright madness
I could be the phony hare
take your invitation to race you
getting faster and faster
until I've gone too far
and all my energy is gone
with all of your killing
I must be your favorite one

what a darn thing you say
with this knife you wield of gravity
like I am an evil core
walk around me girl
You bite me like I made you
I am no evil whore, you see
a reflection of eternity

But damn me for we all will
Who scam me and betray
You’ll throw me off this tower
and then you watch me bleed
little girl who had me
little girl who wants me
to open the door
as the mother blows away.

The things you said
When you were dead
Are no more...
I waited for you there
Now you are empty
and I have led thee
to a world of men
with led eyes
and sand kingdoms
dead upon their thrones

But if you were to take my hand
and let me take of you
I would instill a bravery
of pain and solemn truth
I have wished so long
for a healing bestowed to you
and my love has blown away
How can I tame the shrew?


A Call to Echoes

The beauty that was to sustain
this love, its cause of their death
servants sweeping stars over the pain
while they still compete for breath

Exposing her forehead to the ghosts
Her mouth hidden by a silver spoon
Head hanging loosely by a noose
Their portraits of perfect trust now gone

If you see the man in black
Hark once to the darkening call
Somewhere no one will go at all
The room it has become at last

This sham of love. . . a call to echoes


Uncomfortable Truths

Do you have the time?
I ask him this question
when he's not looking so busy
and his eyes turn into frowns...
pulling the watch up to his face
he says, "It’s 9:11".

Numbers, dial tones, throwing bones
We explode as we pose
being so effortless, a child still told
with these words
that the world's beauty could all be gone
tomorrow.

And we do remember you
these tears that have stung our cheeks
they died, and we were buried in
a world full of song-less sorrows.

Sing a song of tears, you say
to guarantee our freedom
these rights are God-given
can you hear the tick of the time
will you finish my rhyme?


Hold Me, Love


You may not love me when I say I Love you
I may not fill your brim with wine
you may not know me, nor love me at all then
you may find me all out of mine

I am fading tonight
where I once swam in wild seas
smudged dark with sleep
on those holy Saturdays

You never knew you'd be so full
hold me close, hold me still
our family said
the world is not cruel

Time and time again
we are feeling hopeful at the sun
how we weep forever
do they ever wonder?

You fill one million galaxies
as my eyes shine with the stars
ours being a true ingenuity
tell me how we’ve gotten this far

You speak of what I do not know
as you hold me close
you promise
you are spilling echoes of me


Circle around the Sun

Her lover is turned into one
who has seen the most intangible
in waves of bright red ribbons
that are spiraling into heaven;
it has been mistaken
by the folks in their carousals
as the most beautiful halo:
a circle around the sun.

She was once taken captive
by the moon you see
and suspended by the stars
in perfect symmetry;
Love could not have her for
this circle that was spun
and had forever sent Him
circling around the sun.

Their laughter applauds the madness
of the man with burnt wings
for he mourned his soul's flame
those revelations of becoming.

Yet he wonders how it took so long
his heart beating upon the sky
as each morning she wonders too
why am I not also the one who
is circling around the Sun?

She wants to know herself
can't give her love to anyone else
his sight is strained; and he sees
her eyes no longer seem to believe.

He speaks her name before she’s gone
he loves her though she’s no longer one
and then she circles around the sun
in the most peculiar splendor.


The Vase


It was the perfect containment
a stark picture
a family gift
she picked those roses to remember
a child long gone, forever missed
forever
as she cut them all with sharp scissors
for in some way this would soothe
the damage it had done.

she performed sacred surgery
on her beloved memory
she tried to forget--her baby's first steps
The long gone happily ever after

in each somber finality, it took her closer
pearl-white flowers beckoning rapture
cleansed by early rain in September
tangled beneath those inky stains
berries in a little one's hands

the grasses gone to gray and thundering
berries mangled and blood red
soaked in angry sweetness
'I can bleed too--dear' she muttered
crackling likened to underbrush
swift child's feet, scrambling to reach her
mother's hand reaching out to touch
To at least whisper
before she slipped
and fell into shards.


