keke
Sinful Pleasures
Book One of the In the Tomorrow Series
Belle Roark
Published by Belle Roark at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 Belle Roark
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
Thank you for downloading this free ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This
book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book
remains in its complete original form. If you enjoyed this book, please return to
Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.
Chapter 1-
Brittany shook her head in disbelief. This was not happening to her. Chalk it up for the worst day of my life, she thought bitterly. She had just dropped her son, Tristian, off at school and was on her way to pay the bills downtown. This idiot ran the light and totaled her car.
"MY BABY! YOU IDIOT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE FROM THE CRACKER JACK BOX?" She was ranting and raving, as she crawled out of the window of her car. The local police officers pulled up on scene. Johnny Hill grabbed her and was holding her back. She pulled away and searched for her cigarettes. She found them by the brake pedal. Her blood was still boiling and no amount of cigarettes would be able to calm her. Hell she didn’t think any alcohol would do either.
"Easy there, Brett. You've got that poor kid scared to death!" He scolded. “Are you okay?”
She looked at him with fire in her eyes. "That damn kid just wrecked my baby. Thirty thousand dollar car. I sunk money into her. She's totaled. I've had that car fresh off the line. Damn it and she's gone! My daddy gave her to me. Do you know what she ran in the quarter mile? She’s definately not stock."
"Bobby, keep that kid over there." Johnny ordered. “I think that’s the Griggs’ boy.” He added. She scowled at him. “Brett, you got a cut on your forehead. You should let the paramedics take a look.”
“I’m fine.” She said, miserably. She looked at her car. It had rolled. 1990 Ford mustang convertible, the limited seven up edition with deep emerald jewel green exterior and white leather interior. She was the rarest of the rare. Although there were 4103 with 261 being exported, hers were especially rare with specifications made by her dad. Her name was stitched into the dash, in gold. She hung her head down and cried. It was the only thing he ever gave her that meant anything. She had taken such good care of it the past seven years and now it was being loaded onto the flatbed to go to the junkyard. She shook her head.
"No! Take it to my address. I can't part with her." She cried out to Luke, the tow truck driver. He looked at her and shrugged.
"It's gonna cost a pretty penny to repair her. Cheaper to buy a new car." He commented.
"I don't care. It'll take time but I have to keep her."
"Are you sure you’re ok, Brittany? The car rolled." Johnny asked, concerned.
“Good thing I got that roll bar installed, huh?” She brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "I'm fine." She wiped the tears away. She walked over to the sidewalk and grabbed her purse and sunglasses that were thrown clear. She looked at the broken arm on her Liz Claiborne sunglasses and cursed. Her Gucci purse was destroyed. The strap had been torn off and the leather was badly damaged. Her cell phone rang. "Now what?" She muttered.
"Brittany, hey how's it going?" Her best friend, Gretchen asked.
"Swell, I just had my car totaled by some kid in a SUV." She stated.
"Are you ok? What about Tristian?" Her voice laced with concern.
"I'm fine and Tristian's at school."
"Well, thank God." Gretchen commented. Brittany rolled her eyes. "So I guess picking Tara up from school is out of the question?"
Tara was Gretchen's fifteen-year-old daughter, who had adopted Christian and her as second parents. She was always offering to baby-sit but just wanted to come out and hang out with Christian mostly. They had karaoked a lot in the garage that he converted into a mini studio.
"No of course not. You forgot we moved to Mayberry. I'm sure I can see if Susie will loan me her car."
"I'm really sorry to put you in this predicament."
"Nah, I'm fine and I'll get her. Don't worry." She hung up.
She spotted Susie pushing through the crowd. She smiled. This small town of possibly 500 was like Mayberry. Nothing can happen without everyone knowing and knowing who's involved. She rolled her eyes. What the hell was I thinking?
"Thank God you're ok!" Susie praised. Brittany wrinkled her nose. She didn't feel like praising anyone her car was totaled. She shook her head.
"As if anything else can go wrong today." She sighed. "My phone has been cut off. The power's next if I don't get it paid. I just can’t get used to this suburban life. I still have to get Tristian and Christian is working today at that new place and…" She broke down and sat on the sidewalk. "My sunglass's broken!"
Susie clucked her tongue. "Easy girl. You can borrow my car." Susie reminded Brittany of Martina McBride. Short and petite, Susie was a wonderful friend and neighbor.
After traveling from Virginia and moving from house to house because of financing problems, she and Christian finally had a home of their own. It was a nice little house on a dead end street in town. They knew it was theirs before they saw inside it. A home of their own on their own. In this small town, they learned what it meant to have friends and a home. Although they have been there just under a year, it felt as if they were born and raised there.
She smiled, gratefully at Susie and gave her a hug. "You're the best."
"Hell, what are friends for?" Susie commented.
"To survive, that's for sure." Brittany replied.
She went and paid the bills and then picked up Tara. Tara was feeling bad. Brittany took her home and laid her down in the spare bedroom, also known as Tristian's playroom. She fell asleep immediately. Brittany walked outside and lit a cigarette. As she puffed away, she enjoyed the scenery and reminisced.
"Brittany? Brittany Sheffield?" Christian inquired, as he walked over to her. She sat perched on a bar stool at the end corner of the counter.
She looked up and smiled, drunkenly, "Hey, Christian. How's it going?"
"Good. And you?" He asked, watching her light up a cigarette and drink the rest of her drink.
"Great. Celebrating." She stated, motioning the waitress for another one.
Really? What?" He asked, as he took a swig of his beer and lit a cigarette.
"My birthday, of course. Hell everyone forgets."
"Your friends forgot?" He sympathized.
She nodded her head. He looked her over. Brittany Sheffield had long auburn hair and green eyes. She was tall and confident. She was wearing simple black jeans and a white sweater. She wore black leather boots. She was elegant in her own style. She frowned.
