Humor & comedy

< Back to home

Save a tree. Publish online instead. Smashwords.com

Visit other Smashwords satellites:

Discover free ebooks you can download to your Sony ebook Reader.

Sort by:

Date Added

Title

Length

- Hide covers + Show descriptions - Hide bios

I Don't Know Why	by Dwayne Bearup Feb. 08, 2012	601 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Everything worth knowing about me can be discovered in my writings. Enjoy.
The Grave	by Mike Bennett Feb. 07, 2012	5359 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Mike Bennett is an English writer and podcaster. He has recorded his story collection, "Hall of Mirrors: Tales of Horror and The Grotesque" and is now releasing the stories as e-books. He has also written and podcast the novel, "One Among the Sleepless", and is currently writing and podcasting his second novel, "Underwood and Flinch".
Ten Things I Hate About Valentine's Day	by Margaret Finnegan Feb. 06, 2012	531 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Margaret Finnegan is a writer and writing instructor. Her work has appeared in Salon, LA Times, FamilyFun and other publications. She has one husband, two teenagers, and one dog. She is very partial to the dog. Follow her blog at http://margaretfinnegan@blogspot.com
My new breasts	by silverscalpel Feb. 06, 2012	675 words	Read a sample
Author bio: silverscalpel is the currrent pen name of the author. she is a geek at heart, with an old wanderer's soul.
Het ontslag (een Gemma Vlugzout)	by AnaÃ¯d Haen Feb. 06, 2012	3276 words	Read a sample
Author bio: AnaÃ¯d Haen is een prijswinnend schrijfster, die met haar verhalen (naast nominaties bij Op Ruwe Planken en Troepiaal) de Unleash Award 2010 en al vier keer de themawedstrijd van Pure Fantasy heeft gewonnen. Haar verhalen zijn verschenen in Pure Fantasy, Dertien, Zee van Verbeelding, Verborgen achter de Horizon, Fantastisch strijdtoneel II en op Ruwe Planken 9.1. Ze schreef samen met Cocky van Dijk drie Sinterklaasmusicals. Jaarlijks organiseert ze de verhalenwedstrijd Fantastels. Ze schrijft verhalen en romans, vaak in samenwerking met Django Mathijsen. Dutch short story author, mainly writing fantasy and science fiction. In Dutch.
When Only The best Will Do	by robert renshaw Feb. 06, 2012	541 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Tall Fit Aussie, enjoys the good life and a good laugh. Discovered writing at an early age and enjoy the world it creates within me.Surrounded by lifes adventures,I have chosen a path that provides the most diverse and not always pleasant endings. My books are free to read, and please contact me anytime to discuss them.
Tunnel Vision	by Barnaby Wilde Feb. 05, 2012	10518 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Barnaby Wilde is the pen name of Tim Fisher. Tim was born in 1947 in Hertfordshire, United Kingdom, but grew up and was educated in the West Country. He graduated with a Physics degree in 1969 and worked in manufacturing and quality control for a multinational photographic company for 30 years before taking an early retirement to pursue other interests. He has two grown up children and currently lives happily in Devon.
Light Years Away	by Dave Riessen Feb. 04, 2012	687 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Dave's work revels with the fanciful, ponders the enigmatic, and examines the human character.
Unrequited Love	by Thomas Robertson Feb. 04, 2012	500 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Although Iâ€™ve made my living as a teacher and guidance counselor, Iâ€™ve always had a passion for writing. Thomas Bouregy and Company published my novel, Return to Paradise Cove, under their Avalon imprint. Two of my one-act plays, A Different Kind of Death, and The Flirt, have been produced, respectively, in New Haven, Connecticut, and Sacramento, California. Short stories of mine have appeared in commercial magazines such as Action and True Romance as well as in certain literary and professional ones.
