Writing for Wellness
in Christian Settings
Kathy Vayder
A Leader’s Guide for Christian Churches Using
Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing
By Julie Davey
Idyll Arbor, Inc.
39129 264th Ave SE
Enumclaw, WA 98022
360-825-7797
sales@IdyllArbor.com
www.idyllarbor.com
Idyll Arbor, Inc.
© Copyright 2010, Idyll Arbor, Inc. All rights reserved under International and Pan American Copyright Conventions. This book and any information in it may be reproduced for use in Writing for Wellness classes. For other purposes, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transcribed, in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise — without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Cover photo: Will Blaschko (www.willblaschko.com)
Writing for Wellness book cover: Vincent Williams
ISBN: 9781882883905
ePrinter: Smashwords
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Contact information:
Idyll Arbor
39129 264th Ave SE
Enumclaw, WA 98022
360-825-7797
sales@IdyllArbor.com
Kathy Vayder
kvayder@gmail.com
Julie Davey
JDavey@fullcoll.edu
Contents
OVERVIEW
Classes in Writing for Wellness have been offered continuously since 2001 at City of Hope National Cancer Center in Duarte, California. Julie Davey, the designer and instructor of the class, is a two-time cancer survivor and college writing professor at Fullerton College. Julie developed the classes to help cancer patients, their caregivers, family members, and medical staff at City of Hope deal with and heal from grief and other psychological issues that arise from the cancer, other catastrophic illnesses, and personal tragedies.
In 2008, Kathy Vayder (Volunteer in the Care Giving Ministry) met with Julie Davey to create a class for a Christian church setting by adding a spiritual theme to the course. The course has been taught at Cornerstone Fellowship in Livermore, California, since March 2009. Classes are also being held at Presbyterian Intercommunity Hospital, Whittier, California, Wellness Center, Phoenix, Arizona, and Harbor View Medical Center, Seattle, Washington.
Beginnings of Writing for Wellness
Hundreds of participants have attended the classes, and, with Julie’s guidance, have used focused and directed writing lessons to help express what they are going through. Participants report feeling better after attending classes and completing writing assignments. Writing helps them heal.
Over the years, Julie collected poems, essays, humorous stories, letters, and slice-of-life articles written by her students. She saved them, feeling they were too inspirational, too funny, too compelling, and too well-written to be discarded. Using students’ writings to teach other participants how to express themselves has been very useful and can be helpful — even when they claim to be “non-writers.”
The Book
Julie began to organize the students’ writings and over time prepared a manuscript which included her own cancer story, writings from more than 60 class participants, and class lessons she felt were especially effective in helping her students. The result is a 340 page book, Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing.
The book can be used by anyone to help them work through grief and other issues involved in dealing with cancer or other serious health conditions, whether it is for themselves or for a relative or friend. Julie believes that the book is even more valuable when it is used in a group setting where experiences, insights, and feelings can be shared. This guide explains how to use Writing for Wellness as a text for Writing for Wellness outreach programs.
The book is available for purchase online at Idyllarbor.com, Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Wal-Mart.com, among other book vendors. It can also be ordered through bookstores. All author’s profits from the book go to City of Hope for cancer research and patient education.
Julie’s Dream
Because the writing program she has been teaching since 2001 has helped participants in Julie’s classes, her dream is to have classes like hers taught in churches, medical centers, hospitals, senior centers, and synagogues everywhere.
This easy-to-follow guide is designed to assist ministers, outreach facilitators, health ministry leaders, teachers, patient educators, and other volunteers as they establish and teach Writing for Wellness classes.
Church Setting
Many people walk through the doors of a church broken-hearted, confused, frustrated, angry, grieving, unforgiving, alone in their loss, and struggling, and are in need of an outlet for expressing their emotions. They are looking for a way to express what they are feeling and experiencing as they try to make sense of a loss of health or problems with a spouse, children, relationships, or sometimes a combination of crises.
Many attend church looking for a sense of community and finding someone else who can understand their pain, while they work through their spiritual relationship with God. Ultimate healing comes from the Lord, and churches can provide paths for those seeking to improve their relationship with Him.
Much of the traditional help is provided through support groups and counseling sessions with pastors. Writing for Wellness classes using the book Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing can provide a natural extension of the caring and concern received in church settings. In addition to traditional counseling and comfort, participants in the classes are instructed in writing techniques to help them relieve grief, forgive, and address anger and frustrations. Under “Healing Words” in each chapter are examples of writings completed by those in other Writing for Wellness classes. These examples can be used by the participants or the teacher to begin group discussions.
Many of the chapter topics also deal with forgiveness, goal setting, and giving back through volunteering. Writing prompts are included in each chapter under It’s Your Turn to encourage and assist the class participants as they begin writing about what they are going through.
Therapeutic writing adds another dimension and perspective to an already established form of healing provided in churches. Writing for Wellness classes help participants improve their physical, mental, and spiritual health through writing about themselves, their relationship with others, and their relationship with God.
