The Prophet (PBUH) accomplished the happiness to every one of them; that is because he knew how to deal with women and he penetrated deeply into her sensitive soul and went on apostrophizing her with the warmth of passion and assisted her to work for her religion and her life.

And what about his wives-the Mothers of all believers -? If we searched to know about their lives, we will find that most of the books describe the Prophet’s wives with a common quality; fasting a lot and spending their nights praying. So they were privileged with their nearness from Allah and in apostrophizing him all night , that’s why they deserved this great honour ,they deserved to be the Mothers of all believers, wives of the beloved Prophet(PBUH) in this life and in the hereafter.

But what about us? I know that a lot of the readers are married, and if not, they can see what is going on in most of the marriages these days; noticing their parents, relatives, and friends. Why marital happiness is rare in our days? Is it our time’s fault? No, it is our fault, both men and women.

The fact is that we ruined our lives by materialism, by forgetting our religion, our Islamic civilization, and the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH). We forgot our love to Allah and committed sins publicly; our eyes and hearts do not blink for a moment fearing Allah and thinking about the fact that Allah is watching us.

Then, what can we do now to let happiness come back to our marital lives?

There is only one way; the way of Allah and his Prophet (PBUH). This will make everyone happy with his partner in their marital life, and feel the meaning of the marital happiness that Almighty Allah created.

From here, dear brothers and sisters, I thought of this series “The Prophet as a husband,” to let every husband and wife who became far from each other restore love again. I hope you will follow up this series.

All prayers, blessings, and peace of Allah be upon Muhammad, his family, and companions.

Pampering his Wives and Treating them Kindly

We all read about the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in the fields of education, faith, politics, war, or economy but seldom was written or published about his life (PBUH) inside his house and his relationship with his wives. A person well informed about the familial relationships of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) finds out that it included meanings that we desperately miss in our present time. These meanings would contribute to the stability of our homes and marriages. In this article we are giving some examples of Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) consideration to the feelings of his wives, his appreciation, and manifestation of love.

Calling one's wife with the name she loves most or with a nickname or a musical name is one of the forms of pampering and being kind to one's wife. This can be seen in the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who, in a saying 'Hadith' that is agreed upon by scholars, used to say to his wife ‘A’isha: "O ‘A’ish, this is Gabriel saying peace be upon you.” She replied:” and may peace and Allah’s Mercy and Blessings be upon him. You see what I don’t” (She meant the messenger of Allah (PBUH)

He also used to call ‘A’isha: (Homayraa') a short form of ("Hamraa’) which, according to Ibn Kathir in 'An Nehaya’, means the white skinned woman. Adh-dhahabi also said that "Hamraa'" in the language of the people of 'Hejaz' means white and blushing-a rare feature among them. So Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to treat ‘A’isha kindly and call her with lovely names.

From the prophetic traditions ‘A’isha narrated about fasting; Imam Muslim reported that she said: ‘The messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to kiss one of his wives while fasting, and then she laughs, may Allah be pleased with her.

In another prophetic tradition narrated by ‘A’isha, she said that Muhammad (PBUH) said that the best of the believers is the one who is best in manners and kindest to his own wife.

These sayings 'Hadiths' demonstrate how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) cared for his wives and how well he treated ‘A’isha, May Allah be pleased with her.

One of the forms of cuddling and well treating one's wife is feeding her with one's own hands. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "Whatever you spend is considered charity even the mouthful that you put in your wife's mouth."

Even the food that one feeds his wife with his hands is considered an act of charity that is rewarded by Allah the Almighty and not only an action that guarantees her love and cooperation.

Cuddling and being kind to one's wife has a tremendous emotional effect on her. This action of following the example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) costs a man nothing and grants him Allah's reward, his wife's love and cooperation. Therefore a man is commanded to cuddle and treat his wife kindly.

A man's nature dictates him a certain way of expressing his feelings that is different from a woman's. A woman expresses her love with words like; I love you, I miss you, I need you, etc. On the other hand, a man expresses love in actions and production and seldom with words. If a man wants to tell his wife that he loves her he buys her something she wants or brings some food and drinks or furniture for their house. According to a man, this is a form of love expression.

The generous Prophet has indeed overcome this negative trait in the nature of men. He used to express his love and passion verbally for Lady ‘A’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, treated her kindly, pampered her, and let his wives hear what they wished from their beloved husband and this is a significant aspect in a man - wife relationship. Ibn Assaker narrated- on the authority of Lady ‘A’isha, May Allah be pleased with her- that she said that the Prophet (PBUH) told her: "Won’t you be pleased to be my wife in this life and in the Hereafter?, I said: “Yes,” he said: “You are my wife in this life and the Hereafter."

