After Life: Love
Patrick Lee
Published by Patrick Lee at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 by Patrick Lee
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Table of Contents
“Did you want us to wrap it up for you sir?” The salesman held the small box out, waiting to see if Jackson would take it. When his customer did nothing, he repeated the question.
“I’m sorry, what did you ask?” He knew that he heard something from the well-dressed older man who helped him pick out his purchase, but the situation was finally starting to sink in, and he drifted off as he was putting his wallet back into his pants. He had planned this for almost 6 months, and he knew that there was no going back at this point. No one else knew about the plan, so technically he didn’t have to go through if he wasn’t ready, but if he dragged it out any longer, he would just find another reason to talk himself out of it. God knew he had found enough of those over the years, and he wasn’t going to fall into that trap again. In that moment, when the rest of his future solidified for the first real time, he swam back to the others, the ones who hadn’t made the cut.
There was Daphne, his first love. She had been the one, at least he thought that she was back then, and she claimed that she felt the same way about him too. She had also been his first, in any number of ways, and it was probably no coincidence that Daphne was the only other one who had inspired a trip to the jeweler. She was convincing enough to make Jackson put a down payment on her dream ring, but God had a good sense of humor, and on that same night she called him at his dorm room to tell him that she thought that they should see other people. He later found out that she only reached that realization after she started seeing these other people, even allowing a few of them into the club that Jackson assumed he had sole rights to. His roommate told him that night after several rounds of Jaeger shots that some monkeys only let go of one branch when they have a firm grasp on another one. The analogy stuck with him for the rest of his life, and the crushing heartbreak that prompted the lesson in the first place would interfere with every other relationship he would ever try to have, until Amanda.
He pushed past Daphne, and through the 8 year hiatus that he took from committed relationships, not pausing to remember the sea of faces who filled the void during that time. They all applied for the position of his girlfriend, but none of them could be trusted, or so he believed. They had all come to his bed, hoping to land the man named “One of Charleston’s Most Eligible Bachelor’s” for three years running after his business was bought by Apple, allowing him to retire at the ripe old age of 26. He was handsome enough, he supposed, with thick brown hair that hung low over a forehead that his stylist had called “Neanderthal,” but nowhere nearly attractive enough to justify the amount of attention that was thrown his way. He spent a good deal of his hours working out, mostly as a way to pass time after he realized he didn’t have to work anymore, and the results were noticeable, but again, he wasn’t receiving calls to model for fitness magazines either. Some of the women who pursued him put up a good fight, complimenting his “stunning” brown eyes, or his “strong” chin, to the point where he wondered if they were just paying him compliments from the latest issue of Cosmo. There were more than he cared to count, all of them determined to convince him that they could love him, but The Curse of Daphne was too strong, and he eventually treated them all badly enough to make them leave. Some of them threw things, and some cussed him and his mother, but they all left, just as he hoped that they would. Now, sitting in front of the best jeweler in the state, he couldn’t help but smile as he thought about how he became a self-fulfilling prophecy during those years. By keeping everyone he met at arm’s length, he never met anyone who had time to love him, or to let him love her.
It was the loneliness that followed his mother’s death that finally pushed him to try relationships again. His father didn’t live long enough to see his only son graduate high school, and his mother never dated again. In those last days, as she died right in front of him, he wished that she had found someone else to share her life with, even if just for the companionship. Sitting alone in the funeral home as he made her arrangements, he pined for someone to share his pain so that it didn’t crush all the life out of him too. At her funeral, every long-distance friend told him that he needed to find someone, practically begging him to not end up alone like her. They offered their sympathy, most of them people he had never met before, and he listened, numb, considering that he was the last person left in his family. The more they talked, the further he drifted, until he didn’t even hear their condolences anymore. He nodded and smiled, but his tears dried up long before she finally lost her fight, and nobody could really blame him for defaulting to zombie mode in that type of situation.
Jackson went on his first real date in almost a decade the night after he buried his mother, with a girl named Tammy. It was a blind date, the type of thing that everyone swears they will never do. In the beginning, he kept himself at a distance, but she disarmed him like a pro, and he found himself thoroughly enjoying her company by the end of the night. He asked her out again, and to his surprise she shot him down. The reality check seemed to snap something in him, and for the first time in his life, he pursued someone. It changed everything for him, and it took him nearly a month to get a second date. The chase awakened a desire for companionship that he swallowed years before, and when they went out again, he pulled out all the stops. A limo pulled up to her front door, filled with roses all around him. He skipped the restaurant, and had a private meal catered for just the two of them. They sat on top of one of the houses on Rainbow Row, the old, colorful southern residences that lined the coast of downtown Charleston. When he went to kiss her at her front door, she laughed.
“Something funny?” Jackson made no effort to hide the annoyance in his voice.
“No, I’m sorry.” He could see that she was still fighting it back, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. “You’re just trying way too hard. You’re a nice guy Jackson, you really are. There’s no need to show off. This isn’t what girls are looking for. Well, some girls are. But not the ones you want to catch, I can promise you that.”