The Watcher


On this path you now tread
Be careful of the onyx bred
The cruel pulp of ashes spread
From the revenant kindred

the cacophony of hosts
minds that gangle through
An angel’s orb of honors
giggle gaggle giggle

Hide my spell
Do it with grace
Let it move
in fleetly ways

In the dark hours
Winsome little fae
Marvel at our vital life-blood
It causes such a wraith

The claw that holds the heart
From re-animated pasts
A spirit only wanting
To calm you down at last

Amaurotic walls hold us
Like vacant stalks of corn
Cackling fires obsessive
We sparkle, we burn

In an attic full of leaves
Autumn’s sweet asylum
In the copses and trees
What a cold malign

Boxed up and forsaken
Pungent decomposition
Paths that intertwine
In a timorous design

Beauty’s breath only
A flake of light
Bright with a spark
Of a pallid life

Full of imagination
Nocturnal shrills of sirens
It’s the crux of our condition
To seek a soul’s predations

Storms of rain
Of melancholy snow
Winter twilight smiles
This lurid smile

The walls creaking
With loquacious conversation
To the bed and the window
And the sublime moon

A maestro of lullabies
Feeding sleep into our bones
Delicate light spills into a
Darksome night of stars

Dread my sepulchral scars
Dread their empty stares
Of blighted seduction
Follow these instructions


The House and the Lake

It's precisely what I had come here for
To find that lost gem among stars
The dewy drawings in green marking a map
Curling upon corners in my uncharted house

It feels somewhat ghostly and unapparent
Still, I lived here where the autumns stayed long
In the moment you listen to the cacophony of hums
the birds whistling in the pines, then you learn

I never appreciated the absence of them
That family, we made up a sort of tune
That left out the lake’s sorrow
Frogs propel downstream to their own

Still cold, in my boyfriend's sweater
I wonder about this empty home
Where the rusted nails flail their arms like saviors
Instead, he thinks I am wondering about him

The smell of cologne still fresh on him
But here in the sweet grass I fail
Where the wild violets grow with sweet lilacs
In patches, I think about how sad I feel

Yearning to appreciate the diminished grace
The gaiety since then has been replaced
And climb in from the shore into the deep
But something inside me listens for them sleeping.










Sanity

this liquid stain marks me sane
nonsensical sensual redemption
the candle flickers magenta rays
songs the black bird could not sing
He smelt of sullen dreams despite
sulfuric doors where I had gone

a tragic black horse that night
oh this golden suffering, holy light that sleeps
like a sweet retreat, so soft and fair
those sultry tears she could not bear

with no song to sing to bones
save the dark crushing night
it awakens me, brings me further
to her bright furious sight


no pondering to speak of now
save these specks of trickery's spite
she spent her time bedeviled as those
celestial witches spelt nightmares
into a forsaken night


flowers turned by candle light
blood heart suffers in that requiem
with starving torment
those fairies make their sinners scream
it was a magician's dream






Dreamers

day greets me: I see the blue sky and fluffy clouds
It sees me it seems
I dreamed about having a little boy
At my side, we were racing down a hill
And I told him to watch out but
But he fell down

The only sound I heard
Was the fanfare and the bubbling fountain
Within the sweet sound of feeling
Forbidden, but independent

She sat on the chair in the room
And told me to tell her the truth
I told her it was rude
To ask so much of me

And so I ran, escaped the fanfare
And took that little boy with me
Out of the dream and now he’s here.


Tumble


It was a rainy Saturday
the cherry blossoms appeared by the windows
just before the wind carried them
far off into the fields and streets
they never fell, they flew like dreams
carried in pink white currents

In dewy darkness, I was waiting
when it seemed so sad to tell my story
of how I wanted things to be
but I forgot after awhile how I wanted
to stop dreaming

and I took all those medications
and my brother turned forty one
but I just wanted an excuse to get away from myself
I started drinking and smoking and thinking
this might all start over one day
and the dog barks at strangers
I thought I had a voice, but it must have tumbled away.








