The Land of Dreams

Tony Vassilion

Published by Tony Vassilion at Smashwords

Copyright 2010 Tony Vassilion

Yianni and Spiros were anxiously making plans for a move from their Ancient Land, where the men are men and the sheep are very nervous, to America, the land of opportunity, a land of fruits and nuts where the streets are paved with gold.

"But Yianni, we both agreed three years ago that we should save at least 2000 Euros each to be able to afford the trip, and I have not been able to save that much money. Business on the farm has been very bad lately. Two years ago, I had a nice car and a very fine lady. Last year I had to ride a bicycle to see Tasoula, the old crazy whore in town. Now I have a goat cart, and an erection from looking at the butt of a goat on those long rides to the market."

"Don't you worry" said Yianni, "I've put aside some extra money. I'll cover the difference".

Yianni was known as the type of guy who would never leave his buddy's behind.

He had indeed put aside extra money. His job at the Disco, in the small port town of Volos where they lived, did not pay well, but the tips he made from the tourists when the occasional cruise ships would dock for the night helped out quite a bit. He also had a second income. Yianni had begun to help himself to the collection plate at the entrance to the church that was positioned in front of an icon of the Virgin and baby Jesus; it was placed there for contributions to help the poor. This went on for some time until the Priest noticed what Yianni was doing, and one day hid himself behind the picture.

As Yianni approached the icon and crossed himself he said, "Please forgive me Mother Mary, but I am a poor man, and this little money will make such a big difference in your miserable servant's life, Yianni."

"Put that money back!" the voice cried out from behind the icon.

"Shut up you little bastard. I was talking to your Mother" Yianni responded addressing the infant in the picture.

Yianni and Spiros decided that the trip to America could at last become a reality. They packed their few possessions, and boarded the ship for their long voyage to America where they knew that they were destined to become very rich men. They had seen many American movies, and knew much about their future home. The excitement of their excellent adventure was even stronger as they got off the ship at New York Harbor, and marveled at the New York City Skyline for the first time.

"Yianni, can you believe it. We have arrived. I can't wait to get started!" Spiros exclaimed as he was bending down to pick up a shiny quarter he spotted on the ground at his feet.

"Spiros," said Yianni grabbing Spiros by the arm and pulling him upright "we have plenty of time for that. Let's go have some fun first."

Yianni and Spiros had always talked about going to an American Baseball game when they reached America. So, after they got themselves situated in a dirty room in the East Village, they caught the subway to Yankee Stadium, the "house that Ruth built", where Gehrig, and the great DiMaggio once played.

The Yankees were hosting a game against the Chicago White Sox, and the two men, as children would, excitedly took their places in the cheap seats. They were fascinated; they had never seen so many people in one place. The sights and the smells were intoxicating. Above all the din of the crowd, the voice of a vendor repeatedly rang out, "Get your hot dogs, peanuts, Cracker Jacks!"

Their arms immediately shot up into the air, and two hot dogs were passed across to them. Upon examining his hot dog, Spiros turned to Yianni and stated, "I don't know what part of the dog that you got, but I sure know what mine looks like."

The men never thought that anything could look so nasty, but taste so good. The friends enjoyed every minute of the game and couldn't understand why so many people had left so early.

It was an exciting game, and the White Sox had scored many runs during the early innings. Now it was the bottom of the eighth, and they were able to leave their own seats and find some much closer so as to get a better view.

On the way back to the Village, spirits were running high as the two spoke of their blessings and the fortunes that awaited them in such a wonderful land. They both had a hard time falling asleep, too excited about what lay ahead.

Yianni jumped out of bed early the next morning. He went to his friend nudging him gently to wake him, no reaction. Then harder, and harder he pushed screaming uncontrollably.

The coroner explained to a grief stricken Yianni that it was a poison that had caused Spiros' death; it must have come from something he had eaten.

Yianni's whole world was falling apart. He had lost his lifelong friend, his money was running out, and he was still not able to find a job. Depressed, he was walking the sidewalk when his attention was drawn to a sign that read, "BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE."

He walked in and began talking to the friendly uniformed man who told Yianni of all the wonderful opportunities that were waiting for him in today's Army. He explained to Yianni that although he was not a citizen, he was still eligible to join up since he had come to the U.S. with a permanent visa, not only that, but he could become a citizen in three years instead of five, which is the normal wait time. Yianni couldn't sign the papers quickly enough.

A week later Yianni found himself in a city named Columbia, in the state of South Carolina, at a place called Fort Jackson, where other uniformed men, these not so friendly, were screaming in his face, and pushing him to his physical limits, making him wish he were dead.

After a few weeks, which to Yianni seemed like a lifetime, things were becoming relatively easier. He felt stronger than he had ever felt in his life, and he had made two new friends: Arthur Greenburg, whom everyone called Artie, and Tyrone Freeman, whom everyone called Tyrone. They became inseparable. All the guys in the outfit would always make fun saying, "The only way you will get those guys apart would be to use a crowbar!"

It was easy to understand that when the friends completed their basic training and assignments were being made, that all three volunteered for duty in Iraq; not to mention they were offered very large sums of money, and were told that they all could serve together.

Upon arriving in Iraq, Yianni found it to be very much like the Ancient country of his birth. He even saw some people that oddly enough looked like members of his own family. He felt very comfortable there, and the three friends seemed pleased with their duties, which mostly entailed riding around the city in a vehicle called a Humvee. Except for the occasional pot shots made in their direction, it was very light duty; until one day a roadside bomb exploded and blew the three friends to Hell.

There, Lucifer greeted the three amigos. He addressed them with what seemed to be a canned speech.

"Due to wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Georgia, the atrocities in Darfur, AIDS, and the famine all over the world, we are a bit overcrowded, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. If you each give me 200 Euros, due to the rate of exchange I prefer them to American dollars, I will send you back to where you came from."

"That sounds reasonable!" exclaimed Yianni as he made a deal with the Devil.

Back in Iraq, he was giving report to Sergeant Carter.

"That's all fine and good" said the sergeant, "But what about your other two buddies?"

"When I left" Yianni answered, "Greenburg had negotiated Lucifer down to 100 Euros, and Freeman was running all over Hell looking for a co-signer."

Although Yianni made it out of Hell alive, he was still disabled as a result of the bomb that had taken his life. He was discharged from the Army and compensated very handsomely for his patriotic service. Yianni took his money, went back to his Ancient country where he bought the largest goat farm in Volos, and lived happily ever after.