Oil and Water
Joel Stephens
Published by Joel Stephens at Smashwords
Copyright 2012 Joel Stephens
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Table of Contents
Introduction to the Crusader Chronicles:
Chapter One: Grief
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we’d like to ask that you store your luggage in the overhead compartments in a timely manner. There is a storm gathering in our flight path this afternoon and we’d like to be off the ground as quickly as possible.”
The flight attendant, with her bleach blonde hair and artificially whitened teeth, was standing just a short distance ahead of where Paul Whitaker was supposed to sit. She was wearing a low cut blouse that drew the attention of most everyone that had boarded; it was obviously not a standard flight attendant outfit. He thought that it was probably one of the ways that the airline tried to cheer up the unhappy individuals on the plane once they were finished here. He glanced at his ticket to verify his seating arrangement and almost instantly realized that the flight attendant was taking her place in his row.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “This is my seat.”
“Oh,” she replied with an enormous grin; her teeth almost glowing in contrast to her deep red lipstick. “I’m so sorry, sir! I’ll just slip out this way.”
She pushed up against him, purposely if he had to guess, and he just waited patiently until she was free to move down the aisle. She thanked him and then moved toward the cockpit, stopping to check the overhead storage bins every once and again. Paul slipped into his spot and set his tote under the seat in front of him as was the custom on most airplanes. In all of his days of traveling, this jet was one of the smallest he had ever been on with only two seats on either side of the aisle. All in all it held about forty people. Paul had never been a fan of flying and now he was constantly feeling like he might throw up.
His eyes then fell on the empty seat to his left.
Just six days before, he had come to this small pacific island with his terminally ill wife, Mary Whitaker. At the airport in Honolulu she had told him she wanted the window seat as it made her feel like she was a bird enjoying the view that God gave them. Now, as other passengers shuffled down the aisle, he knew no one would be sitting next to him. His wife was on the plane, but she would be making the trip back to Hawaii in the cargo hold; tucked safely inside a coffin that had been made by the locals.
Across the aisle, as passengers continued to work toward the front of the plane, Paul saw an elderly woman pushing her things into the row and taking her place away from the window, just like he had done. She had curly gray hair and her face was a fine web of aging skin, mixed into a clever mask that hid the young and vibrant soul within the body.
The woman’s name was Susan Daniels. She, like Paul’s wife, was dying.
During their stay on the island, Mary and Susan had communicated several times, but Paul had tried to avoid the conversations of death and mortality as best he could. He hadn’t come to this small tropical island to learn about death. He had traveled those thousands of miles and spent those thousands of dollars to prevent it. He saw her face move and knew he’d looked at her too long. She recognized his face and tried to lean over to talk to him but thankfully the shuffling passengers were still in her way.
He was glad. He already knew what she was going to ask.
Most of the people on this plane were sick or dying. This chartered flight was specifically meant to carry diseased or dying individuals to the village of Kaydaz on this malnourished atoll. None of them were here for vacations or for pleasure. Instead, they had been drawn here by the reputation of one woman. A woman, that many believed, could cure the sick.
“Where is Mary?” asked Susan, having waited until the passengers were all aboard; she now had a clear shot of Paul’s face.
He didn’t really know how to respond. He tried to grin as a nonchalant way to tell her what was burning inside of his heart, but he couldn’t find the strength to twist his mouth upward. There was no need to rush in giving his response. The longer he waited, the more he saw realization dawning on Susan’s face. Finally, she slipped back and said, “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” Paul said quietly.
“Will you have family waiting in Hawaii?” she asked.
Paul shook his head. “No, I’m from Florida. We had been living in Texas the last few years. I’ll fly back there first and then get everything arranged.”
“Did you come here to see… her?”
Paul laughed. “I didn’t come here for that scam artist; Mary did.”
“That’s why I came too,” said Susan.
“Mary wasn’t healthy enough…” he choked on his words. “She shouldn’t have come here.”
“We all feel that way now,” replied Susan lightly, “but imagine if she had been cured. Wouldn’t that have been wonderful?”
“I don’t live in a dream world.”
“It would have been a miracle,” said Susan with a nod.
“Well, thanks to Madame Rooshka, we won’t be seeing any miracles. Mary spent the last of her energy flying all the way out here and it cost her life in the end. I have half a mind to sue the healer for everything she has.”
“You should,” said Susan with a grin, “as long as she really is a scam.”
“How can you still doubt it after that stunt she pulled on us? We all flew out here to get some kind of healing. We all paid thousands of dollars to see Madame Rooshka do her stuff. Now look at us, we’re a group of disgruntled people who got nothing. She didn’t even pretend to help us.”
Susan was silent for a long moment but then looked Paul straight in the eyes. “The night that we went to see Madame Rooshka and she turned us all away, she called your wife over to her for a minute. What in the world did she say?”
Paul thought about this. He was unaware that Susan had seen the brief conversation. “I wish I knew,” he barked out. “Whatever she said it seemed to suck that last bit of life out of my wife. That much I know for sure.”
“You didn’t ask Mary what they talked about?”
“No.”
The truth of the matter was that he had asked. Only now, in hindsight, did he wish that Mary had actually given him a better response than the casual dismissal that she had. During the last year of their lives together, Paul and Mary had done a lot of research on Rooshka and her supposed healing powers. Each and every time they came into contact with someone that had met the healer, they could only praise her for their continued lives. From all angles, it looked like this Rooshka was the real deal. Even still, when Mary had finally proposed that they come to this island, he hadn’t felt up to it.