Ocean Girl


An Ocean girl
not a Virginia girl
now drenched in midnight
who has slept by the fire-light
and who would wake up always
looking for the sunshine

I'll catch the stars
with my fishing rod
I am an ocean kind of girl
I see this world in sea green
in deep torrents
of perpetual blues

Although I've been planted firmly
at the edge of your bed
I'm moving to Carolina
to let my body be
the waters amidst shells
strip my seal skin
and swim in the deep
find myself an
Ocean boy.








Spring Time


Spring came and I spent
hours with the sun
sweet cake and ice cream
marked April
when my brother turned sixteen

as the softness of life
turned ghosts into gravel
life did quite literally spring
I forgot about the moon
late nights became soothing

birds laughing at me and at time
boys on bicycles traveled
the newly cobbled stone town

the days marked by
confetti cherry blossoms
yellow
and new beginnings

Came rain on Sundays
reminding me I was still
young and timeless

I kept trying to write a book about
the future which had already
arrived at the present
still contemplating
the casualties
her spiraling
ecstasies

Both did turn and smile
The father and his son
forgotten by the blue

But I picked a forget-me-not
and then I remembered you
I could not forget
the light in your eyes
most people...still know how to
smile about sadness.

Seven


Some days I would like
gestures of compassion
days soak up wine, soft jasmine
sifting through the air

The wind sleeps in
and rain comes in a scattered rage
I would like her to notice me
But honey is sweeter

You're gonna run babe
like you have never been in love
the sun will torment you
For a hug

Each morning turns in the seven day cycle
I am learning to write memories in smoke
leftover from a night of sleepy cigars
thinking of tomorrow when you forget me

The day will be wrapped in glory
The whitest shimmer of clean and gone
But the passageways are always blaming me
On the progress of our nothings

Maybe then they will stop laughing
As they walk away
not fill their mouths with silences
And just for a moment
I'll be seven, seven and beautiful
Just maybe...


Back to Italy


She notices that I've been here
a long time at her side
Holding her hand and
Talking words which do not escape
When reason does.

Holding red flowers
a lover of everyone
Lost to no one
Under the radiant sun.

We’re brought into a new world
with spoken matters of concern
dousing those lost-in-thought
blue eyes to burn.

The shimmer of regret, abated
as life newlywed, in red
Created from devotion
Praying for an opening in heaven.

someone please
let me in
or at least help me
Make a soft landing

a pond of thoughts arriving
wordless ideals leave
How I cry, how he cries
How she cries...in that caravan in the sky.


The fog lights
Over the Italian mirage, sheets of magic
twirl in the wind

she suggests some company
Perhaps a bottle of Merlot
The ecstatic purpose
beyond the illusive truth
of memory.

And happiness is a subtly
Her soul barks at the wind more fiercely
Than the babble of the brook
Running loosely between
My fingers.



All the memories she lost
Those answers that seemed to have failed her
While she forgets faces and their smiles
Still she listens at the symphony
Of life, just happy to be making
One more cycle to infinity.

Sometimes trailing off like a bicycle
spinning like a ribbon in a hurricane
the sun passes into lost worlds
There's no such thing as pain.

She is painting all these pictures in bones-
the reality of her son
Where road leads to somewhere, this I believe is true
But each day will C r u m b l e
like golden bread crumbs
for birds in the morning

Forget me not...she says through the picture
I will remember her, I know this is true
But some days I wonder about her
when I stare into the skies of blue.





My Country


I know of my country as
Such an outcast, as though she has seen
The soldiers cry, before they died
as if in one instant their cavalry rush by
To carry them from death’s sting.

Perhaps a sort of Magdalene
Her voice carried oft' times by the wind
She'd be gathering her disciples in
From across the wild country-side

And although their eyes were still so heavy
From such awful rivalries
Upon her bosom, they'd rest their heads
With blood soaked knees and hearts of lead
She'd heal them of their afflictions
Bringing out joy from the lost and weary.