"Yeah, they forgot. My best friend was too busy with my fiancé to remember." She drank her new drink down. He watched in awe, as she didn't even come up for air until it was finished.
"I remember you giving them a run for their money in high school with the funnel." He joked.
She smiled. "Yeah. That's me party girl." She sighed and shook her head.
"So come hang out with me and my friends. We'll help you celebrate." He offered.
She looked him over. Christian Cross was definitely in the sexiest man alive category. She had always admired him. Although they ran in the same circles in high school, they were never single at the same time. Now here he was in black jeans and a dark blue shirt. The blue brought out his eyes. God, she could just lose herself in his eyes and drown. His long black hair feathered back out of his face. She took a breath. She wasn't ready for anything. She sure as hell wasn't the type to take him home and bed. She shook her head.
"No, I'm just not in the mood." She declined.
"Come on. I remember you used to play a mean game of pool?" He persuaded. "Unless you're chicken?" He smiled and she melted.
"Alright." She got off the stool and the room rotated. "Wow, when did Outlaws get a moving floor?" He chuckled and took her arm. He introduced her to his friends, Greg and Tim. She ordered some crown royal shots. They watched as she amazed them by taking them straight with no chasers.
The phone rang, bringing her back to reality. "Hello?"
"Hi, honey. Guess it works?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"How's everything going?"
"Great. My car was wrecked today. No Tristian is at school and ok. Tara's sick. I paid the bills. I have Susie's car. I still have to call insurance so it's a good thing it's back on."
"I'm sorry. Are you ok?"
"Yeah. The car rolled and I managed to walk away from it."
"Thank God."
"Why? What about my car? I'm so tired of people saying that. My car was totaled."
Christian sighed. "You know it's a blessing you are still here for me and Tristian."
She rolled her eyes and pouted. "It's not fair."
"Did you bring her home?"
"Damn straight. I had Luke bring it on the flatbed."
"I'll see how bad she is when I get home."
"A hundred grand." She replied, sarcastically.
"What? That's absurd, Brett!" He exclaimed. "I'll never have that kind of money."
"One day you will, Christian and I want her fixed. I won't give her up."
He sighed. "There's no guarantee."
"No there aren't but we take that leap of faith and see what happens, right?"
"Yeah, but, baby I gotta go. I love you." He hung up.
Brittany stared out across the yard. The whole reason for them moving out to Tennessee was for Christian to pursue his passion of singing. Last weekend they had gone to the studio and finally recorded Christian's demo. They were going to pass it along to the major labels on Music Row. They told them not to get their hopes up but they would do their best. It was a waiting game now. She knew in her heart that that was what Christian was supposed to do. If only it was that simple for her to know where she stood in this world. She lit another cigarette and drifted back to the past.
Brittany packed up and moved out that night. She went and stayed with Tavish and planned out her next move. She moved into another apartment and slowly began to move things around Keith’s business under his nose. She started to date Christian. He moved in shortly after.
One night they were siting around and he brought out his guitar and began to sing Arms Wide Open by Creed. She listened in awe.
“Do you write songs?” She asked him. He shook his head.
“I can write music for a song.”
“Let me see if I have something you can use.” She opened the bottom desk drawer and pulled out a binder.
He began to play some music. She flipped through the pages before she looked up. “I think I got one.”
She took it out and handed it to him and he began to strum and sing the words. She smiled.
“This is what we are supposed to do.” She stated firmly.
It seemed like so long ago but it was just a couple years ago. She broke out of her flashback and went to go pick up Tristian. When she arrived home, she noticed their explorer in the driveway.
She walked in and put Tristian down for his nap. She walked out to the garage and found Christian singing. She stood in the doorway listening to him. She loved listening to him sing and watching him perform. He was a natural. He stopped the music.
"Guess what?" He asked. He was excited. She could tell.
"What? You have better news than I do?" She replied, sarcastically.
He grinned. She melted. “How about a new car?”
He held up a letter. She squealed with delight when she saw the Dream Works letterhead.
"No way! Oh my gosh! How awesome." She read it. They wanted to sign him.
The perfect ending to a crappy day.
Chapter 2
Christian Cross became an overnight success story. He took country music by storm. He had a huge fan base already. It was amazing to see how fast everything took place. He had interviews and shows scheduled. Everyone wanted him on his or her show.
It had been six months of non-stop action. It still didn't seem like it would slow down any. He would want her to return to Tennessee with Tristian. He didn't like him traveling so much and not getting the education he needed.
She sat on the side of the stage watching him in concert she was elated. She couldn't believe the turnout for his concert here in Los Angeles. She couldn't believe she was there. It had been her goal to get here and now that she was here, she wasn't planning on leaving.
Christian had promised to take her to the mall to go shopping. She would then figure out a way to stay longer. At least get an apartment or condominium. It just wasn't fair that she had to go back to that boring small town, while he was living it up. She had a life before him and Tristian and she loved her life, Christian, and Tristian but something had to give for her.
"Look at this place. It's so huge!" Brittany commented as she looked up around the mall. She ran directly into someone and looked to apologize.
Instead, she became speechless. She was staring at Rick Lancet. The hottest male pop star out right now. He was tall with short brown hair and brown eyes. She finally found her voice. "I'm so sorry. I'm being a tourist." Her accent came out thick.
He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "It's ok. Where are you from?"
"Tennessee." She replied. Their eyes were locked and they couldn't break free.
"Oh my God! Honey do you know who that is?" His wife, Kymberly, squealed. Kymberly Dawson was the hottest female pop star. Kymberly was bleached blonde-haired woman with brown eyes. Brittany really couldn’t see what everyone believed to be so wonderful about her except her huge chest. Together they made the perfect Hollywood couple, Barbie and Ken of pop music.