Imagine Lady ‘A’isha’s emotions having heard the words that guaranteed her security, love, and peace in this life and in the Hereafter.

Al ‘Aas Ibn Ar Rabee'- the husband of Zainab the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)- leaves Makkah escaping from Islam. She sends to him to return and embrace Islam. So He sends her a letter, an extract of which is: "By Allah, I don't see your father as an offender and I love nothing more than following the same rout with you dear beloved. However, I hate being said that your husband has let his people down. Would you consider this and pardon me?" The letter demonstrates that Al ‘Aas loved Zainab and wanted to be with her in whatever road. Moreover he hated that people would talk in a way that displeases her. At the end he asks her to consider and pardon him, for the sake of that love Zainab managed to go to him and return with him a Muslim.

Some writers demonstrate the respect of the West to women by giving examples like a husband opening a car’s door to his wife. Although this apparently is respect, yet, a mature person can see many aspects in which a woman is being offended and disrespected in the West. Muslims do not have the issue of man/woman conflict because they believe each one completes the other and that mutual respect is a must.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is our example in this. One time during his stay alone in adoration of Allah in the last ten days of Ramadan (observing I’tikaf), his wife Lady Safeya came to visit him and spoke with him for some time, then went to the door. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) led her to the door to say goodbye. In another narration, he told her: "Do not hurry to leave till I come with you." Her house was at Ussama's and he (PBUH) left with her. Respect is the source of continual love and stability in a family. Therefore we wish that it prevails between a man and his wife.

If spouses treated each other in such way, a marriage would definitely be beautiful. We desperately need to leaf through the life of the Prophet (PBUH) and the Islamic history to discover the most beautiful theories in the art of marriage.

The Prophet's Adornment for his Wives

To apply love between couples you need to be an inventor, a creative woman like Lady ‘A’isha. Lady Safeya (May Allah be pleased with her) asked ‘A’isha one day to try to let the Prophet excuse her because he was angry with her because of some matter and she will give ‘A’isha her day. Lady ‘A’isha wore a long saffron colored veil after and spread water on it to make it smell well. She went to the Prophet and sat beside him but he said: "‘A’isha , go now it is not your day." She said: "It's the favour of Allah being given to whom he want" and she told him the story.

A woman asked Lady ‘A’isha about henna. She replied”: My beloved (PBUH) loved its colour and hated its smell.” Notice how she used the love language in describing the Prophet’s opinion.

From the Prophet’s side, he has also his ways in applying love.

Lady ‘A’isha was asked about the first thing the Prophet was making when entering his home. She replied: he was using siwak (arak stick for tooth cleaning).Narrated by Muslim

Some scholars said that the Prophet did that to kiss his wives when arriving home.

Al Bukhary narrated”: Lady ‘A’isha said that she was perfuming her husband; his head and beard. She was also combing the Prophet's hair even if she was menstruating."

Now some of men don't beautify themselves for their wives, besides the bad smell of smoking persons. Some don't care for their bodies and armpits smell, clothes, hairs, and nails. They neglect embellishments towards their women.

Women have rights to see and smell all good from their husbands. Follow the Prophet’s example in that matter and you will see how these things increases love between husbands and wives.

Ibn Abbas said that he was beautifying himself for his wife because it is her right to see him in his best conditions as he likes the same from her.

Allah the Almighty said: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable "(Al Bakara: 228)

Another example:

A woman came to Omar Ibn Elkhattab and asked him to divorce her from her husband. When the caliph saw him he knew the reason of his wife’s hatred towards him. So he ordered him to have a bath, adjust his nails, his hair, and his clothes. His wife didn't recognize him at the beginning, and then she knew him and yielded the idea of divorce because she became very happy with this great change.

Yahia Ibn Abdelrahman Alhandhaly mentioned that he saw Muhammad Ibn Alhanafia in a red wrap and his beard was dropping some scents from it. When he asked him about that, he answered him that it is for the sake of his wife who likes to see him like that, the same way he likes to see her in.

Learn the ways of increasing love between you and your wife…Follow the example of the Prophet and his companions May Allah be pleased with them…

Apply what you like to see from your wife upon yourself to strengthen all love relationships and live a happy life…

The Prophet’s Good Companionship

No woman know a good marital companionship –as that companionship means in the perfectness of a person- as she knew of the Prophet of Allah (PBUH), which is clear in the Holy Quran in his attitude, sayings, and deeds.