We'll soon find ourselves praying
They're carving out crucifixes in the evening
A history sleeps in the trees--but we're all still alive

As our faces fall, in low circles haul
The cross was made of pine
We haunt the stone walls and lurk
Through the wills of the fairy.

Riding the canals
Sifting across the valley
Into the impenetrable mountain mist
The spirits of West Virginia never sleep
They are my family's legacy-
Who bother all those who wish to do harm to
The land we love so dearly.





In the shallows everything is cold
I never ask, but I try to just listen
As the crickets seem of chirping out
At the darkness, as the phantoms
Wail, there is a silent distress here

As if the air has been punctured
By an invisible spear
And each body has been sown
Into her fertile sphere


Stony caskets sleep
And I dare venture in between them
Where they weep

I can hear the calling of spirits
From whispering clouds of gray
From the rooster’s noise at dawn
And the midnight owl’s preying

The veil is lifted, and the witches come out
To whisper superstitions and play


Yes, the folk magic has never gone
We still celebrate her youthful glee
We'll celebrate the history
This is my country.



Children Laughing


pebbles crumble underfoot
as fragrant flowers bloom
her voice is imminent
he holds her hand
with sunny days woven into song
sprinting through violets on tippy toes
softly strumming that classical tune
the brooks bubble with the sound of
children laughing







Maybe the Moon Knows


The world spins on a dial
I am spinning too
In between skipping stones
Children now throw my way
I am the deep blue river
they learned to swim
when the days were cold
and fathers couldn't drink
I am the riverbed
I'd like to pull a flower
from my side, and
let you know
how much I hate your pride
But maybe the moon knows
Let me throw my boat in
And we'll set sail
Off this boulder
To the maybes
The everything.

Emily’s Bell


And there's no console to this game, life
And though the whistles may be running
Around your head, the soldiers might be dead
We can figure this out, truly
If you let a moment pass on that second hand
Watch the dial spin, the path is slippery here
Where is Virginia Woolf?


Her voice might be lost in the ballet its clear
Then tippy toe through fire on a day so fearless
To the river where she wondered to the moon
Perhaps King Midas had a world of gold
But like me, not one hand to hold.
Who needs common sense? It gets in the way
On the perfect morning of Emily’s bell.

Honey


I dipped my ink then wrote in pen
about the saliva in your mouth
that made my heels seem to click
across the bridge in the gap in your smile
in our pastel dream worlds

You were buying me Irises, & child-like fancies
It's not like either one of us was alone you see,
with your tongue, you'd caress each curve
of me
until I wept, I was so happy
and you screamed until I went deaf

your body rose out of the steam
you were an obsession, I guess
and we were so young, I lost all my bones
Stubbing out the ash in each cigarette
You wondered if we truly were, together.

But we were honey.



To be a Fairy


Mother, have you heard of the Elves,
Who guard themselves in hidden realms?
Oh what a gift it would be,
To be one of the fairies!

Brother, have you heard of the silly Sprites
And foreign wars waged with winged knights
Who journey far and like Fossegrim
Become laughter and bubbling light?

Sister, have you heard of the ageless Sylph
Immortal souls worth more than wealth
Showering the earth with feathered wings
And did you, sister, ever hear one sing?

Mother, have you heard of the earth Elves
Guarding secrets in their forest realms?
"Oh what a gift it would be
To be one of the fairies!"

Brother, have you heard of the Genie
Or maybe you've heard of Leprechauns?
Little Irish shoemakers dressed in green
No one knows what treasures they're hiding!

Sister, have you heard of the Dryads
Tree nymphs that rarely one perceives?
They're bound to their trees eternally
And love to disguise themselves in leaves!


Father, have you heard of the gnomes
They live mainly underground,
Ruled by Gob on his crystal throne?
They'll care for almost anything.


Although the world of the Fae may seem to be
A little small, a little unseen
No fairy will escape your eye
If you clap three times and really try!


"Oh what a gift it is to be
A fairy, a fairy!
Oh what a gift it is to be
To be one of the fairies!"