"No I don't." He was trying hard to break away. However, this girl had him completely intrigued. "Who are you?" He asked.
"Not her. Christian, hi, it's a pleasure to meet you." Kymberly extended a manicured hand to him. Christian gently brought it to his lips.
"The pleasure is mine." He replied. She smiled, coyly.
"Brittany." She replied. Rick smiled.
"It's a pleasure, Brittany." He kissed her hand, and for a minute, she thought she would faint.
"I would love to talk to you some more. I'm a huge fan of yours." Kymberly rambled on to Christian, oblivious to everything else around her. Christian and she had been wrapped in conversation.
Rick smiled and whispered to her. "She doesn't shut up."
They went out to dinner together. As they were seated, people started coming over. Brittany watched as the three of them indulged their fans in signing autographs. She sat back feeling like an outsider. She stared at the menu. She always tried to stay away from the cameras. She sighed and excused herself to the bathroom. She stared in the mirror. What are you doing here? This isn't your life. No matter how bad you want it. It isn't you. You can't be like them. She cursed at herself.
"You know for someone who looks so damn innocent you sure are a hell cat." Keith complimented, as he helped her drag the body to the car.
"Whatever. You know you wouldn't have it any other way. Rough on the streets and dirty in bed. The perfect woman." Brittany retorted, positioning the body behind the steering wheel.
"Maybe you should go to one of those finishing schools and learn to be a lady?" He joked.
"Yeah and you can go to hell and learn how to burn." She reached in the car and released the parking brake. They stood back and watched it roll off the pier.
"Good job." He complimented.
"Do I get a gold star?" She asked, sarcastically.
"Nope, something better." He replied, grabbing her. He undid her jeans and slid his hands down them. She gasped. He slid his fingers into her. "Ready to get dirty?" He teased. He pushed her down on the docks, sliding her jeans down. "On all fours, bitch." He growled. He had his way with her. She let him. Why fight the inevitable? She thought, hopelessly. After he was done, she slipped back into her jeans, got a pill out of her pocket, and swallowed it.
Keith Summers watched her. Damn, she was hot. She was more woman than he knew what to do with. She was right that she was the perfect woman. Every guy she meets gets aroused. He couldn't stand working without her because he was afraid she'd run off but then working with her all he could think of was getting deep inside of her. She was definitely a professional at everything she did.
"You look great!" Kymberly purred, as she looked at Brittany in the mirror.
She wrinkled her nose at the sight of herself in a bikini. "You got a one piece?"
"Why? You don't need it." She said, turning to Rick. "Right?"
He nodded in agreement. "You look great, Brett."
"See? He's the one that has the right to say it." She smiled.
"I'm not sure I can do this, Kym."
"Too late. I'm not listening to you, Brittany. You already agreed so you have to. You can't back out now." Kym argued.
"But you don't seem to understand that I don't want to jump in bed with your husband."
"I wouldn't trust just anyone with him. Come on. We're both happily married. So it's perfect."
Brittany shook her head. "I'm honored that you want me in the video but I just can't."
Rick placed a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be fine. I'll take care of you."
She looked at him. That's what I'm afraid of, she thought. Instead, she smiled. "Thanks."
Brittany laid on the beach chair wearing her sunglasses. Rick was walking along the beach. She lowered her shades as he walked over. Kym was singing in the background. Brittany could hardly breathe as he sat down on the edge of her chair. He reached out and touched her face. Out of pure instinct, she pulled away.
"CUT!" Stan, the director shouted. "Brittany, honey, you can't pull away. You're supposed to be into him." He instructed. She nodded. "Roll tape."
Rick smiled, as he leaned across her to get the tanning lotion. He poured it over her legs and rubbed it in. She swallowed hard, watching him. She licked her lips, as he rubbed her thighs. He massaged her feet. She was holding her breath.
"You're very sexy." He whispered.
"Yeah, right." She replied, unmoved.
He rubbed her belly, smiling at the butterfly belly ring and matching tattoo. "I bet there are stories behind those." He commented.
"You don't get to hear them. But so you know all my belly rings have a matching tattoo."
"I don't see... oh you are bad." He smiled. "Kym won't get one. She's afraid."
"Fear is a terrible habit to have."
"Aren't you scared of anything?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. My turn."
He looked at her puzzled. "For what?"
"To rub you down."
"That's not in the script."
"Afraid?" She challenged. He pulled her to her feet and sat down on the chair.
She took the bottle of lotion from him and poured it on his chest. She rubbed him down and he closed his eyes and moaned. She smiled.
"CUT! Whose idea was that?" Stan commanded.
Brittany looked sheepishly at him. "Mine."
"That was brilliant. I loved it. I mean after all we'll have female viewers too." He was excited.
Brittany took a deep breath. Rick chuckled. "Were you scared?"
She shook her head. "No nervous."
Kym walked over. "See, you two were great. There was real chemistry on the set. I could feel it. So, hungry?" She asked. Brittany shook her head.
"No, thanks. I think I'm gonna do some sightseeing. I've never been here before. It's so beautiful and I have a things to do and see list. I have to accomplish it in the few weeks that we're here."
"Oh, well, in that case why don't Rick take you around? It's not safe to be out by yourself. They'll try to take advantage of you. I would go but I don't like the heat."
Brittany tried not to show her dislike in the way Kym acted. She was so spoiled but since she grew up with everything on a golden platter for her what else could be expected of her? She shrugged. "I don't mind being by myself and I seriously doubt anyone is gonna bother me."
Kym shook her head. "Nonsense. Rick, you don't mind, do you?"
Rick shrugged. "No I don't mind. I would love to enjoy the sights too."
"See then it's settled. After all, you two are doing an intimate scene so you might as well get comfortable together." She walked off. Brittany watched her go and shook her head.
Rick read her thoughts. "Almost as if she wanted us to get comfortable in bed." He muttered.