Foreignright 4.5.1	by Eric Cline Feb. 04, 2012	1072 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Eric Cline is a native of Missouri. He has a Master's Degree in English. His work has appeared in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and on the Every Day Fiction site. He will reluctantly continue his day job until enough people buy his writing for him to devote all of his energies to it . . . and thanks for doing your part!
The Trouble with Daleks: a work of fan fiction	by Paris Portingale Feb. 02, 2012	54564 words	Read a sample
Author bio:
The Stockholm Manifesto	by Steven Hager Feb. 02, 2012	1837 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I'm a writer, journalist, filmmaker, event producer and counterculture and cannabis activist. I was the first journalist to travel to the South Bronx and document the origins of hip hop. In 1987, I was hired as editor of High Times magazine. I created the Cannabis Cup, a cannabis awards ceremony held every Thanksgiving in Amsterdam, and The Freedom Fighters, the first hemp legalization group. I also created a garage-rock revival band called the Soul Assassins. In 2002 I directed the video shoot that was later released as Live in Amsterdam (Fishbone album). In 2004, I wrote most of the narration for a/k/a Tommy Chong and also appear in the film. My most recent hardback book, The Octopus Conspiracy and Other Vignettes of the Counterculture, was published by Trine Day. Most of my eBooks are available exclusively through smashwords. I also regularly appear at college campuses, sometimes solo, but usually as part of a debate on the legalization of cannabis, alongside former New York City D.E.A. chief Robert Stutman. The event, known as "Heads versus Feds," began in 2001 and has visited more than 200 colleges in ten years, regularly drawing standing-room crowds. Bob and I are known as "The Ultimate Odd Couple," and have become close friends despite the cultural gap between us. The debate is booked by Wolfman Productions in Connecticut.
Jenno's Widdlington	by Jenno Bryce Feb. 02, 2012	5849 words	Read a sample
Author bio: The gardens of Peter and Jenno were back to back. At the bottom of Jenno's garden was a chicken shed. Peter just had a shed. Jenno and Peter were in different gangs; but a friendship developed... more or less.
Clootie's Cover	by Robert James Tootell Feb. 02, 2012	4138 words	Read a sample
Author bio: About the author: Rob Tootell grew up in the rural market town of Alton, Hampshire, and has lived in UK, Poland, Japan, and France. Published books: A Cafe in Kazimierz and other stories(Paperback, 2002) Krakow Stories and Stranger Things Than This (Paperback, 2008) Krakow Stories and Stranger Things Than This (E-book, 2009) Stranger Things Than This (E-book, 2010) Selected Stories and Poems (E-book, 2011) Five Stories for Makers of Short Films (E-book, 2012) Luke (E-book, 2012) Clootie's Cover (E-book, 2012) His favourite stories / books: The Three Lilies by Jan Neruda; In a Far Distant Land, Light Breathing, In Paris, et al, by Ivan Bunin; The Bishop, The Artist's Story, Rothchild's Fiddle, by Anton Chekhov; Red Cavalry, The Tales of Odessa, by Isaac Babel; Too Loud a Solitude by Bohumil Hrabal; Gimpel the Fool, The Cabalist of East Broadway, by IB Singer; Klingsor's Last Summer by Hermann Hesse. The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell; The Colossus of Maroussi by Henry Miller; Goodbye to All That by Robert Graves; The Radetsky March by Joseph Roth; The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino; War and Peace by Lev Tolstoy; The Drowned and the Saved, Moments of Reprieve, by Primo Levi. He is currently living under a bridge with his pencil and pad, and asks only that instead of just downloading free samples you buy a copy of one of his books, perhaps 'Krakow Stories and Stranger Things Than This' because at approx 270 pages for a fiver it is the best value for money! Keep him in good spirits and support writers worldwide... Contact email: robzaba@yahoo.co.uk
Luvletterz.com Episode 2	by Nathaniel Davis Jan. 31, 2012	3959 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Nathaniel Davis grew up in a suburb of St. Louis, MO and attended St. Louis Community College where he majored in Computer Science. He is a big fan of baseball and the St. Louis Cardinals. He currently resides in Morris County, NJ.