Catching Fireflies

I am in a boat on some river
And my brother put the anchor in the water
Don't drown out my voice, sir
I just want to be heard

Dreams like this make me strange
I wake up and say to myself
this time, this time
I will do alright

cool spring breezes
remind me of the times
stuck in repetition
waiting for a crime

we caught fireflies early
before the moon fell down
and stumbled through darkness
awaiting the blackest crown


Rainy Days

'don't steal my cigarettes'  the sun comes in shining
and the wind blows, 'We never talk' I try to say
beautiful dreams pull me far--beyond time
but the fantasies fade upon my discovery

I wake up---sad, and I wonder why I spent
So much trouble learning to wake up?
because the dreams are becoming more real
Every night is like slipping into another place

'I want to take a vacation' and I pull the cigarette
Closer to my lips- inhaling more exhaustion
'it's the loss of blood' at my fingertips
then I'm dreaming, and it is so easy to pretend

Every night I go somewhere else--and when
I try to take off, someone hurries me away
My feet are chained to the floor, I can't fly anymore
I'm human, it hurts. I hurt people--I'm sure


Tree


Oh tree, is your will burnt black? Unlike
The oak, who still sleeps under wintry gusts
The moon, precise, cuts the edge of night
With her jaded nail
Who walks under thorny snows, who knows?
Walking forwards in desire
As whispers of melancholy, reckon sadness and fire

Yes, I do love you silence- this gesture of confidence
Those slow snakes twisting, making their sin
Like twisted thoughts in my head- again
Baptized in water, where there were once roots
Where they turned to rock and bled me a sea
Of silver silk-worms, all yearning for a destiny-


My heart calls alone, crawls down to the bone
It eats the pain and cries out- to the sorrowful ones
Tomorrow, we’ll see, springing in the marsh
The symbol of our riches, the symbol of a march
A beautiful black tree
The tree of burden, of destiny


Beth and Death


the fragrant flowers decorated the pool
of what had been the way she felt
where a fool at last had seen the line
and scratched the surface to find out
when she broke the glass and drank
Her wine, afternoon became a concubine
For the wind pulled itself in circles
And the words they had left forgotten stilled
But Beth knew to nod along as though they were right
Or had it made sense then with no appetite
Heart skipped a beat, forgot how to pump
And the last thing she knew
she heard the last thump

Phantom


When Dianne awakens from her sweet deep sleep
She is face to face with this dark handsome man
In a dark cape and with glistening white locks
She knows that this is her phantom lover at last.

He strides over and touches her silken thighs
And runs his tongue over her cherry red lips
Inviting the wickedest scent, arousing her fast
They make the sweetest love, temptation at its best.

When at last the strange man devours her body and soul
She is left among the wrinkled sheets as the bedsprings creak
She has left this wicked world behind her
Restlessly, the vampire looks for his next guest.


I Wander

I wondered why I wandered so far
Followed the sky, followed my heart
Now it's as if I'm all out of time
I wonder why I felt so alive

I carried on, her body was gone
When I was high, it was still mine
Some days I laughed, some days I cried
I wondered why I felt so alive

I am not broken, I am not alone
She sings so sweetly& with her song
She could tear the world from their eyes
I wonder why it is a crime

I wander far, I wander around
I give a smile, but can't you see now
They don't understand
I wonder why it is a crime to hold your hand


I wonder why I wander far
Following the skies, looking for stars
I carry on when I feel shy
I wonder why I feel so alive


I was never broken, not ever alone
I was laughing, never going home
She sang so sweetly, then she died
I wonder why I feel so alive


I wander far, I wander around
I give a twirl, can't you see the sound
It would not tear the world from your eyes
I wonder why I feel so alive



The Island Ball

I'd known you by those glossy pearls,
Seated so justly at your breast,
'Fore kissing me there at the door,
You waved across the eastern shore,
And swam to me in graceful whirls,
To dance upon the sandy crest.

Your hair was glistening like rain,
Could I a poor man say a word--
Your lips were ruby red and fierce,
That in such stillness, love not pierce?
Enchanted by my dear Moraine,
You were the only voice I heard.

