BE SARCASTIC:
WHY I AM
AND
YOU SHOULD BE
by
Darrel D. Miller
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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PUBLISHED BY:
Darrel D. Miller on Smashwords
Be Sarcastic:
Why I am and You Should Be
Copyright © 2010 by Darrel D. Miller
Smashwords Edition License Notes
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I am sarcastic
I use humor
To connect, “collect”, and correct friends, family, and clients.
I always have, I always will, and you should too. But I am going to say it right now, and then repeat my self right away.
It is dangerous to use.
You've been warned.
Don't get mad at me if it goes bad, cause it will.
I have been in many educational session and almost to a one they say “Don't ever be sarcastic with people.”
To which I reply, “oh REALLY?”
You should be sarcastic, and I mean a lot.
And there is something you should know about sarcasm, its like verbal dynamite: Its going to blow a hole in something.
Whether that is good or bad depends on where you put it.
It all depends on how you use it, when you use it, and why you use it.
Lets start with when.
Name calling.
We have all been called names, right? I know I was. Although the only ones I remember now are the ones I liked, or the ones that were given to me by people I like. And that is the point. I was called a name by people I liked, and people who liked me, so the name was a source of strength.
Think of the names you have been called, you probably remember the good ones and the bad ones, and you probably remember the people who gave them to you.
Lets concentrate on the good names you were called.Were any of those names true? Probably not in most cases, in fact they probably expressed the direct opposite. Hence SARCASM.
My name in football was “Miller the Driller/Killer”. I was neither. I hated being on the football team, I even pretended to be sick and sit in the park watching all the other guys do push ups.
Till some brat ratted me out.
That’s a story for another time, my point is this: name calling (often a type of sarcasm) can be a good or bad thing. So should we avoid it just because it has the potential for being really bad?
Not at all. While I hated football, the fact that I had a nick name all around school helped give me the identity I have today. Beyond that it helped me feel a part of the group, especially when I was no good physically at what the group's main function for existing.
So when to be sarcastic:
when you are developing a relationship with a person, and particularly after that relationship has blossomed.
It allows you to identify sore spots in a way that is easy to take. But be careful, sarcasm is still powerful stuff, be aware of when you use it, how it is received. It can be a powerful way to acknowledge someone, but they may not want to be acknowledged.
Now why.
Why use something that is so potentially dangerous. Is it not better to just leave well enough alone, like all the educational experts I have ever heard talk about the subject.
Heck no.
First I think being told not to use it is precisely the reason you should. I think it scares those people. And I think it scares them because they are scared someone will use it on them, point out their flaws, and laugh. We don't like to be laughed at. We protect ourselves from that, its normal.
But it has been turned into a sad art by some. Maybe you are one of them.
That however, is what changing people requires. It requires us to be open and vulnerable with them, and sarcasm requires that you both give it and get it. If you can't do BOTH of those, then you cannot do either.
It is a two way street.
What I think people really mean whey they say “Don't use sarcasm” is this: I have no interesting in investing myself in you, so lets just be acquaintances, or “friendly strangers”. I think that is sad, but it is safe.
And safe, never changed the world.
Not mine, not yours. It is the people who risked everything that have changed the world for the better.
Risk yourself for someone else.
And that can't be taught. I cannot teach you or anyone to take risk, you either choose to do it or don't. Skill is not involved in risk-taking. If it was, it wouldn't be a risk.
And how.
That is a tough one, how to be sarcastic. The short answer is state something about a friend/animal/product that is obviously not true.
But I really can not give you any help here, because ultimately it requires that you take a risk, say that stupid thing, jab fun at someone for something.
If you will not take a risk ,no formula in the world is going to help, and you will never know how to be sarcastic with people unless you take that risk.
And shouldn't we, as humans, be trying to find a way to value every other human being we come in contact with?
The bottom line is this, and it is what I hope you take away from this e-book:
In order to tease people, call them names, and in general be sarcastic with them, and have it be a good thing that binds you and them together;
You have to have a relationship with them.
And that means you have to have risked some of yourself with them, including making fun of yourself.
It means they get to tease you.
Are you ready for that?
If you cannot do that, then I heartily agree with all the Educational Gas Bags I have ever listened to: “Do Not Use Sarcasm”
Cause it most certainly will blow up in your face.
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