Kafka's Hairbrush (Story)	by Stefano Boscutti Jan. 31, 2012	4206 words	Read a sample
Author bio: STEFANO BOSCUTTI is an independent writer and director and ideas man. He loves stories about true mavericks and outsiders who want to change the world. Larger than life characters who either wildly succeed or go down in flames. (Often both at the same time.) Boscutti's stories are usually laced with humor and a ton of irony.
Modern Art	by Tal Vinnik Jan. 31, 2012	4733 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Tal Vinnik resides in Ann Arbor, Michigan, biding his time before fame and success. He has written several short films including Convenience and had a lead role in the award-winning short film, Heart.
A Sidequel?	by Stephen Jennison-Smith Jan. 30, 2012	167 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I have written 7 books and have another 2 in the pipeline. Three are funny, two are not. If you search for the titles you will find them on-line. The Crying Pennant is the first. I am now publishing my flash fiction on Wattpad look for StephenJennison-Smith.
Bathman	by J. Conrad Guest Jan. 29, 2012	2519 words	Read a sample
Author bio: My first novel, Januaryâ€™s Paradigm, was published by Minerva Press, London, England. Current Entertainment Monthly in Ann Arbor, Michigan, wrote of Januaryâ€™s Paradigm, â€œ(readers) will not be able to put it down.â€ I have another novel based on the Joe January character, Januaryâ€™s Penitence, being considered for publication. In 2008 I completed Backstop: A Baseball Love Story in Nine Innings, which is now available from Second Wind Publishing. After completing a futuristic piece, Chaotic Theory, a novella that explores the conjecture of how the flap of a butterflyâ€™s wings in South America might result in a tornado in Texas, I commenced my next major project, a murder mystery that spans two centuries written around baseball legend, Ty Cobb. My fiction and essays appear in various online and print publications, including Cezanneâ€™s Carrot, Saucy Vox, River Walk Journal, 63 Channels, The Writers Post Journal, Redbridge Review, and Blood and Thunder: Musings on the Art of Medicine. I am also a contributing writer to Impact Times and am cofounder of The Smoking Poet. My sports writing can be found at Bleacher Report.
The East Village	by Steven Hager Jan. 29, 2012	2425 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I'm a writer, journalist, filmmaker, event producer and counterculture and cannabis activist. I was the first journalist to travel to the South Bronx and document the origins of hip hop. In 1987, I was hired as editor of High Times magazine. I created the Cannabis Cup, a cannabis awards ceremony held every Thanksgiving in Amsterdam, and The Freedom Fighters, the first hemp legalization group. I also created a garage-rock revival band called the Soul Assassins. In 2002 I directed the video shoot that was later released as Live in Amsterdam (Fishbone album). In 2004, I wrote most of the narration for a/k/a Tommy Chong and also appear in the film. My most recent hardback book, The Octopus Conspiracy and Other Vignettes of the Counterculture, was published by Trine Day. Most of my eBooks are available exclusively through smashwords. I also regularly appear at college campuses, sometimes solo, but usually as part of a debate on the legalization of cannabis, alongside former New York City D.E.A. chief Robert Stutman. The event, known as "Heads versus Feds," began in 2001 and has visited more than 200 colleges in ten years, regularly drawing standing-room crowds. Bob and I are known as "The Ultimate Odd Couple," and have become close friends despite the cultural gap between us. The debate is booked by Wolfman Productions in Connecticut.
Inappropriate Behaviour and Other Stories	by Aussie Scribbler Jan. 29, 2012	39661 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Although I am currently happy and high functioning, I have had a long history of mental illness, including endogenous depression, bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. My book "How to Be Free", for which I used the name Joe Blow, is an articulation of the ideas which have been useful to me in freeing myself from these conditions. If asked whether these ideas have provided me with a secure foundation for emotional stability, happiness and flowering creativity, I would reply, â€œWell, so far so good.â€ I also write humorous erotica under the pseudonym Aussiescribbler. In many ways my playful, irreverent and anarchic fiction is another form of expression of the approach to life I advocate in "How to Be Free".