She looked at him, wearily. "So want to go shark diving?"
"You're kidding right?"
Brittany and Rick got back late. They had to run to the hotel and change. Brittany slid into a black dress. She swept her hair up in a neat French roll and threw on some accessories. There'd be hell to pay since she couldn't get hair and makeup. She looked in the mirror, opened up her makeup bag, and threw it on hurriedly. Rick was already banging on her door. One last glance in the mirror and she ran out the door. They showed up at the restaurant they were filming at and everyone was staring at them. She felt self-conscious and tried to shy away from the stares behind Rick.
"Sorry, we got lost." Brittany apologized.
Rick chuckled. "That's putting it mildly."
Stan shook his head. "Places everyone."
Rick pulled out her chair and she sat. Kym started singing in the background again. Brittany smiled up at the waiter as he poured the wine. She sipped it staring into Rick's eyes. She placed her glass down and he reached over for her hand. She smiled.
"I had fun today." He replied.
"Me too."
"What's on the agenda for tomorrow?"
She laughed. "Surfing."
"I guess you're not kidding. What's after that?"
"Its all day. You have to take a class. The day after is pottery class, though."
"I think that's more my speed. These life threatening thrills you're after just are too much."
"You have to live your life not just have a life."
"You have the most interesting philosophies."
She smiled. "Stop teasing me."
"I'm not." He leaned over and cupped her face in his hands. She took a deep breath and held it. He leaned closer and kissed her. She allowed herself to kiss him back.
"CUT!" Stan called out. "You two are just awesome!"
Kym came over. She looked stunning in the red dress she was wearing. "Wow. What a kiss!" She exclaimed. "I don't know the last time you kissed me like that." She pouted. Rick pulled her to him and kissed her. Brittany then allowed herself to breathe.
She thought about heading back to the hotel but decided to go for a walk along the beach. She took off her heels and walked barefooted in the sand.
At first, she was excited about it. Then realizing she had to do a love scene with Rick, she felt sick. Kymberly had made it clear she wanted the hottest, sexiest video award this year for this video.
It was great to be in Jamaica and able to do things. Nevertheless, she was missing Christian and Tristian and couldn't believe he was letting her do this.
She heard footsteps behind her and braced herself. As a hand fell upon her shoulder, she grabbed it and flipped the person on their back. She looked down at a stunned Rick.
"I'm so sorry." She helped him up. He brushed the sand off him.
"Well, I see you don't really need me."
"I took self defense classes. I'm jumpy when it comes to people sneaking up on me. It's pure instincts. I hope I didn't hurt you too bad."
"Nah. I'll be ok when I can get to my chiropractor again."
"So what's up?"
"I just thought you would like company. Plus, my wife shoved me out the door to find you."
"Well, at least now you can tell her I'm not defenseless."
"Where are you off to?"
"To eat. Didn't you notice that we didn't eat today?"
He thought about it and laughed. "You're right."
She arrived on set. They had already set up the bed. She stared at it. She couldn't breathe every time she thought about it. Rick came up behind her and stood. She inhaled sharply.
“I can’t do this.” She whispered.
“I’ll help you.”
She sighed and went to her dressing room.
She slid into her robe. I can't breathe. I can't do this. God help me. I don't want to do this. The knock at the door startled her. "Who is it?"
"Kym." Brittany opened the door. Kym stepped in.
"Stop being so nervous. Just imagine you're with Christian and go at it. I really want this steamy. Don't think of Rick as my husband. For the next however long, he's all yours."
"Please don't tell me you told Rick that too." Brittany replied.
"Of course I did. I want this to be really hot. I don't want him to feel as if he's betraying me. And I don't want you to feel that way. So as long as it takes and however it takes I want you two to be comfortable and make it real as possible."
Brittany smiled, "You really have a way with words."
As she walked over to the bed, the music started. She could feel everyone watching this time. Kym was using voice-overs instead of singing right now because she wanted to watch. She wanted to make sure they did it right. Rick glanced up at her. He was already in bed. Brittany tried to shrug off the robe but she was frozen with fear. Rick noticed and sat up. He reached over and pulled her into bed. He undid her robe and slid it off her. He tossed it aside. He kissed her.
"CUT!"
Brittany closed her eyes. This was gonna be a long day.
"Brittany, you have to slide the robe off standing up." Stan called out.
Rick looked at her. She was shaking. "It's ok. I'll help you." They both grabbed their robes and put them back on. He stood up with her.
"Roll it."
Rick reached over, untied her robe, and slid it off. He opened the covers for her to slide in. He then took his off and climbed in with her.
"Rewriting the script." He smiled, kissing her. The cameras were all around and she could feel them. She was shaking again. He whispered in her ears calming her. "Relax. Breathe. It's just us. Close your eyes for a moment. Breathe." He was kissing her neck. She turned it more and arched up to him. "There you go. It's just me and you."
She turned back and captured his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck. The kissing and rubbing against one another went on. She writhed around in the motions. She was careful to avoid too much eye contact with Rick. She could feel him losing control and was embarrassed by it. She was ashamed that she was getting just as aroused. It seemed like an eternity before she finally heard the words she was waiting for.
"CUT!" Stan called out. "Alright you two take a break."
She looked at Rick. He was staring at her in a weird way. "What?"
He shook his head and reached for his robe that someone was handing him. He quickly walked away. She stared after him. Her heart was racing. Someone was holding out her robe, she took it gratefully and pulled it on. She headed back to her dressing room. Kym grabbed her arm.
"I need a favor. I know I've been asking a lot lately but can you sing?"
Brittany laughed. "No. That's not my department."
Stan walked over. "Our backup singer got sick. We need the back up vocals. Can you please help?" He pleaded.
Brittany shook her head. "I really can't sing."