“Didn’t you have a good time?” Being alone for the rest of his life suddenly looked much more attractive than dealing with understanding women for another day.
“I had a great time. Everything was perfect, but if this is just the beginning, where can it go from here?” She paused to let the idea sink in for him. “Women are looking for something that lasts, and if it’s this intense now, it can’t keep that up long term.” She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
Confused, he looked up at her. “So can we try again sometime?” She smiled down at him as she opened the door.
“Call me. But think about what I said first.” She left him looking at her, and he stood still for at least a minute after the door shut behind her.
They dated for several months, but it never progressed the way that he expected it to. After a while, he understood what Tammy represented. She was the transition for him, sent to show him what he needed to know to continue searching for his perfect partner. Their interest in each other, more specifically his interest in her, was fueled entirely by not being able to have her, and she knew that from night one. As soon as he got her, they both knew that that infatuation would fade, so she kept him at arm’s length at all times. Their final date started with pizza at a bar, and led to a walk on the beach. As they crossed under the pier, he stopped and pulled her to him. They kissed, but he felt the difference instantly. When she pulled back, he knew what she was going to say before she did.
“I think we’re done here, Jackson.” She didn’t bother with specifics, but he understood that she didn’t mean walking. “Tonight was my perfect date, and I told myself that as soon as you understood what that would be, my work would be done.” A few weeks before, he would have felt embarrassed to be treated like a project, but he had already realized that he held that role. He also knew that he couldn’t argue with the fact that he needed her help. He smiled as she continued to try and soften a blow that didn’t really ever land. “You’re still amazing, and it has nothing to do with-“
“I know.” He cut her off to save them both the time and effort of an official breakup. “Thank you. You were exactly what I needed.” He kissed her cheek this time. “I got us a room for tonight, before…” He paused, searching for the right phrase, but she took his hand and squeezed, letting him know that none was necessary. “You should take it, I’ll get a cab.”
“No, it’s yours. I knew this was coming. That’s why I suggested we drive my car.” He smiled at her preparation. There was still so much he underestimated about women. “Have a good night Jackson, good luck.” She turned, still holding his hand, and walked away. He watched as her fingers slipped out of his, and she walked up the beach and out of sight without turning around. He stood under the pier until rain started to fall around him, looking around at couples running for cover as the storm slipped in. As he walked up to his room, he wondered when he would get the chance to find out how much Tammy had taught him.
The next morning, when he got caught in a torrential downpour without an umbrella, he got that chance, and he found the love of his life standing at the front door of a downtown shopping center looking out with him.
“No umbrella either, huh?” For a while after his bachelor award, women hit on him everywhere he went, and after the first few weeks of loving the attention, he quickly grew tired of having to trudge through small talk with women who were simply wallet-fishing. Amanda Massey was a different breed though, and something in her reflection told him immediately. It took him a second to register that she was talking to him, but when he looked at her mirrored eyes, they were staring straight into his. The way that they seemed to burn straight into him caught him by surprise, and he struggled to keep his cool.
“Um, yeah, I never really carry one. Had I known that the apocalypse was in the forecast, I might have. I guess weathermen never get anything right.” She laughed at the joke, one that he would always consider a bad one, and he turned and smiled at her. Blonde hair was pulled back above her head in a bun, giving her an appearance that was much older than her age, but it allowed the structure of her face the attention that it deserved. A small scar on her cheek only served to make the rest of her look more flawless. Her eyes were a deep shade of green, and before he could stop himself, he wondered if their children would be lucky enough to get their mother’s eyes. The thought rendered him even more speechless, and when she finally introduced herself, he looked down at her outstretched hand as if she had offered him a dead animal. She held it there, looking up into his face, until he finally came back to Earth and shook it, a little more vigorously than he originally intended. He caught himself again, and continued shaking at a more normal pace until she laughed at him and pulled her arm back out of his death grip. They ended up sitting down in the lobby to wait out the rain, and a conversation that changed both their lives ensued. They grew up in similar homes, they both experienced the grief that comes with burying their parents. The fact that she was well on the other side of that grief made her the perfect person to finally pull him through his own. A few times he fought back tears, and she understood perfectly, even offering him a tissue from her purse as she patted his back. She told him about starting Med School, getting a year under her belt before dropping out when her mother developed a terminal illness. She never went back, even though her mother begged her to every day that she lived, and Amanda was thankful that she hadn’t been forced to promise her return on her mother’s deathbed. “Maybe someday,” she said at the time, but someday turned into another life, and she finally decided that her mother would have wanted her to be happy more than anything else, and the people who were doctors on TV never really seemed to be that happy. After two hours that seemed predestined, they left to go get dinner together even though the storm continued its assault. When they got to his car, he opened her door and she reached across to open his as he rushed around the back of it, holding his coat over his head. She was still leaning when he got in, and he mistook her courtesy, kissing her as he squeaked across the leather in the bucket seat. Her eyes shot wide at first, but she closed them and returned the affection before pulling away and filling her face with a Cheshire grin.
