Nothing Cool About Ten
by
Regina Y. Evans
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Copyright 2010 by Regina Y. Evans
Dedication
Rosemary S. Darden, Princess and Echo
Many thanks to the following:
Father God, The Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ
Chapter Two - Painted Tellings
called
a voice called her
to the place of decision
a precipice of the journey
of her life
she answered with her everything
stretching and fashioning her body
flat across filthy grounds
a compassionate covering for the
need of those who required a soft
foot map, bridge, guider
to their destiny
day to night
and in between
found the bend
of her back
uniquely built
for the multitude of
the many whomsoever
and there she resided
with the painfully
vast stoop over of her own soul,
for so long, so many
passing times
and the lesson of it all
somehow morphed
into a gift of life
allowing for the
reach down, search into
the forever
dank gutters, icy caves
of lost hope and despair
she recognized
and yet she remained
patient and hope filled
smiling slightly as her hands
tossed up the
bruised hidden souls
that languished in the darkness
of empty, no care
she travailed and silenced their wounded ness
upon her heart,
drying everflowing tears
with an apron made of the rags
of her own life's minutes
but serenity surrounds her day graces
as her beautiful knowing touch softly strokes
the terrain of need filled faces
hunger soaked spirits, yearning minds
yes, she is the one,
agape's progeny,
servant to the invisible,
lover of the unloved lovely
the crown belongs to this
blistered beauty, she
who perservered with a
single jeweled thought:
the necessity to love
she is queen of
the forgotten no one
no ones
maid of love
my, my my
looked out the window
this morning in joy
wanting so much
to soak in
the rain's kisses
have 'em drip upon
my heart. needed
the cool river to
course across my sigh
got myself a surprise though..
had to squint, blink quick
squint some more
cus my eyes had
caught a glimpse of something
running, tripping almost
seemed like
it was movin mightily fast
trying….
looked like a, a grin
yes, it was....
and it was slyly glancing
back at me as i was
peering at it
i had to pause
compute why that grin
was. grinning. wiped my eyes
clear and zeroed in.
then noticed that grin thing
was walking off with
all my MY.
"when dat grin been
in my house", i pondered?
couldn't remember
decided it musta been that time i forgot
to put my faith on lockdown....
i sucked my breath in
ever so hard, girded my feet
opened the window sassily
looking at that grin like it was crazy.
jumped up and out
like superwoman
on a mission
ran after that grin so smooth
that i gave it a big fright
so much that it turned itself
into a shrillmouth scream
Lawd Jesus! i tell you that
thing threw up its hands and ran
like a lie always does. trying
ta find some cover.
that was more than
alright with me
yes, yes.
i waved it a good, good-bye.
found myself happy
cus in the course
of it all that grinturnedshrill had released
my MY. dropped it right on the red earth
there is was. all tussled up, in a heap
i let it be for awhile
wanted it to be free to turn over, into
the truth of the matter
before i picked it up again
in a lil while i stooped over
and collected it all. piece by bit
i brushed it off gingerly.
i looked up, held my face
in stillness. felt a
whisper of a song ring
inside a new time.
it was gon' be alright.
so, i started my journey back home,
grabbed a hold
of my wayward faith on the way.
crossed the threshold of peace and
my soul sighed rightly.
and i smiled at the reign
of things to come.
my, my, MY.
smile
what was and
i used to reside
have passed away
those spaces are naked now
bare, soundly forever asleep
because
i simply grew tired
the yearning, the worry
the weariness, the edge
so i lullabyed darkness to its
death
but i will fondly ponder those play rooms
they deserve such an honored remembrance
afterall, they
were the mid wife of my destiny
the birther of an elongated
horizon
because
it was always meant
to
be
generations
i saw Hope standing
on top of a beautiful ladder
she was touching
the heart of heaven
and she smiled
i yearned to do the same
to experience the flutter
i began my climb
to step up, stand up
in an instant moment of
the history of my generations
i found myself floating
in the circle of a restful hurricane
called the embrace of Love.
we decided to stay
my dear
my dear poetry,
i so adore you.
it is beautifully quiet
here in the castle.
just you and i together.
so i shall search the pockets
of your wisdom.
your touch is my solace.
pen. paper.
inspiration.
listen
the wisp and glimmer
of existence
stands under an open door
she raises her face to receive the
reign of kisses that birth
an utterly new day
focus, tossed up
left behind, tossed out
necessary gaze
precipice
all
has been handed to the spin
feeling the whirl of breath's blow
eyes rested, gripped upon the rim
anticipation beats into
the stillness
destiny bequeaths out a white stone
lettered
language entangled upon it
a ticket deciphered through love
moment dances
life whispered a blink
time tocked out
its birth
release
just you
if you could
what would you sing?
and would it matter if no one
heard, saw, knew
your tune?
sing you
let heaven
conspire
dreamdropper
crooked
whisper
askew wrong
tickled your ears
into birthing a
lie
the release
drop, giveup
of your vision
dream, journey
path
satan grinned
that day
hell
happily
guzzled its vomit
celebrate! death!