"Try this. You've heard Kym sing it. Please." He handed her the chorus. Brittany reluctantly looked it over and opened her mouth.
"You keep leading me-leading me back to you." She sang out perfectly on key. Rick had stepped out of his dressing room and froze staring at her. In fact, everyone was staring at her.
"Impressive. I think we discovered a gem right here." Stan complimented excitedly. "Come with us."
Kym hung back pouting. Rick walked up beside her. "Hoping to embarrass her?"
Kym gave him a look of horror. "I would never do that. I'm quite impressed by all her hidden talents. How many have you found?" She shot back, defensively.
"Easy. You are the one for me." He slid his arms around her and kissed her while he watched Brittany getting set up to sing.
Brittany locked the door and headed over to her purse. She opened up her compact and smiled. Man, how I have missed you. You are gonna get me through this mess. She thought to herself as she picked up a little pill. She swallowed it and then drank some soda. She sat in front of the vanity staring at her reflection. She wrinkled her nose. When is it all gonna change, Lord? The voice that came back startled her. When you decide to change it. She looked around the room. Her imagination was running wild on her or that pill kicked in too fast. Whatever, she thought, as if God would talk to me. She banished the thought.
Christian had gotten her into church when she got with him. She confessed her sins and repented. She walked by faith and not by sight. She left her world behind, for a while. She closed her eyes. It wasn't her fault. Not really. Christian was the one that faltered and took her down with him. If he couldn't be true, why should she believe she could?
"You're overreacting, Brett. She's nothing more than a co-worker." Christian defended.
Brittany shook her head. Four months she had been suffering through this pregnancy and he had been running around on her. Now when it's all there in black and white he's denying it. "Why? Why did you marry me? Did you think I wouldn't find out? How stupid do you think I am? I'm not one of those stupid girls you used to go out with. I have street smarts."
"Just because it happened to you before doesn't mean I'm doing it!"
"And you were at her house when I was here in pain why?"
He shook his head. "Why do we have to keep going over this?"
"Because I needed you and you were off with that whore!"
He walked away. "I'm not doing this."
"You want to be single; you go right ahead and walk out that door." She warned.
He looked at her and sighed. He sat on the couch. "Fine but I'm not saying anything to you."
"No. I'm sure you're all talked out." She glared at him. "Why do you want this baby?"
He looked at her. "I love you and the baby."
"You know it's not too late. We can back out of this and go our separate ways."
He shook his head. "That's not an option. You know that. I want you both."
She was crying. "Yeah, like you wanted HER today."
He sighed. "I don't want anyone except you and our baby."
She was the one that left. She considered running off the bridge, getting in an accident but she couldn't bring herself to wreck her car. Instead, she ran to Tavish, he was the only one who really knew how to comfort her. He was the only one who cared about her.
"Things will be different, Brett, When the baby comes. He's scared right now and running wild. He'll settle into it. Give it time." Tavish had promised holding her in his arms.
"Brittany! It's show time. Come on." Someone called through the door, jerking her into reality. She sighed. She pulled on the white gown. She went over and opened the door. Rick stood before her. She stepped back.
"I didn't mean to scare you." He said.
She shook her head. "You surprised me. I wasn't expecting you to be there. Anyone for that fact. What do you want?"
He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I was just gonna walk you over."
"Thanks." She replied. She was relaxing. The pill she took earlier was taking her fears away.
She watched, as Kym appeared looking stunning in the white negligee. Kym looked at her. “I think you may want make up to touch up and do something with your hair. You still have that tousled look.”
Brittany nodded and did as she was told. Pick your battles. She thought to herself.
The music started up and Kym and Rick fell into bed, kissing and caressing. It looked really passionate.
They keyed her to walk in the room. She stood beside the bed as Rick kissed Kym. He looked at her. He closed his eyes as if trying to forget her.
“You keep leading me-leading me back to you. Oh oh oh you keep leading me back to you ou ou.”
“Alright you guys. That’s a wrap. Get ready for the next scene.”
Kym pulled Rick to her and kissed him. Brittany headed back to her room. She pulled the dress off her and sat in front of the mirror. The knock at the door startled her. She grabbed for her robe as Kym opened the door.
“You were wonderful.”
Brittany forced a smile. “Thanks.”
“Are you ready? They’re waiting.”
She'd be better in this shower scene. She would be able to focus more on Rick.
Brittany just about ran off the set as soon as the director called cut. She was dressed and running back to her hotel room to hide. She didn't wait for Kym or Rick. She just wanted to get away from the prying eyes and the embarrassment. His touches and kisses were setting fire to her. She had never thought that she would ever want anyone after Christian. Now she still fought the thought that she even had a remote chance.
Halfway to the hotel she heard some music and followed it to a club. She sat down and ordered a drink and dinner. She remembered a time she would have never gone anywhere by herself. But that was the past; she wasn't gonna think about it now. She wanted to enjoy some authentic Jamaican cuisine and get drunk. She wanted to erase this day from her memory.
Rick walked in. She stared at him. Why won't he go away? He walked over and sat down with her. She gave him a sideways glance and waited for him to explain himself. The waitress came over and took his order. She was staring at him pretty hard trying to recall who he was as she walked off.
He looked at her. "Kym." He stated. She nodded.
"Were we not good enough today?" She asked, sarcastically.
"Of course not. I do think she enjoyed your humility though."
Brittany looked away. "Yeah, it came a day early. At least it wasn't in bed."
He chuckled. "Me, too. They might have gotten suspicious then."
Her cheeks reddened. "Yeah, well, it happens."
"You sing beautifully. Did you know or was that another hidden talent?"
She shrugged. "Christian's the singer, not me. I write."
"Maybe we can work on a song together."
She eyed him trying to see if he was teasing her. She knew he wasn't. "Maybe."
"We didn't get to go surfing." He faked a pout.