“Sorry, I-“ He spoke like his teenage self, asking his first girl out, and the feeling in his stomach hadn’t shown itself in so long that he thought he was getting the flu. “I really never do things this way. I’m usually very-“
“Don’t be.” She interrupted him with another kiss. “Neither do I. In fact, it’s been more than a year since I kissed anybody. It’s cheesy as shit, but there’s something about you that I can’t really understand, but I feel like I was supposed to meet you tonight. I wasn’t even going shopping, I just cut through the mall because I didn’t feel like walking around the entire block.” She smiled at him and when he put his hand on the knob to shift out of park, she put hers on top of it. They sat like that the whole way back to his house, where they ordered Chinese food and watched a terrible movie that they talked through anyway. He gave her a robe to wear while her clothes dried, and he kept sneaking peeks at her long legs crossed underneath it. Their conversation from the lobby continued, digging further into each other than any first date either one of them experienced before. He told her about his business, even going so far as to share how much he received from the buyout, a fact no other date or girlfriend had ever known. When he got to his award, she slapped his knee hard enough to make him wince.
“I knew that you were familiar. My friend Allie found that magazine at my house and told me that I needed to find somebody like that to marry so I wouldn’t have to work anymore.” She noticed a look on his face and laughed. “I told her to bite me. I don’t mind working long hours and coming home to an empty apartment. I have a cat anyway.”
“Are you still happy?” He asked, struggling to hold his rice with chopsticks before dropping it and using his fork instead. She never answered him, but turned to look into his eyes instead, and they shared their second kiss of the night. This one led much farther, and when he slid his hand up the legs that he had been looking at all night, he was pleasantly surprised to find that she hadn’t bothered to put anything on under the robe. They spent that night together, and every one after it for three months.
As Jackson lay in bed, listening to the light snores that she denied every morning, he turned to face her. The hair across her face framed it perfectly, and the light from the window lit up her pillow as if God shone the light on her. He thought about the time they spent together, feeling waves of happiness rush through him with each memory. Everyone told him all his life that when he met the love of his life, he would know. He never met anyone he thought he loved instantly, but he had fought back those words every night he spent with her all the way back to the night they met. He said them under his breath sometimes, and when she asked what he said, he just shook his head. He wanted nothing more than to say them to her, and he realized that the fear that kept him from doing it was how he knew he should. The only thing worse than losing her because he loved her would be to lose her before he got the chance to tell her how he felt at all.
The next morning, Amanda woke up and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. She turned to find him smiling at her. “How long have you been awake?” He smiled at her and kissed her nose.
“I love you.” She blinked a few times to assure herself that she wasn’t dreaming, and for that few seconds his breath stopped. It rushed back into his lungs as the smile spread across her face.
“I love you too.”
They spent the rest of that day in and out of bed, and the next day he asked her to move in with him. She refused, saying it was too soon, but her answer changed a week later and she showed up wearing that same robe, holding a box of her most important possessions.
“Does your offer still stand?” As she asked, she let the robe fall open, and he pulled her inside and kissed her as his answer. To celebrate, they ordered Chinese again, and had a quickie while they waited for it to arrive. She answered the door totally naked, and the young Asian boy delivering the food nearly dropped it where he stood. When she gave him the money, he bowed no less than 20 times, stealing glances at her as often as possible. After she shut the door, they laughed at the story that the boy would tell when he got back to the restaurant, and probably for the rest of his life. They ate their food in their birthday suits, and he tried to pinch her nipples with his chopsticks. She slapped his hand away and laughed, and he told her that he had never been so happy in his life. Their fortune cookies that night both informed them that “new friends change your outlook on life.” He kept the small piece of paper in a drawer of his nightstand, and those same words were his obvious choice for the inscription on the ring that the jeweler now held for him.
-2-
“Sir?”
Jackson’s eyes refocused, and he blinked as he tried to get his bearings on where he was. He looked around and finally saw the small red box that contained his entire future in it, and he smiled at the salesman.
“Sorry, I – I don’t know where I went.”
“Don’t worry sir, it happens more than you know. Be glad that you didn’t faint. Is this your first proposal?”
“First and last my friend.” He took the box and slipped it into the pocket inside his jacket, patting it to make sure that it was secure.
“Good luck sir. Although I don’t suspect you will need any luck with a gorgeous piece of jewelry like that.” The old man winked at him, and the corner of his lip lifted in a half smile that would have creeped Jackson out on any other occasion. Here he took it as encouragement and shook the man’s hand before leaving the store. As he got into his car, it started to rain, and he smiled at the series of events falling into place perfectly. He drove through the rain, the sound of the wipers hypnotizing him as he ran through his carefully laid plans for the night. Everything needed to go on without a hiccup, and he made sure that he had thought of every detail.
