Chapters Of A Dead Poet
By Empire
Copyright Empire 2008-2010
Bottom of Form
Introduction:
First of all; I must say hello to everyone. I hope you enjoy my work and look forward for more to come. It’s kind of hard to describe my book. Just going to say; are you ready for something new?
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1: Salvation
Page 5
Chapter 2: Cryptic series
Page 24
Chapter 3: Hate sonnets
Page 41
Chapter 4: Love sonnets
Page 52
Chapter 5: Love has fallen(Short Story)
Page 63
Chapter 6: Fairy falls (Short story)
Page 84
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Echoes Of Rememberance
Page 90
Chapter 1 Salvation
Surrender to sorrow:
Hear my cries in worst days; See me in a silent night. My love, I’ll walk in sorrow; there is no surrender. You’ll never stand so strong and you carry a child. Death to love; it’s stricken in my eyes.
Your string of melodies; it plays no more. Such tears of rain; it dries in the darkest hour. Your emotion dies when you reach me. Forever killed are the days.
Echo’s my shattered heart in chaos. Your sickness cries and covers my soul. So passionate it was yesterday; shamefully was your way to say good-by.
In the moment:
Yesterday’s love comes and my breath is taken away. You’ve caught me; so take me as your prey. Lie, beat, and deceive. I want it all and able to receive.
Love is twisted; there is no direction. All it brings is a moment of affection. I was trying to give you my all. I step into it and entered a deep fall
.
Undead:
Life, it peels away my skin. It drains the blood till it dries on the floor. An ash of a burnt bone in the rain of mud; it screams of life in a silent night with pale eyes. My laughter echoes in the moment of anything. The pain is given in each pleasure of a waiting hand.
Smile for me and such evil dares to cover my eyes. And the anger shades into my mind. The question; I can not see. Your torment pours my blood. The world why love? I will return again.
Darkness; can you hear it? It whispers with sorrow. Tonight like in your days; it renders to think of my past. Your words are like my veins that are dry like sand. I’ll find and seek new ways to kill for the lifeless years that are gone. Can you hear? Do you know? Yesterday still lingers. The reasons are no more.
So call the birds, which search for food to eat the flesh that has been gathered. At the gates of hell; I’ll wait. Their blood will cover my eyes as my hands grasp upon such faces. There is no light underneath in the nothingness of darkness. But I am awakened. I hear the screams; my soul that is broken is there.
Years are gone- bye since I was cast away. I lived and died with the plagues; it was my paradise. Darkness, she had loved me in the days of my life. I remember my sins forever. So will you burn with me? Darkness, she does not show her sorrows. And in the field of a night, I do not enter alone. Hell and lust calls me.
Comprehend:
Nail down my anger for my enemy. Show me a silent mouth instead of those vicious rays. Smooth the tongue and show praise. Lighten my heart for my enemy. Comforts with your thoughts; don’t delay. Increase our lives with another day.
An endless fight is what made us like fools. Our lives can be so bright; even our souls. The future foretold. That is heaven’s goal.
Endless thoughts:
Endless thoughts; it captures the beauty. It carries the weight of desire. The vein of everything you want. Suffer the happiness that ends. It’s blood of distress.
Endless thoughts; it carries the dreams. It destroys other thoughts. It can create other thoughts. Even in the silence.
Endless thoughts; they’re just so many to even count. There can be nothing to count or it can run endlessly in your mind.
Endless thoughts; they will never end. They will never end. They will never end. They will never end. They will never end. You see.
Open the gates:
Can heaven’s gate be open to me? Can they want the outcast? Can they want the one who has no interest? The one who’s world is twisted and with no faith. They can not accept this in heaven. They can not accept someone who never goes to church.
Someone who believes not in their ways, I’ve been though them; in and out so many counted times. So can heaven’s gate be open to me? I ask you lord everyday of my life. Even when I am not saying anything; you hear it in my mind. I’ve read in your book to what it takes.
I’m letting you know I will fail to do all it takes. You’ve sent me people to tell what I must do. They do not even answer my reply. So can heaven’s gate be open to me? I’m asking you Lord!
Lord’s view:
It was a hot tempered kind of a day and nothing was going right by the way. As I was walking; I thought I was on my own. Someone reached out and said you’re not alone. I wondered who it could be. It was The Messiah saying those words to me.
I looked up to the sky and I saw him in the clouds. What does this mean? With the wind whispering I heard him say to surrender and lay everything in his hands. I watched him storm across and conquer all the lands.
Take my hand he said; let’s feed my flock. As I stood there kneeling upon a rock. I’ve seen you keep me in your heart by a rhyme. I never forgot you all this time. You called and yes, I did hear. The days have ended and paradise is here.
Praise & Glory:
Let me praise you my Lord; as if a new day has begun. Let the waters fill my thirst. As I fill your cup with all my praise. Let heaven form a new sign to proclaim my love for you.
Shout. Shout I will. Let all in heaven hear it and the angels proclaim glory to our King. They hear the echoes of mystery singing glory to our King.
So let me praise you my Lord. Until your kingdom covers the entire earth and your light ends the days of our darkness.
Then I will dance with great joy in the streets of the world. And shout in great laughter for Your Glory has come.
Hold:
What does tomorrow hold? My mind is blank and fear holds very tight. She is afraid; do you not see? A storm is racing for an end.
What does tomorrow hold? I believe in just choosing one. She tells me, why would you do such a thing? Is faith covered over mud?
What does tomorrow hold? To die means so many things today. She says I would not kill myself. But I would kill you! The ground I stand on must be planning my grave.
What does tomorrow hold? I ask you to please help me. I do love you so much. She screams at me; you love no one but you’re self. The storm is never calm.