The most things that specify the Prophet’s morals with his wives were his good companionship, cheerfulness, joking with his family, laughing with his wives, mildness, and generosity.

Even when he was racing with ’A’isha – mother of the believers, May Allah be pleased with her - in the desert in one of his trips, it was to show love to her by that. She said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) raced me and I won, that was before I gained some weight. Then I raced him after that and he won. He said:" we are equal."

Also, The Prophet used to gather his wives everyday in the house of the one he will spend the night with. He sometimes eats dinner with them then everyone leaves to her home. He used to sleep with his wife on the same sheets, take his rope off his shoulders and sleeps in his loincloth. And After praying al ‘Ishaa prayers (which is the last prayer of the day), he goes home and sits with his family a little before he goes to sleep.

Furthermore, The Prophet (PBUH) put the criterion of the best of men in the good treatment of men to their wives. He said: “the best one of you is the best to his family, and I am the best one of you to my family.

"Narrated by At-Termithi

That is because artificiality and pretension of high moral standards becomes weak when the person feels that he has authority and power, and becomes weaker when he stays a long time with whom he has authority upon. If the person keeps on his moral perfection in a society he has power upon and has continuous intimacy with, so this is the best person in morals.

If the Prophet (PBUH) is the best one for his family, so his companionship with them must be really perfect, in all what goodness means of moral perfection in behaviour, love, justice, mercy, loyalty, and all what marital life demands in all conditions, situations and days as it was clarified in Books of Sunna, Merits, and the Prophet’s (PBUH) biography (Sirah Books). And this was indicated in the honourable Sunna in many of the Prophet’s sayings regarding his behaviour with his family and his treatment to them.

A- About the Prophet’s love to them (his wives) Anas Bin Malek –may Allah be pleased with- says:

(1) The Prophet of Allah (PBUH) said:” the things that were rendered beloved to me in this life are; women, perfume, and my tranquillity is in prayers.”

Narrated by Ahmed and others.

(2) Amr Bin al Aas – May Allah be pleased with_ asked the Prophet:” O Prophet of Allah who is the person you love most?” the Prophet replied: “’A’isha”. Amr said: “And from men,” he said: “her father,” I said “Then who? He said “‘Umar”, and he named other men, so I kept silent fearing to be the last one.”

Narrated by At-Termithi

B- About the Prophet’s playing with his family, ’A’isha – may Allah be pleased with- says:

1) I used to play with dolls at the house of the Prophet (PBUH) and my friends used to come and play with me and when he (PBUH) arrives, they leave, so he let them come in to play with me again.”

Narrated by Al-Bukhary.

2) ‘A’isha -May Allah be pleased with her- said:” the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) was standing at the door of my room covering me with his rope so I can watch the Abyssinians playing in the mosque”.

He was very much concerned of ‘A’isha’s young age who keens on having amusement”.

3) We previously mentioned the hadith talking about the Prophet’s race with ‘A’isha – May Allah be pleased with her- which shows the Prophet’s kindness and mercy.

4) An example of his good companionship and the nobility of his morals: ‘A’isha- May Allah be pleased with her - said: “when I drink while being menstruating, and then give the cup to the Prophet (PBUH), he used to put his mouth where I put mine to drink.” Narrated by Muslim

The Patience of the Prophet (PBUH) with his Wives

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is the ultimate human example on being patient with one's wife(s). In spite of his highness at Allah's sight and at people's, it has never been heard of a man who had more patience with his wife(s). Researching Prophet Muhammad's patience, you will come across enough evidence.

It was reported that Umar Bin Al Khattab may Allah be pleased with him said: "We-the tribe of Quraish- used to overpower our wives. When we were encountered by Al Ansar we found out that the women overpowered the men. So our wives started to learn from Al Ansars' women their ethics. So, once I vociferated to my wife and she disagreed with me, but I disapproved her disagreement. She said: “why do you disapprove? By Allah, the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) sometimes disagree with him and abandoned him for a whole day.” Umar was dismayed and told her that whoever did this did it to her loss. Then he went to Lady Hafsah and told her: O Hafsah, do any of you stay angry with the Prophet (PBUH) a whole day? She said: "Yes.” He said: "You are in loss, don’t you fear Allah’s anger because of the Prophet’s, so that you will be doomed?”. This saying 'Hadith’ is taken from Al Bukhary.

