Letters to the Editors of My Life
These are letters to everyone who made me decide to change my life. I hate some of them, and love some of them. Either way they changed me in some way and I’m thanking them. So here we go!
Dear Mom,
I never wanted to kill someone so much in my life. I don’t know which is worse, wanting to kill you, or myself.
I honestly don’t think it would do shit if I killed you, I'd just be in prison, and you'd be dead...with no one left to hate but myself.
But....
If I died, I won't even lie. It would be because of you. You may not even care if I die. You might have even predicted it. You could have planned it.
Did I bother you? Was I one of those broken condom children? Am I too open minded for you? Do you hate me because I'm not just like you?
You know something? You're the center and the base of all the pain in my life. But I choose to look at this unfortunate situation as positive as possible.
This is considered a triathlon to me. You're one of those rude ass people who keep trying to push me off my bike or trip me while I’m running at a good pace.
You inspire me to do better in my life. I want to do so good that you WANT to take credit for it. Then I can say that you made me hate you so much that I had to change.
Then you look stupid.
Like a failure.
A bad mother.
Because that’s exactly what you are. All those things and so much more. And I’m okay with that. I’m growing to accept it.
I hate you for how you make me feel inside.
And I love you for how you make me want to be better than you in every way of life.
Fuck you Mommy, and good luck.
Sincerely, your oldest daughter.
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Dear, My Mother's Girlfriend,
When my sister was in the hospital, my mother was there. She may have been there to care for her youngest child, or she may have been there to LOOK like she cared.
Whatever the reason may be, during one of those five days.....she met you.
When they came home, and told me about you, I had thought nothing of it. They told me you were the daughter of two pastors and you were very sweet. My mother and sister went to your church. Then they brought you to our home.
You were nice. Charming even.
I decided to go to church too. I thought "hey, what harm could church do?”
You began to make me comfortable. We hung out in your car more. I told you my secrets, you told me yours. I looked forward to seeing you. You helped me though my ad relationships. You made me feel like an outsider cared for me. You were my best friend.
You made my mom jealous of our relationship.
I had feelings for you. I never told you because I knew nothing would ever happen between us, but the feelings remained.
You started to spend the night more. I noticed how much you loved to sleep in my mother’s bed. You claimed you loved it. I saw the two of you cuddling, spooning, call it what you wish, but I knew I wasn't crazy.
When my mother lost her baby, you were always there for her. I had no room to be her daughter because her were busy being her friend.
Then you, my mother, and I spent a night at the hospital with her. I had fallen asleep while the two of you had a private conversation. I thought it would be funny if I lied and told you I heard the whole thing. I saw the concern on your face.
You sat me down with my mother and told her that I knew the two of you were dating.
The sad thing? I didn't know anything, and probably would have never found out if I didn’t play that joke on you.
So, you’re dating my mother. You told me it just started, but you've been attracted to her since you met.
You're no kind of best friend, you know that right?
I don’t even consider you an acquaintance.
Right now you’re lying in my mother’s bed half naked.
You haven’t been in your own bed in at least two weeks.
I pretend to like you because I don’t like change, I don’t like the drama that came with trying to not be your friend, and I hate to see anyone cry. I hate to hurt anyone’s feelings.
That's way more than I can say for you and my mother.
I’m not hurt because I had feelings for you, I’m hurt because you lied to me and used me to get to my mom.
Were you even really my friend?
I don’t care to know.
I’m done with you.
You're just another example of why I shouldn't let anyone get close to me in my life.
So Goodbye Ex-Best friend and good luck with that fucked-up excuse of a woman,
Sincerely, the girl you hurt.
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Dear My Therapists,
We began with you just starting out in your field of expertise, and me just starting out in my series of life changing experiences and phases.
My mother wasn't a fan of it, and I wasn't a fan of the idea of you becoming my therapist. Later down the line, I warmed up to you and told you things that I had told few people, if any.
You helped me through the hardest times in my life with one hour a week on a regular basis. You later introduced me to someone else who was just as helpful and understanding,
You both stuck through my "passive aggressive" moments. You shared your similar life experiences to show me that I’m not the only one who has to endure hell in order to become happy.
I appreciate the care and dedication that you put into your jobs. And yes, I’m fully aware of the face that this is just your job to help me through life, but to me this means even for an hour a week....someone actually may care
If anyone knows me as well as they think they do, then they know when I'm given an inch, I’ll take a mile. By that I mean that you caring for me may just have been an inch of your job, but I’ll take it another mile each day in my life.
Thank you both, you’re the best help someone like me can ask for.
Sincerely, your crazy client.
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Dear Me,
Out of the whole series, this is probably the most confusing letter. Mostly because I can’t decide if it’s easy or hard to write it.
I'll start out by saying, I know you better than anyone, but then again, I feel like I hardly know you lately.
During the most crucial moments, you surprise me and do some shit that fucks with the next stage of your life.
During the most unimportant moments of your life, you shock me and do something that changes everything for the better.
Sometimes I think I hate you more than I’ll ever love you, but that all depends on my mood.
One thing that will never change is that you fascinate me. I’ll never meet another person like you. That’s for damn sure,
You're stubborn as hell. But you know what you’re talking about when you say you do,
You have a heart, as much as you claim not to, or don’t want to admit it you do. You love anyone who ever cared for you, and want to kill anyone who every hurt you.
Even thought it sounds like I have it all figured out, you're not easy to understand at all.
I just don’t see why you can’t be happy; you’re the saddest person I know.
I can’t love you because you’re not letting me.
It’s all going to change, thanks to the editors of your life.
Get ready to show them how much they helped you change....including yourself.
Sincerely, You, and Me.