Then stiffened by a dread of fear,
A character that was no guest,
As lovers' hearts began to ache,
We knew this man was our mistake,
Uninvited, not here-not here!
But turn him back, we did our best!

He strode right to the ballroom floor,
Then he danced with the empty air,
And we watched, we crowded around,
Uncomfortable sight, but how oprofound!
He danced alone and yet what for?
I neither knew nor did I care.

My love--you looked upon the lad,
As if 'tween our love was no knot,
And when you moved you made no sound,
I thought I lost what I had found,
Of course it seemed you had forgot,
This last dance was ours to be had.

And you looked quite the fool that night,
Trying to wake his reverie,
While he kept dancing with his mind,
Until we noticed he was blind,
And it gave you an awful fright,
He told you that he could not see!

All laughed for awhile then they swept,
And we left the party long ago,
To watch the waves with a blind man,
He said that if you try you can,
And that was when we three had wept,
We three had learned the truth, you know.

And swam through waters cold as ice,
we’d ran our hands through the cloud,
And slept under the hottest sun,
Had found within ourselves a son,
While here the world seemed not so nice,
The dance of love we had allowed.



Goddess of Snow

Gathering tree limbs in the harsh winter
We stutter and we chatter
Our bodies feeling cold,
used, and beyond repair.

We're the helpless ones,
But she came into this world
Like a thundering cry
It ripped through the darkening sky.

Taken far from home
She slipped like a cat
In between their eyes
Darting back and forth then away

As I am gathering wood for the fire,
Nothing feels more sweet than the cold
She holds me in her raspy winter embrace
Can I not bare to fight it any longer?

Can I not bear to stand at all?
To part from her glance would be to change things
I choke down these silent romances
Remembering ...

I inhale and exhale the warmth of her life
As if I could be something great- but now who?
Unknown to this crowd, a hopeless one that I am
A lonely girl with infantile dreams

Why do cowards cry? Why do men embrace their tears
When you know we're only cowards
The sun has gone down as
The icicles lick the earth
With spring restlessly trickling
Beneath shafts of bitter ice


She is the body of a woman
With her slender form
And her sleek white hair
She is pregnant with love

We give our hearts to her
Our homes and our thanks to her
And as we comfortably lay there, hand in hand
a gentle tear silently escapes my eye


Crooked Window


Light descends down
onto this fragmented window
I press my cheek upon the cold glass and imagine 
  these images fluttering away from me

I am somewhere sweet, wrapped in your shade and dazed beyond 
your repair
I am not this black and white project
that was created to inspire

I am free from these lines, edges that inflict transparency
This not so fortunate girl who was    adolescence's fringe
  and I cannot try to speak
Thoughts jumping around in this pretty fantasy

If only I could tell you through a cut up
photograph the depths that you'll never
see  the casket where
my father sleeps in his riddled dream.








Two Holy Crowns


Vishnu appeared one evening
As an eye of ruby red
To speak of many things
Most certainly to warn of death

Vishnu was there to calm the king
For his throne was to be taken
But the king flatly ignored Vishnu
As if Vishnu had not spoken

And the thunderous caves opened
For the lesson had done no good
This selfishness had led the king
To a promise of punishment

Lord Shiva, the fierce God
Appeared in such a flash
Imposing fear into King's heart
With a loud thundering crash

"Who claims to right the wrong?"
Lord Shiva, the mountain, said
Poking the king with his prong
Bathed with the ashes of the dead

Lord Shiva heard Vishnu's warning
Now the king deserved the worst
"From this day on your royal
Kingdom shall be forever cursed!"


"Oh Shiva, do not curse him
For he has done no wrong
His life was lived in splendor
And we, in his royal kingdom

Have bathed in riches vaster
Than any princess could know
Do not curse our father the King
For we love our highness so!"

Soon the King had wept
But Shiva would not reply
For the King owed a Karmic debt
That was far too great, too high

And so they wept for their king
Who took his final breath
As Shiva led the royal King
Into the realm death.