“Come on,” she had said, “what if she can heal me? What if I could live for another two years just by seeing this woman? Don’t you think that it’s worth it?”
He agreed that night to calm his wife’s energy, but he refused to believe that the healer would be able to help. Then, after they had traveled, after they had worked so hard to get here, they had been brought before Madame Rooshka with a dozen others and every one of them was turned away. The woman dared only to say that she could not help them for their fate was already sealed.
He had been absolutely fuming after that charade. Then, as Mary had turned to leave, the healer had reached out and taken her arm, pulling her close for just a brief moment. The two exchanged a few words, and then Mary stepped away with a very grim look on her face.
“What did she say?” he asked sharply when Mary had returned to his side.
“Do you really care?”
He shook his head and rolled his eyes at the same time to put emphasis on how little he actually cared about anything that he had just been through.
“I’ll take that as a no,” she said. “Come on, I’m tired.”
Less than forty-eight hours later, Mary was dead.
Rooshka had been his wife’s last hope of survival. When she lost that, she was stripped of any final defenses against the disease that was eating away at her. Even now, just recalling the memories; he saw Rooshka as a murderer. She was the reason Mary was dead and now she had thousands of his dollars to her name as well.
“You really didn’t ask?” pressed Susan, clearly distraught by the news.
“I didn’t.” he lied.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know,” he said, trying to look mournful.
“Do you think the healer was just telling us the truth? That we were all too sick to heal?”
“No,” he snapped. “I don’t think she heals anyone. We just got scammed Susan, that’s all there is to it. My wife is dead, you’re not healed, and life continues. The only difference is we all go home with a little less money in our pockets.”
“What do you mean?” asked Susan. “My money was already refunded to my account.”
“It was?”
“Yes, she didn’t heal so she didn’t charge.”
“Well,” he mused, “That might make me feel better if I didn’t already know this trip was what spent the last of my wife’s energy. I wonder how much Mary’s life is worth to Rooshka.”
Susan looked like she might respond but the plane started to roll toward the end of the long runway that would it would use for takeoff. As the engines wound up and slowed down, Paul was reminded of how much he hated flying. He had learned to deal with the pressure of travel because of his job. He had learned to enjoy it somewhat because of Mary’s desire to travel. Now, with his wife in a casket and stress swirling all around him, Paul wanted to just close his eyes and fall asleep. The plane made the turn at the end of the runway and then started its main takeoff. The sensation was always the same, a rapid acceleration, the feeling of being thrown up in the air, and the feeling of being dangerously suspended in the air that would follow for hours on end as the plane navigated the skies toward its next destination. When Mary was in the seat next to him she would hold his hand and remind him that he was safe.
Today he had no such comfort.
“This is your captain speaking,” the pilot’s familiar voice echoed thorough the passenger cabin, “it looks like we’re going to be heading through a pretty big storm today. I’m going to go ahead and ask that everyone keeps their seatbelts on for the first couple hours of the trip. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. I wouldn’t let that worry you though, always remember that turbulence is perfectly normal. I’ll have us through it in no time.”
As though on cue, the plane immediately started to bump back and forth. At first it was only a slight nudge here or there, but it started to get worse; with increasing frequency. When the plane appeared to be leveling out, a terrible dropping sensation would pull at Paul’s gut and then they’d slam into another pocket of air that rattled the entire airplane.
It was a gut wrenching ride that was only made worse when something outside of the cabin made a horrible popping sound. Everything in the cabin started to vibrate and Paul saw his small drink rippling up and over the edge of the plastic cup it was in. There was another moment of peace and then another thud caused Paul to clench his hands tightly around his seat handles. He pinched his eyes shut and waited until the last bit of turbulence faded away.
“Hello again,” said the voice over the speakers, “this is the pilot speaking. Well, I had hoped to be able to punch through the storm today but it seems like we’re having some problems with one of our engines. I’m going to divert us toward Kwajalein so that we can get on the ground and wait this thing out. Our new course is taking us out of the high winds and the turbulence should be leveling out soon.”
Paul, feeling very nervous by now, was looking around the plane’s cabin with increased duress. A fear could easily be amplified by external conditions and a rocky plane trip through a strong pacific storm was more than enough to do that.
That was when he noticed it…
Susan, the old man with the funny hat next to her, and the woman with the metallic purse a few aisles away from him; he had seen them all before. They had all been with his wife that night at Madame Rooshka. The night she’d sent them away because their fate was already sealed.
“No,” he muttered aloud. “This can’t be…”
Susan looked over her seat and saw Paul’s face white with fear. She leaned over and took his hand, freezing as it was, into her own. “Paul,” she said calmly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m not ready,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Ready for what?”
“To die,” he said bluntly.
“Oh,” she replied with a lopsided grin, “the pilot just said…”
The plane jerked violently and Paul felt the sensation that the ground had just slipped out from beneath him. He knew that feeling was silly as they weren’t on the ground to begin with, but none the less, the plane had changed directions…downward. He violently slashed out with his arms and started to scream as he closed his eyes tightly and tried to block out the horror of what was happening.
Then, the feeling was gone.