WRITING FOR WELLNESS
Churches are challenged today to provide the care that is needed for members with personal or family health issues. Many churches have ministries for those with acute illnesses. However, providing help for ongoing illnesses or families recovering from grief or lessons about how to remain spiritual during a serious illness can be a challenge. Writing for Wellness classes gives your church an opportunity to create an environment which can address many of these needs. People come to a writing class because deep down, they need to express their feelings and find their way through their current struggles.
Utilizing Julie Davey’s book, Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing, a spiritual need can be met. Participants often say they never liked writing before, but with the comfort of prayer, sense of community, sense of knowing others are walking alongside them, help of the writing lessons and prompts, they find an ease in writing and begin to share their stories.
Members of a church are like members of families. In crisis, we come together. By offering classes within the church setting, the closeness and intimacy of praying, pulling strength from scriptures, and writing together can combine to create a special healing experience.
What Happens in the Classes?
Writing for Wellness classes can be adjusted to fit many different settings and group dynamics. Most of them follow the format described here.
There is usually a welcome for everyone who is attending. Church groups usually open with a prayer. After that the participants briefly introduce themselves. The leader of the class then discusses the topic for the session and offers readings from the Writing for Wellness book, her personal story, or writings from previous students at the church.
After the readings, the leader summarizes the writing topic for the session and gives some prompts to help people start writing. Members of the class are given some time to write. After most of the writing is finished, members are asked if anyone wants to share what they wrote. No one has to share, but there are usually plenty of volunteers. To close the meeting a prayer is offered or an appropriate passage of scripture is read.
Each session has a different topic. The topics in the book include coming to terms with the illness, ways to get better, understanding how illness has, in some ways, been a blessing, and coming to an understanding that we all are mortal. This booklet has some additional material designed especially for church settings, looking at the role faith plays in healing and dealing with challenges.
The number of sessions in a class varies greatly with the setting. Some places want only four or five sessions per class. Others, such as the City of Hope where Julie taught for eight years, have classes that are offered continuously. This booklet looks at a class of 10 sessions, which will fit nicely in a quarter of the year. Adding a few more sessions to have them every week is a simple adjustment.
One of the benefits of Writing for Wellness classes is that the book provides a wealth of material that can be used in a very flexible manner to fit your particular setting and the needs of your class members.
Getting Approval for Classes
Creating a Writing for Wellness class is actually pretty easy. Most of what you need to know is contained in this booklet and Julie’s Writing for Wellness. Kathy, Julie, and the publisher of the book, Idyll Arbor, will all be glad to help you with any questions you may have in setting up or running the classes. Contact information is shown on the back of the title page.
Here are the steps that most churches require for setting up a class:
Talk with other ministries about the purpose of classes. You want to be sure Writing for Wellness fits with the other ministries of your church and you want to know who may potentially be served by these classes.
Find a pastoral sponsor
Find a willing teacher and one or two additional volunteers.
Locate a classroom that is available at a convenient time.
With this information in place, you will probably need to write up a formal proposal for starting classes. If more material about what will be taught in the classes is required, you may copy or adapt the material in the rest of this booklet. There is no requirement that you follow any set plan in providing classes. What is shown here has been successfully used, but each situation is unique and variations are perfectly all right.
Before the First Class
There are some decisions that need to be made before the first session. They include who to invite to join the class, how many sessions there will be in a class, how the class time will be used, and whether to include food. Then it’s time to let everyone know about the class.
Invitations to the class may be limited to just those with illnesses. It may include family and/or friends. You may want to limit the types of illnesses or establish different classes for different illnesses. You may want to limit each person to one series of sessions or invite people back for as many classes as they feel they need.
Julie’s philosophy is to invite everyone for as long as they want to come — as long as they are not disturbing the class process. My preference is to invite everyone and leave the enrollment open for two to three sessions. After that time, the group has usually formed a tight enough bond that it is more comfortable to ask people who are interested to wait for the next class. You should consider what will work best for your situation.
As discussed above, you have the freedom to choose the number of sessions you want to have in a class. Different groups have different needs and constraints. The general consensus is that you need to have at least four or five sessions for the participants to really get into the spirit of the writing. It may not be enough time for significant healing.
On the other hand instructors may be reluctant to commit to a large number of sessions because of the time involved and, for new instructors, uncertainty about the process. The question is further complicated by whether you allow people to sign up for more than one class. We believe the 10-session class described here is a reasonable compromise for first time leaders. We also believe that participants should be invited back for further classes where they can assist the instructor and, perhaps, prepare themselves to lead classes of their own.
We also talked a bit above about what happens in a class. Before the first session is the time to put in the details, certainly for the first session and possibly for all of the sessions. A suggested lesson plan is provided later in this booklet to help with that process.
Julie always has food at classes she teaches. You can read her thoughts about the reasons for providing food in Writing for Wellness. Food is not a requirement. However, if you are not restricted by your location or budget, we suggest you find a way to provide some sort of food.
Announcing the Writing for Wellness class is usually easy in a church setting. One possibility to consider is opening the class to those outside the church as an outreach to bring more people into contact with your teachings.
