Femi Oduwaiye
DEDICATION
To God my Creator, Savior and Source. Thank YOU for being there all through the difficult and turbulent days because I know YOU will still be around for the difficult and turbulent days ahead
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
To all that have been used, is still being used and will still be used by God to shape my life and destiny; I say thank you!!!
CONTENT
Title page…................................................................
Dedication….…………………….............................
Acknowledgement………………………………….
Prologue…………………….....................................
What is it? ......………………...........………………
When did it start? …………………………………..
Does it have any effect? ……………………………
Why do souls do it? ………………………………..
How to stop it? ………………………….………….
Epilogue ……………………………….….………...
Personal Information………………………………..
PROLOGUE
Do you masturbate or do you know anyone that does? Then this book is for you. Masturbation is a subject not talked about, not popular and/or regarded especially in our society. It is a tool used, still being used and will still be used by a spirit being to abort destinies. That your destiny be not terminated, I write this book for YOU. Thus, you need to read it.
Chapter One
What Is It?
Masturbation is the act of obtaining sexual pleasure by stimulating one’s body, especially the private parts. It is generally believed that to masturbate only sexual organs must be rubbed but this is not totally true. Individually, we all have sensitive or erotically arousing parts; breasts, nipples, armpits, palms, navel etc. (These are referred to as erogenous zones). For instance, if a person’s sensitive part is the nipples, this can be rubbed or caressed continuously to give orgasm without touching the sexual organs.
Infants engage in a lot of exploration due to the basic fact that they are still trying to learn about the state of their environment. These explorations include the body, which obviously and normally should be the first for it is the closest. Naturally, the infant will discover that touching the genital region does produce pleasure thus, masturbation occurs.
A woman once informed me that young girls between three and eight years old, roll thick papers into cylindrical shapes and insert it into their vulva. This they do innocently while playing and as far as they are concerned, they are just having fun playing husband and wife or daddy and mummy. In their innocence, they discover and derive pleasure from it, which may make some of them to continue in it for some years and the only description for it is, masturbation.
Infant masturbation is easier to notice with boys, who fondle their penis and girls stimulate the region around the clitoris by ‘rocking’ (a gentle backward and forward movement). To say this act is deliberate would not be fair and it is not likely that the child interprets the act as erotic. If so, it would be an exception. Infant curiosity about his/her body causes this. The act increases and this does shift to its mates (males or females) however, infant masturbation will mostly produce urination since they are physically immature, sexually.
As the infant grows up, its sexual drive develops slowly so that by puberty, it will easily be stimulated due to the increased quantity of sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen) in the body. Here, the act of sex, having sex or masturbation may or may not be deliberate but the interpretation and purpose, I will say, may be well known and clear. With most teenagers, especially early teenagers, the after effects of sex or masturbation may not have been fully grasps and or well understood but with some (mostly mid or old teenagers) they just do not care. The thought and possibilities of erotic satisfaction completely clouds their naïve being. So, how does it (masturbation) really happens?
Sexual Arousers
These are basically the materials (stimulants) around, on or in a person that stirs him/her up sexually. Infancy ignorantly aids the development of diverse pictures in the sub-conscious, which is better described as fantasies. These grow or are modified, reprinted, extended, expanded and added to unconsciously over the years that, by puberty, it will be more than ready to play itself (fantasies) out. The sight, smell, taste, sound and touch are mostly involved and, this also increases or aids sexual rousing.
In men, sight is the powerful stimulus, which is why most adverts and publications have female bodies as symbols. An example is the suggestive display of a female’s breast, naked body and buttocks through clothing (especially when wet or transparent). The sight or feel of a woman’s breast, buttocks, hips and vulva will arouse many men but for women it is generally the buttocks, genitals of a man, body structure and the sight of an attractive or handsome male.
Other stimulants that arouses sexually are the smell of a clean body or perfume. A sound or music that passes erotic messages to the individual. Body and or lip contact, touch or caressing of an erotically stimulating part(s) of the body and the viewing, listening to and reading of sex plays on the television screen, radio, internet and the print media (newspaper, journals, magazines etc). There are more but all these, physically, emotionally and even psychologically will lead to sexual drive.
Sexual Drive
Sexual drive is to have a desire (sexual desire) or an urge for sex (or an orgasm). Most youths interpret this to mean the capacity to have sexual relationship caused by societal or peer group pressure/influence. This information is wrong and many individual have had their sexual foundation set on the part of sadness, sorrow, remorse, guilt and disaster.
Sexual desire is a feeling that one wants to touch and explore his/her body or another person’s, sexually. This leads to a feeling of excitement or sexual excitement that causes certain physical changes, which eventually end up in sexual satisfaction but not necessarily fulfillment.
In the masculine gender, penile erection is the definite sign of sexual excitement. Further fondling, rubbing or stimulation (whichever method used) of the penis or sensitive parts will cause the secretion of a scanty, profuse, clear fluid from the outside urethra end of the penis. This will cause the involuntary grasping of the penis lightly, thus stroking the entire organ. As this continues, the time to ejaculate draws near. This is evident by a warm feeling along the shaft of the penis caused by the movement of the semen from the prostrate gland, through the urethra, to the top of the penis. The muscles at the base of the penis will then spasmodically contract, simultaneously with the jerking and convulsive thrusting of the thigh and lower abdominal muscles. This leads finally to the explosive expulsion of the semen (orgasm), followed by a feeling of warmness, relaxation and exhaustion.
Some do this (genital stimulation) by lubricating the penis with a cream and then ‘rocking’ (gentle forward and backward movements) it between the thighs, while a few others simply continue to caress their sensitive part(s) without touching the penis till they reach orgasm. Another method will be to rub the penis against a smooth, soft surface like the thigh, to rouse, stimulate and reach orgasm.
In women, reaching sexual excitement is far slower but last longer than men. This brought about the widely accepted (true or false) notion that women enjoy sex more than men. To understand this better, let’s set our imagination on these: a burning dry leaf and a smoldering coal. A man’s sexuality is like a burning dry leaf that does not take long to start and finish burning while a woman’s own is like a smoldering coal that takes long to start and finish smoldering.
Women generally love to play with their breasts and nipples to get them sexually excited and this causes the erection of the nipples with the swelling, darkening and softening of the spots around it. The clitoris at this time increases in size causing the softening, thickening, lubricating and moistening of the vulva, vagina and the parts around it. Thus, the vagina becomes slippery.
At this stage a woman will so much want to feel the erect penis of a man in her vagina and if she cannot, spontaneously uses her fingers or any other material (pencil, pen, candle or any similarly shaped cylindrical objects) so prepared for the purpose or found in the vicinity. A vibrator (an electrical device that produces a continuous movement for sexual pleasure) is most preferred by many that masturbate, especially professional ‘sex film’ actors/actresses, harlots, prostitutes and nymphomaniacs. Tongue caressing or licking of the sex organ is also common and quite popular with lesbians. This is called ‘cunnilingus’. Others may just simply fondle their breasts (or any other sensitive parts) or listen to erotically stimulating sound or music to masturbate.
Orgasm in women is similar to the jerking and thrusting movement in men where there will equally be a feeling of intense pleasure all over the whole body. It’s a general tingling, floating feeling, accompanied by warmth, well being, exhilaration and a release of mental tension. However, not all women have a jerking, uncontrollable muscle movement like men but can have multiple orgasms or one orgasm after another.
Masturbation (by experts and professionals) is believed to be a normal part of sexual development with no medically proven physical harm or side effects, irrespective of its frequency or otherwise. That is, it does not make a person weak; does not damage the eyes, does not cause insanity or enlargement of the inner parts of the vulva and does not cause venereal disease.
Some people believe it is an evidence of sexual immaturity and can lead to frigidity (i.e. a lack of ability to enjoy sex), frustration and sexual excess. However, still some believe it helps a girl to learn and explore her body, to be aware of her responses to stimulation thus recognizing her stages of sexual arousal, sexual drive, desire, excitement, pleasure, response, satisfaction and fulfillment or orgasm. So, no shame or guilt should be felt as, it (masturbation) is a natural and normal avenue for expressing sexual fulfillment at any time or age. The belief is that an orgasm is an orgasm (clitoral or vaginal) no matter how it is obtained.
Beloved, if our heart condemns us not, then have we confidence towards God’. I John 3:21 (KJV).
‘Beloved if our conscience is clear we can come to God with confidence’. I John 3:21 (NLT; New Living Translation).
Chapter Two
When Did It Start?
Masturbation did not start with us; it did not start a couple of years back or some decades or centuries back. It had been in existence before Christ was born; it was before Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and the Minor Prophets. It came into being even before all the Kings that ever ruled in Israel, Judah or Samaria. It was before Solomon, David, Saul and the Judges. I want to believe I wouldn’t surprise you if I affirm that it had been before Moses and probably before (permit me to say) Joseph, his eleven brothers, Jacob, Isaac and Abraham.
I am not trying to scare you, in fact far from it. The sole aim is to make you know that it had never being a modern day thing or a vogue; whichever way you view it. Nobody should deceive you to believe it is an invention of the 20th or 21st century. I want to assert that it is probably as old as the devil himself. So, when did it really start?
History has it that condom has been in use since the Roman time which was about 700 to 800 years before Christ was born. In fact it was widespread. Lesbianism (i.e. the act of a woman being sexually attracted to another woman or other women) had been prominent in the time of the Ancient Greek civilization. A time still celebrated as one of the best periods of human creativity. This was about 2000 years before Christ and in comparison with our time; it was accepted and permitted as a way of releasing sexual tension through orgasm. Arab camel drivers in Biblical times (about 3000 years before Christ; Joseph’s time) used IUD (intrauterine contraceptive) as a way of preventing their female camels from getting pregnant. If human ingenuity could have gone this far, nothing stops that ingenuity from masturbation for, as we have seen in chapter one, most small children masturbates.
To say that I know specifically when masturbation started is to say the Devil can tell the truth. What I do know is what the good book says:
“Speak unto the children of Israel and say unto them, when any man hath a running issue out of his flesh, because of his issue he is unclean”. Leviticus 15:2.
We need to be careful with this, for the term ‘running issue’ does not necessarily mean ejaculation. A better term would be ‘genital discharge’ (NLT). This could be sperm or any other fluid that flows or gushes out of the sexual organ.
Basically, there were diverse forms of STDs (sexually transmitted disease) at the time, which was not all that surprising, since public prostitution had been promoted with such immorality. A typical example would be Judah and Tamar (Genesis 38:12-21). Thus, disgusting, extremely unpleasant, and highly unpalatable diseases had been common causing various forms of nauseating genital (fluid) discharge.
STD has been as old as 3000 years before Christ so, I ask you; do you reasonably think that masturbation was not part of the immorality at the time? ‘And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him…(will) be unclean until even’. Leviticus 15:16. New Living Translation says, ‘Whenever a man has an emission of semen…he will remain ceremonially defiled until evening’. How the emission occurs (rightly and wrongly) was not discussed and I don’t think it was meant for discussion for, if it were important, it would have been duly dealt with.
What am I saying? Masturbation brings about orgasm (check chapter 1) and part of the sign, especially in the masculine gender, is the explosive and expulsive release of semen or sperm. Whenever a man has an emission of semen includes even when he masturbates. You might say hitting the nail on the head. In its own form or way, the Bible specifically speaks of masturbation as an act that was not new at the time of Moses, which was roughly about 3500 years before Christ. If it was not new then, it means masturbation had been before this time; it means masturbation was a known act; it means masturbation is not an enigma.
If God condemned it in this scriptural verse, it automatically tells us some communities had indulged in it for so many years and it probably wasn’t as hidden and enigmatic as it is now. The first known community in the scriptures that had a disease outbreak or is it outburst of sin was Sodom and Gomorrah.
‘And the men rose up from thence, and looked toward Sodom…and the LORD said, “Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great and because their sin is very grievous; I (the LORD) will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know”. Genesis 18:16-21.
These scriptural verses baffle me. God, the omnipresent (present everywhere and every time) and omniscience (all knowing; knowing the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning) wants to go and see the grievous sins of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah as if He actually needs to do so. I think that portion is trying to make us understand the fact that grievous, despicable, abominable, disgusting and probably nauseating reports had come to God and He was saying, “Is it possible that My creation could have stooped so low as to commit these acts?” (i.e. rape, murder, adultery, homosexuality, prostitution, violent wickedness, masturbation etc).
For better understanding, let’s consider some scriptural verses:
‘But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: And they called unto Lot (Abraham’s nephew) and said unto him, “Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them”. Genesis 19:4-5.
‘The men of the city, even the men of Sodom…’ It was not men and women. Not men and children but all men, both old and young (possibly the elites) came to Lot’s house. Why? Because they wanted to ‘know’ the men that came into or better put, that Lot invited into his house that night.
Now, it will be a great mistake to take the word, ‘know’, as to have information about the men in Lot’s house. That is, their name, country, tribe, nation, and culture, mission or reason for visiting Sodom etc. To have information about them for security purposes, but this is not really the case.
In the scriptures, to ‘know’ an individual, person, man, woman, boy or girl at times, actually means to have sex with the individual, person, man, woman, boy or girl. Similar cases or examples abound all through the scriptures:
‘And Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived, and bare Cain’. Genesis 4:1.
‘And Adam knew his wife (Eve) again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth…’ Genesis 4:25.
“…I have two daughters which have not known man…” Genesis 19:8.
‘And the damsel…a virgin, neither had any man known her…’ Genesis 24:16.
“…And kill every woman that has known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves”. Numbers 31:17-18.
‘Then said Mary unto the angel, “How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?” Luke 1:34.
‘And knew her not till she had brought forth her first-born son: and he called his name JESUS’. Matthew 1:25.
So, when the men of Sodom said, “…bring them out unto us, that we may know them”. Genesis 19:5. They actually meant, ‘deliver them into our hands so that we can have sex (homosexual or anal intercourse) with them’. New Living Translation says:
“…Bring them out so we can have sex with them”. Genesis 19:5 (NLT).
It was revealed that two angels went into the city and were accommodated by Lot. These people were so bad and wicked that their friendliness, disposition and hospitality to visitors were at all-time low. Lot was pressed/threatened that he had to be ready and willing to release his two daughters; I mean his two VIRGIN daughters (to be ditched) to protect his two visitors (Genesis 19:8). It seems Lot’s offer was so common, usual, normal, natural and uninteresting that they didn’t even consider it.
‘…And they said; “Stand back”. And they said again. “This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them”. And they pressed sore upon the man even Lot. And came near to break the door’. Genesis 19:9.
If being offered virgins to play around with was so normal as not to be stimulating and or rewarding enough to appease their wicked appetite, sexual sin must have been a big problem in that city. In fact, the name of the city (Sodom) is now use to describe a sexual act, sodomy in which a man puts his penis in somebody else’s anus: especially another man’s own. By saying, “...now will we deal worse with thee, than with them”. Genesis 19:9. They actually meant that they would rather have sex with Lot if they could not have the angels (Lot’s visitors). Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt because of the love she had for the city and his two virgin daughters did not take long to get pregnant after seducing their father. (Check Genesis 19:1-38).
I believe masturbation in that community must have been rampant for (most times) to perform sodomy, a man needs to be stimulated through genital rocking or stroking to have an erect penis (act of masturbation) and this (erect penis) aids sodomy. Seems similar to the 21st century where our society tries to make us believe that virginity is a curse.
The bottom line is this, sodomy or homosexuality scripturally refers to both gays and lesbians. These two involves body stimulation thus, masturbation is a precursor to homosexuality or as a friend of mine rightly described it, “homosexuality is masturbation full blown”
Another portion worthy of consideration is Genesis chapter 6, verses 1-8, where the Bible states that, ‘the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair or beautiful so they (sons of God) took them as wives’ (verse 2). God was so displeased with this obvious unholy union that He groaned, “My Spirit shall not always strive (or put up) with man for that he also is flesh” (verse 3).
Further, God saw mankind has a propagator of great wickedness on earth and an instigator of evil imagination continuously thus; He was sorry He actually created mankind and decided to destroy His work. This brought about the great flood. The Bible states: ‘…it grieved (hurt, sadden, made unhappy) God at his heart’. (verse 6b).
Who were these sons of God? Some Bible scholars say they were fallen angels; others say they were fallen angels in human bodies and there are still others that say they were a lineage of God’s people. Other interpretations exist. However, the issue here is not who they were or represented but what transpired. An unholy, unrighteous, ungodly, and not tasteful sexual union disgusting to the heavenly Father and Creator.
It may be speculative but where the Bible talks of sex, sexual urge, sexual drive, sexual desire, sexual fantasy, sexual arousal, sexual pleasure, sexual excitement, sexual intercourse and coitus as bad, wicked, sinful, abominable, grievous, despicable, disgusting, offensive and nauseating, anything and practically or almost everything sensual must have happened including masturbation.
So, masturbation is not new. The only thing new about it is the method or methods adopted in accomplishing it. If you ask me, I believe masturbation, as one of the many evil machinations in the world is as old as its master that deceived Adam and Eve; the entity referred to in the book of Revelation as the great dragon, that old serpent, called the Devil and Satan. (Revelation 12:9.).
Chapter Three
Does It Have Any Effects?
Masturbation, like every other endeavor in human life has its effects whether positive or negative. Now, these (positive or negative effects) pose a small problem for, from personal experience I have seen that positives and negatives are based on perspectives. Somebody once said: “Your bad is my good and you good is my bad”. In other words, what I term negative maybe your positive and vice-versa. It goes to say that what we see or term as positive and or negative are based on individual’s level of knowledge, understanding, experience and belief. What do you believe in? Where does your faith lie?
Knowledge
How much do you know about life? How educated or informed are you about the world? How educated or informed are you about your continent, country, state, district, city, town, street, region, house or home? How much do you really know about your body, soul, spirit, blood, organs, cells etc? Your body systems; do you know how they function?
My aim is not to intimidate or impress you. It is also not for you to score yourself high or low but to say that, what you know dictates how you think and what you do. Your knowledge or lack of it either sets you free or puts you bondage. A popular adage says: ‘knowledge is power’. I agree but I ask 'power to do what?' Is it power to pursue and accomplish good, to create, to solve problems, bring joy, happiness etc or power to destroy, make sad, kill, steal, alienate, isolate, stigmatize and the likes?
We get so much and all manner of information(s) these days from the media (television, radio, newspaper etc), internet, friends, colleagues, relatives, society, books etc and so many false knowledge, or untruths are passed. The good book says: ‘…And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make (set) you free”. John 8:32. A prophet once said: “It is the truth you know that sets you free”. “What about the truth you are yet to know or don’t know?” I ask just like Pilate asked Jesus, “What is truth?” John 18:38. ‘Buy the truth and sell it not…’ Proverbs 23:23a. I ask again, ‘what is truth?’
‘Jesus saith unto him, “I am the way, the truth and the life: no man (human being) comes unto the Father, but by me’. John 14:6.
That’s the TRUTH. How much do you really know about the intrigues, schemes, diversities, deceits, powers, cunnings, half-truths, misgivings etc of life? What do you know about the spiritual?
Understanding
It is easy to believe that knowledge and understanding means the same thing. Even some dictionaries can be confusing but knowledge basically is what you know or the information you have. Understanding however is to know or realize how some things happen, how it works or why it is important. Thus, it is possible to have knowledge and yet, no understanding; and if you have the wrong understanding, your knowledge is wrong (vice versa).
We know what goes up will come down, how many know or understand what causes it? We take drugs (medicine) to discourage, slow down or stop sickness and diseases; how many understand the fact that certain drugs only propel your body defenses to act (i.e. go into action). When your knowledge about a situation or circumstances is wrong your understanding is misplaced, and when your understanding is misplaced your knowledge is wrong. Your thinking will be wrong and your action(s) or lack of it can be disastrous.
As a young boy, I believed babies were made when my parents stood face-to-face or danced facing each other. I got confused, troubled and worried every time my mother stood or danced facing any other man. I had a wrong information or knowledge thus, I began to worry and get troubled about nothing. I knew my parents produced babies but the concept of its production; I did neither know nor understand. This even made me believe that my mother’s still births, caesarian sections, and as well as being advised by doctors to stop child bearing after the fourth attempt, was because she stood and danced face-to-face with another man that was not my father. Yeah!! It was her unfaithfulness. In fact, it took me some time to know, accept and understand coitus as the natural way of conception. Understanding is vital.
These may seem elementary but does not remove the fact that most of us are ill-informed about our body especially the erogenous zones. We at times feel comfortable when we get to know that one or two people believe in what we believe in. This brought about the popular adage: ‘two heads (brains) are better than one’. That is two good, reasonable heads. How much of this world do you understand?
‘Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he hath not another to help him up’. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
I agree but the same Book says:
‘Be not deceived: evil communications (friends, relations, neighbor, colleagues etc) corrupts good manners (ideas, opinions, visions, focus, behaviors, ways of life etc). I Corinthians 15:33.
Choose your friends and confidants carefully.
Experience
This is the knowledge, skill and understanding that have been gained through doing something for a period of time or the things that has happened which influences somebody’s thinking and or behavioral pattern. Experience comes from knowing and understanding a person, society, situation, skill, art, circumstances etc, for some period of time.
‘Experience is the best teacher’. Sorry, not in all cases, for how do you explain a sixteen year old secondary school girl getting pregnant a second time. This is after going through the pains, regrets, sorrows, rejections, abuses, shames, isolations, traumas and depressions of a first pregnancy. If the first pregnancy was a mistake, it would be hard (almost impossible) to take and accept the second, as one.
A person that has gone through a ‘bad’ experience should be better placed in advising those that haven’t, but this does not apply in all cases. Experience is not always the best teacher for most individuals since they do not learn anything from their past experiences. This is however not saying that experience is bad.
Few have the brain, mental capacity and disposition to understand what happens around them. Unfortunately also, only these few can rightly impact knowledge, understanding and experience. This is what is termed wisdom.
“…And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into a ditch”. Matthew 15:14b.
Who are your mentors, advisers, role models, counselors and teachers?
Belief
This can be a touchy subject. So many beliefs with so many diverse teachings and ways of life. What you believe tells and shows people who and what you are or represent. How you are dressed (present yourself) dictates how you will be addressed. What are the beliefs you clothe yourself with? This will dictate how people will regard you, how they will address you.
“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou (you) shalt be saved…” Acts 16:31.
‘Saved’ and not ‘save’. It means you only have to believe (present tense) or accept Christ to be saved (past tense). Salvation is not something done now, not a thing of the present but what Jesus had done, performed, completed and finished more than 2000 years ago. It is saying you will be saved from all the sorrows, sadness, depressions, mistakes, failures (social, economic and academic) etc of this world because you have a burden carrier in Jesus Christ (Isaiah 53: 4-10). Jesus will take and carry that heavy, crunching load of life off you. This means you will be saved from the dictates, controls and manipulations of the evil spirit(s) responsible for your masturbating habit.
“If the Son (Jesus Christ) therefore shall make (set) you free, you shall be free indeed”. John 8:36.
‘Indeed’ means in reality, its not magic, not advance free fraud (419), not deceit but in truth, in reality. It will be real freedom.
The Effects
You might be wondering, why all the teachings and preaching on knowledge, understanding, experience and belief? As I have been trying to put or pass across, what you know, understanding, have experienced, taught or told by an experienced person, and believe; dictates how you think, how you handle situations and what you actually and finally decide to do.
Many erroneous teachings and beliefs fly about on masturbation. Some of these, I have in some ways, enumerated in the previous chapters but in summary, the world (man’s wisdom) believe there is nothing bad (except shame and guilt in some societies) in masturbation. Any notion of its negativity is a myth for an orgasm is an orgasm whatever ways it is produced. I do accept and appreciate the fact that nothing in life is 100% bad or good thus; masturbation does have its positives. The negatives, however, out-weighs the positives. The effects can be classified into four.
Physical: Masturbation at the early stage (i.e. twice in three months to ones in a month) causes genital bruises or injuries in most cases. This is due mainly to the inexperience of the individual. It can lead to infection if it is not well treated or handled and extreme cases can affect the future sexual and reproductive capability of the individual.
At mid-stage (twice in three weeks to ones a week), bruises and injuries may have reduced significantly. Experience and knowledge could have made the individual aware of lubricants coupled with better and more convenient methods of masturbation. Lubricants reduce friction, which causes bruises and or injuries. Masturbation becomes more of a hobby with increasing difficulty in stopping. A masturbator that does not eat well can start to lose weight and plumpness. It has almost become an addiction.
If the mid-stage is not controlled or stopped, the individual progresses to the late stage (i.e. at least ones a day). At this stage, it is an addiction and it will take great self-control not to do it in public in the full glare of everybody. If a junkie can’t do without drugs and a nymphomaniac can’t be at ease without having sex often, a masturbator (at this stage) believes he/she cannot survive, be at peace or be happy without masturbating.
As a junkie is to dangerous drugs, so is a masturbator to masturbation. In men, food deficiency diseases will not be uncommon especially if the individual does not eat well. This can create openings for other forms of diseases since the person’s body defenses are weak. Any chance of being infected with STD depends on contact with any masturbation tool(s) (vibrator, candle, pencil, pen etc) already used by an infected person or that has already been infected, particularly in women. In this case, AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is not left out especially if there are bruises, fresh wounds and injuries.
Emotional: This has to do with your feelings. Love, hate guilt, fear, anger, sadness, sorrow, shame, excitement etc. Masturbation produces sexual excitement which is temporal but the effects do tarry in the mind. Emotions are dependent on personal values. An individual with good Christian values naturally will feel guilt and shame especially if seen or caught in the act, which can lead to stigmatization. On the other side, there might be no guilt or shame but secrecy. There is a tendency to feel sexually incapable, sexually odd, sexually abnormal and inadequate especially in women who are more attached to their emotions than men.
These guilt feeling naturally declines as the act progresses to mid-stage for as the physical body is adjusting, the emotions also adjust but this may not always be the case. In some, the more they masturbate the more the guilt, hate and anger which can lead to serious depression and sorrow. It will seem difficult for the individual involve to understand, but something in them keeps saying the act is wrong. That thing is their conscience.
The conscience is troubled; disturbed, not clear thus, the guilt will not disappear. It shows something is not altogether right. However, those whose guilt level declines have had their conscience seared, branded, burnt or rendered rough and hard (I Timothy 4:2; I Corinthians 8:7).
By the late stage, those with increasing guilt would have become an emotional wreck, a pitiable sight, stigmatized (self-induced or otherwise) and may feel useless to both self and society. A rough and hard conscience will be adamant, stubborn and unrepentant.
A teenage girl was once asked if she was not scared of getting pregnant due to her promiscuity. Her ready reply was; “I don’t care!” This was said with such unreserved passion and vigor that I was worried, scared and sorry for her. That’s a soul with a seared conscience.
Psychological: this is the scientific study of the mind and how it influences thinking and behavior. On this wise, it is the state of mind of a masturbator, which influences his/her thinking and behavior. I am not a psychologist and will not behave as one but what my little experience has taught me is this; masturbators live with complexes.
A complex is an act of reasoning or worrying about something in a way that is abnormal. It may not be all masturbators but with those I have met, they worry a lot. What they worry about includes their health, well-being, state of mind, addiction (i.e. the fact that they cannot control the act), fear of being seen or caught, fear of infection (because of bruises and injuries), fear of losing the ability to procreate (especially in men) etc.
Whether these fears are justified or not, is not the issue but that of worrying about something which is preventable. Now, complexes can be of two types:
Inferiority Complex: is to feel not as good, not as important, not as intelligent, not as capable, or as adequate as other people. This is to feel that other people rightly or otherwise, are better than you, sexually. Thus, ‘worries’, as listed above, becomes natural to individuals suffering from this.
Superiority Complex: is the complete opposite of inferiority complex. That is reasoning or showing that you are better than other people. The thought pattern of somebody suffering from this would be; “I masturbate because I am better and cleverer than every other person; because I have a unique brain, a fantastic body system, and a powerful and enviable sexual drive”. These are the set of people that will not see the need for a mate; for a soul mate, spouse or marriage. These are the set of people that will find it comfortable:
‘Speaking lies in hypocrisy: having their (or with a) conscience seared with a hot iron: forbidding to marry (or not seeing the need or importance for marriage)’. I Timothy 4:2-3a.
Here, it is not much of worry but a conceited confidence in oneself.
Now, the similarity in these two extreme conditions is the dangerous false impression created.
‘…And they told him (Moses), and said, “We came unto the land where you sent us, and surely it flows with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it. Nevertheless the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the cities are walled and very great…We be not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we (us)…And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak…and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers…” Numbers 13:26-33.
Here, we see fear brought about by what they saw (which was not a lie) and a lack of faith in the God that made water to be a solid wall at the Red Sea (Exodus 14:1-31). It was really less of what they saw and more of what they perceived from what they saw. Fear and lack of faith combined, which resulted in inferiority complex. They said:
“And wherefore hath the LORD brought us unto this land, to fall by the sword, that our wives and our children should be a prey? Were it not better for us to return into Egypt?” Numbers 14:13.
And God replied and said:
‘Say unto them; “As truly as I live, says the LORD, as you have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you; Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness…you shall not come into the land…which I swear to make you dwell therein…and your children shall wander in the wilderness forty years…I the LORD have said, I will surely do it… in this wilderness they shall be consumed, and there they shall die”. Numbers 14:28-35.
Simply put, you lose with inferiority complex. What about superiority complex?
‘And Joshua sent men from Jericho to Ai… “Go up and view the country”…And they returned to Joshua, and said unto him. “Let not all the people go up; but let about two or three thousand men go up and smite Ai; and make not all the people to labor there; for they are but few”. Joshua 7:2-5.
So, Joshua sent about three thousand men and Israel, for the first time, lost a major battle after coming out of Egypt, spending forty years in the wilderness and entering Canaan. Joshua had to cry:
“O LORD, what shall I say, when Israel turns their backs before their enemies?” Joshua 7:8.
You lose both ways irrespective of the extremes. I think and believe me when I say I know it’s better to stay with God.
Spiritual: As the term suggests, it has to do with the unseen world or entity. Basically, it takes the spiritual to understand the spiritual (I Corinthians 2:14), but I want to trust God and invite you along. Let’s see the spiritual as the way God looks at or view you. When you masturbate, what does your Creator see? What does your Source think? What is your Lifeline’s disposition to masturbation? First and foremost, masturbation is just another one of the numerous sexual sins in the scriptures.
‘Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lust of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves’. Romans 1:24.
What are these ‘uncleanness?’ For the purpose of this book; they are Fornication (Deuteronomy 22:23-24), Adultery (Leviticus 18:20; 20:10; Deuteronomy 22:22), Prostitution (Leviticus 19:29; Deuteronomy 22:23-24), Rape (Deuteronomy 22:25-27) Seduction (Exodus 22:16-17), Incest (Leviticus 18:6-18; Deuteronomy 27:20, 22-23), Lesbianism (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26), Sodomy/Homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Deuteronomy 23:17; Romans 1:27), Bestiality (Exodus 22:19; Leviticus 18:23; 20:15-16; Deuteronomy 27:21) and Masturbation (Leviticus 15:16).
The implication of this is that when you commit the act (masturbation), God sees you as unclean, dirty, immoral, bad, impure, untouchable, an abomination. God’s disposition is the same disposition you have towards feces, phlegm or anything distasteful. No matter how much you love somebody, when the person defecates you won’t stay in the room or toilet with him or her. If you do stay, it will be for a tangible reason or purpose but at (possibly) great inconvenience. Thus, when you masturbate, God leaves. He may come back after the act because of His Grace but be assured that you are losing spiritually, coupled with the fact that you are playing away your divine destiny in God.
“And if any man’s (or woman’s) seed of copulation go out from him (or her), then he (or she) shall wash (uncleanness) all his (or her) flesh in water, and be unclean until evening”. Leviticus 15:16.
Why the feminine additions? Because copulation simply means to have sex and which of the sexes do not? Masturbators fantasize or Biblically, lust during masturbation. This means the person imagines a sexual situation with another person or any other sexual scenarios and concerning this, Jesus said:
“…I say unto you, that whosoever looks on a woman (or man) to lust after her (or him) hath committed adultery (become unclean) with her (or him) already in his (or her) heart”. Matthew 5:28.
Masturbation makes you dirty, an abomination before God thus, the person cannot worship God in truth and in Spirit. John. 4:23-24. Somebody, who claimed to have been a witch, said ones that the seed of copulation (KJV), or semen (NLT), released outside proper, genuine and godly wedlock, is the blood they lick or drink in the spirit. So, the more you masturbate, the more your blood (or life: for in the blood is life) is licked or drunk by witches and wizards. How true this is, I don’t know but what I do know however is that, prevention is better than cure.
Chapter four
Why Do Souls Do It?
Why do you do it? Why does a created being of God masturbate? Somebody Jesus Christ shed his precious, rare blood for; a person with a potential of being indwelt by the Holy Spirit; an individual with the ability of being whatever he or she can, in the Divine; whose destiny in the LORD will not and must not be shelved, covered, destroyed or forsaken. Why do you masturbate?
Listen, though your physical body carries out the act, it does not however work alone. Why do souls do it? The key word is ‘souls’. It is the real you; your personality; your actual being, recognized by heaven and hell; that dictates the tune; that actually carries out the act; that tells, dictates and or instruct your physical body on what and or what not to do. How and why? Because we shall:
‘All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again’. Ecclesiastes 3:20.
“…till thou (you) return unto the ground; for out of it were thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shall thou return”. Genesis 3:19.
Your physical body will eventually end up where it came from, where it was originally formed or taken from by God (Genesis 2:7) but:
“…the soul that sins (transgresses, offends, do abominably, disobeys etc), it (he or she) shall die”. Ezekiel 18:4c or 20a.
I could have titled this chapter ‘Why do people or individuals or persons do it?’ But that would not have brought out its real intent and or meaning. It is your souls that is in control (in-charge) of your being or will so, logically it should be the soul that should be answerable to the Divine.
Also, the Devil does not make or force (except when under satanic control) you to masturbate. I agree that he (Devil) can influence, manipulate and deceive you for:
‘…the great dragon…that old serpent, called the Devil and Satan deceives the whole world (mankind)’. Revelation 12:9.
Paul the Apostle said:
“…as the Serpent beguiled (deceived) Eve through his subtilty…” II Corinthians 11:3.
That was why Christ said:
“…I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves; (so) be you therefore wise as serpents (Devil) and harmless as doves (Holy Spirit)”. Matthew 10:16.
Satan does not and cannot force or make you commit the act. It is your soul, which houses your will that is responsible.
I won’t claim to know all the answers but from my years of dealing with masturbators, the reasons can be summarized thus:
Ignorance and Misinformation
As I tried to explain in the last chapter, knowledge and understanding are vital tools of survival in life. Ignorance is a disease. A disease with all the potentials of killing, maiming, destroying, annihilating like AIDS and all the other life threatening diseases. I want to believe that ignorance is worse than AIDS.
What you don’t know and understand, you abuse and or maltreat. If you don’t know and understand the Grace of God, you snub and deride it. If you don’t know and understand your body’s sexual capabilities or lack of it, you misuse it. If you don’t know and note, what circumstances sexually arouses you, you become a slave to masturbation. If you are not informed, you will be deformed.
Peer Pressure
This is strong and rampant among young people. It has to do with wanting to be like other people of the same age. An individual that has friends, colleagues, mates etc, with low sexual morality, naturally may be forced to follow the trend. If the individual does not, then he/she will have to face a lot of abuse, taunting and derision by his or her peers. If he or she remains adamant, then the inevitable happens: isolation and stigmatization.
Pregnancy and STD
Masturbation aids sexual satisfaction that does not involve the fear of getting pregnant; the stress or need for birth control and the act of worrying about sexually transmitted diseases (STD). STD in masturbation is almost non-existent so, it is a convenient alternative for getting sexual pleasure with no supposedly attached worries. Masturbation creates an avenue for escapism.
Complex
Much of this has been discussed in chapter three. However, a soul with an inferiority complex of not being able to talk to the opposite sex or being too shy to respond to the advances of the opposite sex naturally resort to masturbation; and the one (superiority complex) that sees the opposite sex or peers around him or her as inferior because of one reason or the other; that feels too big (proud) to talk or associate with them can resort to masturbation to sexually satisfy himself or herself.
Orgasm
This is also escapism. Youths enjoy orgasm just like every other group and most (Christian) youths, who know, understand and believe that sex before marriage is sinful or bad ignorantly indulge in masturbation to satisfy their sexual urges. The thought is since he/she is not having coitus with another individual but is only stimulating him herself then it is not bad or sinful.
A man that does not seem to be able to satisfy his wife sexually (i.e. for the wife to have orgasm) gradually withdraws from the opposite sex. His ego has been punctured and as a saying goes, ‘Ones beaten, twice shy’; he may naturally see masturbation as the only avenue for sexual satisfaction.
In women, if orgasm (clitoral or vagina) seems difficult and somehow stressful with a man, masturbation becomes a last resort as the sex urge or desire dissipates slowly. This is the case with most females since the smoldering coal takes long to start and finish smoldering.
Partner’s Availability and Readiness
An individual that is sexually active but is married to a sexually passive person resorts to masturbation to satisfy his or her desire. This is because a sexually active person gets aroused easily and frequently while a passive person obtains arousal with difficulty and rarity. The sexually active partner resorts to masturbation not because he or she wants to (i.e. in most instances) but because he or she does not want to be unfaithful to his or her spouse.
In some couples, the problem is not sexual passivity or otherwise but non-availability due to work, interest and time constraints. In some others, it is how ready the partner is or is not for sex. Thus, when a partner is not always available or when available, is not ready due to one reason or the other (for example: tiredness, weakness, mental state, physical condition, fasting etc), masturbation may creep in.
Satanic Influence
This is the effect the Devil has on the way a person thinks, acts or behaves. Satanic influences in some cases, is when an individual is addicted to masturbation. As I stated, it is not in all cases and it can lead to satanic possession especially in non-believers.
Satanic possession is a state of having been owned by the Devil. That means as the remote control is to the television, the Devil takes charge or complete control of the individual’s life. These are the set of people that will masturbate even at a bus stop. Why? The Devil is in-charge of their lives.
Don’t know the details of how or when it happens and I will not pretend to know, but it generally comes either as a curse, covenant or constant disobedience to the Spirit of God. I think it is worth mentioning that there are family gods (Satan’s demons) that compels the members of the family to masturbate whether they like it or not. An educated member of this family may reason it out as being hereditary or “that’s just the way we are in our family”.
‘Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath showed it unto them’. Romans 1:19.
‘Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened’. Romans 1:21.
“Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lust of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves”. Romans 1:24.
‘And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate (check endnote) mind, to do those things which are not convenient’. Romans 1:28.
‘Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things (masturbation) are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them’. Romans 1:32.
Endnote
Reprobate: a person who spends a lot of time doing things which society in general considers IMMORAL. Biblically means to be divinely rejected or cast away.
Chapter five
How To Stop It!
This book will not be complete and I would have done a great injustice to mankind if I fail to include this chapter. In fact, the aim of this book would have been defeated and the book itself senseless.
Masturbation is an enemy of progress. It destroys or limits destinies. It’s a sin in God’s sight, just like every other sexual sin. It’s an abomination before your Creator. Yes! It’s sexually exciting and pleasurable but it is also physically addictive, emotionally disturbing, psychologically confusing and spiritually draining.
Are you addicted, disturbed, confused and/or drained? There is hope. ‘…hope makes not ashamed’. Romans 5:5a. It does not matter how long or how far you have been hooked on the act. It is not what has happened that is important, but what is about to happen in God. ‘He (God) hath made everything beautiful (new, attractive, glorious, glowing etc) in His time’. Ecclesiastes 3:11a. The Bible records:
‘…if any man (human being) be in Christ he (or she) is a new creature (person): old things (events, acts, mistakes, thoughts etc) are passed away (forgiven and forgotten); behold all things are become new’. II Corinthians 5:17.
I decided to write this book so that masturbators (men, women and youths) can be delivered. No matter how far or deep you have gone you can be set free. God can take up your case and set you free. Jesus said:
“Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I (Jesus) will give you rest”. Matthew 11:28.
So, how can you stop it? An adage says, “the day a mad man knows he is mad, fifty percent (50%) of his problem is solved”. The day you decided to pick up this book and read, half of your masturbating habit or addiction to masturbation has vanished. Did you say a big Amen…to that?
Your first step to deliverance is to accept masturbation as a problem. Masturbation is not godly, is not right and is not normal. Do not in anyway try to explain it away for that is exactly what Satan will want you to do and believe. Remember, ‘he (Satan) came to steal, to kill, and to destroy’ your joy, your peace, your confidence, your happiness, and your Divine destiny (John 10:10a). He wants to give you sorrow, pain, guilt, unhappiness, worry, impurity, blemish and the likes. Do not be fooled by ‘the wiles (tricks) of the Devil’ (Ephesians 6:11b), for Jesus enjoins us to be:
“…wise as serpent (Devil and what he represent) and harmless as doves” (symbolizing the Spirit of God). Matthew 10:16.
Christ also said:
“…I am come that they (you and I) might have life (joy, peace, glory honor, self-respect etc) and that they (you and I) might have it (life) more abundantly (or plentiful)”. John 10:10b
Actions beget reactions and some factors cause masturbation or makes individuals to indulge in the act (check chapter 4). So, to stop the act, you deal with the causes.
Ignorance and Misinformation
Knowledge; that is, good and right knowledge will free you. Part of this is what you are presently doing (i.e. reading this book). Ignorance will not take you far in this world; in fact, it will actually take you steps backward.
He who knows not, and does not know that he knows not, is a fool, avoid him. Somebody that does not know and understand masturbation and believes he knows it is not only a fool but is actually working towards societal severance, isolation, loneliness, conceit, and death. Absalom can be regarded as a typical example of this. He cunningly and successfully dethroned his father David (II Samuel 15:1-15) but foolishly and stupidly admitted his father’s friend and ally, Hushai, into his cabinet (II Samuel 15:32-34,37; 16:16-19; 17:1-22). He died foolishly, stupidly and shamefully in battle (II Samuel 18:9-17).
I implore and beg you to please get informed or you will end up, deformed.
He who knows not, and knows that he knows not, is a child, instruct him. This is an individual that does not know and understands masturbation and is sure he does not know. He is not self-conceited and does not behave knowledgeably on the issue. His attitude will either be: “I don’t know and I don’t care to know” or “I don’t know but I want or would love to know”. Which position have you taken?
Naturally my advice will be the latter. Love to know; desire to be informed. Among the twelve disciples, Thomas was different and unique. Why? He asked questions whenever knowledge and understanding seems to elude him. Jesus said:
“And whither (or where) I go you know and the way you know”. John 14:4.
It was only Thomas among all the disciples that was bold, confident and ready to swallow his pride and put aside his shame, concerning his lack of knowledge and understanding on what Jesus was saying. Thus, he responded:
“Lord, we (not I) know not whither thou goes; and how can we (not I) know the way”. John 14:5.
By asking that seemingly odd question, Thomas allowed, provided or made it possible for mankind to know that Jesus was and is; “…the way (not one of the ways), the truth (i.e. encompassing individual truths into the TRUTH) and the life (everlasting joy, hope, peace and happiness); no man (human being) comes to the Father (God the Father) but by me (Jesus)” John 14:6.
A child desires to know for “…except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven”. Matthew 18:3-4. Why not be a child in the affairs of life so that you can be a sage.
He who knows, and does not know that he knows, is asleep, wake him. Some people know certain truths and facts about masturbation but are unaware of it. Why? They could have had an ‘I don’t care’ attitude or just felt masturbation is of little or no significance to them. Listen, if you do not masturbate, what about your friend, mate, colleague, neighbor, relative or somebody you know that does. Can’t you help him or her? ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. Are you truly a friend to that person struggling and suffering under the satanic clutches of masturbation? Are you?!!
If you have money and you do not know you do, its usefulness has been temporarily defeated as long as you are not aware of your possessing it. In fact, you will gladly borrow if you are pressingly in need of cash and yet, you have the money somewhere. Gideon was threshing wheat by the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. A mighty man of valor in God and yet he didn’t know (Judges 6:11-14). In fact, when he was reminded and told by an angel, he replied:
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