He felt like he was no longer flying. He was shaking, covered in sweat, and he was in total darkness. The roar of the plane engine, the screams from the passengers; it was all gone. Instead, when he opened his eyes again he discovered that he was in a dimly lit room. It took him a moment as he looked around before he recognized it at all. When it finally came together in his head he nearly panicked. He was in the old guest room of his parent’s home in Florida. He tried to calm himself down as he sat there but whatever fear of flying he had suppressed over the last few years he was now being forced to reconsider. In the meantime, he was still perplexed about the room he was resting in. His parents had sold this house not long after he and Mary had moved to Texas. Unless they had bought it back recently, he wasn’t sure why he would be here.
He started to slip out of bed and froze in place when the bedroom doorway swung open and Paul saw a familiar face step into the room.
“Mary?” he gasped.
She looked at him and smiled with the pearly white teeth that he had always loved. “What’s up, hubby?”
Paul looked her over and saw that she was wearing a skimpy nightgown that someone had bought for her at a bridal shower. Paul hadn’t seen her wear in years.
“This isn’t right,” he said loudly. “Who are you?”
“Oh, it’s too late now,” she said with a giggle, “We’re hitched now!”
Her voice was young and full of life. This wasn’t the weak and sick Mary from a few weeks before; this was his wife when he had first married her. She was healthy and her skin was alive with color. He was overjoyed to see her; he was overjoyed and terrified.
“I’m dreaming,” he said to himself.
“What makes you say that?” she asked.
“I have to be. I’m here with you, in this house. It’s impossible.”
“That’s sweet,” she said with another giggle. “I love you too.”
“No Mary, I’m serious… you’re dead.”
Chapter Two: Denial
Paul’s statement seemed to have an undesired effect on his wife.
Mary suddenly got rather serious and stepped over to him. She put her hand to his forehead and then whistled slightly. “You’re burning up honey. You must have had one powerful nightmare.”
“It wasn’t a nightmare,” he said. “Something isn’t right.”
Mary shook her head and then stood up. “Okay, I don’t know if you’re going for something here or what. We just got back from a great honeymoon and things have been awesome. You had a bad dream and now you’re going to say this is a dream? Are you trying to say you don’t love me?”
“No,” Paul mumbled. “I do love you. I just… wait; our honeymoon?”
“Yeah,” Mary said with a sarcastic grin. “You know; that amazing week we spent in Miami?”
“Yeah,” he replied. “I remember it.”
“Oh good,” she snapped, clearly growing aggravated with his behavior. “For a minute I was worried that was a dream too!”
“Mary,” he pleaded as best he could. “I’m sorry honey; I’ve just had the most unreal experience. I…I guess it was all just a horrible dream.”
He knew he was lying, but right now he wanted to lie. What else was he going to say? How could he explain to his wife that he had just watched her die a few days ago? Could years upon years of life really have been a dream? They had married ten years ago from what he remembered of it. There was no way this could all be a dream.
Or could it?
His head was suddenly clogged with a million questions that he didn’t have the slightest answer to but the longer he saw his wife the more he wanted to brush it all away.
“So what was this dream about, anyway?” she asked.
“I was on a plane,” he said, “it felt so real.”
“A plane?” she asked. “You hate flying. Now you should know it was a dream.”
He looked at her and tried to convey how confused he was but he could tell she wasn’t getting any of it. Of course she wouldn’t; he wasn’t able to see this from her angle. He slowly stood and reached out to her. She gave a gentle smile and then came over and let herself wrap around his waist. It felt so real; she felt so real.
“It was just a bad dream,” he said to himself. “It was all a bad dream.”
“Well,” she said with a smile. “Now that you’re back up and awake, can you do me a favor?”
Still feeling hazy he nodded. “What can I do for you, honey?”
“I need you to go get some stuff from the grocery store,” she said. “We’ve got our Christmas party tomorrow and I haven’t got everything I need for food.”
At first he thought he might try weaseling out of the errands but he realized the time alone might be a chance to think. Dream or no dream, losing your loved one and then waking to have them back in your arms was a lot to think about. So, he agreed to her request and started getting ready.
In his bedroom he found several pairs of pants and when he pulled one of them from the closet he almost laughed. They were a thirty-two inch waist. He hadn’t worn that size in over five years; or so he had thought. He pulled them up and found that they fit exactly as they should. He sighed heavily and pulled a shirt on over his chest. When he headed for the front door he saw Mary smiling at him again and he felt his heart race.
“Goodbye, my love,” she said as he opened the door.
His hand froze. That was exactly what she had said to him on his deathbed. Cautiously, he looked over his shoulder and saw her waiting there, a confused lopsided grin on her face as she waited for him to leave.
“You sure you’re okay?” she finally asked.
“Yeah,” he replied nervously. “I’m fine.”
After the strange encounter at his home, Paul headed down to Canal Street, the historical road that had long served as the main hub for activity in this old Florida town. They had installed small speakers every so often that played old time music and advertised for the little drug store that had been open for over a hundred years on the corner street. In the years before they had moved to Texas, Mary and Paul had come down to Canal Street on several occasions just to talk and have a relaxing walk.
When he walked up to the corner store business and saw it with his own eyes he had to once again shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. He had known for a fact that the drug store had been destroyed by some crazy kids who set fire to it one night after he and Mary had made their move. His dad had called him in Texas to tell him all about it. Now though; standing in front of him was that same little store, perfectly fine and open for business. He glanced down at his shopping list and suddenly felt like he needed a little more time.