He would pick Amanda up from her office, surprising her with a new dress. It was a Vera Wang that she saw in a window a few months earlier as they were walking down King Street, not far from the window where they met for the first time. She had no idea that he even noticed her eyeing it, and he made sure to seem totally uninterested in doing any shopping that day. She went back a few days later with one of her friends and tried it on, a shopping trip that Jackson scheduled with the friend as a fact-finding mission. The dress fit like it was made for her, but when she saw the price tag, she nearly fainted and her friend suggested that she wait for a good sale. He gave a quick look in his back seat to where the dress was wrapped up, smiling at how much easier retirement made getting things done in secret while everyone else worked. When he picked her up at work, he was going to give her the dress and have her put it on before they went to dinner. It was their 8-month anniversary of moving in together, so he hoped that she would never suspect his true motives, despite his obvious efforts to create a special occasion. When they reached their destination, they would sit down for a romantic dinner and when the dessert came, the box would be hidden inside the chocolate dessert that the chef had created especially for this night. Jackson smiled to himself and thought about calling Steve Jobs to thank him for making all of this possible.
He changed into his suit, not a new one, but his favorite. He had worn the suit to nearly every important event since selling his company, including his mother’s funeral, and he felt like she was with him whenever he wore it. It had been her favorite too, and she told him that he looked like the President whenever he wore it. He hadn’t realized that it was his favorite as well until he was picking something out to wear to say goodbye to her, and the thought that she would never see him in it again broke him down on his bedroom floor. He lay there for thirty minutes before deciding to never get rid of it, just in case she ever wanted to see him in it again. Now, years later, as he slipped the familiar fabric back over his shoulders, he felt as if she were helping him fit into it again. His eyes felt heavy and he blinked several times before looking at his reflection in the closet door. He smiled, and warmth spread through him as he flicked the light off and stepped out.
Jackson pulled up in front of the building, waiting for his future fiancé to escape her work for the night, and when Alicia Keys started to sing to him from his phone, his heart stopped for a split-second as he realized that the moment of truth was upon him.
“I’m here love. See you in a second.” She told him she would meet him in the lobby and hung up, suspecting nothing.
He stepped out of the car, opening up the umbrella Amanda bought for him as a joke after she moved in, thinking that it was the first time he had ever opened it. He corrected himself as he waited for her, remembering that he opened it when she gave it to him, and she cursed him for doing so inside. He laughed at her superstition, but it was a quality that he loved about her. It helped to counteract his need to rationalize everything, and he appreciated the balance that she brought to him. His heart sped up again as he saw her moving down the staircase towards the glass front doors of the building, and he felt time slow to a crawl as he watched every detail of her beauty as if he were seeing it for the first time.
Her feet stepped perfectly in rhythm with his heart, and they overlapped each other, causing her hips to sway back and forth like a subtle belly dance. Her legs rose up from her perfect ankles until they disappeared under the hem of her dress. The dress hugged those swaying hips seamlessly, and showed the hourglass that he watched every morning from his bed as she got ready for work. Her arms were tucked underneath her breasts, causing them to strain against the cut of the dress, creating a nest of cleavage that he could have gotten lost in for the rest of his life. Finally, he followed those lines up to her neck and her soft face, a face that he could easily imagine seeing across the table as they entered the sunset of life. A single piece of blonde hair bobbed as she walked down the steps, and she tried to tuck it behind her ear, but it escaped and continued its dance across her cheek. She hated that unruly curl, but it was his favorite part of her. It was the one thing that he always remembered when she left him in the morning, just a few golden strands sitting next to her gorgeous green eyes and resting beside her ear. Whenever he smelled her perfume on a stranger passing by, it was the curl that crept into his mind first, pulling the rest of her behind it.
It took her until she reached the bottom of the steps to notice him, and when she did, she blushed, her cheeks turning a shade that Mary Kay would kill to perfect. He smiled back, trying to not overplay the moment for fear of giving himself away. He opened the door for her, and she kissed him.
“Thank you kind gentleman. My name is Amanda, and to what do I owe this honor.” He smiled at her game, a familiar one that she often used to diffuse her embarrassment, and played along as he handed her the box with the dress in it.
“Happy 8 month anniversary, love.” He tried to sound as convincing as possible, knowing that he would have openly mocked any man out of high school celebrating the same menial event. She opened the box and shrieked, covering her mouth to capture the sound before it made it any further.
“How the hell did you-“
“A kind gentleman always has methods. Please my lady, try it on so I can take you to the dinner that you deserve.” She smiled at him and kissed him again, knowing full well that the dress would fit perfectly. She took the box and disappeared into a private bathroom, leaving Jackson to shake his umbrella on the large rug in the lobby. Several people had stopped to observe the couple, and now that the show was over, they continued on their separate ways. Those that were left stopped in their tracks again when Amanda came out wearing the dress. Time followed their lead, and it seemed that her trip across the lobby took days to complete. She became instantly more beautiful, a feat that Jackson would have deemed impossible only a few minutes earlier. As she walked towards him, she owned the world, and anyone that saw her had trouble denying that a more stunning woman ever lived. She reached him and tucked her hair behind her ear again, kissing him and handing over the box that now held her work attire.
“Thank you. You shouldn’t have.” Her courtesy was another of his favorite traits, and he saw the faces of their children in her eyes when she looked up at him.