The Safety Dance	by Justin Cawthorne Jan. 27, 2012	11131 words	Read a sample
Author bio: As a budding writer for far too long I'm hoping 2009 will be the year that I finally beat lack of time and discipline and get writing again. Screenplays and horror fiction are my chief areas of interest, but we'll see what else comes out. As long as it's not poetry - I'm really rubbish at poetry.
Luvletterz.com Episode 1	by Nathaniel Davis Jan. 26, 2012	3447 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Nathaniel Davis grew up in a suburb of St. Louis, MO and attended St. Louis Community College where he majored in Computer Science. He is a big fan of baseball and the St. Louis Cardinals. He currently resides in Morris County, NJ.
How I, One of Life's Star Members, Avoided the Jealous Wrath of My Social Class	by Frankie Lassut Jan. 26, 2012	22140 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I don't think saying 'I'm a writer' is enough to describe what I actually do. I like to entertain, and I use writing as a medium to do that. That then makes me a (and yeah, I obviously use a keyboard),... a... what's a good word? How about, a Pen-tertainer? I'm a Pentertainer ... I live in Coventry, England, but am originally from the North West of the country. I've been in Coventry for 21 years, and the hardest part was learning how to use a knife and fork and other domestic things after spending so much time up there in the frozen wastelands tearing chunks of meat off the kill after roasting it on a fire. Mind you, I'm not entirely re trained to life in the City, as quite a few people I've met down here do still talk in grunts; I'm one of the few who can understand them, and so, I work part time in the DSS claims office. (not true, but wouldn't that be so cool if it was). I myself got told off years ago by a stern faced lady in the claims office. I was on the Jobseekers/New Start course (Course? LOL), and I told my claims officer that I enjoyed going down there ... "Mr Lassut! You aren't supposed to enjoy it!" ... Her T shirt should have given it away before I opened my mouth. It read: 'I hate what I'm told to hate ... that means YOU' Last time I saw her she was in the fancy dress shop near Argos, buying a Gadaffi costume with mask. I thought she was going to a fancy dress do, but now look! ... I think she was investigating international claimant's Nat Insurance numbers, but got a little carried away. Bless her cotton socks.
A Key West Song: An	by Anthony Bjorklund Jan. 26, 2012	2978 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Writing fulfills my terminally lazy need to accomplish something in life, and finishing a book is always one of the better feelings I have, right up there with heading out on vacation to someplace warm. The books I pen have been and will always be stories that are meant to entertain and above all be fun to read.
Maladiction	by Tom Morris Jan. 26, 2012	5597 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Started reading SF and Fantasy in the 1950's (yes I am that old), Galaxy and Astounding magazines mainly. Have been a fan ever since. Horror as well - especially Lovecraft and Derleth. All time favourite author is the great Jack Vance, but recently have found Neal Asher - fantastic! Have fooled around with writing short stories for a long time, but couldn't be bothered to submit them. Found Smashwords and decided to take the plunge. Will be adding more soon. I play GuildWars a lot - hence the picture - that's my character, a necromancer of course!
The Quite Unusual Tale of the Spotless Leopard	by Rachael Long Jan. 26, 2012	3279 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I live in Somerset, England (UK) and have been writing short stories and poetry for an awfully long time. However, fed up with rejection slips, I was on the verge of giving up when I discovered Smashwords. I have a quirky sense of humour - Monty Python: abstract, surreal. Over the coming months I hope to unleash a good selection of my writing onto Smashwords. What do I like? Reading; non fiction, historical. Music: everything from Bach to Beatles to punk. And when I'm not doing anything else, I cook, bake and make preserves too.