He vaguely remembered all of this, though it wasn’t quite coming in clear anymore, and he turned away from the store so that he could continue down the street. Just as he did that, he caught sight of someone he would have never seen in the small town before.
It was Susan Daniels, the woman from the plane; the woman that had held his hand before all of this had started. He immediately moved toward her and when she saw him she too smiled and headed his way. When he saw her joyful reaction at spotting him he suddenly hesitated. If this were a dream or nightmare going toward Susan might trigger some kind of event. He had learned about it in his college classes over a decade ago; about how the mind sometimes used dreams to deal with traumatic events. This all had to do with the death of his wife, of that he was certain. Now his subconscious was trying to reach out to him through the familiar face of the woman that had sat next to him on the plane.
Speaking to Susan meant he’d have to admit that this all may just be a dream.
He thought about this for a long moment and then it was too late. She was already within arm’s reach and she looked like her excitement would spill over.
Chapter Three: Anger
“Hello Paul,” Susan said, “it’s good to see you again.”
“Susan,” he replied, “What’s going on?”
“You don’t know?”
“I have no idea,” he said with his frustration building. “We were on a plane together and…”
“How long ago?” she asked.
He was shocked by her sudden question but he tried to think it through. “It couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes ago.”
“So, you just woke up. Here; now?”
“Yes,” he said with a nervous laugh, “How did you get here?”
“I’m just passing through,” she said nonchalantly.
“Passing through? What does that even mean?”
“I’m going somewhere that you shouldn’t go,” she replied. “Not until you’re ready.”
“What do you mean?”
Susan ignored his question and handed him a newspaper that she was holding. She pointed to the date in the corner and he recognized it as December 16, 2002.
“I’m aware of the time difference,” he said. “I know what year it was on the plane and I know what year it is now. You were on the plane with me and now you’re here too. That has to mean something, right?”
“It does.”
“My wife is back at home waiting for me. If you’re here though, that means she’s dead.”
“No Paul,” she said. “It was 2012 on the plane. Your wife’s death happens in 2012. If we were on the plane in 2012 and this paper says 2002, that means your wife is going to die. It just hasn’t happened yet.”
“Are you trying to tell me I’ve time traveled?” he asked with a serious concern growing in his gut. “Is that seriously what you’re trying to tell me?”
He glared at her, but she didn’t respond to his question.
“Mary is here?” Susan asked.
“Yes, she’s back home,” he replied, irritated he had to answer her again. “If that date is correct, we just got back from our honeymoon yesterday.”
“So, why are you here?”
“What?”
“You wife,” said Susan. “You need to go to her.”
“My wife is dead.”
“Yes, in 2012 your wife dies. We’ve covered that.”
“We’ve covered this too,” said Paul angrily. “I’m dreaming all of this. I must have hit my head on the plane or something.”
Susan shook her head. “I’m sorry Paul. I wish I could help more, but I can’t stay here much longer. Go to Mary and spend time with her. The answer to your questions will come in time.”
“Where is it you need to go?” he asked.
“When you’re ready,” she said, “you’ll see.”
He shook his head and turned away for a moment while he thought of another question to ask. When he finally decided to just chew her out he came back to face her and was shocked to find that she was gone. He looked up and down the street but it appeared that Susan had simply vanished.
He turned away from the scene and he was fuming. He never went to the grocery store, instead heading straight back home with the intention of throwing something. Susan had to have just been a mental blip on his memory.
When he marched through the front door he saw Mary jump back in surprise.
“You’re back quick,” she said.
“I ran into an old friend,” he replied. “Susan Daniels.”
For a moment, nothing more than a brief moment, he saw Mary’s face change.
“Who is that?” she asked innocently.
“You don’t know her?” he pressed.
“Name seems familiar,” Mary said. “So did you get the groceries?”
“No.”
Her eyes squinted. “Okay, listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you but could you at least grab your dad’s present from under the tree. I want to get it ready for him.”
“Sure,” Paul said as he moved toward the Christmas tree. “When is he coming?”
“He’ll be here in an hour or so.”
Paul reached the tree and leaned down to grab his father’s present when he came to an abrupt halt. His eyes were locked on an ornament he had never seen before. It was a plane; but not just any plane. It was the exact same plane that he had been on when he had left the island with Mary’s body in a coffin.
His head was suddenly throbbing and he nearly collapsed to the ground.
“Paul,” Mary asked. “Honey, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I don’t know,” he said. He was feeling very lightheaded and he started to move toward her when he lost his footing. He fell face first and thought for sure he was going to slam down on the cold hard tile of the living room floor.
Instead, he came down face first into the soft beach sand.
Chapter Four: Bargaining
The sand was warm and he stayed there for a moment to help recover from the fact that he had completely expected to land on a different surface all together. He used his hands to feel around him and then, only when his head had stopped throbbing, he rolled over to see the red-blue sky of a typical Florida night. Standing a short distance away from him was Mary.
She was atop a sand dune, wearing a beautiful red sundress and that same lopsided grin on her face. Paul was slightly taken aback, as he had seen her wearing that sundress just two days before, when she had been placed in her coffin for the trip back to the United States. It was then that he recognized her face. She was no longer the young woman he had just left behind in the house. Now she was older and she looked like she had in that final year of their relationship.
