FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
ROAD TO WHOLENESS FOR TODAY’S WOMEN FROM A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE.
BY
R TARUMBWA
8/11/2011
COPYRIGHT R TARUMBWA 2011-2014
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO EVERY WOMAN WHO HAS SUFFERED FROM A LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND LOW SELF ESTEEM AND TRAUMA. ALL GLORY AND HONOUR BELONGS TO MY MAKER, MY REASON FOR LIVING WHO POURS THE WORDS I WRITE INTO MY SPIRIT AND WHO DELIVERED AND HEALED AND RESTORED ME.
CASE STUDY:
Let me introduce you to Naomi. She is an attractive woman but thinks she is overweight. Naomi will not leave the house,without full make up on and will make sure she is wearing the latest clothes,when she goes out. As she wants to fit in and make a statement when she walks in the room. Naomi has rejection issues due to a number of failed relationships and broken family relationships. She is a very insecure woman, but pretends to be very confident and can appear bossy.
Naomi’s dressing has now changed from what it used to.She is now wearing a lot of unattractive clothes and her confidence has gone right down to zero. Naomi is at a point in her life where she does not feel good enough or accepted anywhere and she is saddled with guilt from past mistakes.
Naomi wears her shame,low self esteem and past hurts as accessories, she has built a wall around her to prevent further hurt and pain and humiliation.
Naomi is also very depressed about her weight as she feels she has to conform to a certain size,thus gaining approval. She feels that if she loses the weight she will feel content in herself.
This book is about confidence for women from a biblical point of view.
Naomi is a collection of different women and myself who suffer from the issues, she has. All is not lost though as we serve a loving Father, who loves us with an all consuming love, so much that He sent Jesus to die on the cross. So we could live new lives and be who God created us to be, the women of valour and honour. All the keys to becoming the women we are meant to be are in the Bible.
A lot of us wear negative confessions of who we are. We wear our self doubt, low self esteem and depression and past hurts and shame as accessories. We live dead lives because of carrying these negative confessions. I wore these confessions and was even proud of them and made excuses for them, until I woke up and smelt the coffee and said,’ Rutendo you are the living dead walking around with this stuff’. I took all the robes and gowns collected over a lifetime of different experiences and took them to the feet of Jesus. At the feet of Jesus, I discovered that ‘therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation’ 2 corinth 5:17-18. I discovered I was not the robes I was wearing, I am Rutendo, a child of THE MOST HIGH KING a daughter of THE LION OF JUDAH and so are you.
My loving God then told me and you that’I am fearfully and wonderfully made’ psalm 139:14. I started to declare this word over my life and I started to realise that God is all knowing and He does not make mistakes at all. Nothing God does is ever by accident it is not a mistake. I am not a mistake I never was and never will be. I am an extension of GOD himself, an expression of God’s love. We are artwork created by the Almighty himself.
God created us for a purpose. It was not an accident He did it on purpose. Jehovah had plans for us ‘for I know the plans I have for you ,declares the Lord ,plans for welfare and not for evil ,to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me ,and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me , when you seek me with all your heart.’Jerem29:11-13. We do not to walk around aimlessly when we were created for a purpose and that purpose is to praise and worship God. In psalm 8 David praises GOD that is what we are meant to do, with everything we have inside us, we have to join the choirs in heaven and just praise and worship. When we praise God we remove the focus from ourselves and we develop our relationship with our Father, and when we are in the presence of God we can’t help but be changed by the glory of God.
A lot of the issues we face as women are caused by the fact that we feel misunderstood by society, but you know what; God knew us before we were born and he knows and understands us more than we know ourselves. Jerem1:5.
Nowadays we live in a society where we are governed and imprisoned by fear. That fear manifests itself in depression, binge eating, gossiping, manipulation, low self esteem, anger issues etc. We have been fallen into the trap of the enemy the devil. The devil is nothing but a liar who lies to us and its that voice that will say, ‘ no Ru, don’t wear that you look ridiculous, you are much too big for that ‘ and I will get stressed to the point of staying in so I don’t have to go through the process of finding something to wear. He is that voice that will say ‘Oh just keep quiet, no one will pay attention to you anyway ‘ and he is that same voice telling you ‘you know you are not good enough, they will all leave you ‘ and ‘things will never change for you, you might as well stop trying’. We have let the devil have so much power and control over our minds when in reality he does not have any authority over us. The word of GOD, who has all the power and authority over us says ‘for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control’. 2 timothy 1:7. The manifestation of that fear in our lives kills us we become the walking dead. Do not allow the devil to take over your life and stop you reaching your God given destiny.