Shit Ain't Perfect: Lessons in Real-World Living	by E Ballz Jan. 25, 2012	89575 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Eballz is... A seasoned writer and practitioner of telepathy. A student of human psychology. A supporter of all causes humanitarian. A people-watcher. Extremely motivated... in extremely narrow areas of interest. And speaking of interest... He likes a mild Autumn day. And a good Lager. But he hates routine. And boring people. And morning people. And fast-talkers, stalkers, big-talkers, and juiced meatheads who hide needles in lockers. He despises being told what to think. And when to think. And where to think. He was the most disorganized student in high school. His messy binder made the yearbook. True story. He has degrees in English and Psychology from Dickinson College. He has tutored peers, worked at grocery stores and cafeterias, volunteered at retirement homes, and is currently employed as a substitute teacher. In his spare time, this aspiring author watches the occasional NBA game and tries to catch the show Californication whenever possible. He enjoys Stephen King and may be one of the biggest detractors of the Twilight series. His Writing Experience: Eballz has written poems about pencils and flowery romantics and odes to death and tales of earthworms getting crushed. He's written stories. He's posted some online, some in minor publications. He's dabbled in futuristic sci-fi, erotica, mythic fantasy, the gratuitously gruesome, the existential, the transcendental, and a few monologues. He's written his share of academic papers and mock-academic papers. His English Senior Thesis explored Depersonalization and Defense Mechanism in Bill Watterson's Dualistic Brainchild, Calvin and Hobbes. He's written papers for peers and friends, and offers his services to anybody willing to pay (contract me!). He is currently hard at work on his fourth screenplay, and upon completion, intends to send all of them for review in WGAW agencies. In Elementary School, a bird pooped on his head. True Story.
Kate Fails Again	by Jessie Adams Jan. 25, 2012	2831 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I recently graduated from Indiana University with a B.A. in English. I write as a hobby mostly (although secretly I imagine that someday I will be super famous and make loads of money doing what I love!) To get an idea of what my life has been like watch The Middle (episodes available on Hulu). Some things that are not included in that show that did happen to be included in my real life are: My dad's a funeral director (I know spooky right!) so I grew up listening to jokes like "When I die, I'd like to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming like the passengers in his car! Budumpcha -- That was my spelling of a drum role. I am a middle child and a self-proclaimed keeper of the piece. I married young, and am living happily ever after with my guy and our pet cat. At any rate, I hope you enjoy these stories!
In Search of Nectar	by Kirkus MacGowan Jan. 25, 2012	4880 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Kirkus MacGowan wrote his first book at age eight about traveling to Mars to find the cure for cancer. He put his writing dreams on hold for twenty-five years and focused his energies on playing baseball. He moved on when he found playing softball with his friends more enjoyable. Since then, he graduated with a B.S. in Psychology, married a woman too good to be true, and moved back to his hometown. He gave up an amazing career waiting tables and now stays at home with his two crazy children. He spends his time writing thrillers and fantasy, playing softball with friends, enjoying the occasional computer game, and wrestling with his kids.
Millicent and Retticent go to Texas	by Obeo Ashton-Greene Jan. 25, 2012	484 words	Read a sample
Author bio: A long time friend who loves to contribute to what this vision is all about. Oh, yah, and D told me he was about to publish a book based on bink. Being like minded...
Abnormal Obviosities	by Daniel Donohue Jan. 24, 2012	3467 words	Read a sample
Author bio:
Far from Eleven: the Post-Casey World	by Peter-James Dries Jan. 23, 2012	22426 words	Sample 20%
Author bio: Peter-James Dries was born in 1985 and, after attending thirteen schools, finally settled in Palmerston North, graduating from Massey University with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature in 2011. Experimenting with writing since a young age, Far from Eleven, part one of the Eleven trilogy, is his first published fiction. His previous work has included reviews for records and gigs for the muzic.net.nz website and newsletters. As well as a writer, Peter-James Dries also records, produces and performs music in his band [Amos/Anon], which has achieved a small level of notoriety in the underground music circuit.