“Oh Paul,” she said as she moved over and brushed him off. “Are you okay?”
“No,” he replied. “I think I’m sick.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I was just…” He bit his tongue. In his pocket he felt a large jewelry box and he immediately knew where he was. This was their first year anniversary. He was bringing her out here to watch the sun rise and give her a beautiful diamond necklace. They would end up selling it nine years later to get the money for their visit to Madame Rooshka, but for this moment it was here; stuffed in his pocket and ready to be put on his wife for the very first time.
“You are too old,” he found the words and they came out before he could rephrase them.
“I’m sorry?” she asked.
“It’s been about a year since we were first married,” he said. “You’re too old to be a memory from this time period. My memory got it wrong again.”
“I know that,” she replied. “Do you know why we’re here?”
He nodded. “We came here because I wanted to spend a beautiful day with my wife.”
Mary was grinning. “You gave me this necklace.”
Paul hadn’t noticed it until she had gestured to her neck, but when she did he saw the diamond necklace hanging against her skin. His hand instinctively went to his pocket where he felt the box he had kept the necklace in until he had given it to her that night. When he looked to her she tilted her head and then moved and arm for him to follow. She pointed toward the water and there he saw his wife, a much younger version of his wife, resting atop a picnic blanket.
He turned back to Mary for a moment and then looked back to the woman on the beach.
“Mary,” he said, “what’s going on?”
“Do you remember what happened while we were here?”
“You got a call,” he said quietly. “Your father had passed away.”
“That’s right.”
“So that’s you standing over there,” he said as though it was dawning on him now.
“It is,” she said.
“If that’s you over there,” he said. “Then how are you in front of me?”
Mary smiled. “She needs you, Paul. I need you.”
Paul looked over his shoulder. “This is…” When he looked back the older, more familiar version of his wife was gone. “This is crazy.”
He started out toward the picnic blanket and tried to recall what he could of this event. His memory had always been fuzzy when it came to her father. He had not known him very well when he had dated Mary. His eventual death had not had the deep impact for him that it had for Mary. That terrible memory would not come for a few more years.
He walked over to her and did the first thing that he had remembered doing when he had lived this out the first time. He embraced her tightly and immediately felt her grab at him in response. Her tears flowed like a small stream down her cheeks and she shoved her face into his shoulder; sobbing and gasping for air every few moments. The first time he had been in this situation he had felt awkward and confused. Now he had learned the value of human life. His embrace was true and meaningful and he too started to cry. When he had watched Mary die on that small island, there had been no one there to hold him. There had been nothing there to console him.
Behind him, he heard his wife’s voice again, a voice separate from the sobbing. “Death is painful for those left in its wake. I hurt for a long time after daddy died.”
He looked up and saw the older version of his wife standing there. She was still dressed in the beautiful sundress that she had worn the day she died. While she was dressed as she had been at the time of her death, she still looked healthy, as if she might have looked if the healer Rooshka had done what she was supposed to.
“I didn’t know,” he said to the older Mary. “I had no idea how badly it hurt.”
She nodded slightly. “You know now.”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he just turned his attention back to the weeping woman curled up in his arms. He took comfort in knowing that as challenging as this had been, the entire event had only strengthened his relationship with his wife. They had come out of the funeral and the sadness better prepared for the future.
“Hold me tighter,” the crying Mary pleaded through tears, “just hold me.”
“I will never let you go,” he said.
“Until death do you part,” the older version of Mary said from behind them.
A terrible feeling swept over Paul as he held his wife; it was a sweeping hopelessness that pulled at something deep inside his heart. It felt as though something was tugging at his very soul.
The beach scene vanished and with it his crying wife faded into the darkness. In the blink of an eye, Paul was resting in a green lawn with the summer sun beating down on him. His head was pounding from the event but he got up and turned to see that he was in the front yard of his first home in Texas. The bright blue wood paneling was impossible to forget. Before he could even move, he noticed Mary on the front porch. She was still dressed in the familiar sun dress and was somehow separate from the changes that were happening all around him.
“Do you remember this place?” she asked.
“Our first home,” he replied. “We only lived in it for a year.”
“Do you remember why we left?”
“You think I could forget?” he asked. “You were pregnant. We lost the child.”
“It was devastating,” she said in agreement.
“Today was the day I found out,” he said. “The doctor had just told me. You, or Mary, I mean we were concerned because the baby wasn’t kicking, but we held on to hope.”
“You weren’t as hopeful as I was,” Mary said plainly.
“No,” he conceded. “I was too wrapped up in myself to see that then.”
“We were going to name him Everett,” said Mary. “Do you remember?”
Paul could feel the tears forming in his own eyes. “I do.”
The death of his unborn child had eaten away at Paul for three years of their time together. He had mourned and he had even teetered on the idea that the child hadn’t survived because of something Mary had done wrong. He shook his head and looked at the woman standing in the yard with him.
Anger was the last thing on his mind now. “This is the day I found out,” he said. “Today is the day I fix it.”
“What?” asked Mary, suddenly looking concerned, “What do you mean?”
“I can fix the mistakes I made. I can live my life with you to the fullest. We’ll get you to a doctor sooner than we did the first time. They’ll be able to help. We won’t waste thousands of dollars on the healer or her scam. If I start now, if I fix these things, then I can change things.”