Note how Umar ,may Allah be pleased with him, was angry because of a simple disagreement from his wife, while the Prophet (PBUH) accepts the same from his wives with great patience being the generous Prophet and great 'Imam'.

Moreover, in such situations he used to treat them kindly. Lady ‘A’isha, May Allah be pleased with her, said: "Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) told me: "I can tell when you are pleased with me and when you are not.” I said: "How can you tell?" He said: "If you are pleased with me you swear saying: "No, by Muhammad's Lord" and if you are not, you swear saying: "No, by Abraham's Lord."" She said: "Yes by Allah, Prophet of Allah. I can only abandon your name."

This saying 'Hadith' is from Al Bukhari.

Anas, May Allah be pleased with him, reported: "The Prophet of Allah (PBUH) was with one of his wives then another wife sent him a plate of food. The one that the Prophet was at her home hit the hand of the servant who was carrying the plate. It fell down and broke into two pieces. The Prophet collected the broken pieces and the food and said: "Your mother [His wife] is jealous." He then kept the servant until he brought a new plate from the wife who broke the plate to give it to the other wife and kept the broken one at the home of the one who broke it."

Narrated by Al Bukhari

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) overlooked all the doings of his wives, forgave them and was ever patient, even though he was capable of leaving them. Allah would have compensated him with better worshipping, Muslim, believing women, virgins and non virgins as promised in case he divorced them.

“And (remember) when the Prophet disclosed a matter in confidence to one of his wives (Hafsah), so when she told it (to another i.e. 'A’isha), and Allah made it known to him, he informed part thereof and left a part. Then when he told her (Hafsah) thereof, she said: "Who told you this?" He said: "The All-Knower, the All-Aware (Allah) has told me (3)

If you two (wives of the Prophet , namely 'A’isha and Hafsah) turn in repentance to Allah, (it will be better for you), your hearts are indeed so inclined (to oppose what the Prophet likes), but if you help one another against him (Muhammad ), then verily, Allah is his Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector, etc.), and Jibrael (Gabriel), and the righteous among the believers, and furthermore, the angels are his helpers.(4)

It may be if he divorced you (all) that his Lord will give him instead of you, wives better than you, Muslims (who submit to Allah), believers, obedient to Allah, turning to Allah in repentance, worshipping Allah sincerely, fasting or emigrants (for Allah's sake), previously married and virgins.(5) “ ( At Tahrim: 3-4-5)

But he (PBUH) was merciful and the more he was mistreated the more he was patient.

The loyalty of the Prophet (PBUH) towards his Wives

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was immensely honourable and loyal to his wives especially to Lady Khdaija may Allah be pleased with her. Although Lady ‘Ai'sha never saw Lady Khadija and was never harmed by her, she said: "I have never been more jealous of a wife of the Prophet than I was of khadija because the Prophet (PBUH) mentioned her and praised her a lot." 'Narrated by Al Bukhary'

The loyalty of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) to his wives was clear when the “verse of choosing” was revealed-: {O Prophet (Muhammad)! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, Then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce). }(Al Ahzab:28)

First he went to Lady ‘A’isha and told her that he will tell her something and that she should not rush to make a choice until she discusses it with her parents. Considering that she was young, he was worried that she would choose worldly pleasures and lose this life and the Hereafter. But she knew what was good for her more than her parents. She told the Prophet (PBUH): "Do you want me to discuss this with my parents? I choose Allah, His Prophet, and the Hereafter."

After Lady ‘A’isha had made her choice she asked the Prophet not to reveal it to any of the other women. He told her that Allah had not sent him obstinate but a tutor and a facilitator and he shall tell any of his wives if they ask. Then he went to tell his other wives and reported what Lady ‘A’isha may Allah be pleased with her had chosen.

They all chose Allah, His Prophet, and the Hereafter. They had the great manners of the Prophet (PBUH) and so chose what he chose, and like him they abstained from pursuing worldly pleasures and only wanted the Hereafter.

The Prophet's Dealing Justly with his Wives

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) dealt justly with his wives. He loved them and showed his feelings towards them. He was also patient and loyal with them. His actions were arising from sense of responsibility and because Allah the Almighty created him righteous and equitable by nature.

Lady ‘A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) never preferred one wife over another and he used to see all of them in their homes everyday even though he spent the night with one only.

He was constant in his equitable treatment of his wives despite the changes in his conditions. He remained the same whether he was travelling or present at home. When he had to travel he would choose without personal preference - (by drawing straws) which wife would accompany him.