yet,
mercy stood
on the wall
tapped the shoulder
of your
slumber
awakeness yelled
these words:
Get Up!
released
deaf
blind
from
their death
and into
truth
Epilogue:
mercy wiped your tears
stilled your bent spin
up
the hurricane of love
righted your self
aborted
dreams
in an instant
with a flourish
prevail
copy kat
say gurl,
wus wonderin if you finding
your own stride
or you still tryin ta co-opt mine?
you know why you
always runnin out of breath?
cus u never suckin in ur own breeze
alwayz reachin for
somebodie elses wind
and it keep tippin back to its owner
rightfully so
but time gon come round
tomorrow though.
for you especially.
gon bring you an
hour and a half of courage
for a start
so g'wan now
gal
rite writely
bes bold
cus its a beat
out there
slumbering
in need
of your stroke
scribe on
stage right
he danced
and
i rested
in awe of the simplicity
of his movements
peaceful
in the wash of his taps
i
reached for his right hand
And he stenciled my heart
into his
palm
twirling me into the
place where freedom
runs
forever
he
taught me
the possibilities
from the spoken end
to the
certain beginning
and all
because my desire
lite a
candle
honoring
the surrender
of yes
shifted
he
shifted me to a new space
place of love and quiet yearning
for
him
in this area i can only see
the abundance and firm
grip of his i am upon my soul
truly, it is the only feel
that
i desire my spirit to recognize
the overflow,
downpour
the smell of the powerful
reign of his soft presence
i have decided to stay
.upon this magic
carpet ride
called the day’s dawn.
loved and loving
with open arms
freely
sometimes
evry once in a moonshine blue
the soul tingles a
"man dis here s'alright. it s'alright now chile"
sing it! strokes me tenderly. joy!
me, my babies
unusual birth rebirth
theys here now. ain't that cool?!
wrapped in the wondrous
how i got over
and let me tell ya'll
wasnt nuthin easy bout it,
getting here
to the afterbirth zone
listen to me tell,
i had ta fight mightily,
struggle for des here lil ones
(and fo me too)
deys mine, i der momma for sure
eye's born, theys born too
at a great price
ain't no falseness in that spin
didn't no body wanna know,
or unerstand
but you, Lawd
thank you kindly, Sir.
wHooo weeE,
here me when i say,
me and mine, progeny
scratched, clawed, softly
up from the earth's core
eyes leaking salt,
hurt
the whole way,
and that's a long yard while
i remember!
we's all hanged on ta my back
fer da ride, wudn't let go,
wrapped up inside my womb
and back again
worked as one, me and my mine
had to.
wanted desperately to see,
breathe the light of freely
ran, ran, and some mo'
kep it up
like pace arrows
on some 24 days
we moved so fast that
we beat the devil running!
now we keep breezin
on unexplainable peace
yes. thank ya. Jesus man
yous s'alright.
i watch, i'm watching
my babies
float on my fingertips,
they scribbling out a
new taste
necessary
the triple unbroken circle
smiled
me too
culdn't help it
cus Lawd, i's wild
and freely
free fallin
shush child
leaning into quiet
the necessary spot of create
space to be for a chime
integrity of spirit
finds its cool
in just being
without a shout
clawin’
yesterday i was watchin
some what looked like crabs
seemed like they was dancing
but i saw steam float
and decided against that notion
they was sure nuff angry
bout something
dont even think they knew
stepping on the tother's ones back
tryin ta jump up
a half inch at a tock
and down again
seemed so strange
i didnt understand
dont think i ever will
dont want to
i rather be looking
at da sun
unknown
notes paced away
from playing my sound
in tune, out of sync
the empathy of you
floated by
never touching
my stance of blue
clouded thoughts
highlighted my weak beats
desiring not the strum
of my melody in totality
glances unleash
the serene waltz which fancifully
dance inside my womb
flourishes crescendo
the mosaic of sounds composed
throughout the generations
of my existence
time now calls out to sing
the passion of me
to paint my senses with
depth, hue, tone
until i am complete
you never knew
scooter
living in a cage of brutalized horror
unblessed space of affliction
in her sphere nightmares resonant
the falseness of beige kind words
cooing out dots of confinement, here, there
crooked fingers unmercifully pry rip close
her eyes open with stabs of hopelessness
inwardly she hurricanes, swirls
stone cold in the stillness of the rape of her being
sold. dollar girl. bartered for a taste of forced submission
gutter screams spill forth from her womb
white fire burn tracks of fear into her soul
death grins.
sniffing the three ring circus stench being performed
piercing her.
it is Mister. yes, Sir. Misters
dancing out the sharpness of evil wants upon the terrain of beauty's being
one day. this day. today. will we awaken.
wake up
so you thought she was
worth zero of nothing
to the Nth degree
cus she was standing
on the track, a corner of blisters?
you believed the lie
that she was just some hussy,
prostitute, hoe, tricked out tramp
trash filled garbage rimmed in filth
thats what you thought?
don't deny it. fess. up.
the heart is a wreck of
a thing, isn't it?