Going Home and Other Stories	by Sylvia Morice Jan. 23, 2012	4558 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Sylvia Morice writes fiction, creative non-fiction and poetry. Her work, including several of the stories in Postcards From Home, has been published in various Canadian literary magazines, periodicals and newspapers and two of her short stories were published as a Chapbook 'Wages of Sin 'by Wild East Publishing. Sylvia maintains a blog at sylviamorice.wordpress.com where she writes eclectic, entertaining posts about life and she is currently working on a novel-in-progress. Sylvia is interested in any and all comments about her work and loves to connect with readers and other writers.
Sick Duck	by Sembe Mengo Jan. 23, 2012	9108 words	Sample 20%
Author bio:
A Little Bit Elephant	by Barnaby Wilde Jan. 23, 2012	7378 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Barnaby Wilde is the pen name of Tim Fisher. Tim was born in 1947 in Hertfordshire, United Kingdom, but grew up and was educated in the West Country. He graduated with a Physics degree in 1969 and worked in manufacturing and quality control for a multinational photographic company for 30 years before taking an early retirement to pursue other interests. He has two grown up children and currently lives happily in Devon.
Uncle Adonis - Ladies' Man	by Wynn Parks Jan. 22, 2012	5719 words	Read a sample
Author bio:
Learning to Pond Skate	by P. Lowe Jan. 22, 2012	573 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I am a mother of four wonderful young adults. A very happy wife to a great man. I own and operate my own business, and a way for me to relax is to write. I find it comforting to see what little elements in my life would make a story. I live in the same town that transplanted to and was raised. I love it here.
Watching with Thoughts	by P. Lowe Jan. 22, 2012	2408 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I am a mother of four wonderful young adults. A very happy wife to a great man. I own and operate my own business, and a way for me to relax is to write. I find it comforting to see what little elements in my life would make a story. I live in the same town that transplanted to and was raised. I love it here.
One Day In The Life Of A Great Communist Leader	by Anindya Basu Jan. 20, 2012	4610 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Anindya Basu is a former software professional turned writer who lives in Howrah, West Bengal, India. 'The Final War' is his first novel. His passions in life are books, songs and computer games.
Pages From A Not Yet Lost Diary: A Selection	by Anindya Basu Jan. 20, 2012	49425 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Anindya Basu is a former software professional turned writer who lives in Howrah, West Bengal, India. 'The Final War' is his first novel. His passions in life are books, songs and computer games.
The Mortal Hole	by Tom Lichtenberg Jan. 19, 2012	32716 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I write books across a lot of different genres and styles. I've got some sci-fi, some mystery, some satire, some young adult, a little kids' book, and some just plain old-fashioned stories. Most are short and easy to read, are sometimes funny and often feature unexpected endings. Some of my books are related to each other, sharing characters, locales and plots. Snapdragon Alley, Freak City and Dragon Town comprise "The Dragon City Trilogy" The "All Geeked Up" collection includes World Weary Avengers, Ledman Pickup, and In Constant Contact "The Secret Trilogy" is 'Chaos Fiction' and includes Squatter with a Lexus, Secret Sidewalk, and Hidden Highway "Rays and Nights" is a collection of cross-genre stories that share certain characters, and includes the faux-horror Zombie Nights, the sci-fi Death Ray Butterfly and the coming-of age stories of Raisinheart Fissure Monroe features the intrepid private eye, Dawn Debris. Missy Tonight follows Orange Car with Stripes in these stories of Atheist Comic Sci-Fi Pulp Fiction. Golden is a screenplay based on Time Zone. Jimmyland is a screenplay based on Phantom of the Mall. Inspector Mole pops up all over the place. If you like one, chances are you'll like another, and if you don't, well, thanks for giving it a try!