“No,” said Mary with a saddened stare. “Paul, that’s not what this is about.”
“Mary, I have a chance to save you. I can save you!”
“Paul, stop,” she said angrily. “You can’t save me Paul, I’m already dead.”
“No, you’re not dead yet,” he rebutted. “You’re inside this house waiting for me to come home from work and tell you about our son. I can make things different.”
“This isn’t about me, Paul,” Mary continued, moving to stop Paul from going inside. “This is about you. I’m here to help you. I’m here to make sure you’re ready.”
“Ready for what?” he demanded.
“For what happens next,” she said coldly.
“Well, what happens next?” he asked.
“I can’t tell you,” she said, her voice sounding concerned. “Once you understand. Then, you’ll be ready. We don’t have time to talk about foolish things. This day was important because it was the day I turned to God for help. I turned to Him for strength to get through this.”
“So?” he asked. “Maybe God has given me this chance to save you. I’m here, right?”
Mary sighed. “I needed you to remember, Paul.”
“I remember just fine,” he said. “Now I’m going to use this opportunity. I’m going to change things and make them right.”
“You can’t bargain with this,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
Paul didn’t hear her. He was determined to make a change. Though his entire mind was warped by what was happening to him, he felt like he had to try. He had to save her. The very moment that he crossed over the threshold he felt a terrible pain in his head and nearly collapsed to the floor.
Chapter Five: Depression
He reached out and grabbed a wall as the world he knew twisted around him like he was suddenly caught up in a hurricane. When the world finally stopped spinning he took a few deep breaths and then opened his eyes to find himself standing in a hospital room.
He stepped forward and gasped when he came around the corner to see his own father. The wall calendar showed it was Christmas day 2010. It was the day that his father had died. The same day that his wife had collapsed in the hospital lobby and been diagnosed with the rare disease that was killing her.
“Paul,” his father whispered. “You’re back.”
“Yes,” he replied. “I’m here.”
“Did you talk to the doctor?” he asked.
“I did. They said… they said it doesn’t look good.”
“Well,” his father mused, “I guess that’s that.”
“What?” asked Paul.
“We all die sooner or later,” his father replied. “Losing sight of this world isn’t so bad, son. In a way it let me prepare for what comes next.”
“You mean death?”
“Death is just a process,” his father said. “It’s what happens after I’m dead.”
“You mean heaven?”
“I certainly hope so,” his father said with a slight chuckle. “Life everlasting, Paul. I’ve carried this cancer around longer than the doctors ever thought I would. I’ve had plenty of time to get my affairs in order. I think I’m ready to accept this.”
Paul jerked backward slightly, quickly regaining his composure in front of his dying father.
“You’re ready to accept what?” he asked.
“I’m ready to die,” his father. “I’m ready to leave this world.”
“How can you be ready…”
“Because I know it’s not the end; it’s just the beginning. Son, I want to talk to you about Jesus Christ. I know you have avoided it for a long time, but today I want you to listen to me and listen well. Do that for me before I die...”
“Dad,” said Paul, “Dad I…”
The room began to spin again, his heart surged with pain as his father was pulled away from him just as quickly as he had the first time around. The pain in his head wasn’t so powerful this time around, and when the spinning stopped again, he found himself standing in front of the big downtown church in Shiloh. It was the only place that was big enough to house all the mourners who had come to see his father’s funeral.
It was January 4, 2011, Paul’s thirty-third birthday.
“Do you remember this day?” the voice asked; the familiar voice of Mary. It hit him like ice on the back of his neck. He turned see her standing there in the midst of his memory. Though the air was cold and lifeless, she was still wearing her final outfit. The red sun dress and the sun tanned skin looked out of place in this bleak thought, but her presence still gave him a slight comfort. She came over to his side and they both looked down on the sidewalk where a bible was resting, tattered and torn.
“I dropped it,” Paul said as he tried to wipe away the tears in his eyes. “This was my father’s bible. I dropped it on my way inside and it landed in the mud just before some kid in a fancy car ran over it. It was completely destroyed.”
Paul looked over his shoulder and saw the ghostly form of a younger Mary from his memory. She was already looking pale and sickly from the intense treatments for her disease as she stood looking out at him from the foyer.
“Do you remember what happened next?”
“This was the day I asked God for forgiveness.”
“The day you were saved,” said Mary. “It was an important day.”
“You came out to talk to me about it. We both cried together.”
“I was so glad.”
“Me too,” he said quietly.
Again, Mary didn’t respond. Paul wasn’t sure that she could. When he went to say something he felt the area around him slip back into a terrible spin that made his stomach feel like it might rebel. When it faded, he found himself inside the Honolulu airport.
He looked around at all the busy people and he caught sight of his wife, looking colorless and frozen. This wasn’t the same woman that had been following him, but it was like a memory of his love before they had boarded the plane to see the healer. He quickly moved over to her and helped her put on her jacket. She thanked him and then looked at his worried face.
“It’s okay you know,” she said. “If this doesn’t work; it’s okay.”
“You’ll die if this doesn’t work,” he said as calmly as he could. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t be losing me forever,” she replied. “I’ll be waiting for you in heaven.”
“You keep saying that,” he replied. “God wouldn’t have let you suffer like this.”
“God didn’t let me suffer,” she replied sternly. “You know better than that, Paul.”
“Do I?” he asked. “Well, by all means, let God off the hook.”