"You must be so heart broken." She quipped. The waitress brought them their drinks. She was still concentrating on Rick. Brittany lit a cigarette.
He smiled. "I know you are so I set it up for tomorrow and we got the day off so they can review the shots taken today to see if we need to redo any. Of course, if we do it's gonna be a long night. But we got the day free. I figured you wouldn't be heartbroken to miss your pottery class."
She looked at him and smiled. "Really. You did that? Thanks, that was thoughtful. Actually, I'm pretty happy that we got to go shark diving. I'm just sorry I got us lost."
"I enjoyed diving and exploring with you. It was exciting being that close to the sharks."
Her face lit up. "They are so majestic. You know I always wanted to do that. Funny in third grade I wanted to be a marine biologist."
"Really? What happened?"
She nodded. "Life. It takes you through more things and shows you more. Then you wonder why should I settle for that when I can have this?"
"You're not that materialistic." He cornered.
She shook her head. "Not now. I was. Real bad. Christian saved me. Sort of. Now I care about the things I have not what I can get. I respect it a lot more. Of course with Christian and the life we had I had to live on a budget." She shivered at the word.
He chuckled. "So what do you want to be now?" He asked.
She shrugged. "Happy."
Their food arrived. The waitress couldn't control herself anymore. "Aren't you Rick Lancet?"
Rick glanced at her and shook her head. "Sorry. I get that a lot but no, I wish."
She frowned and walked away. Brittany raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged it off.
"Aren't you happy?" He asked.
"I guess I should be. I mean my husband is famous and I have money." She shook her head. "I want my own life. You know? My own career, my own wealth, my life. I don't want to be dependant."
"I can understand that. So what do you want to do?"
She shrugged. "Be a drug lord?"
He laughed. "I think that's a hard profession to get into. You have to be born into it and honey; I think that's too late for you. Come on, seriously, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I'm not as talented as everyone else I know is. I mean since I've been on this roller coaster I have met talented singers and movie stars. That's not me. I don't have any special talents." He was staring at her again in that way. "What?"
"But you wrote his songs. That's something. You don't see it?" He asked, in disbelief. "You're good at what you do. Everything that you do. Do you not know that when we do our scenes you change into someone else? You are terrific in front of the camera. If you weren't then we would still be doing those scenes repeatedly. Not that I would mind but you are a natural in front of the camera." He complimented her. He took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. "Do you always search for things that are right in front of you and not know it?"
She swallowed hard. "I don't know what you mean." It came out soft as a whisper.
"You feel it too?" He whispered.
Brittany closed her eyes. "Feel what?"
He pulled away. "You're right. Nothing, I apologize."
They arrived back at the hotel and he walked her to her door. He lingered there while she opened the door. He stole a glance around the hallway before pulling her in his arms and kissing her. Brittany melted against him as they pushed their way into the room. They were backing towards the bed. They fell back against it and he brushed her hair away from her face.
"You're so beautiful." He whispered.
She shook her head and pushed him away. "We can't. We can't do this."
He nodded in agreement. "Sorry. I got carried away. It's just that you have this control."
She raised her eyebrow at him. "Me? Yeah right. Look Rick don’t. Ok just don't. I don't have the self-esteem to go through the humiliation that you really think that. I'm just sorry I'm not an easy mark for you. I'm married and I take that vow seriously."
He shook his head. "I'm serious. I want to know if you feel it to. Then I'll leave."
She glared at him. "You insist on doing this to me? Fine. Yes, I find myself drawn to you."
He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. She sighed. "Sweet dreams, Britt." He left.
She stared after him. Her lips were burning from his kisses. She closed her eyes and screamed quietly. I can't take this. I can't. I'm not strong. I'm human. Please don't do this to me.
"Come on, CeCe Why not? We've been best friends forever." Tavish pleaded.
She looked at him, wearily. "I want it to be special. You know that."
"You know I love you. Love's important." He countered, rubbing on her leg.
She giggled. "You're impossible. I want to feel the passion."
"You know we finally decided to date and you won't give it up." He pouted.
She laid in his bed in a tee shirt that came down to her knees. "But I live here with you. I feel like your sister." He growled, as he rolled on top of her. Her eyes widened.
"Do you feel that, CeCe? I wouldn't have that if you were my sister and I wouldn't have you in my bed!" She shrunk against the pillow and bit her lip. "Damn." He cursed rolling off her. "Sorry."
She turned away. He turned off the light. He felt her arms slide around him.
"OK." She whispered.
"No." He stated. "You were right."
She lowered her hands. He drew a sharp breath. "No you were right. I would rather you take it then some guy that didn't care a damn about me. At least I know you would die for me."
The phone was ringing. She woke from her dream. She reached over and answered it. "Hello?"
"Hi, honey. How's everything going?" Christian greeted, cheerfully.
"Great. I'm having a blast. Wish you were here, though."
"My flight will be in tonight."
She sat up. "Really? That's great! Tristian coming with you?"
"Of course."
"I love you."
"I love you too. I'll see you tonight and you can fill me in on everything."
"OK." She hung up. She jumped out of bed and took a shower. When she finished, dressing there was a knock at the door. Rick's voice was behind it. "Are you ready to go yet?"
She opened the door. His eyes raked her over. Suddenly she was self-conscious in the bikini top and shorts. Her bikini top had the rebel flag design on it and the boy shorts matched it. She tugged at the legs now.
"Wow! You look phenomenal." He commented. "Oh by the way, I love the tattoo on your butt. It suits you. You should change your belly ring to fit it, though." He smiled.
"My playboy bunny. I was wondering if you actually saw it or if someone told you about it." She noted his Ocean Pacific swim trunks and tank top. She looked away, guiltily. “Christian called. He's flying in tonight with Tristian."
He forced a smile. "That's great. We'll make sure we don't get lost this time."