Inspired

My inspiration's gone and flown
Like a bird with big white wings
I fold my letter into my pocket
And hope this message carries

My muse has disappeared
I've searched along this dark path
Through lonely poet's eyes
Like Emily and Plath

I rise out of the waves
From the oceans of my sadness
They've swallowed my tears
And now I can't cry happiness

Although my throat is feeling dead
From all these longing words
I've tried to relate it to
I can only hope that I had inspired you




Red

Toss a wish into the well
Wishing a child is happy today
Wrap a sheet around her feet
And kiss the sun goodbye

She sees the light at the end
When the road turns to bend
And the colors all melt to one
That is brighter then just some

If one day she had spent it all alone
She'd trade it for one more day to scream
Those thoughts that trail away
And it doesn't seem to matter now

Somehow things get reversed
That's what happens when you're cursed
I guess I meant it when I said
Look, my luck was just as bad




Gods Glory


You
are the
morning sun
rising from life
after life again
the peace and quiet of
an afternoon breeze and shared
laughs in these beautiful lives
I know you deserve all the Glory
you share with everyone gladly

when people are in need, you will lend hands
you don't feed the evils of mankind
you see everything, know all
and you know our hopes so well
you shed light on the dark
for our sufferings
You cry the rain
You see us
and you
reign

Who
would cast
you aside?
with bitterness
for pains they endured
you won't settle for less
Than the grace to all which you
blessed, the light is there, the light will
always be here throughout our struggles
Even when these clouds of despair hide you

The stars still shine beyond all that we see
A bright shining place full of wonder
and miracles, divinity
You are the morning sunrise
you are the calming hand
The summer's rainbow
A child wishing
With my God
I am
Free










Confused Refrains



To Show A Tear

You are alone like me (indifferently)
But we share this difference- of similarities
See, I cannot laugh or cry, I'd be dying

You are alone like me
Your poetry you shares the same melody
Sings songs of empathy (gentle apathy)

When no one else is there (a soul survives the ashes)

You are alone like me
When I want to see the world changing
And nothing goes my way (blood is blood this way)

So I try to pray but why pray
When I don't think it'll make a difference
My words aren't golden, they were all stolen
By someone else (stolen by your eyes lie)


You are alone like me (so quietly)
If only I could feel for you
But these tears have all been cried
My eyes have been dry of dreaming

So I sleep all night and think
And a dream all day without notion
I go through all the motions
Why, will someone please help me?

I thought I'd never love you
With your dark
But now I see it's your darkness
The keeps me alive in my heart (that keeps things apart)


Beautiful Bones

The silver bells rung like a hurricane
And as the red carpet unraveled for Jane
She walked straight down the line
Such a beautiful dress, that she had on...

She was just like you are
With golden locks and green eyes for stars
She had been loved by them all always
But she didn't care for just one

Letting them pass on, just pass her by
Her only lover, was a silver gun
As the bells rung she ran away
without a word to say


She strung ruby red
Across her neck
like she had meant it to be
That was Jane problem you see

No one cares for me
she cried it again and again
The truth is, no one really did.


But of course
no one will get this message...
it's too late to care
because we're filled with greed


Luna

Some are so tempted by the blood red moon
To steal her magic and spiritual might
They darken themselves with a lustful swoon
Fairing their hearts the illustrious fight

To conquer her mystery is a feat
That often turns lovers to war and greed
As righteous ministers further this plight
To say the dark creates evil indeed

With my hope fluttering on spellbound stars
I watch from afar in a reverie
As Luna smiles throughout all of our wars
And only the truly gifted can see

Though magic is used for many a gift
There is also the power of the truth
And when the world's powers begin to shift
Who is there to guard our eternal youth?

The secret of the moon is in her smile
The joyful face of a woman in love
So joyous of all that's free from beguile
Perpetual magic ruled from above

Tree of Light

I have noticed that whenever I pray,
People get better and heal from disease,
So I shall fold my hands while on my knees,
To clear my head without further delay.
I ask guidance from the Lord come what may,
"Will someone send me a messenger, please?"
Still the winds are turning upon the trees,
Those whisperings are all he can convey.