Basic Considerations
The goal of the class is to bring physical, mental, and spiritual healing to its members. Here are some basic considerations that will improve the effectiveness of the class that we want to share with you.
Required supplies
Snacks
Writing for Wellness Book — Single copy price $18. A case of books (36) is available to the church for $10.80 per book, a 40% discount. Books can either be loaned out and returned at the end of course or each participant pays for or is given a book.
Notepads
Pens
Name Tags
Letting people know about the class
Notification in the weekly bulletin
Notification online
Notification via cards in the courtyard lobby
Group dynamics
It is best if people are seated in a conversation-area and can see one another rather than in an auditorium setting. Classrooms work well. Even within the spiritual setting of having beliefs in common, it still takes a couple of sessions before the group starts to be comfortable. Be prepared to share more of the selections in the Writing for Wellness book if the group is uncomfortable sharing their own writing.
Seating
Arrange seating if possible, so participants can have a writing surface. If this is not possible, provide clipboards or magazines to be used on their laps.
Have an agenda and stick to it
If a class is advertised as one hour or an hour and a half, be sure to end at the appointed time. If some participants want to stay and chat after class, do your best to arrange to be available. There are many times after class when people do not want to leave right away. It’s been an emotional experience of writing and sharing and they need time before they are ready to go out in public again. The following is a sample agenda:
1. Refreshments
2. Open in prayer
3. Introductions (limited to one minute for each person)
4. Readings from book examples/discussion
5. Summary of session topics
6. Writing time (at least 20 minutes)
7. Sharing time (at least 20 minutes)
8. Close with scripture which fits the theme for the week
Running a Class
When it is time to open the doors and invite the participants in, you need to be ready to make their experience as positive as possible. Here are some thoughts about what you can do to make the class a success.
Before the first class
Prior to the first session, send an email out to all those who have signed up, welcoming them to the class and asking them to bring paper and pen. Provide details about location of the classroom and the date and time.
Be welcoming
It is important that people feel welcome and relaxed. In order to not call on anyone immediately, the teacher should introduce himself or herself at the beginning. Provide the participants relevant information that will give them confidence about the course. If the teacher has experience in the writing field or in teaching writing, that should be mentioned. The volunteer’s experience should be shared with the class. If the teacher/volunteer has “graduated” from a Writing for Wellness class and has been helped by the experience, that information should be shared.
Class policies
Explain that “what is said or written about in this class is confidential and should remain so.” Participants should not retell what others reveal in class.
Also emphasize that the purpose of the class is not to give the participant’s medical history or advice to one another. The class will concentrate solely on how writing can be used to help participants express what they are going through and to promote healing.
Make it clear that no one will be forced to share anything they don’t want to share. Each person knows best for him or herself the amount of sharing that is comfortable. Usually people share as they become more comfortable with the group. But, even if a person never chooses to share, healing is still taking place.
The agenda
Go over the agenda, noting the place for participants to introduce themselves. Explain that you will be closely following the agenda. You want to make sure that everyone has plenty of time to write and plenty of time to share. This will make it easier to say to anyone who gets too long-winded, “Thank you, we need to move along now.” Do not let one person dominate the class, especially the first meeting. Some “talkers” tend to do that. It will be the teacher’s role to prevent that from happening. Be sure everyone who wishes to has a chance to speak.
Introductions
Encourage the participants to briefly tell how they found out about the class and what they would like to get from it. Reassure them again at this point that they do not have to go into detail about the medical conditions, traumatic experiences, or ongoing grief they may want to write about. People are allowed to pass if they are uncomfortable introducing themselves. Consider whether you want to have a brief introduction every week as a check-in so everyone can let the others know how they are doing.
Sharing experiences
The teacher’s or volunteer’s own experiences with loss, traumatic illness, or grief can be helpful to share with participants. Or, using examples in the first chapter of Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing, reading aloud can help begin a dialogue. Ask questions after each example is given. Wait for participants to answer when you ask, “Does anyone want to share a reaction to that piece of writing?” Take a breath and wait a moment. Sometimes, especially at the first meeting, it takes time for people to get up the nerve to speak in front of strangers.
Treats
Have a small basket of “treats” or “prizes” hidden from view. When the first hand goes up, retrieve the basket and offer the “brave person” anything they want from the basket.
Say “Thank you.”
Thank that first person who raised his/her hand, even before they say anything aloud. By doing this, you are giving the participants a message — talking aloud is rewarded here. Participants need not be afraid to do it. Again reassure everyone that you, as a teacher, won’t call on anyone whose hand is not raised.
Don’t forget to say thank you to the second person who raises his/her hand… and every single person after that, too.
Breaking down the barriers
Always keep in mind that participants who come to writing class to help them heal from traumatic events, illnesses, or grief are already suffering. Reassure them, praise them when they take a chance and read aloud. Do not correct the writing on the spot, or suggest they could have a better title or have their poems in more even meter. There are no red pens used, spelling and grammar do not matter. Encourage them to trust and write from the depths of their soul. Do not allow others to be openly critical either. “Accentuate the positive…”
Many participants have grown to dislike writing because they have been humiliated in school in the past. Others feel they have no talent for writing. Assure them that “Everyone has a story to tell.” “Allow yourself to not be perfect.” Ask them to be honest in their writings. Sometimes in a church setting, people want to be perceived as happy or fine and not hurting or upset or grieving or angry. Advise them to not allow others to read their work, especially those at home. “Wait until YOU feel the time is right and that you have said something you want to share.”