Brittany was a natural. She learned quickly and in no time was surfing like a professional. The ocean on the other hand was pounding Rick. He finally gave up and watched her from the beach. After a while, she came in and sat beside him. She reached in the cooler and pulled out a soda. She reached in her bag and got her cigarettes out.
"Wow! That was so fun!" She exclaimed, happily.
Rick smiled. "You're a natural."
"Thanks. I always thought it would be boring. But I really enjoyed it."
"Christian surf?"
She nodded, inhaling. "Yeah. He's a beach bum."
"Why now?"
She shrugged. "He's always been better at everything. I could never pick up the things if he taught me. He took me skiing one time and well this is what he told me. 'It's just like skating.'" Rick looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah. Well, guess what you can't put your toe down to stop. I made a human snowball." She laughed. "After that it was umm golfing. Just hit a ball to the hole. I sprained my wrist. Let's see after that umm bowling. I threw out my back. Of course mind you I am real good at these things just not around him." Rick was laughing so hard at her.
"Does he make you that nervous?"
"Let's just say if I didn't know better I'd swear he was on scene yesterday."
"So I guess we can't show him how well you surf?"
"Only if you tape it. I'll probably drown if he watches me."
"That's sad. So he thinks you're a total klutz at everything?" She nodded. "Aren't you good at anything around him?" She shook her head. He was about to say something and she cut him off.
"Not even that but we won't go there. I feel really inadequate around him for some odd reason. I took tennis in college. To pass we had to beat the teacher. I passed. So, I took Christian out and he never played before. He beat me."
Rick looked at her and shook his head. "Well, I'm glad you can be yourself around me."
When they got back to the hotel, they saw Kym and Christian in the restaurant. They walked over to join them.
"Hey!" Christian said, getting up to hug Brittany. "I just ran into Kym and she said you two went surfing. How did you do?"
She grinned. "I did pretty good."
"She's being modest. She was a natural. The guys out there even said it."
"Really?" Christian asked, skeptically. "We'll have to go out sometime."
She shook her head. "Don't know when we'll get the chance to."
"Speaking of natural, we reviewed the video today and oh my God. The camera loves you, Brett. I think Stan is thinking of casting you in some films. He really fell in love with you. You and Rick had so much chemistry on tape I thought it was gonna melt all the equipment." Kym gushed.
Brittany glanced away, shyly. "Oh please. You don't have to exaggerate."
"No I'm serious." Kym said grabbing her hand. "Do you know what that means?"
Brittany shook her head. "I don't have that kind of talent. Excuse me. I think I got too much sun. I need to go lie down." She looked at Christian. "You don't have to rush up."
"No I'm coming with you." He answered. "I'll see you guys later."
They went up to the room. She peeled off her clothes and walked into the bathroom. He followed. She turned the water on in the shower. "Want company?" He asked, seductively.
She nodded her head. "But just so you know I'm on my period."
He pouted. "But I'm feeling really neglected."
She shook her head. "I really don't feel good tonight. I just want to lay in your arms and sleep. It's been so long since I was able to sleep. I miss being in your arms."
He kissed her on the forehead. "Me too, honey."
The nightmares came back while she slept. The past she was running from that ran after her. The cry of a baby and the sound of the engine roaring to life. She cried. The tears soaked the pillow and woke her.
Christian was gone when she woke. He left a note asking her to call him. She got dressed. She picked up the phone and called him. She then, headed down to the hotel restaurant. She ran into Rick in the hall. He looked at her. She took a deep breath, inhaling his cologne.
"Sorry, Brett. I was just on my way to the restaurant."
"Me, too." She replied, quietly, avoiding eye contact. "Did you take a nap too?"
He nodded as he pressed the down button and backed away waiting for the elevator. She stole a glance in his direction. He nervously avoided eye contact.
She could not remember what she did wrong. "What did I do?" Brittany whispered.
Rick shook his head. "It wasn't you."
"You're different now."
The elevator door opened, Rick stood aside to let her go first. "I'm sorry." He whispered, softly to her. They stood close, he looked in her eyes, and she heard him whimper. She melted against him, leaned up, and kissed him. She closed her eyes and in that moment, she forgot everything around her. It was only her, him, and this kiss.
The bell dinged and they pulled away, guiltily as the door opened. They walked into the restaurant and spotted Christian and Kym at a secluded back table. They looked at each other.
They made their way back to the table and watched as Christian and Kym straightened their posture more. Brittany looked uneasily at Christian. "Is everything okay?"
He smiled and nodded. "How are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Well, how would you like to go back to Cali?"
"You're kidding right?"
“You said that you wanted to visit right?”
Brittany smiled. “Honestly?”
Christian smiled. “Anything for you, love.” He kissed her.
Chapter 3
Brittany stared out the window. She couldn't believe she was on her way back to California. Kym had told Christian about the many opportunities that awaited her and begged him to let her take her back. Christian had decided that it was in her best interest to go. With a tearful goodbye, Brittany had boarded the plane. She hated the thought of being away from him and Tristian for so long. She made up her mind to quickly get settled and send for Tristian.
"It's gonna be fine." Kym comforted, patting her hand. "I have to go pee." She got up.
Rick looked at her. She sighed; her eyes were threatening to spill over again. He reached over and took her hand. "I'm here." She nodded and squeezed his hand before letting go.
"Do you believe in God?" She asked.
"Yeah, of course. Don't you?"
She shrugged. "I'm trying. I mean I know Jesus died for me and all that but... Do you believe He plans ALL things in your life?"
Rick thought for a moment. "That's what the Bible says."
"Every single mistake and second of your life?"
Rick nodded. "He knows we're human and not perfect. Mistakes are allowed."
She shook her head. "Do you believe everything has a purpose?"
"Yeah. Everything in your life has been planned for a purpose."