What does tomorrow hold? With or without; Lord I must learn to understand. She always says God will not help us. But the storm will end.
In sin I will say:
Eloi; I’ll say again. You’re great. I’ll praise you even if my heart dies. Yes. I know there is no escaping you.
Eloi; you make me realize I’m only a man; when you are everything. I will say. You’re great even in sorrow.
Eloi; no one is like you. Everyone fails me. But you stay the same. I know. I live in sin before your eyes.
Eloi; I still Love You. My soul lies dead. It’s covered in darkness. I the sinner will say again. “You are God.”
Part 2
Broken & Dark:
In our words paradise has fallen and heaven burns. The music softly clashes as the record silently turns. A soul lost streams but no connection like a phone. The wilderness seeks to nail you deeply to its throne. Never to escape the grasping claw that holds so tight.
Heaven’s door is broken apart and dark covers its light. You search in panic speed and it carries no peace. Never will they change the times to set your release. A torn heart contains nothing; it only holds a suffering lease. It drains into one’s dream like a blood sucking leech.
So you say, what about wanting a forgiveness speech? Now that you’re dead, there is no reason to reach. My mind whispers in torment and chaos lingers. Has Heaven fallen because of all the accused pointed fingers?
A Question:
Now, I question the days I hurt you so much. Spoken words and never again to touch. I’m trying to understand the reasons and the pain that it deals. Death was to be given; but love just repels.
You keep things so sick, it was like the flu. My love so fake, yours was ever so true. Do you remember my stories; you’re my only one. The truth was too late & four I’ve already done. The love was not worth it. It was so dishonest. The dumbest joke made as I cling to drunkenness.
A sweet love that is lost. Any man would deserve to die. In the last days of our anger; you chose to loosen the tie. A passionate twist but you cared not in any way. Misery only knows why the rest of the days.
Untold:
My love, I neglected you. So color your veins blue. Before death came such feeling to die with you. In moments of splendor, my lust had covered the whore. My feelings were made of thoughts being such a bore.
My love, only you can touch the life of any vine. I destroyed your beauty. Your look was so richly divine. Like a sensual fruit gushing; she kept off her dress. Her lips killing me with a wanting first kiss. Love burned with an eternal flame. It even lasted when the sun had set. Pouring the wine of desire, it was my cleaver bet.
My love, so clear was your faith of a morning sun rise. In paradise I see the pain, the agony in your eyes. Can we walk in the fields to die once more? Death had chained me so close, when I laid her on the floor.
Perhaps In Pieces:
A message is on the floor; it’s reached heaven’s door. Its time is now, so change your mind. It does morn for more. It appears to you that the years are stricken. In pieces is your soul torn and left broken. Did you carry the letters that were burned?
You waved at me with hope and your eyes turned. You screamed, why did you do this to me? The hour glass has dropped and now you’re free. A complex anger came as an unseen storm. Apart from sex; the love never did swarm.
Weeks have past bye and then the whole year. Cold were the nights, a shedding painful lonely tear. To the dust, my body once again will return. A given test perhaps, until someone has to learn.
Call This Night:
Call this night, the woman wants to be free. She walks naked with such eyes bursting in flames. Will she dare to tie me? My mind in thoughts, I only wish for more. Lust in my hands; it will open the door.
A petal of enchantment that tickles her craves. She is touched in the streams of the grasping waves. The guilt kills so deadly in a moment. So I will not touch her memory. Waves are pouring softly into her, it was mandatory.
What could have been in such a moment? She came dressed with a truthful servant. Her rosary; the cross proved she was a true giver. Passionate dreams awaken by the racing river. I dare to say out loud for everyone could hear. Love, can not start over again. I’m pulled by my ear and this is how it ends.
The Reason:
She left with no reason. And she left only a lonely letter. It was to be, until words were made bitter. Many times she answered the phone with such anger. A letter, but she said I’ll starve in hunger.
I love you, truly I do not know what for. She said to me. Your thoughts are the reasons why I walked out the door. She closed everything to me and threw the key. She cried and said. Your child, you will never see. I said the worst thing that a man could say.
Kill our baby. I do not care about it in this today. My pain is not a reason to say such words. I’m not sure if she can understand? That your life does mean a lot to me and I will take the stand. I love your mother, just like in the days before. And when you’re eyes have opened to see this world. I’ll be there once more.
Chapter 2 Cryptic Series
Cryptic:
Blame the struggle; I never asked to live this way. Blame the one, who thought of a background check. Words from a true heart; your children will be hooked on drugs and they will desire to sell them. Don’t blame me; Blame the struggle.
Blame those or them; who wrote the system. Don’t blame me; when your daughters and wives are turned in and out because of dope. Don’t blame me; when your sons and fathers are dead because there was no way out. Blame the ones; who thought and brought more crime, hate, and violence.
The struggle; it was never written. If someone is to blame; blame all the writer’s who wrote the laws and rules. Don’t blame me; I got to get paid! Blame the struggle; it was given.
Cryptic 2:
Dr. King, racism is not gone with the wind. The walls are just in a new place. Someone please tell me the message; was his death in vain? They hide in the streets. Imprison their hands and then you will see that thing’s has not changed. They separate the areas by the color of your skin.
So divided they are; why is this so?
Go to jail Dr. King, the message never reached. You’re in chains and they care about nothing. They played your “Dream” and in your day you looked so “Black and White”. Maybe you should have been broadcasted in “Color”.
The message was not heard; they just got off their chairs and left. And the lawman changed the channel to a football game. So please; someone answer me. What was his message? He is dead and can not answer me.