We also have the word of God telling us ‘Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect’ romans 12:2. We renew our minds by staying immersed in the word of God and speaking faith filled words and declaring the word itself over our lives.
We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us, phill 4:13. Therefore we are not limited by anything from achieving our goals, the fact that the glory of God surrounds us means all situations bow to that glory. Our self image is not man centred it is Christ centred as we are made in his image.Genesis 1: 27.
We need to keep that in mind at all times once we understand that worldy attitudes will no longer speak in our lives.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father we declare that You are the Most High God our creator and our author and finisher of our faith. God today we thank you for creating us and we give you all the glory for we are fearfully and wonderfully made in your image. We declare that we are covered in your glory and have the characteristics of Christ in us and your grace abounds in our lives. We declare that our minds are renewed and no longer under the yoke of the destroyer.
We thank you for the perfect work you have created in us and we magnify and glorify your name
Thank you Jesus
Ladies therefore lets no longer be Naomi’s and be free women of God with the p31 qualities.
DEALING WITH ABUSE AND REJECTION
Let me introduce you to Tamar in 2 Samuel 13. Tamar was a young woman, who was a virgin and raped by a family member and after she was defiled and having confided in her brother she did not receive any comfort but instead was condemned to a life of shame,lonliness and rejection. The act that was performed on her resulted in her being a paraiah ,this is so clear in the way she tries to reason with her attacker not to send her away.
Prior to this incident Tamar was a normal young woman who was full of life and had still had a lot to offer, this is symbolised by the robe she wore that had many different colours, but after her innocence was stolen she tore the robe up. Its like she was echoing the loss of her youth and innocence and her life as she had known it by tearing the robe up,she could somehow pretend it had never happen or it was a way of mourning the loss of something deeper.
As women we can understand what Tamar felt as she was abused by those she trusted. Most of us have gone through abuse, be it physical or mental or sexual in varying degrees. Whichever way we look at its still ugly and leaves us as women scarred and we can go for years not realising we are in mourning or carrying deep emotional wounds and suffering from trauma and thinking we have recovered and are on top of it all.
Abuse can also rear its head in relationships, where you can be in love with a man who loves you on Mondays through to Friday, but then abandons you during the weekend. That is a form of mental emotional abuse which is very debilitating and will leave you feeling unsure of yourself in every area and having rejection issues. You will find it hard to give and receive love as you will always be in fear of being rejected. You end up thinking you are un loveable that is why your partner does what he does.
Sexual abuse is another terrible tool the devil uses to kill your spirit as a woman. It takes the touch of God to restore and heal a woman who has suffered such trauma. Often victims of this type of abuse become very introverted and have deep emotional scars which can manifest as depression or very challenging behaviour or living a life with no boundaries. Sexual abuse within a marriage also destroys the female victim, how will she explain to her friends her husband is raping her every night,chances are they will laugh their heads off and say how can your husband rape you when you are married.
A woman who is looking for love in all the wrong places will go from relationship to relationship trying to fill a void that only be filled by God and trying to find an unconditional love that will only come your heavenly father.
Any affirmation a woman thinks she will get from men will only lead to feelings of unworthiness and deeper feelings of insecurity and rejection and even deeper hurts and a life of pain if we do not accept the healing available to us.
Dysfunctional family relationships also lead to bondage. If those foundational relationships are dysfunctional they will result in dysfunctional adults. These relationships will impact future relationships with the opposite sex or with your children or friends. Again it will boil down to the fact that if the perception that you are rejected or not loved by your family you will carry that emotional baggage around and be unreceptive to love. Agape love is the only thing that will wipe away the pain.