All of these comments will reassure and relax participants in the class. Many need these reassurances even after several class meetings. Remember, they didn’t learn negative things about writing in one class hour and those negatives will not be erased in an hour either.
Using Writing for Wellness
It is suggested that each participant have a copy of the book, Writing for Wellness: A Prescription for Healing to use in class and to take home to read “assignments” for the next class.
Using the book in class can be a very quick and effective way to provide structure. The book is designed to be used as a guide. Participants can read selections in class and complete other reading selections at home. The teacher can use the It’s Your Turn lessons in class and have designated times for in-class writing to begin. Students can complete the lessons they begin in class when they get home.
The books can be purchased by either the sponsoring organization or by the person in the class, depending upon their financial situation.
Some non-profit organizations serving low-income people may want to purchase a “class set” of books to be used by participants taking the classes and then returned at the end of the series. Wellness groups whose policy is not to charge anyone for any service may also choose to buy sets of books to loan out.
If cost is not a factor for individual participants, they may purchase their own copies and keep them following the writing-class series.
Step-by-Step Procedures
Sometimes it’s helpful to have a simple list of what you need to do. That’s what we hope to provide with this step-by-step list of what happens in a class session. We expect people leading Writing for Wellness classes to be innovative and resourceful, so feel free to adapt and improve on the outline offered here.
Have coffee, drinks, and snacks or desserts available when people come in. Greet everyone personally as they enter. Create a relaxed and supportive atmosphere, realizing that just coming to class itself is an achievement for some people. Not everyone you interact with will have been to college, taken an adult education class, or participated in a small group at church. Merely being in a classroom setting may be uncomfortable for some.
Open in prayer.
In-class introductions and check-ins. In session one tell why you are teaching the class and what your own background is. Allow everyone else an opportunity to introduce themselves. In later sessions, you might offer a chance for people to check-in with a brief summary of what has happened during the past week.
Prepare for the lesson.
In session one you will be handing out a syllabus of the whole class. (There is an example in appendix A.) After that you will share any part of the book’s introduction either as a summary or by using specific examples; ask participants to turn to a specific page and read parts aloud; and/or use the table of contents to go over the chapter headings in the book’s first section, Getting Started. The headings show how discovering the “news” of one’s illness or tragedy parallels the book’s chapters. First, one goes through the shock of diagnosis/news and then various other stages mentioned in the first section of the book are experienced.
In later sessions this time will be used for participants to read what they have written during the time between sessions about the topic from the previous class. Ask how they felt about doing them. Did it help? Have they found themselves wanting to write more?
Go through parts of the Healing Words examples and whatever other writings you choose to set the stage for this week’s topic. Your personal experiences can be very powerful if you choose to share them.
Distribute pens and notebooks to those who don’t have them.
Following some low-key, impromptu discussion, suggest students turn to this week’s It’s Your Turn writing prompt. Discuss this orally with the students. It’s a good time to reassure the class once again that you won’t call on anyone unless they choose to volunteer.
Ask people to take 20 minutes to write about the prompt. Ask everyone to be quiet and emphasize that many people cannot concentrate if others are talking. Write your own response to the prompt.
After about 18 minutes, provide notice that time is almost up. This gives everyone a chance to finish up a thought or make notes if they have more they would like to write later. “We’ll see what happened when you wrote and how you felt about it.”
Ask if anyone would like to share what they have written. If there is complete silence, volunteer yourself. Read what you wrote and tell how writing about it made you feel. Many times this will break the ice and people will begin to share what they have written. When the first one or two people have volunteered to read, pass around a small basket of “prizes” as a reward to them. They have taken a chance and have been rewarded. You can also encourage applauding after the readings are done. Ask what students liked best about the writing that was shared. Do not allow students to criticize the writings of others. You can set this tone. This is not about perfect writing. It is about getting one’s feelings on paper.
Emphasize that if the participant wants to continue to write about a topic at home, that is wonderful. If they want to share what they have written, they should bring it to the next session. Let people know that they may look at the assignment for the next session and write something at home to bring to the next class. You can also say that this isn’t school. It’s enough to come here and write and there is no homework that has to be done.
Close in prayer or with a passage from scripture which is applicable to the topic of the day.
10 SESSIONS
The following pages show what you might choose to teach in a 10-session class. We have included several possible chapters for the book, Writing for Wellness, for each session. You might choose to allow your students to write on any on the topics presented or you might pick one topic for everyone to write about. If you decide to limit the class to one topic, consider the possibility of using one topic from the set in this 10-session class and another topic from the set in the next 10-session class. Julie has found all of the topics in the book to be helpful, so you want your participants to be able to experience writing about all of the topics.