I shall not falter for before this light,
In heaven's mysterious secrecy,
The truths glisten in a magical rite,
Where thoughts create the mind, soul, and body.
Let the hymns of our ancestors ignite,
So that we can rise as life from the tree.



Song of Lilith

How you suffer me!
All God eternally,
Save Lilith's sinful heart
that we now have eaten
in equal parts

and how cruel I know
how cruel it is
to think you fooled
the man whose lightning
struck you down
and made you love
your holy crown

who is now free, mankind?
Let's have this perfect kingdom say
Let's hear the angels in the clouds
who speak eternally

You can be a lion if you wish
I am the dove of peace
and if I am not
then who should judge
this anthem of anger
and the angels of innocence?

we should just be effects of circumstance
the poison in the snakes!
who we compared to God once
And his name is Satan!
that apple he'd forsaken
in the garden of Eden
The poison of lust.

And you can suffer me so
of the want of the skies
my bed is made of yellow light
who bloom red in each of your eyes
outside all souls are free
but who from the sun my son?
You see we are each each other
Like brothers, like sisters
One.

Guardians

it's gone through my heart now
but you must feel it too, your ego a part
of the thorn that pierced my heart, and
of the spokes of this strange wheel
you say you are so pure oh you whose
mind is gone now from you

I must want to be the whore
and you can be the shrew
and all I see is the world that spins
from deprecation of truth
a kin, the ones who each once knew
why complicate the obvious
be pious be pious be pious

He wears a crown of thorns
and I am with my flowers
who rise in blue and white
and red, and green and pink
and yet I want to say what I mean
But I have been mistaken
Forsaken by the one
Who possessed my heart
and body, and oh it hurts my son

i never intended to hurt thee
if once more intends to strike me
this cold emptiness and echo in dark
as if I was the woman of hearts
oh no, you've become a stranger and
I wonder why you claim royalty as
a power of my spirit, mind, and body
when it was EYE who kissed your
Shroud yet you claim this is your loyalty?

who it was who once had
licked your wounds
and made you of your mother
and loved you for your father
I who gave birth
now am I of no worth?

you are without a mother
so cruel your ego that paints
with red and yellow and grey
a world of vanities
in my image, naked breasts
you eat my core
and call me a whore
yet we are each
and each know we are not
visions of war,
and now you have no father.




Your God is leaving you
desperate and wanting
of chorus of echoes
that fill your loyalties
the cycle of rebirth
woven in my eyes
as you bit poison into
apples! on earth we say
christ, divinity
but christ is God and We
we have forsaken thee!

you might as well
confuse me again
in my thigh a thorn
that causes this spring
of tears like blood
that you drink and spill
of this love you will

tend
while I tend to your wounds
Of love I know not why...
Oh ignorance is such pain
when we are free to sin
like evil demons
oh demons you say
demons

how it hurts my sanity
You who maddened me
I loved you and I can hate too
But you possessed my soul
Oh humans,  it hurt me so
Must leave me now son
I watch your love betray your own
And kindness is a silver bone
But you think of fear all in the mind
When I am at your stay
mother....for I am really
here I am




Vibrato

I'm below the twilight sound
of musical shadows
No longer fearful of us
You arouse my dreams
Evoking tenderness
as we pulsate rapidly
into marvelous rupture


In muted cognition
I kiss away your poison
As between breaths I listen
For a euphony unbound.

You're my confidence
Conditional acceptance
Exalting dark alterations
In tremolo palpitations

I taste the excitement
Of those whips and chains
Sending strange impulses
To stolen pains

Between violent friction
And our fatal attraction
We melt into one
twisted in our addictive behavior
I am not prone to sin cuz'
Youre still my savior.

Your breakdown is imminent 
upon contingent occurrences
but we're certainly scary ones
as incorruptible as bones
I cannot deprive you of your desires
As the demons feel jealous
in their castle of stones.



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