“Will you be coming to meet me?” she asked, sounding very grim.
“If you mean a plot in the ground,” he said. “Then yes.”
“Paul, it’s not funny,” she said coolly, “we’ll have a life together again someday.”
“If he’s real,” said Paul with a raised finger. “Then why are we going to see Madame Rooshka?”
“God didn’t tell me not to see the healer,” said Mary. “If he had, we wouldn’t be here now.”
Paul smiled. “Convenient.”
Mary tilted her head. “Would you rather us fly back home? If this is some test of faith and me going to see Madame Rooshka means that I do not believe in God; I will gladly stay right here to prove my faith. What about that? Is that what you want?”
“No,” he replied, “I’m sorry.”
Paul stepped away for a moment and found the other Mary, the one who had been following him through these flashes. Seeing that his wife was comfortable he moved over to where this new arrival she was standing.
“Your words were powerful,” she said when he arrived. “I seriously contemplated not going.”
“I was angry,” he said.
“At who?” she asked.
“At God,” he replied. “God should have helped us.”
“Is it our place to tell God what He should or should not do? He gave us salvation. Isn’t that more powerful that a few more years on Earth?”
Paul felt a twisted feeling in his gut. He knew his wife was right. He just didn’t know how to admit it. He had never turned his back on God, he had never wanted to. He had been too busy shaking his fists in rage.
“I suppose it isn’t my place to tell God what to do.”
She smiled. “Progress.”
As though on cue, the room started spinning again. This time, Paul had almost gotten used to it. When a shaking feeling started to rock him, he got panicked. A distant screeching made his heart beat faster and he thought something must be happening that was even worse than everything he had already been through. Then, it stopped just like it had before and he found himself inside Madame Rooshka’s small ceremonial chamber. He was seated off to the side where the healthy people watched to see the healer do her work. There, just as he remembered it, was a group of sick people who were looking for healing; his wife included.
“I cannot help you,” said Madame Rooshka loudly. “I am so sorry.”
The people moaned and grew nervous when they were shot down. Paul, feeling the surge of anger that he had felt the night he originally witnessed this, decided that he wasn’t going to let it happen twice without saying something.
He walked out onto the ceremonial floor and right up to the healer.
“What’s wrong with you?” He asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“You took our money, you let us come out here, and then you turn us away! Why?”
“Like oil and water,” she said calmly. “That is how you must feel. You’ve been pushed deep under the surface; but like it or not you’re making your way back to the moment of truth…”
Paul raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure what the healer was talking about. “I asked you a question. I don’t think that was the answer I was looking for.”
“I could not help you that night,” Rooshka replied. “I cannot help you now.”
“That night?” asked Paul. “Tonight is that night.”
“A memory,” she said. “I’m sorry. I cannot help you.”
Chapter Six: Acceptance
Before he could speak again, the room slipped into darkness. This time though, there was no spinning or a new scene to replace the old. Instead, he was left standing in a room of darkness with nothing around him. Then, he heard someone step toward him and twisted around to see Mary.
“What is this?” he asked.
“Time is almost up,” she said. “I can’t keep you here anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you want to know what Rooshka told me that night?” she asked, ignoring him.
“No.”
“She told me I’d be dead in two days; you would be dead in four.”
“What?” Paul asked, feeling shocked by her statement. “What would she say that for?”
“That was why she couldn’t help us,” said Mary. “The whole group that was there that night; they are the same group that got on the plane with you to leave for Hawaii.”
Paul suddenly remembered the people he had seen on the plane and he knew it to be true. “So she knew that we would die on the plane. So, I’m dead?”
Mary shook her head. “You are on the plane.”
“I’m still on the plane?”
“Yes.”
“So all of this…”
“Like Rooshka said, you are like oil on water,” Mary said calmly. “I pulled you under the surface, pulled you down to show you some of the most important parts of your life, but you’ve been pulled back toward reality as we’ve gone along. I can’t keep you here any longer.”
“So you’re telling me that I’m still sitting on the plane. That this isn’t real?”
“It was all real. It was all part of your life.”
“What about you? Are you real?”
Mary nodded.
“How are you here?” he asked. “How could you be here if you died two days ago?”
“I borrowed a little time to share with you.”
“Why?” he asked.
“I wanted you to remember. I wanted you to remember it all before you were on your way back.”
“My way back to what?”
“Soon, you’re going to be in the company of someone very important. I wanted you to remember why.”
“Who are you talking about?”
Mary did not answer.
He waited a few moments and nothing happened. He felt suspended in darkness with her looking over him with a somewhat concerned face.
“So, what happens now?” He finally asked.
“We say goodbye,” she replied.
“Will I ever see you again?”
She sighed. “Can you not answer that question yourself?”
“I…”
“I’m sorry, Paul. Our time is up.”
He didn’t get the chance to speak. The next thing he knew he was holding onto his seat for dear life as the loud screaming of a jet engine threatened to deafen him. He instinctively reached for the oxygen mask that was dangling in front of his face and he looked around as he tried to get his bearings right. All of the memories, the journey he had taken, had dislodged him for a moment but now he was remembering the final moments he had with Susan on the plane. He remembered the turbulence, that an engine had gone out, and that the storm was rocking them wildly. He looked across the aisle and saw Susan; see looked almost happy with the whole situation. The falling plane bucked to the left and the oxygen mask slipped from his hands. He grabbed the armrests to stop himself from flying out of his seat while they continued to plummet toward the dark ocean below.
Then, he heard Susan’s voice as she started to shout. “Fear thou not, for I am with thee. Be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee, I will help thee, I will uphold thee…”
The thundering cries of the jet engine that struggled to keep them in the air drowned out the rest of Susan’s statement and Paul started to reach for the oxygen mask one more time. The plane twisted again and a strange heat seemed to lick against his skin. A moment later, he realized the engine wasn’t making any noise. His heart felt like it was going to burst. He knew that they had only one engine when the turbulence had started. Now, the horrible feeling of free fall took him by force. He still held tightly to his armrests but his mind was racing at a million thoughts a second.
Suddenly, he felt a hand set down on his and he looked to the left to see a figure that he could not quite describe. The figure’s form was without a true definition, as though his mind could not grasp the details of what he was seeing. The only thing that he could clearly see were the physical wounds on the hand that now rested atop his own.
“Who are you?” he asked without thought.
“I Am that I Am,” a voice replied.
Paul felt tears running down his face, realizing now that he was seeing the very Christ that he had grown so angry with since Mary’s sickness had dragged on. This was what Mary had meant; he stood in the presence of the Lord God almighty.
“My God,” he said through his sobs. “I’m so sorry. I failed you, God. When my wife became sick I thought you should save her. When she only got worse, I started to doubt you. I was so angry. I forgot that you already had saved her.”
“Paul, on the day that you held your father’s bible, the day that you asked for me to enter your life; I cleansed you and forgave you for all your sins. Through me; you found salvation.”
“You still forgive me even though I made all of those mistakes?”
“You asked for forgiveness; I gave it willingly.”
Realizing the salvation he had gained had not been lost; Paul no longer fought back his emotions. The salvation that God gave when Paul had asked, God did not take away when Paul had faltered. The feeling gave him such a great peace that he could only smile.
“Then Mary…”
“She will meet us there.”
Hearing this, Paul closed his eyes and began to praise God for the gift had had received that day with his father’s tattered bible in his hands. Only now, in this precious moment, was he able to appreciate the value of this gift in such a powerful way.
“I’m ready,” he said aloud. “I’m ready to go home.”
--
The next day, the news was abuzz with reports of a small plane that had not arrived at its destination. Search crews had been sent out over the pacific but no one held any real hopes that the plane had survived the crash, or that anyone was alive. Their assumptions would be proven true a week later when debris was discovered a few hundred miles from Kwajalein. Among the wreckage the bodies of Paul and Mary Whitaker were recovered and flown to Shiloh, Florida, where their surviving family buried them together in a small cemetery just outside the town where they had been raised, knowing that for this couple; death was not the end.
###
About the Author:
JOEL STEPHENS is the author of The Flip Side Series and the Crusader Chronicles. Joel lives in Florida and concentrates on his job as a Technical Writer when he is not creating a new short story or novel. Joel is a huge fan of Science Fiction/Fantasy/History and was inspired by creators like Timothy Zahn, C.S. Lewis, and Isaac Asimov to create stories that weave together a universe where anything can happen. You can find more about Joel online at www.bearsock.com.
Also By this Author:
Once and Again – http://bearsock.com/crusader-chronicles/once-and-again/
The Pain Beneath – http://bearsock.com/crusader-chronicles/the-pain-beneath/
The Dark Horizon – http://bearsock.com/crusader-chronicles/dark-horizons/
The Flip Side:
Heaven Falls Down – http://bearsock.com/the-flip-side/flipside/
The Gods of Deibren – http://bearsock.com/the-flip-side/flipside2/
Tyranny’s Hold – http://bearsock.com/the-flip-side/flipside3/
Connect with Us Online:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/bearsock
BearSock Books Webpage: http://bearsock.com
E-mail: bearsock86@gmail.com
Introduction to the Crusader Chronicles:
The Crusader Chronicles are a trilogy of novels published by BearSock Books. The trilogy follows a the adventures of a human named James Davis as he fights to end a galactic war and to be reunited with his friends and family after he is separated from them and recruited to join the League of Crusaders, a military branch of genetically enhanced soldiers that are the spearhead of the United Space Alliance military.
After having barely survived the galactic-sized “Great War” nearly twenty years prior, the United Space Alliance is on the perilous edge of defeat. Desperate for any signs of hope, the Alliance turns to old records from a dangerous prisoner that claims a “human” named James Davis will prevent the destruction of the Alliance government. Feeling pressured by the mounting tension between the two post-war governments (Kujaen Empire and United Space Alliance), Supreme Crusader Sionis Sepher set out to find James Davis and make him into the hero that destiny has called him to become. Meanwhile the Kujaen Empire, under the rule of a terrifying man named Gion Kujah, begins to push the Andromisa Galaxy closer to a conflict that the Alliance is not certain it can win…
Introduction to The Flip Side:
Starla Knight was a soldier; at least she thought she was until she woke in the wreckage of her ship, a wounded friend, another dead just outside. She had arrived on the world of Deibren and it is on this world that Starla will find her destiny may have more to it than shooting the enemies of her people. Together with the help of Deibren’s native people, Starla must try to find rescue while also wrestling with the mysteries of this alien world that all seem intent on making her into some kind of hero…