Session 1 — How It All Started
Introduction (page 15-16)
Begin to describe your experience with a life-threatening disease, a major loss, or a tragedy. You may be or may have been a patient, spouse, a friend, a family member, a parent, or a caregiver. Write about how you feel now or have felt during the crisis. Include as many details as you can.
Jump start
When I was first told ______ had ______ I felt ______. After a while, I felt ______ and as time progressed, my emotions changed to ______.
Continue to write and include answers to these questions:
Is your condition/situation a continuing one?
How does/did the experience affect you emotionally?
How do you feel now? Give details.
Did anything positive come from the experience? Explain.
Personal experience (page 22-23)
Words are sometimes all we have. Speaking them in person is often too painful. We choke up; we don’t seem to get them to come out in the way we intended. Writing them down may make us shed tears in the process, but afterwards we feel comforted knowing that we have said what we wanted to say to the person we loved.
Jump start
Dear ______, As I look back over my life to this point, I remember when ______.
I feel fortunate because without you ______.
Words you may have received from someone (page 32)
Write about words you may have received from someone. How have these words affected your life? How have the words influenced you? The words you write may help take you back to a calmer and more positive time, allowing your mind and body to heal.
Jump start
When ______ said/wrote ______ to me, I learned ______.
Write about the person’s relationship to you and describe what you learned from them.
Healing and feeling (page 42)
Explain in detail how you found out about an illness or tragedy in your life. Use the exact words you heard. What did you feel like? What went through your mind? Recall as many details as you can.
Jump start
______ told me about ______. It was [morning, afternoon, evening] when I heard the words ______.
I felt ______.
Session 2 — The Spiritual Side of Wellness
Write a letter to God
Ask Him for guidance. Express your feelings, your fears, and your frustrations about your loss, diagnosis, or continuing serious illness. If you have received tragic news, write to Him about that. If you are thankful, write to Him about that.
Emphasize not only the facts that you have been told, but also the feelings you have kept inside.
Jump start
If you have trouble getting started, you may want to write a question. Other ways to start include “God, I am writing to you for help” or “I need you, God…”
Seek perspective
When tragedy strikes and bad news seems overwhelming, sometimes the patient or family member becomes frantic. Writing often allows us to put the news into perspective. Try to see the sadness or tragedy as part of a larger picture, one we may not be able to get into focus. By writing about all of our experiences, we may gain some perspective.
To begin, think of the blessings in your life and list them, or write them out in sentences. List major and minor ones but remain positive as your list grows. Think back to easier, kinder times. Remember good friends and describe their contribution to your life.
Take time to think about this. You do not have to share the information with anyone. If anyone asks to read your writings, you should be comfortable saying, “Maybe later, not right now.”
After writing about your life’s blessings, begin to write about your illness, the bad news you have received, or your ongoing grief. Getting these feelings out should allow a new perspective to begin to take shape.
Jump start
The top five blessings in my life are ______.
When I first heard that ______ had ______, my first reaction was ______.
Gather yea rosebuds
Write to friends and family members, those nearby and those far away. Tell them you are thinking of them and you need their prayers. In the notes or letters you send, describe how much those loved ones mean to you and how you value the times you have shared. Don’t hesitate to remember the humorous times or those from childhood to school days. The more specific you are, the better you will feel about sharing the feelings you have with them.
If the situation were reversed, wouldn’t you like a friend or relative to write and ask for help and remind you of all the wonderful memories you share?
That note or letter, whether written in your own handwriting or on a computer, could become a treasure for the friend or the loved one who receives it. How could your friend or loved one feel anything but grateful to be appreciated and needed?
You will experience closeness with those in your life by writing down your feelings for them and seeking their prayers.
Thy will be done
Our faith can be strengthened or tested in times of trial. It may change on a daily or hourly basis as you go through treatment, receive good reports, or hear bad news. During other times in our lives, a roller coaster of emotions becomes almost normal. We may read something into a doctor’s voice or mannerism, something that is not really there. Is the doctor in charge of our life, our outlook, and our beliefs? Are we giving up? Are we allowing God to be in charge?
The words from the Lord’s Prayer come to mind. Write about what those words mean to you and how that may have changed during the diagnosis, treatment, recovery, and grief process. If the news involves another tragedy or loss, how is your faith helping you or being tested?
Jump start
The meaning of the words “Thy will be done,” have [changed, become more significant, have made me question my faith] as I have gone through this process. Right now, I feel ______. Yesterday I felt ______. Tomorrow I may feel ______.
Forgiveness
“Forgive us our trespasses…” our prayer, our creed. It may seem obvious that forgiveness should be an essential part of the healing process. Hanging on to unresolved conflicts, resentments, or baggage from time past means that physical healing may be hindered and spiritual growth may be stunted.
Who would you like to forgive in your life? If the person has already moved away or passed away, you can still write them a letter of forgiveness.
If the person is in your life today but you cannot find a way to resolve the conflict with them, you may want to write out your anger and never show the person your words. This allows you to confront your own feelings and ask God for His forgiveness and guidance.