I dealt with the issue of rejection and mental abuse for years until God poured his healing love into the deep crevices of my soul that had been hurt and were damaged. I was rejected by someone I thought loved me unconditionally at the time I wanted to die and I could not breathe or sleep for the pain. There was a very public fallout that resulted from the breakdown of that relationship, I felt humiliated and felt alone and that there was no one to help put me back together. My confidence hit rock bottom I went through a nervous breakdown and it’s a miracle in itself that I did not die from alcohol poisoning as I drank so much. I would toss and turn mumbling to myself at night and I just did not want to deal with life. I felt like my whole world had ended and I did not think anyone was interested in what I was going through and cared enough what was going on with me.
I have a very strong personality and am a very strong woman but this broke me in all senses of the word, but how many women reading this who might have gone through worse know we serve a miracle working God. I survived by the grace of God after having torn the robe of many colours I previously wore like Tamar. God then restored and healed me and adorned me with His righteousness ,His joy and His peace and His love and unmerited favour. Nolonger did I feel rejected instead I realised I was a marvel of God’s creation and I was called Beloved. I learnt not to seek affirmation from people but I was aware of who God said I was and really let Jesus live through me and transform and renew my mind,body and spirit. I also managed to learn to forgive myself and those I felt had hurt me and I released all the hurt and pain to God. God tells us to bring all our burdens to Him and He will give us rest. In 1 corinth 1:27 -28 Jehovah will take your stuff and use it to be a blessing to other people, your mess will be transformed to a restorative tool and that is so amazing as because of your mess you will have been despised and rejected but THE GOD OF THE TURNAROUND WILL USE THAT TO SHAME THE WISE.
The road to wholeness
Psalm 34:18 God has such a big heart for us as his children, we are daughters of the most High God and He wants to heal and restore us, we just have to show up in our pain and shame and let His love saturate us and be overshadowed by His sustaining presence where we lack nothing.
Psalm 68:5-6 Once again the great I Am shows that He is everything to us a father,a defender, a comforter to the lonely and a provider of company and abundance. God just loves to perfect all things pertaining to His beloved . Declare the word of God into your life and let it take control in your life, remember its sharper than anything else.
Psalm 40:1-3. God will bring you out of the depths of despair and set you on solid safe ground where the angels will always watch over you and God himself will never leave nor forsake you. The spirit of the Lord is calling all those who need healing to come to well of living water and drink the water that will satisfy every part of you. God will hold you together while he restores you then you will be able to walk in the freedom God created for you.
Isaiah 41:10. Let all your fears go and the fear to retain control,give God the control and surrender it is so hard to walk when you are bound and bowed down, remove the garment of fear and let the Almighty do a mighty work in you as He holds your right hand.
Isaiah 61:3. God will give you beauty for the ashes that have invaded your soul and life and you will be made into a tree of righteousness. Tamar means tree in Hebrew but God’s power in your life will transform you into a tree of righteousness, talk about a 360 degree transformation. Where you will laugh when you say is this really me , the woman who had no joy no goes around with a song in her spirit and an inner smile.
Out of your pain God will be glorified if you just go the feet of Jesus and sit there and cry out to Jesus in your distress and let Jesus do the rest and watch the Holy Spirit breathe new life into you.
John 10:10. Jesus came to restore in abundance what the devil has stolen from the daughters of Zion. LET HIM.
FURTHER SCRIPTURES TO UNDERLINE YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST
Meditate and pray over these scriptures and let them speak to your spirit and come alive in your mind and start to transform your mind.
2 corin 5: 17-19
Gal 6:15
Rom 10:17
Rom 3:23-24
Col 2:13
Eph 1:7-8
Eph 2: 13-14
2 corin 5:19
Eph 1:6
2 corin 5:21
Woman of God I challenge you to realise who you are and realise that you are perfect and you are not a mistake and that is time to stand up straight and walk tall and no longer be bound and bowed down let the King of Kings restore you and bring you to wholeness and walk in the knowledge that Jesus loves you and He will never let you go and let the new work in you begin. Enjoy the freedom we have in Christ.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY AND STAY BLESSED, MUCH LOVE DAUGHTERS OF ZION
RU
Email rutendotarumbwa@yahoo.co.uk