“Too late. I already did. And now, I’m about to do more, so let’s get on with it.” She took his arm and they walked out into the rain for a night that would change her life forever.
-3-
The dinner was perfect, sitting at the same table where they shared their first “official” date while the chef prepared lamb chops, her favorite meal. The entire restaurant was empty, courtesy of a favor from the owner and a hefty check from Jackson. He couldn’t help but think that he was glad he was proposing, because he would never be able to top the bar that he was setting with this night. They ate and shared a bottle of wine, which helped to take the edge off. He never realized how stressful it would be trying to act normal with a large velvet box pressed against your chest. Luckily, the wine also dulled her perception, because had she noticed his repeated efforts to stem the tide of sweat that was escaping his forehead, she surely would have suspected his true motives. Finally, as they finished their main course, he excused himself to go and give the box to the maitre d’ so that it could make its way into their dessert. He returned to the table glad to be free from it, but realizing that the moment he had planned so delicately was now a few minutes from arriving. Continuing normal conversation was nearly impossible, so he asked her questions about work, knowing that she would carry the exchange for a while. When the dessert came, she stopped abruptly and picked up a strawberry from the plate to feed to him. He smiled and took the bite, then forced himself to swallow both the fruit and the lump that was forming in his throat. She pressed the side of her fork through the soft chocolate and took a bite.
“Oh God, this is so good.” Her eyes rolled up and she made a sound that reminded him of their sex, and he felt a familiar rush of blood below the table. Strangely, it helped to focus him on his task, and he breathed more calmly as he waited for her fork to hit its target. Her eyebrows pulled closer together, and she looked down at the plate, then back up at him. She used the knife to move some of the chocolate shavings off the top of the dish, and when her eyes found the red of the box, they opened wide. He slid his napkin onto the table, and knelt down beside her.
“Amanda, I have thought for a long time that no one existed in this world who could make me want to be a better man, but I was wrong.” Her silverware clanged to the floor as she threw her hands to her lips. “I saw your face that day, reflected in the glass, and I felt like I had known you for all my life. The first time you kissed me, I wanted to feel those lips on mine for every day of the rest of my life. The first time I woke up next to you, I wanted to wake up with you every morning. I knew then, and I’m sure now. You are the only person in the world who could ever make me this happy, and I have loved you for every second that we have known each other. I’ve always been told that I would know when I met ‘The One,’ but nobody ever tells you how you’re supposed to know.” He paused, trying to remember to breathe. “You see it, when you find the right person. You see the rest of your life together, and you can’t wait to get started living it.” He reached up and took her left hand, and she moved the right one up to catch a tear slipping from the corner of her eye. “I’ve been looking for you since I first kissed a girl in the second grade, and now that I’ve found you, there is not another woman in the world who means anything to me. I love you, I will always love you. Will you be my wife?”
At first, she was too emotional to answer, and then she screamed “Yes” so loud that it made him stumble back a little. She jumped up from her seat, grabbing him and pulling him up and to her, and he waited until the squeezing stopped to pick up the box and kneel again to slide the ring on her finger. It fit as perfectly as the dress had, and she held it up in the light, now letting the tears stream down from each eye. Her makeup was degenerating rapidly, but as he stood up and brushed the dust from his knees, he smiled at how beautiful this moment had made her in his eyes. He knew he would see this moment every time that he looked at her for the rest of his life. The waiter brought a bottle of champagne, and they toasted their new life together.
“How did you do all this? How did you know? How?” She was still shocked, and he laughed to himself. He took her hand, explaining the entire plan, starting from the moment he knew that he wanted to ask her. When he finished, the champagne bottle was upside down in the ice bucket, the last drops of it slipping between her lips. She was tipsy, but not drunk, and he helped her to her feet as they stood from the table. When they got to the front door, they noticed that it had stopped raining, and she stepped out into the warm March night. “Let’s take a walk.” Her hands swung dramatically while she talked, one of the first signs of a good buzz for her. She stopped swinging them and held the ring up to her eye level again, then turned back to him and kissed him, this time letting her tongue slide against his long enough for several people to pass them by. He could taste the champagne on her lips, and he returned her kiss, turning her and pressing her back against the glass front of the restaurant. His hands slid down her sides and around to cup her cheeks. She pulled against him tighter, feeling him stiffen, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Are you sure you don’t just want to get home?” He asked as she pulled back and leaned against the glass. She shook her head.
“Not yet, I want to walk down the street holding your hand. You’ve got the rest of our lives to get me into bed Mr. Hamilton. Let’s make another memory.” He couldn’t have denied her anything, so he took her and steadied her, then bent down to slip her heels off so that she could balance more easily. She playfully pressed her crotch against the top of his head, then laughed loud enough that people across the street stopped and turned towards them. He smiled as he held her knees and stood back up.
“I love that laugh. I can’t wait to hear it every day for the next 60 years.”
“Then you better be pretty damn funny sir.” She pressed her finger against his chest as she said it, and he pulled her in again for a kiss. After they broke apart, he walked to the car and threw her shoes and the umbrella in the back. When he returned to her, she took his hand and started down the street. The wine and champagne started to do their trick, and she began the rambling that was the second sign of her intoxication. “I want to get married at Christmastime. I love the tree in the church and I love the red and the gold and the green and the flowers and the poinsettias. Do you?” She didn’t wait for his answer, and he knew well enough by now that her question didn’t expect one. “I think that I will call my sister when we get home and tell her everything, but not until I have sex with you, my fiancée.” She drew this last word out to give it a few extra syllables, then slapped his chest with her hand. The alcohol was in full effect. He took the opportunity to turn down a back street that would get them to his car more quickly. “Then I can call her and tell her everything. She will be so happy for me, but she will probably be jealous too because she isn’t getting married but she’s already married and she has some babies so she shouldn’t be jealous cause-“
“Then we better get home before it’s too late,” he interrupted.
“Why, what time is it?”
“Time for you to give me your watch.” They both stopped as soon as they heard the voice, hoping that it was someone they knew playing a joke, but Jackson already knew it was not. He heard the footsteps following them a while back, but hadn’t really paid any attention to them. He turned and looked at a little man, his hood drawn up over his face. All they could really see was a pointed nose that looked like it belonged to a former boxer and a set of tiny lips, pulled together like a coin purse. His chin showed several scars, but years had softened them into a part of this man’s face. Moving down, Jackson saw that the man held something in his pocket, but he didn’t reveal it yet, instead pushing it out to give a vague suggestion of what it could be. He figured it was probably a homeless man looking for easy money to get a drink, so he took out his wallet to give him some cash so the bum could move along without further ruining what had so far been a perfect night. He opened it and thumbed through it, but the man reached out and snatched the whole thing out of his hand. Jackson started to reach back for it, but stopped, realizing that this situation could turn dangerous all too quickly. “Back off rich man, or the chick pays the penalty.”
“Whoa, it’s ok. Calm down, you can have anything you want.” He raised his hands to show that he had no intention of stopping this scene from playing out in the bum’s favor. Things could be replaced, people could not.
“Then how ‘bout that shiny new ring?” Jackson had hoped that the man hadn’t noticed Amanda looking at it as they walked, but his heart sank as he realized that he would have no such luck.
Amanda pulled away, holding her left hand by her side. Jackson pulled her close to him, moving himself in between the man and his future bride.
“Now come on friend, you’ve got well over $500 in that wallet.”
“And that ring looks to be worth 20 times that, friend. Hand it over.” He lunged forward, and Jackson moved to get Amanda away, but his elbow caught the man in the face, knocking him to the ground and sliding the hood from his face. He pulled his hand from his pocket to cover it and Jackson saw that the gun that he had threatened them with was all too real. He stood again and pulled his hood back up, but not before Jackson caught a glimpse of a gigantic cross tattoo under the man’s right eye. He tried to pretend that he hadn’t noticed, but his surprise was obvious. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“No, it’s ok. Look we can just go. You’ve got my wallet, and my credit cards, I won’t report them stolen, I pro-“
“sorry.” This last word was followed by a sound that neither Jackson nor Amanda had ever heard before, at least not in real life. As the man pulled the trigger, Amanda thought to herself that gunshots in reality sounded nothing like they did in the movies. A second shot fired, and the bum took off as a police siren in the distance signaled its approach.
At first, Amanda thought that he missed, but then she felt her fiancé leaning against her. He slumped against her shoulder, and she struggled to hold his full weight up. Finally he collapsed, and she fell to the ground with him. His white shirt began to blossom pink in two places, and the pink turned to red as she tried to get him to look into her eyes.
“No! No! This does not happen! Jackson. Jackson dammit, you look at me. Look at me! The police are coming! They are going to be here any minute, and you need to be strong because you are going to make it.” Even as she said the words, she felt that she was lying, but she couldn’t show him that. “Please, please hold on. We’re going to get married. We’re going to get married! We’re going to get married!” He tried to squeeze her hand, but he couldn’t summon the strength. In the end, all he could manage was “I love” before she watched the light fade out of his eyes, and when the police arrived, they found a gorgeous woman in a gorgeous dress screaming “We’re going to get married” over and over as she held on to her fiancé. By the time the ambulance pulled in, its siren long silent, Jackson’s shirt and her hands were the same deep red as her dress, and she only let him go when one of the paramedics pulled them apart, and a young policeman held her tightly against him. The rain started to fall again, and she was thankful as it washed her lover’s blood from her hands and hid her tears.
Jackson’s eyes opened to darkness. He lay still for a minute, trying to remember what happened to bring him here. He remembered his dinner with Amanda, and walking outside with her. He remembered a strange man walking up to them, and he thought he remembered a gun. He remembered her holding him, and then it went dark right up until now. And damn if it wasn’t as dark as he had ever seen it. He thought maybe his eyes were playing tricks, so he waited for them to regain focus, but after what could have been minutes but seemed like hours, it was still as dark as a new moon. He groped around, still looking for any kind of purchase that he could use to pull himself up, and he realized as that thought came through that he was lying down. He hadn’t processed that as he woke up, but now that he was reaching he couldn’t help but feel as if he were lying flat on his back. A terrifying story that he had read came flooding back, and he wondered if he had simply passed out after being shot, and was now in the morgue, sitting in one of those coolers waiting to be embalmed, only now he wasn’t as dead as they thought he was. In the story, the man hadn’t woken up until he was about to be dissected, and he was watching the whole events unfold as he lay helpless on a slab. The character had been bitten by a snake, and the venom had paralyzed him and made him seem as if he were dead. Jackson wondered if maybe a snake had been loose downtown, and hoped that it was possible, even as his mind told him that he was being foolish. If he really was lying in a morgue, why couldn’t he kick the door, or hit something around him. He couldn’t even really feel the floor underneath him, but he felt positive that he was on his back.
“Hello?” The sound was deafening as it ripped through the silence that had become normal to his ears. “Can anyone hear me?” Jackson felt like a fool shouting through darkness, and for a second he imagined something terrible hiding in front of him, watching and waiting for him to stumble to his real doom. “I think I’m stuck somewhere, and I can’t seem to find anything to get out with.” He continued talking to try and keep his mind from creating any more monsters lurking just out of arm’s reach. “I think I’ve been shot. Something is wrong with me, and I don’t know where I am.” His arms flailed around him, and the thought of getting up crossed his mind, but he was afraid of what might meet him if he did. His mind continued to create its own theories, despite his best efforts to stop it, and he started to believe that this could be what waking up in hell was like. His heart sank as he weighed the possibility of eternal damnation, quickly evaluating how well he thought he had lived his life. “Help!” He screamed again, louder than he had ever screamed. His arms started moving in all directions, now not even caring if they found some God forsaken beast waiting to rip his limbs off over and over again for eternity. For now, not knowing was more torture than anything. When they finally struck something, he pulled them back to his chest and felt them to see if the sudden shock had caused any damage.
“Put your hand back up.” The voice was calm, and sounded slightly irritated, but it was undoubtedly human. He reached his left hand slowly back into the darkness, and this time when something touched it, he recognized it as another hand. The two extremities clasped around each other, and with a quick tug, Jackson was pulled up into a blinding light. His eyes struggled to refocus, and the shape in front of him stood still, waiting for him to come around.
“Are you…are you God?” Jackson meant the question with 100% sincerity, but as it left his lips the man who pulled him up from the darkness let out a hearty laugh. Jackson immediately felt embarrassed, and he returned to square one in trying to imagine what was happening to him.
The man clapped his hand on Jackson shoulder, causing him to jump slightly, but the hand stayed where it was. “After all I’ve seen, nothing makes me laugh harder than a white man asking a black man if he’s God.”
“I’m sorry, I just thought since you pulled me up, and then the light is just so bright.” As he said it, Jackson’s eyes finally took in the light they had been deprived of for so long, and the outline of a small man came into focus. “You’re just a man though aren’t you?”
“Yes sir, all my life and then some.” The man had calmed his laughing now, and was extending his right hand. The light adjusted again, and Jackson reached out to grasp it, but missed. The man chuckled, then used his left hand to guide the two men’s hands into a good firm handshake. As he did, Jackson felt a strange prickling in the spot where the man held his arm. “What’s your name, newbie?”
“Jackson Hamilton. Junior.” He never knew why he added the junior whenever he told someone his name, but it had become a habit after his father died, perhaps as a way of honoring the man. Here, it made him feel like he was in Elementary school again, talking to a teacher who had found him somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.
“Well, Jackson Hamilton Junior, you can call me Marcus Woods. It’s not my real name, but I like it a hell of a lot better than the one I was given. How’re you coming?” Marcus tilted his head and looked at Jackson, who could now make out all of the man who had pulled him up. He looked to be about 25, so it struck him as odd that he had referred to himself as an old black man. He looked around, seeing the palmetto trees that told him he was still in Charleston, but other questions started piling up in his mind, and he added these observations to them. He opened his mouth to begin asking them, but nothing came out. After a minute, he started with answering the question that was asked of him.
“Pretty good, I guess. Thanks for helping me. How did you know I was here?”
“Heard you screaming like hell was coming for you. I just was on my way around, actually going to go to a bar down the way. You up for it? They’ve got a girl who sings there on the weekends and she is one of the finest voices I’ve ever heard. Believe me Jack, I’ve heard ‘em all. This girl is going to be somebody. You in?” Jackson thought about the offer, then suddenly realized he should probably call Amanda so she wouldn’t be worried.
“Thanks, but I need to call my girlfr-, I mean my fiancé. She is probably looking for me.”
“I doubt that friend. There’s plenty of time to call, let’s just go catch this first song here. Come on, how you gonna say no to the man who saved you. I mean, you did think I was God coming down to pull you up, right?” Marcus laughed again, a loud infectious laugh that Jackson found himself joining. Their eyes met, and Jackson felt a calm wash over him that made him forget about calling Amanda. All of a sudden, nothing seemed more important than whatever Marcus wanted him to do.
“Eh, what the hell. She’s probably working anyway, what time is it?”
“Jack, my friend, I haven’t ever worn a watch, but if I were to take a guess, I’d say it’s about 3:07.” As he said it, Marcus looked up at the sun, and Jackson followed his gaze, trying to decide what he was using for that estimate.
“Ok, I haven’t eaten anything in forever anyway. A burger and a beer would do me some good.”
“I bet it would, Junior. I bet so.” Marcus laughed again as he turned and started walking. Jackson followed, and they started talking along the way about what they did for a living. Marcus did most of the talking, and Jackson asked an occasional question as they continued. The more the young man talked, the more Jackson’s mind drifted away from all of his earlier questions. It was as if he was being hypnotized, but no trickery seemed to be going on. In fact, he was having more fun that he could remember having in years. He felt like a college man again, full of energy and ideals that gave him the strength to write a thirty page paper, go to a keg party, sleep for two hours, and wake up just in time to cram for a history final, only to do it again the next night. Nostalgia washed over him, but he hadn’t gone to school anywhere near here, and he had only lived in the city for about 6 years, so it struck him as odd that his senses were reminiscing, but he enjoyed the feeling and the company of his new friend, so he didn’t press the issue.
When they reached the bar, Marcus led him down a staircase that ended in a flat concrete area with plastic tables all around. Jackson went to sit down, but his escort moved on to a table that was a little further away from the others. Jackson followed, and settled into the cheap patio furniture. He raised his hand as a waitress moved past, but she was on a mission and paid him no attention. “Nice spot Marcus, I don’t think I even knew this place was here.”
“It’s amazing how much of the world is right in front of us and we just stumble through without noticing it.” Marcus answered without looking at Jackson, and his eyes moved through the crowd of people that were beginning to gather for the show. The rest of the tables were filling up quickly, and a couple was moving towards the table that Marcus had chosen. Just as they got close enough for Jackson to pick up their conversation, Marcus stood up and walked towards them. He passed between them and the couple stopped, staring right where Jackson stood. He froze, but they looked through him, then turned and walked over to the railing and leaned against it.
“What the hell, they didn’t even act like they saw me?” He asked aloud to himself.
“Maybe they didn’t.” Marcus’s answer startled him, and when he turned around to find him sitting back at the table, his eyebrows pulled down as he tried to remember when he had come back to sit down.
“But they were right there. And how did you get back over here without me seeing you?”
“I took the other walkway. Shh, here she comes.” Jackson’s questions were beginning to mount again, but Marcus nodded towards a small stage at the other end of the pavement, and sure enough, a band was getting ready. The crowd started to clap and scream, and the people standing at the bar hurried to get drinks and get back to a good spot before the music started. A waitress passed by again, and Jackson tried to flag her down, but again she moved past without paying him a drop of attention.
“What the hell is with these waitresses? How am I supposed to get a beer?” Marcus stared intently at the stage, pretending not to hear his companion. “Marcus, hey man why is-“ Before the sentence reached its punctuation, a voice came over the speakers that were scattered around them, and it froze Jackson solid. He turned slowly, like his neck was made of steel cables, to see the source of the beautiful sound, and found a girl, not much more than 17, standing on the stage and singing as if she had owned every stage she had set foot on all her life. His eyes fixed on her, and he felt as if her singing would reduce him to tears. He understood immediately why Marcus had wanted him to hear her, and he wanted to bring everyone he had ever known here so that they could experience her magic themselves. His questions melted away for the second time in an hour and all of his attention, as well as everyone else’s, belonged to the girl with the golden voice.
Marcus had been right, she was going to be somebody. No one spoke while she sang, and even the waitresses stood still until the song was over, or at least until a guitar solo interrupted the singing for a few minutes. Jackson felt as if he was watching an alien impersonating a human, sharing a gift that no one else could ever even imitate. Surely this girl had to be someone special, someone more than just a bar band singer on a perfect afternoon. “Who is she?” he asked himself. After a second, Marcus answered the first of Jackson’s many questions.
“She’s an angel isn’t she? I told you she was special.” About that time, the sax player let loose on an ear-blasting solo, setting Jackson free from the girl’s trance. He turned to face Marcus and found the man smiling and looking right into his eyes. “Junior, that girl up there is my granddaughter.”
-2-
“What did you just say?”
“I said she was my granddaughter.” Marcus answered him as simply as if he were telling him that it was a cloudy day.
“But you can’t be more than 25. That’s impossible. You’d have to be at least sixty years old. It’s just not possible.”
“I knew I liked you Junior. What do you say you and me take a walk on the beach over here. I think you probably have more than a few questions you’d like to ask me, don’t you?”
“But what about the show?” He caught himself as he said it, shocked at how much he wanted to hear the girl continue singing given that 20 minutes ago, he had no idea who she was.
“You can hear it from the beach.” And then, under his breath “hell you could hear it from just about anywhere if you tried hard enough.” Jackson missed Marcus’s aside, his head still turned towards the stage. He turned back to the young (old) man, got up from his seat, and nodded.
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