Cryptic 3:
Four bloody bodies on the ground and I ‘m hidden by the widow scared. Their eyes covered; hands tied behind their backs. I lie; I never saw this. I walked quietly in and looked though the stained pants of their pockets. I ran and to everyone I know, I said I did it; so I’m in jail.
Hi, you saw me the other day and my name you knew. What you do not remember me? I took your mother’s purse when she entered McDonalds for lunch. She left it waiting for me as she stood in line. You know my name, don’t you? You saw me in town walking;
I even bumped into you to ask you something. I said to myself; there goes a woman more messed up than me. She’s got to give me the time and day; look at her she is crippled and blind. Then you said hello.What you still don’t know my name? Let me tell you about myself.
I love to take showers in lakes; even by the sea. Wait a minute; you saw me at the water hoses in your yard this morning. I was doing my dope dance and you spotted me a five for it. So I ran to your aunt’s crack house and knocked on her door. She lifted up her window and said what you need?
Under the street bridge; I lay all night in the rain. With my veins full of brown and my eyes opened with snow. Then that stupid woman who walks all night came near me. She said. I’ll suck you dry for some dope. Hell no; I said. She tried to jack me for my loot. I kicked her off me and took her money too. Running away from me; she said. “Thank you”.
Yesterday; I saw you at the mall with all your gay friends. Then again at that flamboyant nightclub; you’re a lonely man. So I left with you; because I have no home and I say to myself. “I’m not a fag.” But your ass; I mean your back. I see every night and I’m there for the money. What you still do not know me?
My name is Thug.
Cryptic 4:
I must have seen you then, so quiet was your hello. What did I do downtown in the rain? When the homeless were dancing and James Brown was singing try me. Even then; I did not see you looking at me. So I robbed their cup of coins and made a run for it.
Many years ago again, a big hello the radio said. I sat in a chair to study with Lorraine. Love is on the way, the radio played in that day in school. Never did I listen to the words. A teacher said a wise man would listen. The cry; I did not hear. So I burned many books; they were lit on fire in the school lockers.
Even then; you were trying to seduce me with a letter. So jealous the feeling when I finally noticed. It reminded me of the past times. The words on a viewing screen and it read.
“I will listen because stories can be told.”
You wished this day to finally come. This is what you remind me of. You’re like a woman who says many nice things and I just say ok. But when the freak switch is on; oh, I do listen to them very well. And know exactly what they mean after in bed.
“You’re such a tease.”
You are the storm, my life has been waiting for; but poetry does move in motion.
“So hear the words.”
Your words whisper to such fear. I believe it breaks love alone. Maybe your dream is forever. It would mean years forever to try. Love says why? But so much it says. Your passion speaks in erotic words. Such confident words but love is to die.
Love Empire.
Cryptic 5:
Moonlight streams and is deadly. Cast out from the crowd strangely. Cry the needy and to the wealthy, they wonder. Make it a way to pay; it’s the people’s blunder. Scratched too much, do you not bleed? You pay for it, never do they feed.
Flow in a river of coverage. Push to fail because you’re below average. It takes a woman to spread her legs and give birth. Criminals, choose who you want in the money turf. Play the field; take all the people’s need. It can only stop the plague of greed.
One can not change the world but can give knowledge. Money has covered their eyes after college. They work for us and do not see. What a waste but this message is for the land of the free.
Cryptic 6:
Still it does not give you the right. This was your last words to me. In your mind cries the stories of the past. In the days of youth your father had raped you. Your sister had touched you in some strange way. Your neighbor played house with you; he made you the woman. Whatever happened has changed your mind.
Heartless it has made you, so you go up on little boys and girls. You go into young defenseless women and rape the old. You’re a coward, so death has called your name out. Your mind is rotten and you fight only those who choose not to fight.
Tales of an untold story; this is for you. Fifteen years has pasted since last I’ve seen you. You had raped a real good friend. She cried tears of anger and it flowed down her brother’s eyes. We found you the next day at gun point and pushed you into the car.
At the fields I looked at you with her holding my hand next to me. While twenty-five men raped you and she saw it. They were not gay; perhaps they made and proved a point. Do not enter what does not want you to enter.
It still does not give you the right. That was your last words to me. If only you had listened to your words; because you’re up to the same old thing again.
Cryptic 7:
Old lonely woman; she sits on a porch. She begs for money; she carries a burden torch. Everyone is in denial; it gives her a cold feel. Her thoughts are true and her words are real.
She picks up her things and moves down the street. If only some shoes could cover her bare feet. She shouts out words; she talks to her self. She sees a penny in the floor; so she picks it up. Really; is it worth a try?
No one cares about her hunger for dying; it’s why she is in need. Everyone is just walking by; they care not to feed. Today I saw her and such tragic tears. She has disappeared. But her memory still appears.
Cryptic 8:
Today your words are dead. You have said enough; the world is over in your simple words. Your belly aches over work; you cry because they have closed the door. You say. You have no job and for months you stay at home doing nothing.
You’re like a woman; who is in labor. Either; she is afraid or in much pain she cries because of the suffering. Not knowing when it is over; something beautiful is coming. But again you try not and all you do is say I lost my job. So go ahead be a bum.
Hell the way I see it; if you really wanted work. They’re hiring at McDonalds. Yes; I see your pride but what can you do at home? Yes; understandable that the world and the way you lived changed. Think what if you lived in the street. Stop blaming what another person has done. I know, we all have struggles and struggles they are; nothing more.
Someone needs to sit you down and tell you. “You Know What.” Like in my days of crime; they sat me down in my cell in jail. Then Sleepy opened the door and said. Look; I’m not your judge, your P.O. or your dad. But you’re going to do what it takes. No matter if you have to do the time.
You’re going to do it and that’s it. I don’t want to hear when I’m out there; that you’re not giving them hell. His words I took for life, even if it was meant for the crime.
Understand?
Cryptic 9:
Why do I need to be alone? I wish; I had a clone. I’ve written the cost of many things. The cost of prison is what it brings. I needed these things; truly I did.
The money I wanted; so I’m looking out for the pig. In those broke days; I stormed through the mall. If the money I don’t have; and don’t pay back all, I’ll be looking at; and walking through prison hall.
Cryptic 10:
Life is or maybe it can be. A life of a simple man or can they say a mind. Never life but pain likes a slave to be nailed. In the holidays a movie is made; it was watched yesterday on television. Today there is no ghost of the past that comes to tell the wrong.
There is no change for the hunger of money in their eyes. The snow never falls and tiny with the broken, crooked foot with his sickness is doing just fine. He’s been alive a whole year can you believe that. The anger’s own new born is what they only care for.
Life does not move along in your home. It is still and waiting. The question is. Why do you need it for? But time has past away and the moment has become old. It plays like a tree that’s lost its leaves.
Its roots are taken from the ground. Such memory the past brings and it hangs on a rope upon your neck.
I’m trying to break the branch. Life is in the year of 06 and it acts like years ago. Did they really write the truth of the present? And no it’s not the truth; there is no gift. It is open and shown with no secrets. It lingers like a ghost that never sleeps. I’ve never seen or heard of.
But forty- five; Yes, forty-five is all it took. Only three weeks for a little extra more. Six hundred and fifty, can a family really live on that? Not six hundred and fifty dollars but six dollars and fifty cents an hour. What’s worst is six fifty for the past six years. And the slaver is your own brother!
I’m starting to believe that my family is truly the enemy. A message brought on a summer night during Christmas Eve. And no ghost appeared or took my brother away that night. So I ask my self why? Time moves along and hits the back of my head. All I say, I just don’t care about it.
So the world wonders why drugs are sold. Such murders are committed and many things are stolen. I’m not the voice of the world but a mind for a reason. Why? Only ask your self such a question and the present as become the next day.
Now that we’ve come to know life is in 06. The past is dead. The present is in this year. This day and the hour you’ve come to read this. What have you learned from all the things that as happened to you or have you done them. To be human is to see and if you have eyes use them.
Don’t be blind. I know the blind do not judge. They hear everything but they can not see your mistakes. Can we be blind? And we see what’s only right.
Still we are deaf to what we see written. We are dumb because the deaf sees our mistakes. And the wise is quiet for they see and talk about nothing. But in reality; no one cares. The human heart is alive and so dead it feels. The reaper has killed since the past.
Chapter 3 Hate Sonnets
Hate Sonnet:
Love’s fire turns me into ashes and it fades.
Knives stuck in my back from her blades.
The wind covers my footprints with leaves.
The guilt is away and no one will believe.
My hand holds a nine and holding on strong.
Her memory of things that feels so wrong.
Every bullet will cover her whispering cries.
A screaming thought with a list full of lies.
The fireplace smoked and burned all around.
Horror in blinded eyes, a story gains ground.
I burned the hidden items to never portray.
A bloody letter by a window, you did pay.
My vein in pain and here is the ending fate.
My stained gloves I left them at the left gate.
Hate Sonnet 2:
Yesterday she played with a lonely stranger.
Tonight she stands alone with such anger.
Water clashes into us with a needle touch.
The hidden razor was cutting way too much.
Blood pours into a cup to mangle my thirst.
A flickered eye was provoked in April first.
She is dead as her head slams into the floor.
Calmly dressed and head out the backdoor.
My sin in such vein I walk among the stars.
My horde veins are ready for the black tar.
For weeks I have waited for this moment.
Headlights in rage are past the torment.
What I believed to be dead, she had lived.
She hits me with her car I will never forgive.
Hate Sonnet 3:
An estranged mind is corrupted and loose.
Death lingers the breath in yesterdays booze.
In a mental sadness he awaits in the night.
Committed to be insane and will never fight.
Hate tore pieces in his heart in her name.
The dead claimed with the books of blame.
Love with a false name was written in hate.
They open the untold at the poet’s gate.
Blamed in hate killed the greatest love.
Torment in his hands it was covered with a glove.
She killed with a rope tied around the neck.
His passion drunk pushed him into a wreck.
He stored a drug called the potion of lust.
The ashes secured to never fade or rust.
Their hopes scattered into a deep valley.
Their name’s written in blood at the alley.
Hate Sonnet 4:
Welcome to the valley of the sick writer’s.
I’ll show you our wicked hidden laughter’s.
Step in and watch out for the river of shame.
Down the river you’ll see one set in flames.
A poor man’s job let her know I said that!
Some killed their prey until they were flat.
To the right of this bridge is road of horror.
Those killed in love go re-track their hour.
Road to the left it leads to the cage of Blunt.
You better hide if you hear the alarm hunt.
Above us is the hanging of a poet’s lover.
Sir, stay in your seat the show’s almost over.
The tunnel of suffering is our last drop.
Someone has questions before our stop?
Everyone’s running, hey you lost an arm.
What happened to the warning of the alarm?
Hate Sonnet 5:
He waits and spreads his trenching wings.
He loosened the lock of a golden cage ring.
Why do they run from him in the valley?
His eyes locked on a word at a burnt alley.
In darkness he waits to capture a lost heart.
Unknown and they are lifted and torn apart.
They’ll laugh and pour their cups of wine.
By the head there cut for taking his time.
There is no need to hide or to play wonder?
Their backs cut open they speak of plunder.
A composer of songs stood with her violin.
A song of melody pastured into her grin.
She played the morning of a bloody spring.
Her husband was strangled with her strings.
Hate Sonnet 6:
Blunt calls the soul from the flowing water.
He recalls the hour set at the highest tower.
Lust sent a flower to her mistress.
She went to meet her in such distress.
She was kissed with a flower in her hand.
She leaned forward and stained the land.
Another soul spilled on blunts wings of pain.
A story made at sea, nothing ever to gain.
She loved his money and lived for greed.
She counted only and nothing for his need.
Death had visited after years of wait and see.
He fell at her feet & was pushed into the sea.
Calmly she looked with his blood in her eyes.
Her report she filed and it was her disguise.
Hate Sonnet 7:
Yesterday sits alone everyday at the table.
What’s in yesterdays mind, am I disabled?
Yesterday laid with a blade in her side.
Many times yesterday covers up and hides?
A black round shadow replays in my mind.
Was it yesterday? Wait, what did I find?
Yesterday sits there watching me everyday.
What, I can’t feel anything of yesterday.
Yesterday poisoned me forever to be still?
Yesterday moves and the fire is on the grill.
Yesterday is walking and pointing with a pan.
What is yesterday carrying in her hand?
Where am I and what is yesterday saying to me?
Now can you see what I wanted you to see?
Hate Sonnet 8:
Today we explore the skies in single pair.
My love was everything until the despair.
We struggled endlessly & for many miles.
She looks at me with no truth and she smiles.
She left with the broken that was long ago.
So beautiful is the scenery down below.
Love in darkness and was taken so easily.
Emotion-less I stood looking there as if I so busy.
Each pack given with a string to pull.
She hugs me and believes I am the fool.
Deceived an hour the answer from a shrink.
She jumps off with her lips colored pink.
Replaced with a blanket it was my best ever.
Screams of fear as she meets death forever.
Hate sonnet 9:
Arise to my endless song like pouring rain.
My queen, a burning strikes sorrow’s pain.
Remembrance of a light as the living dies.
I’ll crack the moon open as she cries.
Upon her love to eat and shower the prize.
Kill the sum of what is and believe it will rise.
It awakes the dead who linger in the night.
A search-less taste of an endless gutless fight.
Hasten in the night and it will render my soul.
I’ll die with passion into the darkness is my goal.
To burn the flesh with the souls into such fear.
On the hill I shot her like a running deer.
Her blood dripping away as I touch her face.
She was left to die in her blue sexy lace.
Hate sonnet 10:
The music and your voice bellows out loud.
A commercial talked of it and was so proud.
I hear screams of pleasure over the airwaves.
Her laughter because of all of her silly craves.
We fought and the coward never was around.
The knife I tried to reach near the ground.
I hear their voice again in the radio, this D.J.
My words to slender and I don’t care if I pay.
The wheels are turning again in my mind.
Your father’s laugher was dumb and blind.
To tear your skin but instead I stab him.
Across the wall is his voice his name is Jim.
I ran to escape and then I heard your voice.
You’re dead eyes looking toward the choice.
Chapter 4 Love sonnets
Love Sonnet:
I will look into your eyes and find the internal love.
In my eyes, heaven that lives has fallen from above.
I’ve seen it, the pureness that gives from your soul.
It flows like the Nile and I have my drinking bowl.
Such beauty blossom in the Lily’s of the fields.
Wanting it all and mountain does not dare to yield.
My hand is reaching out for your flower has grown.
I kneel before you to never die and to be left alone.
In the sunrise of the morning, love did lay in bliss.
The evening begins & sparks of lights; nothing less.
Fruits are for the spoiled one, the honey never ends.
Into the tunnel of life is where our love will begin.
It was nine breathtaking months into the making.
Sonnets of life and it will be our beginning.
Love Sonnet 2:
A search that was so endless for our souls to meet.
She waits for me in paradise to kneel at her feet.
Paradise rains upon us, it knows our dying romance.
A daylight cosmic shower, it conceals the dance.
Our Love in a heartfelt confession, it fills our days.
Echoes in the gardens it’s where innocents play.
We will eat, feel, taste, touch, we know not a sin.
Our Pleasure again lives in paradise, so let it begin.
I feel her desired heart and its wanting my soul.
Love in ruins surfaces, as we meet heaven’s goal.
Once forbidden, we lay the garden in our seduction.
A tasteful wine pours out from the tree of creation.
Our bodies lie in Eden’s mist of its burning fever.
We flow freely in love together in its rivers forever.
Love Sonnet 3:
Like the sky above, paint my soul in you’re eyes.
Such a wildness of a burning love will never die.
White as a lion she strikes pleasure with her claw.
Passion teases the love; tonight I’ll wait for her call.
In our spirits, it lingers to know what is new to see.
Long distance she plays and says can you taste me?
Raging water does flow in such devitalizes hearts?
So clam, Cupid’s arrows are left instead of darts.
An intoxicating feeling streams openly in our veins.
No sorrows of a regretful suffer or the lost remains.
Cry out pleasure words in captured frame moments.
I’ll squeeze grapes underneath desirable garments.
Your voice is asking for the endless seduction drug.
I taste the forbidden spice as your nails tear the rug.
Love Sonnet 4:
The fire is cast; I see that your candle does burn.
You search for love to never change and never turn.
We will lie in the sands and we’ll die in our passion.
We will walk endlessly and careless in temptation.
Do not fear to taste me with the fruit of sexual lust.
I’ll climax your mind and it will crumble the crust.
Feel it as the ocean flows to the shore and spatters.
My love, I’ll wait to be fed and choose your platter.
The moon shines so bright, so let the waves pour in.
In such desire a star falls and tomorrow will begin.
Heaven with all its signs has marked us eternity.
Like the blooming garden that aches for maternity.
As a bee that gives honey it will be you I will hold.
So sweet are the days and the promise I’ve foretold.
Love Sonnet 5:
With your hands you made the earth make to us new.
As clay to mold everything we say is done by you.
We believed and you showed us the way to be free.
Love and all that lives does grow like days of a tree.
Our bodies forever made in youth and will never die.
In mystery we’ll watch the first night the moon lies.
A glorious moon in love and these are the days.
Endless moment of lights and passionate bliss stays.
God’s voice with his harp plays the melodies of life.
Today the dirt of the earth has made you my wife.
Our footprints left upon the golden streets in paradise.
Our Lips in a kiss at the shaped vineyard dice.
Admiration is painted and heaven is to the west.
It waits for our souls to meet again we will never rest.
Love Sonnet 6:
You ever sat by the ocean shore as the sunset nears?
Let’s shatter the waves of time and make things clear.
Heaven is not far it’s close with a kiss of our lips.
If the water’s high I’ll lasso a rope around your hips.
My words will make you sprout like a bush of roses.
Desire is in your eyes its unlike everyone’s poses.
Imprison and I will break the chains to set you free.
Grasp your nails upon my heart I will never flee.
Like rain pouring I will erase your broken memories.
Never have you seen such driven unlived abilities.
My touch is like honey dripping at the tip of your hair.
The clouds are clear & your life can breathe the air.
When your dreadful days come like a trashing end.
I will smooth out you’re stress & again you can begin.
Love Sonnet 7:
In remembrance a feather moves with melting honey.
Hidden desires of a wanting kiss it tastes your body.
The candles are lit & feel the rose play your melody.
The temperature raises and your body lies playfully.
Feel the warmth tingle it makes you shake so much.
Your smooth legs glided with a passionate touch.
Your nails to tear and with every stroke you peel.
Seduction in your mind can you take what you feel?
Your degree overflowing and it pours all you can give.
Taste the orange on your lips I’m daring a soul to live.
Your body cools down and you’re calling out for more.
Ice melting away it flows down to your candy’s door.
Such emotion lifts you as rain pours over our skin.
With an embracing kiss my love felt so deep within.
Love Sonnet 8:
Never close my eyes from her shadows of evermore.
I feel life stream in my veins do I need to say more?
Tomorrow’s vision is to think of her beauty that lives.
To feel her touch and taste the heat she gives.
Her beauty moves to a kiss of wanting everything.
Upon a pleasurable moonlight we hear the night sing.
Wake the dream is the search of a declivous soul.
In a prolusions moment you can hear time flow.
Away from this woman and it kills the beauty.
Her words have spoken & the soul carries truthfully.
In the arms of the road we cross over it.
The fire is within and never will I move or be upset.
In her soft voice at night she whispers to me.
Such beauty captivating has opened my heart to see.
Love Sonnet 9:
With cooling fans such beauty overtakes even a dove.
I will file your nails and teach temptation to love.
Desire is colored deeply it hits like strips of leather.
Breathtaking in the moment as it touches a feather.
Call the lilies to come in a ponderous sensual play.
Laid naked in petals & you’re covered in ways.
Carry the envy in my arms into the looms of a night.
Enchanting is the portray in a blissful lunar light.
An everlasting kiss touches your tasteful fruitful vine.
Taste the pulpous grape as it plays with the time.
The sun rises in rainy days and the moon will shine.
Streams of time parallel in rhyme will cross interline.
If it’s rain you want tease the clouds with a lustful cry.
Like fine wine tasting your body it pours to never dry.
Love Sonnet 10:
My love, I crave your taste like a summer’s morning.
So warm is your touch in your last countless pouring.
My hand is searching you in such endlessly memory.
It echoes upon like pictures displayed in a gallery.
The waters in my veins don’t tremble but are still.
Drink from me, no need to thirst to the nearest mill.
My love, crash into my soul and do not fear to enter.
Play with me as we chase each other I will not alter.
Into a summer’s sun will our love burn so endlessly.
Once trapped love did spring you out passionately.
Feel it as it moves you closer to my side forever.
Crossed the streams & we created a new river.
I hear your whispers softly calling me into the night.
Into your dream I’ve entered I can see heaven’s light.
Chapter 5 Love has fallen
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
Angelica why?
I danced with her in the lustful rain. She was my partner, not only in life but in crime. I cut all profits with her. Angelica why? Why did you jump in front of me? The gun was aimed at me; I didn’t ask you to die for me. She puts her fingers on my lips for silence and said.
Remember a few months back. We were walking at night from town. You saw those women selling themselves. You shouted out loud words to them. Half the women gave you hell for those words and the other half left crying. Then their pimp came and you told him to bring his mother out here and put her to work too.
They wanted to kill you that day. That’s when I knew, you were not born to spark the minds but to change them.
Angelica why?
Tears flowed down my eyes as her blood covers my hands; I hold on. Her breathing is weak. She says.
Isn’t it enough to know he saved you once.
Angelica, what are you talking about?
God saved you, when they came to kill you. You got shot with a shotgun. You don’t care if you live or die. I can not live alone and I can’t live without you.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
The day we met. She was running in the streets, the cops were chasing her. As they were searching for her she stopped right next to me. She asked, what time the next bus passes. She needed to get out of town and fast.
She saw a bus coming towards us. She pushed me into the bus and stood next to me and said.
What are you waiting for? Pay the fare, let’s go.
Angelica why?
Tears are flowing down my eyes and she says to me.
Do you remember when I asked you in the park that night to read to me the bible? I felt like that woman. She ran to him to clean herself of her sins. You said with her tears she washed his feet and with her hair she dried them. Then the last story you read to me.
No greater love there is, when you lay down you life for another. I’ll wait in paradise for you.
Foolish woman you believed?
Angelica why?
Grasping onto her life and she touches my tears and says.
I know you; that is why I did it. What irony, the greatest poet was given to the hands of sin.
I’m not great. Please, do not leave. Angelica! Wake up, don’t go and then she says to me.
You still can’t say it. Her last words to me were.
“I love you”
{TV broadcast}
Love that chicken from Popeye’s.
Breaking news; we interrupt you’re broadcast. We will return you to you’re daytime shows on NBC in just a moment. This just in, this is Jim Miller reporting. There has been a murder in the central west side of the city. Let’s turn it over to Mike Sanders standing at the scene. Mike, can you hear us?
Yes, I can you hear you Jim. Two men, reported to be in their late 20’s or early 30’s were brutally killed. So graphic the murders, our cameras are only allowed to show the victims facing down.
(Cards left on the floor)
As you can see blood covers all around the surrounding floor. Perhaps they were murdered while a game of cards was set to play. What has happened here is still unknown. Our reports are not clear. The motive is still to be determined.
But the police report this may possibly be gang related. Wait. They have confirmed; no I’m sorry. Wait. Yes, they have confirmed a drug deal gone bad. They have two suspects in their custody as we speak. A gun has been found.
(Signal is interrupted by a commercial)
Sorry folks were back. Mike, can you tells us again. We are experiencing technical difficulties.
Jim, I repeat again. A gun has been found. Stay tuned for further developments later in the six o’clock news. This is Mike Sanders reporting from 19 Street and Martin.
{Leaving San Antonio City Limits}
My eyes looking around, I see a lot of TV’s displayed for sell. I’m hiding at Best Buy.
[Store Clerk] Damn, what happen? It’s been on TV every hour on every local channel, I’ve seen today.
I don’t know sir, but how much for this TV set here?
Oh, the TV there is $499 with a one year warranty. We also offer a three year store warranty with the purchase. $99 dollars more if you choose to buy.
Ok, I’ll take it. Step over here and I’ll ring you up in the computer.
So what’s the plan?
Huh, what do you mean?
How are you going to pay? Cash, check or charge?
Oh, cash. I only want the TV. Don’t need the warranty. Here you go. Keep the change.
Do you need help to carry out the TV? No thanks, I got it. Ok, thank you for shopping at Best Buy and have a nice day.
As I walk out, I see my truck in a distance and some cars are passing by the parking lot. I open my door and press the button for the rear window to release. I set the TV inside and close the rear window.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
You see Angelica, No one is here. Bob left the door opened, and the alarm is off.
Ok Patricio, Open the doors and get the recording tapes. Remember, they keep two of them. So find the hidden VCR. Don’t want to be on Crime Stoppers for robbery. Don’t forget my smokes.
Ok Angelica, I’ll take the cartons of Newport’s for you. Get down Angelica. I see five-0 passing bye. Go hide over by the icebox. Let’s get what we need and go.
Get some mints and hot coco for our baby.
Huh? What baby Angelica?
Yes. Our baby, so get it for our baby. Damn it. Patricio, why are you acting so shock? I was going to tell you this morning. But I said to myself. I’ll tell him later. After we get what we need.
Woman, hurry up. Let’s go ok.
Did you get the tapes? Yes, I got them.Ok, break the safe on the floor. What you waiting for? You brought the stethoscope, right? Yes, I got it, move back a little. Place it in the corner then slowly turn the knob. Can you hear the click?
Angelica, I know what to do. Are you my babysitter?
Don’t give me hell, Patricio. You were really mean last night at Dunkin Donuts.
Yeah right, you were eating those damn Munchkins and I know why now. You were eating so much.
You don’t love me.
Damn! You don’t need to kick me on my back. I was only playing with you.
Hurry up and unlock the lock. It’s taking you longer to open them. So what are you going to buy me?
What do you mean buy you? You hater, don’t you ask me for anything tonight.
Angelica, it’s opened. Damn. They left a lot of money in this safe.
Get the bag Patricio. I got it Angelica.
I closed the bag and place it inside my backpack. And I said. What do you want? She says to me;
Don’t act like you did not hear me.
I know Angelica. Do I not always think of you first? When do I not ever think of you before me?
{TV broadcast}
We first start with late breaking news. Reports are in. Shammu is dead. Sea world will be closed for the rest of the week. Good evening. Thank you for tuning to KSAT 12 at 6 o’clock.
Murder at 19th street; it was thought and believed two men we’re responsible for the double murder. But they have been released from custody. The police department will not say more at this time. They will only say to us. They have come up with a suspect and they are piecing the puzzle together.
They will release more information as soon as they can to the press. Later two women were denied their rights. When they said we want to be married. Stay tuned.
{At Best Buy}
I open the door to my truck and stepped in. I turn the ignition
key and drove away. I’m 13 miles away from town. I see a sign. It reads stop. I pass the sign and another one appears. You’re now leaving the City of Windcrest.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
{The Party}
[Broken tooth] What’s the call, drop your cards.
[Left nut] Damn a pair.
[Jokes] Nothing, I fold. Do you Guys here that?
[Left nut] What?
[B-boy] Yes I got a full house.
[Broken tooth] Wait, not so fast I got a four of a kind.
[Left nut] Damn I’m out, go get us some more beers.
[Broken tooth] Damn Girl, you heard him move your ass.