She sat in silence. "Everything?"
He nodded. "Everything." He confirmed, watching her intensely. "Why?"
She shrugged. "Just wondering."
"You know you can talk to me."
She nodded. She turned toward the window and closed her eyes. She didn't want to talk about it she wanted to forget it. Why wasn't she able to forget it? Why did it haunt her so much?
"CeCe, don't worry. I've got everything under control here." Tavish soothed.
He sounded so close but she knew he was far away. She was holding the phone and looking out the window for Christian. "Are you sure? I mean Keith is not gonna just let me go."
"I told you before you're safe. I am taking care of it. He may have a contract on you but no one is stupid enough to go after you. Don't worry. You did the right thing. Christian is a good guy."
She smiled, looking at the wedding band on her finger. "Yeah, a real good guy."
"Congrats. Now, get off there before he comes home. And you don't have to keep in touch. I'll know if you need me. But I think Christian will take you far away from this mess you got into."
She giggled. "But it was worth it."
"Yeah it sure was." He agreed.
“But what about…”
“A wedding present. Forget it and leave it in the past. Live for today and tomorrow, princess.”
“Tavish, how can I ever repay you?”
“You already repaid me a long time ago. Anyways, I know if I ever need you…”
“Always. Anytime. For anything.” She hung up.
She stared at the mirror. She went into the closet and took out her Fender stratacaster. She opened the case and removed her guitar. Christian always wondered why she was so protective over it. She opened the inside of the case. It had been hollowed out. Inside was ten million dollars; she ran her hands across it.
"It wasn't for love." She whispered. Rick looked at her; she had fallen asleep and now was talking. Kymberly had found a reporter on the plane to talk with and he sat there and listened to Brittany. She was tossing almost as if she was fighting someone. What wasn't for love? He thought, sadly. "I need the passion and the love." She murmured.
He watched and listened as her dreams tormented her. He could not make sense of it but was happy to wake her when they neared landing.
Kym sat back down and looked over at Brittany as she woke. "You slept the whole time?"
Brittany nodded. "I'm not good at traveling."
They gathered their luggage and jumped in the awaiting limo. Kym's cell phone rang. She talked on it for a few minutes then hung up. "I have to go to the studio." She announced. "You two go on back to the house and get settled. I'll be home as soon as I can."
Rick watched Brittany out on the patio smoking a cigarette. She paced nervously.
"You talk in your sleep." He chuckled. She looked up, horrified.
"What did I say?" She stammered.
He shrugged. "Nothing that made sense."
She sighed. "You couldn't make anything out?"
"It wasn't for love." He recited, guiltily.
She nodded. "Oh."
"What does it mean?"
She shook her head. "I'm not ready to talk about it. None of it."
He nodded. "Ok."
She glanced at him. "Rick, what's love anyways?"
"A feeling. It overwhelms you and doesn't let go."
She thought for a moment. "Is it only love and lust? No in between?"
"What do you mean?"
"Between two people. Love or lust that attracts them?"
"Well, yeah I guess so."
"Nothing in between?"
He shook his head. "What else is there?"
"I don't know but what if it was neither?"
"Fear?"
"What do you mean?"
"Fear of being alone or fear of the person. Fear can make us be with someone."
"Oh. I never thought of that."
"Where are you going with this?"
"No where."
He shook his head and walked back in the house. She followed. He turned and pulled her to him. "I have no idea what you have done to me but I want you in my arms. I want to feel your kiss. Your passion."
"Is it love or lust?" She whispered.
"Neither." He growled.
"Fear?" She insisted.
"A sinful pleasure." He replied, taking her lips captive. She melted against him and closed her eyes. She was feeling the security in his arms and the heat of his kiss.
He let her go. She swayed for a moment and he thought she would faint. "We can't do this."
"I know." She whispered, backing away.
He looked at her. "Don't think for a second if we weren't married I wouldn't pursue you."
She turned away, embarrassed. "It's been a long day. I think I better go to my room."
He wanted so bad to pull her back in his arms. "Please don't go. Let's talk."
She looked wearily at him. "About what?"
"Us. Everything. I don't want to be away from you." He confessed.
"Ok. Let's fix some drinks and settle on the couch."
He nodded in agreement. He watched as she skillfully mixed the drinks and handed one to him.
"Where did you learn that?"
"I have a book on bartending. Ever since I saw Cocktail with Tom Cruise, I wanted to be a bartender. So I learned and mastered it."
"Another one of your skills that Christian doesn't know about?"
She laughed. "Oh he knows that I use too much. You know how it goes."
"So he gets wasted off one of your drinks?" He laughed.
She nodded. "So what do you like to do, Rick?"
"Well besides singing, I don't know. Lately it seems as if I don't have any time. We bought this house and Kym wants to hire people to do things that I can do and save money. Not to mention feel like it's mine. You know king of the castle thing."
She smiled. "Yeah, I know. I thought after Christian made it I would do that but I got more pleasure doing it myself. Landscaping and decorating. Now that I had the money to do it."
"So where do you live?"
"A small town in Tennessee. Mayberry." She joked.
"Thinking of moving now?"
She nodded. "Without a doubt. I mean I never felt right anywhere."
"Except here?"
"I always dreamed of coming to Cali. I just couldn't afford it."
"I know. When all this happened years ago it took me by surprise too."
She took a sip and glanced over her cup at him. "So what do you want out of life?"
He shook his head. "Love and happiness. What else?"
"Do you have that?" She asked.
He thought for a moment. "Yeah, I do. What about you?"
"What I want out of life?" He nodded. "Easy. To find my purpose."
"What do you mean?"
"You know why you were put here? Why your life is how it is?"
He looked at her thoughtfully. "How long have you been a Christian?"
She shook her head. "I'm not sure if I'm a very good one."
Download this book for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-40 show above.)