He used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady Sauda Bint Zam'a reached old age and no longer had sexual desire. She dedicated her day and night to Lady ‘A'isha (may Allah be pleased with them). In this way, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet (peace be upon him).

Another example of how the Prophet (peace be upon him) dealt justly with his wives was that when he married a non-virgin he would stay with her for three nights so that she would not feel lonely or not pampered. After that, he would spend the same period of time with her as his other wives. When he (peace be upon him) married Um Salama, he said to her: "There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband. So, if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn." She said: "Spend three (nights)." Narrated by Muslim.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) treated his wives equally even during his last days when he was very ill. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady ‘A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that when the Prophet (peace be upon him) became very sick he asked his wives for permission to be nursed at my house. Naturally, they agreed.

In another narration, Lady ‘A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) said that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to ask in his last days: "Where should I be tomorrow?" He was hoping that it would be the turn of ‘A'isha. His wives permitted him to stay wherever he wanted. He stayed with Lady A'isha until he died and he died in her arms.

Although the Prophet (peace be upon him) treated his wives with perfect equity in what he could control, he apologized to Allah the Almighty that he could not be equitable in what he could not control; meaning, the feelings in his heart. Lady ‘A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) used to treat his wives equally, and say: "O Allah, this is how I divide what I can control. O Allah, do not blame me for what you control and I cannot control." Abu Dawoud said: "Prophet Muhammad meant what is in his heart.” And it was said that it is love and cordiality as interpreted by At Termithi. What is meant, is that Allah the Almighty controls our feelings and hearts and made the love of Lady A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) greater in the heart of the Prophet (peace be upon him) than the love of any other woman. Indeed, he could not control that.

As our feelings are out of our hands and are in the hands of Allah; men who are married to more than one wife are not obliged to love each wife equally, but they are bound to be equal in spending time with them and paying for their expenses. The Prophet (peace be upon him) implored Allah the Almighty to forgive him for loving Lady ‘A'isha more. Allah the Almighty says: "And those who dispense their charity with their hearts full of fear, because they will return to their Lord." (Al-Mu'minun: 60)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stressed the importance of dealing justly with wives because otherwise on the Day of Judgment the man will be severely punished.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the best example for the faithful believers. Allah the Almighty says: "Indeed, you have already had a fair example, in the Messenger of Allah, for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much." (Al-Ahzab: 21)

The words and actions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) are legislations guiding his 'Umma' (nation) to the right path. We should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet (peace be upon him) except for the actions intended by Allah the Almighty to be for him alone.

The Prophet Urged Men to Keep a Good Company with their Wives

Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – has guided his people to keep good company with their wives by word and deed, and there are many traditions of our Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – in this regard, and here are some of them:

1- Al Bukhary & Muslim narrated that Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him – reported that Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – said: "Treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are like this; therefore treat them kindly".

There is another narration to the same tradition by Muslim stated: "Women have been created from a rib. She will never be straightened up in the way you wish. If you enjoyed her companionship, then do it with that crookedness, as If you tried to rectify her she will be broken and breaking her means divorcing her."

The Prophet – peace be upon him – directed men not only to treat women kindly, but also demonstrated their reality to convince men to accept his precious advise, because if the men realized that women are crooked by nature, then they should be patient with women knowing that they cannot be straightforward always, and knowing that they are acting by their very nature; therefore, insisting on the straightforwardness of woman to the ideal level was a point of surprise for the poets, and some of them said:

The Woman is like a crooked rib which cannot be rectified; thus, trying otherwise will break such rib.

Another poet said:

The one who tries to use things beyond their nature is like the one who seeks a torch in water.

2- Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – repeated this commandment in several occasions. In his last pilgrimage (Hijjat Al Wadda), our Prophet – peace be upon him – devoted an essential part of his great sermon to this commandment and said: "Treat women kindly, they are captives in your houses, you have no way except to treat them kindly unless they commit a clear-cut abomination, in which case, desert them in the bed, if not feasible, strike them gently but do not cause them any harm, thereafter, if they obeyed you, do not wrong them. You have a right on your wives and your wives have a right on you; your right on them is that they should keep your honour and do not allow any person to enter your houses if you do not like them to enter, and their right on you is to treat them kindly and provide them with clothing and food". Narrated by Muslim.

The Prophet – peace be upon him reiterated his commandment for woman because he knows well their nature. This nature cannot be tolerated by some of the men who do not have control on themselves when they got angry; thus, their intolerance on the crookedness of women leads them to divorce them; consequently, they lose their wives and scatter their families.

Therefore, the Prophet – peace be upon him – guided Muslim husbands in another tradition to the right way of dealing with their families by saying:

3- "The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character."

Narrated by Muslim.

4- The Prophet – peace be upon him – said also: "Those who are the best believers are those who have the best manners and the most kind to their families."

Narrated by At Termithi and others.

5- The Prophet – peace be upon him – said also: "The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best of you to my family".

6- The Prophet – peace be upon him – said also: "Anything not involving the extolment of Allah is vanity or negligence except four things: exercising shooting, training the horse, playing with his family and learning swimming".

Narrated by Al Nasa'i.

There are plenty of traditions urging the Muslims to have good manners with their families and relatives

Muhammad – peace be upon him – Disciplines his Wives if Necessary

True, the Prophet – peace be upon him – was all the time treating his wives – mothers of the believers, may Allah be pleased with them – kindly and compassionately but this was not the case all the times; because the Prophet – peace be upon him – was wise & prudent, and was taking the right action at the right circumstances; therefore, if the kind treatment was feasible and useful, then he will never hesitate to treat them kindly, but if discipline, prevention and desertion were more appropriate, then he will apply it. A poet said in this regard:

Patience and Forbearing will not be feasible or useful if there were no determination and strictness.

Women are by nature crooked, tending to their sentiments and need always to be educated, cultivated and disciplined; therefore, Allah Almighty has assigned this responsibility to the men by saying: {Men are the ever upright (managers) (of the affairs) of women for what Allah has graced some of them over (some) others and for what they have expended of their riches. So righteous women are devout, preservers of the Unseen. And the ones whom you fear their non-compliance, then admonish them and forsake them in their beds, (Literally: a madajic= reclining) and strike them, (i.e. hit them lightly) yet in case they obey you, then do not seek inequitably any way against them; surely Allah has been Ever-Exalted, Ever-Great} An-Nisa': 34.

The Prophet – peace be upon him – has applied this manner with his family in order to teach Muslims the right way of education and discipline as he taught them to be kind and forbearing with their families.

When the wives of the Prophet – peace be upon him – asked him for spending on them more than the normal limits and wanted to enjoy more pleasures and delights in this transitory life beyond what the Prophet – peace be upon him – determined and elected to himself, he deserted them for one month until Allah Almighty revealed this verse on him: {O you Prophet, say to your spouses, "In case you would (like) the present life (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world) and its adornment, then come, and I will allow you (the necessary) enjoyment and will release you a becoming release ¯ And in case you would (like) Allah and His Messenger and the Last Home, then surely Allah has prepared for the fair-doers among you a magnificent reward} (Al-Ahzab: 28-29);

Therefore, the Prophet – peace be upon him – gave them the choice either to stay with him with the minimum necessary to support living or separation; so, they elected to obey Allah Almighty and his Prophet – peace be upon him – as mentioned before in the narration of Anas, Um Salama and Abdullah Bin Abbas in Al Bukhary & Muslim.

The Prophet – peace be upon him – was like this if the matter required determination in treating his wives, such as in case of committing any religious mistake which cannot be disregarded, in which case, the Prophet – peace be upon him – denounce such mistakes without taking any regard to anything except the pleasure of Allah Almighty; therefore, he was using several methods such as preaching, instructing, frightening and getting angry according to the circumstances of each case.

All of this proves the sublime morals, manners, and wisdom of the Prophet – peace be upon him – as he was taking the right action in the right circumstances.

The Prophet's Emotions toward his Wives

Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet – peace be upon him – you will find that he was extending a great deal respect to his wives and was paying high attention, care and love toward them.

He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love. Here are some attractive examples and shining moments in his life:

Knowing their Feelings

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: "I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying "By the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "By the God of Ibrahim". She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: "No, by the God of Ibrahim".

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2439

Understanding their Jealousy & Love

Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.

Narrated by: Um Salama – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Nasa'i – Page or number: 3966

Understanding their Psychology & Nature

The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "Treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are just like this; therefore treat them kindly".

Narrated by: Abu Huraira – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 3331

This tradition is not for dispraising women as understood by the public, contrary, it is for teaching and educating men. Moreover, this tradition expressed the accurate understanding of the nature of the women and indicated the possibility of leaving the woman as it is in the permissible things but to guide her if she exceeded the permissible limits such as doing the sins and neglecting the duties.

Complaining to & Consulting them

The Prophet – peace be upon him – has consulted his wives in the most delicate and important matters such as consulting his wife Um Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – in Al-Hudaibia Treaty. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – has written the treaty between him and the polytheists of Quraish in Al-Hudaibia region, in the Hudaibia year and told his companions: Go to make immolation and shave, but no one responded. The Prophet – peace be upon him – repeated that three times but still no one responded to him. Then the Prophet – Peace be upon him – went to Um Salama and told her about the matter. Hearing that, Um Salam said: O Prophet of Allah, just go and don't speak to any one until you make your immolation and shave. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – went out and did not speak to any one until he did the same. Seeing that, the companions stood and make their immolation and began shaving for each other to the degree that some of them was about to kill the other out of their grief.

Narrated by: Um Salama Hind Bint Abi Umayiah – Degree: successive – the narrator: Ibn Jarir Al-Tabari – The Source: Tafsir Al-Tabari – Page or number: 2/293

Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long tradition of Um Zara' narrated by Al-Bukhari: I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara' and Um Zara" Aisha replied: You are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara' to Um Zara".

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 5189

Choosing the Best Nicknames to them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was calling Aisha: O Aish (nickname of Aisha), this is Jabril (Angle of revelation) telling you the greetings. Aisha said: May peace and blessings be upon him, you (The Prophet) see what I can't see. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was calling Aisha "Al-Humairaa" (i.e. white-skinned woman).

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right attribution – the narrator: Ibn Hijer Al-Asqalani – The Source: Fateh Al-Bari of Ibn Hijer – Page or number: 2/515

Eating & Drinking with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: When I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 300

Not Complaining of their Circumstances

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I was combing the hair of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while in menstruation.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 295

Leaning & Sleeping in their Laps

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was leaning on my lab while in menstruation and read Quran.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 297

Going on Picnics & Accompanying Them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was casting lots between his wives when he wants to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: Why don't you ride on my camel and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay. Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa riding it, greeted her and walked together until they got down. Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: O my Lord, send a scorpion or a sneak to sting me, this is your Prophet and I can't say anything to him.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2445

Helping them in the Household Duties

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: He was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 5363

Depending on himself to Relieve them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – in his home? She replied: He washes his clothes, milks his ewe, and serves himself.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani– The Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – Page or number: 4996

She said also: he sews his clothes, cleans his shoes and does what men generally do in their homes.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – Page or number: 4937

Tolerating for their Happiness

Aisha narrated that Abu Baker – May Allah be pleased with them – entered to the home of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while two young girls were striking on the tambourine and signing and while the Prophet – Peace be upon him – laying and covering himself with his clothes. Seeing him, the Prophet uncovered his face and told him: O Aba Baker, let them continue, it is the days of Eid (festival). The said days were Mina Days and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was in the Medina.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Al-Sahih An-Nasai – Page or number: 1596

Treat them Fairly while Angry

Once, Aisha was angry of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – So, he told her: Do you accept Abu Obaida Bin Al-Jarrah as a judge between us? She replied: No, this man will not issue a judgment against you in my favour. He said: Do you accept Omar as a judge? She replied: I fear Omar. He said: Do you accept Abu Baker (her father)? She replied: Yes I accept him.

Calm Them Down In Panic

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: "O Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress".

Giving Presents and Showing Affection to their Friends

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2435

74712- When he slaughters the sheep says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – Page or number: 4722

Praising & Thanking them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: The rank of Aisha to the other women is like the rank of the porridge to the other foods.

Narrated by: Anas Bin Malek – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2446

Feeling Happy when they are Happy

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was playing with the toy girls when she was with the Prophet – Peace be upon him. She added: My friends were coming to visit me and they were feeling shy of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – but he was letting them in to me. In another narration in the tradition of Jarir: I was playing with toy girls while in his home.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2440.

Feeling Pleased when they are Glad

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: Once, the Prophet – Peace be upon him – came from a battle and there was a cover for my toy girls in my room. The wind uncovered the toy girls. Seeing that, the prophet said: What is this? She replied: my daughters. He said: What is the thing between them? She replied: it is a horse. He said: What is this thing on the horse? She replied: they are two wings. He said: A horse with two wings!! She replied: didn't you hear that Sulaiman bin Dawood – Peace be upon them – was having horses with wings? The Prophet then laughed until his molars appeared.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Ghayat Al-Maram – Page or number: 129

Expressing his Love to them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not been ever jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2435

Considering her Best Manners

"The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character".

Narrated by: Abu Huraira – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 1469

Keeping Their Privacy

"The worst rank for a man at the day of judgment is the rank of the man who sleeps with his wife and then discloses her privacy".

Narrated by: Abu Saeed Al-Khudri – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 1437

Refraining from Beating or Abusing them

"The Prophet – Peace be upon him – has not ever beaten any woman, any servant or anything in his hand other than fighting in the way of Allah The Almighty. He does not take revenge from anyone harmed him except when breaching the orders of Allah The Almighty, at which case, he takes revenge".

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2328

Consoling & Wiping their Tears

Safiyah – May Allah be pleased with her – was travelling with the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and it was then her turn to travel with him. She was slow in walking. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – received her while crying and saying: You gave me a slow camel. Seeing that, The Prophet – Peace be upon him – wiped her eyes with his hands and consoled her. Narrated by An-Nasai.

Putting the Bite in her Mouth

The Prophet – Peace be upon him said: "If you expend anything seeking the pleasure of Allah the Almighty, even if you put a bite in the mouth of your wife, He will promote you to a higher degree in paradise".

Narrated by: -- – Degree: Right – the narrator: Ibn Taymiyyah – The Source: Majmou' Al-Fatawa – Page or number: 10/31

Fulfilling their Needs

"O Prophet of Allah, what are the rights of my wife? He said: To feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe, don't beat her face, don't abuse her and don't desert her except in home".

Narrated by: Mu'awiah Bin Haida Al-Qushairi – Degree: Stated in the introduction that it is "Right" pursuant to the standards of some narrators – the narrator: Ibn Daqiq Al-Eid – The Source: Al-Elmam – Page or number: 2/655

Trusting them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – prohibited men from knocking the door of their families at night trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes. In another narration, he did not mention "Trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes".

Narrated by: Jaber Bin Abdullah – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 715

Remembering & Caring About Them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was visiting his eleven wives within a short period of time, at night or in the day. I said to Anas: Was he bearing that? Anas said: He has the power of thirty men.

Narrated by: Anas Bin Malek – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 268

Respecting them during Menstruation

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was making love with his wives above the loincloth while in menstruation.

Narrated by: Maimona Bint Al-Hareth – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 294

Accompanying them in Travel

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was casting lots between him wives when he wants to travel then he takes the one who wins the lot. He cast a lot between us in one of his battles and it was me who won it; therefore, I went with the Prophet – Peace be upon him – after the revelation of Al-Hijab (veil) verse.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2879

Racing & Playing with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was accompanying the Prophet – Peace be upon him – in travel while she was a young girl. She said I was still slim. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told his companions to go forward. They went forward. Then he told me: come, I want to have race with you. We started the race and I won. After a period of time, I went in travel with him and he said to his companions go forward. The companions went forward and then he told me: come to have a race with you. At that time, I forgot the former race and I was fat. I told him: how can we race while I am in this situation (thin)? He replied: you will do it. Then we started the race and he won. He laughed then and said: tit for tat.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: his attribution is right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Adab Al-Zafaf – Page or number: 204

Choosing the Best Nicknames for them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said to the Prophet – Peace be upon him: O Prophet of Allah, all of your wives have nicknames except me. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – replied: take the name of your son Abdullah (i.e. Abdullah bin Al Zubair), your nickname now is Um Abdullah. The narrator said: She was called Um Abdullah until she died though she has not ever given birth.

Narrated by: Orwa Bin Al-Zubair – Degree: Right attribution – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Al-Silsila Al-Sahiha – Page or number: 1/255

Sharing Happiness and Joy with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: By Allah The Almighty, I saw the Prophet – Peace be upon him – standing at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing with their bayonets in the mosque of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while he was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing and was waiting for me until I finish by my own will. So, try to consider the desires of the young girls, they like playing.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 892

116691- Aisha narrated: I saw the Prophet – peace be upon him – at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing in the mosque and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – Page or number: 454

Spreading Happiness in his House

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: Once, Sawda visited us and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – sat down between me and her, one leg in her lap and the other in mine. I made then Khazira (food) and told her: Eat! She refused. I said: If you don't eat I will stain your face with Khazira but she insisted not to eat; therefore, I put my hand in Khazira and painted her face. Seeing that, the Prophet – peace be upon him – laughed and gave his share in Khzaira to Sawda and told her stain her face; so, Swada stained my face and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – laughed. Then Omar – May Allah be pleased with him – passed by and called for Abdullah. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – thought that he will enter but Omer said to us: Go wash your faces. Aisha said: Since then, I still fearing Omar due to the Prophet's respect to him.

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