Allow yourself to take small steps toward forgiveness. Writing about what happened may be the first step. Sometimes it is also the last step. When something is written down in black and white, it can take its rightful place. It may seem trivial to you in light of the illness or sadness you are facing. Just as you have a new perspective on life itself, allow yourself to give up petty matters that are best forgotten and forgiven. Doing that will free your mind and body of stress and allow you to concentrate on getting well.
Writing about forgiveness and actually forgiving someone are two different things. Start with the writing, read it over, and see if it helps. If you feel strongly that you must reveal your feelings to the person you are forgiving, find a time and a place you are comfortable with and read your letter to them. Don’t just mail something so important. If they live far away, call them, tell them what is occurring in your life, and tell them it is important to you to read it to them. You may shed tears. They may, too.
If it resolves something you have been carrying around for years, it will be worth it. Praying together afterward may be the perfect ending.
Jump start
I used to be [mad, sad, devastated, ______] when I would remember ______. I often felt ______ and ______. Now, as I face today’s problems, I feel ______. I am willing to forgive and forget.
How great Thou art
The title of a favorite hymn or worship song can often summarize what is significant and central in our lives. Concentrate on spiritual and religious beliefs to increase your strength. Think of God’s greatness, power, and mercy. When negatives and fear come into your heart, write about them and contrast them with God’s greatness and His promise to guide and protect you.
Session 3 — Reaching Out, Reaching In (Part 1)
Read Chapters 5–7 and select one writing assignment.
Thank you (pg 58-59)
Write a thank you note to someone in your life who deserves your thanks. Think of someone who has helped you, gone above and beyond. How did you feel after receiving this person’s help? Reliving those moments can provide you with content for the letter or note.
Love letters (pg 68)
Write a letter to someone missing in your life. Write about the good times shared and describe why you miss them today. Your letter is a tribute, too, to the memory of someone who made a significant difference in your life.
Private anguish (pg 81-82)
Expressing your fears and frustrations might help you heal. Are you putting on a happy face for those around you, but inside you feel anything but happy? Are your own fears keeping you from helping a friend? How do you really feel about what you are going through? Does anyone know? Start to write about the facts and feelings of your experience.
Session 4 — Reaching Out, Reaching In (Part 2)
Read Chapters 8–9 and select one writing assignment.
Changing priorities (pg 90-91)
Write about how your priorities have changed since you or your loved one experienced illness or tragedy. How did you feel before? What did you see as problems then? What are your problems today? Are you able to relate in the same way to your friends and family members who are “untouched”? Describe the changes in priorities you have experienced and how those changes affected your relationships with others at work, at home, or in social settings.
Expelling anger (pg 103-104)
Let out the anger by writing down your feelings and details of what caused it. For healing to begin, you must get rid of the anger and resentment in your life. Writing about it is one place to start. Write the first words that come to mind. Don’t hold back. Remember as you are writing that you don’t have to show what you wrote to anybody.
Jump start
I feel angry when I think about ______.
Session 5 — Reaching Out, Reaching In (Part 3)
Read Chapters 10–13 and select one writing assignment.
Forgiveness as healing (pg 110-111)
Think about something that you need to write to someone who may have hurt you knowingly or unknowingly. Write about who you would like to forgive. It could be yourself, a family member, a colleague at work, or anyone in your early or present life.
Unfinished business (pg 119-120)
Is there some event in your life that still makes you angry or sad? Do you have unfinished business with a relative, a co-worker, a neighbor? As you write be conscious of your feelings and include them. Remember, in writing to heal, the feelings as well as the facts must come out in order to be identified and dealt with.
Bravest hearts (pg 134)
Who are your heroes, your role models? Think about why you value them and what they have done in their lives or their struggles to inspire you, to motivate you to fight on. Write as specifically as you can, giving details about the who, what, when, and why of your admiration for them.
Heroes and helpers (pg 143)
Who has been a hero or helper for you? A friend? A spouse? A doctor or nurse? A pastor? Think about how you felt in the depths of your sorrows or fears. Write about who hugged you, listened without judgment, and reassured you that they would be there for you. Include as many feelings from that time as you can remember.
Session 6 — Moving Forward, Getting on with Life (Part 1)
Read Chapters 14–23 and select one writing assignment.
Transformations (pg 167)
What has having a life-threatening disease or experiencing a loss brought you or taught you? What is the greatest gift you have received? What is the greatest gift you have given?
Jump start
Through this [tragedy, diagnosis, treatment] my most cherished gift is ______. A gift I would like to give or have given someone else is ______.
Choosing happiness (pg 178-179)
We can view our loss or illness as a tragedy, the end of our life, and live each day accordingly, or we can choose hope and happiness. Write about a time in your life when you were faced with such a choice. Perhaps you are going through this process now. How are you dealing with it? Do you surround yourself with people who choose happiness? Have your choices changed as a result of the loss or illness?
Jump start
I made a conscious decision to choose happiness when ______.
When something negative happens, I find myself ______.