He slaps her backside and she walks away mad.
The woman shouts. “You lazy bastards,” and walks to the refrigerator. She opens the door to the refrigerator. I cover her mouth at gun point. She is screaming with a silent whisper.
“Help”
Shut up. I say. As I covered her eyes with a bandana and sit her down with her hands tied behind the chair. I say to her. Say something again or move you’re dead! The woman is shaking her head saying no to me.
{At The Party}
[B-boy] What time is it?
[Jokes] You got a date that we don’t know about, chill out man.
[Left nut] Man you’re lame go call your sister to come over.
[Broken tooth] Bro, you’re cold.
[Left nut] I’m just messing with you, but for real call her.
I kick the door in, with a gun aimed at them.
[Broken tooth] Oh damn. (His hands up)
[Left nut] Don’t shoot, please don’t. (He is shaking)
[B-boy] What the hell is going on?
[Jokes] I don’t know you.
A bullet in the chamber for release and is points at my reason for it.
[Broken tooth] “No.”
His hands lifted in the air. His eyes are facing towards death. The bullet flies. The shells hit the ground for its comfort.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
At the park; it’s cold in a December night with no lights.
Patricio, Patricio, please wake up. Patricio, get the hell up! (Her hands pushing me)
Angelica what, I’m up? Do you believe what is said in The Bible?
What are you talking about?
Patricio, what you read to me. Thou shall not kill.
I’m not sure what you mean, Angelica.
Patricio, what do you think?
A kill is a kill, why?
Patricio, does it mean in revenge or anger.
Like I said, a kill is a kill.
I pray everyday for God to forgive me. What do you mean?
A Newport leaves my hand and she inhales. And she passes the port back to me.
I love you. But three months ago I lost our child.
What do you mean Angelica?
I was bleeding and I never told you that I lost our child.
(She is crying) It happened when I ran into town looking for you.
Angelica, I’m sorry. (I hold her in my arms)
Forgive me, for not telling you.
{At The Party}
“No.”
His face covered in blood. He falls off his chair and hits the floor.
[Left nut] I did not pull the trigger.
[B-boy] What gun? A wait a minute, I have no part in this.
[Jokes] Can I please leave; I don’t want to die today?
[Left nut] No, I swear it was not me.
I point at his heart in her memory. The bullet leaves the chamber and a gathering of shells are left upon the broken floor.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
New Year’s Eve and the stars seemed more flamboyant than fireworks. She rests her head on me and says do you love me? My replay was so slow from her thought. Angelica, it’s more than words. (Her teeth cling to my thigh) Why you bite me for Angelica?
Say I love you. My heart aches to hear your words. Don’t let the night go so unromantic. Say it before a star falls. Tonight, we hold each other under the moon light.
I would sing to you. If it would make you say the words I want to here. She sings with her heart pounding in my hand. The moment fades and then she falls asleep. I whisper words close to her ear and say. I love you as a star passes bye.
{At The Party}
I walk out the door and drop the handguns. There left on the ground.
[B-boy] Thank you, thank you.
[Jokes] I’m never going to be around you. Your parties are no fun man.
[B-boy] let’s get out of here!
[Jokes] yes, let’s go. Damn blood all over me. How the hell I’m going to get it off my clothes look at my shoes.
I walk thru the complex with a Newport on my left hand. In my deep pocket I reach for my lighter. I look back. While I light my memories. I head out to the cemetery.
(The stone read)
RIP
Angelica Paz
1975 to 1995
I would die for you. Your words I do remember. Angelica why? I can not die for you. I can’t die for you. (Tears of regret) I kneel at her stone. My hand is touching her memory. I scream out loud in tears. I love you. Angelica, I love you. As darkness comes I smoke my ports for many hours. My left hand throws the burnt bud.
Here my love I never forgot you. Just the way you loved it. A 12 pack of coke on ice with Hennessey set on the side. I remember the first night together Angelica. Seduction was the night underneath sheets. My back marked with your desire.
A cold night it was but so hot you looked, do you remember?
The tears are flowing down my eyes. I know, you were the one; I knew this in my heart as well in my mind.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
Wait Patricio. Hold on. Wait a minute.
(She pushes me with her knees)
I want you to look into my eyes when you’re with me.
(She reaches for my face)
Why you such in a hurry. I want to make love to you endlessly. (My fingers on her hair)
Whisper words to me. I know you want me. I see it in your eyes.
(Our lips kissing)
Feel my love eagerly wanting to flow and pour on you.
(I turned with laughter)
I lifted her up and my hands are holding on very strong and her legs around me.
Why you bite my lip for Angelica?
(She smiles)
I’ll make it hurt just as bad if you choose not to listen to me. (She bites my lip again)
Ok, ok Angelica. I’ll listen and do what you want.
(She gets on top of me)
With her hands she holds my hands and says I love you. The first woman to teach me what love is. Time stopped with it’s wanting tears of hope.
{At her Stone}
Your tears the way you felt. But it wasn’t your first time you had cried for me. It was a late Thursday. Some can say it was Friday morning.
{My mind in yesterday’s moments}
I was walking from town on my way down hooker’s lane and then. Bam, I guess someone hit me and knock me the hell out. I was looking from the floor and all was blurry and I slowly got up. A baseball bat I had stepped over it. I guess it was left behind for me.
My mind was trying to get some clarity. But the weird thing was I felt like I was on drugs. I was walking to your house. I walked up the porch. I saw the door and I.
(Knock)
Who is it? It’s me, open the door.
Do you know what time it is?
About 8 pm I believe, why Angelica?
No, its 4am in the morning. Patricio, what have you been doing?
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