Diary of a Reluctant Vampire	by LC Cooper Jan. 19, 2012	622 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Lady Chatterly Cooper, or LC Cooper as she became known, remains a Lady of the '80s. Pink high-tops (autographed by Rick Springfield) and checkerboard waffle Vans (a la "Fast Times at Ridgemont High") complement her ensemble of Jane Fonda leg warmers and Madonna junk jewelry. Because she's no longer perky and petite, parachute pants are a necessity and not a lingering fashion statement. She maintains her own sense of style and grace. Her daughters, Tiffany, Farah, and Demi, and her sons, Milli, Vanilli, and Bruce don't think so. Disenchanted that she wasn't "discovered" while a groupie for Culture Club, Wild West and Wham, LC set a course for self respect and began writing. Her first book was a biography about that lovely couple, Sean Penn and Madonna. Although the project tanked, LC caught the writing bug. Gone were the days of scrawling invitations on men's-room walls. LC hit the big time when Thunderbox Press published her kiss-and-tell exposÃ© entitled, "Speedo Libido." Although some washed-up rockers found humor in it, ("Yeah, I shagged her," Rod Stewart supposedly said, "but who didn't I bang in the '80s?"), others, such as PeeWee Herman ("she was too old for me") and George Michael ("she doesn't even look like a dude") might have been offended. VH1 canned the TV series based on the book when a test audience preferred to see Ozzy flitting around his house in a dress instead of watching LC's aged, saggy boobs flop around in her red one-piece swimsuit in slow motion on camera. Once again trashed by the music industry, brokenhearted LC withdrew from the limelight and bought a secluded ranch in The Everglades. Not able to grow much in all that muck, the stinking goo inspired her second novel, "Stick in the Mud." This satire chronicled the price-fixing practices of the Recording Industry Association of Antarctica. Thumbing its nose at consumers, governments, and free-trade around the world, the RIAA fought to suppress "Stick in the Mud." Written from a male point-of-view, the book details how the RIAA takes the consumer up a dark and dirty path where no woman can go. These days, LC enjoys spending long weekends with her David Hasselhoff inflatables. Whenever her dolls are worn out, LC manages the writing careers of her six children. When that happens, they buy her more dolls. ###
The Christmas [Blank]	by Brian Rushton Jan. 18, 2012	2743 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I'm a tester for Microsoft Windows and a pretty dang good husband and dad. I graduated from the University of Washington and have lived pretty much my whole life in Washington state, except for two years in the Oriental Republic of Uruguay on a church mission. I still pronounce the "LL in "tortilla" like an "SH". I don't really think of myself as an author - I'm definitely keeping my day job - but I evidently had enough science fiction ideas floating around in my head to put them into a book. (I've pondered a sequel off and on, although The Plasma Master definitely stands on its own.) And finally, I can twitch my finger tendons back and forth over my knuckles.
A Christmas Carol For Modern Times	by Clare Tanner Jan. 18, 2012	2839 words	Read a sample
Author bio: Clare Tanner lives in West Berkshire, UK, where she belongs to a local Writers' Group. They have published two anthologies of short stories and are shortly to publish a third. "The Tranquillity Project" is Clare's first novel.
