GOLDILOCKS AND THE GUMMI BEARS
By Brennan Haley
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 Brennan Haley
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There once was a girl named Goldilocks who had long blond hair and a sweet tooth. In fact, she had a whole mouth full of sweet teeth. Goldilocks was a very happy girl today because she had just gotten her allowance from her mother and wasted no time hustling down to the local candy store.
Goldilocks was as excited as a young person perusing a retail outlet specializing in confectionary. "Wow, is there ever some awesome stuff in here. I think I'm going to get a whole bunch of liquorice.
Goldilocks was so happy with her new candy that she skipped all the way home. She ran up to her room, closed the door, unwrapped the liquorice and snarfed it all down in one enormous fuschia colored mouthful.
Goldilocks chomped happily in slow motion. "Fif ith thutch good thicathith. Mmmmmmmmmmm"
Soon, it was Goldilock's bedtime.
Goldilocks, who often spoke to herself, mentioned. "I'm so tired, I don't feel like brushing my teeth tonight. I think I'll just go to sleep."
The next day, Goldilocks went to the candy shop to spend some more of her allowance money. The store clerk smiled when she saw their best customer come bouncing in. "Hello, Goldilocks. What will you have today?"
Goldilocks smacked her lips in anticipation. "Well, today I think that I'm in the mood for ... some chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Mmmmmmm."
Goldilocks was so excited to have some chocolate, that she jogged all the way home. Again she went right up to her room, closed the door so she didn't have to share with anybody like her bratty sister Goldibangs and gobbled all her candy.
Goldilocks smiled contentedly, her cheeks covered in brown smudges. "Mmmmmmmm. That was so good, it would be a shame to ruin it with a mouthful of yucky toothpaste. Eh, I can just brush tomorrow."
The next day, there was a surprise waiting for Goldilocks at the candy store.
Goldilocks jumped up and down, her blond hair flying every which way. "OMIGOD!! GUMMI BEARS!!!!!! I love gummi bears so much, they're my most favourite treat in the whole world!"
The store clerk smiled, holding up her trusty candy scoop. "Okay, young lady. How much for you today?"
Goldilocks checked her change purse and cheered. "Wow, I'm going to buy a whole bag, cause I have just enough money left."
Goldilocks bought the gummi bears, but couldn't wait to get home, so she started to eat right in the store. Then she discovered something terrible.
Goldilocks hollered with painful surprise. "Ow! Ow! Ow! These gummi bears are hurting my teeth. What's wrong with my teeth?!?"
The store clerk nodded knowingly, wondering when this day would arrive. "I'm sorry, Goldilocks, but it looks like you've got (lights dim and her voice grows huge and echoey) ... cavities!"
That's right. Goldilocks teeth hurt so bad that the gummi bears were inedible and she had to give them back. She dragged her feet all the way home, holding her aching mouth in disappointment. In fact, Goldilocks skipped supper altogether, and went right to bed.
That night, Goldilocks woke to see a glowing little imp fluttering above her in bed. It was the Tooth Fairy, who spoke in a high pitched, squeeky voice. "Hello, Goldilocks. Why are you so sad?"
Goldilocks rubbed her eyes in disbelief. "My teeth hurt so bad that I can't eat."
The Tooth Fairy consoled the poor little girl. "Don't worry about it, I can fix everything. Do you have a dental plan?"
Goldilocks frowned. "What's that?"
The Tooth Fairy sighed. "Figured so. In that case, just leave some money under
your pillow. Then in the morning, you'll have brand new teeth."
Goldilocks grinned without letting her achy teeth touch each other. "Sweet - Ow, ow!"
The little girl did as she was told, and in the morning she had all brand new teeth. And a problem.
Goldilocks stomped into the kitchen, not in any mood to show off her new smile. "Mother! I gave all my money to the tooth fairy to get my new teeth."
Goldilock's mother, Claire All, pinched her daughter's cheek. "And they were worth every penny. So what's the problem now? Don't tell me you need braces."
Goldilocks buried her chin into her neck and sighed. "But I'm broke and now I can't buy any gummi bears."
Claire patted her daughter's mopey head. "Well, now you know. Candy lasts a few delicious moments, but you'll need your teeth all your life."
Goldilocks nodded. "Yeah, I guess."
Claire smiled. "If you promise to brush your teeth tonight, I'll buy you some
gummi bears."
Goldilock's head snapped back, her eyes wide with glee. "Yey!!!!!!!"
Claire started putting away the breakfast dishes. "AFTER you rake the yard, walk the dog and take out the garbage."
Goldilocks stomped her feet with her hands on her hips. "Whaaaaaattttt!! Aw, mom, that stinks like Goldibang's morning breath."
Mom turned around, her glare ensuring there wasn't any doubt in the room that she was raising a fine mannered young lady and not a potty mouthed little hellion.
Goldilocks pouted, kicked the floor just a touch, then sighed and curtsied. "Oh, Okay."
The End
*** Thanks for reading my submission to Smashwords. As I learn how to use this properly, I'll make more short stories available. The whole point is to provide stories for a very quick and convenient read (in a waiting room, on a coffee break, etc) to take away a little chunk of boredom and replace it with a laugh or two. My hope is that they will make great bedtime stories to be read by time crunched parents who would prefer a fifteen minute reading session rather than an hour plus reading them from a full book. Hopefully they come across as a combination of a comic strip and a video game where an adult can still enjoy what is mostly child orientated subject matter. As soon as I can, I'll have a website up for anyone interested in seeing more about my work, but for now the only place to get them is right here at Smashwords. I hope this story got you through what would've been a boring twenty minutes and was fun. To say hi, just email me at haleyb@shaw.ca or search for Brennan Haley on Facebook. The adventures of Jordan the Pirate, Pequenito, Solemn and the Ogrenaut, Jack the Giant, Jingle Bill and the Falalala Kid, and many others are hiding on my hard drive waiting to pop up on Smashwords and hopefully they find a good home on whatever gadget you're using to read with.