Laughter as medicine (pg 190)
Think back to a humorous experience. Do you tell old stories? Write about one of them or another humorous event in your life. Recalling the event may bring you a smile and warm your heart.
Jump start
I laugh out loud every time I think about the time when ______.
I’ll never forget the look on ______’s face when ______.
Mind-mending journeys (pg 199)
Close your eyes and let your mind find the most peaceful moment it can locate. When you are there, open your eyes and begin to describe what you see, hear, taste, smell, and feel. Write about why you think your mind chose that particular memory.
Jump start
I will never forget the feeling I had when I [saw, visited, experienced] ______.
I choose to leave sadness, pain, and sorrow behind as I return to the day when ______.
Session 7 — Moving Forward, Getting on with Life (Part 2)
Read Chapters 18–23 and select one writing assignment.
It’s a God thing
Write about a time you felt comforted by the Lord, where you felt a sense of peace, serenity, and His divine hand.
Jump start
I knew God was involved when ______ happened to me.
Recapturing joy (pg 209)
Let your mind help you escape the negatives. Write about the happiness you once felt. Write in detail, describe what took place, paying close attention to your five senses. See if you can find peace by mentally returning to a place that made you feel wonderful. Take a deep breath and remember a time in your life when everything was calm. Think about it as being here and now.
Jump start
I feel joy, pure joy, when I remember ______.
One of the best memories in my life was when ______.
I can feel the peace and quiet surround me as I remember ______.
Smiling through the tears (pg 226)
Remembering the humorous times may not speed up our healing but it may make things a bit less depressing.
Jump start
The funniest thing that ever happened while in the hospital/doctor’s office was ______.
Capturing Nature’s power (pg 239)
Write about a place you have found to be healing. Describe its sights and sounds. What does nature do for you or to you when you are there?
Jump start
When I go to ______ I always feel ______ because ______.
Just seeing/hearing ______ and ______ brings me peace.
During my childhood, I loved going to ______ because ______.
Session 8 — Moving Forward, Getting on with Life (Part 3)
Read Chapters 21–23 and select one writing assignment.
Lessons learned (pg 250)
What lessons have you learned so far in your life? Make a list of five to ten. Explain in a few words how you learned these lessons.
Jump start
The most important lesson I learned about [people, money, my goals] was ______.
I learned the hard way that ______.
I would like to tell my children or friends to always ______.
I wish my parents had told me ______.
Your story/your legacy (pg 262-263)
Writing your story, the story of a favorite family member, or one about an important person in your life is probably one of the most significant activities you can accomplish.
Review pages 262 and 263 for writing tips.
Happy days are near again (pg 274)
After almost any crisis in life, there will be those who see it in a positive light while others view it darkly and never fully recover from its effects. There are those who will learn from it and strive to light the way for others. Where do you want to be? How will writing help you? Write about where you want to see yourself six months from now, a year from now. How will you be different?
Jump start
Six months from now, I hope to be ______.
I am going to work on being ______ so that a year from today, I ______.
I hope I can always ______.
Session 9 — Compassionate Outcomes
Read Chapters 24–27 and select a writing assignment.
Family matters (pg 287)
Focus on a family member and write about him or her. An example of a way to begin is shown below. Tell your story from that point, now that the reader has a picture of the person. After you have finished your story, describe how going back in time and writing about it felt to you.
Jump start
[The person’s first name] was always ______. He/she always ______ and loved to ______.
Your unspoken dreams (pg 294)
Make a list of your personal goals. Select one of the goals. Write about how it would feel to accomplish it.
Rediscovering yourself (pg 295)
Who have you become? Write a brief life script describing the life you have prayed to God for.
Jump start
Since God is the “author” of my life script, I pray my life from here on to be ______.
Giving back (pg 315)
Think about how you have been helped by someone. Write about how a certain individual made you feel. Have you helped others by volunteering your time? Visualize yourself helping others and write about how it might feel?
Writing something down makes it more important. Words can be your plan of action.
Jump start
When I helped ______, I felt ______.
If I could volunteer my time or money, it would be to help ______ because ______.
Session 10 — The Spiritual Side of Wellness
This is a reprise of Session 2. Once more we want to look at specific spiritual aspects of dealing with an illness. Select one of the topics described in Session 2 and write about it.
Another possibility, since Writing for Wellness is an important way to help yourself heal, is to write about your spiritual journey through the class sessions. How has writing helped you through the difficult times you have faced? Have you made progress in turning your grief into something more positive? What spiritual aspects have appeared in your life that you didn’t realize were there before? Have you seen God more clearly in your life?
Jump start
Writing during the class sessions has helped me feel ______ more clearly and understand ______ more deeply. I have felt God’s hand as He guided me to experience ______.
CLASS FEEDBACK
It is always important to work on improving the Writing for Wellness experience. Who knows better than the people who have just completed the class? The survey on the next two pages is a sample of the kinds of questions you might want to ask of your participants.
You are trying to find out what worked and what didn’t. See which things should be kept and which should be eliminated.
Having participants comment in writing is an effective way to obtain a realistic view of what went well and what may need improvement. Hand the survey out at the end of the last session and have the participants turn in evaluations before they leave.
We are always trying to improve this manual. Any suggestions you or your class members have can be sent to Idyll Arbor at the address on the back of the title page.
Writing for Wellness Class Survey
Please take a moment to help us improve your experience in the Writing for Wellness program. When you’re finished, please drop the survey off at the front of the class.
The parts of the class I found helpful were?
□ Book/materials
□ Writing time
□ Cross-sharing of writings
□ Other ____________________________________
How would you rate the use of the book?
□ Very helpful
□ Helpful
□ Neutral
□ Not needed
I would like more class time spent on?
□ Writing
□ Sharing and discussion
□ Reading assignments from book
□ Other _______________________________
I would like less class time spent on?
□ Writing
□ Sharing and discussion
□ Reading assignments from book
□ Other _______________________________
Do you feel this class helped you?
□ Yes
□ Somewhat
□ No
Why? _______________________________
How do you think having this class in a church setting helped you vs. taking a class in a secular setting?
__________________________________________________________
How would you rate the facilitator?
□ Friendly and helpful
□ Knew the material
□ Did a good job of encouraging me to write
□ Other _______________________________
The meeting day/time worked?
□ Yes
□ No
What might have been better? ________________________________
Would you like the course to be a different length?
□ Shorter
□ The Same
□ Longer
Why? _____________________________________________________
Additional Comments
Appendix A — Class Syllabus
The following is an example of the type of class syllabus you can hand out to participants so they have a clear idea about the Writing for Wellness experience.
Writing for Wellness — Class Syllabus
Class 1 - 10/05/10
Introduction
Telling your story
Personal experience
Writing the words received from someone
How you found out
Class 2 - 10/12/10
Spiritual Side of Wellness
Write a letter to God
Seek perspective
Gather yea rosebuds
Thy will be done
Forgiveness
How great Thou art
Class 3 - 10/19/10
Reaching Out, Reaching In (Part 1)
Thank you note
Love letters
Private anguish
Class 4 - 10/26/10
Reaching Out, Reaching In (Part 2)
Change in priorities
Expelling anger
Class 5 - 11/02/10
Reaching Out, Reaching In (Part 3)
Forgiveness as healing
Unfinished business
Bravest hearts
Hero/helper
Class 6 - 11/09/10
Getting on with Life (Part 1)
Transformations
Choosing happiness
Laughter as medicine
Mind-mending journeys
Class 7 - 11/16/10
Getting on with Life (Part 2)
It’s a God thing
Recapturing joy
Smiling through the tears
Capturing nature’s joy
Class 8 - 11/30/10
Getting on with Life (Part 3)
Lessons learned so far
Your story, your legacy
Happy days are near again
Class 9 - 12/07/10
Compassionate Outcomes
Family matters
Your unspoken dreams
Rediscovering yourself
Giving back
Class 10 - 12/14/10
Spiritual Side of Wellness, Closing Session
Write a letter to God
Seek perspective
Gather yea rosebuds
Thy will be done
Forgiveness
How great Thou art
Endorsements
The Writing for Wellness class has been a blessing to all of those experiencing or recovering from a serious illness, the death of a loved one, and their caregivers. Through this class we have seen emotional healing, intimacy with God, life change, and life long relationships built within the participants. This class is a must for any church no matter what the size of the congregation.
— Josh Jonas
Pastor and director of Care Giving Ministries
Cornerstone Fellowship, Livermore, CA
Unbelievable, incredible, therapeutic, healing, safe, emotional.
— Ella Mae Kurashige RN, BSN, MSN, and class participant
Harborview Medical Center, Seattle, WA
What a wonderful birth we had for our new baby, the Writing for Wellness Program, I was so touched by the healing that happened.
— Shelia Spivey
Director of Community Services
Presbyterian Community Hospital
Writing for Wellness is a valuable healing tool for people who are grieving the death of a loved one. What an incredible gift to be able to get one’s feelings of grief out and down on paper and then to be heard by a safe, small group of people. Many from our Grief Care group are greatly benefiting from this Writing for Wellness class. Broken hearts are being restored.
— Gayle Jonas
Grief Care
Cornerstone Fellowship, Livermore, CA
Thank you for the wonderful, tender, touching, and very useful book you sent! You've done the world a great service by sharing these stories + the technique of healing through writing. My best to you.
— Hanoch McCarty, Ed. D.
Co-Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul
For more information
Idyll Arbor, Kathy Vayder, and Julie Davey are committed to helping you develop and run a successful Writing for Wellness program. We offer insight, suggestions, and further writings on our website:
www.WritingForWellness.com
Be sure to check out the video of Julie Davey talking about Writing for Wellness.
If you have questions about starting a program or want some insight into how to make your program more successful, please contact one of us, as shown below.
Idyll Arbor
39129 264th Ave SE
Enumclaw, WA 98022
360-825-7797
sales@IdyllArbor.com
Kathy Vayder
kvayder@gmail.com
Julie Davey
JDavey@fullcoll.edu