The Bat And The Rainbow	by cuchulain coker Jan. 17, 2012	90 words	Sample 20%
Author bio: hi
God, dog and Beelzebub	by Gerrard Wlson Jan. 17, 2012	1149 words	Read a sample
Author bio: I am Gerrard T Wilson, the crazymad writer of children's stories. Although my works are primarily aimed at children, adults can and, indeed do, read them with as much interest and excitement. I like to think that my work has a universal appeal, spanning the generations, the sexes and even the continents. I have written so many stories, including 'Tales of the Extraordinary' (short stories with a unique, sometimes chilling appeal), 'Ali-bonkers', 'Fizzy Cherry Cola', and 'The Witches', also 'Forget the Celebrities -Read about My Crazy Life' (weird and bizarre tales from my absolutely crazy-mad life), 'Alice on Top of the World' (a follow on story to Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass), 'HARRY, oh, she is a ROTTER (she's bad - and has lost her Magical Marbles), and 'Jimmy, the Glue Factory and Mad Mr Viscous' (Jimmy is trying to stop Mr Viscous from rendering the horses into GLUE). I also wrote 'Nursery Rhymes - MY CRAZYMAD WAY' (my own unique slant on some familiar rhymes), 'My CRAZYMAD Poems' (a collection of strange, oddball, oftentimes bizarre poems, including 'Are you Normal?', 'Conkers Bonkers', 'Louco's Preferred Drink', 'Sparky Parents' , and 'I'm NOT Mad'). There is also 'Bolf' (a Troll whose idea of a having good time is eating empty cigarette packets!). You will also read about 'Fle' (an extremely old elf who lives in a fertilizer mine), 'Fairy Tales' including 'The Three Faerie Sisters', the 'Little Brown Frog', and 'A Christmas Story'. Next up is 'God, dog and Beelzebub' (what (what on earth can that be about?), 'Greengrocer Jack and the Talking Cabbages' (trying to stop a giant Yam from taking over the world), 'Poor Jane', and 'A Punt across the Thames' (I almost drowned that day!). Last, but certainly not least, I also wrote Wot, Nott, Kakuri and the HU BA HOU', a series (three quadrilogies) featuring the oddball Outlanders, Wot and Nott. Instead of giving your child that extra toy for his or her birthday, a book is a far better option. Preferably one of mine, I am sure they will treasure it long after their toys are abandoned at the back of that dusty old wardrobe. Signed: The Crazymad Writer - ARRRGH.
Morton's toe	by Robert Challis Jan. 16, 2012	1176 words	Read a sample
Author bio:
ULLA SUNDSTRÃ–M	by Bernard Viallet Jan. 16, 2012	19998 words	Read a sample
Author bio: NÃ© en 1948 Ã Paris XVÃ¨me, Bernard Viallet rÃ©side en Ile de France. AprÃ¨s un classique cursus universitaire (licence de Lettres), a exercÃ© Ã©galement quelques petits mÃ©tiers avant d'intÃ©grer l'Education Nationale oÃ¹ il exerÃ§a longtemps dans des quartiers sensibles. Cette expÃ©rience, il la raconte dans son tÃ©moignage : Â«Â Le Mammouth m'a tuÃ©Â Â» (Editions Tempora). Depuis qu'il n'enseigne plus, il est retournÃ© Ã ses premiÃ¨res amours : la littÃ©rature (Â«Â Ulla SundstrÃ¶mÂ Â», Â«Â Dorian EvergreenÂ Â» et Â«Â Les Faux AsÂ Â», trois titres disponibles sur Kindle et en version papier chez TheBookEdition.com), la musique et les voyages Ã pied.
ULLA SUNDSTRÃ–M	by Bernard Viallet Jan. 16, 2012	19998 words	Read a sample
Author bio: NÃ© en 1948 Ã Paris XVÃ¨me, Bernard Viallet rÃ©side en Ile de France. AprÃ¨s un classique cursus universitaire (licence de Lettres), a exercÃ© Ã©galement quelques petits mÃ©tiers avant d'intÃ©grer l'Education Nationale oÃ¹ il exerÃ§a longtemps dans des quartiers sensibles. Cette expÃ©rience, il la raconte dans son tÃ©moignage : Â«Â Le Mammouth m'a tuÃ©Â Â» (Editions Tempora). Depuis qu'il n'enseigne plus, il est retournÃ© Ã ses premiÃ¨res amours : la littÃ©rature (Â«Â Ulla SundstrÃ¶mÂ Â», Â«Â Dorian EvergreenÂ Â» et Â«Â Les Faux AsÂ Â», trois titres disponibles sur Kindle et en version papier chez TheBookEdition.com), la musique et les voyages Ã pied.

1 [2] [3] [4] [5] Next > Last ›

Free Sony EBooks

Humor & comedy

Visit other Smashwords satellites: